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Back to La La Land
by Danii

"It's your turn, Wolf..."

"No it's not, Nick!"

"Yes it is!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Stop being a cub and move the checker, Wolf..."

"But if I do, you're going to jump me!"

"That's the point of the game, Wolf."

"Well, I... how come you always win!?"

"Because I used to be a soldier, I have eight hundred years of experience, and I had to play checkers with a Roman general for the first six hundred or so every night!" Nick said with a chuckle, "It's like school. It's hell when you're doing it, but you can really impress your parents during Jeopardy!"

"Huh?" Wolf grunted, entirely confused.

Nick gave him a withering look, then got up from the checkers table. Angel, who was absorbed in a game of Parchesi with Benton, glanced up at the elder vampire with an understanding smile.

"What a great life..." Wolf grumbled at Nick's back, "We get to play dumb board games all day, or night, or WHENEVER, but only until one of us has a flashback (Wolf had experienced one of these shortly after his "wedding" and many more; he was ready to kill the next person who even mentioned the song "Bonny Portmore") or the author starts a fiction! And even if we do leave, it feels like we didn't cause we can't remember anything! ARRRROOOOOO!"

His howl was interupted by a swift kick from Spike, who was in a particularly bad mood because he'd finally gotten into a fic. The fact that the fic had him dressing up like Marilyn Monroe, Princess Leia, and Dorothy in front of a camera with Lucien LaCroix, a particularly bothersome old chap from Nick's dimension was the real kicker to his dignity.

Wolf kicked him back.

"You made it sound so...GREAT up here and it's getting to be my time of the month and I feel like-"

He stopped when he realized the rest of the guys were looking at him oddly.

"Not like that... I just get angry, and hungry, and sick..."

The looks didn't get any better.

"It's not like that!"

Finally the guys stopped, though Spike did nothing to hold his grin.

Nick, who was the unofficial leader of the little group, gave Spike a glare. "Leave him be, he hasn't seen his girl for a while and we all knew how that was like!"

"What do you mean, you knew what it WAS like?" Wolf asked, not liking this at all. During his first visit, the guys had supposedly told him everything, but it seemed everytime something happened, there was another little piece of vitally important information that they "forgot about". It was getting on his nerves...

"Nobody told you?" Doyle asked, getting into the conversation due to a lack of anything better to do, "You can see your heroine whenever you want!"

"HOW?" asked Wolf, his eyes wide with excitement.

"That's easy," interupted Tommy, "You just find the mind of a male fanfiction writer!"

"A male fanfiction writer? You mean, you can go to other minds?"

"Not really..." continued the youngest, "You find your girl in the mind of a male fanfiction writer, and tell her to meet you in the blank place!"

"Blank place?" Wolf was completely confused. Blank place? Why did everything have to be so complicated?

"Yeah," said Duncan, "The blank place...It's the place where the Author is supposed to be doing her math homework, but it's never used, so we use it for dates!"

"Okay..." Wolf said, more than a little nonplussed, "How do I get there? And how come I can't just go to Virginia?"

"Because she's in another mind! But, she can leave that mind and go to you because of the TASSP..." Nick picked up.

"The TASSP? What's that?"

"The 'The Author Said So Principle'. Since the Author told us that and set it up this way, that's how it is. Don't know how it works, but that's it. Never said it was logical..."

Wolf gave Nick a bit of a look, then asked "But how do I do it?"

Nick pulled him to the side and started to explain...

~*~*~

"Wolf, where are we?" Virginia asked.

Wolf thought back to his discussion with the guys...It didn't make all that much sense to him, so he'd never be able to explain.

"Somewhere strange, Virginia..." he answered simply.

"Can't be stranger then the place I've been in for a while," Virginia remarked.

"Where have you been?" asked Wolf anxiously. He didn't want to find out she'd had other men around her when he wasn't there to protect her.

"This really odd place that smells of beer and pretzels... And there are all these women there too..."

"Oh?" the half-wolf asked, intrigued, "Who?"

"Well, there's this lady doctor by the name of Natalie, and apparently, she was one of the ladies at our wedding, remember? The one with the red hair? Oh, and there's this really crazy chick with long dark hair named Drusilla who won't stop talking about stars... Not to mention the blonde. Buffy. Man, it's amazing seeing her workout! She's punched holes in the Author's ideas so badly... And the other dark haired girl, a little flighty, named Cordelia! Ugh!"

"Wow... It seems you've met some interesting people..." Wolf said with a laugh. Considering the kind of talk he normally heard about these women (lovey dovey talk about how wonderful they are and how much the guys wished they could get together), it was amusing to hear it from someone unbiased.

"So, Virginia," Wolf asked slyly, "Let's get off of where we've been and discuss where we're going! How about a moonlit dinner in Kissingtown?"

And it was...

"Hey Nick?" Wolf asked when he got back.

"Yeah?"

"How come I never see you guys go out?"

"Well," said Nick carefully, "We do. You know when I get really tired and fall asleep?"

"Yeah?"

"That's it!" Nick said, "That's what happened to you too, though you didn't know it. And the only reason I found out was because I was told by Angel!"

"Oh"

"So, Nick? Virginia and I were thinking..."

"What?"

"Well, what about a double date later on?"

Nick looked surprised and honored.

"Sure, Wolf. Thanks for asking..."

"But one thing before that?"

"Yes Wolf?"

"Play you another game of checkers..."

Fin

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