Chapter Fifty Nine Mattie sat on the bed as Jimmy kissed her. They were in a hotel room. Jimmy had kissed her until she had been weak all over in some alley and then they had decided to move to the hotel. But Mattie suddenly found herself very nervous. Moving from kisses in an alley to a bedroom was a big; make that a huge, step. Jimmy stopped, as if sensing her disquiet. “We don’t have to do this,” he told her. “I want to,” Mattie whispered. Jimmy kissed her once more. He took her hands and put them on her shirt. “You can unbutton this, if you want,” he said, smiling. Mattie’s hands shook as she unfastened one button. “Mattie,” Jimmy began. “I don’t know why, but I’m really nervous,” she said quickly. “Doesn’t seem quite so natural now that we are here, does it?” he said, lowering his hands from her blouse. Mattie looked at him, her heart in her throat, afraid of what he was going to say next. She had blown another chance, she knew it; she just knew it. “Maybe I could find us a checkerboard,” he continued. “Sure, or we could go back outside or something.” A tear trickled down Mattie’s cheek. “You think a walk would help?” Jimmy asked. “Help?” “Oh, Jeez,” Jimmy said quickly. “I didn’t understand.” He wiped the tear from her cheek. Or maybe she didn’t understand, Mattie thought. “You mean you wanted to stay up here?” “Only if you want to.” Jimmy looked at her solemnly. “I want to,” Mattie said with a small smile. “I was just trying to think of things we did before.” He shrugged. “Make things more natural.” Mattie’s eyes grew brighter. “Checkers would be fun.” She paused, remembering something Violet had told her about her first time with Gerald. “Maybe some wine.” “Maybe some wine,” Jimmy agreed. He gave her a quick kiss before standing up. “I’ll be right back.” When Jimmy left, Mattie went to the mirror, appraising herself. Lord, she thought, she looked terrible. She had lost a great deal of weight, leaving her cheeks sunken and hollow. Her hair was unkept and there were dark circles under her eyes. But she felt pretty good. It doesn’t matter, she told herself. If Jimmy can look past the scars, he can look past the other things. She moved her hands to her hair, wondering if there was some way to make it look better. She found herself missing her long hair once more. Mattie turned when she heard a knock. She opened the door and found one of the train conductors standing there, hat in hand. “Sorry, Ma’am,” he told her contritely. “I hate to bother you.” “It’s okay,” Mattie replied. “Is there something wrong?” She prayed that the train was not leaving earlier than scheduled. “There is a mix up with your bags,” the conductor told her. “Do you mind coming with me to straighten it out?” “Bags?” Mattie frowned. “The train won’t be leaving until tomorrow,” the conductor informed her. “We are trying to get the passengers who prefer to stay in hotels into hotels. You have a room but we aren’t sure which bags are yours.” “I can point them out,” Mattie told him. She went to the dresser and grabbed her key. She was so intent on leaving quickly and coming back just as quickly that she did not see the conductor drop a note on the chair beside the door. “Let’s go,” Mattie said to the conductor, pulling the door shut behind her. Chapter Sixty Jimmy opened the door to their hotel room, a checkerboard under one arm, a bag of checkers in his hand while holding a bottle of wine with the other. “Mattie,” he said, looking around the room. Where could she be? He put the things that he was carrying on the bed. Maybe she went out for something, he thought. Then he saw a note on the chair. He assumed that Mattie had left for him but as he began reading, his heart began to sink. The note was not from Mattie. Hikok I got yer gal. I called you out. Fite or yer gal dies. 200 in front of the hotel Bobby Jimmy balled up the note and threw it before storming out of the room ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Jimmy stood outside the hotel, looking up and down the street; his jaw clenched tightly as his opened and closed his right hand. It felt normal but he knew he would not be able to pull the trigger. Whatever had happened to his arm had affected his ability to pull the trigger with a single finger. He would have to find some way to be able to pull a trigger with more than one finger if he expected to live through many more gunfights. Over the years, he had become more and more dependent on his right hand. Oh sure, in his younger years, when he had time, he could practice shooting with both hands. And both had been equally quick. There just was not as much time anymore. After leaving the Express and joining the Army, Jimmy’s life had changed. He had responsibilities that filled his days. And after the war had ended, he had not practiced much. No one had called him out; there was no need to practice. He raked a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. He prayed Mattie was safe. He was not going to put her in the position Lou had found herself when she had been taken because of him. He would finish this fight now. Promptly at two o’clock, the teenager who had called Jimmy out at the train station appeared. Jimmy swore softly. That stupid kid was the one who had taken Mattie?! “Glad to see you made it, Hickok,” the teenager drawled. He patted the gun at his side. “Ready?” “You wrote that note?” Jimmy exclaimed loudly. “You have Mattie?” He was having a hard time believing any of this. “You want her back, you fight me,” the teenager Jimmy now knew was named Bobby, declared loudly. “Where the hell is she?” Jimmy growled. “If you hurt her…” He let the words hanging in the air, the threat implied. But much to Jimmy’s regret, the teenager did not pick up on what Jimmy was trying to tell him. That involving women in this is game, particularly the woman he cared about, made this whole idiotic scenario much more than a game. “You’ll what?” Bobby laughed. Jimmy shook his head, wishing the whole stupid situation would just vanish. He was being called out by a kid. He reminded himself that this the kid had Mattie. He also reminded himself that his right hand was not working properly. This situation was more than stupid; it was potentially very dangerous for both Mattie and him. “Bobby,” an older man wearing a badge, the sheriff Jimmy assumed, called out, “get your ass home.” Bobby shook his head vigorously. “I’m calling him out.” A few more people gathered to watch and Bobby’s chest puffed with pride. A flurry of words was swirling around them as Bobby inched closer to Jimmy. “It’s Wild Bill!” “Get home.” “He don’t want to fight. Coward.” “Get him, Bobby.” It became harder and harder for Jimmy to focus. Too many words were flying around him. Someone had to stop this, but no one