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Something to Believe in PART 21 Striding into the office, Max Evans was a man on a mission. It was clear to any onlooker that he had something on his mind, and knew exactly what he was doing. He had spent all the previous evening mulling over Liz’s words, trying desperately to work out how he had brought pain and misery into the Amber Inn Group. Liz had made it clear, however, that it wasn’t actually himself who had caused the pain, but more Michael. Max’s powers of deduction deduced that was obvious since Michael was the only other person he had actually taken to the Amber Inn offices. She had told Max to talk to Michael, but what had he done? It had taken a while, but Max had pieced the jigsaw together and come up with only one plausible conclusion, Michael had called time on his romance with Maria. Max had been certain their relationship was doomed from the very start, he knew his best friend way too well. Michael’s ability to stay with a girl longer than a month was legendary, it just didn’t exist. Max had been afraid from the moment his friend had set eyes on Liz Parker’s wacky secretary and obviously he’d been right. Whatever Michael had done had upset not only Maria, but also got Liz riled up, and risked the very foundations of their joint takeover plans. It was simply bad form to mix business and pleasure. Yes Max had tried it with Liz, but she had been sensible enough to see it obviously wouldn’t have worked while they conducted business together. After dealing with a few urgent calls Isabelle had given to him, Max headed towards Michael’s office. From the corridor, Max could hear Michael having a disagreement with someone on the telephone, it was clear Michael wasn’t in the best of moods. Max was sure Michael wouldn’t take his interfering well, but it was something Max felt he had a duty to do. Waiting for his friend to finish his animated and vocal telephone conversation, Max knocked once before entering Michael’s office. Michael Guerin’s office was certainly not like his partner’s. Max’s was clean, smart and somewhat clinical, Michael’s couldn’t be further opposite. Books lay on the floor at the foot of a tall bookcase. Papers and files scattered across the plush leather sofa, writing instruments, cups and other items lay strewed across his large walnut desk. In fact the only thing that was in order and tidy was Michael’s computer, which he was furiously typing away at. “Morning Michael.” “Maxwell.” Michael responded distractedly, not tearing his eyes away from the computer monitor. “Do you have a moment?” Max asked. “I’m kinda busy right now, can’t it wait till later Max?” Michael suggested, still tying away. “I’m afraid not, it’s quite important.” He replied, waiting for Michael to cease clicking away at the keyboard and finally divert his attention to Max. “Ok, go on, I’m listening.” Michael responded reluctantly. “How are you and Maria?” Max queried, waiting for Michael’s reaction. “I
thought you said this was important?” “I
am aware it is your private life Michael, but when it spills into our business
day it does concern me.” Max said pointedly. “Look I know you and Maria aren’t together any more, but ……… but couldn’t you have waited a few more days until we’d handed in the takeover bid? God Michael you’ve compromised everything we’ve worked so hard for!” Max said angrily. “Look, I’m sorry the way things have worked out with Maria and me, and I’m sorry if I’ve jeopardised the takeover and everything, but I didn’t have much choice Max, ok.” “Why did you have no choice Michael? I thought you liked Maria, I thought she was different from the rest?” Max countered. “She
was, she is ……… but I just can’t do it Max.
I can’t let myself get attached and tied down.
I want to be free to live my life as I want to, I’m not ready to settle
down.” Despite his feelings for not wanting the child, he couldn’t help the shame he felt for putting her in the situation she was in. In hindsight, he’d realised they probably hadn’t been as careful as they could have been, and now Maria was having to bear the consequences. “What?” Max said shock filling every ounce of his voice. “Is Maria ……….. pregnant?” Max added still aghast. Out of everything, the thought that Maria might be expecting hadn’t even crossed his mind. He’d just assumed Michael had decided to move on to the next woman, but this painted a completely different completion on the whole issue. “Yeah ok, I thought you knew.” Michael said, slightly frustrated that he’d assumed his partner was aware and that Max hadn’t even known. Max’s views were not something Michael really wanted to be subjected to. “You got Maria pregnant?” Max clarified, sitting down in the vacant seat opposite Michael’s desk. “Yes Maxwell I did ok. I screwed up and it’s a mess but there you go.” “And how does Maria feel about it?” “I
don’t really know ok. I saw her
the other night and I guess things didn’t go too brilliant.”
