Sohna and Vivian - My Brother's Keeper

His own cramps were not really that bad - much less painful than the previous month, and in fact much lighter than any he'd ever had. It was only the fighting against what they did to him that made them so agonizing. He'd managed to succeed so far in avoiding any of the change through constant attention, but all thoughts of himself were forgotten as he hobbled to the front of the cell, still slightly hunched over, his left arm folded across his stomach.

"Virginia ..." he whimpered, fastening his free hand on the bars. A whine built up in him and he let it out as he sank to his knees, pressing his head against the cell door. He was crying and sobbing, nearly choking himself with a deep gasping breath as he exhaled in a mournful howl.

Virginia stirred, opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Wolf?" she whispered. Her voice was shaking.

"Oh, Virginia ..." he cried miserably.

"I'm so sorry," she went on, her voice faint. Her eyes were swollen and red, and he could see that she was still crying. She bit her lip and scrabbled around with one hand in the bedclothes in front of her, finally finding what she sought. She threw it roughly at him. The object clanged off the lower bars of the door, coming to rest in the corridor, though still well within Wolf's reach. It was the key to his cell.

"Please come here," Virginia begged him.

Wolf stared at the key. It glinted enticingly at him in the lamplight. He ached for it. But should he, he wondered? He'd already let go too much; he could feel the change sliding in. He could hurt her. He'd be so very hungry with no food here, she couldn't order it for him now but he wasn't hungry yet, not now, but he would be very soon, he thought, ravenous, and then what would he do if he got free? Rafe was laughing at him, teasing him like he always had about his ‘control' why do you care why can't you just accept it but he couldn't, he couldn't, not now, Virginia, he had to be with her the cub is dying but he might make it worse she wants him, needs him there. The key smelled like her, had her scent on it, he sniffed it and rubbed it on his face.

He was leaning over her, stroking her hair, before he realized what he had done. He gasped, but he was already out. Too late, no going back now. She looked up at him and he saw her eyes widen just a bit.

"Wolf?" she whispered. Her hand touched his face. He took the hand and kissed it, his fangs just grazing her fingers.

"Shhh ..." he said. She was in pain, afraid of the pain, but he was here now to protect her, his mate who carried his cub. He wouldn't leave, not ever. Not ever. She needed him. He would keep her safe. He lay down beside her, cradling her in his arms, and nuzzled her face. The scent of his mate fed him, filled him, but for her pain and fear. They were bad for her, bad for the cub. He wanted to lash out at them, but they weren't an enemy he could see. He whimpered and snuggled closer, stroking her face, her arms, the part of her where the cub lay, where the pain was.

Cripes! What was he doing out of the cell, he wondered? How had he gotten here? Think about it later! Right now ... ?

He felt the contraction beneath his hand and splayed his fingers out instinctively in a futile attempt to stop it. She panted as it slid slowly away, sobbing "I'm sorry ... I'm sorry" in a nearly inaudible voice.

He drew his eyebrows together. Something didn't make sense.

"How many is that?" he asked.

"Four." Her voice shook and she barely got the word out before dissolving into more sobs.

He propped himself up on one arm and looked down at her, licking his lips, concentrating.

"How much time in between them?" he asked.

"I don't know!" she wailed.

"Well, about?"

"Not much. More between the last two, maybe."

"Virginia, you shouldn't be having them," he said. "There's nothing wrong."

"Well that's too bad!" she cried hysterically. "I'm having them anyway!"

"No," he began, then tried to recall what she'd said in New York when she'd told him how the pregnancy ‘test' worked. Hurry up! You don't have much time! he thought to himself.

"There's no chemical change in your body," he told her. "None." Except her being afraid, he thought. But that would have happened afterwards.

"Then why is this happening?" she whimpered.

"I don't know," he said, "But there's nothing wrong with the baby." For now, he thought.

"This can't be good for it," she said, echoing his thoughts.

"No," he agreed, distractedly. Did this remind him of something? Had to do with Rafe? No. What?

"You need to relax," he heard himself saying.