was. The crowd just kept growing larger and Bobby’s excitement was increasing. It was palpable. He wanted this fight desperately. Jimmy however felt himself retreat inwardly. He had learned that this was the best way to stay focused. It was hard to keep his concentration though. Mattie was missing and this one thought became more and more dominating as other thoughts crowded inside his mind as well. He did not want to hurt this kid. But he did not want to die. He did not want Mattie to be harmed. What if his hand failed him? “Bobby!” the sheriff shouted. But at that same moment, Bobby also shouted, “Draw!” and drew his weapon from his holster. Somewhere in the growing crowd, Jimmy heard his name being called out as well. Jimmy reacted instinctively. He drew with his left hand and fired. His gun fell to the ground as he watched Bobby crumple into the dirt. Chapter Sixty One Jimmy sat in the sheriff’s office. Mattie was sitting beside him, holding his hand tightly. The sheriff was pacing while a deputy sat across from Mattie and Jimmy, writing Jimmy’s statement. The sheriff shook his head. “I should have stopped it,” he said, his voice full of regret. “Bobby was spoiling for a fight. He wanted a reputation,” the deputy told him. “His brother is a gunfighter,” the sheriff told Jimmy. Jimmy shrugged. “Okay, so you said you found a note, saying your wife was missing and Bobby claimed to have her,” the sheriff said, picking up his previous train of thought, obviously trying to focus on the job at hand, instead of mourning the teenager he had known and liked. “Where is this note?” the sheriff asked. Jimmy shrugged. “Where were you Ma’am?” the sheriff asked Mattie. “On my way back to the hotel. I was at the train station,” Mattie replied. “A conductor came to my room and told me the train was staying overnight. He said that I needed to come down to the station and tell them what bags were ours so they could be sent to the hotel.” Jimmy’s head dropped. The guilt was crushing him. Mattie squeezed his hand tighter. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, “I should have told you.” Jimmy could only shake his head. “It’s not your fault,” Mattie told him. “I didn’t know it would get so far,” the sheriff said mournfully. “I heard about Gabe Caulder and a few others. You let them walk.” He shook his head. The sheriff left the question hanging in the air. Why not let Bobby walk with just a flesh wound? “Bobby played a dangerous game,” the deputy said incredulously. “He claimed to have the man’s wife and you expected him to treat Bobby like the nuisance we all knew him to be? He doesn’t know Bobby. He didn’t know that Bobby asked the conductor to leave the note in the room. Hickok thought this was for real.” The other conductor, who was a friend of Bobby’s, had just left. He had confessed his role in all this, breaking down at the end, knowing that he had had a part in his friend’s death. Mattie nodded her head vigorously, agreeing with the deputy. “You can’t be accusing Jimmy of anything, are you?” she asked pointedly. “No,” the sheriff sighed, “I’m not. We all saw what happened. It was a fair fight.” “A fight that Bobby instigated,” Mattie added, her eyes flashing angrily at the sheriff. “You are free to go,” the sheriff said wearily. When Mattie and Jimmy stood up, he added, “I suggest you leave on the next train out of here. I know your train is broke down but there is another one that will get you to where you are going, eventually.” He paused, before adding his explanation. “Bobby has a brother, Brian, and he is a gunfighter. He’s not in town now but I expect he’ll be back soon enough.” He sighed. “Mrs. Larson doesn’t need to see another boy of hers die at your hand.” Jimmy winced at the sheriff’s words. He knew Bobby was a nuisance. He didn’t have to know the boy personally to understand that. Hell, one look was all it took. He could have let the boy walk with a flesh wound. But he did not. Yet he still felt the need to speak up, to try to explain himself to the sheriff. “Mattie ain’t been feeling well.” “The conductor told us,” the deputy said, misunderstanding Jimmy’s last statement. “They made arrangements for you to have a sleeping car in the other train.” He looked at Mattie, “So you will be comfortable.” Then he glanced back at Jimmy. “The train will get you to Iowa; it is just not as direct a route as your original train. But it shouldn’t add more than a day or two to your trip.” “Thank you,” Mattie replied. She tugged on Jimmy’s hand. “Let’s go,” she told him. Numbly Jimmy rose to his feet, blindly obeying everyone around him. Why bother to explain? Did it really matter? That boy was still dead. “You’ll get our bags on the other train?” Mattie asked the deputy as they stood by the door. “Yes, Ma’am, I will,” the deputy replied. Chapter Sixty Two Mattie ran her hand over the bed cover. “Nice, huh?” she said, continuing to make idle chatter while Jimmy remained silent. But the sleeper car was more than nice. It was magnificent. Two leather covered benches faced each other with a window on one side, very similar to the other train they had been in, except this car was divided into several good sized, private compartments. When they entered their compartment, the conductor had lowered a bed from the ceiling and placed it over the two benches which he had flatted out. She glanced at Jimmy. She did not think he had said two words to her since they left the sheriff’s office. Damnable sheriff, he was trying to blame Jimmy for that stupid boy’s idiocy. Mattie stood up and put her arm on his. Jimmy was standing by the car door, staring at nothing. “It’s not your fault.” “Whose fault is it?” Jimmy asked, suddenly exploding. Mattie shrank at his words, but only a bit. “Bobby’s,” she said firmly. Jimmy laughed mirthless. “Yeah, he killed himself. I wasn’t even there,” he said mockingly. “You were in the middle of the street; it was crazy out there, people shouting, everyone gawking. Even some lawmen were there and no one did anything!” Mattie exclaimed. “What were you supposed to do? Let him shoot you?” “Wing him!” Jimmy shouted back. He jerked the car door open. “Where are you going?” Mattie cried. “I need a drink,” Jimmy told her, his voice becoming calmer. He gave her a small nod before leaving. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Mattie awoke with a start. Someone was opening the door. She sat up, clutching the sheet against her. