Debbie Banna - Shattered Dreams, New Beginnings

Loyalina slowed her pace as she retreated into the refuge of the forest and assured herself that she was not being observed. Her mind was awhirl with thoughts that troubled her. How could she possibly believe what her visitor had revealed and still remain in the cottage of the beast? She had always dreamed of a strong, caring man who would one day enter her life and offer her the love for which she longed. Never had she imagined that she might be the object of the affections of a monster. No, he was not a monster. It would be an injustice to label him so. He was gentle and caring and kind. He had offered her a home and his friendship when all else she had in the world was lost to her. But to love him? That was impossible. It would mean she must turn her back on every hope and dream she had created in the secret place of her imagination. To love him she would have to be willing to endure rejection, isolation and the curse of being abnormal in the eyes of the world. Her heart ached for the pain the beast suffered but how could she ever offer to share his life of his isolation and pain. She had once chosen to give up her life for the sake of another and that choice had proven disastrous for all involved. What further sacrifices must she endure? Must she give up her right to happiness to fulfill some nagging of her conscience that prodded her to help someone who dearly needed her aid?

As her thoughts swirled around and around inside her head, Loyalina continued to walk deeper into the wood. Without thinking, she wandered into an area where she had never ventured before. The trees huddled closer together as if to keep trespassers from intruding into their private sanctuary. The sunlight that penetrated their shadowy canopy provided just enough light by which to navigate but revealed little else. Loyalina stopped in her tracks, brought up short by a noise nearby, and suddenly realized how alone and vulnerable she had become. She tensed, her heartbeat pounding rapidly in her ears, and glanced quickly around her for a sign of danger. She felt, before seeing a figure, that she was not alone. A dark silhouette stood before her not more than ten feet away but she could not tell who or what it might be. A cry escaped her lips as she inched backward and bumped into the rough surface of a tree. She whirled as if to run but suddenly realized she did not know to where she would escape. Panic began to overwhelm her as she found herself in a terrifying predicament and not an inclination as to what she should do.

“Do not be afraid, sweet Loyalina,” spoke a voice coming from the direction of the figure. “It is only me,” spoke the beast, reassuringly. “What are you doing so far from home?”

With a sigh of relief, Loyalina, felt the tension drain from her body and she grasped the tree behind her to keep from succumbing to the weakness in her knees. “Oh my stars, you scared me! It’s you, Beast,” she breathed.

“Sit down, dear one before you fall. Rest for a moment. There’s nothing to fear.”

As he spoke, her thoughts returned to the musings of a moment before and she realized that truly she still had something which frightened her as surely as a figure in the dark. She was unsure how she might go on pretending nothing had changed between herself and her friend when, in her own mind, her thoughts had altered greatly. She determined to say little, hoping her hesitancy might go unnoticed.

“There is something wrong,” spoke the beast perceptively. “Why are you in this place alone? What is distressing you, my little friend?” As he spoke, he moved closer to Loyalina and, reflexively she jumped to her feet and shrunk back from his touch. “Are you afraid of me, my friend? Have I done something wrong to cause you to fear me?” he spoke gently, with a touch of sadness.

The woman felt her heart twinge at the thought that she had hurt the beast. With determination, she took a step forward and answered him, “No, my dear friend. You are mistaken.”

He made no move toward her but spoke, doubt evident in his voice. “I feel you are not being truthful with me little one. I can feel your fear. What has happened to cause this change in your heart?” Then, as if a light had been turned on in his mind, he understood. “Ah, I know what has happened. You have been talking with our visitor, have you not? And just what has he told you?” he asked defensively.

“Nothing,” she avoided. “We have spoken of my troubles and how kind you have been to me. We’ve discussed his wife and his past. He is a very sorrowful man,” she said, trying to distract him.

“Yet things have changed much since our conversation before breakfast this morning. And then, I met and spoke with our visitor at length in the woods this day. Did he tell you anything about me? He seemed like a friend I could trust. Was I wrong about him?” the beast asked.

“He did not tell me what you spoke about. He did not betray your trust. We talked of how well you had taken care of me and how great a friend you are,” she stretched the truth a bit.

“And yet, now you are afraid. Did he tell you I was a great, ugly monster? He has seen me, you know. He is one of few who have ever seen me and not run for their lives. I am terrifyingly ugly, it seems.”

