Rock Creek, Nebraska, July 1861 Chapter 1 “Just a few more miles, Lightning,” Lou whispered to her horse as she galloped across the prairie. The hot July sun beat down on both horse and rider as they closed the gap between the last way station and home. Home. It seemed like it had taken an eternity to get here, a place she could finally call home. A place where she could feel secure enough to let her disguise slip a bit while around the boys who had become family to her. It had been so long since she felt that way about a place or a group of people. The last few years had been filled with struggle and heartache, but since she had signed on with the express, she found more than she had ever dreamed of. She went from an lonely orphan to a sister, a daughter, and maybe even one day soon, a wife. It always came back to him. He was her safe place, even when he annoyed the hell out of her. He loved her fiercely, or at least he did at one time. After she had rejected his proposal all those months ago, things had been uncomfortable and strained between them. He tried to move on with Samantha and she was left in the shadows to watch as he tried to give his heart to another. She knew the pangs she felt in her heart grew from the regret over telling him she wasn’t ready, and the truth was, she wasn’t ready, not then anyway. Now was another story. Ever since their run in with the Pike gang, they had been slowly making their way back to each other. They both wanted to take it slow this time. The last time had taught them to listen to each other and they had been doing just that. He was her safe place once again, and she was his. With news that the express was running out of money, maybe it was almost time for her to drop her disguise permanently and go back to being Louise again. Maybe. She still had that little niggling of fear that she supposed would never go away, even though she knew her biggest nightmare was dead. She had seen his demise before her eyes and while it filled her with relief, she still had to live with what had happened. Kid showed great restraint when she finally confessed all that had happened to her back then. She knew her story was hard for him to hear and yet when she thought he might run away, he stayed. She knew now that things had changed that day, for both of them. Clearing her head of all her errant thoughts, Lou saw Rock Creek on the horizon and shouted to Lightning to hurry. Pulling up to the station and handing off the mochilla to Noah, Lou slid off a now lathered Lightning to see familiar blue eyes that always made her stomach do flips. He was waiting there for her as he always was, except for the few times he was off on a run of his own. His eyes were creased with worry and she tried to read why before asking. “How was your run?” Kid asked. Sweeping her hat from her head, she dragged her sleeve across her forehead, wiping the perspiration from her brow, complaining, “It was ungodly hot out there today!” Tossing her hat onto a nearby bench, she added, “I’m so happy to be back. I could really use a swim in the pond to cool off. Wanna come with me?” Tilting the brim of her tan hat up with a finger, Lou raised her brows, a suggestive look to her eyes. Catching the twinkling gleam in her brown eyes, Kid replied, “You know I do. Tell you what, let’s get Lightning brushed down first and then we can go.” Taking the black stallion’s reins from the hitching post, he started leading Lightning to the coolness of the barn. “Alright, I’m gonna grab something to eat and I’ll be right there. You don’t mind do you?” “Not for my favorite girl, I don’t,” he said grinning back over his shoulder at her. “Hurry back?” She headed to the bunkhouse, pausing at the door to look back at him with a twinkle in her eye and a big grin plastered on her face. After unpacking the few belongings she had taken with her on her run, and sliding out of her jacket, Lou rolled up her sleeves, enjoying the coolness of the air on her sticky skin. It was the hottest weather they had seen since they had moved to Rock Creek with no sign of rain or any cooling. The door opened, and Rachel came in with a platter piled high with sandwiches. “I thought I heard someone back. I figured it was the boys from town. You must’ve made some good time as you weren’t due back for another hour,” Rachel exclaimed. “Kid and I were gonna head out to the pond for a picnic. Do you mind if we take some lunch to go? I’d rather not have to see the boys before we go,” Lou said. Rachel replied, “Have they been giving you two a hard time again?” Rolling her eyes, Lou responded, “Yeah. And they’re only getting worse. I have half a mind to quit and move away just to get some privacy away from their prying eyes. It’s bad enough for me, but I don’t think Kid tells me half of what they say to him.” With that, she grabbed some sandwiches off the table, wrapping them in a napkin, along with her canteen to fill before she and Kid left for the pond. It would be so nice to have some time alone with him without the rest of the boys watching their every move. While she loved them all like brothers, they could also be just as annoying. Between the stares and the constant comments about their late nights in the barn, she and Kid were always glad when they could leave without the rest of them knowing. As she left the porch, Rachel came out behind Lou to remind the two riders, “You better hurry if you want that pond to yourselves. The boys are due back from town any time now and being as hot as it is, you know they are going to be right behind you to the pond. Be careful you two!” Lou was too busy running around the corner with Kid hot on her heels from the barn. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ It was almost dinner time, when Lou and Kid were ambling back from their picnic at the pond. The sun was low in the sky and all the horses were in the corral, an odd thing that no one was out on a run. But, with the rumors that the company was running out of money, it maybe wasn’t so surprising after all. As they meandered their way back, hand in hand, Lou’s face took on a dreamy stare as Kid looked over at her warm brown eyes. She looked back at his face and softly asked, “What?” “Nothin’. It’s just that, well, I could get used to this, you know?” he replied. Lou pondered this for a moment before asking, “You mean the sunset, the picnic,” she paused for a moment before lowering her voice to almost a whisper before adding, “or the swimming?” Kid face flushed a bit on that last word before he responded, “All of it,” as he pulled her into his arms for a kiss. Pulling back from her, he started, “Lou, you know what I want for us, where I hope this is heading.” Seeing her nod in understanding, he continued, “I’m just afraid that, well, nevermind. It doesn’t matter right now.” Seeing his struggle with telling her his feelings, Lou looked up into the eyes that took her away from the world and said, “Kid, you’re right, I do know what you want, because I want that too.” As she pulled away from him to wander ahead of him into the barn, she continued, “I been thinking about that more and more as the express seems to be winding down. The rumors are everywhere that the company’s running out of money and that the telegraph will go all the way to California soon. We’re going to be out of a job.” Settling on a hay bale, Lou motioned for him to join her before suggesting, “Maybe it’s time I go back to being Louise, and give up this whole charade. Problem is, I don’t know how to do that anymore. I’ve spent so much time as Lou, I don’t know if I know how to be Louise again.” Having joined her in the cool interior of the barn, Kid took the seat next to her before putting an arm around her saying, “Maybe we can work on that together. You know I love you just like you are now. I don’t want you to change who you are. You already are Louise. You always have been. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing, you’re still my girl, right?” Lou just melted into his arms and twisted around to pull his face closer to her. As their lips met, small shivers ran down her spine to her toes and Kid pulled her closer into his arms, maneuvering her onto his lap. He moved to deepen their kiss as footsteps were heard from the barn entrance. “Uh, you guys? We got company for dinner tonight. You might want to hurry it up in here. Everyone’s waiting for you,” Buck made his presence known to the pair in the barn. Having spied the two locked in each other’s arms in the corner of the barn, Buck quickly turned and left. As he was strolling away, he added, “Oh, and Lou...they’re here to see you. Claim they’re your relatives. The woman says she’s your grandmother and the guy’s your uncle. We’re all hoping you can tell us if this is true,” Buck added as he strolled away from the barn towards the house. Lou looked curiously up at the blue eyes focused on her before she left the warmth of Kid’s arms and sprinted towards Buck. “What do you mean? People are here for me? What do they want?” she demanded. Kid, catching up to the two, looked curiously at Buck. Buck stopped on the steps to the bunkhouse, turning to look at Lou and replied, “I don’t know. That’s all they would say. Something about Jeremiah and Theresa too.” Lou cast a worried look to Kid before storming past Buck into the bunkhouse to find out exactly what was going on. Flinging open the bunkhouse door, Lou barged her way into the room, immediately drawing the glances of everyone seated at the table. Teaspoon, Rachel, Cody, Noah, Jessie, and Jimmy all turned to look at who stormed into the bunkhouse. There were two other faces that Lou didn’t immediately recognize