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw it was Jimmy. About damn time too, she thought irritably. He had been gone for hours. She had sat in the room for a while not knowing what else to do, then she went to the dining car for a meal. She was finally hungry and since she was feeling better she wanted to get out and see more of this train. When she had returned, Jimmy was still not back, so she waited and waited some more. She had planned on waiting up for him but as it turned out, she had drifted off. Jimmy stumbled as he crossed the small car. “You’re drunk,” Mattie said. He reeked of alcohol. “Yep.” He held up a bottle. “I plan to get a little more drunk too.” He sat on the bed, opening the bottle and taking a long swig. “Jimmy.” Mattie shook her head. “Are you gonna lecture me?” he snapped. “Today of all days? I killed someone! I killed a kid who had his whole life ahead of him.” “He was going to kill you,” Mattie said softly. “I was better than him,” Jimmy replied, his voice becoming as soft as Mattie’s. He laughed bitterly. “Key word - was.” The bottle slipped to the floor, the light brown liquid trickled slowly out. “I was faster than him. But I don’t know if I was a better shot. Not anymore,” he added sorrowfully. He spoke once more. Mattie was not sure he was speaking to her or himself. “I didn’t think I would be able to get another shot off if I missed. I didn’t know if I could hit what I was aiming for with my left hand. I just didn’t know what to do. What if I missed? What would happen to you if I missed?” He looked at Mattie before continuing, his eyes so full of anguish she could barely look at him. “What if I winged him but he was able to get another shot at me?” he choked out the last few words. “Don’t do this,” Mattie beseeched him. He was tearing himself to shreds. And she did not know how to stop it. “So I made a choice. I shot him. I killed him.” He turned, his eyes blazing. “Do you hear me? I killed him.” “Jimmy,” Mattie said, putting her hand on his injured arm. “This is all my fault. You got hurt because of me.” “It’s not your fault,” Jimmy sighed. He met her eyes, cupping her check with his good hand. “I didn’t want to die,” he admitted, his voice full of anguish. “Most folks don’t,” Mattie said lightly. She wanted him to smile, take away some of his sorrow. And she was rewarded with a faint smile. Jimmy took her hand and kissed her wrist, slowing making his way toward her elbow. Mattie felt her insides churn, all the desire she had always felt for him had just increased a thousand fold. “I didn’t want to die and leave you,” Jimmy said quietly. “I love you.” He leaned in and kissed her. Mattie wrapped her arms around him and he eased her back onto the bed, kissing her lips, her cheeks, and her neck. He moved a hand under her nightgown and then suddenly pulled away as he sat upright on the bed beside her. “I can’t,” he said, his breath coming quickly as he stared at the ceiling. “We were about to this afternoon,” Mattie reminded him. She turned onto her side, propping herself on one elbow. “I forgot, okay, I forgot how much danger you’d be in around me,” Jimmy snapped, turning his head back to look at her. “You forgot?” Mattie said incredulously. “I wanted to forget!” “What the hell does that mean?” Mattie retorted as she sat up as well. “You saw what could happen to you today.” “I also know what the doctor said would happen to me,” Mattie told him quietly. She got on her knees and wrapped her arms around Jimmy. “I don’t know what tomorrow will bring and I don’t care. I care about you. I care about now.” “Don’t,” Jimmy shook his head. “Don’t what?” “Don’t touch me like that.” Jimmy grabbed her hands and held them in front of her. “I’m drunk and you’re beautiful.” He caressed her hands in a way that made Mattie feel faint, in a good way, she smiled to herself. Not faint the way she had felt of late. But she felt a surge of bewilderment as Jimmy seemed content to caress her hands. “Aren’t you going to kiss me?” Mattie whispered. Jimmy gave her a sad smile. “I always want to kiss you. But I shouldn’t.” “Then I’ll kiss you.” Mattie pressed her lips against his and Jimmy kissed her back. They fell back together on the small bed, exploring each other’s bodies. Mattie felt him remove his gun belt. Then Jimmy stopped, watching her carefully. “Even now?” he asked quietly. “Even after what you saw today? You still want me?” “All I saw was a man trying to defend himself,” Mattie answered softly. She put her lips on his cheek as Jimmy buried his face against her neck. “Want to hear something awful?” Jimmy raised his head and nodded, his eyes filled with sadness as he appeared to be expecting bad news. “I wanted you to kill him,” Mattie admitted. Jimmy looked shocked; as if that was the last thing he had expected to hear. God, she had been so ashamed, wishing harm upon someone else. It was utterly selfish. But she did not care. That boy had been selfish too. He had been trying to take something away from Jimmy. He had been trying to take something away from her too. She smoothed Jimmy’s hair back from his eyes. “I wanted you to stay with me. I didn’t care what it took.” Mattie held Jimmy against her. “I love you,” she whispered. She slowly unbuttoned his shirt and his trousers. “I love you too,” Jimmy murmured pulling her closer and kissing her. Chapter Sixty Three Jimmy ran his hands down Mattie’s back. It was scarred but he did not see any areas that needed tending to, save one. “Don’t,” Mattie murmured sleepily. She grabbed the sheet and pulled it higher. Jimmy kissed the back of her neck. “Shy?” he teased. He had learned last night that Mattie was not shy, not at all. He knew exactly where this conversation was heading. Mattie pushed at his hand. “Stop.” She turned over to look at him, still clutching the sheet against her. “Are we really going to talk about your scars again?” Jimmy asked, stroking her cheek. “I don’t give a damn about your back.” He paused. “No,” he said, “I do give a damn.” Mattie frowned. “There’s a spot there that’s not looking so good,” he added. Mattie sat up, still pulling the sheet against her as she turned her head to try to look at her back. “Where?” Jimmy touched it lightly. “There.” Mattie flinched. “When’s the last time you put any salve on it?” Mattie shrugged. “There didn’t seem to be any point lately.” She looked away. “You’re feeling better,” Jimmy said, turning her head to look back at him. Mattie nodded. “Maybe you’re getting better.” “Maybe,” Mattie said but Jimmy saw the skepticism in her eyes. “Do you have salve?” Mattie pointed at her bag. Jimmy moved to the bag and opened it. Inside he found some food and a jar with a white cream in it. He unscrewed the lid and made a face. It smelled awful. “I don’t remember Linda’s potions smelling like this.” “That’s another reason I haven’t put any on,” Mattie told him. “Teaspoon made this batch. Violet put some on me before we left and it did help even though it reeks.” “Why did Teaspoon make some?” Jimmy asked. “He thinks his stuff is better than Linda’s.” Jimmy smiled. Old man always