Michael said wearily. “Well
I guess I didn’t take the news as well as she wanted me to.
She kinda took me by surprise.” “I asked her if it was mine.” Michael replied, slightly sheepish. “You what? Oh geez Michael, have you no brain? That really isn’t the right thing to say to the woman who has just told you she’s expecting your child.” Max said exasperated at how clueless his friend could be at times. “Ok,
I know I handled that one wrong, I shouldn’t have asked the question, but I
had to, you know, I had to know for sure it was my kid.
You of all people should understand that, I mean you nearly got stung
when we were at Uni and all.” “There’s
not much I can do. I told Maria my
views and she won’t accept them.” “Oh tell me you didn’t say that to Maria yesterday please!” Max responded blowing out a deep breath of exasperation. “Yeah,
why?” “So that’s why you finished with Maria?” Max queried. “Look
I didn’t exactly finish with her, she kind of threw me out and made it clear I
wasn’t welcome anymore. In the end it’s her choice what she wants to do with the
kid. I’ve told her it’s not
what I want and that’s it.” “I don’t want it Max, I don’t want the responsibility of being a father.” “Well
from where I’m standing you don’t exactly have much choice.
If Maria is determined to have the child then you’re just going to have
to stand by her.” Max said
pointedly. “What, you’d do that to your own child? Michael you’ve got a responsibility here, you can’t just walk away.” “I can and I will Maxwell. I told you, I don’t want a kid.” “Michael, I think it’s time you faced up to your responsibilities. I know this isn’t something you want, but it is happening. Maria has made the decision to keep the child, and you have to respect that. I think you need to decide where you want your life to go now Michael. You’ve got the chance of something special. Maria is a wonderful girl, and this baby could cement your relationship. But it’s down to you not to get scared and run away.” “But
I’m not like you Max, I don’t have desires and cravings for a cosy little
wife and a perfect little family. I want to go out, have fun and be free, having a kid just
doesn’t fall into that category.” Heading quickly into his office, Max brushed Isabelle’s advances away. He needed a few moments to compose himself before getting back down to business. Rubbing his fingers across his face, Max took in a deep breath. Previously, he’d thought Michael had simply finished his relationship with Maria because he’d had enough, but the revelation in his colleague’s office had painted a completely different complexion on the situation. Michael was right about one thing though, he did now have the one thing Max desired with his heart, and knew could never buy with all the money in the world. A wife and family was the only thing Max Evans had ever really wanted. From the moment he had left Uni, Max had worked hard and achieved all his aspirations; all bar the one about snagging the girl of his dreams. Of course, he had at least achieved part of that particular dream; he had found the woman of his dreams. Liz Parker was everything he wanted in a woman and so much more. Just the mere thought of getting close enough to Liz to make her his wife or the slightest possibility of children with her sent shivers down his spine. But Michael was in that unenvious position where his girlfriend was pregnant, and the thought of Michael running away and leaving Maria angered Max. The poor girl was alone when she most needed Michael to support her. But his hands were tied; all the words in the world couldn’t sway Michael if his mind was made up. Reaching for his phone, all Max could hope for was that Michael would eventually see sense and maybe realise he was wrong in pushing Maria away. Only time would tell if that would happen. The following morning, when Max and Liz met to finish the last few items on the agenda before the take-over bid was presented to the Edwardian Group, things had thawed somewhat. Liz was much more amenable to Max’s suggestions and even bowed to his judgement on a few of her ideas. To Max, it was certainly the first step on the road to rebuilding their fragile friendship. The hostility of their previous meeting had been doused, that was clear. To Max, he sensed her obvious protests of the day before had a lot to do with his colleague’s behaviour towards Liz’s secretary, rather than anything Max had actually done. He guessed that maybe Liz had decided to get the meetings over as soon as possible, rather than question every item he brought up. “Well, I think that was very productive.” Max said, linking fingers and stretching his arms above his head in a relaxed manner as their meeting drew to a close. “Yes, I think it was good. Now that we’ve ironed out the few problems we can proceed and finally hit Edwardian with our plan. I think this could certainly be an offer they’ll struggle to refuse.” “I think you could be right there Liz.” He replied, flashing his trademark grin her way. “Well, if that’s all ……… “ Liz started; suddenly feeling slightly upset their meeting was drawing to close. It had not only been a productive meeting on the work front, it has also been nice to be back on friendly terms with Max again. Deciding to go into the meeting and forget about Maria’s troubles was the best thing she’d done in ages, she concluded. All the angst and friction between them was slowly cooling, and although she knew she would never feel the warmth of his arms