in her haste, but as her gaze settled on the older woman with the soft grey-brown hair and the warm brown eyes that looked so much like her own, the whisper came from her mouth before she could stop it, “Grandma?” The older woman stood and crossed the room to move closer to the granddaughter she thought she would never see again. Brown eyes gazed into brown eyes as tears formed in both sets of eyes. The older woman pulled the younger woman into her arms as the two softly sobbed into each other’s shoulders. Kid and Buck had just made it into the doorway before they were witness to the family reunion. Teaspoon was the first to speak as he came closer to the embracing women. “I guess that answers that!” he stated and everyone in the room let out a collective sigh with the breath they didn’t realize they were holding. Everyone, that is except Kid. A knot was forming in the pit of his stomach that told him everything was about to change, and not in the way he wanted it to. He knew he just wanted her to be happy, especially given everything she had been through since her mother had died and she had left the orphanage. If she could be happy with these people, he wasn’t going to stand in her way, even if it meant his heart was broken. Studying the tips of his boots on the wood floor, Kid realized he would do what was best for Lou. He would let her go. “Grandma, how did you find me? Where have you been? Why…” Lou stammered as questions swirled through her head. “Louise, it’s a long story. Your mother knew where I was. I also knew what would happen once your mother left your father. She and I worked very hard to get you three children out of that house.” Turning to the rest of the room, and returning to her chair by the fireplace, she continued, “My oldest son, John, was not a nice man. I knew this ever since he was a boy. My husband, Wesley, was also not a nice man. He was very adamant that he would have great influence over his firstborn son, and he made it very clear that I was not to interfere. We had two other sons, which he left to me to raise. Wes was very clear, though that our son, John was off limits. Since John was going to take over the family business one day, Wes wanted to train him himself. Jeremiah and Josiah were mine to raise. I knew my husband wanted to control every aspect of my son’s life, even deciding on who would become his wife. Mary Louise was from a very wealthy family in town and my husband wanted our family connected with hers. He didn’t care that neither John nor Mary cared for each other. Marriage was a business arrangement as far as he was concerned and her father felt the same way. My husband and Mary Louise’s father forced the two of them to marry. Louise was born a few months later. Once the wedding was over, my husband didn’t care what happened to his new daughter-in-law, and really, neither did my son. They had her money, she had produced an heir and even if it wasn’t the son he wanted, John pretty much left her alone. My husband died shortly after Louise was born. While he was alive, he was able to exert some control over John. After his death though, there was nothing that could control John. In the meantime, Mary Louise and I became fast friends. She was like the daughter I never had. I swore to help her protect her children from my son and his illegal business dealings. As soon as we could arrange it, we got her out of there along with Louise and Jeremiah. She was very heavy with child at the time, but Jem and I managed to get the three of them out of there and away from John. Jem, Josiah and I left town at the same time. Mary and I made arrangements to stay away from each other until the day John was dead, in order to protect her and the children. We all knew that he would die by violence since that is how he lived. I just recently found out about his death last year. Jem and I have been searching for Mary and her children ever since. Josiah found Jeremiah and Theresa at the orphanage about a month ago. The sisters there were not sure where Louise was living, and Theresa and Jeremiah were trying to protect their sister by not telling us where she was. Then, one day Theresa gave me one of her letters from Louise and we were able to trace her to Rock Creek. I think, no, I know that those two children miss their sister terribly. And, for that reason, they finally told me where she was.” Lou just looked at the older woman in disbelief. “You knew where we were the entire time, and you did nothing?” she half yelled through her tears. Kid came up beside her and put his hand on her shoulder. She drew comfort from his presence despite the turmoil she felt inside. Theresa returned to her granddaughter, running her hands up and down the younger girl’s arms as she calmly explained, “We did it to protect you from John. We all know what kind of man he was. You know it wasn’t safe with him. You remember him from when you were younger. She would have left much earlier, but… No, it is not my place to tell you the rest. And not here. You need to know, but not here, not now.” Lou was burning with anger and grief and couldn’t believe what she was hearing! Everything from the last few years could have not happened. The orphanage. Wicks. Charlotte. Joining the express. Wicks. Kid. This was all too much to take and with that, she whirled on her heel and sprinted from the bunkhouse leaving everyone staring at her in disbelief. Theresa started to go after her, but Kid stopped her, saying, “Let me go. I’ll bring her back to talk to you. Wait here. Please?” She looked into his pleading blue eyes, and seeing the pain and love in them, decided to trust the young man. Kid turned and ran after Lou. He found her up in the hayloft of the barn. Theresa turned to all the faces watching her from around the room. “I’m sorry for all the upheaval our appearance has caused tonight. You were probably planning a nice dinner and here Jem and I have shown up and ruined it. I am so sorry. I genuinely thought she would’ve been happy to see us.” She sunk slowly into the chair next to her middle son and started to cry. Jem put his arm around his mother and softly consoled her. “It’ll be alright, Mama. She’ll come around. It’s just a lot for her to take in right now. We all, you, me, and Mary all kept a lot from her. She just needs some time. Then we can fill in the rest of the blanks for her,” he softly spoke into her hair. Surveying the scene before her and noting all the stunned faces, Rachel decided she needed to get things a bit back to normal before dinner got cold, or colder than it already was. “Theresa,” she started, “Can you help me get this dinner warmed up? I think we’ll all do much better if we have some dinner first.” Rachel moved over to the crying woman to offer her hand. “Louise is a smart girl, even if she is a bit stubborn sometimes. She’ll understand this, just give her some time. Kid will talk to her.” Rachel paused for a minute before adding in a whisper, “He has a way with her,” as she looked Theresa in the eye, willing her to understand her real meaning behind those words. Theresa looked up at Rachel, then nodded in understanding. The older woman rose from her seat and began collecting the dishes of food from the table to heat up on the stove. As the two women stood next to each other, Theresa, leaned over to Rachel and quietly asked, “How long has this been going on between them?” Rachel softly replied, “Almost since they started with the express, or so I’m told. They were together a while ago. Then they weren’t. But, now they’ve been slowly finding their way back to each other. She leans on him more than she’ll admit and he loves her more than he’ll admit. But, anyone who looks at either of them can see it, even if they can’t yet.” Theresa glanced over at Rachel, catching her eye, and nodded in silent understanding. This was going to be harder than she thought. With all the time that had passed, Theresa reflected, she and Jem might not be able to convince Louise to come with them. Kid found Lou sitting up in the hayloft of the barn, softly crying. After settling himself into the hay, he pulled Lou into his lap and held her in his arms while she cried. He softly whispered into her shoulder-length hair, “Shhhh, it’ll be alright. We can get through this too. I’ll be right by your side, if you want me to be.” Between sobs, Lou stammered, “Why did they have to show up now? Why couldn’t they have just left me alone?” Turning her tearstained face to look at Kid, she continued, “Why did they come?” Looking deep into her eyes, Kid responded, “I don’t know. But, I bet if you ask them, they’ll tell you,” his eyes pleaded with her. “It won’t hurt to just listen to what they have to say. They obviously love you very much and only want what’s best for you.” Just like me, he thought to himself. Lou looked up at him before answering, “I don’t know if I can do this. I tried so hard to leave the past in the past. And, now here it is, right on my doorstep. I’m not sure I want to open that door again.” “Don’t you want to know the rest of the story? You said you wanted to know why they’re here. Why not just listen to them and find out?” he tried to persuade her. Kid paused, watching her face carefully before continuing, “Do you want me to stay with you? I will, if you want me to. But, I think you need to do this alone. I’ll be here, ready when you come back, alright?” Sniffling, Lou replied, “Alright.” Dropping her gaze back to her hands that were now resting in her lap, she softly admitted, “I think you’re right. I do need to hear them out. I just remember what it was like before my mother left. My father wasn’t around all that much, but