thought whatever he said or did was better than anyone else. “Lay down,” he said and when Mattie lay on her stomach, Jimmy moved the sheet down and massaged the salve into her back. Mattie flinched when he touched her and every muscle in her back tensed but he firmly rubbed the salve into her back. As he continued to knead her shoulders, Jimmy felt her begin to relax. He also felt her body react to his touch. Unable to resist, he leaned down and kissed her neck, just below her ear. “Jimmy,” she murmured. Jimmy sat back up. “Maybe tonight I can give you another massage.” “Too stinky?” she asked but Jimmy knew was she was asking. She wanted some kind of reaffirmation that last night was not just a moment of need for him. “I want you to rest,” he told her quietly. He wanted her to heal, to do everything possible to make whatever time she had left last as long as possible. Jimmy kissed her neck once more. “Save your strength for tonight.” He swatted her bottom playfully. “You’re gonna need it,” he grinned. “Hmph,” Mattie said, her voice muffled by the pillow her face was buried in. Jimmy continued to massage the salve into her back until he had covered every square inch that had been burned. When he finished, he saw that Mattie had drifted off. “Sleep tight,” he murmured, kissing the top of her head. He slid off the bed and put the salve away. He then reached back inside the bag, pulling out some of the food Jane had sent. He was hungry. But he did not want to leave Mattie. When she awoke, they could go to the dining car for a bite. For now, the food in Mattie’s bag would do. Chapter Sixty Four Mattie opened her eyes and stretched her arms over her head, wondering how long she had been asleep. But she did not regret her nap; she felt so good right now. And she even felt hungry. Turning onto her side, she opened her mouth, ready to call Jimmy’s name, when she froze. There was Jimmy lying on the ground, his face the color of paste. Mattie slid quickly off the bed, threw her shift on and ran to his side. “Jimmy, oh Lord, Jimmy, what’s wrong?” “Nothing,” he muttered thickly. He tried to sit up but ended up crumpling back down in a heap. “I must have caught something.” “Does your head hurt?” Mattie whispered, placing her hand on his forehead, a feeling of dread filling her. He felt a little warm. “Yeah,” Jimmy replied. “I just feel so weak.” “You must have caught whatever I had,” Mattie cried. She wrapped her arms around him. “I’m so sorry.” Jimmy shook his head. “Can’t be,” he managed, his voice drained. “The doctor said you developed an infection. Something you caught from being outside, ‘cause you were so weak from your burns. ” “The doctor was wrong!” Jimmy must have caught this illness from her, Mattie was sure of it. He was showing the exact same symptoms she had been. “I’m so sorry. This is the last thing I ever wanted to happen.” She would have never allowed herself to even touch him had she known something like this would happen. Jimmy grabbed her hand. “Mattie,” he said, “listen.” He stopped for a moment, gathering his strength before continuing. “There’s got to be a doctor on this train. Get him. Let’s not jump to any conclusions.” Mattie nodded. She got up and hurriedly put on her clothes and then left their compartment, searching for someone to help her find a doctor. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ “Lay down, son,” the white haired doctor, who happened to be traveling on their train, told Jimmy and he complied with a soft groan. The doctor pulled the sheet over his shoulders and turned to Mattie. “He’ll be fine.” He glanced at the bag and the container sitting atop the bag. It was half empty. “I think he just ate something that disagreed with him.” “Ate something?” Mattie echoed, her heart sinking into her shoes. Jimmy ate something that made him feel like that? Something from her bag? The doctor pointed to the container. “That’s my best guess,” he told her. “Give him some time. If he doesn’t improve by tomorrow, come fetch me, and I’ll take another look at him.” Mattie stared at the container. “He ate something that made him sick,” she said tonelessly. The doctor patted her arm. “I reckon he’ll be fine by tomorrow.” Mattie nodded. “Send for me if he gets any worse,” the doctor said. He moved toward the door. Mattie opened the door. “Thank you,” she said quietly. She stood there, staring at the door long after the doctor had gone, the words, ‘he ate something that made him sick’ ringing in her brain. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ “Mattie,” Jimmy said. “Mattie!” he repeated as loudly as he could manage. Mattie looked terrible and he could hardly blame her. She had obviously come to the same conclusion as he had. “My own grandmother tried to kill me,” she said, her face devoid of any emotion as she turned to face him. Jimmy forced himself to get out of bed and once he reached her side, he enveloped her in his arms. Mattie pushed against him. “Don’t.” Jimmy knew he did not have the strength to fight her but he had to make her see. “I love you,” he told her. “You love me? Shut up, I don’t need to hear that because of last night.” “Mattie,” Jimmy beseeched her, “please don’t do this.” “Do what?” she asked in a bored tone. “We don’t know for sure if Jane tried to hurt you.” “You heard what the doctor said; he said you were sick because of something you ate. Who made all that food? Who has been feeding me for weeks? I have been getting sicker and sicker for weeks, all the while eating my grandmother’s food.” Mattie spat out the word grandmother. “It’s been in the bag for a few days, maybe it is spoilt,” Jimmy said, trying desperately to think of alternative explanations. “My grandmother wants me dead. What kind of person inspires that kind of feeling from a grandmother,” Mattie cried. “I thought grandmothers loved their grandkids more than anything.” She spoke as if she had not even heard him, Jimmy thought sadly. He could only hope that he could get through to her. As he watched her eyes deaden, he knew what was going through her mind. He recalled what Violet had told him about Mattie that she felt abandoned by her father because he had left her to try and save her mother. She felt as if her parents had left her. And now there was this news about Jane. He did not think Mattie was going to be able to handle this information. God only knew what this news was going to do to them. He knew last night was about love and desire, but he also knew it was about need. He had needed Mattie. He had needed to know that someone as good as her could see what he had done and still love him. Mattie needed to know that she was wanted, that a man could still find her desirable. He also understood that she wanted to experience as much of life as