Disclaimer: I own none of the characters here. I just borrow them to make my imagination run wild. I have borrowed some ideas from future storylines, but nothing here has or will happen. At least not like this. Unless, I’m really psychic.

Author’s note: This is the beginning of a series called Heart of Darkness. I’ve been wanting to explore this idea for awhile, and now seems like the perfect time. This was written right after the episode “Flooded”, but doesn’t really mention too much of the actual story. This is how things would be if I ran the Buffyverse. The Spanish words I had translated from systransoft.com . So if they are wrong somehow, it’s not my fault! Hope everyone enjoys the story.

Summary: Set in season 6. Buffy is still trying to cope with being back in this world. No one but Spike knows exactly where she was all this time. Buffy finds herself withdrawing from her friends, and finding solace with Spike. In the meantime, Willow is feeling resentment towards Buffy for pushing her away. Can their friendship survive despite the obstacles put before them? And what will happen when Spike’s suspicions about Willow come true?

Rating: NC-17

~Heart of Darkness~

Awakenings

Part One-

Buffy sat at her kitchen table trying to eat a bowl of cereal. She wasn’t really hungry, but she knew she needed to eat something. She had struggled through another nearly sleepless night. She was trying to get back into the swing of things, but it wasn’t always easy. Most of the time, she felt smothered by everyone. She knew they were only trying to pretend that everything was normal, but everything wasn’t normal. They just couldn’t seem to grasp that.

Buffy looked up when she heard Willow walk into the kitchen.

“Morning, Buffy.” Willow said with a cheerful smile.

Buffy looked up at her and gave her a half hearted smile.

“Did you sleep okay?” Willow asked.

“Yeah. Fine.” Buffy lied softly, looking back down at her soggy, untouched cereal.

“I was thinking that maybe we could go shopping or something today. A girl’s afternoon? You know, just us?” Willow suggested hopefully.

Buffy looked up at her and shook her head.

“I’m all broke, remember? I can’t go shopping.”

“Well, we could window shop, at least.” Willow said with a sympathetic look.

“I don’t think so. But thanks.” Buffy said, as she got up and put her bowl into the sink. “I’m gonna go take a shower.”

Buffy headed out of the kitchen without another word to her friend. Willow stared after her and shook her head. She just didn’t understand what was wrong with Buffy. Since she’d been back, she’d been so detached from everyone. Willow knew that it must have been hard for Buffy being in Hell like she was, but now that she was back, Willow thought she’d be happier.

She also thought that if Buffy was feeling down, she would open up to her about it. Willow was her best friend, and the one who had saved her from eternal torment. Willow was hurt that Buffy was being so distant with her. She tried to tell herself that maybe Buffy just needed more time, but it had been a month now, and Buffy seemed to be withdrawing even more. Willow was starting to get worried.

Buffy finished her shower and was trying to pick out something to wear. Everyday things like picking out clothes and putting on makeup, seemed like such a difficult task to her now. She heard a light knock on her door and she rolled her eyes. Lately it felt like she had no privacy either.

“Yeah?” She called out.

The door opened slowly and Dawn peeked her head in.

“You awake?” She asked.

“Yeah. What’s up?” Buffy asked, trying to put on her happy face for Dawn’s sake.

“Nothing. I was just wondering if it’d be okay if I went to Carrie’s house today? She wants to go to the mall and hang out.” Dawn said, sitting down on the bed.

Buffy sat at her dressing table and looked at Dawn’s reflection in the mirror.

“I guess so. Just don’t spend too much money.” Buffy said, picking up her hairbrush, and brushing her hair.

“I won’t. Don’t worry.” Dawn said softly. She knew that Buffy was still stressed out about all of their bills.

“Have fun then.” Buffy said, turning around with a smile.

Dawn got up and headed for the door, then she turned around again.

“So, what are you going to do today?” She asked curiously.

Buffy shrugged.

“I don’t know. Probably do laundry or something exciting like that.”

“You should go out. You don’t ever do anything fun anymore, Buffy. I’m kind of worried about you.” Dawn said, with a concerned look.

“Dawnie, really. I’m fine. I don’t have time for fun right now. I have obligations. I mean, if I don’t do the laundry, you think the magic laundry fairy will come and do it for us?” Buffy teased.

Dawn smiled slightly and shook her head.

“No. But still, forget obligations for once. Just do something for yourself. I-I want to see you happy again.” Dawn said quietly.

“I am happy. Really. I’m just a little overloaded. That’s all.” Buffy said, reassuringly.

“Okay.” Dawn said, not convinced.

She turned and headed out the door.

Buffy eventually made her way downstairs again with the laundry basket on her hip. She headed to the basement door, when Willow came up behind her.

“You want some help with that?” Willow asked.

Buffy jumped a little, startled at Willow’s voice. She turned around.

“Sure. I guess so.” She said, as Willow reached over and took the basket out of her hands.

Willow smiled and put the laundry down.

“Watch this.” Willow said excitedly.

She then recited an incantation and puff of smoke swirled around the laundry basket. Willow then waved her hands over the basket, and the smoke disappeared. The clothes were now clean and folded neatly. Buffy stared at her with a strange look on her face.

“What was that? What did you do?” Buffy asked, astounded.

“Well, it’s just something I’ve been working on. See? The clothes are all done, and we didn’t even have to do anything.” She smiled proudly.

Buffy leaned down and picked up a t-shirt from the basket.

“Now the clothes smell like funky magic smoke.” Buffy said giving her a disapproving glance.

Willow’s smile faded and she felt herself becoming annoyed.

“Geez, Buffy. Picky much? I just saved you like three hours worth of work, and all you can say is the clothes smell funky now?” Willow said defensively.

Buffy looked at her, surprised at her tone of voice.

“Sorry. I guess there really is a magic laundry fairy.” She muttered softly, still confused about what just happened.

“What?” Willow asked.

Buffy shook her head.

“Nothing. Look, since the laundry’s done, I’m gonna go out for a bit.” Buffy said, heading for the back door.

“Wait. Where are you going? I could come with you.” Willow said, her tone changing again from irritation to hopefulness.

“That’s okay. I-I just want to be alone for awhile.” Buffy muttered, and headed out the door.

Willow stood there with her arms folded and a small tear rolled down her cheek. Buffy was pushing her away, and it was killing her inside. She wiped the tear away and headed back upstairs.

Buffy walked down the street, unsure of where she was actually going. Willow was beginning to worry her. She was acting so differently from the friend Buffy had known for so long. It seemed like Willow thought magic was the answer to everything now. Buffy had to admit, it was a little nice not having to do hours of laundry, but it was still strange.

Without even thinking, Buffy found herself at the edge of the cemetery where Spike lived. She didn’t come here often in the daytime, but today she felt compelled to pay him a daylight visit. After all, he was probably bored anyway. And she needed someone to talk to. She headed off to his crypt.

Once she got to his door, she pushed it open gently. It banged closed behind her, and the sound echoed off the stone walls. She cringed at how noisy it seemed to her now. She looked around and didn’t see him anywhere. She figured he was downstairs, so she headed to the ladder.

Just as she was about to climb down, he was climbing up. They both let out a startled cry.

“Ahh!” She said, jumping back.

“Ahh!” He said, shaking his head.

“You scared me!” They both said at the same time. Then they looked at each other and started laughing.

“Okay, this is scary. We apparently now share the same brain.” Buffy muttered as she rolled her eyes.

Spike climbed all the way up and stood beside her. He smiled at her.

“What are you doing here? If you’re looking for a little daytime patrol, I’m afraid I’ll have to pass. I have this strange sun allergy where I burst into flame.” He joked with her.

She smiled then shrugged.

“I don’t know why I’m here. I guess I was just bored or something.” She said casually.

“So you only come to see me when you’re bored?” He asked.

“Yeah. I mean no.” She said nervously. “Look, I could go. I mean, if you’re busy or something. I was just—“. She started rambling.

“Relax. You can stay. I wasn’t exactly busy.” He said smirking at her.

“Oh. Good. Okay.” She said giving him an awkward smile.

She wasn’t sure what was happening between them. Since she’d been back, it seemed like he was the only person she really felt okay with. At first, she just enjoyed that he wasn’t crowding her, and prying her for answers she didn’t have. And now, it just felt comfortable being around him.

“You wanna go downstairs? It’s a little more comfortable down there.” He offered her.

“Sure.” She said, following him down the ladder.

They walked into his newly furnished room. She had been down here only once before, but never really had a chance to take it all in. She sat down on the couch and he sat across from her in a chair.

“So, what were you doing?” She asked.

“When?”

“Before I got here.”

“Oh, nothing. Just reading.” He shrugged.

“Reading what?” She asked.

“Nothing interesting.” He said, looking down.

“Are you reading romance novels? You know, the ones with Fabio on the cover?” She teased him.

He rolled his eyes at her and smiled. He went over to his bed and picked up the magazine he was reading. He tossed it to her. She started laughing.

“Weekly World News? You’ve got to be kidding me.” She said rolling her eyes.

“I’ll have you know, that rag is very entertaining. Look at the headline.” He said with an amused smile.

“Mini Mermaid Found In Tuna Fish Sandwich?” She read aloud. “Oh please.” She scoffed.

“Look at the little picture. It looks like a Barbie doll stuffed into the mouth of a goldfish.” He laughed.

“You actually read this garbage?” She said giving him a strange look.

“Well yeah. It’s pretty hilarious. You should read it sometime. It’ll give you a good laugh.” He said to her with a smile.

He went over and took the magazine from her and went back over to his bed. He laid down on his stomach and began thumbing through the tabloid again.

She looked over at him and sighed.

“You’re not very good at entertaining your company.” She said, crossing her arms. “Aren’t you gonna offer me anything to read?”

He looked up and smiled at her.

“This is the only quality reading material I have right now. You’re welcome to come read about the Amazing Bat Boy with me.” He said, gesturing for her to come over and join him.

She rolled her eyes and headed over to the bed. She plopped herself down on her stomach next to him, and propped herself up on her elbows. She leaned in and began reading along with him. She suddenly felt all warm and tingly inside. Being that close to him felt a lot nicer than it should, she worried.

He didn’t really seem to notice their closeness, and seemed engrossed in the horrible reading material. She glanced over at him, and he looked up at her.

“What?” He asked.

“Nothing.” She said quickly.

“You were staring at me.”

“No I wasn’t. I was just glancing, not staring.” She said trying to explain herself.

“Looked like staring to me.” He muttered, as his eyes shifted back down to the paper.

She felt herself becoming a little flustered. She tried to push those thoughts away, and just read.

After awhile, their comfort level returned and they had taken to reading parts of the ridiculous articles out loud. They were both laughing uncontrollably. Buffy couldn’t remember a time that she’d had more fun doing absolutely nothing. Being with him made her forget about things that were unpleasant. It was as if when she was with him, she was a completely different person.

He was the only one she knew that didn’t walk on eggshells around her. He was also the only one who didn’t act like he was expecting anything. Everyone else wanted something from her. It wasn’t really their fault. It was just the only thing they knew. Her friends wanted her to be strong and brave and in control. Dawn wanted Buffy to take care of her. She felt pulled in a million different directions. Spike was the only one who seemed to have no expectations. With him, she didn’t have to pretend to be something she wasn’t.

