Macster - The Missing Links

The smell of cooking eggs was heavenly. Tony was leaning over the pan to inhale it deeper when the voice right beside him made him jump.

"What good is an omelet with nothing to put in it?"

Tony turned. One of the mushrooms had spoken. He hadn't noticed them before, but they were all over the island. He had thought they were moss when he climbed up, but the slimy feeling under his fingers had been actual fungus. And they had little pinched faces.

The mushroom was swaying back and forth in time to the music, and it smiled. "Some mushrooms like us, for instance."

He smiled sardonically at the fungus. "Forget it. I'm not gonna eat you!"

"We weren't suggesting you should," it replied smoothly. It had a mellow, deep voice, and it sounded like it was high on any one of a number of drugs, maybe even all of them. "We were just trying to point out the tarragon, over there."

Tony turned and follow the mushroom's gaze. There did seem to be a lot of leafy, fragrant plants along that side of the island. He plucked a few leaves and sniffed deeply. "Smells like the real thing."

"It is the real thing!" another mushroom insisted. "It's one of the essential ingredients of a mushroom omelet."

Tony chuckled. Persistent little things, he'd give them that. "I'm not gonna get caught that way." He stirred the eggs.

"A mushroom omelet," the first mushroom said soothingly. "Nice glass of chateau swamp...a little snooze..." The other mushrooms made snoring sounds.

This was no longer so amusing. "All right, knock it off," he snapped. He didn't know why they were so eager to be eaten anyway. Did they have a death wish?

"Well, at least have a drink," the fungus said placatingly. "You look parched."

Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm not drinking any swamp water!"

"I know it's not the clearest thing in the world," the mushroom said, blithely ignoring him, "but it does pack a punch. It'll take you right up the beanstalk and back." It grinned. "Wanna see?"

Tony was finding himself extremely tempted, so he was glad when a voice suddenly called out to him. "Dad?"

He turned and to his surprise saw Virginia picking her way through the spongy earth and scummy water toward the island. "Virginia!"

"Dad! Oh, hi!" She hurried forward and soon reached the edge of the island. Tony helped her up onto the relatively dry land. "Thank God, I never thought I'd see you again..."

He beamed at her and gave her a squeeze, then gestured at the pan. "You want an omelet?"

Virginia looked at the eggs hungrily, then eyed him closely. "You aren't drinking the swamp water, are you?"

He tried to look innocent. "Of course not!"

She didn't seem sure she believed him, but instead she yawned and rubbed at her eyes. "Let's get out of here, I can hardly keep my eyes open."

Funny, but now that she mentioned it he was extraordinarily tired as well. "I know, me too," he yawned. "Tell you what, just come up here and have a seat, nice little island. Five minutes, that's all."
Virginia did as he asked, settling down onto the island beside him. "Okay, but we cannot fall asleep, no matter what."

"That was fantastic," Virginia mumbled through her last bites of omelet.

Tony smiled and sighed contentedly even as he blinked and tried to keep his eyes open. The omelet was so good that it almost sent him tripping, he remembered the feeling well from his college days. Must have been those mushrooms. He hadn't even realized when he'd plucked a large batch of them and stirred them into the omelet, and by the time he saw what he'd done, the incredible smell wafting up had taken hold of him.

Virginia was looking at the remaining mushrooms, which were still swaying, her expression vapid and unfocused. "Those mushrooms are far out."

He chuckled and casually dipped the tin cup he'd found in one of the rucksacks into the swamp, dipping out a cupful and sipping. The mushroom was right, this stuff was amazing.

"Dad!" Virginia cried, suddenly alert. "What are you doing?"

"What?" He rolled his eyes and gestured at her. "You've had three cups!"

Virginia froze in the act of lifting another tin cup to her mouth. She looked at it, and then she laughed. "Three? I had three?" Tony laughed with her. It was so hilarious, how she'd lost control like that when she never did.

He looked around the island as the music of Procal Harem swelled louder again. The warmth of the fire lulled him. "You know, I'm gonna lie down for a little while now. So it's really essential...you stay awake..."

He stretched out so that his pants could dry, and then he closed his eyes, just for a minute. He knew he shouldn't fall asleep, and he wouldn't. Not really. He'd just rest his eyes for a few minutes....

Virginia, heedless of his words, crawled to Tony's side and wobbled on her hands and knees as she gazed down at the mushrooms. Now she could hear "A Whiter Shade of Pale", the mushrooms were singing it, swaying gently from side to side. She smiled fondly at them. What nice mushrooms they were, offering themselves to travelers, giving them such a delicious, intoxicating meal, and then singing their visitors to sleep so they could get a much-needed rest before traveling on...