she could. Given what she had just heard, Jimmy was certain Mattie had twisted last night into something else. He tightened his arms around her and wrestled her onto the bed, pinning her underneath him, using up the last bit of energy he had. “I love you,” he told her firmly. If Mattie wanted to get away, Jimmy would not be able to stop her. His only hope was that Mattie wanted to stay here, that she believed he loved her. “You don’t have to say that,” Mattie told him. “There’s obviously something wrong with me.” “There’s nothing wrong with you!” Jimmy half shouted, abandoning the idea that his illness due to some kind of accident. This was deliberate; there was no point in denying it. “There’s something wrong with Jane. There’s something wrong with a grandmother being so twisted that all she cares about is money.” Mattie watched him carefully. “Blood doesn’t make a family,” Jimmy told her. “I know that better than most.” He moved a strand of hair from her eyes. “You do too,” he added, thinking about Violet and how her family had cared for Mattie. Her eyes welled up at his words. “Don’t push me away because of something Jane did.” Mattie let out a soft sob and wrapped her arms around Jimmy’s shoulders. Jimmy stroked her hair. “It’ll be okay,” he murmured as Mattie continued to cling to him. “You think that’s why she did it? ‘Cause of the money?” Mattie asked after a long while, her eyes rimmed with red. But she was no longer crying or blaming herself for what had happened. Jimmy let out a sigh of relief. He had gotten through to her. “Yes,” he replied firmly. “And if you’ll give me a little while to recover, we can figure this out. Okay?” Mattie nodded. She buried her head against him. “I won’t bother you if I stay here?” Jimmy smiled. “Here in my arms? I’d be the happiest man in the world if you promise to stay right here.” Chapter Sixty Five Buck read the two telegrams once more as he stood in the telegraph office. One was addressed to Teaspoon, the other to him. “You okay, Mister?” the young clerk asked as he stared at Buck from across the counter. “Huh?” Buck blinked his eyes, trying to make sense of the words. The clerk must have thought he had gotten some terrible news the way he had just been standing there. And he had gotten some terrible news. Or had he? He was having a great deal of trouble trying to make sense of Jimmy’s telegrams. “Oh. Yeah. Fine,” Buck answered finally. He folded one telegram up and put it safely in his pants pocket, the other in his shirt pocket. “Thanks,” he called out as he left the building. He slowly made his way back to the Farthington mansion, his mind in a whirl as he tried to figure out Jimmy’s words. After stabling his horse, he entered the house. “Any news?” Jane asked her face filled with anxiety, as she hurried toward him. She had been asking this question daily, asking anyone who returned from town. For almost a week there had been no news from Mattie and Jimmy. Buck nodded. “There’s a telegram.” “So they are home?” Jane asked quietly. “No,” Buck replied softly. “No?” Jane cried. She sank down onto a settee in the parlor. “They didn’t make it?” “Jane,” Teaspoon said, hurrying into the room. He took a seat beside her. “Buck,” he said, “what happened?” “There was a telegram,” Buck told them both. “And?” Teaspoon said expectantly. Jane turned to him, still crying. “He said they aren’t home.” “Not home? It’s been a week,” Teaspoon exclaimed. “Son, what happened? What does that telegram say?” Buck removed the telegram from his shirt pocket. “In Missouri stop. Mattie did not make it home stop. Made arrangements to have her body sent to Iowa stop. Will return after the funeral.” He handed the telegram to Teaspoon who scanned it quickly. Jane buried her head against Teaspoon’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I should have gone with them.” She raised her tear stricken face. “You can’t think like that,” Teaspoon told her. “She was barely conscious when she left. I don’t even know if she would have realized you were there.” Buck cleared his throat. “I need to tell Violet.” He started up the stairs. “Wait,” Teaspoon called out. When Buck stopped, he said, “I can tell her,” he said heavily. Buck shook his head. “It’s okay. I’ll stay with Violet until you…” he stopped unsure how to phrase it, comforted Jane? He did not like the idea of making Teaspoon and Jane’s affair public. “Are able,” he said finally. Those two had become very close. “Thanks,” Teaspoon said, rubbing Jane’s back as she began weeping anew. Buck knocked on Violet’s door. He entered when he heard her call out, “Come in.” Buck gave her a faint smile. “How are you?” Violet slapped a hand on the bed. “Bored. Any news?” she asked anxiously, knowing Buck had gone to town. “Yes.” Buck shifted his weight from one leg to the other. He shut the door behind him, continuing to fidget. Violet’s eyes filled with sadness. She slid over, making space for him. “Bad news?” “Yes and no,” Buck replied, taking a seat beside her. “What?” Violet looked utterly perplexed. “I got two telegrams,” Buck told her. “Both from Jimmy. One said Mattie was dead.” “No,” Violet cried. “And the other said they would be home soon and for you to try some of my cooking,” Buck finished quickly. “They? They’d be home soon? Mattie is okay?” Violet exclaimed. “Her dying is some kind of ruse?” Buck nodded. “So it seems.” He wished Jimmy had been a little less cryptic but he understood his friend’s reasoning. They did not know who to trust. Why spread the news that Mattie was fine? “So Mattie is alive,” she repeated. “But why should I eat your cooking? Do they suspect Jane of something? Drugging her? Is that why she was ill?” Violet’s mind was whirling with possibilities. “I am guessing that is it,” Buck said. “Jane tried to kill her own granddaughter?” Violet said, shuddering with the thought. “And now they think she is going to try the same thing with me?” “It seems logical,” Buck replied. “All for Amos’ stupid money,” she grumbled. “How am I not going to eat her meals? I mean the goal is for everything to remain as normal as possible. That’s why they sent the two telegrams so Jane would think her plan was working. Right?” Despite everything Buck smiled. Violet had a quick mind. “I can say something about trying some Indian food because I was told it was good for women in your condition. That the food is to make sure the baby doesn’t come early.” “So I get to eat your cooking,” Violet smiled. “Great,” she added teasingly. Buck smiled and Violet put her hand over his. “I don’t know how we are going to pull this off,” she told him, with a shake of her head. “We will figure something out,” Buck said. “We have too.” Ever since Violet had had her scare she had been stuck in bed. But that had not