“Do you have anything to eat?” Buffy asked him curiously. Her stomach was now growling since she hadn’t managed to eat her breakfast.

“Blood’s in the fridge.” He said with a smirk.

“Gross. I mean, actual food, that real people would eat?” She said rolling her eyes.

“What? You don’t wanna try something new?” He teased her.

She raised her eyebrows at him and sighed.

“I’d rather starve.”

“Suit yourself.”

“Guess I’ll just have to leave and get something. I’m hungry.” She said, sitting up on the bed.

Suddenly, the thought of her leaving made him unhappy. He sat up and sighed.

“You don’t have to leave. I’ve got some stuff over there.” He said, pointing over to his makeshift ‘kitchen’ area.

She got up and went to see what he had. She found chips, cookies, and a lot of alcohol.

“Not a great selection, but it’ll do.” She said, grabbing the chips and cookies and taking them back over to the bed.

“Sorry my menu isn’t up to par.” He said rolling his eyes.

“It’s okay. Right now, I could eat anything.” She said opening the bag of chips.

“Maybe you should tell me what you like, and I can get it. You know, for next time.” He said softly, hoping that there would be a next time.

She looked over at him and smiled. Sometimes he could just be so sweet, it made her heart beat just a little faster.

“Well, Diet Coke for starters. And pretzels. And something chocolate. And maybe some Cookie Dough ice cream. Wait, do you even have a freezer?” She asked.

“Yeah. It comes attached to the fridge.” He said with a small smile.

“Right. Is it big enough for ice cream?”

“One of those little containers. Maybe you should make a list?” He said with a small laugh.

She looked at him and shook her head.

“Sorry. Am I too demanding?” She asked.

“No.” He said sincerely.

She smiled, then looked down at the bag of chips. She began munching on them, trying to get her mind away from the fuzzy feelings she was having around him. She knew that she shouldn’t even be here with him, but she didn’t care anymore. He was like her sanctuary. She wasn’t ready to give that up yet. Maybe ever.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

A couple of days went by and Buffy was getting ready to go out on a patrol. She was looking for her jacket when Willow pushed her door open slowly.

“Hey. You going to patrol?” She asked.

“Yeah. Have you seen my black jacket?” Buffy said, absently looking through her closet.

“Um, no.” Willow said softly. “Listen, Buffy…I was thinking that maybe we should talk or something.” Willow said nervously.

“About what?” Buffy said, still too engrossed in her jacket search to even look up.

“Well, about you. And what’s going on. I mean, it seems like you’re avoiding me.” Willow said sadly.

Buffy stopped searching and looked over at Willow.

“I’m not avoiding you.”

“Yeah. You really are. Did I do something to make you mad?” Willow asked curiously.

Buffy looked at her and felt her stomach turn. Willow still had no idea where Buffy had actually been, and she wasn’t planning on telling her. Willow thought she had done some great thing, and Buffy couldn’t bring herself to admit the truth to her. She tried to push back her emotions and give her friend the reassurance that she needed.

“No. Of course not. I’m not mad at you.” Buffy said as sincerely as she could.

“Are you sure? I mean, it’s been a month and you haven’t even told me anything. I mean, I kinda thought you’d be all happy to be home.” Willow admitted.

Buffy looked at her blankly. Willow was searching for something. Compliments? Thanks for what she’d done? Buffy wasn’t sure. All she knew was she couldn’t give it to her.

“Aha! I found it.” Buffy said, pulling her black jacket from the back of the closet. She was purposely avoiding Willow’s questions.

She pulled the jacket on and headed for her door. Willow stopped her.

“Buffy. You didn’t answer me.” She said giving her a concerned, yet irritated look.

“Will, we’ll talk later. I need to go patrol now.” Buffy said, moving past her.

“Do you want me to come? We could talk then?”

“We’ll talk when I get back. I promise.” Buffy assured her, while silently hoping that Willow would be asleep when she got back.

As Buffy walked out the front door, Willow stood on the stairs and watched her go. Tara came up behind her and put her arms around her. Willow melted back into her.

“You okay?” Tara asked.

“Yeah. Its just Buffy. I mean, she’s so distant. She won’t even talk to me. I don’t get it.” Willow said sadly.

“She’s been through a lot. I think she’s still feeling a little out of sorts.” Tara said comfortingly.

“But it’s been a month. Shouldn’t she be all sorted out by now? I mean, she was in Hell and now she’s not. Why is she acting like life is such a burden? Like I’m such a burden?” Willow said, turning to face her girlfriend.

“She doesn’t think you’re a burden. She loves you. It’s just confusing for her, I think. We have no idea the sort of trauma she went through. And even if it was only a few months for us, it probably seemed much longer for her.” Tara tried to rationalize.

“You’re right. We have no idea what she went through, because she won’t tell us. She’s completely shut us out.” Willow complained.

“Just be patient.”

“I’m tired of being patient. Maybe I could do a spell to find out what she’s thinking? You know, get inside her mind. I did it before. Remember? I told you about that.” Willow said, thinking aloud.

Tara shook her head.

“No. You can’t do that. That’s like an invasion.” Tara protested.

“But it worked last time.”

“That was different. She was all catatonic and now she’s just quiet. You have no right to go into her mind.” Tara said, shocked that Willow would even suggest it.

Willow thought for a minute then reluctantly nodded her head.

“Guess you’re right. But still…”

“No. You can’t. Just give her some more time.” Tara said, giving Willow a small kiss on the cheek. “You wanna watch some movies tonight? Dawnie’s at friends house, so we have the place to ourselves.” Tara asked hopefully.

“Sure. I guess.” Willow said absently, still contemplating her idea.

* * * * * * * * * *

Buffy walked into Spike’s crypt and found him waiting for her.

“You’re late.” He said with a smile.

“I know. Willow cornered me. Plus, I couldn’t find my jacket.” She told him.

“Everything okay?” He asked.

“Yeah. I guess.” Buffy sighed, not really wanting to get talk about it. “You ready to go?”

“I’ve been ready. Remember, I was waiting for you.” He said with a smirk.

“Let’s go then. I’m in the mood for a good fight.” She said with a small smile.

“Now you’re talking.” He agreed.

They headed out to patrol, walking side by side. The moon was bright in the sky and gave them a good view of their surroundings. And the view told them that there wasn’t much going on tonight. After an hour and only one measly little vamp to dust, Buffy turned to Spike.

“It’s really slow out here.” She said disappointed.

“Yeah. You want to go home?”

“No. Not really. Maybe we should do one more pass through?” She said shaking her head.

“You’re not eager to get home, I take it.” He said, glancing over at her as they walked.

She sighed and looked up at the sky.

“You can tell?”

“Just a little. You wanna talk about it?” He asked curiously.

She shrugged and hugged her arms to her chest.

“I don’t know. Things are just weird there. I mean, it’s like every time I turn around, Willow’s lurking behind me. It’s getting a little creepy. She’s actually doing more lurking than you do.” Buffy added with a small smile.

“I don’t lurk.” He protested. She shot him a look. Then he sighed. “Well, not as much anymore.” He relented.

“Anyway…She’s just always around. I mean, she lives with me. It’s kind of hard to get away from her, you know?” Buffy said looking over at him.

“You still haven’t told her the truth, have you?” He asked quietly.

“No. I told you. They can’t ever know. I don’t want them to feel guilty.” Buffy said quickly.

“Maybe they should feel guilty? Willow especially. I mean, she has no idea what’s she done. She thinks she should be your hero.” Spike told her seriously.

“I know.” Buffy admitted softly. “But what good would it do to tell her the truth? I just wish she’d stop asking me why I’m not happier. I mean, I’m trying, but it gets a little tiring. My face hurts from all my fake smiling.” Buffy pouted.

Spike chuckled a bit at her last statement, then looked over at her seriously.

“Why don’t you just tell her to back off?” He asked her.

“I have. Sort of. I mean, I can’t just tell her to leave me alone. She’s my best friend.”

“She was your best friend. But now? Is she really?” He asked.

She stopped walking and looked over at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I just mean, if she was really your friend, she wouldn’t have done what she did.” He explained.

“Well, she thought I was in Hell. She did it because she loved me.” Buffy said seriously.

“Did she really? I mean, why would she think you were in Hell? Just because you fell through the portal? That doesn’t make sense. Don’t you think she should have tried to contact you first? I mean, if she has the power to bring dead people back to life, I think she could’ve done a little séance or something.” Spike told her shaking his head.

Buffy thought about what he was saying and it hurt. There was some truth to it, and it pained her to even think about. But she shook her head to dispel the thoughts.

“I guess she just didn’t think of it. I don’t know. All I know is, she’s at home expecting us to sit down and chit chat about everything. So I don’t wanna go home until I know she’s probably asleep. Is that awful of me?” She asked him with an ashamed look.

He laughed softly.

“No.”

They began to walk again and Buffy turned to him.

“Did you get any of that ice cream I told you about?” She asked with a small smile.

He looked over at her and felt a little embarrassed. He had gone out the same night and bought everything that she had told him she liked. He just wanted to be prepared in case she ever wanted to come over again.

“Yeah.” He admitted softly, not looking at her.

“Really? I was joking, but if you have some... I could use a little comfort food.” She smiled.

He glanced over at her and motioned for them to continue on to his crypt. Once they got there, they made their way down to his living area. She had to admit, the place was a lot less icky and a lot homier now. She wondered why he had finally decided to spruce it up after so long. Maybe she’d ask him that later.

She sat herself down on his couch and shrugged her jacket off. He peeled off his duster and tossed it over a chair. Then he went to the fridge and pulled out her ice cream and a can of Diet Coke. He went over and handed it to her, along with a spoon that he’d stolen from Denny’s. He’d actually swiped a whole set of silverware, just in case.

“Thanks. Aren’t you gonna have anything. I feel a little self conscious stuffing my face alone.” She told him sheepishly.

“We can share.” He suggested with a grin.

She looked a little uncomfortable at that notion for a second then she smiled.

“Okay. But get your own spoon. I’m greedy.” She teased him.

He went over to get another spoon and she watched him. He was actually a very handsome man, when she allowed herself to see him that way. He was muscular, but not overly huge. And he was tall, but not towering. He seemed approachable and not intimidating. Usually she was attracted to the big, burly sort of guy. But Spike was different. He had a completely different appeal she noted.

“Scoot over.” He said to her, jarring her out of her admiring thoughts of him.

She felt herself turning slightly red at the thoughts she was having until he interrupted her. She was still a little weirded out thinking of him with anything but hatred and disgust. Oddly enough, those emotions hadn’t crossed her mind once since she’d been back.

They sat side by side sharing the ice cream. He was still so in awe of her being alive that it made his head spin. And their relationship was so different now. Friendly even. She spoke to him about things that no one else knew. It was exhilarating and confusing at the same time. Sometimes he just didn’t know what to say or how to act around her. Mostly, he just let her take the lead and he followed her cues.

When she wanted to talk, he would listen. And when she needed distraction, he’d provide it. Other than that, he was clueless as to what to do. But he did know one thing, he was enjoying it.

