Disclaimer: I own nothing here except the story. The characters all belong to Joss and Co. I merely borrow.

Author’s note: This is the third part to my series Heart of Darkness.

Summary: Willow is becoming increasingly more daring with her magic. Spike is the only one who knows the truth, but will anyone believe him?

~Heart of Darkness~

The Calm Before…

Part Three-

Buffy walked slowly down her street, heading for her house. She had run most of the way from Spike’s crypt and was now so exhausted mentally and physically that she wasn’t sure she could even make it to her house.

This night had been one of the worst nights of her entire life. It was definitely right up there with Angel losing his soul right after they had made love. In fact, in some ways this was even worse. With Angel, she had known right away that he was evil and had turned on her. Spike had been a lot more subtle. She had no idea that he had betrayed her.

She should have known better than to put blind trust in someone like him. He wasn’t even a person. He was a vampire. A monster. She was such an idiot. She was a vampire Slayer and she had given her heart to not one, but two vampires. Apparently, she wasn’t very good at learning from her mistakes.

She finally made it to her house and opened the door quietly. She heard sounds coming from the kitchen, and she tried to sneak up the stairs undetected. She didn’t want to face any of them. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She just wanted to curl up in her bed and cry. All those little things she remembered enjoying about life, were lost to her now, replaced only with the despair of her life. A life she never asked for, and right now, she didn’t want again.

She walked into her room and shut the door. She pulled off her jacket and her shoes. She sat down on her bed and stared off into space. Finally, the torrent of tears that she’d been holding back, came flooding from her eyes. She curled up and clutched her pillow tightly as she sobbed.

A few minutes later, there was a soft knock at her door. It opened slightly, and Willow stuck her head in. She gave her a sympathetic look.

“Buffy? Are you alright?” She asked concerned.

“No. I’m not alright.” Buffy said blankly as she sat up and wiped her tears away.

Willow walked into the room and sat down next to her. She tried to put her arm around Buffy, but she only stood up and moved away from Willow. Willow felt her emotions catching in her throat.

“Buffy, talk to me. I know you must be hurting right now. But you did what you had to do. He needed to die. He was evil.” Willow said matter of factly.

Buffy turned around and looked at her incredulously.

“He’s not dead. I didn’t kill him.” She said surprised that Willow automatically assumed Buffy would just kill him.

“Why not?” Willow asked with some irritation.

“Because. I love him. Don’t you understand? I still love him.” Buffy snapped at her.

“Buffy, how could you still love him? He’s a killer.”

“I don’t want to talk about this. Please, just leave me alone.” Buffy told her sadly.

“But I’m your friend. I care. We should talk about this.”

“I don’t want to talk. Please, just go away.” Buffy said firmly.

Willow gave Buffy a pained expression. Then she got up and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Willow stood outside in the hallway and fought back her hurt feelings. This didn’t work out exactly like she had planned.

Buffy was supposed to kill Spike, and then Willow would be there for her afterwards. Buffy was supposed to be grateful that Willow had saved her from getting hurt. This was supposed to bring them closer, and now Buffy was still shutting her out. Willow took a deep breath and calmed herself down.

She headed down the stairs and out the door. She had some business to take of with Spike. She walked to his place and opened the door. She walked into the room slowly, taking in her surroundings. The place seemed empty. She turned around, and jumped back when she saw Spike standing right in front of her.

His eyes were blazing with anger and sadness. He looked crazed with grief and frustration. Willow smiled smugly.

“Spike. Is something wrong? You look upset.” Willow said with a smirk, as she taunted him.

“Oh no. Things are just great.” He said sarcastically. Then he shook his head. “You are really something, you know that?”

“I know. It’s pretty cool, isn’t it?” She said with a satisfied smirk.

“I’ve got to hand it to you. You fucked me over real good.” He said with a bitter laugh.

“I told you I would. But I am a little disappointed. I thought for sure Buffy would have dusted you. Oh well. This just makes it more interesting.” Willow shrugged.

“You really get off on this, don’t you? Hurting your friends?”

“You aren’t my friend, Spike.”

“No. But Buffy is. You completely devastated her tonight with your lies. Did you even think about that?” He asked her incredulously.

“Buffy will get over it. Besides, it wasn’t all lies. I mean, your chip doesn’t work anymore. Did you figure that out yet?” She asked.

He laughed and began to pace anxiously.

“Yeah. That was a nice touch.” He said sarcastically.

“It was, wasn’t it? The way I see it, you should be thanking me. I freed you. I gave you your life back.” She said pointedly.

“You’re good at doing that, aren’t you. But you’re right. I should thank you. Because now, you’re fair game. Without my chip, looks like I’ve got my first meal standing right in front of me.” He said evilly.

She laughed and shook her head.

“You would think that, wouldn’t you? See, you can’t touch me. No one can touch me. That’s the cool thing about magic. A little protection spell, and voila! I’m invincible.” She said with cold fire in her eyes.

He looked at her with an enormous amount of frustration and anger. Then he shook his head.

“You’ve thought of everything.”

“Yeah, that’s because I’m smart. But really Spike, I hope there’s no hard feelings. I mean, you are evil. What comes around, goes around.” She shrugged.

He looked at her and smiled.

“You’re right. And pretty soon, it’s gonna come back around to you. You’re really not all that smart, Red. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. With magic, there are always consequences. Always. As such a practiced witch, I’d think you’d be familiar with the Rule of Three. You know, what you dish out, you get back threefold? Maybe you just skipped over that part, when you were searching for your evil little mind-fucking spells?” He said to her pointedly.

Her taunting smile faded and she glared at him.

“Shut up. I haven’t done anything evil. All I’ve done is make things better. Everything I’ve worked for, you tried to take away. I just made things right again.” She protested angrily.

“This is making things right? Altering people’s minds and telling them lies?” He asked her incredulously.

“I don’t have to listen to this.” She said shaking her head and heading towards the door.

“The truth hurts, doesn’t it?”

She turned to face him again. Her expression was angry.

“You better watch your back, Spike. You underestimated me before. I wouldn’t do it again. Remember. I’m holding the cards now. I’m the one with the power. Not you. Don’t forget that.”

“Oh, I won’t. But sooner or later, you will fall. It’s inevitable. You’ll get what’s coming to you. I guarantee it.” He said bitterly, getting into her face.

“We’ll see.” She said calmly. Then she sighed. “I better get going now. Buffy’s real upset. She needs me. A true friends work is never done.” She said with a large smile.

