Kimberly - Our Little Chop

Tony, used to the acclaim afforded to him since Wendell was restored to his throne, leaned far out the window, waving encouragingly at the crowd. People from every walk of life had come out to cheer their heroes, and began calling out for Wolf to appear as well.

"Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!" they yelled, as he cowered in the floor. Finally Tony pulled Wolf's arms from over his head and gestured for him to look out the window. As Wolf peeked timidly over the sill, the crowd erupted in cheers.

"See," Tony said, "They love you - they've been waiting for a chance to thank you. When you saved the royal families of every Kingdom from death by poisoning, you became the biggest hero in the history of the Nine Kingdoms!"

"Me?" Wolf asked in wonder. "I'm a hero? But Tony, I only did what I had to do - what anybody would have done in my position. I had to switch the poison; I couldn't let her kill everyone. Virginia would have been so disappointed in me!" He looked out the window again, and gave his temple a quick scratch. The crowd took this as a wave, and burst into renewed cheers as a tear ran down Wolf's cheek. "My whole life I've been feared and hated, chased out of town after town. Nobody ever bothered to get to know me, they just saw my tail and judged. Now I'm in love with the most delicious girl in the world, and everybody loves me…. Huff puff," he whispered at last, "It's almost too much to believe."

He pricked up his ears as the crowd burst again into a chorus of "Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!" Giving Tony his most wolfish grin, he pulled himself out of the window and climbed onto the roof of the carriage. He threw his head back and howled from his heart. The crowd grew silent for a moment, startled until a small boy riding on the shoulders of his father tossed his head back too and howled in response. Soon the whole crowd was howling together. Waving wildly to the crowd he shouted; "I love you too! And you!" He said pointing to the child on his father's shoulders. "And you! And You! And you too!" he cried, pointing at various faces in the crowd. Stretching his arms out above his head and spinning to encompass the whole of his world, he cried one last time, "I LOVE YOU ALL!!!"

When they reached the edge of the forest the crowd had thinned, and now, deep in the woods, they were alone. Wolf had returned to the safety of the carriage and was lying across the cushion opposite Tony and Hansel with a blissful expression.

"Oh Tony!" he said finally, "That was wonderful. That was better than… than MEAT! They like me Tony, they really do! Oh how I wish my beautiful crème brulée Virginia were here! She deserves to have a crowd cheer for her. She should be loved and adored, and applauded every day!"

"Now that's the first sensible thing I think I've ever heard you say," Tony replied.

"Sensible - hah! Neither one of you is being sensible, are you?" Hansel spoke up for the first time since they left the palace. "If a crowd like that is going to show up everywhere you go, how do you expect to get to the witch and get this curse broken without everyone in all the Nine Kingdoms knowing that your unborn child has been turned into a sheep? And if they do find out, there will be lynch mobs in every corner of the land out looking for her. If they kill her before she breaks the curse, who knows if you'll ever be able to break it. You two need to keep a low profile, and that means at the very least a less conspicuous ride." He gestured to the luxury of the royal carriage. "In the morning we'll reach a village on the other side of these woods. Before we get there, we're going to need to replace this carriage with a more humble mode of transportation and we'll need disguises for both of you. I suggest we stop by and see a friend of mine."

"What do you mean friend? " Tony asked. "I thought you were a hermit."

"Even a hermit makes friends once in awhile," the old man said cryptically, directing the driver off of the relative safety of the road and onto a barely visible path through the woods.

An hour later they arrived at a small but well appointed stone house in a clearing in the wood. Looking closer Tony noticed signs of obvious wealth. A bronze statue stood on a marble pedestal in the garden, and he could see the backside of a very nice carriage around the side of the house. The windows were of the finest leaded glass. At first glance the doorknocker appeared to be brass, and very elaborate. Upon closer inspection Tony was sure this was not brass at all, but gold.

Turning to comment to Wolf about all this wealth in the middle of the forest, he realized that Wolf had not noticed any of it. He was standing under a window that had been left open a crack to let air circulate. His head thrown back, he sniffed deeply, and expression akin to joy on his face. He was mumbling to himself, and as Tony approached he could hear his rantings.

