Chapter Twenty One Mattie came upon Violet who was humming to herself as she walked toward the house. "Did you do it?" she asked quickly. Max, who was on her heels, yipped impatiently. He wanted to play fetch. Absently Mattie picked up a stick and threw it. The dog bounded away. "Do what?" Violet asked sweetly. Mattie scowled at her. "Yes, I did," Violet replied, in a tired voice. "And?" Mattie asked expectantly. "And nothing." "Nothing!" Violet shrugged. "Did you put on a good show?" "I certainly did. I even kissed him first." "And?" Mattie demanded once more. "He kissed me," Violet said casually "Aha!" Mattie said triumphantly. Max yipped at her again. Surprised to see him back so quickly she threw the stick once more. "Aha nothing," Violet said calmly. "After he kissed me, he told me to tell you that you were right about him, that he was nothing but a low life." "So?" Mattie shrugged. "I am right. He went straight from kissing me to kissing you." "Oh come on," Violet exclaimed. "Even you can't really believe that. He told me to tell you. He kissed me because he was mad at you. It wasn't about me at all." "What does that mean?" Mattie snapped. "Even me?" Violet sighed. "You always pick the ones who you think won't like you, and the ones who like you, you manage to keep at arms length until they finally give up and go away. This time it's different. From the first time you saw him, you had a hankering for him. And now you got him interested. Most people would be happy about that. You," she announced, "are terrified because of it." "Who asked you?" Mattie asked irritably. She already knew what Violet was saying. She had come to this same realization during her sleepless night. The first time she saw Jimmy her stomach had dropped down to her feet. She could not even speak to him initially. Then when she saw he was interested in Violet it became easier to talk to him. She had nothing to lose then. And now she was here, still infatuated and still wishing she was not. "Just make sure he knows he has to wait until you are really ready." "I can't believe what I'm hearing," Mattie muttered. "What?" Violet asked. Mattie stared at her and Violet flushed but did not respond to her friend's hard look. "I'm not going to make sure of anything," Mattie said finally. "Its over." Before it even began, she thought unable from feeling sad at the thought. "Besides it doesn't matter," she continued, hating the way her voice broke. "He hates me." He had good cause, but Mattie still could not bring herself to be happy about all this. "I doubt it," Violet smiled. "You might have bruised his ego, but I'm thinking that's it." Mattie looked at her. "Talk to him," Violet said encouragingly. "And say what? I want to jump him?" Violet laughed. "Sure, why not?" "I can't do that!" Mattie was aghast. "Only because you think he is going to leave you," Violet told her. "And what if he does?" "Then he does," Violet replied. "Give him a chance at least. You know you want to," she smiled. "Fine," Mattie grumbled. Her eyes lit up as she continued, "Only if you talk to Teaspoon." "Mattie," Violet sighed. "Tell him straight out you want to be included in all the crazy schemes; then if he cuts you out again, you can be mad." "Okay I will," Violet said with a smile. Clearly realizing that Mattie thought that this was a sure fire way of avoiding ever having to speak to Jimmy, "But only after you talk to Jimmy." Mattie laughed. "You brat." Violet tossed her head. "I'm no brat. I just know you." "Fine," Mattie muttered, "let's head back. I might as well get this over with." She cupped her hands, "Max, come on, boy." Suddenly a gunshot rang out. "What was that?" Mattie instinctively began to run, but she turned back when another shot rang out. "Violet," she shouted, running to her friend's side. "Oh, Violet." Violet was cradling her left arm against her as she sank to the ground, her face alarmingly pale. Mattie tried to pull her up. "Just go," Violet protested feebly. "It hurts too much; I can't make it back to the house. Not fast enough anyway." "There's another little house," Mattie told her. "I found it the other day when I was out with Max. Come on, it's not that far away." "But," Violet began. "Let's go!" Mattie shouted, knowing she was going to have to goad Violet into acting. Her friend appeared to be going into shock. "Do you want to give him an easy target?" Violet shook her head and rose to her feet unsteadily. Mattie grasped her under her right arm to steady her, and together both women walked as quickly as they could. Mattie tried to zigzag their movements as best she could, and she tried to stay as close to trees and shrubs as possible. Violet cried out when another shot rang out. "Did he hit you?" Mattie asked, fighting back her own tears of terror. "No," Violet gasped. "I was just surprised." "We are almost there," Mattie assured her. She hurried Violet as best she could. In a few minutes they were in front a neat little house. Mattie turned the knob and much to her relief the door opened. As they stepped inside, Mattie helped Violet to a chair covered in a plain white sheet. Mattie yanked the sheet off the chair. "Sit," she commanded her friend as she tore the sheet into strips. After wrapping Violet's wound tightly she said, "I'm going 'round back to see if I can see anything." She pointed to the front window. "You keep watch here. Yell if you see anything." Violet nodded. As Mattie headed toward the back, she stopped dead in her tracks with she heard a loud crash. Someone had just thrown something through the window. Mattie began hurrying back to Violet's side when a whoosh of fire exploded in front of her, knocking her backward. Chapter Twenty Two "Your dog is acting funny," Buck told Jimmy as he saw his friend exit the barn, leading his horse by the reins. Jimmy bent down and reached for the pup. But Max jumped back, yipping frantically at him. "What is it?" "You talk to the dog?" Buck grinned. Jimmy ignored him. "Something is wrong," he announced as he straightened up. "The dog told you," Buck said with a laugh. "Look at him." Jimmy pointed to Max. He took a few steps and Max began running. When Jimmy stopped, Max turned around and yipped. "See." Buck frowned. He did not spend much time with the dog, but even he could see that this was not his typical behavior. "Let's see where he wants us to go," Jimmy said. He flung his horse's reins around a length of fence and began hurrying after the dog, Buck was right behind him. Every time the two men slowed down, Max ran back to them and began barking frantically. This continued until they reached a little house. Buck recognized it as the caretaker's house. Before Amos Farthington become ill, Jane, his housekeeper/cook, used to live here. When the elderly man could not care for himself, Jane moved into the main house. He and Teaspoon had discovered the place and made inquiries about it when they had first arrived. Buck stared at the house. Flames were coming out the front window. It could not be some kind of brush fire gone wild, nothing around the house was even smoldering, plus it had been raining regularly. The fire had been set deliberately. He turned to speak to Jimmy when he heard a scream. "They are in there," Jimmy declared. Buck nodded. He had come to the same conclusion, even before the scream. He cursed himself for not keeping a closer watch on Violet. He had been lulled into complacency by the serenity of the past few days. "Wait," he began but it was too little too late, Jimmy was at the door. He kicked the door open and lifted his arm so that his mouth was covered. Buck ran to the door but before he could enter, Jimmy was back out, someone in his arms. Buck grabbed the still body. "Violet," he gasped. He picked her up and hurried to a tree a few feet away from the house, Jimmy right behind him. Jimmy coughed as Buck checked her pulse. "She's alive," Buck exhaled in relief. "Good," Jimmy said tersely. "I'm going back in." "Jimmy!" "Mattie's got to be in there," Jimmy told Buck before disappearing inside. Buck rubbed Violet's cheek gently. He thought about going in after Jimmy, but if someone was after Violet he could not simply abandon her. "Violet," he crooned, but she was out cold. He did not think she had been burnt, but then he saw blood seeping from her left arm. Carefully he unwound the wrap and frowned. The wound on Violet's arm looked like a bullet wound. Blood was ebbing steadily from the injury. "Buck!" Buck wrapped her arm tightly and then turned his head. He saw Kid racing toward him. "I saw the smoke," he said upon reaching his side. "Violet was in there." "Is she okay?" Kid asked. "I don't know, but I think she has been shot," Buck replied quickly. "Jimmy is in that house." Before Kid could utter a single word, he added, "He thinks Mattie is inside." Kid looked around frantically, obviously looking for water. Upon finding none he began moving to the house. "Kid, wait," Buck called out. When Kid returned to his side he said, "Here." Buck handed Kid a handkerchief from his pocket. "Cover your mouth when you go in." Struck by a sudden idea he added, "Take some dirt in if you can't find any water." Kid nodded and looked at the front door. The flames were now coming out the door. He changed direction and ran toward the back. Buck scooped Violet up and began hurrying toward the main house. He could not do anything more than Kid and Jimmy were. He could however get Violet some help. Her arm was bleeding badly. *~*~* As Kid ran to the back of the house, he found a bucket by a well. Quickly he lowered the bucket down and pulled up some water. He soaked his neckerchief in it and then the one Buck handed him. Wrapping his own neckerchief around his mouth and holding the bucket steady he hurried into the burning house. *~*~* "Mattie!" Jimmy shouted. No response. Coughing violently he continued deeper into the house until he could go no further. There was a raging fire in front of him. Fear began to fill him. Where was she? He was certain he had not missed her when he had first entered the house. Suddenly he ran back out the front door and raced to the back. There had to be another way to get inside. Running up the back steps, he entered through a door. "Mattie," he managed, coughing violently as the smoke reached out and hit him in the face. He felt someone touch him on the shoulder. He was shocked to see Kid there. The Kid handed him a damp cloth and made a motion. Jimmy understood that his friend wanted him to wrap the neckerchief around his mouth. and he did just that. Kid motioned once more and went somewhere. Jimmy figured he was going to look elsewhere. He hoped Kid did not waste his time by going toward the front. He did not know how to tell him that he would not get far, but he figured Kid would realize it soon enough. A loud crack sounded, and Jimmy jumped back as a supporting beam came crashing down in front of him. The beam was ablaze and the fire was spreading up the wooden support quickly. They had to find Mattie soon otherwise it would be too late. First the beam and then the ceiling, he thought, the house was going to come down around their ears soon. As Jimmy took a step to his left he saw something. It was a boot. Hurrying toward the foot, Jimmy stumbled over another beam. Jesus, the house was coming apart far sooner than he had anticipated. As he made his way over the beam he wondered if the beam was on top of Mattie. He began crawling on his hands and knees as the smoke was getting too thick. He could no longer see clearly standing upright, nor was the air too good up there. Once he reached the prone body, he saw Mattie's face. It was covered in soot and ashes, and her eyes were closed, but he knew it was her. Jimmy reached under the beam and tried to lift it when a spark landed on his shirt sleeve. Before he could make any attempt to squelch the fire with his other hand, a burning ember landed a few inches below that spot. The ceiling was coming down on them right now, he realized with a flicker of fear. He raised his head and only then did he understand how intense the fire was. Flames were travelling all along the ceiling. The little time he thought he had was now halved. He had no time. They had to get out now! The thought of being trapped in this house occupied so much of his thoughts that he did not even realize how badly his arm was hurting him until it stopped. It stopped when suddenly Kid reappeared and threw a bucket of water at him. The water splashed all over him, quenching the pain in his arm and soaking both him and the beam. Jimmy motioned to the Kid and somehow his friend understood. He went to stand at one end of the beam, and Jimmy got up and gingerly moved to the opposite end, ignoring the stabbing sensation in his right forearm. Together the two men lifted the beam up and moved it off the body. When Jimmy reached for Mattie, ready to pick her up and get her out of this place, Kid stopped him. "Her back," was all Jimmy could make out. He followed Kid's hand motions once more. When Kid went to stand by Mattie's feet, he understood, he was to move to her head and he did just that. He then slipped his arms under her shoulders and Kid grabbed her by the legs. Together they lifted her up and