She turned around and he watched her leave. He was seething with frustration. He had never actually wanted to kill someone as badly as he wanted to kill her right now. She had completely ruined his life, and Buffy’s life. There was no telling the other things she’d already done that he didn’t know about. Or the things she was going to do next. And the worst part was, no one would ever believe him.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Two weeks went by and Buffy was trying very hard to pull herself together. She hadn’t seen Spike at all, so she figured he had listened to her when she told him to stay away. Her heart still ached for him, and she tried to remember that he had lied. He wasn’t the person she thought he was. But it still hurt. She still found herself wanting to see him and talk to him like before.

And much to everyone else’s dismay, Buffy was back to being quiet and withdrawn. She didn’t want to talk to anyone else, and when she did talk, it was only about business. Willow was quietly seething once again. She had expected Buffy to confide in her now. She was the one who had alerted her to Spike betrayal, and yet Buffy didn’t seem thankful at all.

This got under Willow’s skin immensely, but she tried to give Buffy her space. Her patience was wearing thin though. Willow only wanted things to be like they were before. She wanted things back to normal. Like the way they were before Buffy died.

They used to be so close and Buffy would tell her everything. Willow missed the times when it used to be just her and Buffy and Xander. Things seemed so much better then. Now, things were complicated. Life was complicated. She had tried to make things easier for everyone, but it didn’t seem to be working. It seemed like everything was changing and Willow hated it. She wanted things back the way she thought they were supposed to be.

Willow walked into the magic shop and saw that Xander and Anya were kissing behind the counter. Willow rolled her eyes and cleared her throat.

“Hey guys.” She said, trying to get their attention.

“Oh hey, Will. What’s up?” Xander asked, pulling away from his fiancée.

“Nothing. Is Buffy here?”

“No. She uh, went patrolling. Alone again.” Xander said unhappily.

“Darn. I thought maybe we could all do something tonight. Maybe she’ll get back early?” Willow said disappointed.

“Well, Anya and I are kind of busy tonight anyway. We’re having a little romantic thing.” He said smiling at Anya.

She smiled back.

“Yes. We’re going to have sex and then pick out wedding invitations.” Anya smiled happily.

“Sounds like fun.” Willow said rolling her eyes.

“Where’s Tara?” Xander asked, noticing Willow seemed lonely.

“She’s at home. She’s not feeling well.” Willow lied.

The truth was Tara was annoying her. She had enjoyed the attention she was giving her at first. But now her fawning was getting boring. Willow wondered if she should try and alter the spell she had done. She had wanted Tara to trust her completely, but instead it had made her mindless and stupid. Willow wasn’t happy with it. She figured she’d try and fix it later. But tonight, she had just wanted to get away and hang out with her friends.

“Maybe we could do something tomorrow night?” Willow asked hopefully.

“Sure.” Xander said with a smile.

“Um, no. Sweetie, we have to meet with the wedding coordinator tomorrow night.” Anya chimed in.

“Oh right. Forgot. Maybe the next day?” Xander offered.

“We have that thing with the caterer.” Anya said reminding him.

Xander smiled nervously.

“Okay. Looks like I’m all booked up until the end of time. Sorry Will. We’ll do something soon. I promise. We’ll get Buffy and force her to have fun.” Xander said, trying to make Willow feel better.

It wasn’t working. It seemed like everyone had something better to do than be with her. She felt completely shut out of everyone’s life.

“Never mind. It was a bad idea anyway.” She mumbled, trying to disguise her hurt feelings.

She got up and went into the back room. Xander watched her walk dejectedly away and felt bad. He went into the back room after her. He saw her leaning against the wall crying softly.

“Hey. What’s wrong?” He asked concerned about her.

“Nothing…Everything. It seems like no one has time for me anymore, Xander. I feel left out. Abandoned.” She said sadly.

“Come on. That’s not true. You aren’t abandoned. I’m here, aren’t I?”

“It’s not the same, Xander. Nothings the same. Buffy’s always depressed and won’t talk to me. All you ever do is suck face with Anya and talk about wedding invitations. Giles is gone. I mean what happened to us?” She asked wiping her tears away.

“Willow, it’s called growing up. It’s one of those pesky little facts of life.” He told her with a sympathetic smile.

“Well it sucks and I don’t like it. I just want things to be the way they used to be.”

“I know. But they can’t be. Believe me, I fought this whole growing up thing tooth and nail. But it still happens. I mean you have to face it. People change. They grow up. They grow apart.” He explained.

She looked at him surprised at his last statement.

“Grow apart? You think we’ve grown apart? I mean, we were supposed to be friends forever. The three of us. The original Scooby gang. We can’t grow apart.” She said anxiously.

“Calm down, Will. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just, this isn’t high school. I mean, on top of fighting monsters on a nightly basis, we’ve all got real life junk that gets in the way now. Jobs, school, bills, weddings to plan.” He told her.

“I still have time for my friends.” She said bitterly.

“Look, I’m sorry you feel neglected.” He said getting a little irritated at her sudden harshness.

“Don’t you remember how close we used to be before Anya came along? Don’t you miss that?” She asked him hopefully.

“Sure. Sometimes. But I love Anya. She’s part of my life now. That doesn’t mean I don’t have time for you. It’s just less time. That’s all.” He explained.

Willow snickered and muttered under her breath.

“I still can’t believe you’re marrying her.”

“What?” He asked.

“I said, I can’t believe you’re actually marrying her. She’s so not good enough for you. She’s loud and annoying and rude. How can you even stand her? I wish she’d just go away.” Willow said shaking her head.

“Feel free to speak your mind.” He said irritated with her bluntness.

“I will. I’m tired of sitting back and watching the people I care about waste their lives with people that don’t deserve them. First you and Anya, the lovable ex-demon. And then Buffy and Spike. It’s wrong. You’re both insane. At least Buffy had sense enough to get Spike out of her life before it was too late. Unlike you.” She said harshly.

“Hey. Now you’re just being mean. What has gotten into you?” He asked hurt by her outburst.

“Nothing. Just because I actually speak my mind now, people don’t like it? You said people change. Well, I’ve changed. Maybe before I sat back and said nothing, but now, when something bothers me, I say it. Is that a problem?” She asked putting her hands on her hips.

Xander just looked at her blankly. He wasn’t sure what was going on with her, but he didn’t like it. He shook his head.

“You’re entitled to your opinion. I don’t share it. I love Anya. I’m gonna marry her. I’m sorry you don’t approve. But you need to get over yourself. The world doesn’t revolve around you.” He said harshly.

