Chapter Eleven

She moved him to the hotel the next day. Kid may have let go of his anger with his father, but Christy had far from forgiven Uncle Thomas. She didn’t trust him and wanted Kid near her. Uncle Thomas visited everyday, but Christy made sure he was never alone with Kid for too long. “He’s changed, Christy.” Kid told her one day, as he sat in a rocking chair while she carefully shaved his face. Bathed and clean, he finally resembled the cousin she remembered, although he was still too skinny for her taste. “You may think so, Kid, but I don’t know if I can believe it.” She said lightly. “Don’t you think it’s hard for me, too? I hated him at first. Of all the people to take care of me, it had to be him. But we talked and I believe he’s truly sorry. I’ll never forget what he did to Mama, but you can’t let the past hold you down.” “And you can’t keep putting off the future.” Christy returned. He pretended not to hear her. She laid the razor on the night table and knelt before her cousin. “Let’s go back to Sweetwater, Kid. I want to see the look on Lou’s face when she sees you.” Stubbornly he shook his head and she sighed. “We can’t stay here forever.” “You can’t, I can.” Kid retorted. “Don’t you want to see Lou? Don’t you want to see the way your wife’s eyes light up when she finds out you’re not dead?” Pleading, Christy grasped his hand. “Not like this.” He gestured to his leg. “It’s better if she thinks I’m dead. She can remember me the way I was.” She bristled. “I wish you would quit being so selfish! No one even cares except for you. You say you saw so many horrible things during the war-don’t you want to make up for lost time?” “How?” Kid demanded. “Lou probably hates me. I left her right after we got married. I’ve been gone for four years and when I come back, she’s suddenly stuck with a husband she’ll have to take care of for the rest of her life.” “Lou has thought of nothing except you for the last four years. Do you realize that? She could have moved on or married someone else…but she didn’t. She lives for you and if you’re dead to her, she has nothing to look forward to, no reason to go on. Would you deny her the chance to find you again…to find happiness again?” Christy asked reproachfully. He stared at the floor, scowling. “Please.” She begged softly. “Please come home with me, Kid. I’ve already lost you twice in this lifetime, I can’t do it again.” “Please, Kid, please.” Slowly he nodded. “Alright.” Christy could hardly wait to leave Helena. She was terrified Kid would change his mind. Because of Kid’s leg, they decided the best way to travel would be by train. She sold her horse immediately to pay for the tickets and after much grumbling, Cody did the same. “This means Buck owes me a horse when we get back to Sweetwater.” He was quick to point out. Christy absently agreed. Butterflies arose in her stomach at the mere mention of Buck. She couldn’t wait to see Kid and Lou reunited but she also eagerly anticipated seeing Buck again. They had parted so coldly. She wanted to tell him what a fool she’d been, making him wait all this time before she would marry him. Happily she realized her dream would come true; Kid would be at her wedding after all. The day they left Uncle Thomas met them at the train station to say goodbye. Cody respectfully made himself scarce as the family stood together awkwardly. “Son.” Kid’s father began, then stopped to clear his throat. “I know I made a lot of mistakes and I’ll never be able to make up for that. I just hope you will find it in your heart to put it behind you best as you can and let me try and start over with you.” Christy stared at her uncle stonily while Kid just looked sad. He leaned heavily on his crutches, his blue eyes dark. Christy saw the struggle within him and understood what he was feeling. She knew he was remembering that last horrible night, when Uncle Thomas had pushed Aunt Martha down the stairs. All the beatings and cruel words did not compare to that one moment. Christy could never forgive him and she wondered how Kid could. “Thank you for taking care of me these last few months.” Kid said finally, holding out his hand. Uncle Thomas looked at his son’s hand sadly. “Will you come back to visit?” Kid was quiet, shaking his head a little before gathering the courage to say what he truly felt. “I know you’ve changed and I believe you’re sorry…. But I’m not ready for that, not yet. It would be too hard for me to see you right now, but maybe someday…” Uncle Thomas nodded, accepting Kid’s decision with an expression of melancholy. “If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.” He turned to Christy, started to grab her hand, but thought better of it. “I’m sorry, Christy. I know I don’t deserve it, but I hope someday you will believe me.” She stared at him silently and he bowed his head. “Well, guess I’ll be going. You kids be careful.” The two cousins stood together and watched the man they had once both feared walk away. With his slumped shoulders and glum expression, it was hard to believe he had once been the tyrant that had haunted their dreams for so many years. Christy felt Kid squeeze her hand and she sighed with relief. No matter what, she would never get to the place where she could accept Uncle Thomas back in her life. “You ready?” She asked. He looked at her and smiled weakly. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” “Then let’s get out of here.” Chapter Twelve They parted ways with Cody in St. Louis, where Louisa and the baby were staying with her family. Though anxious to get home to his wife and newborn, his heart was heavy at the prospect of leaving Christy. “I’ll miss you, Billy.” She sniffled, hiding her face in his white shirt. “Of course you will.” He joked, trying to cheer her. “But I have a feeling I’ll be seeing you again real soon. I’m hoping I’m going to have a wedding to attend before long.” Christy grimaced. “If Buck will still have me. I’ve been such a fool.” “Why he better have you! Otherwise I might be tempted to steal you for myself.” He winked and finally got the laugh he had been striving to achieve. Christy and Kid hurried to board the train, leaning out the windows to wave frantically at Cody. He flapped his hat and called after them. “See you soon! Now don’t you elope without me!” The ride to Sweetwater was a quiet one. Kid chewed nervously on his fingers and stared out the window at the passing countryside. Christy attempted to talk to him, but finally gave up and did some thinking of her own. They arrived at the train depot late one afternoon and they quickly rented a buggy from the livery. The final few miles to the station house passed in a blur, both cousins growing increasingly more agitated. Finally they pulled into the dusty front yard. Christy stopped the buggy and for a minute they simply stared at the welcome sight of home. “It’s been so long, Christy.” Kid said, his voice shaking slightly. “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. I could stay in a hotel in Sweetwater tonight and we could do this tomorrow.” “No, we do this now.” She replied firmly. “Besides, it’s too late, we’ve already been spotted.” With sweaty palms, Christy urged the horse forward. Rachel stood on the front porch waving. “She probably thinks you’re Cody.” Christy said with a slight chuckle. As they came closer, Rachel’s welcoming gaze turned to one of shock. Her blue eyes widened and she wiped a hand across them as if she thought she was dreaming. “Kid?” She whispered. Gradually a slow smile spread across her face. “Oh my Lord! Kid! It’s really you! But how? Why?” Her gaze dropped to his missing leg then rose quickly again. Kid ducked his head, afraid of what she would say, but as always, Rachel knew how to smooth things over. “I reckon you can tell me after while. It doesn’t matter why, I’m just glad you’re here.” She reached up to hug him. Just then the front door flew open and the woman Kid had dreamed of for over four years appeared on the porch. No one moved as husband and wife surveyed each other. Kid noticed how long her thick chestnut hair had gotten and how, despite the obvious toll grief had taken on her, she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. A slight twitch developed in Lou’s cheek and her mouth began to move around in an effort to control her emotion. Kid hobbled down from the wagon seat, using his crutch as a brace. He watched for her reaction, more afraid than he had been even during battle. Her luminescent brown eyes took everything in, a slight frown creasing her forehead. Suddenly, she took off running, crashing into Kid so hard she almost knocked him off balance. Lou threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. Stunned that she had accepted him, Kid just stood there for a minute and then he wrapped his arms around her, tears of joy spilling from his eyes. As he inhaled the clean scent of her body, Kid knew he would never again leave his sweet Louise for any reason. Christy watched them from the wagon seat for a minute, smiling. Then she climbed down and as quietly as she could she led the horse to the barn, followed by Rachel. “I don’t know how you found him but I’m glad you did.” Rachel marveled. “The look on her face just then was almost worth everything those two have been through.” “It’s a long story.” Christy sighed. “I think I’m gonna need a bath and some of your good hot stew before I can tell it.” “That can be arranged. What did you do with Cody and Jimmy?” Rachel asked. “We dropped Cody off in St. Louis and Jimmy left us in Arkansas…that’s another long story.” Christy grinned tiredly. She finished feeding the horse and finally summoned the courage to ask Rachel about the one person she had missed more than anything. “Where’s Buck?” Some of the happiness left Rachel’s face and she bit her lip nervously. “Christy…I don’t know exactly how to tell you this…but Buck’s gone.” Christy could feel the blood leaving her face. “What?” She whispered. Rachel looked at her with sympathy. “He left a couple of days after you did. Said to tell you he couldn’t wait any longer.” A deep sorrow filled Christy’s heart. She had taken four years to figure out what she truly wanted, four years to learn that Buck was the only person she loved and wanted. And now it was too late. He was gone. “Christy?” Rachel gently touched her shoulder. Christy looked out into the yard, where she could still see Kid and Lou holding tightly to each other. She had gotten what she deserved. She hadn’t been able to let Jimmy go and now she had lost Buck because of it. Shrugging off Rachel’s hand she walked outside of the barn. She walked and walked, never noticing her surroundings. Finally she stopped under the tree where Buck had erected the little grave marker for Kid. She thought of how much love and care he had put into carving it. Dropping her head to her knees, she cried for the love she had found again and for the one she had lost forever. 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