“Isn’t this the best ice cream you’ve ever tasted?” She asked him with a mouthful.

“Yeah. It’s pretty good. I sort of like chocolate better.” He shrugged.

“You can never go wrong with chocolate either.” She nodded her head.

“I’ll remember that.” He said taking a metal note. Apparently chocolate was high on her list of guilty pleasures.

“So, you ever going home?” He asked her curiously.

She looked at him and frowned.

“Are you trying to get rid of me? You have a hot date coming over soon?” She asked.

He laughed at her and shook his head.

“No. I don’t. And I’m not trying to get rid of you. I just wondered how long you can keep avoiding this.” He added quietly.

She put her spoon down and turned to face him.

“I don’t know. I mean, I know I can’t keep hiding forever. It’s just easier this way.” She said softly.

“Whatever you say. I just hate to see you unhappy over this.” He said, looking away from her.

She looked at him and felt her heart skip a beat. He was always so concerned for her, but not in a smothering way. She knew it actually hurt him to see her in pain. She reached over and touched his hand softly.

“I’ll be okay. Willow and I will work this out eventually. I think I just need to hide a little longer.” She told him quietly.

“You can hide here if you want.” He offered her.

“I was hoping you’d say that. I sort of already planned to.” She admitted with a small smile.

He couldn’t help but smile broadly at that bit of news. Her hand was still touching his and he grasped it gently in his own hand. She looked down at their hands.

“I feel safe here.” She said almost inaudibly.

“You are safe here.” He said softly.

They looked at each other and suddenly the emotion in the air was so thick they could both feel it. Buffy’s heart was pounding loudly in her chest. He lifted her hand up and placed it against his cheek, never taking his eyes off of her. Then he kissed her hand softly. She felt herself blushing, but it felt good. He made her feel good.

She leaned into him and gently placed her lips to his. Her kiss was soft and gentle, and full of feelings that she hadn’t even truly admitted to herself. She pulled away from him slowly and looked at him. The look of astonishment on his face was apparent. She smiled.

“Thank you.” She said softly.

“For what?” He asked confused. He was still remembering the feel of her lips. Lips he never thought he’d feel again.

“For making me feel safe and comfortable again. I feel like I can be myself with you. No one else seems to know what to do around me, but you don’t make me feel awkward. So, thanks.” She explained, suddenly uncomfortable at the amount of feelings she was admitting to him.

“Don’t thank me. Truth is I have no idea what I’m doing.” He said softly, looking away from her.

“Well, for being clueless, you’re doing a pretty good job.” She smiled.

He laughed and got up to put the rest of the ice cream away. She was silently glad that he broke the tension by getting up. She was starting to get a little lost in the moment.

“So, got anymore tabloids to make fun of?” She asked, trying to lighten the mood.

“Just got a new one.” He said with a grin as he went over to his night table and picked it up.

She got up and laid down on the bed like they had done the other day. He joined her with the magazine in hand.

“What’s the headline this time?” She asked.

“Elvis is alive and just married an alien in Las Vegas.” He read to her with a chuckle.

“Oh this should be good.” She smiled, leaning closer to him to get a good look.

They read for awhile until Buffy found her eyes getting blurry. She was really tired. She still hadn’t been sleeping all that well, and now it was catching up to her. Before she knew it, she had dozed off. Spike looked over at her when he sensed that her breathing had become deeper.

“Buffy?” He asked her, nudging her slightly.

He got no response from her. He sighed and tossed the magazine aside. He sat up and tried to wake her again.

“Buffy? Love? Wake up.” He said shaking her gently.

It was no use, she was completely exhausted. He smiled and bent down to kiss the top of her head. She looked so peaceful while she was sleeping. He only hoped that she was peaceful, and not having any terrible dreams. He knew she had nightmares a lot, even though she hadn’t mentioned it recently. He reached over and grabbed a blanket and covered her with it.

He thought about getting up and moving to the couch, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to be near her and feel her beside him. But he didn’t want her to think he was taking advantage or her or anything. Things were all still very new, and he found himself not knowing what to do again. It was driving him crazy.

Finally he sighed and laid back down beside her like he was before. He picked up the magazine again and started to read it uninterestedly. Before long, his decision was made for him, when he fell asleep as well.

Several hours later, Buffy started to stir. She groggily opened one eye and noticed that she was not in her room. Then she felt the weight of something across her stomach. She looked down and saw Spike’s arm draped across her. At first she panicked, realizing that she had spent the night there. Then she found herself smiling slightly at the sight of the sleeping vampire. She sat up slowly, and Spike groaned.

“Wake up.” She said nudging him.

“No. I’m still tired.” He muttered, not completely aware of who was in the room with him.

“Spike.” She said firmly, shoving him.

He sat up startled.

“What?” He said irritated. Then he realized who it was that shoved him. “Buffy.” He said quietly.

“We fell asleep. How could you let me fall asleep? What time is it?” She asked him.

He looked over at the small clock on his table and sighed.

“It’s 7:00am. And I didn’t let you fall asleep. You wouldn’t wake up. I tried.” He protested.

“Willow is gonna freak. She was waiting for me. I have to go before she realizes I never came home.” She said jumping off the bed.

“Relax. She’s not your bloody mother is she?” Spike said rolling his eyes.

“No. But still. She worries enough as it is. This will just make it worse.” Buffy said, searching for her shoes that she had taken off at some point during their evening.

She found them and pulled them on quickly.

“I’ll see you later.” She said hurriedly heading for the ladder. Then she turned and smiled at him.

“I had fun last night.” She said softly.

Then she turned and headed up the ladder to leave.

He watched her go, then fell back onto the bed and sighed.

“God, I love her so much…” He muttered to himself.

He never dreamed he’d ever see her again, but here she was. And he certainly never dreamed she’d spend the night with him. Of course, it was a lot more innocent than he’d always fantasized about, but it was a definite start to something. What that was, he wasn’t sure.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy opened her front door as quietly as she could. She closed it gently behind her and turned around to head upstairs. She nearly slammed right into Willow who was standing right by the door. Buffy jumped.

“Will! You startled me.” She said out of breath from surprise.

“Where were you?” Willow asked concerned.

“Sorry. I, um, was patrolling.” Buffy said quietly.

“Patrolling? Until 7:30 in the morning? The sun came up over an hour ago.” Willow said crossing her arms and giving Buffy an irritated look.

“Sorry. Geez. I wasn’t aware that you were my keeper.” Buffy said half jokingly.

“I’m not your keeper. Buffy, I was worried about you. Y-you said that we were going to talk, and I waited up for you. Then you never came home. I thought something happened to you.” Willow said seriously.

Buffy sighed and felt really guilty.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out.”

“Where were you really? I mean, I know you couldn’t have been patrolling all this time.” Willow asked curiously.

“I was patrolling. At least for a little while. Then I sort of hung out with Spike for a little bit. I fell asleep.” She said, deciding to just try a little truth for once.

“You fell asleep at Spike’s?” Willow asked incredulously.

“Yeah. Look, it’s no big. I’m gonna go take a shower. Sorry I wigged you out.” Buffy said, moving past her and up the stairs.

Willow felt herself becoming increasingly agitated. She was so tired of Buffy ignoring her. Her feelings were beyond hurt. The fact that Buffy seemed to be spending more time with Spike was also a little unnerving. Lately, it seemed he was the only one she wanted to hang out with. That fact puzzled Willow and alarmed her. She also couldn’t help but wonder if sleeping was all that went on last night.

She’d had enough of waiting for Buffy to come around. Tonight, she was going to do the spell to get inside Buffy’s mind. She wanted to help Buffy, and the only way she could do that was to find out what was really going on. She knew Tara thought it was a bad idea, but it wasn’t like she was trying to invade Buffy’s privacy. She was just concerned.

That night, Buffy stayed in with Dawn. They decided to watch some TV. Buffy knew she needed to spend more time with her sister, and now seemed like a good time. Willow and Tara were in their room and Dawn and Buffy sat on the couch together. Dawn was flipping through channels trying to find something interesting to watch.

“Oh, this movie is totally stupid. But funny.” Dawn said, pointing to the TV.

“Ugh! Not this one. It’s all creepy.” Buffy said making a face.

“Weekend at Bernies is creepy?” Dawn asked.

“Duh, yes. They’re hauling a dead guy around to a bunch of parties. That’ s not funny, it’s weird. Doesn’t anyone believe in letting the dead rest in peace?” Buffy said sarcastically.

Dawn looked at Buffy uncomfortably. This subject was hitting a little too close to home. She flipped the channel.

“Yeah. You’re right. Movies about dead guys aren’t really that good. Let’s see what else is on.” Dawn said nervously as she continued to flip the channels.

“We have mating rituals of African Antelopes.” Dawn said pausing on the Discovery Channel.

“Um, pass. Maybe we should have rented a movie.” Buffy said thoughtfully.

“Yeah. I don’t really feel like watching TV anyway.” Dawn said, turning it off.

“What should we do? I mean, I promised you an evening of sisterly fun. So far it’s kinda falling flat.”

“No. It’s not. I’m just happy hanging out with you and stuff. You know, like we used to.” Dawn said with a smile.

“Yeah. It is nice.” Buffy said, smoothing Dawn’s hair away from her face.

“We could talk or something. I mean, if there’s anything you wanna talk about.” Dawn said, trying to open up the conversation.

“What should we talk about?”

“I don’t know. I mean, how are you doing?” Dawn asked softly.

Buffy looked at her and knew that she was still concerned for her. She put her arm around her reassuringly.

“I’m doing okay. It’s still a little bizarre, and I have my off moments, but I’m dealing.” Buffy told her truthfully.

“Was it really awful?” Dawn asked curiously.

“Was what really awful?”

“Being all dead and stuff. I mean, what was it like?” Dawn asked, knowing Buffy probably didn’t want to talk about it.

Buffy looked at her and wanted to tell her the truth. She wanted to tell her that death isn’t something to be afraid of. She wanted to assure her that it was nice and peaceful. She wanted to tell her that their mother was safe and happy wherever she was. But telling her that, would only let Dawn know that Buffy hadn’t been in Hell at all. She couldn’t let Dawn know that. Buffy took a deep breath.

“You want to know the truth? I don’t remember anything. Maybe that’s why it’s so weird for me. I don’t remember what it was like, Dawnie. Which is probably a good thing.” Buffy lied to spare her the pain of the truth.

“Oh… Really?” Dawn asked, somewhat surprised.

“Yeah, really. It’s like a big blank slate. And now I just need to start fresh is all. But I’m okay. Trust me.” Buffy said giving Dawn a hug.

Later that night, Buffy lay in bed trying to sleep. She thought about last night with Spike. She had felt so happy, that she had almost forgotten about everything else. And for the first time since she’d been back, she slept all night. And slept well. She didn’t even have any nightmares. Suddenly she wished that she was there with him now, instead of alone in her room.

Then she shook her head. She couldn’t believe she was thinking of him like this. Actually wanting to be with him. It was so weird, but somehow she just didn’t care how unnatural it was. In fact, there was nothing natural about anything in her life anymore. Just the fact that she was still here was about as unnatural as it got. She supposed certain things like being friends with your former enemy who was also a vampire, wasn’t quite as strange anymore. Finally she managed to fall into a dreamless sleep.