Willow glared at him but said nothing. He turned and walked out of the room leaving her behind to stew in anger and resentment. This was Anya’s fault. It was all because of her, that Xander was always preoccupied. It was just like it was with Buffy. Spike took all of her attentions. Well, Willow had changed all that. Maybe Anya would like to join Spike in the land of the broken hearted?

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Willow lay in bed that night staring at the ceiling. Tara was asleep, curled up next to her. Willow glanced over and smiled slightly. She still loved her, but things weren’t the same. She missed the old Tara. She sighed. She had other things on her mind right now.

She wasn’t sure what to do about Xander. He had seemed pretty irritated with her before. She hoped he’d get over it. She was still trying to figure out a way to get Anya out of the way. She had never liked her, and now she was like a thorn in her side. Plus she was nosy.

It was a close call when she had found out about the money Willow had conjured. Luckily, the spell fixed that. But it was still risky. Anya didn’t trust her and it might not be long before she got suspicious again. Plus Willow was just tired of always having her around.

She reached over and opened up her nightstand. She pulled out her amulet pouch and scooted out of bed. She made sure Tara was still sleeping, not that it would matter. She wouldn’t say anything anyway. Then she made her way into the bathroom.

She stood in front of the mirror and put her amulet on. She smiled at the way the iridescent glow lit up her face. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

Make her have a change of heart

Friends and lovers torn apart

Make the decision very clear

Erase the love

Disappear

She smiled at herself and took the amulet off. She wished she could wear it all the time, but she didn’t want anyone to see her with it. It made her feel so good inside when she was wearing it. It made her feel whole. When she had it on, it was as if everything became clearer. It made everything feel right again.

She walked back into the bedroom and put the pouch away. Then she climbed back into bed and snuggled up next to Tara. She whispered into her ear.

“I’ll fix you soon, Sweetie. I promise. I miss you.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The next day Buffy awoke to the sound of the phone ringing. It seemed like no one was answering it, so she reached over and held it to her ear.

“Hello?” She said groggily.

“Buffy. It’s me.” Xander said hurriedly.

“Xander? What’s wrong?”

“It’s Anya. She’s gone.” He said frantically.

“What? What do you mean she’s gone? Where’d she go?” Buffy asked, sitting up quickly.

“She left me. I woke up this morning and there was a note. She said she didn’t love me anymore and she couldn’t marry me.” He said quickly.

“What? That’s crazy. Did you guys have a fight or something?” Buffy asked shaking her head.

“No. We were fine. Last night we picked out our wedding invitations, had some pizza, fooled around, fell asleep, and then when I woke up, she was just gone.” He said with disbelief.

“Oh Xander, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say.” Buffy said softly.

“This can’t be happening. It just doesn’t make sense. I don’t even know where she went. Oh god, I think I’m hyperventilating.” He said feeling panicky.

“Calm down. I’ll be right over.” Buffy said comfortingly.

“I’m at the Magic Box. I-I thought maybe she came here to look at the money. She does that sometimes when something’s bothering her. But she wasn’t here.” He said sadly.

“Okay. I’ll be right over.” Buffy said sympathetically.

She put down the phone and crawled out of bed. She looked at the clock and noticed it was almost 9:30. She quickly threw on some clothes and put her hair back in a ponytail. She walked downstairs and found Dawn sitting on the couch in her pajamas watching TV.

“Hey Dawnie. Where are Will and Tara?” She asked.

“Willow said they were getting coffee and doughnuts.” Dawn said with a shrug.

“Okay. I’m going to the Magic Box to see Xander. I think he and Anya just broke up or something.” Buffy told her as she headed for the door.

“They broke up? But they were like totally in love.” Dawn said confused.

“I know. It’s weird.” Buffy said furrowing her brow.

“Must be something in the air. First you and Spike, now them? Love stinks.” Dawn said shaking her head.

“Yeah. It does.” Buffy said sadly. “Look, just tell Willow I’ll be back later.”

“Okay. Tell Xander I’m sorry.”

“I will.”

Buffy got to the Magic box and noticed that the ‘Sorry. Come again.’ Sign was still in the front window. She tried the door and found it was unlocked. She pushed it open and walked inside. She didn’t see Xander. She called out to him.

“Xander? It’s me.”

No response. She walked through the store and heard noises coming from the training room. She pushed the door open and saw Xander beating the life out of the punching bag. Buffy stood back and watched him for a moment.

“Feel any better?” She asked finally.

He turned his head to look at her. He hit the bag one more time and shook his head.

“No.” He said sadly.

Buffy walked over to him.

“Yeah. It doesn’t always work. I tried it too.” She said softly.

“Buff, I just don’t get it. I thought we were happy. I mean, yeah, we had our rough spots, but I really thought we were good. And then she just leaves? She doesn’t even tell me why?” He said, sitting down on the floor.

She sat next to him and put her arm around him.

“I know. It does seem weird. I mean, I really thought she loved you.” Buffy said sympathetically.

“I thought she did too.” He said softly, as he stared at a spot on the floor intently.

For several minutes they said nothing to each other. They were both lost in their own grief. Buffy’s wounds over Spike had just been reopened at the sight of Xander going through the pain she knew all too well. Finally Xander spoke.

“I miss her already.”

“I know the feeling.” Buffy said softly thinking about Spike.

“I mean, I know none of you really liked her. But she was special. I mean, she was just…She was just Anya. You wouldn’t understand.” He said shaking his head sadly..

“Nobody liked Spike either.” Buffy said trapped in her own melancholy.

“That’s an understatement.” Xander muttered.

Buffy pouted.

“Hey, be nice. At least Spike didn’t tell everyone about our wild sex life all the time.” She joked with him.

“Thank God for that.” Xander said with a small laugh.

Buffy rolled her eyes and sighed.

“The point I was making was that maybe no one understood Anya or Spike. But we did. And I know what it feels like to be so hurt and sad and have nobody understand.” She said quietly.

“Yeah. I guess you do.”

“I mean, when Spike and I broke up, none of you were surprised or even sad about it.” Buffy said quietly, remembering the hurt she was feeling.

Xander felt instantly bad. He hadn’t realized how much pain Buffy was going through.

“I’m sorry Buff. I should have been more sensitive.” He admitted.

“It’s okay. But, even if I didn’t really get Anya, I’m sorry she’s gone. I know how much you loved her. No one should have to feel that pain. It sucks.” She said with a small smile, trying to lighten things up a bit.

“Yeah, it does suck.” He agreed. Then he looked at her uncomfortably. “Don’t you ever repeat this, but, I kind of miss Spike. He was a pain in the ass, but sometimes he was okay.” Xander told her honestly.

Buffy looked at him shocked.