again, having his friendship was a nice second best. “I think that’s all.” Max said, glancing at his watch. It was a little after 12.30pm, and his stomach was eagerly requesting some sort of nourishment. The next thought that popped into his mind was a rather risky one. Lunch was appealing, but definitely more enticing if there was company. “Would ………. Would I be way out of line if I extended an invitation of lunch to you?” Max asked, somewhat hesitantly, not wanting to scare Liz away after all their good groundwork that morning. “Yes, you probably would be out of line …….. but actually lunch would be nice.” Liz replied, surprised at the sudden bubble of happiness rising inside her. Pleased he couldn’t see her emotions on the inside, Liz allowed the happiness and warm feelings to spread throughout her body. She may have made Max painfully aware they were nothing more than business colleagues, but her own heart didn’t have to believe her feeble words. “Great! Let’s go then.” Max replied gleefully, somewhat surprised at the ease in which Liz accepted his invitation. Yet he certainly wasn’t going to knock it back, she was amenable to spending additional time together and that could only be a plus sign. After finding a table at the lively Remy’s Bar, they quickly ordered food and received their ice-cold beverages. For a few short moments the air around them felt somewhat strained, neither really knowing what to say. This was their first time together, outside the boardroom, since the night they had been mugged, and both silently thought back to the passionate kiss they had shared in the restaurant before the night had turned sour. Neither also wanted to look straight at the other either, for fear of what their eyes might give away. Staring longingly into the other’s eyes would definitely give off completely the wrong vibes, they both quietly believed. “So ……… I talked to Michael yesterday.” Max announced, breaking the suffocating silence. “Really, did he say anything to you?” Liz enquired eagerly. She was certainly curious to see what Michael had told Max, “Well ……. He told me about Maria’s predicament.” “Oh, so you know?” “Yeah, I know.” “What did he say then?” She asked. “Nothing that’s positive for Maria I’m afraid. He hasn’t taken the news very well, and, to be honest, I think he’d in denial at the moment. He seems to think he can wash his hands of the problem and just walk away, but it doesn’t work that way.” Max said sombrely. “Did you talk to him? Try and make him see sense?” Liz queried. “Yeah I talked to him, told him how stupid he was being, how he has a responsibility to Maria and the child, but it didn’t do any good. He just can’t seem to accept the responsibility, or more like he doesn’t want to.” “Is there nothing you can do?” She asked hopefully. “I’m his friend and business partner Liz, but that’s where my involvement ends. I can’t force Michael to face up to the situation or acknowledge the responsibility, that’s down to him to do.” Max replied, secretly wishing there was something he could do to solve the problem Maria was in. “And what about Maria? She just has to shoulder the responsibility until Michael grows up enough to accept it?” Liz said somewhat angrily. “I know it’s hard Liz, but there just isn’t anything either of us can do. If Michael wants to walk away from this then that’s his choice. It isn’t right and it certainly isn’t fair on Maria, but that’s just the way it is and we have to accept it. “But it isn’t fair Max, it’s Maria who suffers. She’s my friend too and I hate seeing her hurt like she is.” “I know, and I’m very sorry for her to be stuck like this. If there’s anything I can do to help her in any way, please tell Maria to let me know. She can come to me for anything, help, support, money, I’ll make sure she and the baby are provided for.” Max said sincerely, genuinely feeling sorry for the young secretary. “Thanks Max, but I think the only thing Maria wants and needs right now is for Michael to accept that they are in this mess together, and to face up to his responsibility as a father.” “I don’t think she should hold her breath though, that isn’t Michael’s style. You kind of need to bang his head against a brick wall before you can get through to him.” Max said, somewhat joking. Their food arriving cooled the conversation somewhat as they both tucked into the nourishing meal. Light banter was exchanged until every last crumb of food had been devoured. “Oh yeah …….. and just where does Michael get off questioning whether he’s the father? It’s no wonder she blew up at him!” Liz pointed out as two coffees were placed in front of them. “I
know what he said, and that was wrong, but Michael did have good reasons for
asking.” Max said, adding some