when he was, it was awful. The last time I saw him, Uncle Jem had been visiting like he always did, but seeing Jem there sent my father into a rage. He tried to hit Mama, like he always did, but Uncle Jem fought him off until he was knocked out. Uncle Jem took Mama, Jeremiah, and me and got us out of there. Grandma helped him hide us away from my father. I haven’t seen either of them since that night.” Pausing, she added, “Maybe it’s time.” Kid held her close and, running his hand along her spine, whispered, “Yeah, I think it is.” Hearing the evenness of her breathing, he surmised she had stopped crying and asked, “You wanna go back now?” “Yeah. They’re probably gonna start looking for us soon anyway. And,” her stomach let out a loud grumble, “I am getting hungry,” she admitted, grinning tearfully. “Me, too. I hope we didn’t miss dinner. Especially since we really didn’t eat much for lunch,” Kid replied, giving his eyebrows a slightly lecherous waggle. “And who’s fault is that?” she retorted, pausing on her way down the ladder to watch him. Seeing his raised eyebrow in an attempt to lay the blame squarely at her feet, Lou scurried down the ladder, waiting for him to join her below. As he met her on the ground, Lou playfully swatted his chest before they slowly walked hand in hand from the barn to the bunkhouse. Upon entering the bunkhouse, Lou and Kid noticed everyone was once again gathered around the table. Cody, Jimmy, Buck, Noah, and Jessie sat on one side of the table, their backs to the door. Teaspoon sat at the end closest to the fireplace, while Rachel sat opposite the station master. And on the last side of the table, sat her Grandmother and Uncle Jem. There were two empty spots immediately next to Jem, for her and Kid. Kid wasn’t sure if she was going to want to sit next to her uncle, so he sat down next to Jem, while pulling her into the chair between him and Teaspoon. Under the table, they kept their fingers entwined as the meal could finally begin. Rachel said grace over their meal, and silently, the boys began passing the various dishes around to load up their plates with the warmed up dinner. Teaspoon started some conversation by asking Jem and Theresa, “So where do you folks call home?” Jem answered first, saying, “We, my brother and Mama and I, started a horse ranch up north. It’s about a day and half ride from here, just outside of Benton. Been in business, oh it must be goin’ on ten years now. We hoped to bring Mary and the children up as soon as we could, but, well…” his words drifted off as his face fell in sorrow. Rachel eyed him curiously as she watched Jem speak. “Mama and I, and Josiah have been pretty successful in our venture. Mama always loved horses and she taught Josiah and I everything we know.” “Benton? Ain’t that where Amanda is, Teaspoon?” Cody asked, his mouth stuffed with mashed potatoes. “Yes, Cody,” Teaspoon ground out, having seen the lack of manners the pale-haired rider was exhibiting. “What’s the name of your ranch?” Buck asked, redirecting the conversation back to the newcomers. “Mariah Lake Ranch,” Jem replied. “We named it after…” Theresa started to say before Lou interrupted, whispering “Mama.” Everyone turned to look at her before she looked back at her food and slowly pushed the food around on her plate. Jem watched her, remembering the way someone else would look when she was pensive. Like mother, like daughter he thought to himself. Noah brought everyone’s attention back to Jem as he commented, “I heard of that ranch. You have a great reputation around these parts. Teaspoon, didn’t we get some horses from them a few months back?” “I do believe we did, Noah. I think the company bought quite a few horses from them for the express to use,” Teaspoon offered. “We’ve had a contract with Russell, Majors, and Waddell for more than two years now. Jem and Josiah were so happy when they got a contract with them. We’d been doing business with them for years before that, but when they were going to start the express, they signed contracts with a few horse ranches across the West to help furnish their operation with horseflesh,” Theresa finished. “I’ve been hearing rumors that the company is running out of money for the express, especially since the railroad is coming along and the telegraph wires almost string clear to California. It’ll be sad to lose the contract, but we have enough other customers to stay busy. And profitable. Plus, with the threat of war looming on the horizon, the Army has been asking around. We are friendly with other ranchers in the area and some are starting to be approached with contracts,” Jem continued. The rest of the riders quietly finished their meal as Theresa and Jem spoke about their ranch. Theresa straightened up suddenly at her son’s mention of the Army. “Oh! I forgot, Jem, an Army man was out at the ranch just before we left. He wanted to speak with you and Josiah but you were both in town with the children. He said he would be back in a few days. Thursday, I believe he said.” Jem sighed at his mother’s announcement. “Mama, we’ll have to leave day after tomorrow if we are going to be back in time to meet him.” The pair exchanged a cautious look. This didn’t leave them much time to convince Louise to come home with them. “I know, Jem, I’m hoping...well. We’ll see,” Theresa fumbled, placing her fork down. In an attempt to change the subject, Theresa announced “This was a delicious meal, Rachel. Thank you so much for letting us stay for dinner. Jem and I should go to the hotel now for the night and leave you all. Would it be alright if we came back tomorrow? Jem and I have a lot to discuss with Louise before we leave.” “Rachel, do you mind if I show them to the hotel tonight?” Lou implored, quietly leaning over to get her friend’s attention. She locked eyes with the station mistress, hoping she would understand her need to see them back to the hotel. “Alright. Do you want one of the boys to come with you? That way you won’t have to walk home alone,” Rachel suggested softly. “Maybe, but…,” Lou stopped. She thought she might be able to spend some time with her grandmother and uncle tonight. Lou knew she wouldn't get any sleep until she heard the rest of the story. Given her grandmother’s unease just a little while ago, Lou was pretty sure that they were hiding something. “How about I send one of them in about an hour to get you, alright?” Rachel added as she got up to begin clearing the dishes from dinner. She had just placed her burden in the sink when she felt someone approaching her. Rachel turned to find Lou standing before her. She leaned closer to the station mistress and whispered, “I don’t think I can wait until tomorrow to talk to them. I wanna ask them some things tonight, otherwise I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight.” “That’s probably wise. You want me to send Kid in a bit?” Lou looked at Rachel’s face with a lopsided smile on her face. “That’s what I thought,” Rachel said, smiling her knowing smile. “Go ahead and get them settled, I’ll send Kid in about an hour. He can wait outside until you’re finished.” “Thanks, Rachel!” was Lou’s quick reply as she ran out the bunkhouse door to where Jem and Theresa waited with their wagon. “Hop in, Louise,” Jem called to her. Lou climbed into the back of the wagon and settled herself for the short journey to the hotel at the other end of town. As the wagon started to pull away in the direction of the hotel, Lou’s eyes locked onto Kid’s as he watched from the bunkhouse porch. Their eyes spoke volumes as Lou felt herself slowly being carted away to discover her fate. As the boys faded from view, she slowly raised her face to gaze upon the stars overhead while a myriad of questions zoomed through her head. What did they want? Why were they here? Why didn’t they take Mama and her with them when they left? Why? Why? Why? Hopefully, her questions were about to be answered. Chapter 2 Lou was so consumed by her tumultuous thoughts, she didn’t realize the wagon had stopped moving. She was vaguely aware that Uncle Jem was helping her Grandmother down from the seat on the wagon. Looking around, she saw they had stopped in front of the livery station where Jem had disappeared inside to make arrangements to house the horses and wagon while they were here. Coming to the realization that her grandmother was standing nearby waiting for her, Lou snapped out of her thoughts and hopped out of the back of the wagon. “So, you still like horses, I hear,” Theresa softly asked her granddaughter. “Yeah,” Lou replied, scuffing the toe of her boot in the dirt. “I remember riding with you when I was little, before… well, before.” Lou paused for a moment before glancing up at the woman in front of her. “I remember you explaining how to choose a good horse. That helped me when I bought Lightning. I remembered all you told me when I picked him out,” she continued. “I assume Lightning is your horse?” Theresa asked. “Yeah. He’s been with me since I left the orphanage, well a little while after. Once I had enough money to buy him,” Lou continued, uncertainly. She wasn’t sure how much of the last few years she wanted to share with her long lost family. Maybe it was time. She had told Rachel and then Kid about Wicks. Maybe she should tell Grandma too. Lou looked over at Theresa as she scrutinized her granddaughter’s face. Watching the array of emotions play across her granddaughter’s face, Theresa knew there was more to her granddaughter’s story. By her reticence, she knew Lou was leaving some things out. She only hoped that the poor girl would open up to her, eventually. Given some time, Theresa hoped to better understand the