Willow lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Tara was fast asleep and Willow tried to maneuver her way out of Tara’s arms without waking her. She slipped out of bed slowly, making sure not to make any noise. She reached down under the bed and pulled out a candle. She clutched it in her hand and made her way to the bedroom door. She eased it open and headed down the hallway.

She came to Buffy’s room and stopped. She took a deep breath and pushed the door open slowly. She peered in and confirmed that Buffy was sound asleep. She crept into her room and stood across the room from her. She lit the candle and began to softly chant her spell to enter Buffy’s subconscious.

Just then, she felt a firm hand grip her arm and she swung around to face a startled and confused looking Tara.

“Willow? What are you doing?” Tara whispered irritated.

“Go back to sleep. It’s nothing.” Willow tried to assure her.

Tara gave her a concerned look and shook her head.

“No. You’re trying to do the spell aren’t you?” She whispered.

“Tara, please. Now is not the time. Just go back to bed.” Willow said harshly.

Tara gave her a pained look and turned around quickly. She headed off down the hall. Willow sighed and felt instantly bad for snapping at her. She blew the candle out and slowly crept out of Buffy’s room and shut the door. She walked back into their bedroom.

Tara was sitting on the bed with tears in her eyes. Willow’s look softened and she went over and sat down next to her.

“I’m sorry, Sweetie. I-I didn’t mean to be so harsh. It’s just, I need to do this. Buffy’s in trouble, I think.” Willow tried to explain.

Tara looked over at her with sad eyes.

“I think you’re the one who’s in trouble.” She said softly.

“What? What are you talking about?” Willow asked defensively.

“Your magic. Willow…You can’t just use magic every time something doesn’t go the way you want it to. Or someone doesn’t act the way you want… Or when someone dies… You can’t keep doing things like this.” Tara said trying to show her concern.

“What? You’re against me? I thought you understood me. Everything I do, I do to make things better for everyone. I only wanted to help Buffy, and I can’t do that when she won’t talk to me.” Willow said, getting up and pacing the room.

“Willow, I’m not against you. I’m concerned for you. I know you want to help, but invading her mind is wrong. Her thoughts are just that. Hers. I’m sorry she’s shutting you out, but you can’t force her. You’ll just make everything worse.” Tara tried to explain.

“Fine. I won’t do it. But do you know where she was last night? She was with Spike. At his place. All night. She’s obviously not dealing with a full deck.” Willow said shaking her head.

“Really? I mean, are they…Well, do you think that they….” Tara stammered nervously.

“I don’t know, but clearly it’s not a good thing. That’s why I want to help her.”

Tara thought for a moment and then shook her head.

“Still, it’s not our business. If she wants to talk to you, she will. Please, just leave it at that. Please, promise me you won’t try to do this again.” Tara tried to reason with her.

Willow sat down again next to Tara. She nodded her head slowly.

“Alright. I promise. It just hurts, you know? I mean, I’m supposed to be her best friend. And she’d rather hang out with Spike than me? It doesn’t make sense. I saved her.” Willow said sadly.

Tara looked over at Willow and nodded her head.

“I know.” She said softly.

Tara was beginning to have some doubts as to what had actually happened with Buffy. She had confirmed to them that she was in a very bad place, but Tara was starting to wonder how much truth was actually in that. She didn’t dare question it though, so she kept her doubts to herself.

* * * * * * *

Several nights later, Buffy was heading out on patrol. She was trying to decide if she wanted to see Spike and ask him to come with her. She hadn’t seen him since the night she had fallen asleep with him. She thought it was wise to put a little distance between them. She was starting to worry that they were getting a little too comfortable with each other.

She wasn’t entirely convinced anymore that it was a bad idea, but she was still a little unsure about where they were heading. She knew that she had feelings for him. She needed him, and trusted him. He made her feel loved and special. She still couldn’t believe that she had kissed him that night. At the time, it just seemed like the right thing to do. She wasn’t actually thinking at all when she did it.

But he hadn’t pushed the issue and she was glad that he didn’t try to read more into it. It was just a simple ‘thank you’ kiss. Nothing more. She’d done it before. But this time it felt different. She found that it wasn’t him that wanted something more to happen. It was her. That’s why she decided to back off a little.

But now, as she walked alone through the cold and dark cemetery, she found herself wanting his company. She sighed and figured enough time had passed and he wouldn’t get the wrong idea about them. She headed towards his crypt.

Once she got there, she went inside and found him pulling his jacket on. He looked over at the sound of her entrance.

“Hey.” She said with a smile.

“Hey. Long time, no see. You need something?” He asked, slightly irritated that she hadn’t bothered to see him in almost a week.

“No. I just wanted to see if you wanted to help me patrol.” She shrugged, sensing he was a little hurt she’d been avoiding him.

“I actually had plans.” He said, crossing his arms.

“Oh. Okay.” She said softly.

He noticed her disappointment and felt guilty. He didn’t have any plans. The truth was, he was going out in hopes of ‘accidentally’ running into her. He just didn’t want to seem too eager or desperate to be in her company. He sighed.

“Well, if you had your heart set on it. I guess I could come along.” He said with a little smirk.

“Don’t flatter yourself. I was just bored again. And you know whenever I’m bored, I think of you.” She teased him.

“Very nice. Thanks.” He said rolling his eyes.

“You wanna come or not?” She said putting her hands on her hips.

“Lead the way.” He said motioning for her to head out the door.

They walked together silently at first. There was some underlying tension in the air, and neither one of them wanted to be the first to address it. Finally Spike decided to be brave.

“So…You get busted the other night?” He asked.

“Huh?”

“You know, sneaking in after spending an illicit evening at my place.” He said with a smirk.

“Oh, that. Yeah, sort of. Willow was waiting for me. I told you she’s getting good at the lurking thing. I walked in the door and turned around and she was right in my face. I’m starting to think that she’s gone a little wiggy, you know?” Buffy said with concern.

“You too? I’m telling you, she’s hanging on by a thread.” Spike said, lighting a cigarette.

“What do you mean by that?”

“She’s getting too big for her britches. She’s on a power trip. It’s not very becoming on her, I might add.” He said, exhaling a puff of smoke.

Buffy waved the smoke away and stopped to look at him.

“You think Willow’s power hungry?” She asked curiously.

“Well, she’s certainly trying to control you, isn’t she?” He said pointedly.

“I don’t know. I think she’s just worried. Maybe it’s my fault? I mean, I have been distant.” Buffy said shaking her head. She couldn’t think anything bad of her friend. No matter what bitterness Buffy held at being brought back.

“You have a right to be distant. She ripped you out of your eternal peace.” Spike said, and then wished he hadn’t of brought it up.

Buffy looked at him and stared silently for a moment. Then she looked away.

“She didn’t know.”

“I know. Still, I’m just saying to watch your back.” Spike sighed.

“Watch my back against what? My best friend? Willow is the most sweet and innocent person I know. She’d never hurt anyone intentionally.” Buffy protested, growing uncomfortable with their conversation.

“Fine. Let’s just change the subject, okay?” He said tossing his cigarette to the ground.

“Fine.” Buffy said crossing her arms.

They walked in silence again for awhile until they came upon a commotion outside of one of the mausoleums. Buffy stopped short.

“What’s all that?” She whispered pointing to the small crowd in front of the crypt.

“Looks like a party.” He said with a smirk.

“Let’s crash.” Buffy smiled.

They made their way over to where the action was. Buffy cleared her throat loudly.

“Hey guys! What’s up?” She asked the group of vampires who stood before her.

“Slayer!” One of them shouted.

The others started to get nervous and began to run off. Buffy looked at Spike quizzically.

“They don’t usually run away so fast. Do I look particularly threatening tonight?”

He shrugged.

Just then, the one of them that appeared to the ringleader pounced on Buffy, catching her off guard. They struggled on the ground before Spike pulled him off of her, tossing him into the side of the mausoleum. Another vampire charged at Buffy, but she kicked him away from her.

Spike struggled with another, which he promptly dusted. Buffy managed to stake another one as he attacked her and the remaining stragglers all ran off. The ringleader stood to his feet and glared at Buffy and Spike.

“You cannot stop us. We will have the power. El Corazón de la oscuridad will be ours.” He hissed at them and took off running.

They watched him run away and Buffy turned to Spike.

“Huh? What the hell was he talking about?” She asked.

Spike shrugged and walked over to her.

“I’m not really sure. Something about the heart of darkness. Maybe we should get out of here.” He said taking her arm and leading her away.

“The heart of darkness? Well that sounds lovely. What ever happened to vampires just wanting to drink blood? Why do they have to go all heart of darknessy?” She asked rolling her eyes.

He shrugged and they walked out of the cemetery. He turned to her.

“You going home now?” He asked.

She sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

“I guess.”

“Okay. Well, see you around then.” He said quickly, turning to walk in the other direction.

“Wait. You’re just leaving? You aren’t even gonna try and convince me to come with you?” She teased him.

He turned around and smirked at her.

“You were waiting for an invitation?”

“Maybe.” She said casually.

“Well then, consider yourself invited.” He smiled.

They walked back towards his place in comfortable silence. They got inside and went downstairs again. Buffy wasn’t sure why she was there, but she knew she wanted to be. She shrugged off her jacket and tossed it onto the couch. She then sat down and put her feet up.

“Want something to drink?” He asked her.

She shook her head. He came and sat down next to her.

“So what do you think that heart of darkness thing was they were talking about?” She asked him.

“I don’t know. It sounds a little familiar. I think I’ve read about it.”

“Where? In the Weekly World News?” She asked with a smirk.

“No, smart ass. In a book. I think I might have it upstairs. You want me to look?” He asked with a sigh.

He was hoping that they could talk about something other than business tonight.

“Yeah. Go get it. We could at least find out if we need to prepare for another apocalypse.” She said wryly.

“Fine. Be right back.” He said, going over and climbing up his ladder.

Buffy leaned back into the couch and looked around. She wondered where he got all this furniture. She couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of Spike checking out a garage sale or something. Her eyes focused on the small night table by his bed. It had three drawers and one of them was slightly open.

She glanced back at the ladder and then over the table. She got up and walked over to it. She sat down on the bed and opened the drawer slowly. It was filled with papers and a notebook of some kind. She picked up the notebook and a picture fell out. She picked it up and looked at it.

It was a picture of her. On the back the words ~Buffy 1981-2001~ were written. She felt her heart ache at the thought of Spike writing that on her picture. It also just brought back the uneasiness that she had actually been dead. She opened the notebook and tucked the picture back inside. As she did, her eyes focused on the words on the paper. It appeared to be a letter dated right after her death. She couldn’t help but start to read it.

Buffy~

I know you’ll never read this, and that’s the only way I’m able to write it. I know you were never mine but in my heart you belonged to me. In my heart, you’ll always belong to me. There’s so much I need to tell you.

She felt herself getting emotional just reading the words he had written. She could feel the sadness that he was feeling when he wrote it. Suddenly she heard the sound of him coming down the ladder and she panicked. She slammed the notebook closed and stuffed it back into the drawer quickly. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her close the drawer.