milk to his coffee and stirring it absentmindedly. In Liz’s eyes, no matter what Michael thought, he had no right asking so bluntly as to if he was the father, it was as if he was asking if Maria had been sleeping around while seeing him. “Because he knows of a good friend who very nearly got stung by a girlfriend who got pregnant. She’d told him it was his child, when in fact it wasn’t.” Max told her, looking up at Liz’s face to gauge her reaction. “Really? And you know this for sure? Maybe it was just this friend’s way of getting out of the situation unscathed?” Liz suggested rather unkindly. “Oh I know it wasn’t just a way of avoiding blame, that isn’t something he would have done. He’s a decent guy who would have never turned his back on his responsibility.” Max replied. “How can you be so sure?” Liz queried once more, still unconvinced. “Because I’m that guy.” Max informed gently, watching the words hit Liz and her face slowly soften. “Oh …………….” She exclaimed, knowing she’d obviously put her foot in a sticky situation. “I was in my last year at Uni, I’d been dating this girl, Pam Troy, for nearly two years. She was nice and everything, but it wasn’t anything too serious, just fun while we were at Uni I guess. Well, just before my exams she told me she thought she was pregnant. It was a big shock and everything, but I took it well I think. I did everything right, stayed with her while she did the test, looked after her, told her it would be ok, said I’d always be there for her. And I meant what I told her Liz, it wasn’t just words, I knew I’d always provide for her and the baby.” He said sincerely. “What happened?” She asked gently, knowing there was obviously a twist in the story. “Everything seemed to be going fine, Pam was having a rough time with morning sickness, but I was always there by her side. I went with her when we told her parents, and then we went together to tell mine. That was the hardest thing I ever did. I love my parents dearly, but it was clear they were disappointed in me. My mother was upset but held herself together well, and my father just said I’d have to do the right thing, have the child born within wedlock. Granted I’d never thought about marriage, but it did seem the right course of action. I bought a ring, started looking for a place to live; things were just flowing along nicely. The problem came when we went along for her three-month scan. It was then that the doctor said there had been a miscalculation in the conception date, she was in fact just over four months pregnant.” Max told Liz. “And this was a problem?” She asked, unsure. “Yeah, I hadn’t been in the state four months previously. I’d been on a work placement in New York for two months, so it was physically impossible for the child to be mine.” “Oh …….. What happened?” “Well,
she admitted she’d had a one night stand with one of her lecturers while I was
away.” “How did you feel?” “Used, hurt and sad I guess. Definitely angry and betrayed that she’d cheated on me, it was something I’d never expected, and nobody wants to be used. But I also felt sad …… sad not because of Pam, but because of the baby. I was 21 years old, and previously hadn’t even thought about fatherhood, but that baby over the month we knew about it felt so real. It took me a while to accept that I was back on my own again.” “What
happened to Pam?” “I
bet your parents were pleased.” “Yeah, I’ll bet.” Liz replied, smiling back. For a few very brief moments, Liz considered telling Max about her own predicament while at Uni. But the moment passed almost as quickly as it hit her. In telling him, Liz would have to talk about Kyle, and that would drag up all the attack and then how she’d walked out on Max like she had. They were getting on so well, finally able to be in each other’s company without snapping at the other, she didn’t want to ruin it. Telling Max would only open up her own deep wounds, and that was something she didn’t want to do. The following morning, Max and Liz presented the take-over bid to The Edwardian Group. It was bold, audacious and extravagant, but as they had both predicted, a bid that the board of the Edwardian Group couldn’t pass up. By the end of the week, the bid had been finalised, and the country read about it in the morning papers. It was billed as the biggest coo in the hotel leisure industry, a takeover done under the cover of darkness, no one suspecting or expecting it. It was testament to the hard work and long hours put in by Max, Liz and their co-workers, the plan went smoothly and all were immensely pleased with the success and results. Yet, for both Max and Liz, it was tinged with a little sadness. For the partnership of Evans Consulting and The Amber Inn Group was coming to a close. No more would they need to have meetings, or take working lunches. No more would they need to talk on the telephone or use business as a masquerade. And as he strolled out of the Amber Inn offices one last time, Max wasn’t sure the next time he’d cross that path again. Meeting Liz had been wonderful, explosive and very special, but in essence it had all come to nothing. Liz had pushed away every advance he had made. More than once he had cursed their luck with the mugger, wondering what would have happened if Liz hadn’t been scared off like she had. Questioning where the night might have led, perhaps Liz might have allowed the roll of love to keep obtaining momentum. Or maybe she would have seen sense a few days or weeks down the line and he still would have got hurt. In his heart, Max knew it wasn’t just the mugging that had caused Liz to freak out. It was obvious that sometime, somewhere Liz would have got scared, and bolted like a frightened rabbit in front of dazzling headlights. It was part of her nature, her self-defence mechanism to keep her safe. Climbing into his Lamborghini, Max sighed before putting the key into the ignition and turning over the sweet sound of the roaring engine. It certainly felt good to have his car back, good as new, from the repairers; it was the one good thing in his life at that moment. As he pulled out of the car park, his heart ached, and his mind wondered if he’d ever see the spitfire also known as Liz Parker again.
