Disclaimer: I own nothing here. I borrow it all. Please don’t sue.

Author’s note: Okay, I did it. So many people were not happy with me for ending the story the way I did last time. I warned you it was gonna be sad! But, here is the sequel. I couldn’t leave things the way they were either. I love happy endings, so this one is for all the people who wrote to me and threatened to throw things at me if I didn’t make it right. J Enjoy the Happy Ending!

Summary: Spike has been gone for four months. He tries to reclaim his vampire roots, while Buffy is miserably regretful of her decision. With a little help, they find their way back to each other.

Rating: R

Where The Heart Is

Part Two

Buffy sat on her bed numbly. Her pretty, lavender dress was wrinkled and dirty. Dried tears stained her cheeks and her eye makeup was smudged and running down her face. Her hair that had once been pinned on top of her head majestically, was now half up and half down. Little bits of baby’s breath and leaves were stuck in her tangled hair. She sniffled and clutched a bouquet of white roses to her chest.

Today had been Xander and Anya’s wedding. Everything had been so perfect for them. Buffy had been a bridesmaid, and she had really tried to get herself into the role. She tried to be excited for them, and for a short time, it had worked. But that moment of blissful ignorance had been short lived.

Buffy had been the one to catch the bouquet. As soon as she did, she felt the tears begin to fall. She couldn’t stop them anymore. Suddenly, all she could think about was the love she had lost. The love that she threw away. She had let fear and doubt cloud her mind, and now she was left with nothing.

Dawn pushed open the door gently and saw her sister sitting there, lost in thought.

“You look like hell Buffy.” Dawn said taking in her appearance

Buffy looked up at her with a blank expression.

“What happened to you?” Dawn asked concerned.

“I ran into some vampires on my way home from the wedding. No big. My dress didn’t quite make it unscathed, though.” She said managing a small smile. “But hey, I saved the flowers.” She said indicating the bouquet.

Dawn smiled half heartedly and walked over to her. She sat down on the edge of the bed.

“You okay?” She asked.

“Yeah.”

“Why the tears? Were they really mean vampires?”

“No. I just always cry at weddings.” She said trying to wipe the drying tears off her face.

“You’ve never been to a wedding before.”

“Well, they still make me cry.” Buffy shrugged.

Dawn sighed and shifted uncomfortably. Their relationship was still a little strained. Four months had gone by since Spike left. Dawn didn’t speak to Buffy for almost a month, unless it was to yell at her and tell her to go away.

Finally, they had managed to call an uneasy truce. Dawn knew that Buffy was still hurting. Part of her had been a little glad about that. She knew it was wrong to feel that way, but she couldn’t help it. She had wanted her to hurt and realize what a huge mistake she had made.

But now, she couldn’t help but feel a little sad for Buffy. She was her sister and despite all the rotten things she had said to her in the last few months, she still loved her. Dawn reached over and touched the bouquet of roses that Buffy held.

“So, looks like you’re next.” Dawn said, with a small smile.

“What?” Buffy asked, jolted out of her thoughts.

“You caught the bouquet. It’s tradition. You’re supposed to be the next bride to be.”

Buffy looked at her and felt a sob catch in her throat. She threw herself back onto the bed and began to cry. Dawn instantly knew she’d just put her foot in her mouth. She thought it would cheer her up, but instead, it most likely just brought up memories of Spike.

“I’m sorry, Buffy.” Dawn said softly.

“It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I’m never going to get married now. I mean not that I ever was. But, at least I had love. Now, I probably won’t ever find anyone to love me again.” Buffy said sadly, thinking of Spike.

“Sure you will. You’ll find someone else.” Dawn reassured her softly.

“I don’t want anyone else. That’s the problem.” Buffy sighed. Then she looked at Dawn wistfully. “Spike and I were so wrong for each other. But at the same time, we were so right. I mean, no one else can stand to be with either one of us.”

Dawn smiled slightly.

“Well, you have a point there.”

“It was crazy, but somehow, it just worked. I just miss him so much.” Buffy admitted softly.

“I know.” Dawn said sympathetically. “But you have to believe that you’ll be happy again.”

“I’m trying. Today, I was supposed to be happy for Xander and Anya. I put on my fake smile and went through the motions. But all I could think about was that I was so jealous of their love and their happiness. What kind of friend is that?” Buffy groaned sadly.

“A self involved one.” Dawn said giving Buffy a look.

“Thanks a lot.” Buffy said irritated.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that, today wasn’t about you.” Dawn said matter of factly.

“I know that. Geez, you’re not very good with the sympathetic shoulder.” Buffy said rolling her eyes.

“Look, I’m sorry. It’s just hard for me to muster up pity when you’re the one who created this. You told him to leave. Maybe if you’d at least given him a chance, you wouldn’t be in this mess.” Dawn said, feeling the bitter emotion bubbling to the surface again.

“No. I might be in an even worse mess. Like having to kill someone else I love.” Buffy said harshly.

“It wouldn’t have been like that.” Dawn protested.

“Dawn, please. Let’s not rehash this again. I don’t feel like fighting with you. I don’t feel like fighting with anyone. I just want to take this dress off, burn it, and then sleep for next week.” Buffy said, feeling exasperated.

Dawn realized that she was pushing things too far. She sighed.

“Fine. I’m sorry.” Dawn said quietly, getting up to leave.

Dawn walked out the door, leaving Buffy to wallow in self pity. Dawn shook her head, and wished somehow she could turn back time and change things. Four months ago, they had all been so happy.

Buffy and Spike were together. Dawn still had her best friend. They were like a family. And all because of something stupid, it was over. Now it was just the two of them alone again, and miserable.

She walked downstairs and sat on the couch. She had taken off her wedding clothes earlier and now sat in battered sweats and a t-shirt. She picked up the remote and flipped the TV on.

The familiar theme song to Dawson’s Creek wafted through the room. Dawn bit back tears. This was her and Spike’s favorite show to watch together. She flipped it off. It wasn’t the same making fun of Pacey without him.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Spike walked the darkened streets slowly. He hadn’t been back to London in a long while. He had grown up here, but it certainly wasn’t anywhere near the same. That had been more than 120 years ago.

He’d been back since, of course, but it had to have been at least thirty or forty years now. There was nothing like it. He wanted to feel at home here again, but something just felt off.

Because it isn’t home anymore…He told himself. He then shook the thoughts out of his head. It didn’t do him any good to think about that other place anymore. The Hellmouth could open up and swallow Sunnydale for all he cared. At least that’s what he tried to tell himself.

After he had left there, he’d wandered around the states for a bit. He had hung around in LA for a short time. But he wasn’t too keen on the idea of running into Angel. He knew the longer he stayed, the more likely that scenario would have been. For that reason, he left after two weeks, and headed east.

He ended up in New York. He used to love it there, but it didn’t seem to hold the same charm it once did. Maybe it was just because he wasn’t the same anymore. He still hadn’t fed on a human since he’d left Sunnydale, four months ago.

He knew he was being ridiculous. Buffy wasn’t ever gonna know, and she didn’t care anyway. Still, he just couldn’t do it. In his time with her and with the chip, he’d grown fond of people. He had stopped looking at them like Happy Meals with legs. He wished he could be that way again.

Life was so much simpler before. But humans no longer looked merely like food to him. They were people. People who had lives and loves and family and friends. It just wasn’t the same anymore. This realization hit him hard, one night while he was in New York.

That night, he had gotten piss drunk, trying to drown his sorrows. He wandered down the darkened streets until he came upon a young girl. She looked around twenty, and she was alone. She appeared to be down on her luck and living in the alleyway where he found her. She was pretty, despite her disheveled appearance. He looked at her and realized that he was hungry. Very hungry.

He had decided to approach her and turned on his charm. She’d fallen for it and agreed to go back to his place. She was tired and cold and desperate for a place to stay. She wasn’t a prostitute, but she knew that she may have to sleep with him in order to get a warm bed for the night. He said he only wanted to help her out, but she knew it was likely a lie. She didn’t care at this point. It was worth it to her. And so they left.

He had gotten her to his run down apartment where he had fully intended to drain her dry. He was ready for this. It was time to stop denying what he was. He was starving and she was stupid to go to a strange mans apartment in the middle of the night. She deserved to be eaten for being so gullible.

She sat down on his bed and readied herself for the price she knew she’d have to pay for his hospitality. Only she had no idea who or what she was dealing with. She started to take off her clothes reluctantly and he looked at her strangely.

“What are you doing?” He asked, through his drunken haze.

“This is what you want right?” She asked timidly.

He smiled. He hadn’t thought of that. But, it had been a long while since he’d gotten lucky. Not since Buffy. Maybe he would have a little shag before he ate? He could close his eyes and pretend it was her.

He sat down on the bed next to her. He brushed her long, dark hair off of her shoulders and spied the pulse pounding in her neck. He licked his lips in anticipation as he leaned in to kiss her neck.

“I’ve never done this before.” She said nervously.