“No. He did not speak of your looks to me at all. And I would not run from you. We are friends and I’m sure you are not as horrible as you say. A friend does not care about the looks of one who is important to them. You may be beastly on the outside but I know you have a kind and loving heart,” she declared, surprised at her own words.

“Then you would not be afraid to look upon me?” the beast questioned with disbelief. “Somehow, I think you do not mean what you say.”

“You think I am untruthful with you? Or do you doubt my friendship and see me as so shallow that I would reject a friend for his looks? Your lack of faith in me is insulting, Beast,” she stated crossing her arms and setting her jaw stubbornly. Forgetting her doubts of just moments before, Loyalina stood firm in her newfound conviction,. daring the beast to doubt her. “If you are the friend that you say, you would have revealed yourself to me before now. I think that maybe it is you who are afraid,” she challenged.

“It may be that you are right, little one,” he spoke honestly. “I am afraid. Afraid that if you see me face to face that you will run from me and that I will lose you forever. That I could never chance.”

The anguish in his voice spoke more than his words could convey to her. She realized that Wolf had told her the truth. This creature before her, who had slowly become her friend, was truly in love with her. Her mind tried to grasp the implications of this revelation as her heart ached to reach out to comfort and reassure her friend. Her heart, as usual, won out. She spoke with confidence and gentleness, “Friend, I am ready to see you. I promise you I will not run.” To verify the truth of her conviction, she drew nearer to him and reached out her hand. He did not move away and allowed her to grasp his paw. She reached up to where she knew his robe to be and pushed back the hood. In the darkness surrounding him, she could see little. So, gathering up her courage, she leaned close to him and kissed his furry head.

The beast pulled back in surprise and dropped her hand. “Why do you pull away, Beast?” Loyalina asked. “ I cannot see you well but I trust that while I cannot see your face, I can see your heart. You are a dear, wonderful beast and I do care for you. I do not want to hurt you for anything in the world.”

“Any yet, you may do just that, my friend,” he spoke. “I cannot let you say these things before you know what I am. You mean too much to me and I do not want to begin to hope you could care only to have you reject me. Before you say anything further, come take my hand and walk with me through the forest. I will lead you home. And as we walk, what I am will be revealed. If you still hold my hand when we reach the sunlight, I will know that you speak the truth, “ he challenged.

“Fine. Then this is what we will do, “ she agreed. She reached out and took the paw of the beast, trusting herself into his care.

The day had drifted slowly by, as had the water in the lake before him. It rippled with the steady, cleansing exhalation of the wind and with the stirring of fish and waterfowl availing themselves of its sustenance and beauty. A satisfyingly full pail of fish sat waiting to be cleaned on the dock behind Tony. Other than a short visit to the cabin to make a sandwich and to grab a few bottles of beer, he had whiled away the day, hiding from his troubles in a deckchair. The sun slowly slipped behind the tops of the trees, and still he had no inclination to move from this place. Even the tempting comfort of the feather mattress at the cottage or the promise of a warm, crackling fire in the fireplace, could not persuade him to leave. To sit and do nothing was much easier for him than to move, and so he remained.

Darkness crept over the water and turned the dock into an island in the midst of the sea. Tony imagined himself alone in a world surrounded by water and isolated from all other human beings. As a castaway in this deserted landscape, he would need to find shelter and provide for his needs without the assistance of the usual tools and conveniences. He was wondering just how he might go about living the life of a hermit when the creeping phantom of sleep overtook him.

A loud rumbling noise overhead shook him from his repose a short while later or had he actually felt a hand shaking him awake? He opened his eyes to find darkness, which was interrupted a moment later by a flash which of light streaking across the sky. With the assistance provided by the lightning, Tony was able to glimpse an angel-like face hovering over his own. He shook his head to assure himself that he really was awake then spoke. “Hello? Ah…hi there. And…who might you be?”

“I’m sorry I startled you but you need to get inside. There’s a storm moving in quickly and you’ll be soaked if you don’t get up, “ she spoke. Her voice was airy and youthful. She stood and moved quickly down the dock in the direction of the house. Tony jumped to his feet and picked up his fishing rod, which fell to the ground when he arose. Remembering the fish, he stooped to grab the handle of the pain and moved quickly across the pier. Another clap of thunder sounded and the sky opened up, dropping a blanket of drenching, soaking rain.