young woman who now stood before her. By that time, Jem had joined the two women and suggested they make their way to the hotel. Retrieving her glasses from her shirt pocket and donning them, Lou led the way into the lobby. She lowered the tone of her voice, asking Otis if they had two rooms for the night. Theresa eyed her granddaughter curiously as she watched her transform into a more boyish mein before she informed the clerk that only one room was necessary. They could share since it was only for two nights. Otis had Jem sign the book for the night, and once the room was paid for, handed them the key. Grabbing the bags, Jem led the two women upstairs to the room for some much needed privacy. Opening the door, Jem held the portal open for his mother and niece, ushering them into the room. The two women entered the room and Jem closed the door behind the three of them. Jem placed the two bags on the bed as Theresa sat in one of the two chairs in the room. She motioned for Lou to join her in the other chair, while Jem preferred to stand behind his mother’s chair. He knew what they were about to tell Louise would be a lot for the girl to absorb, but he was tired of running, hiding, and lying. If this is what it took to have his family back together, then it couldn’t happen soon enough for him. Lou sat on the edge of her chair, looking back and forth between her grandmother and her uncle, waiting for them to start in the awkward silence that hung between them. Slowly, her grandmother began, “Louise, I’m sure you have a lot of questions. Jem and I want to answer every question you have. But, I think, for right now, it would be best if we talk and you just listen. I hope we can answer many of your questions just by telling you what really happened all those years ago and more recently. Is that alright with you, darling?” Lou looked from her grandmother to Uncle Jem and back and just nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. She was afraid if she opened her mouth, she would start crying again, and she just couldn’t do that yet. Not until she knew everything and could let go of her emotions in the safety of Kid’s strong arms. Theresa nodded in return and began her story: Your grandfather and I had been friends with the McClouds for what seemed like forever. We had gotten married within a few years of each other, had children within a few years of each other. Your grandmother, Margaret and I were best friends before we were married and when we married best friends and business partners, we couldn't have been happier. John was born about a year after I married your grandfather, with Jem and Josiah soon after. Margaret had your mother, Mariah, about a month after Josiah was born. Margaret and I were inseparable. For a while, we would spend time together with all of the children, talking about life and watching our children grow together. Then Wes, your grandfather, decided that your father, John should spend all of his time learning the business. Against my wishes, Grandfather took over John's schooling, hiring a private tutor and sequestering him away from the rest of the family. Around this time, I started to suspect that something wasn’t right with the business, as Wes had become more secretive regarding business matters. It wasn’t until much later that I realized he had pulled John into his illegal activities. Despite all the uneasiness, Margaret and I continued to bring the rest of the children together, minus John. Mary Louise and Jem were always thick as thieves when they were together, with Josiah trying to keep up with them. As the years passed, John became more and more distant from me and his brothers, and we could see the anger building up inside of him. Whether it was from resentment or jealousy, I don’t know, but it was there. Many years had passed, and John was now running the business with Wes and Ethan. Margaret approached me one day to inform me that her husband, Ethan, wanted a formal alliance with our family. His plan was to have Mary Louise marry John once she was old enough. Margaret was worried how your mother would handle this since Mary always said she would only marry for love. Margaret and I suspected that Mary may have already had her eye on someone, and we even suspected who it was, so we had to find a way to help Mary. Marrying John was not going to be an option, we were going to make sure of that. I had seen the looks my younger son was giving Mary when he thought she wasn’t looking. And on a few unguarded occasions, I saw the same looks from Mary towards my son. Margaret and I knew we needed to help them before our husbands or John found out about them. Little did we know that our star-crossed children were working on their own plan. A plan that unfortunately wasn’t to be. Ethan found out about Mary and her secret beau and ordered her locked in her room with no visitors until after the wedding. Margaret tried to get her out of the house but Ethan ended up putting guards around the house until the morning of the wedding. And so Mary married John, trying to put on a strong face while inside her heart was broken. Six months later, you were born. John suspected when you were born and the midwife announced you were strong and healthy, that you might not be his child. Margaret and I already knew the truth, but decided to stay silent. What would have come from our saying anything? Nothing but more pain and heartbreak. Margaret and I, and Jem and Josiah, decided to keep a constant watch over Mary and her baby. John’s anger knew no bounds after that. A few years later, Jeremiah was born, Mary was insistent that he be named after his uncle. John raged around the house for a few days, but since Mary had given him a son, he finally relented. By the time she was expecting Theresa, and following Margaret’s death, Jem came to me and told me he had to get Mary out of there, no matter what it cost him. The safety of Mary and his children were all that mattered anymore and he would stop at nothing to see that John couldn’t harm any of them again. So you see, Louise, Jem loved your mother more than anything else in the world. It broke his heart to see the woman who should have been his wife, married to his brother. A brother, mind you who cared little for anyone else besides himself. Jem was always there when Mary needed him, and despite his brother, loved her with all his heart. As Theresa finished her story, Lou sat there in stunned silence. The man she thought was her father, was really her uncle? That couldn’t be right, could it? Uncle Jem had always been there for her when she thought back on her life before she and Mama left. He had always been more of a father to her than her own father had been. Wait, what? “Wait a minute. So, you’re telling me that John Boggs is not my father? And he never has been?” She paused for a minute, standing from her seat. As Lou started pacing across the room, she turned her gaze to her uncle before she continued, “And you’re not Uncle Jem, but really my…. I can’t...I don’t...I...What about Jeremiah and Theresa? Are they my half siblings? Why did you leave us? Oh my God! WHY?” she shouted. The fragile hold she had over her emotions had broken and the tears flowed freely down her cheeks. “You and Mama?” she asked in disbelief, pausing her walking to stare at Jem. Lou raised her eyes to the ceiling as she resumed her frantic movement. Upon reaching the door, she paused and grabbed the knob, contemplating her escape from her new reality. Leaning against the door for support instead, she felt the smooth wood against her palms and forehead as the reality of everything hit her. “Thank God! He was just so awful, how could he be?” Lou mumbled against the portal, surprised over the sense of relief she felt washing over her. She continued her quiet rambling to herself as tears coursed down her cheeks when she felt a pair of strong arms fold around her trembling body. Jem had moved from his place behind Theresa’s chair to comfort his daughter. It was the very first time he had been able to acknowledge that she was his daughter and not his niece. This was what Mary had wanted all those years ago. He was stunned when she told him she was with child on what ended up being their last night together before her father found out about them. Now all he could think about was holding the daughter he never got to know and helping her through all the secrets and lies they had to tell to keep his girl safe. Her body shuddered with tears as she turned in his arms and hugged him for the first time. Slowly, she pulled away from him to look up into his eyes. As tearstained face gazed into tearstained face, Lou saw all the love and pride reflected back at her in her father’s eyes. Theresa came over to join them by putting her arms around her son and granddaughter. The three stood there, releasing all the anger and frustration and loss that had built up between them all those years ago. The walls were down and Louise was welcomed home, to the first home that truly mattered. After what seemed like an eternity and mere seconds at the same time, the three gently pulled apart and resumed their original spots by the room’s chairs. Theresa was the first to break the silence. “I know this is a lot to take in right now, but do you have any questions?” she queried her granddaughter. Lou looked into her tear filled eyes before whispering, “Why did you tell me this now?” After a brief pause, Jem answered his daughter, “Louise, we wanted you to know for the longest time. Your Mama was supposed to tell you after we got her away. I guess she never did. I am so sorry for that. We didn’t know where you were and the nuns