He pulled back and looked into her eyes. They were big and blue and full of innocence. Suddenly he realized, she reminded him of Dawn. Oh god…What are you doing? He scolded himself, suddenly feeling ill.

“How old are you?” He asked her softly, quickly beginning to sober up.

“Sixteen.” She whispered.

That’s it. He was going to be sick. She was just a child and here he was preparing to bed her. And not only that, he was planning on killing her as well. He hated himself more at that moment, than anything. He tried to fight back the emotion in his voice.

“What’s your name?” He asked softly.

“Jennifer.”

“Jennifer…What made such a young thing like yourself, take to the streets? Don’t you know it’s not safe?” He asked her gently.

“I-I ran away because my parents didn’t understand me.” She said softly.

“You’re sixteen. No one understands you. Not even yourself.” He said shaking his head.

“But, I just thought that without them, things would be better. They were always getting on my case about the way I dress or who my friends were. They wouldn’t let me do anything. I-I just snapped one day and took off. Now I’m too ashamed to go back.” She admitted softly.

“How long have you been out here?”

“Three weeks.”

“You have to go back. I’m sure your mum and dad are worried sick. It’s not too late. If you stay out on the streets, you’ll get yourself killed, or worse.” He said seriously.

Suddenly, the only thought in his head was that this girl could be Dawn. The thought of what he was planning to do to her, only moments before made his heart ache and his stomach turn. Somewhere down the line, he’d turned into Angel, he thought to himself bitterly.

Stopping evil, saving runaways. Next thing he knew, he’d be climbing up trees to rescue kittens. It was sickening, but also true. He just wasn’t evil anymore. He may not have been a boy scout, but he was no monster anymore either. He sometimes wondered what he was. Nothing made any sense to him anymore. This wasn’t supposed to be such a hard choice.

“Mister, I can’t go home. My parents will kill me.” Jennifer said, as she began crying into his jacket.

“Don’t call me Mister. My name is Spike.” He said, lifting her chin to look at him. “And your parents won’t kill you. But on the streets, someone else might. You have no idea the sorts of things lurking about out there.” He said seriously.

“Why are you being nice to me?” She asked wiping her eyes.

He looked at her and shook his head. Why indeed?

“Because, you look like you need a friend, is all. I know how that feels.” He admitted softly.

“Right. A friend.” She said rolling her eyes. She didn’t buy that sweet talk for a minute.

“That’s right.” He said defensively, knowing she didn’t believe him.

She looked at him and sighed.

“Can we get this over with?” She asked.

“Get what over with?”

“I mean, don’t you want to…well, you know?” She asked him nervously.

“No. I don’t. I don’t want that from you.”

“Then what do you want?” She asked skeptically.

“Nothing. I just want to help you. You sort of remind me of someone I knew once.” He said softly.

“Really? Who?”

“Just a friend. She was about your age. Her name was Dawn.”

“What happened to her?”

“Nothing. I just had to leave her. It’s a long story. One you don’t want to hear.” He said dismissively.

“Oh.” She said softly, not fully understanding why this man was talking to her at all.

“Look, all I know is that if she were in trouble like this, I’d want someone to help her.” He explained with a sigh.

“You really want to help me?”

“Yeah.”

“So, um, can I crash here tonight?” She asked him hopefully.

“You can stay here tonight if you want. But just for tonight. In the morning, you’re calling your parents and going home.” He said sternly.

She reluctantly nodded her head.

“So, do you like, have anything to eat? I’m starving.” She said with a small smile.

“Yeah. Not much though. I have some potato chips and some beer.” He offered her.

“You don’t cook much do you?” She asked.

“I eat out a lot.” He said, not wanting to tell her the truth about him.

That night, he and Jennifer talked for hours. At her urging, he told her about Dawn and Buffy, being careful to leave out the specifics of why he had to leave. She was a good listener and the way she laughed made him heartsick for Dawn and home. He hadn’t realized how much he had needed someone to talk to. Or how much he hated being alone.

The next day, she did as he asked and called her parents. They were thrilled to hear from her and were going to come from Jersey to pick her up. He was glad that she was going to be safe now.

That evening, he had decided to move on. That’s when he eventually ended up in London again. He had decided that New York just wasn’t far enough away from Sunnydale. Maybe another continent all together would help ease his pain?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dawn heard the phone ringing and she ran to pick it up.

“Hello?” She asked breathlessly.

“Dawn. It’s me, Giles. Is Buffy around?”

“Um, no. I don’t think so. I just got home.” Dawn said, clutching the phone to her chest. She called out. “Buffy?” No response. “No. She’s not here.” Dawn told Giles.

“Oh, well, I was hoping to talk to her. This time difference is rather bothersome.” He said, as he scratched his head.

“Is it important?” Dawn asked curiously.

“Well, no. I suppose not. It’s just that, she seemed rather gloomy at the wedding last week. I never had the chance to properly talk to her while I was there.” Giles told her.

“Buffy’s been gloomy for months now. It’s not really a newsflash.” Dawn said rolling her eyes.

“I see. Well, I suppose she still misses him.” Giles said uncomfortably.

“Yup. I just wish I knew where he went. Maybe I could make him come home?” Dawn said, more to herself than to Giles.

“Well, Buffy made her decision. Do you think she would really want that?” He asked her.

“I don’t know. I think so. I mean, she misses him so much. You saw her.” Dawn said pointedly.

Giles wasn’t sure what to say. He sighed.

“Still, I would have to say, it’s probably for the best that he’s gone.”

“How can you say that? Is everyone completely cold hearted? Am I the only one who cares?” Dawn said desperately.

“Dawn, I didn’t mean to upset you. I know you miss him as well, but Buffy did what she felt was best.” Giles explained, not really wishing to delve into this with her on the phone.

“Well, what she thought was best, is certainly making her miserable. If I have to walk into a room and see her crying while listening to The Way We Were, one more time, I’m gonna puke.” Dawn said irritated.

“She’s listening to Barbra Streisand music?”

“Yes. That tells you how much she’s completely lost it.” Dawn said rolling her eyes.

“Well, I see your point. Listen Dawn, I must go now. But tell her I called and ask her to give me a call when she’s not crying over dreadful love songs.” Giles said with a worried smile.

Dawn hung up the phone and sat down at the kitchen table. She pulled out her homework and started leafing through it uninterested. Buffy walked into the kitchen.

“Who called?” She asked.

“Giles. Were you here? I called you for you, but you didn’t answer.”

“I was upstairs. I didn’t feel like talking.” She said sullenly.

“Oh. Well, he wants you to call him. He’s worried about you.”

“I will. Later.” Buffy sighed.

Dawn looked at her long face and rolled her eyes.

“Are you just gonna mope around here? Cause if you are, then I’m going someplace else. I can’t concentrate on World History with you sulking around like that.” Dawn said irritated.

Buffy looked at her surprised at her harshness. She realized she was being a major annoyance. Not just to Dawn, but to everybody. She was always moody and crabby. Her friends hardly talked to her anymore. Her life was just one big mess, and she was wallowing.

“I’m sorry Dawn. You’re right. I need to get over this.” Buffy said trying to be strong.

“Yeah. You do.” Dawn said pointedly. Then she softened her tone. “Look, I know you’re sad. I am too. But he’s not coming back. I know I keep thinking that he will, but he’s not. For once, I think he actually listened to you.” Dawn said with a small smile.

“You’re right. I mean, I’ve told him to leave like a billion times, and he had to pick now to actually do it?” Buffy said attempting to be light hearted.

Dawn gave her a half smile then looked away.

“Where do you think he went?” Dawn asked quietly.

“I don’t know.”

“Maybe you could try and find him somehow?” Dawn offered her hopefully.

“No. I wouldn’t have the slightest idea where to start. Besides, he probably doesn’t want to be found. He’s probably enjoying his new evil life.” Buffy said quickly.

“You think? I mean, do you really think he went back to being all evil and stuff?” Dawn asked curiously.

“I don’t know. I mean, why wouldn’t he? It’s not like he has a reason to be good anymore.” Buffy shrugged.

“I know, but maybe he still is? He told me once that he wasn’t sure he could ever go back.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter. He’s gone. And I need to get over it. After all, as you’ve pointed out to me a million times, this was my decision.” Buffy said quietly.

“I know.” Dawn said softly, looking down at the table. She then looked up at Buffy. “I’m sorry I gave you such a hard time. I was just really mad. I know this wasn’t easy for you.” Dawn told her awkwardly.

“It was one of the hardest choices I’ve had to make. Sometimes, I just get so tired of trying to do the right thing. Especially when the right thing leads to my own misery.” Buffy said sadly.

“Do you still think it was the right thing to do?”

Buffy thought for a moment, then looked at Dawn.

“I don’t know, Dawnie. I think so. But sometimes, I wish I would have given him a chance to prove himself.”

“Me too.” Dawn said sadly.

“It’s too late though. He’s gone. There’s no use wondering about it now.” Buffy said, trying to shake her doubts away.