got her out of the burning house. As they stumbled away from the building, Jimmy was ready to put her down. "Don't," Kid advised him. "Her back," he coughed, "it … it's pretty bad off." Jimmy frowned. "What happened to your arm?" Kid asked. As he spoke, he gently grasped Mattie about the hips and flung her face first over his shoulder. It was then Jimmy got a good look at her. The back of her dress had been burned right off her; in fact much of her clothing had been reduced to tatters. Jimmy could see the metal wires of her corset poking out amongst the remains of her dress. He then looked down and saw that his arm was badly burned. He knew it was bad because it was bright red. "There's a well round back," Kid continued, "soak your arm before heading back to the house." With that he began hurrying away. Jimmy opened and closed his fist. His hand felt stiff, but it should be okay. He would just soak his arm then wrap it with his shirt then head back. Even though he wanted to be there to make sure Mattie was all right, he knew that Buck had already gotten back to the house and alerted everyone. A doctor was sure to be at the house and he would have to tend to Mattie before Jimmy could so much as even look at her. Much as it annoyed him, he would listen to the Kid. Chapter Twenty Three Buck sat, his legs sprawled in front of him, utterly exhausted. Jimmy was with Lou who was tending to his arm until the doctor finished with Mattie. Next in line would be Violet. The doctor would be checking Teaspoon's handiwork. "Hand me a wrap," Teaspoon commanded him. Buck reached over and gave Teaspoon a long thin white cloth. He watched from the chair in Violet's room. Teaspoon had just removed the bullet from Violet's arm and was now dressing her wound. Mattie's injuries were so severe that the doctor could not look at anyone else thus Teaspoon had offered to take care of his niece. "Hand her some of that whiskey," Teaspoon said, and Buck did just that. "Drink up," Teaspoon told Violet. "I can't." Violet shook her head. "I know your stomach is upset but the whiskey will help numb the pain and settle your nerves," Teaspoon said calmly. "We need to figure out what is going on." "I told you already!" Violet cried. "I don't know what happened." "It's okay," Teaspoon began. "Let me try," Buck interrupted. Teaspoon gave him a tired look. "Go ahead, son. I'll go look in on Jimmy and Mattie." Once Teaspoon left, Buck moved next to the bed and crouched down beside it. "Does your arm hurt a lot?" he asked softly. "Yes." "I know you don't want to talk about this," Buck said gently, "but any information you have can only help us." Violet laughed a bit hysterically. "Well, I did insist on being included now didn't I?" Buck took her hand in his. "You are safe now." "I'm alive, that isn't safe." She squeezed his hand tightly. "And my best friend might be dead," she managed. "She isn't dead," Buck murmured, holding her hand tighter. Violet raised her eyes. "Well, at least one thing is settled. My uncle was right; I should not be involved in your schemes. This is what happens when I don't listen, this." Tears sprang into her eyes. "You didn't do anything wrong," Buck assured her. "You went for a walk -" "I stormed off in a snit because I was left out of the grand scheme!" Buck gave her a rueful smile. "Is that what happened?" "Of course it was." "You were angry at first but were you trying to leave the property, show Teaspoon you didn't need him watching over you?" "No - o," Violet whispered. "I went to the barn, made a fool of myself with Jimmy, and then saw Mattie." "You made a fool of yourself with Jimmy?" Buck repeated, a sinking sensation inside him. "Who cares about that?" she snapped. She struggled to sit up right. "I need to go see Mattie." Buck nodded. "I'll help you." He waited until Violet slid to the edge of the bed, and then he tucked her arm firmly under his. His eyes grew wide then. "Violet," he began. "Yes, I'm expecting. That is my awful secret. You know now, you don't need to pry anymore," she told him coldly, pushing him away from her as she stood on her own two feet. "Violet," Buck began once more, his mind in a whirl. "Has the doctor checked you to make sure you and the baby are okay?" Violet stared at him. "What?" "Has anyone checked -" "I heard you!" "Well have they?" Buck asked once more. Violet had been shot and in a burning house. That was not healthy for anyone and especially not for an expectant mother. "No," Violet exclaimed, continuing to stare at him dumbfounded. "I can't believe you are asking me this." "What did you expect me to ask?" Buck asked puzzled. "I don't know, are you married, where's your husband, who's the father?" "None of that matters if you and the baby are hurt." "You're serious, aren't you?" Violet asked, sitting back down on the bed. She took his hand and put it on her belly. "Feel it?" Buck's eyes grew wide at her bold action, but he could not help but smile. Underneath his hand was a strong steady movement. "She is kicking." "You think you are having a girl?" Violet averted her eyes. "I think so." "I still think you should have a doctor check you out." "Maybe later." She met his eyes. "Can you please keep this bit of news to yourself?" "Teaspoon does not know?" Buck has seen Teaspoon tending to Violet's arm just minutes ago. Violet shook her head. "I got undressed and wrapped myself in a blanket before he got here." She shrugged. "I guess he was too busy checking my arm to check anything else." Buck nodded. "I will not say anything." "Thank you." "But I think you should," Buck added. Violet scowled. "You cannot hide it forever," he continued mater-a-factly. Buck was certain she could not hide it much longer. If he had not have been so blind to the idea of her even being pregnant; he would have seen it. It was just that such a thought had never occurred to him. "When the time is right," she said grudgingly. "Right now I want to see Mattie." Buck nodded and held out his hand as Violet grasped it firmly. She grabbed her dressing gown and put it on before they left. And just like that Buck could no longer see the bulge in her belly. His mind whirled with questions, but he bit them all back. Violet had made it abundantly clear that there would be no answers forthcoming. Slowly they moved down the hall until they saw Jane coming out of Mattie's bedroom. Violet let out a small gasp and Buck stared at what Jane was carrying. On top of the dirty and tattered clothes Mattie had been wearing was Mattie's long dark braid. "Jane," Violet said, catching the older woman by the arm. "What happened?" Jane shook her head, blinking back the tears. "I'm sorry, Miss." "Sorry!" Violet half shouted. "Is she dead?" "No, no," Jane replied quickly. "It's just," she paused, composing herself. "Your friend is in a lot of pain. The doctor just gave her something to try to make her sleep. He wants to get a look at her back, and it was just such a mess." Jane shook her head and sighed deeply. "The doctor could not see clearly so he removed her dress and then he cut off her hair." Jane looked at the braid sadly. "Such pretty hair, but it was burned badly, no point in saving it." Violet's eyes began to fill with tears. "How is she?" "Well, the doctor is looking at her now," Jane began. "She is bad off isn't she?" Violet said, and Buck heard the beginnings of hysteria in her voice. "I don't know, Miss," Jane replied. "And it's all my fault," Violet cried. She turned and began to run. "Violet, wait," Buck called out. Then he stopped. Maybe he should find out how Mattie really was before looking for Violet. There was no point in discussing hypotheticals. Violet needed the truth. "Where's Violet?" Jimmy asked quickly, hurrying to Buck's side. "She ran off, I think she is up -" Buck began, but Jimmy cut him off. "She needs to get in there. Mattie is scared to death. The doctor can't settle her down," Jimmy said, the words still coming rapidly. "She's gone, Jimmy. The fire, being shot and Mattie being hurt has her in a panic." Jimmy gave Buck a look of disgust. "She needs to be there for Mattie." "She can't be," Buck replied heavily. "I'll see if I can find her, calm her down some, but until then you should go in." "Me!" Jimmy exclaimed. "I told you, Mattie hates me." "Jimmy," Buck said patiently, "she doesn't. If Violet goes in, all scared, it could make things worse. You go in, stay calm, get Mattie to calm down." "But -" Jimmy began. This time Buck interrupted the conversation. "Trust me. Mattie does not hate you. I'd go so far as to say she has feelings for you and if you care about her, show her. It will help." Much more than Violet's hysteria, he thought to himself. Jimmy stared at Buck for a moment and then nodded. Buck watched as Jimmy walked down the hall and into Mattie's room. He moved close to the door and continued to look at him. Jimmy had threaded his way through the throng of people around the bed and went to the side of it. Mattie was lying face down, thrashing wildly. Jimmy knelt down next to Mattie's head and put both arms around her head. Buck saw that one of Jimmy's arms was badly burned as the wrap Lou had put on his slipped off. "Mr. Hickok," the doctor began. "Shh," Buck heard Jimmy murmur, completely ignoring the doctor and other people in the room. But the noise level dropped enough so he could hear when Jimmy spoke. "You'll be okay," he continued. Mattie made some unintelligible sounds and once again Jimmy spoke to her in soothing tones. "You're safe now. We got you out of that house. The doctor needs to tend to you, so try to lie still." Buck heard Mattie once more. "I know you are scared," Jimmy told her, touching his head against hers. "I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise." Buck saw Mattie's movements begin to slow. "Breath real slow and it shouldn't hurt so bad," he said. When Mattie began to cry out once more, he told her, "I'm here. I ain't leaving." Buck waited until the doctor approached Mattie and began studying her injuries. Then he left. He did not want to see Mattie suffer any more. He only hoped he could be of some help to her by finding Violet. He did not want Violet to suffer alone either. Chapter Twenty Four Mattie cried out once more, and Jimmy winced to hear it. Once the doctor was able to examine Mattie he had began issuing orders. Everyone had been cleared from the room save the doctor and Jimmy. Mattie had been undressed, and the doctor was now working on her burns. Jane kept leaving and re-appearing; taking away whatever the doctor wanted to be rid of and bringing back other needed materials. Jimmy had not realized how bad her back was until just a few moments ago. Her skin from her shoulders to the middle of her back was a mottled red, and he could see blisters beginning to form. He reached out from the chair the doctor had placed him in to take her hand in his. "Hang on," he told her softly. Whatever the doctor had given her was not strong enough. She kept going in and out of consciousness. As Mattie gripped his hand tightly, he heard her whimper. "Jane," the doctor said, when the older woman re-appeared after throwing away Mattie's hair and clothing, "could you please finish up here." As the doctor moved to Jimmy's side and Jane took his place, using some tool to remove the worst of Mattie's badly burned skin, he looked at Jimmy's stern face and said, "Jane has helped me for years." Jimmy nodded, feeling a bit more reassured. "I want to look at you," the doctor continued. He grabbed Jimmy's free arm and turned it this way and that. Jimmy had already decided that his arm was fine and had refused to let Lou fuss at him. His skin was red and appeared to be dried out, but he did not feel much pain, even when the doctor prodded him. "So?" he asked expectantly. The doctor frowned. "I need to keep a close watch on your arm." "Doctor Wilbert," Jane called out, "I don't think there is much more I can do." The doctor released Jimmy's arm. "Thank you, Jane. I'll get some salve on it and wrap it." "Will the Donner woman be coming?" Jane asked. Jimmy frowned, who was the Donner woman? "Yes," the doctor replied. Upon spying Jimmy's frown, he added, "She used to be a nurse in Denver. But now she lives here with her daughter." "Her daughter has two sets of twins," Jane explained. "I'll make sure she knows what to do. And she will be looking after you as well," the doctor informed Jimmy. "Thank you," Jane said her voice full of gratitude. "I know this must be hard on you," the doctor told her sadly. Jane averted her eyes and nodded while Jimmy looked on with interest. He sensed that more was being said than just a simple thank you for the job the doctor had performed. When the doctor picked up his bag, Jane moved to follow him. "Jane," Jimmy said quickly, longing to ask her a few questions. "I'll see myself out, Jane," the doctor told her quickly. Once the doctor had gone, Jimmy asked, "Why did he say this was hard on you?" "It's hard seeing someone so young so close," Jane stopped, "in so much pain," she finished and Jimmy knew she meant so close to death. Jimmy nodded; clearly dissatisfied with the response he had received. "I lost my children when they were young too," Jane added. "I'm sorry." Jane nodded. "Let me