Here's a little detailed info about all the little people that make Team Druid Inc. the leading company it is today. Now since I'm lazy, I'm not going to do everyone at once so you'll just have to check back to see when new employee profiles have been added. For today we'll start out with our VP of internal affairs, Meat Hand "The Coach" Williams.
MEAT HAND "THE COACH" WILLIAMS
This here would be our valuable VP of internal affairs or operations. Now sure you may wonder, "no matter how good the guy is, why would you hire a guy named Meat Hand to work for your company?" Well I'll tell you a little something about Team Druid Inc....we strive for diversity amongst our ranks and do not discriminate against people with deformed hands. We turned his handicap into an advantageous oppurtunity for our company. Now lets go ahead and get his meat hand out of the way and show ya why he's called meat hand....
Now that that's over with let's talk a little about Meat Hand Williams.....First off upon meeting MH, you'll discover he doesn't have a firm grasp of the english language, in fact he doesn't speak english at all. When he has something to say, he says it in his own language which consists mainly of random baby-esque coo's and ah's. We have no idea what any of them mean, but we all just listen to his sounds, smile, and then get back to what we were doing before hand. It is rumored that he once did speak in a form of broken english, but that all changed when he learned the truth behind his mentor Bruce "I'm dead and Chuck Norris isn't" Lee's death. He's a rabid Lee fan and there's always been this consensus that Lee would own The Texas Ranger in a real fight, but one day the truth came out that Lee died due to a vicious knife hand block of death by Mr. Norris. This truth was more than MH could handle and he went mad, to never (at least until this day) speak english again. It's a sad reality for our VP of internal operations, but thats why Team Druid Inc has a secret underground laboratory devoted to finding a cure for what ails our insane VP of IO.
Once dubbed The Farmer for his excellant gardening skills, he seems to have dropped that moniker in favor of the new MH "the coach" williams title. So I'm sure you're wondering what exactly a VP o IO does. Well we're sure its supposed to be something important, but in truth we haven't a klue either. So how exactly does Mh contribute to the Druid cause? Well we're not sure on that either as all he really does is make noises and rip and re-rip the same cd's onto his hard drive over and over and over and over......A computer genious he is, thats nearing mastery of using a keyboard to type and the mystical art of dragging files. No one in Team Druid can handle a computer like MH. It's rumored he's dating our very own Nibbles the Giraffe, but We're guessing thats just a rumor started by quality control. The best part about MH is his insane amount of dedication to the company. He forsakes all others, including his female companion to better the company by ripping and re-ripping the same cd's repeatedly. Not even a sweet piece of ass can deter him from his task.
Thats more than you all need to know about The Farmer. He's one of our fave employees and we hope he stays on with the company for many years to come.
Here's a brief table to show the who's who in the upper levels of Team Druid Inc....
| NAMES | JOB TITLE | JOB DESCRIPTION | POWERS | ANNOYANCE LEVEL | ||
| Shin | President and CEO | Criticism to reap better productivity from his underlings and running a tight ship | frowning, hating and anything else negative one can think of | 11 on a scale of 1-10 | ||
| Butters | Quality Assurance Secretary | sending rasslin themes to those who don't want them, being friendly | pretty picture drawings on tables that lol ppl into submission | 6 | ||
| Nibbles the Frowning Giraffe | Personality Director and Eir to the Gouki Throne | questioning Shin's every thought and correcting his bad spelling | frowning, evil eye stare of death, putrid sad puppy look of doom | 2 | ||
| Meat Hand the Coach Williams | VP of Internal Operations | ripping cd's he's ripped hundreds of times before and pretending he doesn't have a gf | not speaking english | 13 | ||
| Prepknot | Head of Security | telling people the buck stops here | not speaking period and artful whimsy | 0 | ||
| Josh B | Customer service | bitch slappin Nibbles and chompin dat chicken yo | talking like golem and attracting millions of 12 y/o female followers | 5 | ||
| Viking | GTA tester and Personel Trainer | grunting | grunting, weilding a battle axe, and slicking back hair | 0 | ||
A LINK