“If he did come back, would you give him a chance?” Dawn asked curiously.

“What makes you think he’d want a chance?”

“I just know him.”

“Well, so do I. And I don’t think he’s gonna come back. He may be a glutton for punishment, but he’s not a moron. So let’s just drop this, okay?” Buffy said, getting up from the table.

“Fine.”

“I’m going out for awhile.” Buffy muttered as she grabbed her coat and headed out the back door.

Dawn watched her go and shook her head sadly. If only there was something she could do.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Giles made his way down the dimly lit street. He had a long day, and was eager to unwind a little. Luckily, there was a small pub just down the street from his flat. He walked into the drinking establishment and sat down at the bar.

“Scotch on the rocks, please.” He told the barkeep.

The bartender put the drink down in front of him and he took a sip. He was worried for Buffy and the way she was acting lately. He felt so guilty for leaving her alone. He had decided to come back to England, before she had been brought back. It felt wrong being in Sunnydale without her. And as a Watcher, he was left without anyone to watch.

But once she had returned, he knew it was probably wise to move back again. But something inside of him said it was time to move on. He had already established a new life for himself here, and picking up and moving back again just wasn’t practical.

He still felt guilty, although he knew there was little he could do to help her with this matter. Demons and Hellgods he could deal with. Matters of the heart were not his strong suit. He took another sip of the strong alcohol and rubbed his temples. His eyes scanned the crowded pub, until they settled on a man sitting alone in the corner.

“I don’t believe it.” Giles muttered to himself as he stared at the man.

His shock of unruly, blonde hair stood out in the darkened room. Spike sat at a table by himself, nursing a beer. He never looked up and only stared down at his drink. Giles recognized him instantly. He wondered what he should do. Should he approach him? Was Spike a danger to the patrons of the bar? Would he even want to see him?

He decided to chance it. He felt as if he should at least say something. He took his drink and walked over to where Spike was sitting.

“Spike?” Giles asked reluctantly.

Spike looked up at the familiar voice and smiled. Then his smile faded as he realized that Giles wasn’t a friend anymore. Probably never was.

“Rupert. Fancy meeting you here.” He said casually.

“I was about to say the same. I wasn’t aware you were back in England.” He said awkwardly.

“What can I say? I was homesick.” Spike shrugged, taking a drink of his beer.

Giles shifted uncomfortably, unsure of what else to say or do. Finally, he sat down across from Spike.

“Mind if I join you?” He asked.

“Looks like you already have.” Spike smirked sarcastically.

“Yes, well. I could leave.” Giles said anxiously.

“No. Stay. We could reminisce about old times.” Spike said with a sarcastic laugh.

“I’d rather not.” Giles said shaking his head.

“So then, what do you want?” Spike asked curiously.

“I’m not sure.” Giles said, scratching his head. “I suppose I’m curious as to how you’ve been.”

“You actually care how I’ve been?” Spike asked incredulously.

“Well no. I-I suppose… I wonder…Should I be fearful?” Giles stammered.

“Of what?”

“Of you. I-I mean I heard about the chip.” Giles told him.

Spike laughed.

“Don’t worry, Rupert. I’ve already eaten. You’re safe. For now.” Spike said smirking at him evilly.

Giles looked at him and tried to guess what his state of mind was. Was he joking? Was he in fact back to his old tricks again? Giles realized he should probably get away from Spike quickly before he had to find out.

“Well then, nice to see you. I had better go.” Giles said, standing up.

“You haven’t finished your drink.”

“Yes, well, I’m not really that thirsty anymore.”

“Will you just sit down? I’m not gonna bite you, if that’s what you think. I gave that up.” Spike sighed, trying to put him at ease.

“You gave it up?”

“Ridiculous, isn’t it? I mean, I tried. I wanted to. But you damn people mucked all that up for me.” Spike said bitterly, as he took a gulp of his drink.

Giles sat down again and looked at him curiously.

“You haven’t fed since you’ve been…well, free?” Giles asked.

“Nope. I bloody well intended to. Lots of times. But you know the funny thing about people? They like to talk. They all have stories. I’m trying to get myself ready to eat, and they just open their bloody mouths and start talking. Before I know it, we’re chatting, and I’m still hungry. It’s sickening.” Spike said, slightly drunk.

“What?” Giles asked curiously.

“They talk. I mean, how would you feel if you sat down with a nice ham sandwich and right when you were getting ready to sink your teeth into it, it started speaking to you?”

“I’d rather think that I’d gone insane if my sandwich was speaking to me.” Giles said with a small chuckle.

“Well, now you know how I feel.” Spike said, raising his glass to his lips again.

Giles looked at him dumbfounded. He was rather shocked. Spike apparently had not returned to his evil ways. Despite the chip, he still remained the same. It was startling and more than a little curious. Giles had to wonder if he were actually telling the truth.

“You’re serious?” Giles asked curiously.

“Do you think I’d joke about that? I’ve turned into a bloody poof! I make Angel seem evil. At least he’s got an excuse. There is no excuse for me. I don’t even have a stupid soul! I’m just pathetic all on my own.” Spike said irritated.

“I-I don’t think it’s pathetic. It’s fascinating, really. The chip seems to have conditioned you to behave a certain way. Behavior modification, so to speak. It’s rather like shock therapy, I suppose. It’s remarkable.” Giles said looking at him fascinated.

Spike rolled his eyes.

“Would you stop looking at me like that? I’m not a science project. Besides, it wasn’t the bloody chip that conditioned me. It was Buffy.” He added softly.

Giles heard the pain in his voice as he practically whispered her name.

“Buffy?”

“Yes, Buffy. It was never about the bloody chip. It was about Buffy. It’s always about Buffy. She ruined me. She turned me into someone else. Someone I don’t even recognize anymore.” Spike said despairingly.

“I understand that she had an effect on you. But without her influence, I must admit, I assumed you’d revert back to your old ways.” Giles said, scratching his head.

“You think she still doesn’t influence me? Every time I close my eyes, she’s there. In my mind, in my heart… All of this is her fault.” He said sadly.

“I see. You blame her?” Giles asked.

“Course I blame her.” Spike said, downing the last of his beer.

“You’re angry with her.” Giles stated.

“Yes!” Spike said quickly. Then he shook his head and sighed. “No. I still love her. That’s the worst part. She hates me, and I still love her. She probably doesn’t even miss me.” He said sadly.

Giles knew for a fact that Buffy was miserable without him. He wondered what he should say. Should he tell him the truth? Tell him to go home and work it out with her? Would Buffy want that? Spike clearly had changed. Buffy had worried about what he would do, and it was clear to Giles that her worries were unfounded at this point. He looked at Spike.

“She does miss you. Terribly, in fact. I saw her recently.” Giles admitted.

“You saw her?” Spike asked interestedly.

“Yes, at the wedding.”

“They actually went through with it, huh?” Spike asked, shaking his head. Then he looked at Giles again. “You think Buffy really misses me?”

“Yes. I don’t see why, though. You’re rather bothersome if you ask me.” Giles said with a small smile.

Spike ignored his sarcasm and looked at him incredulously.

“She actually misses me?”

“Yes. I said that already. Perhaps you should call her?” Giles offered uncomfortably.

“Are you insane? She told me never to come back. Why would I call her?” Spike asked shaking his head.

“Well, she acted somewhat rashly. I think perhaps she’s had some regrets.” Giles said, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes.

He still wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do encouraging him like this.

“Regrets?”

“Yes.”

Spike thought for a moment, then shook his head.

“No. I’m not gonna call her. I’m glad she regrets what she did. Let her suffer.” Spike said bitterly.

“Do you really mean that?” Giles asked pointedly.

“No.” Spike admitted sadly. “But I can’t call her. She made it clear that she doesn’t want to see me anymore. She told me to get out of her town. I did what she asked, just like I always do. I’m so pathetic.” Spike whined.

“Yes, you are. Quite pathetic. The both of you. I don’t believe I’ve ever met two people more painfully suited to one another. As much as I loathe to admit such a distasteful thing, the two of you belong together.” Giles told him.

He couldn’t believe he was actually admitting such a thing. He didn’t want Spike and Buffy together. He’d been horrified when he’d found out. But the truth was, Buffy needed him. Plain and simple. She wasn’t the same without him, and Giles knew it.

This had to be about what Buffy wanted and needed. Not what Giles wanted for her. Spike looked at him dumbfounded.

“You think we belong together? I thought you hated the idea of us together?”

“I do. I find it quite distasteful and wrong. But the fact of the matter is, Buffy loves you. For whatever reason, which I cannot fathom. Her taste in men has never made much sense to me.” Giles said shaking his head.

“Do you honestly think she’d want to hear from me?” Spike asked interested.

“I would imagine so. She was in a rather depressed state when I saw her last. Dawn informs me she’s like that all the time now.” Giles told him.

Spike’s ears pricked up again.

“How is Dawn? Is she alright? Not getting into trouble?” He asked.

