Mary Anne Gruen - The House of Red

It was quite a night that night at Queen Red Riding Hood the Third’s palace. The Queen had called for a Night of Entertainment. That was something she did often. And on those nights, the palace was filled with all the gaiety of a carnival. There were clowns and balloons and magicians by the score. There were puppet shows and acrobats and trained animals doing tricks. Then, in the later hours, there were plays and dancers and impressively dressed singers.

The Queen herself was of course in attendance, wearing a new gown of deep red velvet decorated with a multitude of little golden spiders with sparkling yellow stones for eyes. The spider idea had come from the Royal Soothsayer. The Queen had told him of a dream she’d had recently of a spider with golden eyes that had come toward her, reaching out with its long arms. At first she had been frightened by the dream. But the soothsayer told her the spider was a lucky omen, come to embrace her with great fortune. So instead, Red had decided to celebrate the spider by ordering a gown made in its honor. And she’d called the Night of Entertainment, so she could honor the gown.

It was almost midnight and still the party raged. The Queen was watching a lively group of acrobats, when the Chancellor came to her side and asked to speak with her.

“Not now,” Queen Red said with a wave. “Can’t you see I’m busy?”

“But, your Majesty,” the Chancellor said. He was a much older man whose job weighed heavily on him. His white hair had receded to well below his ears and his eyes were almost lost in the myriad of wrinkles on his face. “We’ve just received a note from King Wendell. He wants to know if we’re going to send troops to our border with the trolls as he and the First Kingdom are doing.”

“Well, have I ordered any troops?” the Queen asked, still watching the performers on the little make-shift stage at the front of the room.

“No, your Majesty, you have not.”

“So, that’s your answer?”

“But, your Majesty, why are the First and Fourth Kingdoms arming for war with the trolls?”

“Wendell has a personal thing with them, you know that.” The Queen put her gloved hand to her face and oohed over the trick one of the acrobats had just performed. “That was wonderful, don’t you think?” she said applauding daintily.

“Yes, your Majesty,” the Chancellor said, his wrinkles becoming more furrowed by the second. “It’s wonderful. But about this war, I know King Wendell has been having trouble with the trolls. But how is the First Kingdom involved?”

“Oh!” The Queen turned from the entertainment, her green eyes flashing with irritation. “Queen Matilde sent us a message the other night saying Snow White had appeared in King Wendell’s Mirror of Truth and warned her about some big war with the trolls.”

“Really? I don’t remember hearing about such a message.”

“That’s because I didn’t tell you. Snow White said the First, Fourth, and Second Kingdoms were all in danger. I suppose because we all share a border with the trolls and their disgusting Third Kingdom. They wouldn’t have that kingdom, of course, if Gretel the Great had handled things better.”

“Yes,” the Chancellor said under his breath. Of all the kingdoms begun by the Five Women Who’d Changed History, Gretel’s had fared the worst.

Gretel the Great in her prime, was a very down to earth ruler who spurned all the trappings of royalty. That’s why they called her Gretel the Great and not Queen Gretel. She never had any children of her own. Instead she called her subjects her children and gave herself totally to them and their welfare. Even the trolls respected her because she understood ways and methods of war. Her one blind side was the succession.

Gretel had always considered her brother to be a wuss. So she absolutely refused to consider any of his children for the throne. Despite pleas from her advisors, she put off naming an heir till she was in her later years. Then, she was a much weaker woman, some even say she was feeble minded. She easily fell prey to a conniving cousin from some distant branch of the family. He was a charming young man with great good looks and a flattering tongue. Gretel became quite fond of him and named him as her successor. After her death, he took control, gambled away the kingdom’s treasury, and ignored the overgrowth problems with the Beanstalks. When he died suddenly by falling off his horse, probably drunk at the time, there wasn’t much of a kingdom left.

And so the Third Kingdom finally went to the trolls by default, basically as a bribe to buy peace. And the original Beantown was abandoned, till its rebuilding sometime later just inside the Fourth Kingdom.

“Anyway,” Queen Red continued, “despite what Snow White said, I don’t think we have anything to worry about. The trolls are only interested in bringing down Wendell. What do they care about us or the First Kingdom?”

“But if Snow White said so, your Majesty, wouldn’t it be prudent for us to follow her suggestion? I mean, she’s supposedly dead and she may know things that we don’t.”

Red sighed. “I suppose that’s possible.”

“And she was also a great friend of your grandmother’s. Wouldn’t you have a certain familial responsibility to take her warnings seriously? I mean, if only to be polite.”

“Oh.” Red’s pretty lips drew into a pout. “I suppose. If you put it that way.”

“And we could send the troops off with a big parade tomorrow. Think of it, all the people out cheering and you waving regally from the parapet in one of the your new gowns.”

“Yes,” she said, smiling. “That might be nice.” Queen Red loved military parades. She thought she had the best dressed soldiers of any army in the Nine Kingdoms. Wendell’s men wore navy with brass buttons. Cinderella’s wore black with edges of green. King Cole’s wore boring gray. The elves clothed their soldiers in drab olive green. The dwarves wore a combination of brown and forest, with their officers in navy. The naked Emperor’s wore boring beige. And the trolls wore dirt brown with black. How utterly common they all were next to those of the Second Kingdom. Her soldiers were encased entirely in red with edgings of black and great tall red hats with black pompoms. When they marched in formation you could see them from miles away and, oh, how it made her heart pound to see them. They were a triumph of fashion! “All right,” she said, convinced at last. “I suppose we have nothing to lose. Tell Wendell we’ll send our troops to the troll border tomorrow. And begin putting together preparations for the military parade at once.”

“Yes, your Majesty,” the Chancellor said with a deep bow. It had taken a bit of work, but once again he’d cajoled the Queen into being sensible.