A.N.D. - Wolf Woods

“Oh, my God!” A lot of weird things in this weird world had shocked Virginia, but this ranked up there as the most unbelievable. “Oh, my god!” She leaned closer to the painting. “People really think I look like this? Gross! This is awful!”

“They got your eyes crooked and your nose is too long,” Wolf complained.

“That’s not what I’m complaining about! That portrait makes me look like a Barbie with implants! Dad, how could you let them paint stuff like this?”

Dad just shrugged. “What am I supposed to tell them, that you’d prefer to be remembered as flat chested?”

Wolf, predictably, hadn’t minded that part of artistic interpretation. “Maybe they’ll get that big when you’re nursing.”

“If they ever grow that big I’ll snap right in half!” The way that wolf focused on tits, you’d think he’d have obsessions with cows instead of sheep. Maybe he had tried, but the cows kicked him. She sure wanted to clop him one!

Wendell, the instigator of all of this, just studied his fingernails casually. “May I tell the royal artist that you no longer object to spending a few days sitting for an official portrait while we work out a unified message for the wolves?”

“Do whatever you have to do to make everyone stop looking at that picture from Kissingtown!”

“Oh, the original isn’t that bad,” Wendell admitted. “I’ve seen it.”

Wolf got that crooked, mischievous grin. “Only the... legend... got bigger in the retelling?”

MEN! Virginia flounced off to look at the other portraits. Snow she felt she knew personally, although this picture must have been painted soon after her wedding, before she had become as... matronly... as Virginia remembered. Cinderella’s was equally idealized, removing a good 200 years from the woman at the coronation. It’s still strange to think that people live that long here. Will I have a longer life if I stay on this side of the mirror? Will I want to? Red Riding Hood was a petite blonde, practically the spitting image of the too-too polished woman Virginia remembered seeing. Unlike her descendant, this Red was wearing a practical outfit of sturdy materials. Gretel was another sturdy, no-nonsense woman, while Rapunzel was tall and thin, with so much hair that Virginia was reminded of pictures of Lady Godiva.

The throne room looked much different than it had when they'd gotten their awards. Before, it had been plain; all eyes would turn naturally to the only ornate thing there, the throne. Now there was the horrible portrait that Wendell hopefully planned to replace on one wall, the four life-sized and one larger-than-life paintings directly opposite the throne, and on the other wall was... a mirror? Virginia squinted at it, instinctively checking her makeup. She looked fine, but Wolf had let his tail fall out again. She turned to tell him...

... and realized that his tail was still securely tucked down his pants, as it always was here. Of course-it must be the truth mirror! As she looked wonderingly back into the glass, she saw her husband walk over to the portraits, perusing them with glowing eyes and a gently wagging tail. But another look backwards showed him looking as human as always.

Weird. With a shiver, Virginia walked back to the others as Wolf told her father, “Do you know, I dreamed about these women?”

Dad just shrugged. “I dream about a lot of women.”

“I keep them here for inspiration,” Wendell admitted. “I keep hoping that, I don’t know, their spirit will fill me and show me the way.”

“If you wanna be filled with your grandma’s spirit, you should go to her cottage,” Wolf said casually.

“Her cottage? That’s been lost for centuries! It’s probably been destroyed by now.”

“It’s kinda trashed, but it’s still there,” Wolf corrected. He turned to her for corroboration. “You remember, don’t you, lambchop?”

“I remember having hair out of Crystal Gayle’s nightmares and being confused and scared, that’s what I remember!”

“Do you remember where it is?” Wendell sounded terribly eager over a nasty old hut covered in graffiti with leaks in the roof.

“You were gold, Virginia was cursed, and the Huntsman was on our tail. We didn’t have time to mark a map or anything.”

“Oh. Of course.” Wendell stared at the portrait of his grandmother silently for a moment. Was that-that was a tear on his cheek! Virginia was trying to think of something soothing to say, when Wendell snapped back to his cheerfully regal self, slapping his hands together and rubbing them. “Who’d like to have an early dinner?”

Wolf, of course, agreed instantly. Although she was embarrassed to admit it, Virginia had to admit that she also thought it was a great idea. She could hardly wait until this pregnancy was over-she was eating like all three of the little pigs!

But Dad, who usually was also a dedicated eater, just grunted. “Sorry, I thought of something I have to do back at the lab.” He smiled at them, and Virginia’s every silent alarm went off. She knew that look all too well!

“Dad, what are you scheming?” she hissed as they left the room, lagging behind the others.

“Nothing, honey.”

“Your ‘nothing honeys’ always got us into the worst trouble!”

“That was before.” He wrapped her in a reassuring squeeze, kissing the top of her head. “This isn’t a get-rich-quick plan and it’s not a con. I just thought of a way to, uh, clean up an old mess.”

And with that, she had to be content.

While Wolf worried a bone at breakfast, his mind worried a problem. As soon as he swallowed, he turned to Wendell. “What about Littlebit and Virginia? We don’t really know how all the wolves are gonna react to me. I don’t want my pack to be in danger when I go. They’ll be safer with you, don’t you think?”

“I’ll be the judge of that!” his luscious mate snapped. “If I was going to sit at home while you gallivant about, I’d still be in New York.”

Ordinarily, he’d adore his darling’s spirit, but not when his cub was also at stake! Just last night he’d had a terrible nightmare that this time he’d arrived to her rescue a moment too late after a wolf attack. Who better than he knew the dangers she really faced? And Littlebit! She was cursed, she could never protect herself.

“I’ll be able to concentrate better if I knew you were safe,” he said with what he hoped was leader-like finality.

Which had no effect on Virginia whatsoever. “I’m going with you. It’s going to be equally bad for the baby for me to just sit and wonder all day if you’re okay.”

“But if you go, Littlebit will have to come, and... you know...” He wasn’t going to go into the embarrassing details of the poor girl’s curse in front of the king, but surely Virginia could see the problem!

Wendell broke in. “Your sister... Littlebit? How odd, I thought her name was something else-anyway, I was hoping that now that she’s back, I could get her to reconsider being my royal embroideress. I know she seems to be afraid of staying at this palace, but perhaps she’d be comfortable enough to work out of Anthony’s castle, surrounded by her own kind?”

“She might,” Wolf admitted. Littlebit still steadfastly refused to go near Wendell, doing so only under protest, which was why she was up in her rooms now. Certainly anything would be better than the house arrest she’d put herself under, and now that she was family, surely Tony would take good care of her. Certainly she’d be safer there, protected by their own kind. He’d get Sebastian’s Wolf Word of Honor on it.

So that just left his mate. Wolf looked at her consideringly. Maybe he could try to change her mind while they sat for that portrait?

She glared back with an all-too-familiar stubbornness. He sighed. It was settled. Littlebit would stay with Tony and Virginia would come with him.

Now, if he only knew what he should say to his people...