“You do? Okay, you really are grief stricken. Now you’re just talkin’ crazy.” She said teasing him.

“I’m serious. I didn’t like him, but I did think that he loved you. I’m really sorry that this happened.” He admitted sincerely.

“Me too. Guess he turned out to be a really good liar after all.”

“Yeah. He fooled me.”

“Apparently he didn’t fool Willow. She told me all along that he would turn on me. I don’t know how she knew.” Buffy said shaking her head.

“Willow…Man, she’s gonna jump for joy now that Anya’s gone.” Xander said with a touch of bitterness.

“What?”

“Just last night, she was telling me that she wished Anya would just go away. She said she wasn’t good enough for me. Guess she was right.” Xander said shaking his head.

“She said that? What is with her lately? She’s getting a little outspoken and bossy. I don’t like it.” Buffy said irritated.

“I know. I mean, who is she to talk? Like she’s got the best relationship. Tara’s been acting like a complete moron lately. She’s all, ‘Oh Willow! You’re just the coolest’, all the time. She’s starting to bug me.” Xander admitted.

“You’ve noticed that too? I mean, I thought it was just me being jealous cause I didn’t have anyone fawning over me anymore.” Buffy said with a pout.

Xander and Buffy both started laughing at that thought. He put his arm around her and squeezed her tightly.

“We’ll get through this, right? I mean, we’ve weathered worse.” Xander said to her comfortingly.

“Yeah. We will.” Buffy smiled.

What they didn’t notice was Willow standing just outside the door listening to their conversation. She saw them holding each other and laughing at her expense. She felt her heart breaking and her blood boiling.

This was not going according to plan at all. Xander and Buffy were supposed to turn to her now. Not each other. And they were laughing at her and Tara. This was not acceptable. This was not how things were supposed to be. She turned around quietly and slipped out of the shop before they ever knew she was there.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next morning Buffy lay in bed staring at the ceiling. She hadn’t slept much, and her body ached from lack of sleep. After she and Xander talked, she had spent most of the day feeling sad. She missed Spike. And seeing Xander in so much pain, hurt her all over again. She sighed and looked at the clock. It was after eight. She groaned and dragged herself out of bed.

She walked slowly down the hall and made her way down the stairs. She walked into the kitchen and saw Willow and Tara sitting at the table eating breakfast. Buffy looked at them.

“Where’s Dawn?” She asked.

“She left for school already.” Willow said giving Buffy a strange look.

“Oh. Right. I forgot.” Buffy said shaking her head. She definitely needed to get more sleep.

She went to the counter and poured herself some coffee. Willow looked over at her. Buffy seemed tired and drawn. It also looked like she had been crying at some point. Her eyes were all puffy.

“Are you okay?” Willow asked her with concern.

“Yeah.” Buffy answered blankly.

Willow looked at Tara and touched her arm.

“Why don’t you go upstairs, Sweetie? I need to talk to Buffy alone.” Willow told her.

“Okay.” Tara smiled.

“You don’t need to leave, Tara. I don’t feel like talking anyway. I’m gonna go back upstairs.” Buffy said to them.

“Willow? What should I do?” Tara asked, looking completely confused.

Willow looked at her and rolled her eyes. Tara’s subservient behavior was definitely getting bothersome. Then she looked at Buffy.

“Buffy, you look like something’s bothering you. Don’t shut me out.” She pleaded with her. Then she looked at Tara. “Tara, go upstairs.”

“Okay.” She said standing up. Then she looked at Buffy. “Whatever’s bothering you, I know Willow can make it better. That’s what she does. She makes everything better for everyone.” She smiled sweetly.

Buffy looked at her strangely.

“Why are you acting like that?” Buffy asked Tara curiously.

“What?” Willow asked defensively, trying stop Buffy from prying.

“I don’t know what you mean. I love Willow. I just like for everyone to know that.” Tara said with her plastered smile.

“Well, it’s creepy.” Buffy said looking at both of them.

After talking to Xander yesterday, Buffy finally decided to say something about Tara’s weird behavior.

“Tara. Leave us. Buffy and I need to talk.” Willow said standing up from the table.

Tara hurried out of the room and Buffy stared after her. Then she turned to Willow.

“Why is she acting like your loyal servant? Willow, did you build yourself a Tara-bot?” Buffy asked sarcastically.

“No. And my relationship with Tara isn’t any of your business.” Willow said putting her hands on her hips.

Buffy laughed bitterly.

“Well, you seem to think other peoples relationships are fair game, don’t you? I’m just spreading it around.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Willow asked defensively.

“Xander told me you didn’t think Anya was good enough for him. Now she’s gone and you don’t care.”

“He’ll find someone else.” Willow said calmly.

“And, you were against me and Spike from the beginning. You wasted no time alerting me to his betrayal.” Buffy told her.

“Would you rather I said nothing? I just wanted you to be safe. I wanted us all to be safe. Who knows what he’ll do next now that he knows we’re on to him? You should have just killed him. He was never good enough for you anyway. I told you he would hurt you. I did you a favor. Just like I always do. But do you ever thank me? No. All you do is complain about everything. I don’t know why I even bother.” Willow said angrily.

“What do you want from me? A ‘congratulations you were right’? You want a little medal or something?” Buffy asked harshly.

“It’s not my fault that Spike is an evil killer. I was just the messenger.” Willow said defensively.

Buffy looked at her and lowered her head. She was lashing out and it wasn’t really Willow’s fault. She felt badly.

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s just, you seem like you’re almost happy that he turned on me. Like you’re happy he’s gone.” Buffy said softly.

“I am happy. Why wouldn’t I be?” Willow said shrugging her shoulders.

Buffy looked at her surprised at her coldness.

“Maybe since I’m not happy about it. You’re acting like I should just shrug and say ‘Oh well’ let’s throw a party. Like he didn’t mean anything to me.”

“He didn’t belong with us. He was an outsider. Just like Anya. Now things are back to the way they were before. You and me and Xander. We’re your real friends. He tried to take you away from us. But now, you’re back. Things will be just like before. You’ll see.” Willow said with a hopeful smile.

Buffy gave her an incredulous look.

“You think things are just gonna be like they were before? Willow, nothing will ever be the same again.” Buffy said shaking her head.

“Why not? Because Spike broke your heart? God Buffy! Get over it.” Willow said shaking her head.

Buffy looked at her and shook her head. She tried to fight back her tears at Willow’s harsh words.

“Things can’t ever be the same because I’m not the same. You seem to think that I can just forget that I was dead for like five months. I am not the same Buffy I was then. I can’t be. I don’t want to be. So you’re the one who needs to get over it.” Buffy said harshly.