“She’s doing well. She’s a bit concerned for Buffy though. She tells me that she’s been listening to depressing music quite a lot these days. Barbra Streisand, I believe.”

Spike looked wistful for a moment. He smiled.

“Oh, Buffy. She never did have any taste in music…God, I miss her.” He said more to himself than anyone.

“Well, then, call her.”

“No. I can’t. I just can’t. If she doesn’t want to talk to me…I don’t want to make things harder for her.” Spike said shaking his head.

Giles was still astonished at Spike’s behavior. The fact that he was still putting Buffy’s wishes and feelings above all else, amazed him.

Spike then stood up from the table.

“Look. I can’t talk about this anymore.” He said hastily.

“Yes, well, it is difficult, I suppose.”

“I’m gonna head out. Next time you talk to Dawn, tell her I said ‘Hi’.”

“What about Buffy?” Giles asked curiously.

“No. Don’t tell her you saw me. I don’t want her to know.” Spike said quickly.

“Alright.” Giles said reluctantly.

Spike turned to walk away again. Giles wondered if should say anything else to him. Something inside, told him that he should at least know where to find him again. Just in case. In case of what, he wasn’t entirely sure.

“Wait. Where are you staying?” Giles asked him.

“Why? You wanna come over for tea?”

“No. I just thought maybe I should know where to find you.” Giles explained awkwardly.

“Why?”

“I-I may need your help from time to time. If you’d be interested?” Giles said, thinking quickly.

“Help with what?” Spike asked curiously.

“Business. Demon business. I still like to keep up on the supernatural occurrences around the city. Research, mostly. But on occasion there is some legwork to be done. I could use someone to gather information. You know, get things done.” Giles explained nervously.

“You want me to be your errand boy?”

“Not errands, information. If you’re not interested…”

“Would there be fighting involved?” Spike asked curiously.

“Possibly.”

Spike shrugged.

“Alright. It’s not like I have anything else to do.” Spike said thoughtfully. “You got a pen and paper?”

Giles reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small pad of paper and a pen. He handed them over.

“I’m staying in a flat not far from here. It’s not the greatest, but it’s better than a crypt.” Spike shrugged, writing the address down.

He handed it to Giles.

“I’ll be in touch.” Giles told him.

He watched Spike walk out of the pub. He folded the address and put it in his pocket. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was going to do with it. He finished his drink and headed home.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dawn lay on her bed reading a magazine. Buffy was out patrolling with the gang. She finally trusted Dawn enough to leave her without a babysitter. Dawn had protested that at almost sixteen, she was way too old to need someone with her at all times. She was enjoying the alone time when the phone rang. She picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Dawn?” Giles asked.

“Hey. You just missed her again. Buffy’s out patrolling.”

“Yes, well, good. I actually wanted to speak with you.” He explained.

“You want to talk to me? Why?” She asked curiously.

“Well, I have a message for you.” Giles said awkwardly.

“A message? What kind of message?” She asked, sitting up suddenly intrigued.

“You mustn’t tell Buffy about this.” Giles said seriously.

“Giles, what is this about? You’re freaking me out.” Dawn said frowning.

“I don’t mean to ‘freak you out’.” Giles said uncomfortably. “This is about Spike actually.”

“Spike? Oh my god! What about him?” She asked excitedly.

“I’ve seen him. Spoken to him. Last night, actually.”

“You have? He’s in England? What did he say? Is he okay?” She asked excitedly.

“Calm down, Dawn. First off, he’s fine. He told me that he’s been, well, behaving himself. He says that he hasn’t fed on a human since he left.” Giles explained.

“You believed, him right?”

“Yes. I must say that I did. He had no reason to lie to me.”

“I knew he wouldn’t go back to being evil.” Dawn said happily.

“I must say, I found it rather surprising.” Giles said, scratching his head.

“I don’t. You just don’t know him like I do.”

“Yes, well, that’s true.” Giles agreed reluctantly.

“Did he say anything else? Did he ask about me?”

“Yes. He wanted me to send his regards to you.”

“What about Buffy?” Dawn asked.

“No. He told me not to tell her anything. That’s why she can’t find out I’ve told you this.”

“Does he miss her?”

“Dreadfully so. But he’s abiding her wishes.”

“We need to get him to come home. This is stupid. They both miss each other, and Spike hasn’t done anything wrong.” Dawn pleaded with him.

“Yes, well, I seriously doubt that’s possible. He seems pretty resigned to the fact he won’t ever be going back there.”

Dawn thought for a moment. She was trying to figure out a way to fix this. This was her chance to make things right again. She leaned into the phone conspiratorially.

“I have an idea. Now, it’s kind of mean, but it’ll be worth it.” She said, forming a plan.

“Mean? I’m not sure I’m going to like this.” Giles said, scratching his head.

“Will you help me?” She asked.

Giles sighed.

“I’m not sure I should.” He said cautiously.

“Just hear me out.” She pleaded.

“Fine. What is your idea?”

“I want you to find Spike and tell him something happened to me. Tell him I’m in danger. Anything. Just make it clear that I’m in a heap of peril.” She said meshing out her plot.

“But what would that accomplish, other than upsetting him further?”

“I know him. If he thinks I’m in danger, he’ll come running. It won’t matter what Buffy says. He’ll come.” Dawn said confidently.

“Are you certain? It seems rather cruel, if you ask me. Not that I’m terribly concerned about Spike’s feelings.” He added offhand.

“Please. Just tell him. Make the story good too. He has to believe it. Once he’s here, I’ll take care of the rest.” She said enthusiastically.

“I’m not sure. What if Buffy doesn’t want him back?” Giles asked furrowing his brow.

“She does. Trust me. I know I can make this work.”

Giles sighed and nodded his head.

“I hope you’re right.”

“I am.” She said confidently.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next day, Giles reluctantly made his way to the address Spike had given him. It was in a dirtier part of town. Giles wasn’t entirely comfortable walking around there, even in the daytime. He only hoped that he wasn’t making a huge mistake.

He walked up the stairs to the second floor and found the correct door. He knocked softly and waited. The door opened a crack.

“Yeah?” He heard Spike ask curiously.

“It’s me. Giles.”

The door opened all the way and Spike looked at him with an amused smile.

“Well, well. You missed me already? I’m touched.” He said, waving him into the room.

“Oh yes, I can’t live without you.” Giles said wryly, as he walked into the sparse apartment.

Spike laughed and lit a cigarette.

“So, you have something for me to do? I’ll admit, I’ve been rather bored lately. Anything need killin’?” He asked as he took a deep drag on his cigarette.

“Actually, no. I-I need to speak with you. It’s rather important.” He said, taking a deep breath and hoping for the best.

“What about?” Spike asked disinterestedly.

“It’s rather grim news, I’m afraid.” Giles said seriously.

Spike’s attention was peaked. He looked at Giles seriously.

“What is it? Is it Buffy?” He asked quietly.

“No. It’s Dawn, I’m afraid. It seems she’s been kidnapped.” Giles lied, trying to remember the story they had prepared earlier.

“Kidnapped?” Spike felt his stomach drop.

“Yes. A powerful demon apparently learned of her Key status and hopes to harness her mystical energies.”

Spike looked at him with mixed emotion. Giles could sense sadness and fear. Also some confusion.

“Is Buffy taking care of this? I mean, is she on top of things?” He asked nervously.

“She’s trying. But it seems they can’t find her. And Buffy fears that even if they do, she won’t be able to take this demon down easily. She’s quite frantic.” Giles explained, feeling a huge pang of guilt.

Spike sat there quietly, lost in thought. This was a nightmare. If he had still been there, this never would have happened. He swore he’d never let anything happen to her ever again. He’d broken that promise the night he left. True, it hadn’t been his choice. But in his heart, she was still his responsibility.

“Why are you telling me this? Did you think I’d run back to Sunnydale and try and save her?” Spike asked Giles curiously.

Giles became flustered.

“Well, no. I guess not.” He said disappointed at Spike’s reaction.

Spike looked at him and shook his head.

“Well, then you guessed wrong. When do we leave?”

Giles looked up at him surprised.

“What?”

“I said, when do we leave? I’m not letting some filthy demon get his hands all over Dawn. Buffy might stake me, I realize, but Dawn needs me. I can’t let her down.” He explained sincerely.

“Well, I suppose you could go. I’m afraid, I wouldn’t be of much help. And I have some important business to attend to here.” He told him.

“You can’t get out of it? Buffy needs you right now. Where are your priorities?” Spike asked incredulously.

“Yes, well, I suppose I could rearrange some things.” Giles said scratching his head.

He wasn’t planning on Spike insisting he come along as well. This was unexpected. Until a few seconds ago, he was fairly certain Spike wouldn’t even agree to go. Dawn had been right about him. Giles hadn’t been prepared for Spike to give in so easily.

“Well, hurry up. Rearrange. We need get going as soon as possible.” He said, pacing the room.