She got up nervously and walked over to him.

“So did you find the book?” She asked, trying to be casual.

“No. Did you find anything interesting?” He asked, feeling a little irritated that she was going through his things.

“What?” She asked hurriedly.

“I saw you over there. What? I can’t leave you alone for five minutes without you snooping through my things?” He asked, raising his eyebrow.

“I-I wasn’t snooping. I was just… I was…snooping. Sorry.” She said, hanging her head down.

“If you want to know something, just ask. You don’t have to play detective.” He said with a sigh.

“Sorry.”

“Forget it.” He said, trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal. Then he turned to her. “So what did you find?”

He wondered how embarrassed he should be right now. He had a lot of junk in that drawer and none of it was anything he particularly wanted her to see.

“Nothing. Just a notebook and a picture.” She admitted softly.

“You read my notebook?” He asked horrified. Those were his private thoughts, that he would never share with anyone. It was like his journal. He wrote down whatever ridiculous thought that came into his mind.

“No. I didn’t. I swear. I only saw a little bit. I saw my name. I’m weak. I had to at least see what it was about.” She said shamefully.

“It was the letter, right? The one I wrote after you died.” He said, feeling himself becoming embarrassed.

She nodded her head.

“I-I didn’t get far. I shouldn’t have read it. I’m sorry.”

He looked at her and shook his head. He moved away from her and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“You weren’t ever supposed to read that. It was stupid. I just felt like I had so much I wanted to tell you, and never had the chance. I thought somehow if I wrote that letter, it would feel like I had told you everything. Like you would know, even though I knew you wouldn’t.” He said softly, not able to look at her.

She looked at him and felt his sadness. She moved over and sat next to him. She reached over and took his hand gently.

“You have your chance now. You can tell me. Whatever it is you want me to know, you can tell me.” She said quietly.

He looked over at her and saw her eyes shining brightly at him. She was so alive and for a second, she almost looked happy again. He wanted to tell her everything, but he didn’t want her to laugh at him, or make him feel stupid.

“I don’t think you really want to know what I was thinking when I wrote that.” He said softly.

“Yes I do.”

He sighed and looked down at their hands which were intertwined together. Her soft hand was enveloped tightly in his rough one. Two complete opposites, and yet they fit together so well.

“I wanted you to know that I loved you. Even though I knew you’d never love me back. It didn’t matter anymore. It was enough that you let me exist in your presence. I tried to tell you that the night you died. But I don’t know if I was clear enough. I wanted to make it clear.” He said quietly, still looking down at their hands and not into her eyes.

He continued.

“I wanted you to know that I tried. I tried so hard to make things right. To keep Dawn safe. To keep you safe. I know I failed, and I knew you’d probably kill me anyway for letting you down. But then when I saw you…And I knew you were gone…Well, it felt like I died instead. I wanted it to be me instead. But it wasn’t me and I knew I had to keep my promise. Dawn and I were still in this world, and I made sure that it stayed that way. I wanted you to know she’d be safe with me. That I wouldn’t let you down again.” He said, glancing up at her uncomfortably.

He saw that her eyes were glistening with tears. He hoped he hadn’t upset her or made her feel uncomfortable. She looked in his eyes.

“You didn’t let me down.” She whispered softly.

“But I did.” He protested.

She put her finger to his lips to stop his protestations.

“No. You didn’t.” She said softly, but firmly.

He looked at her and felt his emotions bubbling to the surface. He tried to hold them back. Was she actually forgiving him? Did she actually not blame him? He wasn’t sure he deserved that from her.

She then leaned over to him and kissed him softly. He felt her warm lips pressing gently against his, and he felt his heart soaring. This time, he wasn’t able to contain himself. He reached up and ran his hands through her soft hair, pulling her closer.

She parted her lips and their kiss deepened. Without even thinking, she wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him to her. She had no other thoughts in her head except touching him and feeling his lips on hers. For the first time since she’d been back, she truly felt alive again. In his arms, with his lips, he brought her back into this world. And suddenly, it didn’t seem as scary as it once did.

Finally, she pulled herself away from him. She could tell that he hadn’t wanted her to stop, and she had to admit that she didn’t really want to either. But everything was still moving a little fast for her, so she stood up.

“Okay. I should get home.” She said quickly, taking a deep breath.

He tried to compose himself and not let on how disappointed he was at her abrupt departure.

“Right. Okay.”

“Um, I’ll see you tomorrow. Come by the Magic Box after dark. I want to tell everyone about that El hearto of darkness thingy.” She said with a smile.

“Okay. I’ll see if I can find that book. I know it’s around here somewhere.” He told her.

“Okay.” She smiled.

She turned and walked towards the ladder, then turned around again. She walked over to him and placed her hands on the sides of his face. She leaned down and kissed him full on the mouth, then pulled away again. He looked at her with lust filled eyes, and managed a small grin.

“Sorry. I just had to do that one more time.” She said sheepishly.

“No complaints.” He uttered softly.

“See you later.” She said, as turned around and left for real this time.

He just watched her disappear with a huge smile across his face.

* * * * * * * * * * *

That night, Buffy told everyone she had some new information she wanted to discuss with the group. Everyone was glad that she was including them once again. Since she’d been back, she preferred to work alone, or with Spike. She hardly ever wanted anyone else to patrol with her. And when she was around everyone, she was mostly quiet. Tonight, they noticed she seemed animated again. Happy even.

It was a sharp contrast to the withdrawn, quiet girl that Buffy had become. They weren’t sure what brought about the change, but they were all letting out small sighs of relief.

“So what’s this information, Buff?” Xander asked curiously.

“Well, Spike and I ran into some vamps last night. I think they were looking for something. Mostly they were a bunch of wusses. They ran away. But not before saying something. Spike knows what they said. We should just wait for him.” She said, sitting down in a chair across from Xander.

“Spike’s coming?” Willow asked curiously.

“Yeah. I told him to. He said he had a book or something that mentioned this thing the vamps were talking about.” Buffy said casually.

Just then, the door opened and Spike walked in carrying a large book under his arm. He smiled when he saw Buffy sitting there with her friends. She smiled back and went over to meet him.

“You found the book?” She asked.

“Yeah. I knew I had read about it somewhere.” He said, putting the book onto the table.

“So what’s the what? What are these vamps looking for?” Xander asked.

“They are looking for El Corazón de la oscuridad.” He said looking at Xander.

“Huh?” Xander said giving him a confused look.

“The Heart Of Darkness.” Willow said quickly.

Spike looked over at her and nodded his head.

“That’s right. You’ve heard of it?” He said curiously.

Willow looked away for a moment then nodded her head.

“Yeah. It’s a magical amulet thingy.” She said trying to downplay her interest in the subject.

“Right. The amulet of Tarkin. Otherwise known as ‘El Corazón de la oscuridad, or Heart of Darkness.” Spike explained.

“I’m guessing they didn’t start calling it that because it gives you a warm fuzzy when you wear it?” Buffy asked hopefully.

“Not exactly. It’s extremely dangerous. At least in the wrong hands. And I’m guessing that those vampires qualify as the wrong hands.” Spike said seriously.

“What else does this book say about it? I mean, what does it do exactly?” Buffy asked.

“This is what it says: Él que lleva a cabo el corazón de la oscuridad los posess la

potencia del mal del untold...” Spike recited to them.

Everyone looked at him with a blank expression. Everyone except Willow. She knew exactly what it said, but she didn’t speak up. Xander looked at Spike and shook his head.

“Uh, you’re speaking Greek, pal. What did you just say?” He asked.

“Actually it’s Spanish, you half wit. And it says basically that whoever possesses the amulet has the power of untold evil.”

“Check out the big brain on Spikey. You sound like Giles. Only you’re dead and not wearing a suit.” Xander said sarcastically.

“Very funny. Just because I’m not a moron like you—.” Spike started, getting agitated with Xander’s remarks.

“Shut up, you two. Just tell us what we need to do.” Buffy interrupted, then looked over at Spike.

“Well, I’d venture a guess that getting to it before they do would be a nice start.” He said rolling his eyes at her.

“But where is it?” Xander asked.

“It’s here.” Willow finally chimed in.

Everyone looked at her.

“Huh?” Xander asked.

“Well, this Tarkin guy, he was this really cool warlock, like 500 years ago. He was really powerful with magic and stuff. Finally he was defeated, and his spirit was banished and locked away in an amulet forever. Legend says that the Spaniards took the amulet and buried it at the mouth of Hell where he belonged. ” Willow told them.

“The Hellmouth. Of course. Where evil comes to nest.” Buffy said wryly, shaking her head.

Xander looked over at Willow curiously.

“Check out the big brain on Willow.” He muttered, wondering how she knew so much about this amulet.

“Whoever possesses the amulet can free the spirit. If they know how to invoke it.” Willow continued.

Spike looked over at her and nodded his head. She seemed to be very familiar with this amulet. And maybe just a little too interested.

“Right. So if these guys know how to invoke it, then things get a little interesting around here. And not in a good way.” Spike told her.

“Does it like make them like supervillians? I mean what exactly will freeing this spirit do?” Buffy asked curiously.

“If the spirit is freed, the power of Tarkin transfers into whomever frees him. He was the most powerful warlock known to man at the time of his death. So I’d say that makes them supervillians. Vampires using powerful magic can only mean one thing. Trouble.” Spike told them all.

“So where do we look first? I mean, Sunnydale is built on the Hellmouth. It could be anywhere.” Anya said, speaking up for the first time.

“Yeah. I mean, do we just start digging somewhere?” Xander asked.

“Wait. I know where.” Buffy said, suddenly remembering something.

“What?” Spike asked her curiously.

“The mausoleum. On the outside, the name was Corazón. I didn’t even remember until right now. I thought it was the family name, but it’s gotta be buried in that crypt. That’s why they were there last night.” Buffy said, standing up.

“Come on. Let’s go before they have a chance to finish what they started last night.” Spike said, taking her arm.

“Uh, guys? Want us to come too? Maybe you’ll need a little help?” Xander asked.

“We got it covered.” Buffy called out as she and Spike headed for the door.

“Wait.” Willow called out.

Buffy turned around.

“What are you going to do with it when you find it?” She asked.

“I don’t know. I’m not gonna put it on and see if it looks good with my outfit or anything.” Buffy said sarcastically.

“I-I just meant, you should bring it back here. I-I want to see it.” Willow said, then noticed everyone giving her a strange look. “Plus, we should you know, keep it safe. From the bad guys.” She said, trying to cover her interest.

“Fine. We’ll take it and bring it back.” Buffy shrugged.

Spike looked at Willow knowingly. He was getting some seriously strange vibrations from that girl. He didn’t trust her anymore. And he’d always been fond of her. Even when he was trying to kill her. She was always a sweet girl. She treated him kindly in the past. But he sensed something was very different in her now. He shook his head, and headed out the door behind Buffy.

They walked outside and Spike turned to Buffy.

“Come on. We’ll take my motorcycle. It’s quicker.” He said pulling her over towards where he had parked it.

“Fun. You know, I’ve never been on a motorcycle before.” She said, as they walked towards it.

He got on and turned to her.

“Hop on. I promise it’ll be fun.” He smiled.