Willow glared at Buffy.

“So what if you were dead? You aren’t dead anymore, thanks to me. I saved you from Hell, Buffy. Me. I did that. No one else wanted to do it, but I convinced them. I’m the only one who loved you enough to do it. But instead of being grateful and enjoying your new life, you wasted it. You shut me and everyone else out, and turned to Spike of all people. You think he loved you? He didn’t even want you to come back. He told me he would have stopped me if he knew. That’s not love.” Willow told her angrily.

Buffy looked at her almost disbelieving the words coming out of her mouth.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. That is love. He loved me enough to leave me alone.” She said calmly.

“Yeah, alone in Hell.” Willow said pointedly.

Buffy looked at her blankly.

“You think you saved me from Hell? That’s funny. It feels like I’m still there.”

“You are so ungrateful. Do you have any idea what I risked for you? I save you and you tell me it was all for nothing? You act like you don’t even want to be here.” Willow said harshly.

Buffy looked at her numbly.

“Maybe I don’t.”

Willow threw up her hands in frustration, then looked at Buffy.

“Well, then maybe you’d like to go back? I gave you life. I can take it back.” She said coldly.

Buffy looked completely shocked for a moment. She stepped back from Willow and felt new tears running down her face.

“What?” She whispered, still surprised at Willow’s words and the tone of voice she had used.

Willow’s glare softened and she looked at Buffy sympathetically. She regretted what she had said instantly. She tried to save face.

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I-I just don’t know what to say. I don’t want to fight with you Buffy. I just want to help.” Willow said, attempting to reach out to her.

Buffy allowed Willow to touch her shoulder, but she didn’t look at her. Something was not right. Willow was not acting normally. She was cold and mean and nothing like the person Buffy knew. Buffy just wanted to get away from her.

“It’s okay, Will. I think we’re both just a little stressed out. Let’s just forget about this.” Buffy said turning to face her.

“Yes. I totally want to forget this. I’m sorry I got a little snippy.” Willow said giving her a sheepish smile.

“Me too.” Buffy gave her a strained smile.

“We’re still friends, right?” Willow asked hopefully.

“Forever.” Buffy said softly.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Later that afternoon, Willow and Tara had gone to class. Buffy was alone in the house for once. It seemed like lately there was always someone around, wanting something, or wanting to talk. It was nice and peaceful for a change. Only Buffy wasn’t feeling very at peace.

She lay on her bed staring at the ceiling. She had so many thoughts going through her head. Willow was not right. Something was definitely up with her. It was almost like she had some sort of split personality. One minute she was good old sweet Willow. And the next she was like some cold hearted stranger. It was unnerving.

And what she had said this morning had chilled Buffy to the bone. I gave you life. I can take it back… Those words swirled around in her head until she had to close her eyes to try and squeeze them out. Then she thought about Tara and how bizarre she had been acting lately.

It was like all of a sudden she had no mind of her own. It reminded Buffy a little of when Glory had brain sucked her, only instead of acting like a child, she was acting like Willow’s adoring fan. It wasn’t normal. Buffy realized that.

Then she thought of how Anya had just simply vanished. No reason, no explanation, no goodbye. It was strange and it didn’t make sense. Xander had thought they were happy, and suddenly she just decides she doesn’t love him. It was out of character for Anya. She was a confrontational person. Buffy highly doubted slipping away in the middle of the night was something Anya would have done. If she was going to leave, she would have made a spectacle of herself and then stormed out majestically. Something was definitely off there.

And then there was Spike. He had told her that Willow was messing with peoples minds. He had told her that Willow had made her forget things. And he mentioned some sort of amulet. Buffy didn’t know what he was talking about, but what if he was telling the truth? She hadn’t wanted to believe anything he had said that night, but now she wasn’t so sure. Things were starting to fit into place and it unnerved Buffy greatly.

But she still wasn’t convinced she could trust him. He had still lied. His chip wasn’t working anymore. She had seen it with her own eyes. He had slammed her against that wall, and she saw no painful reaction from him. He had lied to her about that, so she had no reason to trust him about anything else. But still, something about what he said nagged at her.

Buffy sat up and swung her feet around. She jumped off the bed and headed out into the hallway. She walked into her mother’s old room where Willow and Tara were staying. She pushed the door open and went inside. She glanced around, not completely sure what she was looking for. She decided to open up the closet and looked inside. She pushed some of the clothes aside, but saw nothing unusual.

She then turned around and walked over to the nightstand. She opened the top drawer and looked inside. She saw a small leather pouch. She went to pick it up and her hand bounced off of some sort of invisible barrier.

She frowned and attempted to pick it up again. The same thing happened. She closed the drawer slowly and sat down on the bed. Her foot hit something that was lying half under the bed. She bent down to pick it up.

It was a book with intricate engravings on the cover. It looked really old. She opened it up and found that everything was written in Spanish. Buffy had taken French, so she had no idea what any of these words meant. She scanned the pages looking for pictures. She came upon a drawing of a creepy looking man. Underneath the caption read ‘Tarkin’.

Something flashed in Buffy’s mind for a moment. Something familiar about that name. But just as quickly, the thought vanished. She continued to flip through the pages. She saw a drawing of a necklace in the shape of a heart. The caption read, ‘El Corazón de la oscuridad’.

“The Heart of Darkness.” Buffy said softly. Then she shook her head. “How did I know that?”

She closed the book with shaking hands and placed it back under the bed. She walked out of the room and went back into her room. She sat down on the bed. She remembered what Spike had told her. He had mentioned that the amulet was called the ‘Heart of Darkness’. And somehow she had suddenly known how to understand Spanish.

It didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense anymore. She was starting to wonder who she should believe. It seemed like everyone was lying to her about something. Her head was spinning. Finally she jumped off the bed and went to her dresser. She grabbed a stake and her jacket and headed out.

She needed to talk to Spike. She realized it was probably a mistake, but for some reason she needed to see him. He seemed to know more than she did at this point, and even if he had lied to her about the chip, she still felt like there was a chance he wasn’t lying about everything.

She came to his door and took a deep breath. She hoped that he wouldn’t do something stupid so she’d have to kill him. She wasn’t sure she could take that. But she would if she had to. She pushed the door open and went inside.

She looked around and saw nothing. She called out to him.

“Spike?”

She waited and he didn’t show his face. Maybe he left town? She wouldn’t have blamed him, but she hoped he hadn’t. But then again, it would make things easier for her if he did. Then she wouldn’t have to face the possibility of needing to kill him. She called out again, this time more loudly.