Giles sighed. Apparently, he was not only sponsoring this ill conceived plot, he was actively joining in on the journey.

“I’ll make arrangements. We can leave tonight.” Giles sighed.

Giles walked out and headed down the stairs again. He rubbed at his temples.

“I certainly hope Buffy reacts favorably to this little ruse.” He sighed.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dawn looked at the clock in the kitchen. It was 9:00pm. Buffy was out on patrol alone, and Dawn was waiting for her to get back. Giles had called and said that they had just arrived in town. Spike was anxious to get looking for Dawn, and Giles had picked up the phone and pretended to call Buffy. Dawn gave him the phony location where she was supposed to be and Giles relayed the message.

He told Spike that Buffy knew where Dawn was, but that she was waiting for the right time to make a rescue attempt. Spike thought that sounded a little off. He figured Buffy would have charged right in there. But he figured that he didn’t really know all the details.

His plan was to get Dawn back, safe and sound before Buffy even had to see him. He just hoped that if she did see him, she’d be too preoccupied with having Dawn safe, to kill him.

* *

Dawn paced around, hoping that Buffy would get back soon, so that the timing wouldn’t be totally off. As if on cue, she walked through the front door. Dawn ran to meet her.

“Buffy! I’m so glad you’re back. Something’s happened.” She said, mustering up fake tears.

“What? What is it? Are you okay?” Buffy asked concerned.

“It’s Xander. Anya said they were out walking, and some demon attacked him. He took him away.” Dawn said frantically.

“What? Took him away? Oh my god.” Buffy said, feeling her heart drop.

“Yeah. I guess the demon was looking for you. He told Anya that if she wanted to see Xander again, she’d better send the Slayer to fetch him.” Dawn lied.

“I have to call her.” Buffy said, rushing to the phone.

Dawn ran after her and grabbed the phone.

“No. There isn’t time. You have to go now. Alone. He said you needed to be alone. I wrote down where he wants you to meet them.” Dawn said, handing over a piece of paper.

Buffy looked at her skeptically. Dawn was acting a little weird.

“You don’t think I should call Willow at least? This sounds fishy to me.” She said shaking her head.

“No. You have to go alone. Xander might die if you don’t. You need to hurry.” Dawn said desperately.

Buffy sighed and nodded her head. She was still having a strange feeling about this, but she had to take Dawn’s word for it. There wasn’t time to waste if Xander was in danger.

“Okay. I just need to get some better weapons.” Buffy said, rushing to her chest of goodies.

Dawn silently hoped it wasn’t a horrible idea to send Buffy fully armed to see Spike. But she had to believe that once they saw each other again, that everything would work out. Hopefully…She thought.

Buffy ran out the door and headed to the place Dawn had given her. Obviously, it was a trap. She knew that. It was probably really dumb to rush out like this. But Xander’s life was in danger. There was no way she was going to lose someone else she loved.

Buffy walked up to a crypt. This was the place Dawn had told her. She looked around cautiously. It seemed awfully quiet. Suddenly, she got a very bad feeling. Something wasn’t right. She shook the doubts away and pushed the door open, prepared to fight. The room was empty.

“Xander?” She called out, but got no answer.

The place was dusty and dark. It didn’t appear that anyone had been in there recently. She wondered if she had gotten the wrong place. She shook her head, as she walked around cautiously. Something was definitely up, but she didn’t know what.

Just then, the door burst open and she turned her head sharply. She raised her axe over her shoulder, and readied herself for confrontation.

“Dawn?” Spike shouted as he charged into the room.

He stopped short when he saw Buffy standing there holding an axe over head. Buffy’s eyes grew wide and she stared straight at Spike. Neither one said anything for a moment. They were too surprised that they were seeing each other again. Finally Buffy spoke.

“Spike?” She choked out.

He stared at her for a moment, just drinking in the sight of her again. Finally, he pulled himself together and managed to utter some words.

“Where’s Dawn. Is she alright?” He asked.

“Dawn? Dawn’s fine.” Buffy said, shaking her head confused. Then she looked at him. “Why are you here? Did you kidnap Xander?”

“What? Kidnap Xander? Why would I do that?” He asked, giving her a perplexed look.

“Dawn told me—.” She started.

“Dawn told you I kidnapped Xander?”

“No. She said someone did, and I needed to rescue him.” She said shaking her head.

They both stood there for a second, studying each other. Then their eyes darted around the empty room. Suddenly it dawned on them that they had been set up.

“Damn! He lied to me. That sneaky bastard lied to me.” Spike muttered irritated.

“What sneaky bastard? What the hell are you doing here, Spike?” Buffy asked, growing irritated and more than just a little nervous.

“Giles. He told me that you called him. He said that Dawn had been kidnapped.” He explained.

“What?” She asked incredulously.

“He said that she was in danger.” Spike explained.

“So, you just decided you’d come rescue her?” She asked incredulously.

“Of course. Just because you hate me, doesn’t mean I want Dawn getting hurt.” He said offended at her surprise.

Buffy looked at him completely astonished that he was standing in front of her again. It was like a dream. Or maybe it was a nightmare? She had no idea what to expect from him. Then another realization hit her.

“Wait a minute. Giles sent you here? You were hanging out with Giles?” She asked confused.

“We ran into each other. It’s a long story.” He said, shaking his head. “So, Dawn really isn’t in any danger?”

“No. At least, not until I get home and kill her for this.” Buffy muttered.

“They set us up. I can’t believe it. I was worried sick for nothing.” Spike said shaking his head irritated.

“You were really worried?” She asked curiously.

“Yes. Is that so surprising?” He asked defensively.

“Sort of. I thought I told you never to come back here?” She said, glaring at him.

He looked at her and shook his head.

“Right. You did. I guess I’ll be going.” He said, turning around to leave.

She watched him turn around and suddenly felt her heart leap into her throat.

“Wait. You’re just going to walk away?”

“Yeah. Is there some reason I shouldn’t?” He asked, looking at her seriously.

He wanted so badly to grab her and kiss her. He had missed her so much. It was torture being in the same room with her again.

“No.” She said, noticing that her hands were shaking. “I just can’t believe you came back.” She said softly.

“Don’t worry. I won’t break the rules again.” He said bitterly.

She watched him turn around again and begin to walk out the door. Stop him, Buffy. She told herself. Don’t let him leave again. Not yet…

“Wait.” She called out.

He turned around slowly and faced her. It took every ounce of willpower he had not to run to her.

“What is it now?”

“H-how have you been?” She stammered nervously.

“Just great. And you?” He lied casually.

“Fine. Perfect, actually.” She said, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

“Good.”

They stood there for a moment, just looking at each other. There was so much to say, but words escaped them both. Finally Buffy broke the silence.

“So, have you been enjoying your new life?” She asked.

“Oh yeah. I’ve been having a blast. You know, just like old times and all.” He lied.

“So, you did go back to the way things were before.” She said softly, feeling her heart pounding loudly in her chest. This wasn’t what she wanted to hear.

He moved over towards her and she raised her axe again protectively. It didn’t deter him from continuing his approach.

“You seem surprised. I mean, that’s the whole reason you sent me away. Because I’m weak and evil. Right?” He asked pointedly.

“It’s just that I thought—.” She started quietly.

“You thought what? I would stay good? That I wouldn’t start eating people again? I haven’t changed. I can’t. Isn’t that what you wanted to hear?” He said bitterly.

“No. That’s not what I wanted to hear.” She said, with tears running down her cheeks.

“That’s funny. I thought you did. I thought you’d be relieved to know that you were right. I’m a monster. I’m a killer. I can’t change. Now you can feel better about your decision to send me away, right?” He asked her heatedly.

“Just get out of here. You make me sick.” She cried angrily.

He began to laugh bitterly. She glared at him and gripped her axe tighter.

“Why are you laughing?” She asked through clenched teeth.

“You’re something else, you know that? You actually believe that I picked up right where I left off. You didn’t even hesitate. It didn’t take you two seconds to think the worst of me. But when I try to tell you that I’ve changed, that I’m good, nothing I say will make you believe me.” He said angrily.

“What are you saying? Did you or did you not go back?” She asked tearfully confused.

His mind games were wearing thin. She didn’t know what to believe anymore.

“What do you think?”

“Stop this! I don’t know what to think. That’s why I’m asking.” She said exasperated.

“You still don’t trust me.” He said without question. It was merely fact.

“How can I trust you when you won’t even tell me the truth?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. You wanted the truth?” He mocked her.

“Yes!” She said angrily.

“Fine. You want the truth? Here’s the truth. I didn’t go back to the way I was. I tried to, I won’t lie. Hell, I really wanted to. I mean, why not? I’m a vampire, right? But, I still couldn’t do it. Are you satisfied now?” He said irritated with her.

She looked at him and felt a tear fall down her cheek. She wiped it away. Everything was so confusing.

“So, you haven’t killed anyone?” She whispered.

He sighed and shook his head.