stopped Buck from trying to get to know her. They were at an odd point in their relationship. They were friends with an obvious attraction. But it stopped there. The next step was Violet’s. She had to decide if she was ready to trust her heart again. Thus Buck found himself simply waiting. He held her hand a little tighter. “I won’t let Jane hurt you or the baby,” he vowed. Violet squeezed his hand back. “I know.” Chapter Sixty Six Mattie ran her hand over a dusty table. They were in Witches Peak now, in some dusty cabin about five miles away from Amos Farthington’s house. The cabin was very small. There was only a bed in one corner of the room with a dresser at the opposite wall. A few feet away from the bed was a stove and a table and three chairs. There was one window and across from it, one door. Jimmy had nodded approvingly when he had forced the lock open. He could fix the lock easily so the cabin would be safe, and he liked the fact there was only two points of entry. Mattie found the cabin dark, dusty and depressing. But she did not voice any objections. Where else was she supposed to go? They had taken the stage to a nearby town and then Jimmy had wired Buck again, asking him to meet him there. Mattie did not know how Buck had figured out what Jimmy meant, the telegram made no sense to her. It wasn’t even from Jimmy. The note was from an Ambrose. But Buck had met them with a horse and wagon. Buck, who had also brought his own horse, rode back to Witches Peak as quickly as possible while Jimmy and Mattie traveled a bit more slowly. Jimmy was not supposed to return to Witches Peak officially until tomorrow. Jimmy put the bags in a corner by the bed. “I figure we can hide out here tonight then I’ll go back to the Farthington place and do a little play acting.” Mattie nodded, dreading the day she would be left here alone. Shaking off those thoughts, she asked, “Do we do anything while we’re waiting?” Jimmy leered at her. “I can think of a few things.” Mattie felt herself flush. How had she gotten here, she wondered? The girl terrified of relationships was in one and one that was white hot. She was supposed to be dead but she did not think she had ever felt more alive. “Really?” she said, her voice teasing. “And how is that supposed to keep me alive?” “Life ain’t worth living without a little bit of happiness,” Jimmy told her, the bantering tone in his voice disappearing when he asked, “Are you happy?” “Yes,” Mattie whispered. She moved toward Jimmy, putting her hands on his shoulders. “Very happy. I was just feeling kinda blue thinking about hiding out her all alone.” “All alone?” Jimmy exclaimed. “You think I’d leave you alone? Knowing someone is trying to kill you?” Mattie shrugged. “I’m hidden away.” “You ain’t gonna be here alone,” Jimmy assured her. “I’ll be here as much as I can.” “And that won’t be suspicious?” “I’m grieving. Grieving men spend time alone, nights in the saloon getting drunk,” Jimmy informed her. “Are you some kind of expert?” she asked tartly. “Nope. Not first hand, at least. But I’ve seen men grieve when they lose someone they love.” He tightened his arms around her. “I can’t lose you. I love you, Mattie.” Mattie stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. “I love you too,” she murmured. “Now I have a favor for you.” Jimmy looked at her, frowning. “I want you to sneak me in to see Violet,” she continued. “What?” Jimmy yelled. “I haven’t seen her in a while and Buck told us she was confined to bed. I want to make sure she is okay.” Buck had told them about Violet’s condition when he had brought the wagon. “I don’t think that is such a good idea.” “It probably isn’t,” Mattie agreed. “But it’s something I need to do.” Jimmy eyed her disapprovingly. “Please, I just need to see her with my own eyes, okay?” “All right,” Jimmy said heavily. “Can you give me a day to figure something out? It might be easier to do once I’m back at the house.” “I already have a plan,” Mattie told him. “We just need some help from Buck, Kid and Lou.” Chapter Sixty Seven Kid poked his head out the back door. “Lou and Jane are gone,” he whispered loudly. Jimmy clasped Mattie’s hand and they hurried to the door. Earlier in the day, Jimmy had found Kid, and told him Mattie’s plan. Lou was supposed to distract Jane. Mattie could not bear to think of something to distract Jane. So Lou had thought up the idea of asking Jane about the garden and the readiness of some of the vegetables to get her away from the house. Buck was supposed to keep Teaspoon busy. A few moments earlier they had seen Buck leave the house with Teaspoon. Kid closed the door behind them and Mattie gave him a quick smile. Sometime after Buck’s return, she had learned the Buck had filled in Kid and Lou about what she and Jimmy suspected was going on with Jane. “Buck had asked Teaspoon to the barn to check on a horse,” he told them. “I hope he can keep him busy,” Jimmy muttered, hurrying past his friend. Jimmy followed Mattie up the stairs. “Make it quick. We don’t have much time. Lou and Buck can’t keep Jane and Teaspoon busy forever,” he told her. “I’ll stand by the front door and Kid will look out the back. If we see Teaspoon or Jane coming back we’ll whistle. Then you get out of that room and head out whatever door we tell you.” Mattie nodded. “Thanks,” she smiled. Jimmy gave her a look that was a mix of irritation and affection. Mattie opened the door to Violet’s room. “Mattie?” Violet said, staring at her friend, dumbfounded by her sudden appearance. “In person,” Mattie grinned as she closed the door. She hurried to the bed and sat on it beside Violet. “Oh, Mattie,” Violet said tearfully, embracing her in a tight hug. “I had hoped we understood the telegrams correctly.” Once Violet released her, Mattie squeezed her arm. “I don’t know how anyone understood those crazy telegrams,” she said with a shake of her head. “Are you okay?” Violet asked, the amazement she still felt at the sight of Mattie in front her of her, still written on her face. “Yeah,” Mattie replied slowly, “I am.” “You really think it was Jane trying to poison you?” Mattie shrugged. “I don’t know for sure but I think so. I was the only one eating that stupid azu.” “Jimmy ate the azu? On the train?” “No, he ate something else. I was sleeping and when I woke up, there he was on the floor.” Mattie closed her eyes, the scene flashing in front of her. “He was acting just like I felt. I thought he caught something from me but a doctor said he probably ate something that did that to him. Jimmy ate some of the food Jane sent,” she finished somberly. “I think everything in that basket she sent had something in it. She wanted to finish me off.” “And she didn’t care who she finished off with you?” Violet exclaimed. “Apparently not.” “And