at the orphanage were no help.” Lou nodded her understanding, informing them, “Mama only told me that my father was a good man and to not believe that everything was really as it seemed. She didn’t make a lot of sense when she told me all that, but Theresa had just been born and she was very sick. I think now that she was so broken-hearted over leaving you that she just couldn’t keep going.” She slumped back into her chair and let out a long sigh in resignation. “I blamed him for a long time for her death, and maybe that’s true. But if he’s not really our father, why would he try to find us then?” “What do you mean, Louise? Why would who try to find you?” Jem asked. “Boggs. I mean John. He took Jeremiah and Theresa from the orphanage about a year ago claiming to be their father. I tracked him down and with some help from the other riders, we brought them back. I didn’t know. How could I not have known?” she asked, shaking her head as she remembered all that had happened last year. “Known what? That he wasn't really your father?” Theresa asked, leaning forward to grasp her granddaughter’s hands. “How could you have known any different? No one had told you anything to the contrary.” “But, when we got back to the orphanage, I told them that John wasn’t our father and told them just what Mama wanted me to tell them.” She paused for a moment, running her hands through her cropped hair. “Do they know the truth now? Jeremiah and Theresa?” Lou asked. “We thought we would tell you first and then the three of us could tell them together. They know that I am their grandmother. We felt we had to tell them that much,” Theresa responded. “Is there anything else?” Lou shook her head. “Wait,” she stopped. “Why are you here now?”she asked suspiciously. Jem traded a quick glance with his mother then looked into Louise’s eyes before saying, “We were hoping you would want to come home with us. You wouldn’t have to work anymore, unless you wanted to around the ranch. I missed almost your entire life, Louise. I want to get to know my daughter before she leaves me to start her own family. I would love nothing more than to spend time with you like we used to.” Seeing her raised brow, he amended, “Well, maybe not exactly like we used to since you’re much older now. But, I want to make up for lost time. Do you think you might want to do that?” Lou looked into her father’s eyes, and could see him pleading with her to come with him. Part of her wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and never look back. But, then she thought about blue eyes and strong arms and felt conflicted. Where did she truly belong? She wasn’t sure exactly where things were going with Kid, but she had a good idea. On the other hand, here was her father, her real father, asking her to come with him. She had always loved Uncle Jem, now she knew why. Even though she now had answers, she knew she was not going to sleep very much tonight. Lou looked over at the clock on the nightstand. They had been here for more than two hours. Kid was probably waiting outside for her. She looked between her father and grandmother and said, “Can I think about it? This is a lot to take in all at once. I’m not really sure about anything right now, except that it’s late, and I really need some sleep.” She stood from her chair and strode over to the door. “Will we see you tomorrow, Louise?” Theresa asked, nervously, rising from her seat. Jem followed behind his mother, his hand draped on the older woman’s shoulder. “Of course, you did say you were coming over, aren’t you? I’m sure Rachel will be expecting you for lunch,” was Lou’s sleepy reply. Jem walked over to give her a hug before she left for the night. “Goodnight, my darling girl. I love you, sweetie. Sleep well!” he whispered into her hair while he held her in his arms. Quietly slipping out of his embrace, Lou reached for the knob, opening the door slightly. “Good night,” she whispered as she passed through the doorway into the hallway, closing the door behind her with a soft click. Carefully, making her way through the dark hallway and down the stairs, she walked through the lobby and out onto the hotel’s porch. Looking from side to side, she spied Kid sitting on a bench by one of the windows, waiting for her just where she knew he would be. She meandered over to where he sat, seemingly deep in thought, his elbows resting on his knees, his head in his hands. Feeling her hand rest gently on his shoulder, his head snapped up as he realized she was standing next to him. “Hey,” he said to her. “Hey,” was her reply. “You alright?” “Yeah. ..I think so,” she said with a slight crease of her brow. “You wanna talk about it?” Kid asked as he rose from his seat on the bench. “Maybe. Probably...:” Slowly, they started walking down the center of the street towards the way station at the other end of town and the bunkhouse. “Kid,” Lou paused as she was walking. “Do you ever think about the future? Wonder where we’ll all be when the express ends? Where we’ll be five years from now?” Kid stopped walking to look at her, wondering where she was going with this. “Sometimes...I think we all do. It might not be too much longer before we have to make choices that can affect...others.” Lou looked up at him before walking again. Kid followed at her side, their hands barely brushing against the other’s as they walked side by side. “They asked me to go home with them tonight,” she said quietly as they strolled in the sultry night air. Kid’s heart started pounding in his chest. He took a sharp breath as he realized what her words might mean. “Will you go?” he asked tentatively, unsure if he was ready for her answer. “I don’t know,” was her soft reply. He reached for her hand, cradling it in his own as they walked the rest of the way home in silence, not caring who saw them. Chapter 3 Lou fell into a fitful sleep once she retired to the bunkhouse for the night. Kid had reluctantly released her hand as she climbed into her bed and he retreated to his own. He lay awake, watching her toss and turn in her sleep into the wee hours of the morning. Thoughts raced through his mind, preventing his body from falling onto the sleep he so desperately needed. Could he let her go if she left with them? Where would he be without her? He was so afraid of scaring her off like last time, but things were so different this time. They were both more open with each other, more trusting. He knew there was more to what happened tonight,and if he was patient, she would tell him. Sometime as the first rays of light were just peeking over the horizon, Kid drifted off to sleep, his mind finally coming to some decisions and thus allowing him the rest he needed. When he woke the next morning, Lou was not in her bunk. He wandered out of the bunkhouse and saw her on the porch with Rachel, sipping tea no doubt, as they both rocked in the chairs on her porch. Better to leave her alone for now, she needs to get used to it, he thought as he headed back to bed for a few more minutes of shuteye. Meanwhile, Lou and Rachel were ensconced in deep conversation on the porch, mugs of freshly brewed tea in their hands. Lou was wrapped in a quilt from her bunk and Rachel had her shawl pulled around her shoulders in defense against the chilly morning air. “They told you that last night?” Rachel asked incredulously. Lou nodded as she added, “I believe them. He always was more of a father to me than my own was. Or at least who I thought was my father. I don’t know, Rachel, everything seems to make more sense now. Why Jem was always around us, especially when my...John, was in town. Why Mama was always so sad once we left. Why she said some of those cryptic things to me. It just makes sense.” “What do you want to do? Rachel asked tentatively. She knew this was not going to be an easy decision for Lou. She knew Lou always wanted a family and was hoping to have one with Kid someday and, after many conversations on the subject, she knew how Lou felt about Kid. But, the pull of her father, grandmother, and siblings might just be too much for her to ignore. Lou’s reply came slowly and softly, “I don’t know, Rachel. You know how I feel about Kid. But this is my family. And you and Teaspoon and the boys are my family too. I feel like I owe it to myself, and to them to try to make this work. But leaving Kid will be the hardest thing I ever had to do. I don't know if I can do that.” She sipped her tea, a tear slipping down her cheek, and stared out across the landscape as she weighed her options. “If I leave, I can drop the disguise. I can be a girl again, let my hair grow out again, wear dresses again. I didn’t realize how much I missed them until I couldn’t wear them. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder, doesn’t it?” She paused as the two women let out a chuckle. “But I would miss riding with the boys, and listening to them bicker about everything. I would miss Teaspoon and his hard-to-decipher advice. I would miss this,” she paused to motion between herself and Rachel. “And I would miss him. God, I would miss him so much” At this her eyes began to well up with tears in earnest. Rachel reached out her hand to gently rub the young woman’s shoulder before she said, “Maybe he’ll come after you. You know, deep down in your heart, how he feels about you. I can’t see him willingly letting you go that easily. This will be hard on him too, but he wants to give you space to make up your mind without him clouding things up.” Lou nodded in response as she sipped her tea. She stared off unseeingly across the prairie. “The thing is, I don’t have too much time to decide. They have to leave tomorrow morning, so I really need to decide today if I’m going to pack up all my things in time to leave tomorrow,” she pondered. “I just keep circling back to giving them a chance. I feel like I owe them that much. I owe it to myself to try. I want to get to know them better. They were my whole world when I was little and then everything changed one day. I don’t want to miss this chance.” “It sounds to me like you’ve already made up your mind,” the station mistress commented. “When are you going to tell him?” Rachel asked, watching her friend carefully over the rim of her mug. “Soon,” was Lou’s tearful reply. “Do you think he’s up yet? Maybe I should just get it over with.” She leaned back into the chair, looking and feeling defeated. “He’s up. He was just out here a few minutes ago, probably looking for you. He went back inside after he found us sitting up here. I reckon you could tell him before Theresa and Jem get here for lunch. Or would you rather take a picnic to the pond and tell him there. I can pack lunch for the two of you, then you can take all afternoon with your goodbyes,” Rachel gently suggested. “I think the picnic sounds like a good idea, Rachel. Let me send a note to the hotel, letting Grandma and Jem know what’s going on. Then, I’ll get Kid and we can go. Thanks, Rachel,” Lou said as she stood, draining the contents of her mug before placing the empty vessel into Rachel’s outstretched hand. Wrapping the quilt around her shoulders, Lou trudged down the steps from the porch and headed to the bunkhouse, dreading what she was going to have to say to the one person she couldn’t live without. An hour later, Kid and Lou were atop Katy and Lightning and were heading out towards the pond, their picnic lunch in tow, along with the quilt from Lou’s bed. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Jem and Theresa were just leaving the hotel to head towards the way station when the hotel clerk stopped to give them a note. Theresa quickly opened it and scanned its contents. Her face relaxed and a smile formed across it as she looked up at her son. “It’s from Louise. She’s coming with us!” she said. Jem returned his mother’s grin with one of his own. “She says she’ll come with us, but she has something she has to take care of before she leaves, so she won’t be at lunch this afternoon.” Theresa paused to look at her son, not sure how he would take the news that his daughter was in love. “It is probably that young man she was with last night.” “Mama, there were a lot of young men there last night, you’ll have to be more specific,” Jem retorted. Nothing was going to disrupt his good mood today. Theresa knew she had to tread carefully with her next words, since her son appeared as clueless as her husband had been with regards to the relationship between Jem and Mary. “Jem,” she said as they walked out onto the hotel porch, “The boy who followed her to the barn last night and the one who was right behind her when she arrived home. He looks at her the same way you used to look at Mary. And I can tell she feels the same way for him.” Jem just stared dumbfounded at his mother. “Do you think she’s in love? That’s ridiculous, she’s just a girl!” Jem said to his mother with amazement. “Jem, she’s eighteen. Do I need to remind you how old Mary was when you and she fell in love? She was about Louise’s age. It’s not impossible. In fact, I know it to be true. I bet if you ask Rachel about them today, you’ll find out what’s going on between our Louise and her young man. She as much as told me so last night,” Theresa informed her son. Throwing up his hands in defeat, Jem turned towards the busy street. “Alright, I give up. Let’s go! I’m hungry and I would like to get to know these people my daughter has been living with for more than a year now,” Jem said as they started walking down the street. They arrived at the way station just as the boys were heading in for lunch. “Hey, Jem, good to see you again today,” Cody shouted on his way to the bunkhouse. He got to the door before the visitors, and held the door open for Theresa and Jem. Rachel was inside getting everything ready for the group to have lunch. Lou and Kid were noticeably absent. “Hey, Rachel! Where are Kid and Lou? Aren’t we going to wait for them for lunch,” Jessie asked. He hadn’t seen Lou all day and was a bit worried about her. “For your information, Jessie, Kid and Lou are having a picnic by the pond today. So, no they won’t be joining us,” Rachel responded. “And furthermore, I do not want any one of you going out by the pond any time today, do I make myself clear?” she firmly added, pointing a warning finger to the rest of the riders. Theresa tossed Jem a look that said, “See? What did I tell you?” before she looked back and addressed Rachel, “Lunch looks delicious, Rachel. How can I help you?” She made her way over to the stove to help Rachel finish serving lunch while Jem headed to the table with the boys and Teaspoon. He barely caught Cody’s remark about moony looks before Teaspoon shot him a warning glance. “So, Teaspoon, how long have you guys been here in Rock Creek? I thought the pony express didn’t come through here,” Jem asked the head of the station. Jimmy responded first, though, “We came here about six months ago. Been in Sweetwater before that. There was a way station outside of town, but there was trouble in town with free-staters and the old way station got burned down. Kid and I were sent here first to set up a new station before the rest of us ended up moving here and Teaspoon became marshal.” Teaspoon added, “Been here ever since.” Pausing, he added, “I think we’re all kinda wondering the same thing, but since no one here is going to come right out and ask, I will. What do you want with our Louise? Why are you here?” Teaspoon levelled a pointed glare at Jem, drawing the eyes of all the boys to the newcomers. Curiosity was written on all their faces. Theresa looked at Jem as she and Rachel started passing plates of sandwiches around the table. Jem let out a sigh and started, “You might as well know. Louise is my daughter. Her mother and I fell in love a long time ago, before she was promised to my older brother. The night I found out she was with child was the last time I saw her before the wedding. Mary was forced to marry my brother by her father despite her wishes not to. I did my best to look after Mary and our children before I got them away from my brother. Everything was a mess for a long time. My mother and Mary’s mother knew the truth. Once my brother found out, he just snapped. It wasn’t safe there for Mary or the children, so Mama and I got them out and hid them away from my brother. Once he died, we could find them again. I am trying to reunite my family. Jeremiah and Theresa are already at the ranch with Josiah. We came here with the hopes of bringing Louise home with us.” Theresa finished her son's statement by adding, “Louise sent us word this morning that she has decided to come home with us. If I guess right, she is off breaking the news to a certain young man.” Rachel confirmed her suspicions with a nod. Buck looked around at everyone before settling on Jem. “She’s really leaving with you tomorrow?”Buck said sadly. At Jem’s nod, Cody added, “I am not looking forward to Kid’s moping once she leaves. It’s bad enough when they’re together. I’m not looking forward to them being apart!” Teaspoon, again looked sternly at the pale rider, “Cody, would you be quiet for once!” All the boys looked a bit sad as everyone continued to eat their sandwiches. Rachel broke the silence by asking the boys to share their favorite stories about Lou with her father and grandmother. Jessie talked about the time he tried to steal her horse before he discovered she was a girl. Jimmy shared his surprise over Lou’s career choice when she worked as a saloon girl to find out who had killed the previous employee, drawing unhappy looks from Jem and Theresa. Buck regaled everyone with the adventure to find Pike and his gang and how Kid nearly lost it when he saw her tied to that cross. Theresa glanced at her son’s face upon hearing that her granddaughter had been captured and was held for ransom. She noticed the furrowed brow and the slight tick in Jem’s clenched jaw. Cody ended the story time with how Teaspoon finally figured out that Lou was in fact Louise. Everyone howled with laughter over that one, although Teaspoon was a bit uncomfortable under Jem’s glare. The boys were soon talking and sharing stories with the two visitors until Teaspoon announced that they needed to get back to their chores. With that, the boys scattered around the way station, Jessie returned to the blacksmith, Teaspoon started walking back to his office with Jem in tow and Rachel and Theresa stayed behind to clear the lunch dishes and chat. “So, Rachel, tell me about Kid. What’s he like?” Theresa asked Rachel, figuring direct was probably the best approach here. Rachel looked over at the older woman and sighed. “Kid is as good as they come. He has a heart of gold and is always concerned about doing the right thing. Both he and Louise had a tough life before they joined the express and they seemed to see a lot of themselves in the other. He’s fiercely protective of Louise, which sometimes gets to her. But anyone who looks at the two of them can see how much they adore the other.” Theresa pondered the station mistress’s words before she asked, “How long have they been together? Is it serious?” Rachel realized Theresa was trying to figure the nature of the relationship between her granddaughter and the Southern rider. Heaving a sigh, she contemplated the older woman’s interest. “Where do I start? Those two have a