fetch you something to drink and maybe we can coax Mattie in drinking something as well. It will do you both good." Chapter Twenty Five Buck, after searching the entire house, went to the barn. It was there that he found Violet, sitting in a corner, her knees drawn up to her chest and her back pressed against a bale of hay. "Are you all right?" "No!" Violet dashed the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. Buck sat down next to her and much to his surprise; Violet put her head against his shoulder and sobbed. Buck turned, tentatively gathering her in his arms. When Violet clung to his shirt, he pulled her closer. After a long while, Violet stopped crying. "I'm sorry," she told him, sitting straighter. "For what? We are friends; friends lean on one another," Buck replied quietly. Violet nodded. "Friends are also honest with one another," she whispered. "You must have so many questions." "I do," Buck answered. "I'll start with an easy one," he smiled. "Why did you run?" "Because I'm a coward." Violet's eyes began to fill with tears once more. She shook her head. "I couldn't face her. She is hurt so bad, and I'm fine." She shuddered. "I would hardly say your fine, but she is hurt." "I know! And that's my fault." "You did not set the fire." "But she's here because of me. She doesn't have any stake in this, but she insisted on coming. She said someone had to look out for me. I got shot, and she got me safely to that house. She should have just left me," Violet cried. "Look at her. She could die." "Violet," Buck said quietly. "I'm an awful friend." "You are not an awful friend." Buck wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You are still recovering yourself. Give yourself a little time." Violet wiped her eyes once more. "Are you going to ask about the baby?" "Are you going to tell me?" "Can I tell you later?" Buck nodded. Violet seemed to need time to process things before she could discuss them. "Can I ask you what happened out there?" "The fire?" Violet's voice trembled. "Or what happened before? You said Mattie got you to that house. Why did you go there?" Violet frowned as she spoke. "We heard a shot, then another; I guess it was the second one that hit me. Mattie remembered there was a house nearby so we went there. She wrapped my arm once we got inside and then disappeared. Next thing I remember is you carrying me here." "That's good," Buck said encouragingly. "You remembered a great deal. Two shots, the house, all that matters." "Why?" Violet furrowed her brow. "Well," Buck said slowly, "did the person aiming at you miss the first time, or did he want to scare you. From what Jimmy told me, that house went up in flames really fast." Violet's eyes grew wide. "You think the fire was set deliberately?" Her voice was full of shock. "Death by fire is a lot less suspicious than death by gunshot," Buck said, hoping he lessened the impact of his harsh words by his gentle tone. "Maybe the gunshots were to send you right to that house." "So whoever it was could finish us off?" Violet exclaimed. "Violet," Buck began. He had not meant to frighten her anymore than she already was. He had just spoken without thinking, like she was Lou or someone, not a girl experiencing life threatening danger for the first time. "It's okay," Violet told him, her voice becoming calmer. "I appreciate the fact that you told me your suspicions instead of treating me like a china doll." She leaned against him once more. Buck lowered the arm that was still around her shoulders and caught her hand with his, content just to sit with her for as long as she would let him. Chapter Twenty Six Mattie let out a soft cry. She hated whimpering in front of Linda Donner. That woman was the sternest woman she had ever had the misfortune of meeting. Linda Donner came daily and removed whatever skin she could from Mattie's back, then re-dressed her injury. It was possibly the most excruciating pain she had ever experienced. But the doctor had left strict instructions about this. Linda Donner knew how to treat burns. Her bedside manner however left a great deal to be desired. She lay on her stomach and gripped the pillow tightly, burying her face in it. Linda did not offer much sympathy. When Mattie had let out a loud yell two days ago, Linda had told her she should be grateful that she was alive. "Hold on," she heard a voice. When she looked over, it was Jimmy offering her his hand. She reached for him, and he clasped her hand tightly. He came in every day when Linda came. And Mattie was appreciative. Sometimes the pain was so bad she thought she was going to black out. The only good part about all this was the salve Linda put on her when she left. "He doesn't complain," Linda told her in her emotionless way. "He is a $*%^ hero," Mattie said, her jaw clenched tightly. Jimmy laughed. "You really shouldn't be here," Linda told Jimmy. "It's unseemly." Jimmy gaped at her. "I'd hardly call this a romantic interlude," Mattie announced. And I need him here, Mattie thought. Every time Linda came to tend to her injuries, Jimmy came in. And other times as well. She knew Linda worked on him first but it was nice to have him here. At least he had some idea of what Linda's treatments felt like. Mattie frowned. That was not the entire truth. On the days Linda did not come, Jimmy would sit on the floor and still hold her hand. He would tell her some more of his stories. The other day he had opened the window and let a warm summer breeze fill the room along with some bright sunshine. Mattie sighed softly. She knew Linda was done now, she could feel the cold salve on her overly heated skin. She felt better already, knowing her torture for the day was over. "Hmpf," Linda huffed. "I want visitors to a minimum," she told her unnecessarily. Linda said the same thing every time she came. Visitors were not a great problem. Teaspoon, Kid and Lou all visited, but they had things to do thus they did not stay too long. Buck came by as well, but Mattie sensed his thoughts were elsewhere, probably with Violet who had not visited her once. "I'll be back in a few days," Linda told them. "I'll be waiting with baited breath," Mattie muttered. Once she had gone, she asked, "Can you open the window again? It felt so good last time." "It's raining." "Oh," Mattie said in a flat voice. She felt a wave of self pity rise up inside her. She felt Jimmy squeeze her hand tighter. "Are you okay?" She closed her eyes. "Fine." When Jimmy simply sat quietly she added, "I'm frustrated. I'm so sick of being here. I'm so tired of laying here." She stopped. There was nothing he could do about this, why was she ranting to him? "Sorry." "I got a surprise for you," Jimmy told her. "It might cheer you up." Mattie opened her eyes. "Roll over, just a bit and lean on this," he continued. He held Mattie's shoulder and pushed her up as she attempted to roll over. Biting back the pain, she waited as he put a pillow against her, so that she could lean against it. The change in position was heavenly. She was tired of lying on her stomach. "Max!" Mattie felt a smile burst out from her. And when the little dog ran into the room, Jimmy picked him up and placed him on the bed. "Be still," Jimmy told him but the pup moved right against Mattie, pushing the pillow out of the way. Mattie put her arm over him. Much to both Jimmy and her surprise, once the dog was settled against he became very still, only lifting his head up once to lick Mattie's nose. "He's being so good," Mattie said, her sprits rising. Jimmy nodded. "I missed you, Maxie," Mattie cooed. Max's tail thumped the bed. "He missed you too," Jimmy grinned. Mattie caught his eye. "Thank you." Jimmy nodded and took his spot on the floor. "How's your arm?" Mattie asked. "Better, I reckon." "You can't tell?" Mattie exclaimed. Jimmy shrugged. "It never hurt too bad. But it's hard to tell. Linda don't say much of anything about my arm." Mattie fondled Max's ears. "Can I ask you something?" "Sure." "Is something wrong with Violet?" That was the only reason Mattie could fathom for her friend's absence. "She was shot. Is it serious?" "I don't know," Jimmy answered in a flat voice. "About her arm? Or is it something else?" Mattie persisted. "Her arm is fine." "Then why hasn't she come to see me?" "She's been acting mighty strange," Jimmy told her quietly. "Strange? How?" Jimmy shook his head. "You're not going to tell me?" Mattie frowned. "Not my place." "But -" Mattie began. "Hush," Jimmy interrupted. "I don't know why Violet hasn't been in here. I don't know what's wrong with her. She has been avoiding me too." "Oh." "What I do know," Jimmy continued, "is that you need to worry about yourself." "I'm bored with myself." Jimmy smiled. "I hate being stuck in here." "I'll make you a deal," he told her. "Once you can sit up, by yourself," he added quickly when Mattie began to chatter happily, "I'll sneak you out of here for a while." "Thanks," Mattie said quietly. She waited until Jimmy met her eyes. "For everything. Getting me out of that fire, being here when Linda is, keeping me company." "I want to be here," Jimmy said quietly. He stroked her hair and Mattie cringed inwardly. She was such a mess, sometimes she forgot how awful she must look. Her hair was chopped off and cut in a lopsided fashion. She had not had a proper bath in days and her nightgown had a big hole cut in the back that Linda pinned shut once she was done working on her. She told herself that there was no way Jimmy had any romantic feelings for her, not even lust. She was such a dreadful sight to behold. Even though she reminded herself of these facts, Mattie still flushed with pleasure. Violet had been right about her - she was afraid of being abandoned. She had been so afraid of men leaving her that the realization this one had not left had shocked her. He was here when her best friend was not. "Thank you," she replied quietly. She felt her eyes begin to close. Max was so warm and Jimmy playing with that mess she now called hair was comforting. "That feels nice," she murmured. As Jimmy continued stroke her hair, she added, "My mother used to do that." Once again Jimmy was quiet so she continued. "My Pa would get home late most nights. He tended bar at the town saloon, so my Mama would get into bed with me. She would tell me a story and play with my hair." "Was it a good story?" Mattie smiled. "Always the same one. About a Russian princess. But yeah, it was a good one." After a bit, Jimmy stopped smoothing her hair and she felt him begin to tug on Max as if to remove him. "Can you wait?" she asked softly. The movement stopped. "Until I'm asleep?" she added. "It won't be long." Between Max's warm body, Jimmy stroking her hair and whatever medication Linda gave her before working on her, Mattie felt very sleepy. "I'll stay here long as it takes," Jimmy told her quietly once again smoothing her hair. Chapter Twenty Seven "I'm glad to see you out of your room," Teaspoon told Violet as they sat across from each other at lunch. Violet shrugged. "Are you feeling better?" Teaspoon persisted. Violet had barely spoken to anyone since she had been shot. She either spent her days in her room alone or in the garden. If anyone approached her outside she promptly left. "Fine." "The arm healing?" "According to Linda Donner, yes." "How's Mattie?" Teaspoon knew good and well she had not been in to see Mattie but he needed to figure out why. Violet did not respond. "Darlin'," Teaspoon said gently, "you didn't do anything wrong." "This is all my fault," Violet whispered. "No," Teaspoon began, but he did not get a chance to finish. Jane entered the room. "Excuse me," Jane said. "A mister Pierce Davis is here. Teaspoon frowned. He did not know a Pierce Davis. "He says he is an associate of the lawyer who is handling Mr. Farthington's estate," Jane continued. Teaspoon sighed. Just when he thought he was finally getting through to Violet, this has to happen. "Please show him in, Jane." Jane nodded and went to the front. When she reappeared a young man with gray eyes and light brown hair, wearing a charcoal gray suit, was with her. "Good afternoon," the young man said heartily. "Please sit," Jane told the man. "I will get you some lunch." "Thank you," the young man said, taking a seat next to Violet. "I'm Pierce Davis," he continued. "I work with Mr. Farthington's attorney, Steven Millard." "We got a letter from Mr. Millard earlier in the week," Teaspoon said. "I thought he was coming personally." "Oh he is," Pierce said quickly. "Mr. Farthington's account is a big one," he grinned. "Mr. Millard fully intends to give it the respect it deserves." Violet laughed while Teaspoon pulled a face. Cheeky little monkey, he decided, but it was good to see Violet smile again. "I'm kidding," Pierce added. "Mr. Millard is an excellent attorney, and he will be here. The senior partners have him looking into another case at the moment so he sent me ahead to make sure you don't have any questions; and if you do, perhaps I can answer them, and if I can't, I can wire him." "Thank you," Violet told him, "I appreciate it." "So do you have any questions?" Pierce asked. "Not really," Violet replied. "Everything is so abstract at the moment." Pierce nodded. Jane entered the room