PART 22
Turning into the large courtyard, Alex wondered for the umpteenth time what he was doing there. It was a bright, sunny Sunday morning, and he had just pulled into the beautiful Casa Dulce Ranch. The horse riding stables were very large and spacious. A magnificent country ranch house stood at the end of the courtyard and vast open fields and trees stretched out as far as the eye could see. Parking his car in what he hoped resembled a parking bay, Alex slowly climbed out and headed towards the house. Knocking once, he surveyed the outside as he waited for someone to invite him in. The grey cobblestone brickwork signified it was an old cottage, the wooden shutters and heavy oak door also dating the place in time. It looked quaint and inviting from the outside, something Alex was grateful for as he was still having reservations whether agreeing to the rendezvous had been a good idea or not. Ever since he had met the blond beauty at James’ Valenti’s dinner party a while ago, Alex hadn’t been able to get the vision of the stunning Isabelle Evans out of his head. She’d done her utmost to seduce him that night, but like a perfect gentleman he had rebuffed her advances politely. His mind had continued to remember her though, dreaming about her; despite the fact their paths invariably would never cross after the party. For Alex, he was content with just fantasising about what it would have been like to have a relationship with her. So when, out of the blue, she had called him, he had most certainly been knocked off his feet for a few moments. Her voice sounded even more enticing, somewhat sexy as she spoke to him on the telephone. He’d been reeled in, hook, line and sinker, and before he’d known what had hit him, Alex had agreed to meet her that Sunday afternoon. Many times since that call, he had thought how much of a bad idea this was. He was attracted to her, without a doubt, but he didn’t want just some fun. He was after commitment, love and a family, all the things that had been missing from his life for almost as long as he could remember. And, for Alex, he was sure Isabelle was far too young to commit at that moment in her life, their age gap of five years was just too great according to him. So here he was, standing on the grey slate step by the front door, waiting to be greeted. His heart was jumping around inside, his pulse racing at lightening speed. Taking a few deep breaths he tried to install calm and regain his composure before he saw her again. As the old door swung open slowly with a creak, all of Alex’s efforts to calm his nerves few away on the slight gust of wind. His eyes settled pleasingly upon the goddess in front of him, and he was powerless to stop the smile creeping across his face. It seemed like an eternity since he had last seen her, but, unbeknown to Isabelle, she had visited his dreams almost every night since their brief but very profound meeting. She was dressed a lot differently from the first time he had met her. Back then, at the party, she had been dressed up formally, her hair and make up flawless. Standing in front of him now though she wore faded blue jeans, and a fitted chequered red and cream shirt and her hair was tied loosely in a plait at the back of her neck. Only the merest hint of make up decorated her already stunning face, making her look even younger than her 22 years. “Hi.” She said softly, blushing slightly under his intense stare. “Hi Isabelle.” He replied, finally finding his voice, throwing a comforting smile her way. “So, are you ready for some fun?” She queried, trying to sound confident as they headed back out to the courtyard. He looked in somewhat of a daze, Isabelle thought to herself; perhaps her idea of going ‘back to basics’ and winning him over by using her innocent charm was good! He looked just as handsome as he had in his smart suit at the dinner party, she thought. His black jeans were well fitted, a white t-shirt just showed underneath a light blue chequered shirt that hung loosely over his waistband. His jet-black hair was swept back with gel and the dark glasses that shielded his eyes from the hot California sunshine made him look even more mysterious. “Erm yeah ………. what sort of fun are you talking about? You didn’t really give much away on the phone the other day.” Alex said as they passed his car. “Well, I thought since it’s a lovely day, we could go riding and have a picnic. What do you think?” She queried. “You can ride can’t you?” She added quickly, panicking somewhat for a moment. She’d assumed he could ride a horse, and for a moment she wished she’d asked him on the phone rather than guessing. “Well, I haven’t ridden in a while, but I’m sure I’ll manage.” Alex grinned warmly, seeing the relief rush over Isabelle’s face. “Great! Let’s get going then.” She said