"Mutton, definitely mutton" he repeated to himself, "With herbs and mint jelly and new potatoes and… and parsley sprigs," he finished, wrinkling his nose at the last. He finally became aware of Tony standing beside him. "Do you smell that, Tony? That's meat!" he said with a growl.

"Do you ever think of anything else?" Tony asked. "Or do your nose and your stomach rule your life?"

"Oh, much more than that, Tony," Wolf replied. "My heart and my uh… my tail have a say in most decisions."

They both turned as a short man with a dignified posture and a pleasant face framed by dark graying hair came out the front door wiping his hands on an apron. Grabbing Hansel's hand in both of his, he pumped it vigorously. "So good to see you old friend!" he said, smiling through perfect teeth, "Us old hermits have to stick together."

Just then he noticed the carriage and driver and the two strangers standing below his window. He heard a slight whine come from Wolf as he sniffed the air again hungrily.

"Oh, now," the man stuttered. "This is unusual. Hansel, old man, where did you find these people, and why on earth have you brought them here?"

Hansel explained that he'd come out of hiding to help his new friends find the gingerbread house of the witch, and that they needed his help with disguises and a wagon. The two negotiated back and forth quietly out of earshot of the others until an agreement was reached. Leading his friend to Tony and Wolf, he introduced them finally.

"Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet my good friend Ian Stiltskin. He inherited this home and this life from his uncle. You may have heard of him?"

Reaching out to shake hands, Tony said incredulously; "You mean Rumplestiltskin? The one who spun straw into gold? Wow, it's a real pleasure to meet you sir," Tony said with enthusiasm, giving Wolf a shrug of apology to acknowledge his error with the woodsman months before. Wolf raised a hand to his throat, remembering his near miss.

"Do you… " Tony trailed off, but Ian nodded.

"Yes, I inherited the same talent from him. That's what keeps me hidden away in the forest. As a kid I lived in Beantown. I had loads of friends and we always had a wonderful time, but soon I realized that they all only wanted me for my money. I was engaged to be married to a beautiful girl, and I wanted nothing more in the world than to believe that she really loved me as much as I loved her, but I had doubts. Uncle Rumple always told me you couldn't trust anybody, that when you had our gift, nobody could be trusted because they'd only take advantage. He was the loneliest, bitterest old man I'd ever known and I thought he was crazy. And when he tried to steal that baby from that princess, I just wrote him off. All I wanted in those days was to be a chef. I wanted to marry my sweet Cecilia and open a little restaurant and become the best cook in the kingdom."

Wolf, who's mind had wandered again to the wonderful smells coming from the kitchen, was brought back to the moment by this and perked up his ears.

"That sounds like a most noble pursuit in life, Ian. What happened to bring you here instead?"

"Why don't we go in and have dinner, Ian said, shaking the past out of his head. "You don't want to hear my old stories."

Wolf readily agreed to that, and when they sat down to dinner only Tony wondered why a hermit in the woods had prepared enough food for unexpected guests. Wolf was simply glad he had. When Tony asked, Ian explained that cooking was his passion and he couldn't bear to cook for one, so each night he prepared enough for several people, and left any leftovers out for the animals of the forest.

"I've found over the years," he said, "That animals are much better companions on the whole than humans. Much more trustworthy."

"Thank you," said Wolf without thinking. "I mean," he tried again, remembering that he was supposed to remain anonymous, "Please, Ian, tell us how you came to give up your restaurant and your dream to come and live here all alone, it really does seem a pity. You work wonders with mutton."

Reluctantly, and with fresh pain in his eyes, Ian launched himself back into the past.

"Uncle Rumple's words just kept coming back to me. Cecilia kept asking me to make more money - way more than we really needed. First she wanted a new carriage, then jewelry and fine clothes, and when we began planning our wedding she asked me to build her a palace bigger than the queen's. She wanted to be a princess herself. I confronted her - asked her if it was really me that she loved, or the money. She insisted that she wanted only to be with me, and vowed her eternal love, but she became more and more greedy.

"I couldn't take the wondering anymore. I remembered what my uncle had said, and I decided to test her love. I went into my workroom one evening, telling her that I would come out only when we had enough money to throw the grandest wedding in all the Nine Kingdoms. She was ecstatic, and brought me sandwiches and ale before I shut myself in. She told me to call her if I needed anything at all.