bit of a complicated story, but they always come together in the end. Teaspoon and I thought they were headed that way before you two showed up. I think we all thought they would get married eventually.” Theresa pondered her words before she proceeded, “He loves her, doesn’t he?” “And she loves him. She was up early this morning on my porch to talk about things, mainly him. Like I said, she always comes back to him,” Rachel informed her new friend. “And yet, she’s willing to leave him to come live with us. Why do you think that is?” Theresa asked, her brow knit together in puzzlement. Rachel blew out a breath before she answered. “I think she’s hoping to reconnect with the two of you. And, that Kid will come after her when he is ready, if he can forgive her for leaving. We had a long talk about that this morning.” Handing the wet dish to Theresa, Rachel dried off her hands before she continued, “Theresa, can I be honest with you?” She turned to face her guest with her arms folded across her chest. “Of course.” Theresa stopped drying dishes to look at Rachel. “I think you and I are going to be in for some turmoil in the weeks ahead. Both Kid and Lou are going to be hurting from their separation. Between you and me, I think we may have to help them along a little bit. They are both as stubborn as a mule and are so afraid of getting hurt that they may just fall apart in front of us.” Rachel turned back to the soapy dishes and began scrubbing again. Theresa placed the now dry dish down on the table before quietly asking, “How close have they been?” Taking a deep breath, Rachel explained, “They rushed into things a bit the first time they were together. The closer they got the more overprotective Kid got and the more resistant Lou got. He was afraid of what might happen to her, so he proposed to her, twice according to Lou. Each time, she told him she wasn’t ready for all that and finally they broke up. He immediately started seeing someone from town and she had to watch him. It was difficult on all of us, but especially on Lou. She retreated into herself for a while before she was able to get it together and go back to being herself. But her sadness was always there. His was too. Then the whole escapade with Pike happened and they were different with each other. We could all see the change between them. They slowly started moving back to each other. They have grown a lot since the first time. But this is different. I’ve never seen two people who are more suited to each other. This separation will be hard on them both. And, all of those around them.” She hung her head in sadness. Theresa moved to stack the dry dishes onto the table before moving them onto the shelf and returning to her new friend’s side. “Rachel, I have seen two people who love each other be separated when they should have been together. If there is anything I can do to prevent a permanent separation between my granddaughter and Kid, I will do that. There has been enough suffering in this family. And I know that Jem would agree with me. He just wants to see his daughter happy. Do you think Kid will come after her once she is living with us?” Theresa asked. “I do. When they were apart before, they were both miserable. I expect that again, but probably worse. Talk to Louise once you get her home and settled. She’ll eventually open up to you. Just give her time,” Rachel suggested. “In the meantime,” Rachel continued, “we may have to write to each other to keep informed on how they are both doing. I am sure Lou will write to Kid as soon as she is settled, but if she doesn’t, maybe suggest it to her. I will do the same with Kid.” “I think that sounds like a plan, Rachel. Now, if I could just get my son to realize his daughter is all grown up. He still sees her as his little girl, the one who left home ten years ago. I keep reminding him she is not eight-years-old any more.” With that, the dishes were cleaned and Theresa left for the hotel. Rachel returned to the house to start on her afternoon chores. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Lou was in no hurry to get to the pond that afternoon, so she was moving along at a surprisingly slow pace for Kid. He knew something was bothering her and he knew it involved him. Deep down he knew what she was going to say and he wasn’t sure he was ready to hear it. She was going to tell him she was leaving. Leaving the way station. Leaving the express. Leaving him. He knew he had to let her go, and knew it was going to hurt when she left, but all he kept thinking was ‘Why am I not enough?’ He watched her make her way to the secluded pond, slide down Lightning’s side onto the ground and grab the quilt she had rolled up on the back of her saddle. As she started laying the quilt out along the shore of the pond, he quietly dismounted Katy and brought the sandwiches and canteen Rachel had given him before they left. Lou kicked off her boots, peeled her socks off, and rolled her pants up before wading into the shallows of the pond. Kid dropped the sandwiches on the quilt before removing his own boots and socks and joined her. For as chilly as it was this morning, it sure was hot now. Kid looked over at her as she gazed up at the sun with her eyes closed. He loved the way the sunlight played with the glints of red in her hair and how she looked so peaceful as she stood there with her toes in the cool water and her face in the sun. If she could only see how beautiful she looked at this moment. He thought his heart might burst for a second with how much he loved this woman! This woman who would be gone from his life tomorrow. “You ready for lunch?” he asked quietly, drawing her out of her reverie. “Sure” she replied, a tinge of sadness in her voice. She walked over to him through the shallow water and put her arm around his waist, pulling him towards her. “I wish we could stay here in this moment forever,” she said softly into his chest. He brought his free hand up to gently nudge her chin up to look at him while his other arm wrapped snugly around her waist. “Me, too,” he replied with just the barest hint of a whisper as his lips gently touched hers. Lou melted into his kiss just like she always had, but there was something different this time. As she pressed her lips more firmly to his, her mouth slightly parted allowing him access to the depths of her heart. His lips moved down her cheek to that delicate spot below her ear that made her toes curl and sent shivers down her spine, kissing his way down her neck. “Kid,” she moaned breathlessly as he began to unbutton her shirt. Her hands were already at the last of his buttons and she was pulling his shirt off. Buttons finished, her shirt was peeled off, only to find her bindings firmly in place. She was pulling him closer to her, needing to feel his skin on hers. Her mouth hungrily sought his as their passion threatened to consume them. Breaking their kiss, Kid quickly pulled his long john shirt over his head tossing it with the other shirts. His hands found the ties of her binding and began quickly untying the knot that kept him from what he wanted. He needed to feel all of her one last time before he said goodbye to her. Her kisses and roving hands told him she wanted the same. Soon the binding cloth was gone as were the rest of their clothing as Kid lay himself next to Lou on her quilt, the sandwiches forgotten. Their kisses continued as his hands roamed along the length of her body and hers followed a similar path along his. “Are you sure, Lou” he whispered in her ear. “Stop talking, Kid. Make me yours again,” was her breathless reply. Kid rolled her on top of him as he continued to plunder her mouth with his as his hands continued the welcome assault on her body. She groaned as she felt his hard, maleness pressed between their glistening bodies and begged him for more. He rolled them over, nestling himself between her creamy thighs as he gazed into her eyes. They were filled with tears, but so were his. Lou looked up into his clear, blue eyes and saw all the love he felt for her shining back at her. He slowly entered her body and she closed her eyes and felt like she was home. She held onto him as tightly as she could as he began to move inside her. At that moment, their hearts and souls were entwined as one as she felt her release coming. “Kid, stay with me this time, please,” she begged him into his ear. “I love you, Lou. I’ll never leave you,” was his ragged reply. Later, they lay entwined on the quilt staring into each other's eyes for what might be the last time. Arms and legs a tangled mess under the half of the quilt that was thrown across their legs. “You’re leaving tomorrow, aren’t you?” Kid asked sadly. “You don’t have to say it, I can see it in your eyes.” “Kid, I feel like I have to give them a chance. Remember back to the whole incident when my brother and sister were taken from the orphanage?” “Yeah, how can I forget. I shot your father,” he said sadly. “I know you forgave me a long time ago, but I still feel bad about it.” “That’s the thing, Kid. I found out last night that he was my uncle, not my father. Jem is my real father. He and my mother were in love before she was forced to marry who I thought was my father. She was already with child when she married him. Jem was protecting us the only way he knew how. My Grandma knew the truth and when John found out the truth, he snapped. Mama was carrying Theresa at the time and Jem knew he had to get us out of there before his brother killed us all. That was the last time I saw them before yesterday. I want to get to know them again, but I don’t want to lose you. I love you.” she whispered with tears in her