enthusiastically, leading them into one of the large stables. Picking out a horse for Alex was more difficult than Isabelle had thought. There were a few magnificent black stallions, but she was somewhat afraid they would be too spirited if Alex hadn’t rode in a while. In the end, she settled on a dark brown horse by the name of Duffy. The young thoroughbred was a little over five years old, and trained enough not to take advantage if Alex showed wariness. Isabelle on the other hand knew exactly which horse she was having for their afternoon of fun. She’d been up to the stables ever since she was a young child, and she had nurtured her horse from a baby foal. Tawny was a beautiful snowy white horse, with a quiet, calming temperament. Once they had saddled up the horses and found riding hats, Isabelle collected her rucksack that contained their picnic and slipped it on to her back. Mounting her horse, she led them out of the paddock and onto the open green hills that stretched for miles and miles. Sitting in a quiet coffee shop, Liz attempted to take charge of her life. She’d gone out to do some shopping, or more get away from the quietness at home and get her mind off from a certain dark haired Adonis. She’d tried to kid herself that he didn’t matter, that she was over him now he was out of her life, but it was no good. Every time she closed her eyes she saw him staring back, every time she thought about work his thick, silky voice would jump into her mind. He was everywhere and nowhere all at the same time, and it was driving her crazy. And so, here she was, sipping a hot cappuccino trying to think of anything that didn’t remotely resemble Max Evans. Shopping had been a monumental disaster; she was the first to admit it. She’d been hell bent on blowing some hard earned money and revamping her wardrobe. But all she’d managed to pick up was a pair of tailored navy trousers and a black cashmere sweater, not exactly mind-blowing fashion! Oh she wasn’t complaining she’d let him go, well not exactly, but in kind. Her mind was happier, felt safer and much more in control. Yet her heart still yearned for his tender touch and gentle kisses, no matter how she tried to forget. She’d even gone as far the previous evening to call her parents for a brief chat, and rest bite from the pain of shunning Max. It had been a big milestone for Liz. She’d barely spoken to her parents in well over a month, normally snatching a few words in between crises at work, and she certainly hadn’t seen them in over six months. Busy at work was an acceptable excuse each time Nancy or Jeff suggested she come visit. It wasn’t that Liz didn’t want to see her family, it was just they reminded her so much of the past. Shutting them out was so much easier than running the risk that one of them could get hurt or leave her, that pain to Liz would be too great. She didn’t quantify the fact that in shutting them out she was acting as if they didn’t exist and therefore it wouldn’t matter what happened to them. The fifteen-minute conversation with her mother had been rather difficult and somewhat strained. Nancy had asked all the right questions, how work was going, was her daughter looking after herself and such, but it was clear she longed to ask just one question. From the moment the words had uttered past her lips, Nancy had wished she could retract them. All she wanted was for Liz to come and see them, so they could make sure she was ok. But the words had got Liz’s guard up and put her on the defensive, the conversation had ended very quickly after that. No matter how many steps forward Liz took, she couldn’t turn around and run back home. Fear was the only thing stopping her, fuelling her desire not to head back to her parents and sister. For she was afraid she would slip back into the young, innocent Lizzie Parker she’d been before Kyle had been ripped away from her arms. Her parents, especially her father Jeff, still saw her as a little girl, no matter her achievements in her career. And she couldn’t go back to that, even for a single day. And so, here she was, watching the world go by as she assessed her own dwindling life. Her career was great, James loved everything she did, to him she was the girl with the Midas touch, but was it enough? Would she, like Jim had warned, wake up thirty years from now and regret the decisions she had made in life. Would she ever be able to let someone into her life again, let her own heart experience love once more? Or was she destined to be alone for the rest of eternity, alone to count the money of her success, but no one to share it with. Despite everything, all the choices she had made in pushing Max away, she felt alone. No matter how she was sure it was the right decision, she couldn’t shake the niggling feeling that she missed him and felt undeniably