and put a plate filled with stew in front of Pierce. "Shall I put your bag upstairs?" she asked. "You are staying here?" Teaspoon exclaimed. "Is that a problem?" Pierce asked quickly. "There isn't a hotel in town and…" His voice trailed off. "I am sorry. I am overstepping." "Nonsense," Violet interjected. "You are welcome to stay here. After all where else would you go?" "Thank you," Pierce told her, touching her hand briefly while Teaspoon looked on. I have a bad feeling about this, Teaspoon thought. He did not like the way that young man was ogling Violet. Chapter Twenty Eight It had been two weeks since the fire, Mattie realized as she finished up her lunch. She was eating regularly since yesterday and today she managed to sit up. She was lying on her side at the moment, nibbling on her sandwich, waiting for Jimmy to come in. She wanted to show him. And right on schedule, he appeared, carrying his own sandwich. "Afternoon," he called out. Mattie grinned. "Look," she said, not even bothering on ceremony. She pushed herself up with her left arm and sat upright for a moment before her weak muscles betrayed her and she began to sag downward. But she knew exactly what was going to happen and was prepared. Her left arm was already extended and it helped ease her fall back down to the bed. Jimmy smiled at her. "You show the doctor yet?" "No," Mattie replied. "He hasn't come by today." She glanced out the window. Jane had opened it earlier today. The sun was shining brightly. "So when do we go?" "Go?" Jimmy asked blankly. "Outside." "Outside?" Jimmy exclaimed. Mattie beamed at him. "Don't even try." Jimmy smiled back at her. "Okay, I won't," he told her, grinning. "Just let me make sure the coast is clear." He hurried from the room and in about ten minutes he reappeared carrying a blanket. "Ready?" Mattie nodded then suddenly a surge of apprehension went through her. She was afraid. She was afraid to leave her room, go out there, and be exposed. Whoever set that fire was still out there. Sure, he may not be after her, but she was the one who got hurt. Her other fear concerned getting outside. How would she do this? She was in no way near as good a shape as she pretended to be. Her back pained her every time she moved. The little show she had just put on cost her a great deal. But it appeared as if Jimmy had thought this whole thing out. He placed a blanket over his shoulder and then gently slid his hands underneath her hips as he bent down toward her. "Hang on to my shoulders," he told her, and Mattie did just that, clinging to him for dear life. Jimmy then lifted her up and placed her over the blanket. "I'll go slow but, you tell me if you need to stop." Like hell she would, Mattie thought. She was desperate to get away from this room. Jimmy walked slowly from the room and gingerly down the steps. No one was in the kitchen when they went through the back door. Mattie was eternally grateful that her treatments now including soaking in a tub. She would be mortified to having Jimmy hauling her about in such a manner if she had not bathed. Jimmy carried her out the door, and once they reached the tree in the back he set her down. Mattie pressed her lips together tightly. The grass was itchy and lying on it was not comfortable. She did not want to complain because she did not want to spend yet another day in that bed. But this was torture. Jimmy spoke, realizing this was far from an ideal situation. "Mattie," he began slowly. Knowing he was about to suggest going inside, Mattie said quickly, "I think it could work better if you put the blanket under my head like a pillow." As Jimmy stood quietly, Mattie sneezed. The grass was tickling her nose. "Or maybe you could put the blanket against the tree and I could lean against it," she said desperately. She knew that was not a viable idea. She would topple over being propped like that. But she did not want to be stuck inside. "I got an idea," Jimmy said finally. Mattie felt herself being lifted up and Jimmy placed the blanket on his chest and held her against him. Slowly he sat down and leaned against the tree with Mattie between his knees. Jimmy had been careful to place her right side, the one with the worst burns on it, away from him. Mattie looked at his leg which was raised up to keep her in place as was his other one. She leaned her good side against his chest. His other leg barely touched her back, just enough to provide a bit of support. "This works," she told him, her voice filled with relief. "Not for long," Jimmy said grimly. He put his hand on her head. "Lean against me," he told her, "it should keep you from getting worn out." Gratefully Mattie did just that. "Thanks for getting me out of there. I feel almost human being outside again." Jimmy simply squeezed her shoulder. "Can you tell me one of your stories?" she asked. "I think you've heard all of them." "How 'bout the Hawk's Raiders one?" "Again?" Jimmy exclaimed. "I like that one," Mattie said with a smile as she snuggled against him. She rested her head against his shoulder and enjoyed his arms around her as he spoke. Not only did she like this story, but she liked the way he held her. "That's a good one," she said once he was through. "One day you'll have to tell me the one your ma told you, the one about the Russian princess." "You remember?" Mattie said in surprise. Why would he care about her mother's fairy tale? "Course I do," Jimmy said without hesitation. "Maybe tomorrow," she told him. "I have to try to remember it right. It's been a long time since I heard it last." She paused. "There's something else I wanted to say today." "What?" "I don't know if I ever thanked you for getting me out of that house," Mattie began. "You did." "I'm sorry you got hurt." "I'm even sorrier I didn't watch out for you," Jimmy said, his voice full of anguish. "I should have been there." "You were," Mattie said quietly. "I was too late." "Too late? I didn't die!" Mattie exclaimed. Jimmy let out a soft laugh. "You always do that." "What?" "Downplay your own life. You make it seem like what happened was no big deal." "I know how big it was," Mattie said heavily. "Sorry," Jimmy told her quickly. "It's okay, I know what you meant. I just wanted you to know that I realize how serious my situation was, is," she amended. "I know sneaking out here isn't the smartest thing, but lying there day after day, well what's the point of living like that." "I should have been there for you," he said again. "Jimmy," Mattie said in a warning tone. "I wasn't there because I was so mad at you," he continued. "Because of what happened in your room," Mattie finished for him. "Yeah." "I guess I should have finished what I started," Mattie said brokenly. She felt Jimmy's surprise in the way he held himself stilly. "Now look at me." "Mattie," Jimmy said. "I'm sorry," she cried. "I don't mean to be so full of self pity." "I think you got cause," Jimmy told her somberly. "It's just I had chances before. You were a chance. I got scared and ran off each time, and now I'll never get another chance again." Jimmy lifted her chin and looked at her, his eyes so soft. This was the other thing she was afraid of exposing - her infatuation with him. She had to make sure he realized they would never happen. She knew what kind of man he was, he was loyal. And he liked beautiful women. She had never been beautiful, but she was attractive with her quick smile and big green eyes. The men that had liked her had been attracted to her because of her looks and her wit. Unlike Violet men never liked her without speaking to her and that was fine by her. But now they would never even want to talk to her. She would not let Jimmy attach himself to her because he felt responsible for her condition. She would care for him from afar and hope that her feelings faded quickly. "If you were my girl, if you want to be with me," Jimmy began. "But I'm not," Mattie cut him off. "And I won't be." She dropped her head. "You aren't right for me," she added softly. "Mattie," Jimmy began again. "Please take me inside," she said quietly. "I'm tired now." This was too hard. She wanted him to care for her, but not out of guilt. Gently Jimmy got up and once again hoisted her over his shoulder. "Sure Mattie, whatever you say." And something in his voice made Mattie want to cry, but she did not. "Thank you," was all she could manage. Chapter Twenty Nine Buck turned from the horse he was leading into the stable when he heard a peal of laughter. He saw Violet galloping into the yard, Pierce's horse right behind her. Violet slid off the animal and began to run but Pierce caught up to her as he jumped off his mount. "I still won," Violet told him, her voice full of amusement. "A city boy like you can't ride near as well as an Iowa girl." "Is the insult because you are from Iowa, or because you are a girl?" Pierce grinned. Violet tossed her head. "Admit that I'm a better rider than you." Pierce grabbed her hand. "You are a much better rider than me. In fact, you are the best rider in the state, the country, the whole world!" Violet laughed. Buck winced as he made his footsteps as quiet as possible. Every word that was spoken between Pierce and Violet stabbed at him. Their conversations were so natural. But what hurt most was that he had thought his conversations with Violet were natural too. In fact, he had been certain he and Violet had come to a turning point. She had confided in him and in the barn, she had let him hold her. He thought he had made her feel safe, but maybe it had been nothing, he thought, his heart contracting sharply. Buck took another step backwards, wanting to disappear inside that barn before he was spotted. Unfortunately he failed. "Mr. Cross," Pierce said, "good afternoon." Violet smoothed her hair back, pulling her hand away from Pierce's. "Buck," she whispered. "I'm sorry," Buck said evenly, "I did not mean to intrude. Shall I put the horses away?" he continued in as subservient a manner as he could manage. But it was not easy. Inside he was filled with pain. He told himself that wonderful, smooth talking Pierce was a far better match for Violet than he would ever be. "That would be great," Pierce told him enthusiastically. "Vi was just telling me about her beautiful garden. I'd love to see it," he said to Violet. Buck met Violet's eyes unable to hide the hurt. That was their spot. "I watered it for you," he said softly. "Thank you," Violet replied. She glanced guiltily at Pierce. "I've been preoccupied." Pierced grinned at her. Leered was probably a better word, Buck thought irritably. "Preoccupied?" Pierce teased. Violet batted her eyes at him. "Something wrong with being a preoccupation?" "As long as I'm your preoccupation," Pierce told her, "I'm fine." He looked at Buck. "Do you mind?" he gestured toward the horses. "No," Buck replied tiredly, "that is my job." Pierce took Violet by the hand once more, ready to leave the yard when Buck spoke up. "When is Mr. Millard coming?" Buck asked suddenly. Pierce had been here for over a week, flirting with Violet yet there was barely a mention of Steven Millard and any legal proceedings that may be coming up. "Steven?" Pierce said, the surprise of being questioned by the Kiowa written all over his face. "I expect in a week or so." "Another week?" Violet asked and Buck was unable to tell if this was a good or bad thing. Her voice and her expression were completely bland. "Have you brought any of the paperwork with you?" Buck demanded. "I'm sorry," Pierce said smoothly, "but why is this your concern?" "Buck is close to my uncle," Violet interjected, casually explaining away Buck's seemingly unfounded hostility. "Ah," Pierce said thoughtfully. "Mr. Hunter is getting impatient with me also." He kissed Violet's cheek. "I guess I have been a bit preoccupied myself." "Sorry," Buck muttered. His jealously has caused him to behave completely inappropriately. He had to remember his job, his role was that of stable boy, nothing else. "Let's go to the garden," Violet said. She glanced furtively at Buck. "I'm sure Mr. Millard will get here soon enough." As they left, Buck heard Pierce apologizing for the delay and Violet laughingly dismissing it. And he felt the hole inside him grow a little wider. Chapter Thirty Jimmy pushed the swing with his feet and rocked to and fro as he stared off into the darkness. It had been a long day. After making his usual check around the property he had returned to the house, grabbed a sandwich and went to see Mattie. This was his normal routine. He had been so pleased to see her making progress. Linda Donner had stopped coming to the house. Linda told him that his arm would either heal on its own or it would not. There was nothing more she could do for him. And Mattie had progressed to the point that she merely required soaking in a tub daily. Jimmy however restricted his time with her to afternoons only. They ate lunch together and he would bring Max in so Mattie could play with him. There were no more excursions outside. No more stories. No more handholding. Just shallow, meaningless conversations about the other people living at the house and Max. Jimmy put his head in his hands. God, he missed her. He did not know when Mattie had become such a big part of