"Oh, right," she said sarcastically, "Relax or else. That's such a relaxing thought!"

He remembered. Yes, that was how! But how can I do that here? Something else, then? What? No time! - he started to panic - she'll have another contraction soon! He looked wildly around, his eyes fastening on her slippers, still on her feet. Feet, he thought, and with the thought, pounced.

Virginia screamed.

"Stop it!!! Stop! Stop! Stop!" She gasped for air, writhing all over the bed, pounding on him to no avail, screaming wildly. He had to do it. It was the only way. When at last he saw that she couldn't catch her breath, he released her and helped her sit up.

She gasped. And gasped again. He could tell she wanted to speak, knew she would yell at him, but didn't care. What he did was necessary. But hearing her continue to gasp, he hoped he hadn't gone too far. Finally, she caught her breath.

"What did y ... ?" she croaked.

"Shhh," he said, "Don't talk now. You can yell at me later. Can you breathe well enough now to lay back down? Just nod or shake your head."

She nodded, and lay down on her back.

"Turn over," he said.

She gave him a suspicious look and started to protest.

"I won't do it again," he said. "Wolf's honor."

She turned over. He pulled her robe off - it hadn't been fastened anyway - threw the quilt over her lower body, and climbed up to straddle her legs.

"What are you going to do?" she murmured.

"This."

He began kneading her lower back with his hands. She closed her eyes and exhaled in a little sigh of pleasure. He felt a bit of the tension flow out of her with the sigh and kept on, encouraged. All the muscles in her back were very tight, as he had expected. One by one, he worked them until Virginia seemed relaxed enough to be almost asleep, but he didn't stop. He wanted to be sure. What he had not expected to do was arouse himself.

Cripes, he thought miserably, hating himself for the physical reaction. It was the moon again, he thought. Always the moon, making him behave now like an animal rutting, when he'd just almost lost his cub. And poor Virginia - sweet, creamy, delicious Virginia - how could he even think of that when her body hadn't even begun to recover from the near loss? Rationally, however, he knew that the moon was not pulling him at all at the moment. Earlier she had, yes, but not now, though he didn't know why. Did it have something to do with the emergency, he wondered? He didn't know. Nothing this alarming had happened to him since he was eleven years old well, thank goodness! so he had nothing to compare it to. Probably it was nothing more than the problem he was having with his cycle, but if so, he was grateful for it at the moment. So he was aroused. It was nothing he couldn't handle; hadn't had to handle on almost a daily basis from the moment he'd met Virginia until that day in the woods - the day they'd conceived the baby. He simply felt guilty for responding that way now.

He sighed and plied his fingers to the sinews of her neck and shoulders, drawing out the last of her tension. She tilted her head away from his hands with a satisfied moan. It had been at least fifteen minutes, he thought, since that last contraction, and so far as he could tell she hadn't had another. He wasn't about to disturb her by asking, though.An almost overwhelming ache to lay beside her gripped him. He wanted to feel her in his arms - not a sexual desire this time, but simply a need to hold her; hold them both. He eased off a bit on the massage, just enough so that he wouldn't stop too abruptly, and was just about to lie down when he heard a noise in the passage to his right. Careful not to disturb Virginia, he climbed off the bed and crept carefully up the corridor. He knew it must be someone from the palace; the passage he'd taken led up to the main floor. But although it had been lit with hanging lanterns at widely spaced intervals, it was still relatively dark for someone without Wolf's nocturnal eyesight, and whoever was coming was not carrying a lamp. Maybe they're just bringing that meat I asked for earlier, he thought. Only he knew they weren't. He couldn't smell it. He did smell something familiar, though. And he recognized who it was at nearly the same time as the king rounded a corner, approaching him warily, a long sword upraised before him in classic offensive posture. Wolf stopped.

"Why aren't you in the cell?" asked Wendell pointedly. His voice was not loud, but it echoed back off the stone walls nonetheless.

"Shhh!" Wolf raised his finger to his lips for emphasis. He didn't want Virginia to be disturbed. And he certainly didn't want her getting out of bed, which he was afraid she might do if she got too curious about what was going on in here.