“No. Think about it, Buffy. Giles sent me here. Do you think he would have done that if he thought I was dangerous? Wake up. He trusts me and he doesn’t even like me. You were supposed to love me.” He said, throwing his hands into the air and beginning to pace.

She lowered her axe and relaxed her fighting stance. All she wanted to do was hold him. He looked so saddened and she wanted to make that sadness go away. But still she held back.

“Why?” She finally managed to choke out.

“Why what?”

“Why couldn’t you do it?”

“Because. I don’t know why. It’s just not what I am anymore.” He said quietly.

“Then what are you?” She asked softly, as tears spilled from her eyes.

He moved over to where she was standing, and reached out to her. She didn’t flinch away from him. He gently wiped the tears off of her face and smiled at her.

“I’m yours. I can’t ever be anything else.” He whispered.

She looked deep into his eyes and knew he was telling her the truth. She felt horrible for automatically believing the worst about him. At that moment, her reasons for making him leave, escaped her. She dropped the axe to the ground and jumped into his arms.

Their mouths found each others readily. Months of anger and despair melted away. She clutched at him and he held her tightly as they tasted each others lips again. It all seemed so right, like he’d never left. He placed gentle kisses down her cheeks, tasting her tears.

“I’ve missed you so much.” He murmured to her. “I’m so lost without you.”

She looked into his eyes and felt the sadness and desperation there. She felt exactly the same way, but she was still confused. A few months ago, she had been sure she made the right decision. Even though it killed her to do so, putting distance between them seemed like the only way. Now she just didn’t know what to think. She pulled away from him slowly.

“Spike. Please. It’s not that easy.” She said regretfully.

He looked at her confused. He thought that he’d finally gotten through to her and now she was still fighting it. It didn’t make sense.

“Yes it is. Buffy, come on. I’ve been miserable without you. And I know you’ve been miserable without me.” He said, grasping her shoulders.

“I know. I have been. Everyday, I expect it to get easier and it doesn’t. But my reasons still haven’t changed.” She said tearfully.

“It still isn’t enough for you that I’ve been good? I never even thought I’d see you again. But it still didn’t matter. I have changed. Do you even know what that word means? It means I don’t ever go back to the way it was. It doesn’t mean for just a little while. It means forever. What more can I do to prove that to you?” He asked her desperately.

She looked at him for a moment and shook her head.

“I don’t know.” She whispered.

Spike looked at her, then rubbed his eyes. He sighed and moved away from her.

“Fine. You know what? I’m done. I am finished jumping through hoops for you. I can beat you over the head with this until we both die, but the fact still remains. Either you trust me, or you don’t. It’s as simple as that.” He said finally at his breaking point.

She looked away from him, completely unsure of what to do or say. She did trust him. How could she not? He had never broken a promise to her before, and she knew that. It was still so risky. He was a vampire. He was what she was born to kill. But he was so different. She couldn’t deny that. And she still loved him. She couldn’t deny that either.

“I trust you.” She said finally.

He looked at her and smiled. Then he went over to her again and pulled her close to him. He touched her face gently.

“Then let me come home, Buffy.” He said softly.

“Spike…” She said, feeling her tears come again.

“Let me come home. This is where I belong. I belong with you. And you belong with me.”

She couldn’t let him go again. She loved him too much. It might be a mistake, but she just couldn’t let him go. For once, she didn’t care about what the right thing was. This was the right thing for her, and that was all that mattered. She touched his face and smiled.

“Welcome home.” She whispered softly as she kissed him gently.

He pulled back from her and smiled.

“Do you mean that?” He asked happily.

“Yes. I still love you, you know?” She said softly.

“You do?”

“I never stopped.” She admitted quietly.

He leaned over and kissed her softly. She pulled him tighter to her and wrapped her arms around his neck to deepen their kiss. Their mouths danced passionately together, but their kisses didn’t hold the same desperation as their earlier encounter. There was no need for desperation. This wasn’t going to end. Finally he pulled back and smiled at her.

“I am never gonna let you down. I promise you that.” He said seriously.

“You’d better not. Cause, this living without you crap? It sucks.” She said with a small smile.

He smiled at her and kissed her again. Then he pulled back to look at her.

“I love you. I never thought I could feel this way about anyone. I know I’m not supposed to feel this way, but I do. The day I met you, everything changed. Do you have any idea the kind of power you have? And I’m not talking about your Slayer strength. I’m talking about what’s inside.” He said, placing his hand over her heart.

“Spike…” She said looking away from him uncomfortably.

“I’m serious. You change people. You make them want things they never knew they could want. And the funny thing is, you have no idea that you’re even doing it. It’s not just me either. Look at your friends. You spent what? Ten minutes with them, and suddenly they wanted to help you save the world too? You have no idea how amazing you are. I love that about you.” He said seriously.

She felt tears rolling down her cheeks, and she wiped them away. They weren’t tears of sadness or conflict. They were tears of love. No one had ever said anything that touching to her before. She smiled at him.

“You’re pretty amazing yourself, you know that? No one has ever loved me the way you do. No matter what I do, or how awful I am, you’re still there. You were always there. You never wanted anything from me, except my love. And when I didn’t give it to you, you were still there. Waiting. Never giving up on me, even when you should have.” She said sincerely.

“I don’t give up easily.” He smiled.

“I know. I used to hate that about you.” She said with a small smile.

“Do you still hate it?”

“No. I’m glad you didn’t give up. I thought for sure this time I’d really pushed you too far.” She admitted softly.

He sighed.

“Well, truthfully, you did. I wasn’t ever coming back here. But then when I heard about Dawn, I just couldn’t stay away.” He told her.

She looked at him curiously.

“You love her?”

“Yes.”

She looked away uncomfortably. He noticed her discomfort and took her hand.

“It’s not like that. She’s your sister. She’s part of you. And she’s my friend. The only person who ever really believed in me.” He told her softly.

“I believe in you.” She told him sincerely.

“You do?”

“Yes. I’m sorry that it took me so long. I was just afraid. I’ve had to make a lot of hard choices in my life, Spike. Choices no one should have to make. They just seemed to get harder. I killed Angel because I had to save the world. I loved him. Do you have any idea what that did to me?” She asked him.

“Well, at least it didn’t take. He’s still prancing around.” Spike muttered. Talking about her love for Angel wasn’t exactly top on his list.

“That’s not the point. I had to kill him. After that, I was ready to give up. I was done making choices like that. But it happened again with Dawn. Everyone wanted me to kill my sister to save the world again. There was no way I was doing it. I was ready to let the world be sucked into hell, before I was going to make that choice. I was willing to die so I wouldn’t have to make that choice.”

“I know. I was there.” He said softly.

“So you see, the reason I wanted you to leave was so that that choice wouldn’t present itself. I will never kill someone that I love again. No matter what. I just won’t do it. And because of that, I thought it was best that you just leave before anything happened. I know it was wrong. I should have trusted you. But I couldn’t risk it. I’ve already lived through my boyfriend turning on me and trying to eat my friends. I didn’t want to do it again.” She said seriously.

“Well, that was completely different. I’m not Angel. That chip wasn’t a soul. I’m the same person I was before. It didn’t make me fall in love with you. I did that all on my own. And just because it’s gone, doesn’t mean I’m free to start killing your friends or anyone else.” He told her.

“But you are free.” She said shaking her head.

“No. You’re missing the big picture here, Buffy. Look at it like this. Can you kill humans?” He asked her pointedly.

“Yeah. But I don’t.”

“Exactly. Just because I can, doesn’t mean I will. It’s not like that. True, maybe if this had happened a couple of years ago, it could have been like that. But I’m not the same anymore. I know I don’t have a soul, which you seem to think is so important. But I have something else. Something even better. I have you.” He said softly.

She moved over to him and embraced him tightly. She leaned up and kissed him softly, as she ran her hand over his cheek.

“I love you.” She whispered.

“I love you too. Forever.” He whispered back.

“Do you really think we can make this work?” She asked.

“Yes. If anyone can, it’s us.” He said, holding her shoulders firmly.

“I’m so glad you’re back.” She said hugging him tightly.

“Me too. I can’t believe I actually missed this place. I even missed my smelly old crypt.” He said thoughtfully.

“It’s still there, just like you left it. Smelly as ever.” She smiled.

“You’ve been there?”

She looked embarrassed for a moment, then she smiled.

“Yeah. Sometimes. I guess, I just thought maybe one time you’d be there.” She admitted.

“Well, I’m back now. For good.”

“I promise not to run you out of town again.” She said with a sheepish smile.

He kissed the top of her head and smiled down at her.

“Good. Now that we have that settled, there are some other issues that need dealing with.” He said raising his eyebrow.

She looked at him confused. She was so ready to just forget about the last four months and move on.

“What issues?” She asked nervously.

“Oh, like that little Academy Award winning performance Dawn and your Watcher pulled on us.” He said with a grin.

She let out a sigh of relief.

“Oh. That. Well, believe me, they are gonna get an earful. I mean, I understand why Dawn did it. She’s nuts about you. But Giles? I have to say, I’m a little surprised.” She said shaking her head.