his life but she had. And now that he was no longer a fixture in her room he had a big empty space inside him. "Hey," Buck said quietly and Jimmy lifted his head. "I had dinner with her." He took a seat beside his friend. Jimmy nodded. He had asked Buck, Kid and Lou to take turns eating dinner with Mattie so she would not feel so alone. "Did you bring her the peanuts?" He knew Mattie enjoyed them so when he saw some in the store the other day he had promptly bought them for her. But he no longer felt like he should be the one giving them to her. Thus he had asked Buck to give the nuts to her. "Yeah," Buck replied giving him a strange look. "Thanks." "You should -" Buck began. "No," Jimmy interrupted, "I shouldn't." "You are acting crazy," Buck exclaimed. "I am not!" "Then why are you acting like this? Why can't you eat dinner with her anymore? You two were as thick as thieves and now suddenly you can't even give her a little present." "Because, because," Jimmy stumbled over the words. "I don't know," he said finally. Buck merely looked at him. "I took her outside a few days ago," Jimmy said quietly. "You what?!" "She needed to go outside, she needs to feel alive," Jimmy explained so as to stem Buck's lecture he knew would be forthcoming. Mercifully Buck did not tell him how stupid taking Mattie outside, in her state, was. "And?" he said expectantly. "She was talking about how no one would ever be interested in her again and I told," Jimmy said his voice breaking, "I told her that if she was mine, that if she wanted me," he continued, his voice become softer and softer, "and she cut me off. She wouldn't even let me finish." "Jimmy," Buck started. But Jimmy interrupted him. "She doesn't want me, not like that," he said without hesitation. Mattie had made that fact abundantly clear. "She looks at you like you are -" Buck began anew. "Not anymore," Jimmy burst out. Mattie did not even look at him anymore. "There's got to be something else going on," Buck told him firmly. Jimmy shrugged. "I can only do what she asks. I can't make her care about me." "You can try." "I already have. She made it plain, she doesn't want me," Jimmy said flatly. "I'm sorry." Jimmy shrugged once more. "How's Violet." It was Buck's turn to look downcast then. "With Pierce." "Again?" "Again." "I'm sorry," Jimmy told him. Buck nodded. "What are you two doing out here?" Teaspoon exclaimed, coming out from the house. "Sitting out here on a swing together? Shouldn't you be wooing your lady friend?" he asked, turning to Jimmy. "Our lady friends," Jimmy said coldly, rising to his feet, "don't want us." With that pronouncement he stalked off into the darkness. "Our? Buck?" Teaspoon asked, his voice full of questions and concern. "It's nothing," Buck told him, also getting up. "'Night," he said before going back into the house. Chapter Thirty One Violet stood by Mattie's bedroom door. She had overheard the doctor tell her how well she was doing the other day and inwardly she was thrilled. Mattie had been through so much, and now she was getting visibly better. She was walking around, albeit very slowly, but she was moving. She was no longer treated by Linda Donner. She still had to have salve rubbed on her nightly, but Jane took care of this. At night Mattie would soak in a tub, and Jane would attend to her needs. While I skulk about, Violet thought guiltily. "Oh, good evening, Miss," Jane said, the surprise of seeing Violet outside of Mattie's room written all over her face. "Evening, Jane," Violet replied quietly. "Are you here to see Mattie?" Jane moved a hand toward the door as if to open it. Violet shook her head. "How is she?" She prayed Mattie was doing well, and from all appearances she seemed to be, but she could not go visit her friend. Her arm was fine. Mattie was still suffering. It was so unfair. Mattie would never forgive her. "Fine," Jane told her. "But I think she would do much better if you'd see her." Violet averted her eyes. She heard the mild reproof in Jane's voice. She was a terrible friend, on every level possible. "I think so too," a voice called out. When Violet turned her head, she found her uncle watching her very carefully. "I'm sorry," Jane said quickly, "I did not mean to speak out of turn." "You didn't," Teaspoon and Violet chorused. Jane smiled. "If you'll excuse me I was about to go fix Mattie her dinner tray." "Darlin'," Teaspoon began. "Save it," Violet spat out. "No," Teaspoon told her sharply. "You need to listen to what I have to say." Violet planted her hands on her hips and glared at Teaspoon. "Fine, I'm listening." How dare he lecture her, she fumed inwardly. "I know part of how you behave is because of me," he said quietly. Violet lifted a brow then quickly lowered it upon remembering Buck said she looked like Teaspoon when she did that. "Your mother told me that you loved hearing about my doings," Teaspoon continued. "So?" Violet demanded belligerently. "I think you need to know why I did some of the things I did." He paused. "Okay, fine, I'll bite," Violet said angrily. "Oh please tell me why you did what you did?" she asked, her voice full of sarcasm "My first wife was the love of my life, or so I thought," Teaspoon said mildly. "When she died, I never thought I'd find anyone else who could fill my heart." Once more he paused, but Violet did not have it in her to make another snappish retort. "I decided from then on that everything was temporary. No need to open my heart up again. Nothing was gonna last." Teaspoon shook his head. "Opening up my heart was too painful, and I wasn't about to do that again." Violet bit her lip and lowered her eyes. His voice was so pain filled. "Then I met my Georgia peach," he said with a smile. "Lovely, funny gal, but in the end neither of us wanted more than a fling so we ended a marriage that never should have started. I think you are about to make a similar mistake." "With Pierce? I doubt it." She had no real interest in Pierce. But everyone thought she did. "Life is short," she added, but there was no rancor in her voice, just sadness. Mattie's injuries had made that abundantly clear. "Life is short," Teaspoon agreed. "I just should have remembered that when I met Polly." "Wife number three," Violet interjected. Despite her protests she was very interested in what her uncle had to say. Teaspoon smiled. "Wife number three. And I loved Polly. More than I ever let on," he said sadly. "I always kept a part of my heart guarded. I couldn't be hurt again if I did that, right?" Violet simply looked at him. Clearly he had a point to make. "Except I kept myself from letting her in, and she sensed that. She tried over and over again to get me to open up, but I told myself it was better to keep things light." Teaspoon shook his head, the sorrow he felt etched upon his face. "I kept them light, so light that Polly cheated on me. She didn't think I cared about her. When I found her with," he stopped. "I'm sorry," Violet told him sincerely. No one deserved that kind of pain. "It was my fault," Teaspoon said. "I never let her in. She was married to me, yet I don't think she ever felt more alone in her life. That fella." He shook his head once more. Teaspoon cleared his throat. "It was my fault," he said firmly. "What about number four, five and six?" Violet asked quietly. "One was another mistake, and the other two died." "I'm sorry for your losses," Violet told him quietly. "But I don't think this has anything to do with me." "It has everything to do with you," Teaspoon said without hesitation. "I-," Violet protested, but she did not get a chance to continue. "You are playing at life, guarding your heart, and I'm living proof that doing so only hurts you in the end," Teaspoon told her. "Don't be like me. Don't be a coward." "I'm not a coward!" Violet exclaimed. "You are out here hiding from Mattie because you are afraid," Teaspoon said. "A coward runs away when he is afraid." Even though the words were harsh Violet did not take offense. She heard the sorrow in his voice. She knew he was putting himself in the same category as well. But she still thought Teaspoon was wrong. "Because she must hate me. I'm fine and she," Violet stopped, shuddering; she could not continue. "I doubt very much she hates you," Teaspoon said. "But instead of finding out, you are avoiding her. I think that is the definition of cowardice." Violet's eyes blazed at him. "And Buck," Teaspoon began. "Buck is a friend." Or at least he had been until she had treated him like dirt, Violet thought sadly. "Do you feel anything for Pierce? Is it anything close to the way you felt with Buck?" "How do you know how I felt about Buck?" Violet demanded. "How do you know how I feel about anything?" "I have eyes," Teaspoon told her gently. "Whenever something was up, you looked at him first." Violet's eyes widened. Had she been so obvious? She had vowed never to be so transparent ever again, had she failed in this too? "Tell me, darlin'," Teaspoon said, "what do you really want?" Violet was unable to answer him. Teaspoon gave her a sad smile. "You don't even know yourself, do you?" "No," Violet admitted. She did not pull away when Teaspoon put an arm around her. "Pierce is like my Georgia peach, fun but don't make my mistake and let the real thing just slip away," Teaspoon told her. "He shouldn't be saddled with me," Violet whispered, burying her head against Teaspoon's shoulder. She knew exactly who Teaspoon was referring to. "Saddled?" Teaspoon asked. Violet raised her head, meeting Teaspoon's steady gaze with her own. "I'm expecting." The words were so hard to say out loud. In fact, Violet was certain she heard the words echoing down the hallway. Expecting… expecting… expecting… Teaspoon gave her a wry grin. "I know." Violet's jaw dropped. "Your ma suspected." "She did?!?" Teaspoon nodded. "One look confirmed it." "Why didn't she say anything? Why didn't you?" Teaspoon shrugged. "We both figured you'd tell us when you are ready." Violet dropped her eyes. "I don't think I'm ready." But she knew she was getting close. The fact that Teaspoon knew had brought her a great sense of relief. "When you're ready, I'd be honored to listen." Violet was able to smile at his words. There was no condemnation. Just love and acceptance. Teaspoon patted her shoulder as he released her from his embrace. "Now go see Mattie." "After all she's been through." Violet shook her head. Her inner turmoil began to roil once more. "Go see her because of all she has been through. Open that heart of yours, no need to be hiding it," Teaspoon said. "Teaspoon," Violet began. "It's a good heart," Teaspoon said firmly. "And the people you are hiding from need you. Believe me, they depend on you and they need you more than you think." Violet nodded, hoping her uncle was right. As she reached for the doorknob she turned, "Thank you." "I think we need to make a pact," Teaspoon grinned. "We will both be more honest with each other and with ourselves." "I'm going to hold you to it," Violet said, her eyes dancing. "Same to you missy," Teaspoon laughed. He waved a hand at her. "Like right this moment." Chapter Thirty Two As Violet stepped into Mattie's room, her friend's eyes popped open. "Violet," she said quietly. Violet took a seat on the edge of the bed. "I've come to apologize." "No need," Mattie said coolly. "I stayed away because I'm a coward," Violet told her, parroting her uncle's words. "It should have been me who got caught in that fire, but instead it was you; I was sure you hated me, and if you didn't then, you surely must now." Mattie watched her carefully. "You are here because of me. Whoever set that fire wanted me dead, not you. But you got hurt." "You didn't force me to come here. I wanted to come," Mattie told her. "At least here I get a room of my own," she said, her voice lightening a bit. Violet smiled. "I wish you would have come to see me at least," Mattie continued, her voice serious again. "So do I," Violet responded. "I blamed myself, and I just couldn't come to you and see you blame me too. So I hid." "Some of us don't have the luxury of hiding." "It should have been me that got hurt," Violet said. "Would that have made you feel better?" Mattie asked, looking surprised. "It would have made me not feel so guilty." "You don't have anything to feel guilty for," Mattie told her. "What happened was not your fault." "But what happened afterward was," Violet finished for her. "I'm so sorry. I let you down when you needed me most." "You didn't let me down," Mattie continued softly. "I was disappointed in you. But the truth is you have always been there for me. You have been there through my worst times, like after I lost my folks. Part of me knew something else had to be going on for you to just run off and hide like that." She looked at Violet. "Is the baby okay?" "Yes." Violet put a hand on her belly. Mattie gave her a quizzical look. "Did you tell Buck? Was he angry?" she guessed, trying to figure out possible reasons for Violet's absence from her life. "I told him," Violet replied, "and he was wonderful." "Okay." Mattie gave her a look of utter confusion. "I didn't know what to do," Violet continued. "You were hurt, and I felt so guilty." She raised a hand at Mattie's protestations. "I still