both of you have been fine since you stopped eating her food?” Violet asked. Mattie nodded. “That’s why you wanted me to eat Buck’s cooking.” Mattie grinned. “It didn’t have to be only Buck’s cooking. Just not Jane’s.” “I don’t know if she wants me dead. I think they can prove I’m not Amos’ heir. And the note you wrote willing everything to me probably wouldn’t hold up in a legal fight.” “Maybe, maybe not,” Mattie said. “No sense in taking chances. You have enough to worry about.” Violet arched a brow at her. “I’m not the only one,” she muttered under her breath. “How are you?” Mattie asked. “I was so worried when I heard about your scare.” “Okay, I guess. I have to stay here until it’s time.” Violet glanced out the window. “I guess I know how you felt. I’m so sorry I abandoned you.” “It’s okay. We hashed that out already. Now let’s worry about you. No more pains since you have been in bed?” “I still have them.” Mattie frowned. “The doctor said it’s normal,” Violet added. Mattie flopped down beside her. “Thank heavens.” “Where are you staying?” Violet asked. “In some cabin a few miles away.” “It’s safe?” “Safe as I’ll be. ‘Sides Jimmy will be there.” “Jimmy, huh?” Violet asked teasingly. “You and Buck any closer?” Mattie asked abruptly, her face reddening. “I’m not in the position to be thinking of romances,” Violet informed her. “But you are, aren’t you?” “You first,” Violet said. “I have a feeling yours is more interesting.” She looked at Mattie’s still flushed cheeks. “You’ve slept with him, haven’t you?” “Yeah,” Mattie said softly. “And?” Violet asked expectantly. “I need details.” When Mattie blushed even more furiously, she added, “You know all about Gerald.” “I know,” Mattie sighed. “You don’t want to tell me?” “I do,” Mattie replied. “I just don’t want to hear you were right.” Violet laughed. “We were in some dinky town, the train broke down and there was some town shindig. I was feeling pretty good that day. We talked a bit; I guess you could say we made up.” She met Violet’s eyes. “I thought I was dying and I didn’t want to, there was so much I had not done.” “And jumping Jimmy was one of them,” Violet grinned. “You had it bad for him since day one.” “So what if I did,” Mattie retorted. “Anyway, we checked into a hotel room and it wasn’t going well so Jimmy went out for some wine.” Violet nodded, still listening. “A conductor came back and told me there was something wrong with the train and we’d have to stay overnight. I went with him to identify our bags.” Her eyes welled up. “He left a note saying that some stupid kid who had tried to call Jimmy out earlier had me, and he would hurt me if Jimmy didn’t come out to face him.” “Oh, Mattie, how awful.” Mattie dashed the tears from her eyes. “It was crazy. A bunch of people gathered around to watch Jimmy and that kid try to kill one another. People were shouting, even lawmen were there, all of them looking for some kind of show. ” “And no one tried to stop it?” Mattie shook her head. “Not a soul. I got there at the end. I saw Jimmy shoot that boy.” “I’m so sorry.” “I was too.” Mattie threw an arm over her face. “So was Jimmy. He didn’t trust himself to wing the kid. He just isn’t as confident using his left hand.” She paused before adding, “He said one of the reasons he did it was me.” Violet looked at her quizzically. “He didn’t want to leave me.” “Oh, Mattie.” Violet sighed. “How could something so good come from something so awful?” Somehow Jimmy had known what Mattie most needed to hear. She was certain that those words must have assured Mattie that Jimmy’s feelings were real. “Seems like most of life is like that.” Mattie lowered her arm. “He says he loves me.” “I’m glad,” Violet told her quietly. “But be careful,” she cautioned. “If you don’t watch yourself, you’ll end up in my position.” Mattie met her eyes. “If you had told me that before the fire, before I thought I was dying, before I saw Jimmy out there with some kid wanting to kill him, I would have been terrified.” “And now you’re not.” It was not a question, it was a statement. “Worse things could happen,” Mattie said heavily. “I have decided I will worry about today and today only.” “What does that mean?” Violet exclaimed. “I used to think tomorrow was a given, that there would always be a tomorrow.” Mattie shook her head. “I know now that isn’t true. We are lucky to have tomorrow. All of us,” she added pointedly. “I don’t have a choice but to think about tomorrow. I have a responsibility to this baby,” Violet said. “Maybe you are stuck in yesterday,” Mattie smiled. “Have you told Buck you care about him?” she asked abruptly. Before Violet could answer, they both heard a whistle. Jimmy flung the door open. “You need to get out of here,” he told Mattie. “Sorry, Violet.” Mattie leapt off the bed, hurrying to the door. “Too late,” Kid said, his breath coming quickly. “Teaspoon is coming up the front and Jane is in the kitchen. Lou is going to fake a cramp or something to stall for time.” “I can’t use either door?” Mattie exclaimed. “How am I supposed to get out?” Violet let out a loud cry. Her eyes grew as wide as saucers. “I’m sorry to be piling things on at the moment, but I think my water just broke.” Jimmy and Kid stared at each other and at the same time said, “Window.” “I’ll shinny down first,” Jimmy said. He looked at Violet anxiously. “It won’t be bad for you or the baby if we hold off calling for help for a couple of minutes, will it?” Violet shook her head, her face pinched with pain. “I don’t want to go,” Mattie cried her eyes fixed on Violet. “You don’t have a choice.” Jimmy gave her small shove toward the window and then quickly jerked it open. “Buck,” he hissed, his head out the window. Mattie stood beside him and saw Buck on the ground, looking up. “You need to help get Mattie out of here,” Jimmy called out softly. Buck nodded, moving closer to the house. “Out you go,” Jimmy told Mattie. “I can’t,” she protested. “You have too.” Jimmy gently pushed her again and Mattie scowled as she slid out the window. Kid quickly came to stand beside Jimmy. He held one of Mattie’s wrists tightly as Jimmy held the other. Mattie climbed down as far as she could, feeling the wall with her foot for a toehold with Jimmy and Kid still holding her arms. She felt nothing. A surge of fear ran through her as she grew more and more certain that she would either fall to the ground or be caught by Teaspoon or Jane. “Just let go,” Buck called up. “I got her.” Mattie twisted her head around but she could not spot Buck. Before she could say anything in protest of this foolishness, she felt Jimmy and Kid release her. For a brief moment she was weightless, her body falling while she clawed uselessly at the air and then she was in Buck’s arms. She looked up at