"The guards heard a scream," the king announced in what seemed to Wolf to be the exact same pitch as before. Wolf nodded. Yes, she did scream pretty badly when I was tickling her, he thought. He gestured for Wendell to come closer. The irony of the king's guards being so useless that Wendell had to protect them from him was not lost on him, though he didn't plan to say anything about it. Not now, anyway.

Wendell stood his ground. Wolf sighed.

"Virginia nearly had a miscarriage," he hissed as loudly as he dared. Apparently Wendell heard him because he lowered the sword ever so slightly. "She's resting now, so please be quiet!" he whispered.

"Let me see her," insisted Wendell, his voice still quite cold, though much quieter now. He flicked the point of the sword to indicate that Wolf should walk ahead of him. Reluctantly, he led the king back to where she lay. He'd nearly reached it when he saw her raise her head.

"Wolf?" she called.

"I'm right here, my creamy dumpling," he answered, sitting down on the bed and brushing the hair away from her face with his hand. "How are you feeling?"

She'd put her head back down as soon as she'd seen him and now turned onto her side to face him.

"All right now, I think," she said. "Just tired."

Suddenly she noticed Wendell and tilted her head back on the pillow to look at him, her brow furrowed.

"He heard you screaming," Wolf explained.

Virginia blushed.

"Wolf told me what happened," said the king gently as he slid the sword into its scabbard. "Would you like me to call the doctor?"

"No," she said. "Thank you, but I think it's stopped now. I just want to go to sleep. Really."

He nodded.

"Very well," he said. "If you decide you need him, though, just pull the cord, as you would for the food." He looked at Wolf. "By the way, do you need it yet?"

"No," Wolf replied. The question reminded him once again of how erratic his cycle had become. "No, I don't. I might not need it," he added, "But I can't be sure. Not now, though."

Wendell nodded once and turned to leave.

"Oh, Wendy," called Wolf after him, "Next time you go to fight a half-wolf single-handedly during full moon - take some light with you."

The king scowled. Wolf replied to the expression by allowing the feral wolf into his eyes for just a moment. Outwardly Wendell reacted very little, but the smell of shock and surprise which came from him gave Wolf more than a little satisfaction.

When he'd disappeared from sight, Wolf finally lay down beside his poor Virginia. She put one arm over him, pulling him closer to her, and sighed contentedly. He brushed her hair back from her face, then ran his hand down her arm and let it come to rest on the lower part of her stomach.

"Everything quiet in there now?" he whispered.

She put her own hand over his and murmured that it was. He closed his eyes and tried to make himself relax, releasing what tension he could from his own shoulders. The near-disaster had made him realize how foolish he had been to distance himself from his dear Virginia and their cub in his fit of self-pity. He'd come perilously close to missing the final four days of his child's existence, and why? Because he was afraid Virginia would no longer want it - or him - after she'd seen the truth about him - which was ridiculous. She'd seen what was probably the worst of the transformation in that play that told their story. So what if it was an actor and some special effects they used to do it? It got the point across very well. And had she reacted as he'd feared? No. She'd rushed to his side and stayed beside him - he realized now - constantly. It had been he who had kept himself apart.

He felt the thin cotton beneath his palm and the warmth of her stomach beneath that, sensing that he had only to press lightly - though he wouldn't dare do that now - to feel her womb. When he'd last touched her, that hadn't been possible. But the contraction he'd felt had been very close to the surface. His cub had grown, and he had missed it.

Frightening though it had been, the experience had showed him something else as well: his beloved Virginia loved and wanted the baby as much as he did. He'd been afraid, from her reaction to the news, both initially and later when she'd performed her own ‘test,' that it was something he'd thrust upon her, unwanted; a burden rather than a blessing. Not that he had meant to - and he cursed his own inexperience in that matter. In the future he would be able to identify the scent of her fertility. By the time he had done so this time, however, it had been too late.

He sighed. Beside him Virginia stirred a bit.

"Wolf?" she asked.