feel guilty. I can't help it. But when Buck found out about the baby, he was wonderful." "And that's bad?" "It was unexpected." "He cares about you." "That makes it harder," Violet replied. "I'm not ready to care about anyone." Mattie gave her a sad smile. "But that is no excuse to be hiding from you. I just felt so bad, and I couldn't see you suffer." Violet shook her head. "So I let you suffer alone." "I wasn't alone." "So my being gone was a good thing?" Violet asked lightly, recalling Jimmy's constant presence in Mattie's life. Or least he had been a constant presence. "Kinda," Mattie laughed. Violet narrowed her eyes at her friend in mock anger, relieved to be able to take a deep breath. Mattie had just forgiven her. "At least for a little while," Mattie finished, her voice filling with sadness. "But the truth is, I still need you," she added softly. "I'm so scared." "Of?" Violet asked. "Never getting out of this bed." "We can work on that," Violet said with a small smile. "I was counting on that," Mattie smiled. "Oh Mattie." Violet hurried to her side and embraced her tightly. "Easy okay," Mattie laughed. "My back." Violet quickly released her. "Sorry." Mattie motioned to a chair in the corner. "Sit. Tell me about the outside world." As Violet took a seat she said, "First you tell me how you are feeling." "Better, I guess. The treatments were pretty awful, but Linda Donner doesn't come in regularly anymore." "And Jimmy?" Violet wanted to know why he was no longer in Mattie's room all the time. Mattie averted her eyes. "He doesn't come in regularly either," Violet persisted. Mattie shook her head. "It would never work out. I just forgot that for a little while." "Mattie," Violet sighed. "But I still miss him," Mattie said brokenly. Violet moved to the bed and put her arm carefully around Mattie's neck. "I'm sorry." She saw her uncle peek into the room, flashed him a quick smile and mouthed, "Thank you." Teaspoon nodded at her and quickly disappeared. Chapter Thirty Three Mattie placed a hand flat against the wall as she took another step. At least I'm moving on my own two feet, she thought. Violet had helped her out of bed, gotten her dressed or sort of dressed - she simply wore her shift and a dress over it. A corset would have caused her too much pain. And then Violet had helped her out into the hallway, but she had to leave when Teaspoon called her down. She wanted to help Mattie back to bed, but Mattie had refused. She had been stuck in bed for far too long. Besides how long could Violet be gone she had reasoned. But right now Violet had been gone too long. Mattie was feeling very weak at the moment. She felt her legs start to give way. Just land on your knees, Mattie told her self as she began to fall. But before she hit the ground she felt a pair of strong hands around her waist. Once she was upright, she said, "Thanks." "No problem," Jimmy replied. He paused, "What are you doing?" "Trying to walk," Mattie admitted feeling somewhat foolish. "Yeah, I can see that. But by yourself?" "Violet was here, but she got called downstairs. It sounded important." Mattie stopped. "Is it important?" Jimmy did not answer. He simply began guiding her back to the bedroom. Mattie stopped moving. "Is it?" she asked again. "Yes." Mattie turned herself slowly around so she could face him. "What happened?" "Steven Millard was found dead." "Steven Millard? The lawyer? The one Pierce was working for?" Mattie exclaimed. Jimmy nodded. "Oh God, what does that mean? Is someone going to come after Violet next? Did he have something important with him? Was he killed for something he had or did he know something?" Mattie asked quickly. She felt her back begin to tighten up, and she started to fall again. Once more Jimmy caught her and held her up. But this time Mattie could not stay upright. Jimmy pulled her against him and began moving to her bedroom once more. "You need to lie down." Mattie did not say a word. She let Jimmy guide her into the bedroom and did not protest as he helped her sit on the bed. Her mind was reeling with possibilities. Was the lawyer's death an accident? Was he murdered? Who would kill him? Did he have something with him that he was supposed to give to Violet? Jimmy propped the pillows up and swung Mattie's legs into the bed and helped her slide backward so she was somewhat comfortable. "Jimmy," she said quietly, "why would someone kill the lawyer?" "I don't know," Jimmy replied, pulling the blanket up over her knees. "Feeling better now?" "Yes," Mattie replied. "Thank you." She studied the bedcovers. "You're always there when I need you most," she whispered brokenly. Mattie the girl who was so afraid of being left had found someone she could count on. The irony was she could not let him saddle himself with her. The fact he wouldn't leave would destroy them once he realized he was stuck with someone as hideous as her. Jimmy sat on the bed, sensing her obvious disquiet. He took her hand in his and rubbed her palm with his thumb. And Mattie was grateful; hearing the news of the lawyer's senseless death had shaken her badly. She did not like being in the middle of this kind of violence. But like it or not, Jimmy gave her reassurance, something she rarely experienced. "You'll be okay," he murmured. Unable to stop herself, Mattie reached for him, but she could not get her arms all the way around him, the skin on her back to still too tight. She dropped her arms and then yanked her hand away from his. Sometimes she needed stark reminders as to why she could not let him care for her. "Thank you," she said again. "Anything for you, Mattie," Jimmy said, dropping a kiss on the top of her head and he moved to his feet. As he walked toward the door, Mattie called out, "Can you tell me what else you find out about the lawyer being killed." "I will," Jimmy assured her before leaving. Chapter Thirty Four "Steven Millard was killed," Violet parroted the words Teaspoon had just told her. "Sit," Teaspoon said, and Buck pushed a chair in the study toward her. Violet sat down heavily. "This is my fault," she whispered. "No," Teaspoon said firmly, "whoever killed Steven is at fault." "But he was coming here because of me." "Because of Amos Farthington actually," Teaspoon said dryly. "I don't understand why this is happening," Violet exclaimed. "First the fire and now this." "Money," Teaspoon replied. "Do we know anything?" Violet asked. "Not yet," Teaspoon replied. Buck watched the exchange quietly. Something was different. Teaspoon was not hiding anything. He broke the news to Violet first. As soon as Jimmy came in from town with the news, Teaspoon had called Violet down. "Did your Pinkerton friend say anything about Steven Millard?" Buck asked. "Just that he was a good lawyer," Teaspoon answered. "One of the best in fact." "Did your friend check out Pierce Davis?" Buck asked softly, and Violet turned to stare at him. "No, I haven't asked him to," Teaspoon replied, "but I will." "Oh come on," Violet snapped, "Pierce?" "He made it, and Steven didn't," Teaspoon told her simply. "And that is suspicious?" Violet exclaimed. "At this point in time everything is suspicious," Teaspoon said. He rose to his feet. "I think I will go to town. I want to talk to the sheriff about Steven Millard's death and send the wire." He squeezed Violet's hand on his way to the door. "You okay?" he asked softly. "No," Violet replied. "I think I want to go home," she said only half-jokingly. Teaspoon smiled. "I'll be back soon, and we can all discuss this at dinner." Violet nodded. Once Teaspoon had left, Buck also rose to his feet. "Buck," Violet began quickly. Buck stopped. "I'm sorry," Violet said quietly. "I didn't mean to snap at you when you mentioned Pierce." Buck nodded. "I'm sorry for bringing him up." He looked at his feet intently. "I just don't like him," he admitted reluctantly. He heard Violet draw a sharp breath. Maybe he was not too late, he thought. Maybe he needed to take a risk. After all, hiding everything had not made him happy. Perhaps a different tact was in order. He raised his head and met her gaze. "I don't like seeing him with you." Violet stared at him. "When I saw you with him, it seemed so right, so natural. I thought you cared for him," Buck continued. "I don't," Violet said quickly. She looked a bit surprised at how quickly the words had flown out of her mouth. Buck smiled. "I told Teaspoon about, about," she paused. "Your condition," Buck put in helpfully. Violet nodded. "He was wonderful." Her eyes met his. "Like you were." "Did you think we'd judge you?" "I really didn't think at all," Violet admitted. "When I found out, I thought Gerald," she paused, "the father, would come back, so I just waited for him. And when I finally realized he wouldn't, I didn't know what to do so I did nothing." She looked at the floor. "I'm still doing nothing." "Violet," Buck began gently. "Do you really believe Pierce was up to something?" she asked suddenly, looking up at him. Buck had expected this sudden shift. Violet was not ready to tell him about this Gerald person and he had to respect that. If all she could give him was a name he would take it, gladly. Buck nodded. He had his reasons to be suspicious and not all of them were based on jealousy. "Pierce appeared out of nowhere, performed none of his job duties and then disappeared when his boss had turned up dead." Violet gave him a faint smile. "Well, when you put it like that," she laughed. "Just be careful," Buck told her solemnly. Chapter Thirty Five Teaspoon folded the note Jane had given him. "He just left a note?" He stared at the note Pierce had left behind. He did not have much of an appetite to begin with and now seeing the note made what hunger he had left instantly dissipate. Jane nodded, picking up Teaspoon's half empty breakfast plate when he pushed it away from him. "Can you sit down a minute?" Teaspoon asked. Jane frowned. "Something about this doesn't smell right," Teaspoon said slowly. Jane gave him a quizzical look but did as he asked and took a seat across from him at the dining room table. "Why wouldn't Pierce tell anyone he was leaving?" "He and Miss Violet aren't as close as they once were," Jane said softly. "Perhaps he is nursing a broken heart." Teaspoon frowned. "Do you really think that is it?" He did not know Jane, but he knew she was the eyes and ears of this place. And she had been for quite a while. "Are you asking if I'm suspicious of Pierce?" "Yes." Teaspoon paused. "I trust your judgment. It's hard for me," he continued quietly. "Violet is my niece. She is all my sister has left. I don't know if I'm being an overprotective old fool, or if I'm right. I need someone who can tell me either way." His boys might tell him but he was not sure. They might be so sure of following his lead that they were missing the same things he was. "I think it's odd," Jane said after a long while. "Most men, even if they were not serious about a young lady would at least say good bye. Most lawyers would certainly tell their client they were leaving." Teaspoon nodded. "I agree." Jane bit her lip. Clearly something else was on her mind. "I wish I knew a bit more about Amos," Teaspoon said casually, but in reality he was on a fishing expedition. "Would that help you?" Jane asked. "Sure would. I feel like I'm blind here. This ain't my home. I don't know what is right and what is not." "Pierce reminds me of someone," Jane told him softly. Teaspoon watched her closely. "There was a maid here," she stopped. "Yes," Teaspoon said encouragingly. "Kate." She stopped once more. "Jane, please, if this is important I'd like to hear. It's my niece's life we are talking about." "Many years ago, Amos Farthington and I were lovers." When Teaspoon merely nodded his head in acknowledgement, Jane continued. "It was what was done. Not just here, but everywhere. The master of the house had affairs with the women who worked in it." Her voice took on a note of bitterness. Lovers was probably not the right word for what went on. Teaspoon realized that there was no love, no affection involved here. Amos Farthington abused his position. "Kate too?" "Yes, Kate too," Jane replied wearily. "Except I think she thought he cared about her. When he moved on to the next young thing he hired, she was heartbroken and left." "Is there any particular reason for telling me about Kate?" Teaspoon asked gently. "I think Pierce might be her son." Teaspoon inhaled sharply. "Amos' son too?" Jane nodded. "It explains her departure. She was hurt, and may be she wanted to punish Mr. Farthington. Not that he would have cared about her child," she added with a trace of bitterness. "So he might not be connected to Steven Millard's law firm at all?" he asked, his mind awhirl with possibilities. "He feels this is his inheritance not Violet's." Jane nodded once more. "I should have said something earlier," she said sorrowfully. "I just didn't realize it until yesterday. He folds his napkin up at dinner the exact same way she did." She took Teaspoon's napkin and folded it into a triangle which she then set upright. "I always used to tease her about it. She said it was what society folk did. She always did want to be something she was not," she finished sadly. "I don't