A.N.D. - Through the Looking Glass

“You’re not going to turn my grandmother into something like the Murrays,” Virginia warned him again, waving her knife at him as if she’d use it.

“Nooooo!” Wolf reassured her, although he privately thought it would be an improvement.

“How can you be so sure? Look at the trouble Dad got into when he ate one of those bean things! All I’ve wanted for a month was to get away from your crazy magics and now you’ve brought them here!”

“Tony’s problem was that he got greedy,” Wolf mumbled around a forkful of tartare. He swallowed some water and tried again. “Magic is very lazy. It always takes the easy way out. When Tony asked for money, it didn’t make money, it made a robber give him the money. The key is to ask for only what you need, as little as possible. And to be specific, so there aren’t any unintended consequences. I shall simply ask that your grandmother forget our previous encounter. That shouldn’t make her bow or kiss you or anything.”

“I wonder...” Virginia crunched reflectively on a bread stick. Wolf raised his eyebrows to encourage her to continue, but Virginia shook her head. “No, wishing for her to spend an evening sober does not come under the heading of asking for as little as possible.”

“Drinks a lot, does she?”

“She crawled into a bottle when Mother left, and she’s never come up for air since. I don’t know what she’s going to do when she finds out that Mother’s...” Virginia pushed her plate away, obviously having lost her appetite. “I don’t even know what I’m going to tell her.”

Forty-five minutes later, she still hadn’t figured out what to say. Virginia bit her lip as she stood in front of Grandmother’s door, fishing for the key in her purse. This was a bad idea! It was one in the morning-maybe she should have found them a hotel or something. Bet the Murrays would pay for a room at the Ritz, something evil whispered in her mind.

On the other hand, Grandmother was used to her coming in at all hours, even late ones after her shift at the restaurant. She’d been gone a month. Grandmother must be worried. Surely she’d want to see for herself that everything was all right.

But did that wish really work? What would happen if it hadn’t?

Wolf raised his eyebrows at her as she wavered indecisively. “What are you afraid of?” he asked softly.

“I’m not...” His expression changed from supportive to disbelieving, and Virginia bit back the lie. “Okay, I am afraid. I don’t know what I’m going to find in there. Is she drunk? Did she sober up when we left? Did your wish take? Or is she going to call the police the minute she sees you?”

“She will greet you with words so fine
For you are a heroine” the ring trilled.

Virginia stared at it for a moment-she’d forgotten about it entirely. Was it going to always be making random comments? “You don’t know my grandmother,” she finally said. “And I want you to be quiet around her. She won’t understand a singing ring. So no noise, okay?”

“If I am not supposed to talk or sing
Why did you buy a singing ring?” the pearl pouted to Wolf.

“You just remember what happened the last time you were rude to me,” Wolf reminded it, baring his teeth. “Do what she says, or it’s another trip through a fish for you.”

The ring squeaked and rolled its little face under, hiding.

Virginia put the key in the lock, then hesitated again. Wolf reached over her shoulder and twisted it in the lock. “Time to face your fears, Virginia. And remember that no matter what, what you did saved a lot of people. You really are a heroine.” He kissed the top of her head. “Also remember that you’re not alone.”

That was comforting, but not enough. Virginia took a deep breath as the door swung open. “Grandmother? Are you awake?”

“Virginia? Is that you?” Grandmother was far more crocked than usual, and she staggered a bit as she came out of the back bedroom. Virginia’s shoulders tensed as she waited for Roland the poodle to jump out and start yipping, but he didn’t.

Grandmother threw her arms wide to hug Virginia, wheezing “I missed you! You stopped calling. I didn’t know what to think. You were always so reliable before.” The hug was arrested in mid-squeeze, and the old lady’s cultured voice suddenly turned shrill. “Who is that?”

“Me?” Wolf spread a hand across his chest as he overplayed shock and surprise. “Who are you?” He put his hands on his hips, tapping one foot. “Virginia,” he gently scolded, “You told me we were going to see your grandmother, not your lovely sister. Obviously this woman is far too young to be a grandmother.”

Still caught within Grandmother’s embrace, Virginia could only roll her eyes at him. Oh, please! As if anyone would fall for that routine!

Except that’s just what she did. Grandmother promptly let go so she could pat her lacquered curls and smile flirtatiously at Wolf. “Virginia? Will you introduce me to your nice friend?”

No wonder he’d managed to get into the apartment before! There were two things that Grandmother could never resist-money and appeals to her vanity. It didn’t really matter if it was believable, so long as someone said it.

All the same, this was so surreal, reintroducing Grandmother to the man who'd tried to eat her just a few weeks ago. Virginia had to clear her throat before she could calmly say, “Grandmother, this is... um... Wolf. Wolf, my grandmother.”

“Wolf? That’s an unusual name.” Grandmother’s smile wavered, but came back full-force as Wolf stepped forward to bow and kiss her hand.