She climbed on the back and put her arms around him tightly. He turned his head to capture her mouth in a quick kiss. Then he turned the ignition on and they sped off towards the cemetery.

They arrived at the cemetery and climbed off the bike. It seemed pretty quiet out tonight, which was good. That meant that the vampires hadn’t come back yet. Which meant the amulet was safe. Hopefully.

“Do you think they’ve already found it? What if we’re too late?” Buffy asked, as they walked.

“Well, then our job gets a little tougher. But let’s not worry about that right now.” He said.

Once they got to the crypt they looked at the name again. It was just as Buffy remembered. Corazón. They pushed the door open slowly and walked in. It was dark and dusty. Spike pulled a small flashlight out of his pocket and turned it on.

“Are we actually gonna have to dig or something, because maybe we should have brought shovels?” She said making a face.

“Looks like someone has already been doing some digging.” Spike said, pointing the flashlight over towards the center of the room.

A large hole had been dug up. Buffy turned to Spike.

“Were too late, aren’t we?” She asked.

“I don’t know. I get the feeling this is what we interrupted last night. I don’t think they’ve been back.” He said walking around the room slowly.

He shined the flashlight onto the wall and noticed several vaults lining the walls. He read the plaques with the names of the dearly departed on them. One of the names caught his attention. Ratkin.

“Look at that.” He said pointing to the plaque.

“Yeah? So?” Buffy said, uninterested.

“So? Ratkin? Tarkin? It’s almost the same. Just some of the letters are transposed. I think it’s in there.” He said going over to try and pry it open.

Buffy looked around and saw a pick axe lying against one of the walls. She went over to pick it up. She walked back over to Spike.

“Here. Use this.” She said handing it to him.

He used the pick end to pry the plaque off the wall. As it fell the ground, it revealed a small wooden box. He pulled it out of the wall.

“Unless this was an extremely tiny person, I’m betting there isn’t a body in this box.” Spike said giving Buffy a satisfied smile.

“Open it.”

He opened up the box and suddenly a blue light filled the room. They both looked away for a moment, then focused their eyes on the contents of the box. Inside was a large crystal heart that was glowing a bright iridescent blue color. It hung from a long, silver necklace.

“Wow. It’s gorgeous.” Buffy said, reaching out to touch it.

“Yeah. And evil, Remember?” He said, removing her hand from it.

“But it’s so shiny.” She said wanting to touch it again.

“Yeah, shiny and evil. Focus, Buffy. Let’s just get out of here.” He said grabbing her arm.

“Not so fast.” A voice came from behind them.

They whirled around to face the vampire from last night, along with several of his lackeys.

“Sorry guys. We’d love to stay and chat, but we’ve got places to be.” Buffy said, kicking the vampire in the face.

Spike began hitting and kicking at several of the others, while Buffy took on her own group of vampires. The box with the amulet, got knocked out of Spike’s hands and went flying down into the large hole in the middle of the room.

The vampire leader saw this, and scrambled down into the hole to retrieve it.

“Buffy! The amulet!” He said, pointing at the vampire climbing into the hole.

Just then, one of the vampires kicked Spike in the face and he reeled back, falling to the ground. Buffy managed to stake one of the vamps she was fighting and jumped down into the hole with the leader. Spike managed to get back on his feet and dispatch two of the vampires that were challenging him.

Buffy struggled with the ringleader, punching and kicking him up against the side of the hole. She managed to knock him down and the box went flying and smashed into a million splinters. The amulet fell out and lay in the dirt. Buffy reached down and grabbed it, just as the vampire regained his senses and kicked her down.

She managed to sweep his feet out from under him, and leap up. With her free hand she grabbed her stake that had fallen onto the ground. She plunged it into the vampires chest before he had a chance to get up. She could hear that Spike was still struggling with the remaining vampires. She climbed out of the hole, clutching the amulet tightly.

“I’ve got it! Let’s go!” She shouted at Spike who was trying to hold the group off, but was severely outnumbered.

Buffy ran past him and out the door. Spike followed, punching vampires aside as he ran. Once outside, they were greeted with an even larger group of vampires. Buffy and Spike stopped in their tracks and looked around. They were surrounded by at least fifteen to twenty pissed off vampires.

“Got a plan?” Spike whispered to Buffy.

“Uh, run?” She muttered back, completely uneasy about the turn of events.

Spike looked at her and shrugged. Then he took off running. Some of the vampires followed after him and the others began to close in on Buffy.

“Thanks a lot, Spike! I wasn’t serious!” She shouted angrily at his departure.

She had to move quickly as she was on her own now. She was more than a little pissed that he had gone and left her. Maybe he wasn’t as reformed as she thought he was. She began to try and fend off her attackers. She threw punches and managed to dust two of the vamps. She was still sorely outnumbered.

“Spike! Where are you? You stupid jerk.” She yelled as she kicked one of vampires away from her.

Just then, she heard the sound of an engine roaring. The motorcycle. She saw Spike speeding through the cemetery, dodging headstones. She smiled. He came racing up to her.

“Get on!” He shouted as he approached her quickly.

As he sped past, he reached his arm out and she grabbed it and jumped on. Spike plowed through the remaining crowd of vampires, being sure to give a couple of them a swift kick as he sped past. Buffy clutched him tightly, and they sped out of the cemetery, leaving them all behind.

Once they were back out onto the street, Buffy started laughing.

“That was great! This thing comes in handy for the quick getaways, doesn’t it?” She said into his ear.

“It is a handy little piece of machinery, isn’t it?” He shouted over the roar of the engine.

“Plus, you know, you look really cool driving it.” She said to him with a small smirk.

He glanced over his shoulder and smiled at her. Then he focused his eyes back onto the road again.

“You have the amulet, right?” He asked her.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the necklace. The iridescent blue glowed brightly in his face.

“Of course.” She told him as she dangled it in front of his face.

“Well, put it away. Wouldn’t do any good to lose it now.”

They drove quickly towards the magic shop, and Buffy laid her head down on Spike shoulder. She was enjoying herself immensely. Sure, they had almost gotten themselves killed tonight, but it was a hell of a good time. She had to admit that sometimes she really enjoyed being a Slayer. It was funny. She complained about it so much, but she wouldn’t even know what to do if she weren’t the Slayer. Nights like this made her see that more clearly.

They pulled up out in front of the shop and Spike turned the bike off. Buffy was still holding onto him tightly. He waited for her to let go, but she didn’t.

“Uh, Love? You can let go now. We’ve stopped.” He said to her with a smile.

“You really want me to let you go?” She asked him slyly.

He turned his head to her and saw her smirking at him. He couldn’t help but want to kiss that smirk right off of her face. He twisted his body around and she loosened her grip enough to let him face her. He leaned over and kissed her softly. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly and pulled him closer. After a minute, she finally nudged him away from her.

“We should probably get inside now.” She said, breathlessly.

“Right.” He said, trying to focus.

Kissing her was still such a new thing for him. He wasn’t sure how he was going to control himself much longer. Her lips made him lose his mind.

They climbed off the bike and instinctively he took her hand as they walked into the shop. Once they were inside, they found everyone waiting for them.

“You guys are back.” Xander said with a smile. Then he noticed that they were holding hands. He frowned and started to say something, but stopped himself.

“Yeah. We made it one piece. And bonus! One Heart of Darkness coming up.” Buffy smiled as she let go of Spike’s hand and reached into her pocket. She pulled the amulet out and held it up.

Willow’s eyes went wide and she went over to take it.

“Wow. It’s just like I imagined.” She said, in awe of it.

Spike looked at her curiously. He tried to take it out of her hands, but she wouldn’t let go.

“Uh, Red? Be careful. That’s dangerous.” He said to her.

“Relax. I’m not going to break it.” Willow snapped at him harshly.

Everyone noticed the tension that filled the air suddenly. They shifted uncomfortably.

“I should probably take it back. We need to find somewhere safe to keep it.” Buffy said, trying to break the tension.

Willow turned away from Buffy and walked away with the amulet in her hand.

“I’ll find somewhere to put it.” Willow said absently, staring at the blue glowing heart.

“Maybe we should just destroy it?” Tara offered hopefully.

Willow’s head snapped around and she looked at Tara.

“No. We can’t destroy it.” She said quickly.

“Calm down, Will. It’s evil, remember? It’s not a cool accessory that all your friends are gonna be jealous of.” Xander said, uncomfortable with Willow’s strange attitude.

“Sorry. It’s just, I’d hate to destroy it. It’s like a piece of history.” Willow said, sounding more like herself again.

“Well, I don’t care what you do with it. Just put it away. It’s starting to hurt my eyes.” Anya said, looking away from it.

Willow took it and walked over to her backpack. She pulled out a small leather pouch and put the amulet into it. She placed it back into her bag.

“I’ll take it somewhere safe.” She said reassuringly to everyone.

Everyone seemed a little uncomfortable with the situation, but nobody said anything. Finally Xander looked over at Buffy and Spike. He wanted to know what was going on there. He’d seen them holding hands, and he felt the need to pry.

He got up and went over to Buffy.

“Uh, Buff? Anything you wanna talk about?” He said to her quietly.

She looked at him confused and shook her head.

“Uh, no. Not really.” She said completely clueless. She hadn’t actually been aware that she and Spike had been holding hands. It was like an unconscious action. She didn’t realize that Xander suspected something.

“Are you sure? I mean, is something new going on that you’d like to share?” He prodded her.

“Uh, no.” She said giving him a bewildered look. Then she turned to everyone. “I’m beat. I think I’m gonna head out now.” She announced to everyone.

“You’re leaving?” Willow asked.

“Yeah. Unless there’s something else you guys need me to do?”

“No. You should go home and rest.” Willow said calmly.

“Okay.” Buffy said looking at Willow strangely. Then she shook her head. “See you guys later.”

“I’m going too.” Spike said, following her out the door.

Xander turned to everyone and sighed.

“Okay. What’s going on with those two that I don’t know about?” He asked everyone.

“Why?” Anya asked curiously.

“Didn’t you see them holding hands?” He asked.

“No. They were holding hands?” Anya asked.

“Yes. I’m not the only one who saw it, am I?” Xander asked, shaking his head.

“No. I saw it. I-I don’t know what’s going on. She spent the night with him the other night.” Willow said softly.

“She what? Is she crazy? She told you this?” Xander said disbelieving.

“Not exactly. I caught her sneaking in. She said she just fell asleep, but I don’t know if I buy that.” Willow admitted.

“She fell asleep?” Xander asked incredulously.

“Well, she probably did fall asleep. You know, after a bout of wild, animalistic sex.” Anya offered.

“Eww.” Willow said making a face.

“Yeah, thanks for that terrifying visual in my head, An.” Xander said, holding his head.

“We should do something, right? Stop Buffy from making a huge mistake?” Willow asked.

“Yeah. We should.” Xander agreed, nodding his head.

“She seemed awfully happy to me.” Anya said thoughtfully.

“What?” Willow asked irritated.

“Well, you know, since she’s been back all she does is mope around and scowl a lot at everything. Tonight, she seemed rather cheerful. Almost like normal again. I mean, that’s good right?” Anya said trying to explain herself.