Tony transferred the pole to his other hand and began to run. As he overtook the woman, he grasped her wrist and dragged her along with him to the shelter of the house. Reaching for the doorknob, he dropped her hand and flung the portal wide open, lunging for the safety of the cottages dark interior. Then he turned back in time to see the woman moving away. “Hey! Come on in! It’s wet out there.” She hesitated and he grabbed for her hand again, encouraging her to enter. “It’s okay. I’m safe. I’m not going to hurt you or anything. You can’t stay out there. I’m a perfect gentleman, I promise,” Tony reassured.

The woman smiled and allowed him to pull her out of the rain and into the cabin. She remained by the door while Tony fumbled about looking for a candle and something to light it with. From the sound of the banging and shouted epitaphs that came from within, she deduced he was having little luck. Deftly, she crossed the room to the fireplace and, reaching behind the stack of wood, she pulled out a box of matches. Carefully, in the dark, she layered a few logs and some kindling, then struck the match and set it ablaze. Tony had stopped fumbling by now and was staring, hands on hips, in bewilderment.

“Hey! How did you know where those were?” he questioned. She smiled, not replying to his question but only deflecting him to another topic.

“Do you have anything to eat? The fire will be ready to cook over in about a half an hour. We could put something together and have a hot meal for dinner.”

Easily distracted, Tony looked around for the bags he had brought with him earlier in the day. “Sorry but I didn’t really bring anything to cook. I do have some fruit, some cheese and bread, though. Oh, yeah. And beer. There’s lots of beer.”

She smiled again and replied, “That will do just fine.” She arose from the fireplace and crossed to help him sort through the bags on the floor. Together they found the ingredients for a meal and set about arranging them on the table. After Tony had taken a few minutes to find himself a dry shirt and offer another one to his guest, they sat down at the table to enjoy the refreshment. “Now tell me,” Tony began, munching noisily on his bread, “where in the world did you come from in the middle of the woods in the dark? And what’s your name?”

“My name is Adora and I have come from a long ways away. My home was in the Sixth Kingdom a number of years ago but I have traveled many places since then. I have lived in this area for two years now. I chose this place because of the incredibly beautiful pond. But you are new to this place for I know I have not seen you before,” she replied.

By the light of the fire, Tony examined the woman before him. She was delicate and fragile in appearance with long, dark hair, which curled enchantingly around her face. Her eyes were of a light blue, almost the color of the water in the lake. Her nose was small and turned up slightly, and was complemented by high boned cheeks and an charmingly hypnotic smile. She could not have been more than twenty years old yet she possessed the composure and poise of a woman twice her age. Her eyes reflected wisdom and greatness. In short, Tony found her delightfully appealing as a companion for the evening.

“My name’s Tony. I just arrived here today. I rented this place from a ‘fella’ in town. It definitely is beautiful. There’s something irresistible about the lake,” Tony said while thinking There’s something pretty irresistible about you too. “I’m doing a bit of travelling around myself at present. I thought I might stop here for a bit to get my bearings,” he said. “So tell me a little more about yourself.”

“There’s not much I can tell you. I was born in the Sixth Kingdom and lived with my parents and two brothers until our parents were killed in an accident. Their carriage toppled over a ravine when something spooked the horses as they were travelling to visit my ailing grandmother. When she died, a few days later, my brothers and I were left under the protection of an uncle who cared little for any of us. My brother Allistar and I were turned out of the house and left to fend for ourselves while my younger brother was allowed to stay with my uncle, under his guidance and tutelage. At first, my brother and I traveled together but we ran into a band of rough characters and he was attacked. I tried to help but he pleaded with me to go before I was harmed. I obeyed, intending to find him and help once the ruffians left but when I returned, he was gone. I spent quite some time searching for him but it was as if he had disappeared. I did not know if he had been harmed or had fled and did not want to be found. Finally, after many weeks of searching far and wide, I found myself in the Fourth Kingdom. It seemed as pleasant a place as any and so I decided to stay.”

She paused and looked up at Tony, who had not taken his eyes from her since she began. “It is getting late. If you don’t mind, I really would like to rest. Would you have a blanket that I could throw down by the fire?” she asked.

As if awakening from a trance, Tony stood. “No, no. Take the bed, please. I’m used to sleeping just about anywhere.” Gratefully, she nodded and arose, walking to the bed. She pulled back the blankets and slipped wearily between the sheets.

“Thank you, Tony. You are a gentleman. It’s a rare thing for a woman to be treated with kindness these days. At least, it’s rare for me.” She yawned and tugged the blanket up close to her face. Within a moment, she was asleep.