He opened his eyes and looked straight into her wide blue ones. Unable to resist, he kissed her on the nose. She smiled.

"How did you know what to do?" she asked.

Yes, he thought, she's been asking about your family ever since we came back to the kingdoms and you've refused to tell her. I guess now is the time, he decided, even though he would've rather she went to sleep. But he wasn't going to put her off any more.

"I told you once before that my brother and I went to live with our aunt," he began.

Virginia nodded.

"My auntie was - is - a midwife," he told her. "And Rafe and I would help her when she went to see her patients."

"You're kidding!"

Looking at her astonished expression, he suddenly realized what she had concluded, and he laughed.

"No," he said, "Not that way. We didn't help with deliveries or anything. Just babysitting, mostly - watching the other cubs in the household and keeping them occupied while their mother was busy giving them a little brother or sister."

"Oh," she said, though she still looked slightly amazed to him. He didn't understand why.

"Anyway," he continued, "One time we went to this house and Auntie told us, after she'd been in to see her patient, that she wanted us to pretend we were fighting with each other and come in and wreck the inside of the house. She gave very specific instructions about it - thinking about it later I was surprised she asked us to do it at all, because Rafe and I fought constantly anyway, and we weren't pretending - but I know now how desperate she must have been. All she really insisted on was that we'd better not hurt any of the cubs there or she'd have our hides later. It was okay, though, she said, to pretend we might hurt them. And we weren't supposed to stop, even if she told us to, unless her patient actually got up and collared us. Well, of course we thought that was great and really tore the house to pieces. I remember I pulled over this huge cabinet full of dishes and almost hit this boy with it - scared him so much he carried on like he'd been hit anyway - but I didn't care, really, cause he was such a little monster. That got the mother up, though, and she made us stop. So we had to go outside then and wait for Auntie to get finished.

"Later, after we got home, I asked her why she let us do that and she said the woman was having something like moon cramps that were going to make the cub come too early if she couldn't get them stopped. And that she was too scared to move or do anything, so she wanted us to distract her with something that would make her forget completely about what was happening to her."

Virginia had listened to his story with an expression of absolute incredulity. When he finally finished, she thought a moment and then said, "So that's what you did? Distract me?"

Wolf touched the side of her face.

"There was no reason for you to be having contractions, Virginia," he said softly. "But you said yourself you couldn't relax because you couldn't stop thinking about what was happening."

"Oh," she breathed. He felt her snuggle closer to him and he gave her a little hug in response.

"Your auntie sounds a lot like you," she said.

The comment shocked him, especially coming from his mate. Had he reacted much worse than he'd feared about her finding out about him, he wondered? But then he realized Virginia knew nothing but this one little story.

"Not really," he said. "Although I know I've been too worried lately about the possibility of losing you, which I know now is ridiculous." He glanced at her as he spoke and was rewarded with the biggest, happiest smile he thought he'd ever seen on her face. The sight of it brought a lump to his throat. She raised herself up a bit to kiss him. He caught her and laid her back down.

"You probably should just lay down completely for awhile," he said. "Like all night."

He gave her the kiss, though. She studied him.

"Was your auntie a very sad person, then?" she asked.

A couple of weeks before my parents were killed, her mate - my uncle - and she were attacked by a couple of Red dragoons. He was killed in front of her. She was injured pretty badly but survived. When we first went to stay with her she was confined to bed - there were other people there too, then, that we didn't really know. I think probably they were some of her mate's relatives. And then after that we had to help her get around until she could do it on her own. Later, a lot of people who didn't know what had happened used to wonder why our sisters didn't go to live with her instead of us, since they thought girls would have been more appropriate helpers for a midwife, but they were a bit young at the time to help look after her in the beginning. She was always very sad and quiet. I used to want to make her laugh - and I did sometimes - but knowing what I know now I don't understand how she stood it. She did - she does - love children, though, so I guess having us there helped her in other ways too. They weren't together long enough to have any cubs of their own."

