Dave
Is known throughout the land
To play women well and grand
And as the Bad doctor, he turns swastika shaped scars into happy men dancing
He’s an axe murderer who chops up his neigbors while prancing
Hecubus sprinkles evil in the air
Jocyeln is on the corner smoking
Ashes matching the color of her night black hair
On the Subject Of Me
He introduces a fact
About his double sized spleen
Folk songs are definatley better than the rock of today
And
Jerry Sizzler explains, “I have not gone insane!”

Kevin McDonald
Is the man of the hour
As he shouts across the office
“I’ve gone mad with power!”
The Pit of Ultimate Darkness is his lair
Where evil does hang
Like a chep perfume in the air
I guess it “slipped his mind”
There is “Nobody Home!”
And I’m sure if he tried,
Could write a better poem,
But as the show closes
Darcy Pennel’s
Voice get’s tighter
“Join me tomorow, I’ll be riding with the hell riders!”

Mark
Was once a captain of his own cruise ship
But then it went down
And Skora took a lick
He brings his fingers close together
As he watches people tread
“Hello citizens
“I’m crushing your heads!”
Chicken Ladies don’t care at all
To be called “bird brains”
Chew your omlet carefuly,
Celebrate Mozart’s birthday,
And if someone by the name of Tanya
Wants some pot to smoke
Go ahead and give, give, give,
But I’m warning you,
my friends,
she’ll only hold it in

Bruce Mculloch
Sings a song
Reminises about his dog
Who happens to be a terrier
There really is no better breed
Just how bad of a cop do you think he could be?
Sometimes the only thing to do is
Pour coffee on your heart
Yes, Bobby says, "I can say my own words and think my own thoughts."
And "Thank you Satan! I sell shoes!"
There's so many occupations to choose
Maybe it's time to measure navel depth
'Cause it's Phil from the warehouse with the pains in his head.

Scott Thompson
Takes a stab at the ham with haste
Fran makes it too salty
At least for her husbands taste
Buddy Cole does another monolouge
Just look at his hair
A definate trademark for flair
Danny Husk made some musk
Cathy with a C's no stranger
To the morning coffee buzz
Francesca Fiore with a hand on the door,
"Ah, Bruno. In rapitdo."

Smokin' On A Night Train Chewin' On A Jelly Role

Smokin' on a night train, chewin' on a jelly role,
Somkin' on a night train, chewin' on a jelly role,
I'm runnin' up a flag without a poll,
I'm walkin' on a shoe without a sole,
Smokin' on a night train, chewin' on a jelly role.
(Ok here I come, lesson one.)
You can't cook an egg unless you got yourself a frying pan.
(You know it's the truth.)
You can't cook an egg unless you got yourself a frying pan.
You shouldn't rob a bank without a plan,
You shouldn't use your tongue to stop a fan.
Smokin' on a night train, chewin' on a jelly role.

(Now here come lesson number two)
Shouldn't wanna do it if you don't want to not do it right.
Eba-dabba-dooba-daba-deba-do, all right.
(I ain't makin' this up.)
You don't go dancin' in the day,
You don't go golfin' at night.
Smokin' on a night train, chewin' on a jelly role.
Yeah.
Smokin' on a night train, chewin' on a jelly role.

Hey, boy, yeah you!
I'm a talkin' to you
Don't make assumptions so fast
"Cause if ya do, boy, you know ya aren't goin' ta last
Shouldn't judge peoples ya don't know
Shouldn't say men are worthless without their toes
Shouldn't stand around and watch blood flow
Shouldn't take the time to watch flowers grow
and ya shouldn't make a death pact
Ya, just don't make assumptions so fast
That's all I'm sayin'
Do you judge a book by it's cover?
Do you get angry, an ex murder's lover?
No.
So don't stand on the wrong side of the tracks
And for goodness sakes,
Don't scratch a hairy man's back
Don't run round naked at night
Don't start with your landlord, a fight
But most of all,
Don't judge a book by its cover
Cause a duck could be very well somebody's mother
yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah
somebody's mother
Oh yeah!

I got the blues
And I'll tell ya why
I'm hotter than the summer sky,
Hotter than a lava flow
Yeah, hotter than you would know
hotter than a freshly baked role
Hotter than what you can bowl,
I'm hot, hot, hotter than you would know.

Now, I'm not hot in the sense I'm good lookin'
But hot in the sense that I'm cookin'
Hot, hot, hotter than you would know

Now since I got these blues
I have some advice for you
Now if you're a girl take heed
If you're a girl, listen to me...
If you're a girl
Don't ya pee standin' up
I repeat, now, if you're a girl
Don't tinkle standin' up
It'll only get ya in trouble
"Cause you don't know where that yellow stuff's runnin'
If you're a girl,
Don't go peein' standin' up.

Now here's the second piece of advice I have
Don't give up your hand
If you're a blues singer like me,
Don't give up your hand
'Cause a blues singer without a hand
Is like a patented yellow guitar band
If your a blues singer,
Don't cut off your hand
No sir ma'am

Yeah, I have the blues
I'm a sweatin' in my shoes
Not in the sense
I'm a nervous wreck
But in the sense that the humidity's gone up last I checked
And fungus is growin' on my toes
And I'm hot, hot, hotter than you would know....
I'm hot, hot, hotter than you would know