“You must forgive Virginia her little endearments,” he cooed. “My name is Warren Wolfson, but that’s such a mouthful for a bride-to-be.”

“Well, I...” Grandmother snatched her hand back. “Bride! Virginia?”

Ooops. She hadn’t meant to announce it quite like that. But now that the news was out, she smiled in what she hoped was a dewy, bride-like manner and held out her left hand. “It’s true. Look!”

Grandmother was suitably impressed by the size of the ring, making little appreciative noises as she inspected it. The ring kept obediently silent but couldn’t resist peeking back. It winked and Grandmother started, looked suspiciously at her bottle, and set it and her wineglass to one side.

“Well, that’s very... Virginia, this is so sudden! You didn’t even tell me you were seeing someone!”

“We just met,” Wolf bounced to Virginia’s side and took her hand. “But the moment I snif-saw her, I knew I would love her forever.”

“But... but... who are your people? Are they part of society? Virginia is very special in social circles here. Can you take care of her properly?”

Time to tell all, Virginia thought. If she could just figure out how to tell it.

“Why don’t we all sit down and have some...” Virginia looked at the bottle, which barely had a glassful left in it. “...coffee. A lot has happened that I need to tell you about.”

Wolf promptly sat on the couch, patting the cushion beside him. Grandmother reclined oh-so-gracefully on the chair opposite.

Virginia realized it was going to be up to her to make the coffee, so she trudged to the kitchen to set up the machine. She braced herself as she opened the kitchen cupboard; Roland could hear that even in his sleep and was bound to come out now.

Except he didn’t. Virginia looked down. His bowls were gone too, and his toys were missing. Usually there was a slobbery squeaky thing or two under the table, where he liked to hide in case somebody dropped something at meals. “Grandmother,” she called, leaning out of the kitchen, “where’s Roland?”

Grandmother frowned, as if she was trying to remember. “He just ran off one day,” she finally said airily, waving the cigarette she had just lit. “He must have dodged out an open door.”

Wolf was gripping the edge of the sofa and shuffling his feet as if he was nervous, but he stopped and smiled unconvincingly when Virginia looked at him. Now what did he have to be afraid of? she wondered. He wasn’t the one who had to...

The thought cut off half-formed as she noticed the marks in the carpet. Under Wolf’s boots were little half-erased claw marks in the carpeting, as if something small had been dragged unwillingly out from under the sofa.

Come to think of it, Roland hadn’t been yapping at her when she untied Grandmother after Wolf’s aborted attempt to cook her. And if Wolf had stopped to cook his breakfast, that meant he wasn’t ravenously hungry in the first place...

Oh, gross!

Wolf followed her gaze down, looked back up at her, and shrugged helplessly.

Virginia looked at Grandmother, happily smoking and looking Wolf over. Virginia knew that tilt to her head well-she was probably adding up the cost of Wolf’s clothes. Grandmother was so drunk, so self-deluded... she probably did think that Roland ran off, even if Wolf had eaten him in front of her. They probably hadn’t even needed to make that wish about her forgetting Wolf’s attack. She forgot everything she didn’t want to deal with. Everything except her hope that her daughter would come back-and now Virginia was going to have to take that away.

Virginia filled the coffee tray and walked back to the living room. Grandmother took another look at the ring as Virginia set the tray down, but this time it behaved and kept its face hidden. Grandmother took her coffee black all the same.

Wolf made himself a cup of mostly cream flavored with just a dollop of coffee; considering how hyper he usually was, Virginia thought that was a good choice. She made a mental note to tell him about decaf, then realized she was stalling.

Grandmother realized it too. “Virginia? Aren’t you going to tell me where you have been and how you met this young man?”

Virginia settled next to Wolf, who put a reassuring arm around her shoulder. Time to tell the tale.

“I first met Wolf when he...” ...came at me with a cleaver in your bedroom, searching for a magic dog. No, better not start there.

“When he what, dear?”

Okay, let’s start with the part she wants to hear. “When he came with a message from Mother.”

Grandmother sat bolt upright, suddenly looking sharper and more sober than Virginia ever remembered her being. “Christine?” She turned to Wolf. “You know my daughter Christine?”

Virginia could hear Wolf gulp, but he rose to the occasion. “Why yes. I was one of her, uh, servants.”

Grandmother frowned at Virginia. “A servant? You’re marrying one of the help? Really, Virginia, how common!”

Wolf’s fingers were suddenly digging into Virginia’s shoulder. She patted his hand in a silent supplication to ease up as she said “Grandmother, it’s not like that. And Wolf is not just ‘the help’. Mother was in... one of those little countries in Europe. And you know what? They wanted to make her their queen.”

It sounded bald and unbelievable to her ears even as she said it, but she had underestimated the old lady’s ego and capacity for delusion. Grandmother was actually nodding!

“She would make a beautiful queen. Did I ever tell you about her debut?”

Only about a million times, Grandmother. It was like a coronation, yadda, yadda, yadda, and then some nasty comment about my appearance.