lonely. They’d rode for a little over an hour although to Alex it felt like hardly any time at all. They’d chatted, admired the scenery and generally enjoyed each other’s company. It had been a long time since Alex had mounted a house, but with Isabelle as his teacher he soon remembered all the fundamental actions required to stay upright and keep the horse under control. Dismounting her horse nearby a quietly bubbling creak, Isabelle tied her horse to a tree before removing the rucksack from her back. Pulling a red blanket from the bag, she shook it out and laid it on to the lush green grass. Following her suit and tying his horse to another tree, Alex watched in somewhat amazement as Isabelle placed the food out onto the blanket. It was clear to him that she had put a great deal of thought into the selection that greeted him. A box crammed full of different kinds of sandwiches, salad, potato chips, cakes and various other goodies. He found his mouth watering just at the sight, and his stomach began to rumble in quiet anticipation. “You can sit down, I won’t bite I promise.” Isabelle bantered, watching Alex standing, staring down at the food. “What? Oh sorry I was just looking at the wonderful spread. I feel rather guilty I didn’t contribute to it.” He said shamefully as he sunk to his knees beside her. “Nonsense, you’re my guest, I invited you for the company not because I wanted you to bring anything. Wine?” She said, handing him a plastic glass filed with bubbly white liquid. “Thanks.” He replied, taking a sip of the sweet drink. Eagerly tucking into the mass of food, the conversation subsided somewhat. The peacefulness of the surrounding field, coupled with the gentle rushing noise of the creak added to the serenity of the moment. The soft sun hitting her already glistening hair made Isabelle look even more beautiful to Alex, if that was possible. Her eyes flickered happily as she watched him enjoy her food, and he was somewhat pleased he’d brought his dark glasses along, for they hid his eyes and his true feelings for her. “So Alex, what’s with your colleague Liz and my big brother?” She asked somewhat jokingly. “Who knows Isabelle, who knows!” He replied laughing. “I’m sure whatever it is things will work out for the best.” He added, not wanting to give too much away. “Yeah? I hope you’re right. Max has been walking around like a bear with a sore head for most of this week!” She laughed. Watching her full of joy and happiness tugged at Alex’s heart. It was clear Isabelle Evans was not just a pretty face, she was also an amazing woman all rolled into one. It made his decision to not pursue a relationship with her even harder. Oh he could justify his actions, but he couldn’t control the pang of pain in his heart at the though of never tasting a little fun with the beautiful girl. Staring back at his beautiful eyes, she wondered what he was thinking about. It was clear he was lost in his own world for a few moments, a dreamy, faraway look spread over his face. She wondered also, if perhaps her dream self was somewhere with him in that faraway place. He was everything Isabelle was looking for in a man, and more. He had cute, appealing looks, but it was his ability to be goofy and serious all at the same time that she loved. He had so many faces, so many sides like a kaleidoscope caught in a beam of sun; she longed to investigate every single part of him. He was fun and full of life, something that seemed infectious to everyone around him. It was this particular side of Alex that Isabelle loved so much. She craved a happy, fun loving person who could make her laugh and treat her like a lady, not a self-confessed workaholic like her brother clearly was. In a split second, Isabelle deliberated her next plan of attack. She wanted to do something bold, something that would make Alex sit up and take notice of her once and for all. Something that would make Alex see her not as Max Evans’ little sister, but see her as whom she was, Isabelle Evans, 22 year old beauty. Twisting her body around, she swung her legs away from Alex, so her body was much more closer to him. Her eyes sparkling and a vixen like smile caught on her lips, she slowly, carefully lent in towards Alex. Had he of had a little more wine, perhaps Alex would have been caught off guard, but he wasn’t fooled. He wasn’t some silly schoolboy, he knew a potential come on when he saw one. It was clear to him what Isabelle was about to do, and his heart jumped for a moment. His mind raced, he thought quickly on what to do. He had two options, stop her and gloss over the moment, or take the easy way out and lay back and enjoy the feeling already coursing through his charged body. Perhaps a more insensitive guy would have taken the second option and lapped up Isabelle’s advances, but not Alex. He didn’t