His voice had gone hoarse; he'd barely been able to finish. It hadn't been until he'd met Virginia that he completely understood what his poor Auntie had suffered. Now he felt his own mate put her hand on his heart and then pull him to her. He kissed her softly on the lips and buried his face in her hair.

Wendell leaned back in the chair behind his desk and tapped his foot impatiently on the floor. It hadn't been that long since he'd sent for the royal physician, but waiting at all agitated him. Virginia'd nearly had a miscarriage! He knew she'd told him she didn't want a doctor now; that she'd gotten over it. But what if she hadn't? Wendell couldn't force his physician on her - and he wouldn't - but he certainly intended to make sure the man was informed of the situation and prepared for a possible emergency.

He got up and began distractedly to pace. She'd been screaming. He couldn't get that thought out of his mind. The guards said they'd heard bloodcurdling screams. He tried to tell himself that their imaginations had made it sound much worse than it actually was, but that didn't explain away the fact that they'd had to have heard something. He knew very little about childbirth - well, actually he knew next to nothing about it - but he seemed to recall hearing that it was quite painful, though he'd always thought that must have to do with the baby's size. But perhaps not - perhaps more pain was involved if the child came before its time?

He stopped abruptly in the middle of the floor, suddenly realizing he was not only chewing his nails but growling at them as well. Purposefully, he forced himself to walk back over and sit down at his desk, keeping his back rigidly at attention. He hated doing that - reverting to anything dog-like - and though it occurred less frequently now than it had in the beginning, it still did happen when he was under extreme pressure.

It wouldn't have been so bad - for him at least, he thought - if he didn't feel so blasted guilty about the way he'd reacted to the news of Virginia's pregnancy in the first place. He couldn't help feeling now as if he'd wished her baby dead. And though he knew rationally that he was much too ordinary a fellow to have the sort of psychic power necessary for that, and that what had happened to his step-sister would have happened no matter what he'd thought, he still felt somehow responsible.

He rubbed his face, feeling the invisible blonde stubble, and looked again at the clock. Where is the man? he wondered again. As if in answer to his silent question, he suddenly heard footsteps outside in the corridor.

Dr. Mellifict appeared in the doorway, his medical bag in his hand. He nodded once in deference as he murmured the greeting, "Your Majesty."

Wendell rose and walked over to him. Mellifict was tall, nearly as tall as Antony, and could look his king straight in the eye. His florid countenance and stout girth hinted at a man better given to telling people how to live healthy lives rather than showing them how to do it by example. But he had an ease of manner and a knowledge of his craft that made him popular.

"What seems to be the problem?" he asked heartily, his sharp eyes taking in all of Wendell speculatively, although unobtrusively and without rudeness.

"Oh, it's nothing to do with me," the king assured him, indicating that he should sit down. When Mellifict had done so, Wendell related to him the entire episode. But it didn't take long for the king to notice that something was very wrong.

Though he said nothing, not wishing to interrupt his king, Mellifict's face had taken on a distinct look of disapproval which deepened as Wendell spoke. An uneasy chill made the hair on the king's neck stand up. He had not anticipated Mellifict's stance on the half-wolf question. "I would certainly be willing to see the Lady Virginia," the doctor began smoothly, "However, I very much doubt whether anything can really be done to save the life of the ... er ... cub."

Wendell listened silently to him, a dread growing within him for his step-sister.

"You see," Mellifict went on, his voice taking on a slightly pedantic tone, "Interspecies couplings aren't natural; the offspring of such unions are - if you will forgive the term - monsters. They rarely survive birth, and even those that do are condemned to a short and unfortunate life. Believe me, if the Lady Virginia miscarries, it will be a blessing."

The king kept his face carefully impassive. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask Mellifict sarcastically if he thought mules were ‘monsters' of delicate health, but he forced himself to remain silent. The past month of seemingly futile arguments he'd had with what seemed like the entire human population of his kingdom over the nature of half-wolfs had at least taught him how little good a verbal riposte would do. In any case it wasn't the real issue, and he knew it.