“It was like a coronation...” Grandmother stared off into her memories, smiling. “Oh, it’s like a fairytale. My Christine, a queen.” Suddenly the smile disappeared. “It sounds too good to be true. Really, Virginia, where have you been and how did you meet this man? And what are you hiding that you have to feed me this ridiculous story?”

If there was one thing you were taught young in the Nine Kingdoms, it was how to tell a story properly. Virginia obviously didn’t know how, but that was all right. He’d teach her, and she’d get plenty of practice when their cub was born. And he could fix this, if Virginia would just let him do the talking.

Wolf leaned forward, focusing his powers of Persuasion but keeping his voice deliberately low and soft, as if he was putting a cub to sleep. “It’s true. I know it sounds like a fairy tale, but sometimes fairy tales really do come true.”

“Oh, that’s ridiculous!” the old lady scoffed.

Wolf pushed the Persuasiveness a little higher, then had to blink as he felt his eyes change. When he was sure he looked human again, he picked the story back up. “In my country, there was a great and powerful queen. She was the most beautiful woman in the land, and so rich that she had five castles of her own. But still she did not have everything she wanted. So she began to look throughout all the other lands.

Our queen saw your daughter one night as she walked through your city, and was struck by her great beauty. You see, the queen had no daughter to rule after her, so she was searching everywhere for a woman to take her place when she died. And not just any woman. Someone with the right background, who understood high society, who was deserving of having a whole country laid at her feet.”

The old lady was finally nodding, entranced. “Someone like Christine.”

“No one but her would do,” Wolf agreed.

“She needed somewhere she could be happy,” the old lady decreed. “She wasn’t happy here. She married wrong.” Wolf felt Virginia flinch beside him and sipped his drink to smother the growl. Poor, poor Virginia! It wasn’t bad enough that her mother left her, but her grandma has to be this nasty about her father? Tony was no prize, but he was still her papa, and he obviously cared about Virginia, no matter now incompetently.

No wonder ‘Ginia cut off all her emotions! How had she survived this life at all?

He really should have just eaten the old bat when he had the chance. Instead, he went back to telling the drunken, self-absorbed crone half-truths about her evil, self-absorbed daughter. Maybe it was a good thing Virginia’s mother had left so early. That way she didn’t pass the selfishness and vanity down another generation. Where had Virginia learned to be so strong and caring? Tony? Couldn’t be!

“When the old queen passed on, she gave all her power to your daughter. And so Christine became queen; an even greater queen than the one who went before. She was-is!-famous not only in my land, but in all the lands around. Songs and stories of her will be told for generations.” They won’t be flattering. But they’ll be told.

The old lady jumped as her forgotten cigarette collapsed into ash on the carpet. “That’s a wonderful story, but...” her voice trailed off dubiously. Good. She wanted to believe. Now for the final flourish.

Wolf reached into the pocket of his jacket. He’d wanted to save these things for Virginia. Maybe, when it didn’t hurt so much, she’d want them as rememberances, but now he realized he needed them for this wreck of an old lady. Virginia had him now, forever. This old lady didn’t have nobody.

Virginia gasped as he pulled out the scroll and money. “Where...?”

“These were printed up in celebration of...” Wolf’s glib words suddenly deserted him as he tried to find a positive spin on multiple regicide and treasonous conquest. “Uh, the anniversary of her ascension to the throne.”

The Evil Queen had not intended to waste a minute. The day after the coronation ball she had planned to send out the announcements and replace all the money. There had been a roomful of things printed in readiness-new coins and bills with her face, such as the ones he was handing over now, and portrait scrolls marked “Our Most Noble and Beloved Queen.” Wendell had probably burned the lot by now, but Wolf had taken these when nobody was looking.

There were tears in the old lady’s eyes as she stared at the scroll, then she hugged it, pressing a cheek to her daughter’s image. “Oh, Christine. Oh, Christine. Now I know why you left. It’s all right now. Everything’s going to be all right.”

Virginia looked like she might cry too. “Yes, everything’s going to be all right now.” She glared at Wolf, as if daring him to contradict her. “Mother’s going to live happily ever after.”

He met her glare with an expression of love and understanding. “Yes. She will. Happily ever after.”

The alcoholic old bat smiled through her tears, holding the picture back out for another look. “So beautiful. She will have gowns and jewels and titles and servants... everything. She’ll finally get everything she deserves.”

“She certainly did,” Wolf muttered. Virginia cuffed his back and he gave her an innocent look.

A frown crossed Grandmother’s face. “But why are you both here? I know Christine knows how I hate to travel, but surely you would stay there, with her?”

“I had to come back, Grandmother,” Virginia slipped out of her seat and went to kneel before Grandmother’s chair. “You’re the one who helped raise me when she left. I couldn’t stay there and leave you behind.”

“Oh, Virginia!” Grandmother dropped the scroll and money and swept her into a hug. “Oh, Virginia, I missed you! Stay here. Please.”