A.N.D. - Wolf Woods

“The craziest part is, I didn’t even mean it!” Wendell was perched gingerly on the edge of a fountain, away from the silly yellow dog which was chasing that flying toy that was the current rage in the kingdom. The dog looked blissfully happy, and Wendell suppressed a shudder. In his nightmares, he remembered going all doggy and wanting to do nothing but spend his days playing like that.

“If you didn’t mean it, why did you threaten to send the wolves again?” Lord Anthony patted his pet’s head and flung the toy again. Wendell noticed that the heads of several of the wolf servants snapped around to track the motion before they returned to their work.

“I just wanted to make sure that the old Troll King’s children didn’t come back over the border. It will take years for those towns to rebuild all the way anyway; they don’t need more damage. It’s so strange, though. I was always the Playboy Prince, nobody really took me all that seriously. Now all of a sudden I’m the most feared ruler in all of the Nine Kingdoms. I don’t know if I like that.”

“It got all of your prisoners back.”

“It got me every human left in the Third Kingdom! But at least the former captives are all praising the efficiency of Wendell’s Wolves. It helps that I’m not the only person in the kingdom who feels grateful to a wolf, now. But that’s not why I came here today. I wanted to see your new invention.”

“Invention?” Lord Anthony looked confused. “I don’t have any new inventions. I haven’t even had time to think about inventing for the last week, it’s been busy.”

“Oh.” Wendell was surprised at how disappointed he was. “You ordered all that livestock and those building materials; I thought maybe you had some new Tenth-Kingdom style of farming to show me. I was hoping it would help me rejuvenate the border towns.”

“No, that’s for tonight.”

“Oh, you’re throwing a party? Is that what... what do wolves do on the full moon? All I remember is our Wolf getting in trouble for eating chickens and then being accused of murder.”

“I don’t really know the details,” Anthony confessed. “But Sebastian here does.”

Wendell turned to see the secretary leaning out of a side door. “I was looking for you, m’lord,” he told Anthony. “There is a new lady just arrived. Another supposed relative of The Wolf’s. She answered all the questions correctly.”

“Same deal as always,” Anthony grunted. “Tell her she has to work for a week to see how serious she is, then I’ll meet her.” Over his shoulder he added to Wendell, “I’ve discovered that making them work does a lot to weed out the folks who just are in it for the fame.”

The secretary nodded and was about to withdraw, when Wendell asked, “What is all that livestock for?”

“Dinner. We can’t get in trouble for eating it if we bought it properly, now can we? We all pooled our wages.”

Wendell blinked. He was right, and it was an embarrassingly simple solution to the whole problem of wolfy appetites. And now that he thought about it, they hadn’t bought any more than had been slaughtered for his own coronation feast. “What about the building supplies?”

Sebastian pointed down the hill to a brick wall that was just being finished. Wendell had supposed it was going to be a formal enclosed garden, but as he stood on the side of the fountain to see over the wall, he realized that there was nothing but grass inside. It was a very large enclosure, though.

“Unmated wolves must hunt during the full moon, it is part of us. So we will let the livestock and our young ones loose in there, where they can follow their natures without... disturbing... anyone else.”

Wendell asked without thinking. “What do the mated wolves do?”

Sebastian smirked at him, and Wendell blushed.

The wolf climbed up on the fountain next to him, balancing lightly on the balls of its.. no, his… feet. “Next month, we’re going to add a fishpond to the hunting pen. And in the future we’ll build a training pen for teaching our little ones how to hunt, and we’ll get some of our cousins to raise our livestock so we don’t have to import it all, and we’ll...” He was carried away, enthusiastically gesturing around as he described his future heaven. One big sweep of his arms almost knocked him off the fountain.

Thinking only of counterbalances, Wendell asked, “Why is your tail hidden? We all know you’re a wolf.”

Now it was Sebastian’s turn to blush, and he quietly stepped down from the fountain’s lip. “We all know, but it is easier for the people in the village that they not be reminded of it every time I go there for supplies. I hope...” he sighed and tried again. “I hope that tomorrow morning, when none of their fears of us rampaging through their streets come true, they will be less afraid of us.” A moment ago, he’d been all bouncy and happy; now his shoulders slumped slightly and all his energy was gone. “If you’ll excuse me, your Majesty, m’lord, I’ll go inform Miss Elizabeth of your decision.”

Wendell watched him go unhappily. What would tonight bring?

The council chamber seemed like a whole new room when everyone in it was happy. There had been some murmuring of surprise when Lord Anthony came in with his Sebastian trotting right behind him; Wendell hadn’t realized until that moment how many people had been expecting Anthony to have been eaten right up during the full moon three days ago. He squinted at Sebastian, who looked the same as he ever had. Whatever had happened on Lord Anthony’s estate, no one was talking.

Well, no one was complaining either, at least not of wolf attacks. He had been told that all the howling kept most of the humans up all night and unsettled the livestock in the surrounding farms, but there was not one complaint of a wolf attack.

Well... not from the area around Lord Anthony’s castle, at least.

“A masterstroke of diplomacy, Sire!” Even Griswold was in a good mood. Mark that down on the calendar! “I have here messages from all the other kingdoms!” He waved nine brightly-colored, gilt-edged scrolls in the air, then set them down and unscrolled one. “Queen Leaf-Fall sends greetings and pledges mutual peace and protection between our kingdoms!”

Cheers and applause greeted the announcement, growing louder after every new proclamation. “Queen Cinderella says that she stands as ever in support of the House of White!” “The Naked Emperor says that he will hide nothing from you!” Loud laughter greeted that one, as well as a few raspberries.

Wendell grew giddy with laughter and relief. Even Queen Red III’s message, although it had been snippy, pledged peace between the kingdoms, and the Troll Trio, now terrified of him, sent something full of misspellings and groveling. Finally, things were working out! His people were rescued, his kingdom secure-at last, they were getting to the happily ever after part!

The scroll from the Ninth Kingdom was tiny, as befitted the dwarves, and Chancellor Griswold had left it for last. They, of course, were as good as pledged anyway; nothing could break the alliance between dwarves and a descendant of Snow White!

Griswold broke the seal, and his face fell. Into a suddenly cold and silent room, he handed the message to Wendell, who read out loud:

“TO: Wendell Winston Walter White, King of the Fourth Kingdom
FROM: Warwick, Dwarf Union Leader of the Ninth Kingdom
RE: Requested Treaty
The alliance between the Dwarf Kingdom and the House of White has been unshaken since the day your most excellent grandmother came to us for sanctuary. In the memory of those great days, the Ninth Kingdom wishes you well.
However, we cannot and will not ally ourselves with you while you harbor the mirror-murderer Anthony Lewis. He is wanted in our kingdom on 30 counts of the capital crime of destroying a magical mirror within our borders, plus another count of destroying the travelling mirror while journeying with you. While you give sanctuary to that criminal, there will be no treaties between our kingdoms. Turn him over, execute him for us, or break forever the bond between the Dwarves and the House of White.”

You could have heard a pin drop in the next castle as everyone turned to stare at Lord Anthony the Valiant.