"I locked myself in and took a nice long nap. When I woke up I ate the sandwiches and then set to work. I broke every bit of furniture in the room including the spinning wheel. I destroyed the rugs and tapestries, tore my clothes and hair to shreds and then sat for hours on end wailing and screaming. She never came. I stayed there in the room for three days, until I could hardly recognize myself and felt I looked the part of someone completely wracked with grief.

"Finally, on the third night, I came out, head in hands, and confessed to her that my gift was gone. I told her I'd stayed in the room for three days trying because I didn't want to disappoint her, but that finally I had to give up. The proverbial well was dry and I was broke. She held me in her arms and stroked my hair and told me nevermind, the restaurant would be enough for us. She was extra sweet, drawing me a bath and helping me to bed, and I thought maybe it was true, that she really did love me. I determined to surprise her with the wedding she'd been wanting all along, and was going to tell her the next day, but when I awoke the next morning she was gone. There was no trace of her anywhere. She didn't even leave a note.

"I went in search of her, visiting all of our friends. Everyone was polite but noncommittal, as if I were barely an acquaintance. It was clear that they already knew what had happened, and thought I was broke. I didn't have a single friend left in Beantown. I left there that night, and have been living here ever since."

"I'm so sorry," Wolf said, his face a reflection of Ian's melancholy. "I don't know what I would do if my sweet apple dumpling Virginia didn't love me. It would kill me."

"Never mind," Ian said, waving the old hurts out of his thoughts with the back of his hand. "My past is my past; I'm quite content in my little home here and now. Now tell me, what is it that I can do to help you? Hansel says you've a witch to fight, and you need disguises - it sounds intriguing!"

"Well," Tony started, "I guess it’s okay to tell you who we are. You are a hermit after all."

"Oh, I know who you are," Ian replied.

"Man, none of you hermits are real hermits, are you?" Tony shook his head. "You go into town and check out the kingdom news every once in awhile or what?"

"No, I avoid going into the villages whenever possible. I have other ways of knowing the news around the Nine Kingdoms." He turned to a tapestry on the wall, pulling it aside to reveal a magic mirror. "This is my link to the world. I may not want to live in it, but I still need it to live. Even when you can spin straw into gold you need a market for it, so I have to know what’s going on in the world. With my mirror I can keep track of news all over the land, check out what happens at the village markets, and get a feel for the economy of the kingdom."

"Oh I see," Tony interrupted. "Kind of like a laptop for a day trader."

Ian nodded politely, having no idea what the stranger was talking about, and continued, "So of course, I know all about how the two of you and the lovely Virginia saved the Nine Kingdoms from the Queen. I didn’t recognize you at first, as it was a couple of months ago, but I did watch the coronation from right here in this room and was much relieved to see the outcome. Naturally, I’m willing to help you if I can. But what is your new crisis? It doesn’t affect the kingdom as a whole or I would have heard about it by now, so is it personal?"

"You might say that," Tony said, gesturing to a still ravenously eating Wolf with a dinner roll. "This crazy wolf here is married to my daughter, Virginia - well, obviously you know, you probably watched the wedding at Wendell’s castle last month. Anyway, they are expecting my first grandchild, and somehow he’s gotten a curse put on him. Now my grandbaby is supposedly going to be born a sheep if we can’t find the witch who placed the curse and get her to break it."

Wolf, his fork halfway to his mouth, had paused when talk of the curse had brought him back to reality. He was looking down at his plate in horror. The hand holding his fork began to shake as he looked up at Tony.

"Oh no. No - oh no. So bad… always a bad Wolf," he mumbled, his face emptying of color; "Always have been…. So bad." He threw the fork down as he leapt from the table and ran out of the room howling as if his heart were breaking. He continued running out the front door. The last thing they heard before the door slammed behind him was the word "mutton."

"Oh no, he’s right!" Tony said, pushing his plate away hastily. "Here we are talking about having a lamb in the family and having mutton for dinner! I guess I’d better go after him. He has some serious issues with food - in his state there’s no telling what he’ll do."

With that he ran out the door behind him, leaving Hansel and Ian to discuss plans for the morning.