“Yeah. It is. But if doing the wild thing with Spike is making her happy, then I still fear for her.” Xander said pointedly.

“I’m just saying, it’s probably none of our business. She’s a big girl. And Spike’s not so bad. Not anymore anyway. Plus, you told me that you knew how much he loved her.” Anya said to Xander matter of factly.

“I know. I know he loves her and that’s fine. He can love her all he wants. I just don’t want her loving him back.” Xander protested.

“Why not?” Anya asked.

“Because! It’s…It’s…It’s just icky. Okay?” Xander stammered.

“Fine.” Anya said crossing her arms angrily.

“Guys. I think Anya’s right. It isn’t our place to interfere with this.” Tara piped up.

“What? You approve?” Willow asked her girlfriend surprised.

“I’m not saying that. But I’m not saying I don’t approve. I’m just saying we need to let Buffy live her own life. That’s all.”

“Well, I didn’t give her life back to her, just so she could ruin it with Spike.” Willow said irritated.

Everyone looked at her surprised. Her tone of voice was very harsh, and the way she claimed full responsibility for giving Buffy her life, stunned them.

“Well, just because you gave her life, doesn’t mean you get to run it for her.” Anya said pointedly.

Willow glared at Anya.

“Don’t you ever shut up?” Willow said angrily.

“Hey! You don’t have to be so rude. Xander, aren’t you—.” Anya started, but then became silent.

Her lips were moving, but no sound was coming out. Anya started to panic. Everyone looked stunned at Anya’s sudden loss of her voice.

“An? Are you okay?” Xander asked, trying to stop Anya from waving her arms in the air in panic mode.

Willow sat back and smirked, satisfied with herself. Tara looked over at her and her eyes were accusing.

“Willow? What did you do?” She asked confused.

“Someone had to shut her up. She annoys me.” Willow said calmly.

“You did this? What the hell is wrong with you?” Xander said angrily, glaring at Willow.

“Next time, maybe she’ll keep her mouth shut.” Willow said irritated. She got up and snapped her fingers.

The sound of Anya’s tirade, filled the room again. Willow grabbed her bag and headed for the door.

“You stupid bitch. Keep your magic paws away from me.” Anya screamed after her. Then she looked at Xander. “What is wrong with her?” She asked.

Xander watched Willow walk out and looked at Tara.

“What’s up with her, Tara? What the hell was that?” He asked.

“I-I don’t know.” She said almost numb with shock and concern for her girlfriend. “I-I’ll talk to her.”

Tara got up and headed out the door after Willow.

* * * * * * * * * *

Spike and Buffy left the Magic Box on his motorcycle. He fully intended to take her home, until she leaned into his ear.

“I don’t want to go home.” She told him.

He looked back at her quizzically.

“I thought you said you were beat?” He asked her.

“I was making excuses. I just wanted to get out of there.” She smiled.

He smirked.

“Well, where do you want to go?”

“Your place.” She said into his ear softly.

He had no idea if she was implying anything or not with her statement. Part of him didn’t want to get his hopes up, but the other part of him was already imagining what she would look like naked and in his bed. Either way, he gunned the throttle and sped the bike up in the direction of his crypt.

Once they got there, he parked the motorcycle in the lot and they headed off towards his place. They walked inside and headed downstairs. They both took off their jackets and Spike looked at her nervously. He wasn’t sure what to do anymore. They were past the awkward friend stage now, but they weren’t quite into the ripping each others clothes off stage either. He stood there and waited for her to lead the way.

Finally she sighed.

“So, what do you think of Willow and her strange fascination with that amulet?” She asked.

He sighed. Shop talk. He was hoping she was gonna forget all that, and just pounce on him. But he had to try and remember that this was actually Buffy. Not the sex crazed, fantasy Buffy he had built up in his head.

“Well, I think she’s gone a little wacky if you ask me.” He shrugged.

“I’m starting to see your point. Do you think I should talk to her?” She asked, as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Maybe. I don’t think it’s such a good idea for her to have that amulet.” He said seriously, sitting down beside her.

“You don’t think she’d do anything stupid, do you? I mean, she knows it all evil and stuff.” Buffy asked.

“She’s done a lot of stupid things lately. I don’t trust her.”

“Yeah, but come on. This is Willow. She may be a little magic happy, but this is something even she wouldn’t mess with.” Buffy said uncomfortably.

“Are you sure about that? This amulet is the embodiment of power. If she were to invoke the spirit, things could get really ugly, really fast.” He explained to her.

“Well, she wouldn’t do that. Why would she?”

“I don’t know. Look, she probably won’t. But, I think you should keep an eye on her. That’s all. I don’t like the way she’s been acting.” He said seriously.

“Yeah. I’ll maybe talk to her later. I know she’s still dying for a heart to heart talk.” Buffy said with a sigh.

She was worried about Willow, but she had a lot of faith in her. She may have been acting a little different, but she was still Willow. Sweet, lovable, geeky, Willow. She’d never hurt anyone. Not intentionally, anyway.

“So, uh, did I really look cool on the motorcycle?” Spike asked, breaking the silence.

He was trying to steer the conversation away from Willow and back onto them.

Buffy smiled over at him.

“Yeah. I have to admit there’s something slightly sexy about a man on a motorcycle.” She said.

“Only slightly sexy? I was hoping for completely irresistible.” He said with a smirk.

“You’re so full of yourself, you know that? Have you always been this cocky?” She asked him rolling her eyes.

He shrugged.

“Well, when you’re as devastatingly handsome as I am, it’s hard not to be.” He said jokingly.

“You just have to compliment yourself, cause no else is doing it for you.” She said with a smirk.

“Well that’s true. Would it kill you to say something nice about me?” He asked.

“It might.” She said calmly.

He shook his head and laughed. She was acting like Buffy again. He’d almost forgotten how irritating she could be. Since she’d been back, they had been pretty cordial with each other. It was great, of course, but there was also something to be said for their little put downs. He enjoyed it, and he knew she did too.

“I know you think I’m irresistible. ” He said leaning into her closely.

“More like persistent and annoying.” She said with a sly smile.

“And I know you think I’m handsome.” He said leaning even closer to her.

“What gives you that idea?” She asked coyly.

“How much you enjoy this.” He said, leaning over to kiss her softly.

She pulled him closer to her and her mouth opened instinctively. The feel of his tongue circling hers made her shudder inside. Kissing him was definitely of the good. There was no bad there at all. She felt her body come alive and scooted closer to him. She pressed herself up against him and she felt his hands tangle in her hair.

They fell back onto the bed, never breaking their kiss. He wanted her so badly he was aching. The feel of her soft lips and warm body was almost enough to send him over the edge. He needed her. Finally he broke away from her reluctantly and looked down into her eyes.

He smoothed the hair away from her face and gently kissed her forehead and then both of her cheeks.

“I love you so much, Buffy.” He whispered to her.

“Spike…” She said softly looking into his eyes.

She could feel the love he had radiating off of him. His touch was so tender and so filled with passion at the same time. No one had ever made her feel quite like this before. When he kissed her, she forgot everything. It was a struggle at this point to remember her own name.

He leaned down and kissed her again, this time it was getting harder for him to restrain his passion. His tongue invaded her mouth roughly and she welcomed it. She returned his fire, and began to run her hands over his back and along his chest. He trailed kisses down the side of her neck and back up to her lips again.

He pulled away abruptly, leaving them both breathless. She looked at him slightly confused as to why he pulled away.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“Nothing. This is just a little hard for me.” He said softly.

“Kissing me is hard for you?” She asked, feeling a little put off by his statement.

“No. Not the kissing. That’s easy. It’s the stopping. As in, I don’t want to.” He admitted to her.

She smiled at him. She was relieved that he wasn’t having some revelation that she wasn’t as desirable as he always thought she’d be. She leaned up and kissed his ear. She whispered to him.

“I don’t want you to stop.”

He looked at her full of wonderment and happiness. This was it. This was what he’d been dreaming about for what seemed his entire existence. Buffy was here, alive, with him, and wanting him. For a minute he didn’t know what to do. She looked at him curiously.

“Uh, Spike? Are you alright?” She asked, taking in his awed expression.

He shook his head and smiled at her.

“Sorry. It felt like my heart stopped there for a second. Then I realized it wasn’t beating before anyway.” He said with a small grin.

She couldn’t help but laugh. The look on his face was touching. She could tell he never thought she’d ever be here with him. And of course, it wasn’t that long ago that she would have rather chewed broken glass than be here with him. Things changed. Everything was changed now.

She reached up and pulled him down to her again. He crushed his mouth to hers. This was like every fevered fantasy he’d ever had, only it was ten times better, because it was actually happening.

He felt her hands grip his t-shirt and begin to yank it over his head. They stopped kissing only long enough for her to pull it off and toss it aside. His hands traveled under her shirt until they met the lacy edge of her bra. He caressed her breasts softly through the fabric and heard her let out a soft moan. This only made him more eager to take it off.

He sat up and pulled her with him. He reached over and gently pulled her shirt over her head, revealing her white, lace bra. He leaned over and kissed the swell of her breasts as he undid the clasp. Once she was free from it, he laid her back down again.

All he wanted to do was look at her. She was so perfect. So warm, and so very much alive again. He leaned down and kissed her softly, trailing his lips across her neck and down across her chest. When his mouth reached her nipples he softly licked around them, feeling her body shudder under his gentle touch. He ran his hands over her now hardened peaks, relishing the feel of her skin.

She reached out and began to unbuckle his pants. She was longing to feel him, just as much as he was longing for her. As she worked on his pants he did the same for her. He gently pulled her jeans off of her and then removed his own. He then pressed his body down to hers. The feel of their skin touching, sent shivers down his spine. He kissed her lovingly, running his hands through her hair softly.

He felt her legs wrap around him and he suddenly didn’t want to wait any longer to be with her. He reached down and pulled her panties off and she looked at him expectantly. He caressed her thighs and ran his hand between her legs, feeling her warm wetness. He closed his eyes at the incredible feel of her desire. It was all for him. He had done this to her.

He began to stroke her softly and she closed her eyes and moaned.

“Oh, Spike.” She murmured to him, as she felt his fingers working their magic.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. The look of desire was apparent in his eyes.

“Make love to me.” She whispered.

He thought he may pass out just hearing her say those words to him. She was so full of need. It made his heart sing.

He quickly returned his lips to hers. He reached down, and guided himself into her silken warmth. He moved slowly at first, and she gasped at the feel of him inside of her. Her entire body felt like it was on fire as he began to thrust into her deeply.

This was so wrong, she knew. They should never be together like this. It was crazy. He was a vampire and she was a Slayer. He was darkness and she was light. He was coldness and she was warmth. In the history of love, there were never two people more wrong for each other, but somehow, tonight, she just couldn’t see that. It was right. Maybe no one else would ever understand, but they did. They both understood things that no one else could even imagine.

Making love to her was so much more intense than he ever would have dreamed. She was so warm and wet it was a struggle to last as long as he did. He felt her clutch him tighter and he couldn’t hold out any longer. He felt his body begin to quake with release. The feeling was intensified as he felt her body begin tense and spasm around him.

“Buffy, Buffy…” He whispered as his body collapsed with exhaustion on top of her.