the window. While Mattie stared upward, Jimmy stuck his head out and grabbed the board above the window, ready to climb down. “Wait,” Mattie heard Kid say and Jimmy turned back to look inside. After a seemingly endless minute, Jimmy moved back inside the house and Mattie heard him speak, “Yeah, I’m back.” Mattie’s eyes grew wide and Buck tugged on her arm. “We need to go,” he told her firmly. But all Mattie could do was stare at the open window, and soon Jimmy appeared once more. “Go,” he mouthed the word. “I’ll be at the cabin soon as I can,” he added a bit louder. With that Mattie and Buck took off running. Chapter Sixty Eight Buck followed Mattie until they reached a small cabin in the middle of the woods. “This is it?” he panted. They had run all the way here. Mattie nodded, her breath coming quickly. She pushed the door open and went inside while Buck followed. Mattie sat down on a bed in the corner and hugged her knees to her chest while Buck took a seat at the table. “We are the ones who should be with Violet,” she said sadly. “You can go. I’m fine here,” she added. “You are not fine, being here alone,” Buck told her without hesitation. “No one knows I’m alive,” Mattie reminded him. “And we want to keep it that way,” Buck said with a small smile. “I cannot leave. I don’t know who would be angrier with me if I left you here, Violet or Jimmy.” “Violet has got to be terrified. She needs one of us there. I can’t go. But you can.” “I will,” Buck assured her. “As soon as someone else gets here.” He followed Mattie’s eyes as she scanned the dusty room. She rose to her feet. “Then we might as well get something accomplished.” She rummaged around in a corner and found a rag. “There’s got to be a bucket or something outside.” “We are cleaning?” Buck asked glumly. “If we are stuck here, we might as make this place a bit more livable.” Chapter Sixty Nine “When did you get back?” Teaspoon asked Jimmy as he anxiously paced the kitchen floor. “Just now,” Jimmy replied, sitting at the kitchen table, drinking the coffee he had just made. He motioned to the pot but Teaspoon just shook his head. He was too worried about Violet, who was upstairs with Lou and Jane, to do ordinary things, like drink coffee. Jimmy wished he knew a way to get Jane out of there but he did not know how. He reminded himself that Lou was up there with Violet. She wouldn’t let anyone harm Violet, not without a fight. Teaspoon stopped his pacing and looked at Jimmy. “I’m sorry, son. I know Mattie was special to you.” Jimmy gave Teaspoon what he hoped was a sad smile. “Thanks.” “You okay?” Jimmy shrugged. He hated lying to Teaspoon but he did not know if Teaspoon would believe him about Jane. From what he had gathered, Teaspoon had fallen hard for Jane. “Anything happen since I’ve been gone?” Jimmy asked, hoping he looked like he was trying to avoid a painful subject. Not a man who was trying to avoid lying to the man who had been like a father to him. Teaspoon shook his head. “No. We’ve all been waiting for word from the lawyer.” “Nothing?” “Not a word.” Teaspoon turned as he heard a cry from upstairs. “Go on,” Jimmy told him as he rose to his feet. “I think I’ll take Max for a walk.” The dog was curled up by his feet. “When you’re ready, I’ll be glad to listen,” Teaspoon told him quietly. “Thanks. But you ain’t got to worry about me. You have enough on your plate.” Teaspoon gave him a rueful smile. “My girls have been keeping me busy.” “Go on, go check on Violet. I’ll be fine.” “I mean it, son. I am here for you whenever you are ready.” Jimmy swallowed hard; Teaspoon was making this very difficult. “I know,” he said somberly. Teaspoon moved toward the door, obviously heading Jimmy’s words. “Where’s Buck? I was figuring that he’d be pacing right beside me.” “If I see him, I’ll tell him what is going on,” Jimmy assured him. Teaspoon nodded before leaving. Once he was gone, Jimmy said, “Come on,” and Max followed him out the door. Chapter Seventy Mattie flinched as she rubbed her lower back. They had not been working very long but her back was bothering her. “What’s wrong?” Buck asked quickly. He pushed a chair toward her and inclined his head. He obviously wanted her to take a seat. Mattie waved her hand at the chair. “Nothing. Don’t be trying to avoid cleaning,” she teased. “Did you hurt your back?” Mattie shrugged. She was scared that she had hurt herself, that she had torn some of the newly formed skin on her back. There was one area that was just not healing as quickly as the other areas. And that was the spot that was bothering her. “I should probably take a look at it,” Buck told her awkwardly. “We don’t want it become infected.” Mattie shook her head. “I know this is uncomfortable, but we do not know how long Jimmy will be gone.” He gave her a shy smile. “I promise to be a perfect gentleman.” Mattie gave him a perfunctory smile which quickly vanished. “I’m not worried about that,” she told him quietly. She met his eyes. “It’s a pretty gruesome sight.” Buck regarded her carefully. “And that is what you are worried about? I’m made of sterner stuff than that,” he assured her. “I won’t be scared off.” Mattie gave him a weak, but genuine, smile this time. “But I do not think that is your only concern,” he added, looking at her expectantly. Mattie shook her head. “It’s nothing.” “You’ve always been my friend,” Buck told her quietly. “I hope that we can be honest with each other.” “You mean that I’ll be honest with myself,” Mattie snapped. She took a deep breath. Buck was right and getting angry at him would not help matters. “I don’t want to find out my back is worse,” she admitted reluctantly. “Mattie,” Buck said patiently, “you just fell out a window. Your skin is so delicate right now; we cannot afford to let it fester. You and Jimmy have gone to great lengths to fake your death. If we can tend to it now, we may catch it early enough so that medical attention is not needed.” Mattie frowned. That was all they needed, dragging the doctor into this mess. He would not go along with their lies. “Fine,” she grumbled. “Can you step outside and I’ll change?” Buck nodded. He stepped outside, closing the cabin door behind him. Mattie went to her bag and removed her nightgown and the smelly salve Teaspoon had given her. She proceeded to undress and then put her nightgown on backwards so it opened in the back. Then she crawled into the bed. The only thing she could be glad for right now was that they had found some unused linen in a dresser drawer and had changed the sheets. The rest of the cabin was still a huge mess. Mattie sighed, awaiting Buck’s knock, trying her best to ignore the mess that surrounded her. She had bigger things to worry about than a messy cabin. Drop me a note and let me know what you thought!