“Spike? Are you in here? Stop hiding and come out.”

“Why? So you can kill me?” He asked, as he materialized behind her.

She whirled around, clutching her stake in her pocket tightly.

“Stop doing that! I hate it when you sneak up on me.” She glared at him.

“Well, I hate it when you come to my home and try to kill me.” He said trying to disguise the raw emotion he was feeling. He couldn’t believe she was actually here.

“I’m not here to kill you. Unless you want me to.”

He laughed bitterly.

“You may as well. I’ve already lost everything.” He said sadly.

She tried not to let his sadness get to her. She still didn’t trust him. She tossed her hair back and tried to be strong.

“What do you know about Willow?” She asked finally.

“Other than the fact that she’s an evil bitch? I don’t know anything.” He shrugged.

“Tell me about the amulet. Is it Spanish?” She asked him curiously.

“Yes. El Corazón de la oscuridad. That’s what they call it.” He said, lighting a cigarette in attempts to calm his nerves. Seeing her and knowing how much she despised him now was making him crazy.

“I knew that.” Buffy said softly, looking down at her feet.

“What?” He asked her curiously.

“I knew that. I-I went into Willow’s room and found a book. It was all in Spanish. I saw a picture of a necklace. A heart necklace. I knew what it was.” She explained to him.

His expression turned from despair to hopefulness.

“That’s the amulet. The one I tried to tell you about. She’s got it. She’s using it. That’s why you can’t remember.” He said anxiously.

“Tarkin. Who’s Tarkin?” She asked, still trying to sort out her jumbled thoughts.

“He’s a wizard. He was the one that was trapped inside the amulet. Only, now he’s not. His power has been freed. Willow is using it now.” He explained as he paced nervously.

He hoped against hope that Buffy was coming around. Maybe all wasn’t lost after all.

“How?”

“She invoked his spirit. She must have found the spell. It’s probably in that book. When she invoked it, his dark power transferred into her.” He told her.

“You mean, like she’s possessed?”

“No. Not exactly. Once you invoke the spirit, you have the power. But you need the amulet to access it. It’s like a key.”

“Oh, great. Another ‘key’ issue.” She said sighing. He looked at her sympathetically.

Buffy was silent for a minute and Spike watched her face as she absorbed the information he was giving her. He was dying to know if he was getting through to her at all.

“But why would she do that? She was already powerful. I mean, she could raise the dead. Why would she need the amulet?” She asked quietly.

He looked at her sadly and tried to reach out to her. She moved away from him and he felt his heart break just a little more. He sighed.

“I don’t know why. But she got a taste for that power. It started to consume her. And I know a thing or two about this. Once you get a taste, it’s never enough. You always want more.” He said softly.

“What do we do?” She said softly.

“We need the amulet. Did you see the amulet when you were snooping around?” He asked.

Buffy looked over at him and shook her head.

“No. I didn’t find it.” She told softly.

“Damn. She probably has it with her. Guess I don’t blame her. It’s her lucky evil charm. I guess I’d protect it too.” He muttered.

Buffy looked at him and a light went on.

“Wait. She did have something. She was protecting something. It was in her nightstand. A leather pouch. I tried to pick it up, but there was some kind of barrier.” Buffy said quickly.

“That’s it. She keeps it in a pouch. I saw her with it that night.” He told her, tossing his cigarette to the ground.

“You saw her with it?” Buffy asked.

“Yeah.” He said giving her a strange look. Then he sighed. “Oh right. You don’t remember that.”

“No. I don’t. God…what did she do to me? Why can’t I remember?” Buffy said sadly as she moved to sit down in one of Spike’s chairs.

He walked over and stood in front of her.

“Buffy, she didn’t just make you forget stuff. She told you lies. Lies about me. She didn’t see me killing anyone, because I never did. She made it up.” He said, hoping to reason with her.

Buffy looked up at him. She wanted to believe him. She really did. She shook her head.

“But what about the chip? You didn’t tell me. You lied about it. How can I believe you now?” She asked sadly.

“I didn’t lie about the chip. I didn’t even know. Willow did that too. She deactivated it somehow. She wanted you to kill me. She wanted me out of the way because I knew too much.”

Buffy thought about her earlier conversations with Willow. She had seemed surprised and disappointed when Buffy hadn’t killed Spike. Buffy had sensed that right away. But she still didn’t understand why any of this was happening. She looked at Spike.

“Say I do believe you? Say I believe that you didn’t know? It’s true now. Your chip is gone. It doesn’t really matter how it happened. It’s gone. Nothing is stopping you now.” She said sadly.

“Yes there is. Me. I’m stopping me. I don’t even care anymore. I haven’t even gone out of this bloody crypt since you left me. All I’ve thought about is you and how I was gonna fix this. You have to believe me.” He said desperately.

She looked up at him and said nothing. She didn’t know what to say or to think anymore about any of this. She looked back down at her hands that lay limply in her lap.

“I don’t know who to believe anymore. Nothing seems real right now. I want to believe you, Spike. But I want to believe Willow too. She’s been my best friend for so long. I just don’t understand how she could do the things you say she’s done.” She said shaking her head sadly.

Spike looked at her and sighed. He wanted to reach out and hold her. He wanted to make this better again. He needed to feel her, but he held himself back.

“Buffy, I know it’s hard to believe, but you must know deep down, that I’m right. I mean, you’re here, aren’t you? You must have your own suspicions. Tell me why you came here today.” He said gently.

She looked up at him and he saw a small tear roll down her face. Her lip began to quiver and she looked down again.

“She said some things to me…Some awful things. She tried to brush it off, and I pretended it was alright…But…” She said softly.

“What did she say?”

“She said that she gave me life and she can take it back.” Buffy whispered, not even wanting to repeat the words again.

Spike felt his stomach tie in knots and his heart sank. He hadn’t considered that. If things got bad enough, she could do it. She could actually do it. He tried to hold back the tears that were brewing in his eyes. He took a deep unnecessary breath and let it out slowly.

“What?” He asked, still in disbelief.

“She said she didn’t mean it. Spike, Willow would never do that. She’d never…I mean that would be like killing me all over again. She wouldn’t.” Buffy said shaking her head, trying to make herself believe it.

“Right now, we don’t really know what she would do.” He said softly.

Buffy looked up at him and let her tears flow freely. She was so lost right now. Torn between two people that she loved. Willow was one of her oldest and dearest friends. She’d always been there for her. Through thick and thin. She was always so sweet and kind. Whenever Buffy need something, Willow was there. They were best friends.