think anyone could find fault in not suspecting Pierce was the son of a long gone employee," Teaspoon smiled. "I have a suspicious mind and I didn't even think he could be up to no good until he vanished." Jane returned his smile and it warmed Teaspoon's heart. "Is she still alive? Do you think Pierce went to her?" Teaspoon asked quickly. "I don't know. I haven't thought about her in years." "Well, it's as good a place as any to start digging," Teaspoon said. Impulsively he reached across the table and took Jane's hand. "Thank you. I know that wasn't easy sharing that information with me." Jane smiled sadly. "It was a long time ago." "But it still hurts you." Jane nodded, her eyes filled with old regrets. She rose to her feet, pulling her hand away from his. "I hope what I have told you helped." "Jane," Teaspoon said quickly. When she stopped moving and looked back at him, he continued. "Maybe, someday, we could take a walk, and you can tell me more about yourself." "I don't think that would be appropriate," Jane told him quietly. "I go on and on about myself and this is the first time I've heard you say anything about yourself," Teaspoon told her quickly. "It's really not," Jane began once more. Teaspoon cut her off. He did not want to hear why taking a walk with him would not be appropriate. "Think of it as finishing a conversation." Jane gave him a quizzical look. "You know much too much about me, fair is fair," Teaspoon grinned. Jane watched him closely. "I'm not asking you to do anything you aren't comfortable with," Teaspoon said, the humor in his voice vanishing. "I'm just asking you to give me a chance. I ain't half bad, once you get to know me better," he added, the laughter quickly returning. "Maybe I will," Jane said lightly. She turned toward the kitchen. "I fully intend to hold you to that," Teaspoon called out. Chapter Thirty Six "How was town?" Jimmy asked Teaspoon as he took his place at the dinner table. Teaspoon had been going to town every day since Pierce had vanished. It has been two weeks since the young man had vanished. He, Kid and Buck had searched high and low but found nothing. There was no indication as to where Pierce had gone to. "I got the telegram," Teaspoon announced wearily. "Finally," Kid said, the relief he felt written upon his face. The anxiety had been building with each passing day in the house. No one knew what to expect. Another attempt on Violet's life, more visitors, more lies and deceit. "So what's it say?" Lou asked impatiently. Teaspoon cleared his throat, a bit dramatic, but they were all anxious to hear what was in the telegram. "No Pierce Davis worked for us stop. Steven Millard's file will be reviewed stop. Another attorney will be sent stop. Details will be sent via telegram stop." "Well, that's a whole lot of nothing," Jimmy exploded. "So what do we do now?" Violet asked Teaspoon. "Nothing," Teaspoon replied. "Nothing?" the group seated at the table chorused loudly. "We wait," Teaspoon told them. "Like we've been doing?" Jimmy exclaimed. "Like we think nothing's wrong," Teaspoon corrected him. "If Pierce is around here," Kid began. "Then we act as if we don't have a care in the world," Teaspoon said. Jimmy rolled his eyes. "Playing possum," Teaspoon continued. "There's a dance in town," Violet said quietly. "Then we should all attend," Teaspoon declared. "What?" Jimmy and Buck chorused. "Pierce needs to think that we don't suspect him," Teaspoon said calmly. "But going to town?" Buck shook his head. "Why expose Violet like that?" "I was shot here," Violet said quietly. "A public place might be safer," Teaspoon added. Jimmy shook his head. "I don't like it." Teaspoon ignored him and continued. "I met a few people in town. I will tell them that Violet will be coming. She wants to start becoming a part of the community." He turned to Jane. "Can you fill us in on what is expected?" Jane set a dish on the table and Jimmy looked at her in surprise. He had not even seen her enter. "I can," she replied. "Are we all expected to go?" Buck asked. "I think it's best if you don't," Teaspoon told him sadly. Jimmy narrowed his eyes at him. "Buck is a hired hand," Teaspoon explained. "An Indian hired hand," Buck added bitterly. "So what about me?" Jimmy asked. "You stay back too," Teaspoon said. "No need for anyone to think Violet needs protection. I'll escort her." He looked at Kid and Lou. "No one from town knows either one of you, right?" "Right," Lou said, frowning slightly. "Then you can help me keep watch," Teaspoon said, "without attracting any suspicion". "Teaspoon," Kid began. "If you see anything, Lou," Teaspoon said pointedly, obviously knowing what Kid was about to say, "you let us know." After a long moment Lou nodded. Her condition obviously had affected her mind, Jimmy thought irritably. First, she was agreeing to this nonsense, and second, she wasn't even raising a fuss at Kid's protectiveness. Teaspoon looked at Mattie. "You feel up to going to a dance?" "You can wear your new dress," Violet said, her voice filling with excitement. "I guess," Mattie said, but Jimmy heard the reluctance in her voice. She was now walking normally. In fact, she was pretty much doing everything she used to do save riding. Jimmy surmised that her hesitation was not about how she was feeling but more about her appearance. He casually appraised her. Her hair was short but neat. It reminded him a bit of how Lou's used to look, except that her hair was wavier than Lou's had been. But she was prone to brushing her cheek, self conscious about the scar just below her ear. It was hardly noticeable, but he knew Mattie thought the whole world was fixated on that little scar, and that her big green eyes and sweet smile were unnoticeable. It was a crying shame that she had no idea how wrong she was. Violet beamed at her. "Then it's settled. We go to the dance," Teaspoon announced. Chapter Thirty Seven Mattie stripped off the beautiful green dress that Violet's parents had bought her. There was no way she could wear it to the dance. There was no way she could ever wear it again, she thought, her heart filled with sorrow and she sat down heavily on the bed. It was too low cut in the back. If she wore that dress her scars would be very visible especially the one on her neck that went round to her throat and ended just below her ear. She could hide part of the scar with her hair, but there was no way she could do so wearing that dress. Mattie fingered the green cloth sorrowfully. How she had loved that dress. She heard the door open. "Everyone is ready," Lou said. She looked at Mattie who was still in her shift sitting on the bed. "I can't go," Mattie told her sadly. "I don't have anything to wear." "What about that dress right there?" Lou exclaimed. "It, it looks bad," Mattie mumbled. "It's a beautiful dress," Lou told her firmly. "On me," Mattie said in a tired voice. "Oh, I'm sure you look beautiful," Lou scolded her. Mattie shook her head. "I really can't." Lou glanced backward. "Maybe Violet has something else you can borrow," she mused. "Violet already left with Teaspoon." Mattie shook her head. "And I know what she has." She paused, "It's not the dress so much," she admitted quietly, "I just don't feel comfortable going." Lou frowned. "I'll tell Kid that I'll stay back and we can -" "No," Mattie interrupted. "Go. Have fun. I'll be fine. Really," she added quickly when Lou began to protest once more. "If you're sure," Lou said reluctantly. It was obvious that Lou had her misgivings about leaving. But clearly she was not going to push Mattie into something she was not ready for. "I'm positive," Mattie assured her in an overly bright voice. "Have a good time dancing with your handsome husband," she said as Lou waved goodbye. Once she was gone, Mattie's head dropped to her chest. She had finally felt well enough to go to town, get away from this house and now she could not. She would look ridiculous wearing her everyday dress while everyone else was in their Sunday best. All her life she had worn hand-me-downs and back home it was fine. There were many large families in town. But this was different. She was new in town. She wanted to look nice, make a good first impression. She rubbed the green cloth once more. That was not it at all. She could have gone in another dress. It was just putting on the green gown and seeing her scars, it had reminded her of how vivid the scars were. She was not ready for strangers to gawk at her. She sighed heavily and stood up. There was no point in feeling sorry for herself. She should be happy she was alive. She very nearly died. She could have been bedridden for months. But she was up and about. She should not have to remind herself of these facts, she thought as she hung the dress back in her closet. In spite of these forced cheery thoughts, Mattie was miserable. She could not make herself feel happy for things that everyone else took for granted. "I heard you weren't going to the dance," Mattie heard a voice say as the door opened. She turned and saw Jane there. "No," Mattie shook her head. "I don't mean to intrude but can I ask why? I thought everyone was looking forward to the dance." "I was," Mattie told her softly, "but as it turns out I don't have anything to wear." "That really isn't important in this town," Jane told her kindly. "I tried on my dress," Mattie admitted. "It's cut kinda low in the back." She paused. "It reminded me of how bad my back looks." Jane shook her head. "It's not near as bad as you think." "But I can't get that notion out of my head. All night long I would be thinking about it." Jane gave her a sad smile. "With your pretty face, I doubt many men would be looking at your scars." "Thank you," Mattie smiled, "for saying that. But really I'm not pretty. When Violet is in a room" "Miss Violet is stunning," Jane said without hesitation. "But that is hardly any reason to sell yourself short." She laughed. "If I had a figure like yours," she stopped while Mattie watched her. Jane appeared to be deep in thought. "Come with me," Jane said, and when Mattie hesitated, she added, "please. I think I have the solution to your problems." Feeling intrigued by Jane's words, Mattie followed the older woman down the hall and to her bedroom. Jane went to her closet and removed a box. When she opened it, Mattie saw a maroon dress. Jane removed the dress and held it up. "I can iron it and it should do just fine," Jane told her. "What?" Mattie exclaimed feeling thoroughly confused. "You can wear this to the dance," Jane said calmly. "How, what, I mean I can't," Mattie sputtered. "Whose dress was it?" she asked, studying the material. It really was a beautiful gown, a deep shade of maroon and silver buttons down the front. She reached out and touched the dress. It was so soft. "My daughter's," Jane replied quietly. Mattie frowned. Jane had a daughter? She had never mentioned it before. But she did not get a chance to ponder the thought when Jane added, "You two are about the same size." Jane was serious about her going to the dance in the dress, Mattie realized. "And this dress will work better than mine?" she exclaimed in disbelief. "It's cut high in the back." Jane held the dress by one shoulder and ran her finger across the high collar. "It was a popular style a few years back." "I can't," Mattie began. "Just try it on," Jane urged her. "If you say no, I won't push. I promise," she smiled. "Okay," Mattie agreed, her voice filled with skepticism. Jane helped her off with the dress she was wearing and then slipped the maroon gown over her head. She stepped back and smiled. "The color suits you." Mattie smoothed the dress down. "It's so grand." Jane moved to her back and deftly hooked it up. "Does it bother you here?" Mattie shook her head. "No." The dress was so soft that it did not bother her at all. "Good," Jane said moving back to stand in front of Mattie. "You look beautiful." She turned Mattie by the shoulders so she faced the mirror. "See." Mattie studied herself. The maroon gown did suit her. It brought out the green in her eyes and the rosiness in her cheeks. As Jane had promised, the dress was high in the back. Not a single scar, save the one that went round her throat, was visible. "But it's so low cut," she protested. Mattie did not think she had ever worn such a revealing dress. "It's made for a girl with a figure like yours," Jane said with a laugh. When Mattie blushed, she added, "No one will notice anything back here now." "Jane!" Mattie exclaimed, feeling a bit scandalized. "You look beautiful, dear," Jane assured her. "Please go to that dance. It makes me so sad to see you cut yourself off from others." Like you, Mattie thought. She saw how alone Jane was, how she rebuffed Teaspoon's mild flirtations. But she did not voice those thoughts. Jane had her reasons. Maybe she was trying to keep Mattie from following her path. "Will you go?" Jane asked her "Yes," Mattie said unable to keep from smiling at Jane's joy. "Let's get your hair fixed then," Jane said happily. Chapter Thirty Eight Mattie stood by the door, smoothing her hair back from her face. Jane had put a silver ribbon around her hair so it was pulled back at bit. A piece of hair was left loose so that it hid the scar that was