want to hurt her by rebuffing her advances, but he also didn’t want to give her false hope. This was just two friends enjoying a Sunday afternoon out, nothing more. Certainly nothing romantic was going to happen if Alex could help it. The thought of the moment when their lips touched drove Isabelle on further. Hands planted firmly on the ground to keep her balance, she lent in further, until she was inches away from her goal. Their eyes locked for a moment, and time stood still. Both tried to gauge the other’s feelings, trying to decide what move to make next. It was now or never, they both thought. Just as she started to cover the few inches between them, Alex gently but firmly caught hold of her arm, restricting Isabelle’s advances towards him and making sure she remained a safe distance from his body. For a moment she was startled, surprised at his reaction to her attempt to kiss him. She’d been sure he was feeling the same way about her; sure he really did want her to kiss him. So why then had he stopped her so close to his lips? “Alex?” She queried softly, not moving from where she was. “I’m sorry Isabelle, I can’t do this.” He said, turning away from her slightly to put a little distance between their heat charged bodies. “Can’t do what? It’s just a kiss?” She complained slightly. “It starts with a kiss, but then rapidly spirals out of control …….. and I can’t do that Isabelle.” He said, looking down at the ground. “Don’t ………… don’t you like me?” She asked, her voice full of pain and rejection. “Oh Isabelle!” He cried softly, finally turning to look at her and seeing the pain he had just caused her painted over her face. “It’s not you …… it’s me.” He said, using a line that so many people had used before him. “What’s you? I don’t understand Alex. I though ……. I thought you wanted me to kiss you?” “I think you’re an amazing girl Isabelle, but we can never be more than friends. I’m sorry but that’s just the way it’s got to be.” He said, trying to mask his own feelings to the words he was saying. The words scalded his mouth like he was eating a hot pepper covered in Tabasco sauce. They were words he knew he had to say, but in uttering them he knew he was killing off any chance he had with Isabelle. The pain and rejection she was feeling was something she wouldn’t forgive him for, he was sure of that, and it cut him to the core to know he was pushing her away. Oh how he wished he could choose to fall out of love with Isabelle, rather than hurt her so brutally. “Why can’t we be more than friends Alex? I really like you; you’re like no other man I’ve met. You’re funny, you make me laugh, please don’t push me away.” She told him, bearing her heart on her sleeve. “I’m sorry Isabelle, but we’re just too different. We want different things; we live very different lives. I’m 26 years old, but feel like I’m going on 50 sometimes. My life is hard work, strained and rarely fun I can assure you. You’re young, bubbly and full of life; I can’t and won’t bring you into my life and dash everything that you are.” He said sincerely. It was true what he told her, his life was painfully difficult at times. His parents were hard work, and still after the few years that had passed he missed Dahlia so very much. And Alex wasn’t enough for them, he knew that clearly. They still longed for their lost daughter, and a son who’d been a mistake when he was born didn’t fill that void. In his life all he really had was his job, and although he loved working for The Amber Inn Group, he still desired someone to love him and a new family of his own. Bringing Isabelle into his complicated life wouldn’t be fair on her, he knew that. “But …….” She started. “Please Isabelle, this is really hard for me. I’m sorry I’m hurting you, but I just can’t do this. I can’t take this further and then hurt you even more down the line. You’re a great girl, go out and have some fun with your life. There are plenty of better guys than me out there.” Alex said, hoping and praying she’d just accept his words. “We should get heading back.” She suddenly announced, jumping to her feet and quickly packing away the things. “Sure.” He replied somewhat sadly. His words had clearly done the trick; she’d obviously got his message loud and clear. The ride back to the ranch was deafeningly quiet, slow and sedate; it was obvious she was hurting badly. And, as he pulled out of the courtyard, he was certain he wouldn’t be seeing Isabelle Evans away from work again. He’d done what he had set out to do, got her out of his life, made her see he didn’t want to get involved romantically. So why did his heart ache with pain for her? Why did he feel like he’d just left part of him in her hands and a part of her indelibly printed on his heart?
TBC .......................?
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