Then there was Spike. Someone whom she had spent the better part of four years despising, but not anymore. She had fallen in love with him. And he had fallen in love with her. He had proved himself time and time again that she was the most important thing in the world. That he would do anything for her. He had been loyal, even when he had no reason to be. He had risked death for her more than once. She knew how deep his love and devotion ran. She knew it. She felt it.

She reached out her hand to him and he took it tentatively. She pulled him down to her and he knelt at her feet. She looked at him and drank in his utter despair at the situation. This wasn’t someone who was plotting against her. His eyes were full of remorse and concern. She remembered Willow’s eyes. Cold, hard, and unfeeling.

Buffy put her arms around his shoulders and pulled him close to her. He embraced her around the waist tightly. She laid her head down on top of his and cried.

“Spike, what am I gonna do? How am I gonna fix this?” She asked softly through her tears.

He pulled back and looked up at her.

“We’ll figure something out. You aren’t alone in this. I’m with you. I’m always with you. Understand?” He asked her firmly.

“Yes. But Spike?”

“What?”

“I need you to look me in the eyes and promise me something.” She said seriously.

“Anything.”

“Swear to me that this thing with your chip doesn’t change anything. I need to know that you won’t turn on me. That you won’t change back. I need to believe that.”

He reached over and took her face in his hands. He gently brushed the tears off her face and looked her straight in the eyes.

“I swear to you that nothing has changed. I am still the same as I was before. I still love you. You are still the only thing I care about. That won’t ever change. You’re safe with me. I need you to feel safe with me, Buffy. I’d never hurt you.” He said very seriously.

She looked at him and managed a small smile. She believed him. And she did feel safe with him. She had to trust him, because right now, she felt like he was the only one not lying to her.

“I love you. God, I wanted to hate you, but I don’t. I still love you, Spike.” She said softly.

“I love you too. Please say that we’re okay again. Please tell me that you’re still mine.” He said imploringly.

“I never stopped being yours.” She said softly.

He leaned over and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her gently and she pulled him tighter to her. They kissed for a minute and then they just held each other tightly, as they sat on the floor in front of the chair. He stroked her hair soothingly and took great comfort in the fact that she was back in his arms again. He truly had believed that this was over. But now she was back where she belonged. He had tears in his eyes, but he didn’t care. Things were right again. Almost, anyway.

After several minutes of silence, Buffy finally spoke.

“What are we going to do? I mean, this magic she’s using, it’s powerful. Like freaky powerful. How can we stop her? And the amulet, it’s got some kind of barrier around it. What do we do about that?” She asked quietly.

Spike sighed and shook his head.

“I don’t know yet. But I do know one thing. She can’t know that you came to see me. And she can’t know that we’re together again. If she suspects you’re onto her, it’s all over. She’ll warp your mind again, or worse.” He said, remembering her threat to take back Buffy’s life.

“Agreed. She can’t know. I’ll just keep pretending that things are cool. But we need a plan.” She said, pulling away from him and trying to gather her wits again.

“We need that bloody amulet. If we can destroy it, then hopefully all of this will end. I need that stupid book.” He said trying to recall what he had read about the legend.

“Which book? The one I found under her bed?”

“No. The other one. The one I brought to the magic shop. I left it there that night.” He told her.

“I don’t remember another book.”

He looked at her and sighed.

“Apparently, she wiped out all of your memories of the amulet and anything to do with it. Do you remember when we stole it out of that mausoleum?”

“No. I-I don’t remember anything about it. When did we steal it?” She asked curiously.

He smiled slightly and looked at her.

“You remember the night we first made love?” He asked, hoping she at least remembered that.

“Yeah. Of course.” She said, looking away from him.

“Well, it was before that. That night, we stole the amulet, then we went back to my place and well, you know the rest.” He said with a slight shrug.

She shook her head.

“That is so freaky. I remember being at your place, but before that, it’s just a blur. I remember riding your motorcycle, but I don’t know where we were coming from. I hate this.” She said irritated that her memory was so fuzzy.

“Well, you know about the amulet now, and that’s all that matters. We need to get that book of mine back from the shop without her knowing. Hopefully we can go from there.” He said hoping he was going to be able to fix this.

“Okay. We’ll figure that out. We can meet up later and break into the shop. I know you’ve done it before. At least there’s a plus side of dating a practiced thief. ”She said with a small smile.

“Yeah. But you know it’s not really stealing. The book belongs to me anyway.” He shrugged.

“Where did you get it?” She asked raising her eyebrows.

He looked at her and grinned.

“Well, I stole it from someone else. But it’s mine now.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Look, I need to get home now. Willow will be back from class soon. I don’t want her to know that I’m gone.” She said standing up.

He stood up as well and looked at her.

“I’m so glad that you came to me. I thought I’d lost you forever.” He said softly.

“I know. Me too. But I’m back. And if anyone can make this right again, it’s us. We make a good team, right?” She said with a smile.

“A perfect team. I won’t let you down.”

“I know. And I won’t let Willow down. She needs our help. I want my friend back.” She said seriously.

“You’ll get her back.” He said, hoping that it wasn’t a lie.

She leaned up and kissed him. Then she turned around to leave.

“I’ll be back later.” She said as she opened the door and walked out.

He watched her go and he slumped down into his chair. He held his head in hands and tried to sort his thoughts out. Buffy was back. He hadn’t believed it possible. The last few weeks all he did was sit in his crypt and despair over the entire situation.

He tried to find a plan to make Buffy believe him, but he hadn’t come up with one. He was afraid if he had tried to approach her, she would have killed him. Plus, he had been afraid of what Willow would do. He’d kept his distance, and hoped Buffy would wake up and come around. Finally, it had happened. He was so happy about that he couldn’t think straight.

But of course, this could all be short lived. Willow might get to Buffy again, and do something drastic. No one was safe right now. He tried to think positively. He only hoped that Buffy would actually be back tonight. He worried that if Willow found out, it very well may be the last time he ever saw her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy sat in her room staring at the clock. It was almost 2:00am. She had been waiting for Willow and Tara to fall asleep, so she could sneak out and meet Spike. She didn’t want Willow to know she was gone, so she’d have to be really stealthy.

She took a deep breath and started to climb out her window. She made her way down to the ground and headed off down the street. Willow stood at her bedroom window and watched Buffy walk off.

She shook her head and wondered where she was sneaking off to. Buffy had been acting a little strangely today. Willow worried it was because they had fought earlier. But Buffy had assured her that they were fine. Willow wasn’t sure she bought that, but she tried to have faith. She wanted to believe that things were okay. But now, Buffy was sneaking off in the middle of the night.