“You know, he told me that he thinks we belong together.” Spike told her.

“What?” She asked incredulously.

“Yeah. Course, we were in a pub when he said that. He may have been drunk.” Spike shrugged.

Buffy laughed. It was the first time she had truly laughed since he’d been gone. It felt good.

“Either way, I still can’t believe it. I think a firm talkin’ to is in order for both of them.”

“We shouldn’t be too hard on them. After all, they meant well.” He said thoughtfully.

“Yeah” She said absently.

“Maybe we should thank them?” He asked.

She then looked at him and smirked.

“Yeah...Later. First, it’s payback time.” She said wickedly.

“What?”

“I just want to have a little fun. I don’t appreciate being tricked like that.” Buffy said frowning.

“And you think I’m evil?” He laughed at her.

She smacked his arm and rolled her eyes.

“Well they had no idea what was gonna happen. This could have been very bad.” She protested.

“But it wasn’t. Dawn was probably so tired of listening to Barbra Streisand, it was worth the risk.” He said with a smirk.

She looked at him embarrassed.

“Who told you I was listening to that?”

“Giles. We agreed that you have no taste in music.” He teased her.

“Oh, and your music is just so good.” She said sarcastically.

“It is.”

“It’s just a bunch of noise. At least Barbra knows how to sing.” She said crossing her arms.

“I’m back for less than an hour and we’re already arguing.” He shook his head with a smile.

She smiled at him and jumped back into his arms.

“Isn’t it great? I’ve missed it. I didn’t have anyone to fight with.” She teased him with a sly smile.

“Is that all you’ve missed about me?” He asked, pretending to be offended.

“Yeah.” She shrugged. Then she smiled. “Well that and your incredible body.”

He smiled at her and sighed.

“Yeah. It is pretty incredible, isn’t it? No wonder you were so eager to get me back.” He smirked.

She rolled her eyes.

“You’re an ass.”

“Yeah, but you love me anyway.” He shrugged.

“Clearly, my bad taste extends beyond music.” She teased him.

“Hey, be nice, or I just might leave again.” He said jokingly.

“Hey. Don’t joke about that. You aren’t going anywhere. Even if I have to tie you up.” She said, pulling him in for another kiss.

“Ooh. Good idea. That could be fun.” He said playfully.

“Let’s get out of here.” She smiled as she rolled her eyes at him.

“Even better idea.” He said, draping his arm around her shoulder.

She picked up her axe and they headed out of the crypt towards her house. They walked silently, holding hands. It hadn’t taken any time at all for them to fall right back into their old routine. Being together just felt comfortable. Strange as it was, they knew that they were meant to be together.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dawn and Giles sat together in the Summers kitchen. He had come over after he was assured that Buffy was gone. He was desperately hoping nothing terrible had happened. Or that Buffy was going to despise him for the role he played in this. He sipped a cup of coffee slowly as Dawn paced around nervously.

“Don’t you think they should have been back by now?” She asked him anxiously.

“Well, I suppose they have a lot to work out.” Giles offered her hopefully.

“Yeah. Or they could be doing it, or something. It has been awhile since they’ve seen each other.” Dawn said thoughtfully.

Giles cringed at her candor. Then he sighed worriedly.

“Or they could be killing each other.” He muttered.

Dawn glared at him and rolled her eyes.

“Not helping Giles.” She groaned.

“Sorry, it’s just that we have no idea what’s going on. This was likely a horribly, misguided idea. I can’t believe I actually partook in such a thing.” He sighed.

“Think positive.” She said with a worried smile.

She was beginning to think this whole thing was crazy too. Buffy was going to kill her. She knew that. But she wanted this to work so bad, that she was willing to risk it. Just then, she heard the front door open. Dawn and Giles looked at each other frantically.

“Oh my god! Someone’s here.” Dawn said suddenly panicked.

Her earlier confidence had disappeared and now she was just terrified of facing Buffy’s possible wrath if this didn’t go well.

“Well, I suppose we should go out there.” Giles said reluctantly.

“Dawn!” Buffy shouted as she walked into the front room.

“Oh no. She sounds pissed. You go out there. Tell her it was your idea.” Dawn said, shoving Giles towards the kitchen door.

“Are you mad? This was your idea.” Giles protested.

“But she won’t yell at you. She respects you, cause you’re all old and stuff.” She said hurriedly.

“Old? I am not old.” He said offended.

“I meant wise.” Dawn said sheepishly. “Please? Just go out there. I can’t face her.” She pleaded.

Just then, Buffy cleared her throat loudly as she stood at the kitchen door, listening to them. She was trying really hard not to smile.

“So you wicked little schemers are hiding from me?” She asked folding her arms across her chest.

They both jumped, startled at her voice. They also noted that she was alone. Obviously things did not go as planned. They both attempted to smile anxiously.

“Hello Buffy.” Giles said trying to be cheerful.

“Buffy. You’re back.” Dawn smiled widely, to disguise her nerves.

“Yes, I’m back. You tricked me. How could you do that?” She asked them.

“Buffy, I can explain.” Dawn pleaded.

“You’d better.” She said sternly. Then she turned to Giles. “And you? I am very disappointed in you.”

Giles suddenly felt like a five year old. He had honestly believed he had done the right thing, but obviously he was mistaken.

“Buffy, I am so sorry. I merely wanted to help you.” He told her shamefully.

“It was his idea.” Dawn blurted out.

“It was not. I simply followed you blindly.” Giles protested.

“You followed a fifteen year old girl blindly? I thought you had better sense?” Buffy said disappointed.

Giles looked away embarrassed. Dawn tried to recover the situation.

“We thought you’d be happy to see him. You’ve been all depressed and lonely. When Giles told me he saw him and that he was still good and all, I just thought…” Dawn tried to explain.

“You shouldn’t have tricked me. It was wrong. I was worried about Xander. And Spike was worried about you.” Buffy said pointedly.

“I’m sorry.” Dawn said quietly.

“Yes. So am I.” Giles said as he rubbed his temples.

“Did you think we would just run into each others arms and pretend like nothing changed?” Buffy asked them.

“Sort of.” Dawn admitted with a small smile.

Buffy stood there glaring at them disapprovingly. They shifted nervously and a small smile crept over Buffy’s lips. Then she ran over and hugged them both.

“You were right.” She said happily.

They were both confused and stunned for a moment. Buffy pulled away from them and smiled at them both.

“I love you guys. I mean, this whole thing was insane. You’re just lucky that it worked.” She smiled.

“Wait, you mean—.” Dawn started.

“I’m back, Niblet.” Spike said, as he walked into the kitchen with a large grin.

“Oh my god! Spike!” Dawn cried, as she ran over and jumped into his arms.

He held her tightly and kissed the top of her head. She pulled away and smiled at him.

“I can’t believe you’re actually back.” She said happily.

“I know. Big sis was kind enough to let me stay.” He smiled, looking over at Buffy.

“Does this mean you guys are back together?” She asked hopefully.

“Yeah. But I have to behave myself. So, don’t go corrupting me with your evil plots. You’ve already turned Giles to the dark side.” He teased her.

“It was a good idea though, right?” Dawn asked hopefully.

“Oh sure. Now that it was a success, suddenly it was your idea.” Giles scoffed with a smirk.

“Okay, okay. It was our idea.” She relented.

“Either way, thank you. Both of you.” Spike said sincerely, looking away from them.

He wasn’t used to thanking people like this. But he owed them both, big time, and he knew it.

“Well, I didn’t do it for you. I did it for Buffy.” Giles admitted.

“I know you did. That took a lot of guts. I mean, I know you don’t like me. You don’t think I’m a good enough for her. And you’re right. But, you put aside our differences and did a good thing. I admire that.” Spike said awkwardly.

“You do?” Giles asked surprised.

Spike shrugged.

“Yeah. But don’t go broadcasting that around town. I still have a reputation to protect.” He joked.

Buffy walked over to Spike and put her arm around him.

“Don’t worry. We can still pretend that you’re evil if it makes you feel better.” She teased him.

He rolled his eyes and leaned over to kiss her. Giles looked away uncomfortably and Dawn smiled. Everything was back to normal. She couldn’t have been happier. Finally, Giles cleared his throat.

“Well, I imagine you two would like to be alone. I’ll be heading back to the motel.” He told them all.

Buffy and Spike stopped kissing and smiled at him. Buffy walked over and hugged him tightly.

“I love you Giles.” She said sincerely.

“I love you too, Buffy. I hope that everything works out well for you.”

“It will. And Spike’s not the only one who admires you.” She said with a smile.

The emotion was threatening to embarrass Giles and he tried to push it away. He was just so relieved that it had turned out well. All he wanted was for Buffy to be happy.

“Thank you.” He said softly.

He then headed for the door and Buffy walked with him, leaving Spike and Dawn alone in the kitchen.

“So are you gonna stick around for awhile?” She asked as he opened the door.