"And I might make a recommendation," continued the doctor, "to preserve the health of your step-sister. While I understand that she would prefer not to see me, as you say, because of the necessity of admitting she has coupled with an animal, there is an herbal concoction which is easily brewed, and may be administered by anyone, that will bring about a spontaneous abortion. This seems harsh, I know, but it will be better for her health in the long run if the pregnancy is terminated as quickly as possible. A union such as she has entered into is extremely dangerous to the mother's life. Surely it has not escaped your notice that the event you related to me took place during the full moon? The older the cub becomes, the more violent will be the episodes. She can literally be torn apart from the inside out."

Wendell's face remained frozen, but his mind raced. Could that be true? he wondered. She had been screaming in agony ... He didn't care for the way the doctor had twisted his own words and called Wolf an animal - that was nothing more than dogmatic adherence to the prejudiced beliefs the king had battled all month. But suppose he was right about the baby hurting her? It certainly seemed within the realm of possibility. And the man was a doctor, after all ...

"If you could give me the name of the Lady Virginia's maid," Mellifict went on, "I will be happy to explain to her what needs to be done."

Wendell frowned.

"My step-sister doesn't have a ladies' maid in the usual sense," he replied. "There's only Emma, who takes them their meals and collects and folds the laundry, that sort of thing." He didn't bother to add that Emma had gotten the job because she was one of the few servants at the palace that wasn't intimidated by Wolf's nature.

"Well, then, Emma will have to do," said the doctor jovially, "Provided you think she can be discreet. But I suppose there's no question of that or she wouldn't have that position in the first place."

Wendell nodded, unsure if he was comfortable with the turn this was taking. He didn't care for Mellifict's attitude; the doctor seemed a bit too anxious to act, he thought. Before the king was willing to agree to such drastic measures he preferred to make absolutely certain they were necessary. Even if he's right, he thought, Virginia's not likely to suffer any more tomorrow than she has tonight. The thought bothered him somewhat, because he disliked the idea of causing her any pain whatsoever - and he felt certain the doctor's argument against waiting would involve this sort of reasoning - but it had to be risked nonetheless.

"I'd prefer to wait until I've completely satisfied myself that terminating her pregnancy is the only solution" - he saw the doctor begin to protest and cut him off - "No, that's final," he said evenly. "But I assure you I'll come to a decision before the next full moon."

Mellifict glowered disapprovingly, but nodded. He collected his bag and took the king's leave.

Wendell sat down at the chair behind his desk and rested his head in his hands. He'd already resolved to spend the next night in the dungeon with them in order to see exactly what happened to Wolf. Tonight he'd been almost ready to conclude that there was no difference whatsoever in his behavior whether it was full moon or not, until the half-wolf had disturbingly altered the way his eyes appeared just before the king had left. And if there were no difference, why would he have wanted to lock himself in a cell in the first place? he thought.

Wendell had too many questions about it, and now he'd been given one more. Suppose Mellifict is right and Virginia has another near-miscarriage tomorrow? I've promised her a doctor, and now I can't call him; she'd never agree to the abortion, and I know he won't help try to save the child! It occurred to him that what Mellifict had said might be nothing more than superstition - his views on half-wolfs were so obviously dogmatic - but he also knew that it hadn't been that long ago that he himself had blindly believed Wolf's kind were nothing more than particularly nasty animals. He couldn't allow this one flaw to alter his own judgment of the doctor's medical ability, which was outstanding. No, he couldn't afford to believe that what Mellifict had said about the baby was simply another misconception; he'd have to find out for certain whether it was true, and soon. He'd have to ask a half-wolf. And the only one of those he knew was Wolf.

Mellifict closed the door to the king's study softly behind him. He sighed and his frown deepened. It was all very well to be the king and make decisions in your own good time, he thought, but there were some times when it was necessary to act quickly! He thought Wendell should have been able to see that, but the boy had changed since he'd had that spell put on him by his wicked step-mother.

The doctor shook his head and took himself out to the front of the king's living quarters, where the butler brought him his coat.

"Thank you," he said, "But not just yet. First I need to discuss something with Emma."