They both lay there in each other’s arms, panting from the magnitude of their lovemaking. She ran her hands gently over the muscles in his back and smiled. His face was buried in her neck and she felt him placing soft kisses along her jaw line.

“I love you.” He whispered to her softly.

She reached her hand up and ran her fingers through his hair. She wasn’t sure she was ready to tell him that she loved him. She wanted to, but she was afraid. She wasn’t sure why. She had just given herself to him, and yet it was still only her body. She was still holding on to her heart. Maybe a little too tightly.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tara had tried to find Willow, but she had disappeared quickly after she had walked out of the shop. Tara was really starting to get worried about her. She was acting so differently, and Tara found it unnerving and little scary.

Willow had always been so nice and caring to everyone. Lately, she was acting more selfishly and Tara noticed the huge chip she had on her shoulder ever since she had brought Buffy back. It had started even before that, Tara realized.

Willow had changed after Buffy died. Tara of course attributed it to grief, but now she wasn’t so sure. Willow had completely thrown herself into research after Buffy died. Tara knew that Willow wanted to bring her back from the beginning. They hadn’t told anyone else at first, until Willow felt confident that she could pull it off.

Everyone had balked at the idea at first, but Willow was insistent and convincing. Tara put her full trust in Willow. She loved her. She knew her. And if Willow said it would be okay, she believed her. Only afterwards, did Tara begin to have her doubts. Things like Willow trying to perform the mind spell on Buffy the other night, and taking away Anya’s voice, that frightened her. Willow was starting to abuse her magic. Tara only hoped she could get through to her, and make her see what she was doing was wrong.

Tara decided to head back home to Buffy’s house. She figured Willow must have just gone straight home. She walked up and noticed that the upstairs room they shared, had a faint blue glow emanating from it. Tara knew that meant Willow had the amulet out. She felt her heartbeat quicken and she rushed into the house.

She ran up the stairs and into their bedroom. Luckily Dawn was staying the weekend at a friends house, so she wouldn’t be bothered by what Tara feared was going to be an unpleasant confrontation. She pushed the bedroom door open and saw Willow sitting on the bed in the dark, holding the amulet.

She looked up when Tara walked in.

“It’s so pretty. Don’t you think it’s pretty?” Willow asked Tara with a smile.

“Yeah. It is. But it’s not really something you should have.” Tara said giving her a sympathetic look.

Willow seemed to have calmed down and Tara felt relief.

“It’s just a necklace, Tara.” Willow said rolling her eyes.

“No. It’s not. It’s a mystical prison for an evil being. Willow, it’s so pretty because it wants to draw you in. It wants you to free him. You know the legend, just as well, as I do.” Tara said seriously.

“I’m not going to free him. Forget it. I just wanted to look at it.” Willow said defensively. She picked up the leather pouch again and put the amulet away.

“We really should get rid of it. Just having it here is wrong.” Tara said seriously, as she moved over to sit next to Willow.

“Why is everyone acting like I’m incapable of taking care of this? I know what I’m doing. If it’s with me, it’s safe. I’ll put a protection spell around it, so no one can touch it. Does that make you feel better?” Willow asked a little too harshly.

Tara looked at her and said nothing. Then she nodded her head.

“Fine.”

“Good.” Willow said, putting the pouch into a drawer by her bed. “I’ll do it later.”

Tara looked over at Willow seriously. She wasn’t sure how to approach what she wanted to say. Finally she just took a deep breath and spoke.

“We need to talk, Willow.”

“About what?”

“About you. And your magic. Things are getting a little intense, don’t you think?” Tara asked quietly.

“Intense? Are you scared or something?” Willow asked incredulously.

“A little. Scared for you. Y-you haven’t been acting like yourself lately. I-I’m worried.” Tara admitted.

“Don’t be worried. I’m fine.” Willow said reaching out to touch Tara’s hair softly.

“B-but you aren’t fine. You’re different.” Tara said softly, looking away from her.

Willow became agitated at her attitude. She got up and faced Tara.

“I am different. People change, don’t they? Is it the power? Does that scare you? Or are you just jealous because you’re still struggling with simple spells and I can raise the dead?” Willow said cruelly.

Tara looked at her shocked at how cold her demeanor had become. Her words cut right through her. She felt a tear fall down her cheek.

“I don’t even know who you are anymore.” She said quietly.

“I’m still me. Just better. If you don’t like it, then maybe you should just leave.” Willow said putting her hands on her hips.

Tara looked at her and said nothing. Her tears fell harder and she blinked them away. It was almost as if she were staring right into the eyes of a stranger. She slowly got to her feet and turned to face Willow.

“I think you need help. Let me help you.” Tara said, attempting to reach out to her.

“You’re the one that needs help. You’re just trying to hold me back.” Willow said, not responding to Tara’s touch.

“I love you and I won’t let you destroy yourself.” Tara said softly as she turned and walked out the door.

Willow stared at the door for a moment, then broke down and cried. She had no idea what she was doing. She had just driven away the most important person in her life. She was just tired of being second guessed. Tara may have meant well, but Willow didn’t like being watched so carefully. It made her feel like Tara didn’t trust her.

Willow felt like she was losing everything. Buffy was her best friend, and she wouldn’t even talk to her anymore. And now Tara, the love of her life, had just walked out. It was her fault though. She had told her to leave. Willow felt like the walls were closing in on her. She had to fix this. She had to get Tara back. And she had to get her to stop worrying so much. She needed Tara to trust her. She needed someone on her side no matter what.

Willow slowly went over to the nightstand and opened the drawer with the amulet in it. She picked up the pouch and took the heart out. She took a deep breath and put it around her neck. Then she reached under the bed and pulled out a small spell book.

She had taken the book from the Magic Box. When she had learned that El Corazón de la oscuridad was in Sunnydale, she had quickly snuck upstairs to where the special books were stored. She had read about the amulet there before, and she knew that the spell to invoke it was in the same book. She knew that the amulet was fueled by evil power, but she thought that if she didn’t use it for evil, it would be okay. She had control of the power and she could use it for good instead of evil.

Invoking el corazón would give her enough power to do spells that even she had never tried before. She felt the powerful energy of the amulet around her neck and it was intoxicating. He was calling out to her. She opened the spell book and began to read aloud.

Corazón bendecido

Grant yo el corazón sagrado

de la potencia invoco el thee

Tarkin oigo mis súplicas

Blessed heart

Grant me the power

Sacred heart

I invoke thee

Tarkin hear my pleas

As she recited the incantation, the blue light from the crystal shot out and enveloped Willow’s neck. She clutched at her throat, as the light entered her mouth and disappeared into her body. She stepped back and looked around out of breath.

She felt different now. She could feel a sense of power that she had never felt before. She felt like she could do anything. She smiled to herself.

“See? It’s not evil. It’s just really cool.” She said to herself.

Then she sighed and walked over to her night stand. She picked up a candle and lit it. Spells and incantations were swirling around her head. Things she hadn’t known before. It was almost like having a spell book encyclopedia running through her brain. The need for written spells was gone. Everything was already in her head. She focused on the one she wanted and began to recite it.

What was wrong must now be right

What was broken shall be mended

What was learned must be forgotten

Blinding trust there must be

With power of Tarkin

Return to me

She recited the spell and the heart glowed brightly around her neck. When it dimmed she sat back on the bed with a satisfied smile. She took the amulet off and put it back into the pouch. Then she sat back on the bed and waited to see if it worked.

Fifteen minutes later, Tara walked into the room with a smile.

“Hey, Sweetie. You waited up for me.” Tara said going over to give Willow a kiss.

“Of course. I always wait for you.” Willow said sweetly.

“I love you, Willow.” Tara said softly as she clutched Willow tightly.

“I love you too.” Willow said smirking over her shoulder. “You’re not worried still, are you?”

Tara pulled back and looked at her blankly.

“Worried about what?” She asked.

“Nothing. Never mind.” Willow said, pulling Tara back down onto the bed with her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Buffy woke up and found herself snuggled up against Spike’s chest. His arms were wrapped around her loosely and she smiled at how comfy it felt. She hadn’t actually intended to fall asleep there, but she also could bring herself to leave either.

She had glanced at the clock and noticed it was still really early, only 5:30am. She sighed happily and rested her head back down onto his chest. She felt him begin to stir and he looked down at her. Then he looked over at the clock.

“You can’t sleep?” He asked softly.

“I was sleeping. I just woke up.” She said with a small yawn.

“Are you leaving me now?” He asked with a look of disappointment.

“I should. I don’t want Mistress Willow to worry about me again.” She said with sarcasm.

“No. I want you here with me.” He said, pulling her up for a kiss.

She smiled into his kiss.

“I stayed here with you all night. Isn’t that enough?” She asked him jokingly.

“No. It won’t ever be enough.” He said stroking her hair softly.

“Stop. You’re trying to sweet talk me. It won’t work.” She teased him.

“It worked last night. Look where it got you.” He said with a small smirk.

She slapped his chest and rolled her eyes.

“You’re such a jerk.”

“I know.” He sighed.

She sat up and pulled the covers around her. She leaned over and searched the floor for her clothes. She picked up her underwear and her jeans.

“Where’s the rest of it?” She asked him.

“Probably over there.” He said pointing across the room. “I wasn’t exactly paying attention. I just needed to get them off.”

She pulled her pants on and got up to search for the top half of her clothing. He watched and admired her with a smile.

“I kind of like that outfit.” He said with a smirk, taking in her topless-ness.

“You would.” She rolled her eyes.

She found the rest of her things and pulled them on. Then she sat down on the edge of the bed to put her shoes on. He sat up and moved her hair away. Then he kissed the back of her neck softly, as he caressed her shoulders. She smiled.

“Will I see you tonight?” He asked hopefully.

Now that he had her, he wasn’t eager to let her out of his sight again.

“Maybe.” She said nonchalantly.

He grabbed her and pulled her back down on the bed with him, playfully pinning her arms over her head.

“I’m not letting you leave until I have a guarantee.” He said with a smirk.

“Do you want it in writing?” She asked playfully.

“That would be nice.” He said, leaning down to kiss her passionately.

He pulled away and noticed the large smile across her face. She was happy. She was happy and he was the reason. Nothing in this world meant more to him than that.

“I’ll come by later. We can patrol or something.” She told him with a smile.

“Hmm, I like the ‘or something’ part.” He smirked as he released her arms and allowing her to sit up.

She leaned over and kissed him gently. She pulled back and smiled at him, then she hopped off the bed.

“I’ll see you tonight.” She smiled.

“I can’t wait.”

He watched her climb the ladder and disappear. He laid back down on the bed and sighed happily. A few months ago, his entire world had ended. And now, it was given back to him, better than ever. He had the girl of his dreams. The girl he never thought he’d see again, much less be able to love.

He only wished he knew what she felt for him. It hadn’t gone unnoticed that she wouldn’t return his sentiments when he told her how much he loved her. But he wasn’t going to push. She was with him and that was enough. Maybe she didn’t love him, but she certainly felt something. She had to, or she wouldn’t have done what she had done last night. And three times at that. Life was good. He hoped she felt that way too.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Part Two-Turbulence

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