“A few days, I suppose. I wasn’t intending on coming back here so soon. I guess, I should say hello to everyone.” He admitted with a smile.

“At least you’re getting some frequent flyer miles.” She teased him.

“That’s true. Spike owes me eight hundred dollars, by the way.” Giles said, with a smile.

“I’m sure he’s good for it.” She said with a sheepish smile.

“Right. I won’t hold my breath.” He laughed.

“Just think of it as an investment. You won’t have to buy me anything for my birthday for at least five years.” She smiled.

He smiled at her.

“Take care of yourself.”

“I will.”

She watched him go, and closed the door softly. This whole night had been beyond strange. She was so happy to have Spike back. She never thought she’d feel like this again. She walked into the kitchen and found it empty.

She frowned and wondered where they had gone. She peeked out the back door and saw nothing. She started walking through the house and stopped when she reached the door to the garage. She smiled and opened it softly. Spike and Dawn were standing there leaning on Spike’s car, talking.

“I can’t believe she wouldn’t let you drive it. You have your permit, right?” He asked Dawn.

“Yeah, but she doesn’t trust me.” Dawn said rolling her eyes.

“That’s just because she’s a terrible driver herself. I’m surprised she got the car here in one piece.” He said shaking his head.

“Actually, Xander drove it here. She was too afraid she’d crash it into the garage door.” Dawn told him.

Spike laughed and shook his head.

“Listen, I’ll take you out. Just don’t tell her. I don’t want her mad at me already.” Spike whispered with a smirk.

“Too late.” Buffy said crossing her arms across her chest.

Spike looked up and smiled sheepishly when he heard her voice.

“Oops. Busted.” He said softly.

“Going behind my back already?” She asked raising her eyebrow.

“Well, you know me.” He shrugged.

“Dawn, why don’t you go in the house? I need to yell at Spike.” Buffy said with a smile.

Dawn looked at them both and tried to tell if Buffy was really mad. It didn’t seem like it.

“Okay.” She said reluctantly. Then she turned to Spike. “You’re still gonna be here in the morning, right?” She asked hopefully.

“Better ask Buffy.” He said crossing his arms, while never taking his gaze off of Buffy.

“He’ll be here. Just don’t wake us up early. I’ll probably be yelling at him all night.” She said, looking straight at Spike suggestively.

“I’ve missed your yelling.” He said smirking at her.

Dawn looked at them and rolled her eyes.

“Yelling? Is that what you’re calling it now? It used to be ‘talking’.” Dawn said shaking her head.

“Yeah, well, it’s been awhile. It’s escalated.” Spike said with a grin.

“Okay. I don’t need to hear anymore. Just don’t ‘yell’ too loud. I’m a light sleeper.” She said walking back into the house.

Buffy stood there looking at Spike with an evil glint in her eyes. She walked over towards him.

“So, am I in trouble?” He asked her.

“Big trouble. Not only did you promise to take my sister driving behind my back, you insulted my driving skills?” She raised her eyebrow.

“Well, pet, you are a horrible driver.” He smiled.

She approached him and pushed him back against the car forcefully.

“But I’m really good at other things.” She whispered into his ear.

He sighed contentedly. He had missed her so much. It was almost like being with her for the first time again. He wanted her so badly, he was aching.

“Yes you are.” He said, swallowing hard.

“Driving is boring anyway. I can think of other more interesting things to do in the car.” She said, biting his earlobe.

That’s it. He was going explode. She was driving him crazy. He grabbed her arms and whirled her around, pinning her against the car. He crushed his mouth to hers roughly. Months of frustration and despair melted away in an instant.

As he kissed her, her hand reached back to open the back door of the car. Once it was open, she broke away from him and looked at the door suggestively. He smiled. She was always surprising him. She took his hand and they crawled inside the car together.

He shut the door and climbed on top of her. He leaned down and began kissing her again.

“I’ve always wanted to do this.” She smiled, as he kissed her.

“Me too.” He said hungrily, kissing her harder.

His hands roamed down her body greedily. He had missed the feel of her beneath him so much. He missed her softness and warmth. Most of all, he just missed her. He felt her hands slide under his shirt and he shuddered at her touch. Suddenly, he was overtaken with the need to feel her skin touching his.

He sat up and peeled his duster off. Then he ripped his shirt over his head, and tossed it to the floor. He then, reached down and pulled hers off as well. She yanked him down to her again, and he felt the blissful contact he was so desperate for.

It wasn’t long before they were both completely divested of their clothes. They needed each other so much, they couldn’t wait. For once, taking their time wasn’t an option.

“I missed you so much.” She whispered to him softly, as he kissed her neck.

“I need you.” He whispered back.

“Then take me.” She said with a smile.

He smiled at her and obliged her wishes. She felt him slide his way inside of her and they both shivered. It was almost too much. They had been denied this for so long, that it was almost too hard to hold back.

His movements were slow and gentle, in sharp contrast to the urgency that they felt moments before. He wanted to savor the feel of her body again. He wanted to reclaim what he thought he’d lost forever.

She wrapped her legs around him, trying to pull him closer. She clutched him tightly, never wanting to let him go again. Soon, she felt her desire building until she couldn’t hold on.

“Spike, I love you.” She cried out softly, as she felt herself fall over the edge.

He joined her over that edge and placed kisses down the side of her face as he collapsed on top of her.

They held each other tightly and they tried to find a comfortable position in the cramped backseat. He ran his finger over her shoulder lightly, and leaned down to kiss it gently.

“That was fun.” He whispered with a grin.

“Yeah. It was.” She said thoughtfully.

“It’s not exactly the most romantic place.” He said, peering around the car.

“Sure it is. We’ve got you, and me, and nakedness. That’s pretty romantic.” She smiled.

“You’re easy to please, you know that?” He said kissing her softly.

“I’m just glad you’re back. The backseat of this car isn’t nearly as romantic when you’re not here with me.” She said softly.

“You spent time in here?”

She smiled sheepishly.

“Yeah. Once I fell asleep back here. It wasn’t very comfortable. So I don’t recommend it.”

He looked at her lovingly. Obviously his absence had affected her as much as it affected him. She had slept in his car, and spent time at his old crypt. He was almost surprised she was even admitting it to him.

“I wasn’t even sure you would let Dawn keep the car.” He said quietly.

“Yeah, well she was pretty pissed off at me already. I didn’t want to make it worse. Besides, I kind of like this thing. It’s worn out and old, but it’s still cool. Kind of like you.” She teased him.

“Hey. I’m not worn out. I may have a few miles on me, but I’m still in perfect condition.” He said defensively.

“Okay, you’re a classic.” She said rolling her eyes.

“That’s right.” He smiled.

She laughed and kissed him quickly.

“You know, maybe we should go back inside. I’m gonna have a seatbelt mark on my butt.” She said, shifting around uncomfortably.

He laughed and sat up to try and retrieve their clothes. The got dressed and climbed out of the car. The walked back into the house, holding hands comfortably. Once inside, they walked quietly up the stairs. They went into her room and closed the door.

They both undressed again, and climbed into bed. She snuggled close to him and he held her tightly. It felt so good to both of them, just being together again.

“I missed this.” She whispered to him softly, as she ran her fingers across his bare chest.

“Me too. You know, I’m probably never gonna want to go back to my crypt after this.” He said thoughtfully.

“You don’t have to.”

“Well, eventually I’ll have to go home.”

She looked up at him and smiled.

“You are home.”

He looked at her with surprise.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that this is your home. If you want it to be.” She added nervously.

“Are you asking me to move in?” He asked shocked and elated.

“Well, I mean, how else am I gonna keep an eye on you?” She said raising her eyebrow.

“Can I bring my chair over?” He asked with a sly smile.

She shook her head.

“No. Absolutely not. That thing is ugly.”

“But I missed that thing.” He protested.

“But you missed me more.” She pointed out.

“Well, you got me there.”

“So? Do you want to?” She asked expectantly.

“You have cable, right?” He asked with a smirk.

“Spike.” She said sternly, glaring at him.

He rolled his eyes laughed at her. Then he rolled her over and kissed her forcefully. He then looked down at her and smiled.

“Do you even have to ask me? Of course I want to. My home is wherever you are anyway. You know that. Home is where the heart is, and my heart is always with you.” He said sincerely. He leaned down and kissed her softly. Soon they were lost in each other all over again.

Dawn lay in her room, listening to the sounds of laughter and love from down the hall. She smiled. She knew they wouldn’t be quiet, but that was okay. She didn’t mind. It only meant that everything was good again. Everything was the way it should be. They were a family. A very strange family, that was for sure, but they were still a family.

Dawn fell asleep as the laughter died down. For the first time in months, their house didn’t seem empty and lonely anymore. Tonight the laughter had come back. Tonight their house had come alive again. It wasn’t filled with sadness and painful memories. It was filled with love. Just like a home should be. And somewhere deep down, Dawn knew that nothing could ever take that away again.

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