Willow sighed and moved away from the window. She probably just couldn’t sleep and decided to go patrolling. She did that sometimes. Willow told herself that she just needed to relax a little and stop worrying. Everything was going to work out. It had to.

Buffy made her way to Spike’s crypt and walked inside. He was standing near the door, waiting for her anxiously. He had been afraid that she wouldn’t come. He sighed with relief when he saw her.

“You made it.” He said with a smile.

“Yeah. Sorry it took so long, but I wanted to make sure Willow was asleep.”

“She didn’t see you leave, right?”

“No. No one saw me. We better go though.” She said taking his arm and pulling out the door.

They walked along in silence for a short time. Then Buffy turned to him.

“You think that we can really fix this?” She asked quietly.

“I hope so. The book will tell us more. At least I think so.” He said unsure of himself.

“What were you doing with this book in the first place? Were you planning on getting this amulet yourself?” She asked him curiously.

He sighed and shook his head.

“No. This book has all sorts of legends and folklore in it. I just like to read is all.” He shrugged.

“You definitely have varied tastes. I mean, ancient books on mythical folklore and trashy tabloids. At least you’re well rounded.” She joked with him.

“Just be quiet and walk faster. We need to get this over with.” He said rolling his eyes.

“Touchy.” She said with a sigh.

“Sorry, I’m just a little pissed off about this whole mess.” He said giving her a pained look.

“Me too. I guess I just deal with it by making stupid wisecracks. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s not like I don’t do the same.” He smiled at her.

They made their way to the shop and Spike got out his lock pick. He went to work on the door and Buffy stood guard, making sure no one was watching them. He got the door unlocked and they slipped inside.

“Where would it be?” He asked her.

“I don’t know. I don’t even remember it in the first place.” She shrugged.

“Where do you guys keep the books? The private ones that aren’t for sale?”

“In the back and some are up in the loft.” She said pointing to the upper level.

“Okay. I’ll check the back, you get the loft.” He said quickly.

“Wait. I don’t even know what I’m looking for.” She said exasperated.

“Right. Damn, I keep forgetting that your brain is all mushy.”

“My brain isn’t mushy.” She said with a pout.

He sighed.

“Just go up there and look for a big black book titled, ‘Legends and Folklore’.”

“Okay.” She sighed.

He headed off to the back and she climbed up the ladder. When she got up there, she could see that there were several books that appeared to be missing.

“Looks like Willow’s been up here more than once.” She muttered to herself.

She began to scan all of the books to find the correct one. After awhile, she didn’t see anything, so she came back down the ladder. She walked into the back room and saw Spike rummaging through a messy stack of books. He looked up when she walked in.

“This place is a mess. Doesn’t Anya bother organizing any of this?” He asked.

“No. She kind of sticks to the actual merchandise. If there isn’t profit to be made, she tends to ignore it.” Buffy said with a smile.

“Well, someone needs to organize this mess. Just tell her there’s some money hiding under here. That’ll get her attention.” Spike smirked.

Buffy looked at him and shook her head.

“Anya’s gone.” She said quietly.

“What?”

“She left. She didn’t even say goodbye. She just left a note saying she didn’t love Xander anymore.”

“She just left? What about the store?”

Buffy shrugged.

“I don’t know. Willow said she would take over.”

“How convenient.” He muttered under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s just, does that sound right to you? Anya just leaving like that?”

“No. It doesn’t. Do you think Willow had something to do with that too?” She asked.

“I’d bet money on it. If I had any.” He said nodding his head.

Buffy thought for a moment and shook her head sadly. She couldn’t believe any of this was happening. She looked at Spike.

“Are you almost done looking? I don’t think it’s here anywhere.”

“Yeah. I think you’re right. She must have gotten rid of it. Damn it! She’s a thorough little bint isn’t she?” He said irritated.

“She’s smart. Gotta hand it to her.” Buffy said shaking her head.

“Let’s get out of here. We’ll have to get the information somewhere else.”

They left the shop and headed back towards his place. Spike looked over at her.

“What about Giles?” He asked.

“What about him?”

“Maybe he should know about this? Should you call him?”

“No. I don’t want to. I don’t think I want him to know.” Buffy said shaking her head.

“But he has access to information that we can’t get. He might be helpful.”

“Let’s just see if we can find the information on our own. I don’t want to worry him. He’s got his new evil free life. I don’t want to bring him down.” She said sadly.

Spike nodded his head and they walked into his crypt. Once they were inside, they both just stood there awkwardly for a moment. Finally, Spike broke the silence.

“So, you wanna go downstairs? I could get you something to drink or eat.” He offered.

“That’s okay. I should probably go.” She said quietly.

“Right. Can’t let anyone know where you’ve been.”

“Right.”

They both just stood there staring at each other. Neither one knew what to say or do. Buffy knew she needed to leave, but her feet weren’t moving. Spike didn’t want her to get caught, but the thought of her leaving again made his heart ache.

Finally Buffy sighed and turned around.

“I love you.” He said softly.

She turned around to smile at him. She walked back over to him slowly, never taking her eyes off his. She jumped into his arms and kissed him hard and desperately. She’d missed his touch so much that it hurt. She finally couldn’t take it anymore. At this moment, she didn’t really care about anything else.

He returned her frantic kisses and swung her around and pressed her against the wall. He kissed her hard and trailed his lips across her neck and whispered into her ear.

“God, Buffy. I need you so much. I never thought we’d be together like this again.”

“Oh Spike…I love you.” She whispered back full of longing.

Her hands were roaming his body and she gripped the edge of his shirt and ripped it over his head. He looked at her full of fiery passion and grasped her shirt and yanked it over her head. Their lips returned to each other in a bruising kiss.

They were consumed by their need for each other. There wasn’t time for tenderness or taking things slowly. They had been apart for too long already. Buffy fumbled with his zipper and yanked his pants down as far as she could get them. He reached down and pulled her sweatpants and panties off and tossed them aside.

He pressed her against the wall and entered her quickly and deeply. She cried out at the feel of his body making the connection with hers. She had missed this so much. For last few weeks, she had felt dead inside again. And now she felt alive somehow. Being with him made her feel alive.

It didn’t take long before they both collapsed to the ground completely exhausted. They were both emotionally and physically spent. He sat on his knees and she was still straddling his lap. Her head was lying on his shoulder and she sighed softly.

“I missed you.” She said quietly.

“I missed you too.” He whispered into her hair.

“Everything will be good again soon, won’t it? We’ll make it good again.” She said, willing herself to believe it.

“We will. I promise.” He said holding her tightly.

He only hoped that it was true.

Part Four

The Storm

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