She lay down beside her father, resting her head on her arm. At first she couldn't get to sleep because the mushrooms were getting louder and her father was singing along in his sleep, horribly off-key. But then even that faded into the background. Faded...faded...

Virginia floated through a melange of images and sounds, scraps of memories and daydreams and fairy tales all blended together. She thought she heard a soft rustling, as of growing plants, but it seemed so far away. Much closer was the voice of Snow White, as she stood in the ice cavern and stretched out her arms to Virginia.

"Virginia, wake up! Wake up, Virginia!"

Tossing and turning, she found herself in her bed, the bed she had slept in as a child--in fact she was indeed a little girl again, in her pristine white room. Letting out a soft shriek, she threw back the covers and sat up. "Mommy, mommy!"

And then her mother was there, so sweet and beautiful, and she put her arms around her, and Virginia knew everything would be all right. "It's all right. You were just having a bad dream."

Calming down, Virginia said in her child's voice, "Tell me a story."

Her mother sat on the bed and held her hands. "All right. Once upon a time, there was a lovely little girl who lived on the edge of the forest." Strangely, as she spoke her mother was combing Virginia's hair with the poisoned comb from the stepmother's crypt. Her voice turned hard and had a brittleness to it. "Her mommy told her never to go into the forest, but do you know what she did?"

"No!" Virginia's heart raced with fear.

"Yes, you do," her mother said with a cold smile. "She went into the forest, and she met a monster, and she died. And everyone forgot about her, and we all lived happily ever after..."

Virginia shrieked and tried to pull away, but her mind was suddenly filled with the image of Wolf running toward her. She reached out her arms...

And he melted away, and she was alone in the forest. No, not alone. Her father and Prince Wendell were there, floating along the path, each wearing crowns, while her father sat on a gilded throne upon a dais, wearing his janitor's uniform. Yet she did not question this oddity, just as she did not question the fact that she was dressed like royalty, wearing a gorgeous white silk dress adorned with pearls and a heavy crown of satin and gold.

"Virginia!" Her father called peremptorily. "Virginia, where are you? I need you!"

She supposed she had better find out what the hell he wanted. She pulled a cell phone out of the basket she was carrying and dialed his number. As soon as he picked up, she started talking. "Dad, hi, it's me. Look, I just had to run away, but I left you some pies. Just pop them in the microwave, you can't go wrong."

"Wait a minute!" Tony protested. "You can't run out on me, that's what your mother did! You're my princess, I miss you." He sounded so sad, but she couldn't find it in her heart to feel any sympathy. He was just holding her back from her true calling in life. She knew this, for as she looked down in the basket she saw some of Wolf's self-help books, and she knew they had proved to her how she was meant for so many better things than everybody else.

Tony was still talking uselessly. "Plus, I've got a seven-year-old son here." He gestured at Wendell. "You should be taking care of him."

Virginia was furious. Relegating her to the women's position again? She held up the phone and yelled into it. "Oh, I'm glad you've got a son now, at least that should make you happy!"

She threw the phone and it shattered against a tree trunk. Through the spray of plastic and metal she saw a vision of Snow White again, but she ignored it, because there were apples in the basket now, more beautiful and red and ripe than any she had ever seen. She reached down and picked one up, lifting it to her face and rubbing it against her lips, her cheek, tasting and smelling its richness.

Snow White was imploring her with hands outstretched, but she seemed to be receding into the distance, as if something were pushing her away. "Wake up, wake up, or all is lost!"

But she wasn't asleep, she was wide awake and about to take a bite of the most succulent apple she would ever taste. Murmuring and moaning in pleasure, she opened her mouth and took a huge bite.

It went down easily at first, and the taste was as divine and delicious as she'd known it would be. But then a piece caught in Virginia's throat, almost seeming to swell and throb cruelly, and she began to choke. She tried to swallow it, or spit it out, but it wouldn't go either way. It remained firmly lodged there.

It felt as if something were wrapped around her body, constricting her, and around her throat, choking the life out of her. And then she was in her bedroom, being buried under a mountain of apples. She tried to scream and couldn't. She was growing faint. She dropped the basket and fell to her knees.

Around her the forest grew dark, and she could no longer see her father or Wendell, but she could still see the silhouette of their dais floating by. "Come on, I'm an electrician here, what's going on?" Tony demanded. Then his voice became strained, frightened. "Lights, turn on the lights! I'm not gonna sit here in the dark!"

But he was, and so was she. Lights danced before her eyes, and then she fell, her crown toppling from her head, her cheek slamming into the forest loam, the apple still caught in her throat. Her lungs were bursting, she couldn't breathe. Slowly, her eyes closed, and she faded into the same darkness that had claimed her father....