just below her ear and Mattie had taken some of Violet's makeup and covered the most visible scar on her neck. "Are you ready to go?" Mattie heard a voice say. When she turned she saw Jimmy there. "You didn't go to the dance?" she asked, feeling very surprised to see him there. She was certain he would go just to make sure Violet was safe, in spite of what Teaspoon had said. Jimmy shrugged. "I'm not one for dances." "Oh." "But Jane said you needed a ride there," he continued. "I don't want to put you out," Mattie told him quickly. "I'm not doing much else so I might as well take you," Jimmy said in an emotionless manner. "Oh, okay, thanks," Mattie replied, feeling very awkward at the moment. She still had feelings for Jimmy but he appeared to be nothing but annoyed by her. And she understood why he felt that way. She blew hot and cold whenever she was with him. But she also wished he would say something, something that would shore up her confidence. She was nervous as a cat about her public appearance. Yet she also knew he would not. She had made it clear that she did not want that kind of attention from him. "I'll go hitch up one of the buggies," he said. Jimmy grabbed his gun belt and hat from a hook by the front door and left. When Mattie heard the clop-clop sound of the horse she hurried outside. Jimmy held out a hand to her and Mattie grabbed it as she gingerly climbed into the buggy. It was a silent ride into town but it gave Mattie a few moments to compose herself, to get her jitters under control. When Jimmy stopped in front of the social hall, she asked, without thinking, "Aren't you coming in?" It would be nice to walk in with someone. He gave her a small smile and Mattie was pleased to see his eyes twinkle at her again. "Someone has to make sure this horse doesn't run off." "Right, of course, how silly of me," Mattie stammered. Jimmy jumped down and came to her side of the buggy and held out his hand. Mattie clutched it tightly as she stepped down. "Will you be back soon?" she asked, still clinging to his hand. "Before you know it," Jimmy told her. He squeezed her hand. "You look so pretty," he added softly. "I'm so nervous," Mattie admitted. Jimmy put his arms around her. "No need to be," he said before quickly releasing her. "Now go in. You'll find Lou and Violet in no time." Mattie nodded. "See you later," Jimmy said, climbing back into the buggy. Mattie waited until he was out of sight before heading into the building. Chapter Thirty Nine "I'm glad you brought the girl," Teaspoon told Jimmy who was taking in the dance while leaning against a wall across the room from the band. "She sure has perked up." Jimmy nodded glumly. Yes, Mattie was having a grand time. Quite a few men had asked her to dance. When he came back from stabling the horse, he had seen her talking to Lou and considered asking her to dance. He knew she did not want him, but dammit, he still wanted her. Fortunately or unfortunately for him, he did not get a chance to ask her. Violet brought a black haired fellow over and he had asked Mattie to dance. Then when that dance had ended, a blond fella asked her, then a red haired gentleman and then the black haired man had asked her once more. "You sure look down in the mouth," Teaspoon added. "Why don't you dance with Mattie if you hate watching those other men with her?" "Am I that obvious?" Jimmy asked quietly. "Just to those who know you best," Teaspoon said with a sad smile. "She isn't interested." Teaspoon sighed heavily. "Just let it go, okay," Jimmy added. "I think you are making a mistake but I'll let it pass," Teaspoon said. He patted Jimmy on the shoulder. "Enjoy your night." "Thanks," Jimmy replied, still watching the room carefully. He told himself he was looking at more that just Mattie. He was keeping an eye out for someone who might bring harm to Violet and any innocent bystanders. Almost an hour had passed since their arrival and the dance was still going strong, he thought. At least Mattie was having a good time. He watched as the dark hair man approached her once more. "Dance with me," Lou said, interrupting his thoughts. Jimmy smiled at her. "Please," Lou said in a wheedling tone, stretching out the word. Jimmy laughed, tucking his arm under hers. "I'd be honored," he told her. As they began to move about the floor, Lou said, "If you want to dance with her, all you have to do is ask." "Huh?" Lou laughed. "You have been watching her all evening. It would be disturbing if I didn't know you as well as I do." Jimmy narrowed his eyes at her. "What is that supposed to mean?" "You still care about Mattie." Jimmy sighed. Not this again. "Lou," he began heavily. "I know, she isn't interested," Lou cut him off. "The thing is, she is interested." "She told you?" Jimmy asked, a note of hope creeping into his voice. "She doesn't have to," Lou told him. "She is watching you as much as you are watching her." Jimmy shook his head. "That don't mean a thing." "Look at her," Lou urged him, "really look at her. Her eyes say it all. She has been infatuated with you since day one." "She says different." "She lies. When you kiss her -" "What?" Jimmy exclaimed. He had not kissed her in weeks. "A woman can say the words, but she can't hide how she feels, not really," Lou said cryptically. "Can you talk to her, maybe get her to tell you how she is feeling about me before I haul off and kiss her?" Jimmy asked dryly. Lou gave him a small smile. "I could. But she would just lie to me too. She can't even admit the truth to herself; she certainly won't admit it to me." "You know Lou; this has been the least helpful conversation we have ever had." Lou laughed. "So you say now," she teased. But Jimmy had ceased listening as he saw Mattie fleeing from the hall. "I wonder what happened." Lou mused, following his eyes. Jimmy clenched his fists. "Nothing good," he growled. "'Scuse me," he told Lou before he made his way across the room. "What did you do to her?" he demanded of the black haired man. "Me?" the man exclaimed, looking at Jimmy in shock. "Nothing." Jimmy slammed a fist into the man's face and then ran outside to find Mattie. Chapter Forty "Mattie," she heard a voice call. Mattie stopped running and looked back. It was Jimmy. "Baby," he crooned, "what happened? Did he hurt you?" He cradled her in his arms, as always taking care not to squeeze her back too hard. Mattie clung tightly to him. As he ran his hands down her arms, he ran across the tear in her dress. The seam between the arm and shoulder had ripped. "Did he do that?" Jimmy asked fiercely, taking a step backward to study her. "I'll kill him." "No," Mattie said quickly, grasping his forearms. "My dress tore." She took a deep breath, trying to focus her thoughts. "David came up behind me. He just said boo. I am such a nit," she cried. "I jumped and then I realized it was him and tripped over my own feet. He caught me and my dress tore. Probably because it is old." "Oh," Jimmy said. "I decked him -" "You what?!" "I punched him in the nose. I thought he hurt you." Jimmy pulled a face. "I guess I should apologize." He rubbed a thumb across her tear stained cheek. "You got so upset over that?" he asked softly. "My dress tore, he saw my back," Mattie whispered. "I saw his face. He was so shocked." She shook her head. "For a little while I got to be the pretty new girl in town but now -" "Why wouldn't he be shocked," Jimmy interrupted. "Not many people have those kinds of scars." "I know! Can you please take me home?" "Mattie," Jimmy said patiently, "why do you assume the worst, that he was disgusted by what he saw?" "Because it is disgusting," Mattie half shouted. "You were in a fire, you have scars. He doesn't know that. It's only natural that he should be surprised." "Just please, please take me home. I can't do this. I don't want to explain what happened. I don't want his pity. I just want to go home," Mattie beseeched him. "Mattie," Jimmy began once more. "I know I am dragging you away from this dance and I'm sorry. It won't take too long. You can just drop me near the house and come back here." Mattie knew she was babbling, but she only wanted to go home.She did not want to go back into that room full of happy people. She did not want to explain what happened to her and then see David's eyes fill with pity as he asked her to dance. She did not want to see him scan the room for other girls he could dance with once he ditched her. She could not do it. "I don't even like dances," Jimmy exclaimed. But Mattie did not hear him. She simply continued to beg him to take her home. "I am sorry. I know it's a bother. I know you didn't want to come and now I'm making you leave before you even got a chance to eat anything." All night long Jimmy had stationed himself by the door, keeping watch on Violet. His one chance to enjoy an evening off duty and she had ruined it for him. "Why are you apologizing?" he asked, staring at her like she had lost her mind. And maybe she had lost her mind.She just wanted to leave. She dropped her head as she spoke once more. "Please take me home. I'd walk but it's dark. I know it's stupid, I know I'll be fine. But I still feel skittish going through the woods back to the house. No one is after me -" But Mattie did not get a chance to continue. Jimmy lifted her chin up. "I'm after you," he said quietly before he kissed her. "Don't," Mattie whispered. "Why not?" "I'm not interested in you," she said flatly. "Liar," Jimmy laughed and kissed her once more. As Mattie kissed him back, she thought of another tactic. She had to make him realize that she was not right for him. "You are just, just," she stammered, trying to finish her thoughts. But it was so difficult to think. Jimmy was kissing her neck now. "What am I?" he asked softly, in between kisses. "Am I just caught up in the moment? I am going to take one look at your back and decide you are hideous?" Dammit, she thought. How did he know what she had intended on saying? "I am hideous," Mattie told him quietly. Jimmy held her face between his hands. "You are beautiful." "You never thought that!" Mattie snapped, tearing herself away from him. "All you could see was Violet's beauty. I was just some girl you wasted time with until the pretty girl finally realized what she was missing." "That's not it at all," Jimmy said quickly. "Yes it was!" Mattie told him, unable to hide the hurt she still felt over that. He, like everyone else, had overlooked her. "You have been turning me down because of Violet this whole time," Jimmy said, his face filled with surprise as he finally realized the truth. Mattie averted her eyes, unable to answer. "I'm sorry, so sorry," Jimmy whispered, pulling her close. "I was never blind to you. I just thought I should like Violet, so I did." "Let me go." "Where was I every day?" Jimmy asked her solemnly. "Out with you. I was never with Violet. Because I knew deep down I preferred being with you." "Only because she rejected you." "And I never spent one day in that garden with her, did I?" Mattie shook her head. No, he had not gone to the garden. "Because Buck was there." "I could have gotten there first, but I didn't. That has to tell you something. Give me a chance, Mattie, please," Jimmy said, putting his hands on her waist, drawing her near once more. "I could have," Mattie said quietly, "before." "Before the fire." Mattie nodded. "Because now you are ruined." "Yes!" "They are only scars," Jimmy told her. "They don't change a person. Hell, I have a few of them myself." He untucked his shirt and unbuttoned it. Then he unbuttoned the top of his long johns. "Stop that!" Mattie exclaimed. "People will see you." Jimmy took her hand and placed it on his bare chest. "See, there's one here." He moved her hand lower. "And one here." "Stop that," Mattie said once more, but her voice held absolutely no conviction. In fact, her traitorous hand ran up and down Jimmy's chest. Jimmy slipped his arms under her bottom and lifted her up so they were face to face. "Please give me a chance." He placed his lips on hers, teasing them into responding. "No," Mattie declared as put her arms around his neck. "Why not?" "Because we'd never work out," she told him as she kissed Jimmy once more "And we can't even try?" "What's the point?" "I don't know," Jimmy said with a smile, "does everything have to have a point? Isn't the way we feel enough?" "We?" Mattie demanded. Jimmy simply looked at her. "We can try," Mattie agreed finally, realizing how ridiculous she sounded. She clearly wanted to be with him, so why bother to continue to deny it. "Only if you promise me," she managed in between heated kisses, "promise me that you will tell me the truth. When you get bored or find someone better, you'll be honest." "Mattie," Jimmy said in a warning tone. "Promise!" "I'm not promising anything as stupid as that." "Then put me back down." Jimmy sighed. "Why are you doing this? Do you want to plan our ending before we even begin?" "No," Mattie replied quietly. "I just want you to promise so I don't have to feel like I am holding you back. Just promise now and I'll never bring it up again." "Fine, okay, I promise," Jimmy conceded. And Mattie stopped speaking and kissed him properly. Drop me a note and let me know what you thought!