eyes. “Leaving you tomorrow will be the hardest thing I ever have to do. Please don’t stay away too long. Please come and find me. And promise me you’ll write to me. I’ll write to you. I only hope Grandma and Jem understand that I won’t be able to stay there forever.” “I promise, Lou,” Kid replied as he pressed his lips to the tips of her fingers. She snuggled closer into his arms and started moving her lips along his throat on her way up to his mouth. He stifled her giggle with another kiss as he pushed against her until she lay underneath him again. “Before we get to all that, I want to say goodbye again.” Lou giggled as he began kissing her behind her ear, moving his hands all over her again. Lunch was once again forgotten. The sun was setting as the two started dressing and packing up the remains of their picnic so they could head back to the way station. “I need to pack up my stuff for tomorrow when we get back. Wanna help me?” she asked a pensive Kid. “How about I just keep you company?” was his sad reply. “Sounds good to me,” Lou said as she came over to press another kiss to his warm lips. “Is it selfish of me to want to take you with me?” she said as she gazed into his eyes again. “Although, I’m not sure anyone would understand my reasons for bringing you with me.” “I don’t know. I think your grandmother would see right through you. But,I’m not sure how Jem would react to his little girl bringing a boy along with her. Might not sit right with him. In fact, I know it wouldn’t sit right with him. If I had a daughter and she insisted on bringing some boy home with her, I sure as hell wouldn’t want him to stay. Not unless he married her. And even then, I still probably wouldn’t like it,” Kid mused out loud while he held Lou in his arms. “We need to get back.” “Do you really think he won’t like you?” Lou asked as she walked towards her horse. “Why would you think that? He would love you! I know I do.” she replied saucily over her shoulder. Coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her narrow waist, he whispered into her ear, “I don’t know any father who would approve of what I just did to his daughter.” Kid’s lips found their way to Lou’s earlobe where he found exactly what he was looking for. She squirmed in his grasp but made no motion to move away from him. Instead, she snuggled herself deeper into his arms, enjoying his playful ministrations on her ear and neck. Once everything was packed up and stowed away on Katy and Lightning, Kid and Lou slowly made their way back to the waystation. Lou set to packing her meager belongings into her trunk while Kid tried to ready himself for her imminent departure. She convinced him to spend their last night snuggled together in the hayloft of the barn, rising with the sun to sneak back into the bunkhouse to await the arrival of Theresa and Jem with the wagon that would take her to her new home. Chapter 4 Everyone at the way station was ready and waiting on the porch of the bunkhouse when Jem and Theresa rolled the wagon into the station yard. Lou’s trunk and carpet bag were secured in the back of the wagon and Lightning was brought out from the barn, awaiting her mistress’s arrival which would signal their departure. Lou slowly moved from Cody to Noah, to Buck and Jimmy, giving each one a hug and telling each of them that she would miss them. Even Jessie stopped by on his way to the blacksmith’s shop to wish her well. Teaspoon stepped forward and soon she found herself swallowed up in his tight embrace. “I’m gonna miss you, sweetheart. It won’t be the same around here without you,” he told her. To Jem and Theresa, he commanded, “You better take good care of her, because she is like a daughter to me and a sister to the rest of these boys. I’ll be checking in on her every so often just to make sure she’s happy with all of you.” There was a twinkle in his eye but his voice betrayed the glint in his eye. He was going to miss his girl and they better know it. Rachel stepped forward next, hugging the petite woman and promising to write. She elicited the same promise to write from Lou as she slowly let her friend go. She hoped things would work out for Lou as she made her way to northern Nebraska. According to Jem, the ranch was about a day and half ride from Rock Creek. Any one of them could be there in a heartbeat if she needed them. Finally, Lou turned her face towards Kid. She had saved the hardest goodbye for last. Walking over to him, she grabbed his hands and pulled herself into his arms one last time. He wrapped his arms around her slim waist and buried his face into her hair and shoulder. Tears slowly rolled down his cheek, landing in her hair. She whispered, “I love you,” into his ear and slowly started to pull herself away from his embrace. Before she could leave him completely, Kid stopped her, gazed into her tearfilled eyes and whispered, “I love you, too” back to her. She moved closer to place a soft kiss on his lips before turning to walk over to her horse, their fingers holding on until the last possible second when they softly fell away. Mounting up, she waved goodbye to her express family and headed off towards Nebraska and her new life. She only hoped she had made the right decision. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ The journey to Nebraska was relatively uneventful. They rode for most of the first day, while Lou sat stoically in her saddle, hardly seeing the landscape around her. She kept replaying Kid’s face as she rode away from him. At night, when they stopped to make camp for the night, Lou took care of her horse before curling up into her bedroll where she finally allowed her tears to consume her. Jem and Theresa sat up around the campfire for a while, discussing ranch business before Jem turned to his mother to ask, “Do you think she’ll be alright? She hasn’t really spoken a word since we left and now she’s crying herself to sleep.” Theresa looked over at her son before she replied, “Jem, she’s in love and just broke her own heart by leaving that boy back there. Don’t you remember how you felt when Mary married John? You were heartbroken and inconsolable. It took you a while to come out of that misery you allowed yourself to wallow in.” J em was pensive for a while, taking in what his mother just told him. “He was the last one she said goodbye to, wasn’t he?” was his response. “I am glad you can see it for yourself, son. She’s in for a world of heartbreak right now, and that’s something you can relate to. She’s not so different from you, now is she?” “Do you think it is really over between them? Or should I be worried?”Jem asked his mother. “I would be more worried if we don’t see that young man again. From what Rachel told me the other day, he is a fine young man and we should be happy to see Louise settled down with someone like him.” Jem let her words sink in before turning in for the night. He knew all about heartbreak. He only wished he could save his daughter from experiencing it herself. It was looking like it was already too late for that. As he drifted off to sleep, he thought of Mary Louise and how much he missed her right now. He wondered if that ache in his chest that appeared whenever he thought about her each night would ever go away. In the darkest of night, he fervently hoped not. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Lou could see buildings coming into view as Lightning reached the crest of the hill. The wagon, driven by her father, with her grandmother alongside him, was right next to her. “There it is, Louise. Mariah Lake Ranch.” Theresa announced to her granddaughter as they stopped to take it all in. “It really is beautiful, Grandma. I can't believe you live here. It seems so peaceful after…” Lou’s mind drifted back to the memories surrounding her hasty departure from her father’s house over a decade ago. No, not her father, she scolded herself again. She was going to have to get used to this change. Jem was her father, not that horrible John. The trio started their descent into the valley that held the ranch, and Lou’s new home. Mariah Lake ranch was named after the beautiful blue lake that filled the center of the vast valley in which it was located, as well as Lou’s mother. Around the perimeter of the lake were softly moving weeping willow trees and patches of blue forget-me-nots scattered here and there. It was the most beautiful place Lou had ever seen, and it was her new home. Mama would have loved this place she thought to herself as she slowly descended into the valley. The blue flowers around the lake reminded her of soft blue eyes gazing into hers. She quickly stifled that thought as the ranch house rose up before her. The house was large by any standards, with three stories, a wraparound porch, white clapboard siding, and a large turret on the right side of the house. Stained glass windows surrounded the front door and the tops of the windows around the turret. Flowers and shrubbery surrounded the house. There was a large vegetable garden off to the left of the house, probably near the kitchen, Lou thought. The garden was enclosed by a white picket fence with a gated arch to welcome its gardeners. Off in the distance, to the left of the house and down closer to the lake was the barn. As the trio approached the house, two ranch hands ran out from the barn to help Jem and Theresa with the wagon and the horses. “Hey, welcome back, Jem, Theresa. It looks like you had a successful trip. Is this Louise, our missing girl?” the first man asked. He was relatively tall with short blonde hair, tanned skin, and piercing blue eyes. He looked up at Lou with curiosity, shading his eyes from the bright, afternoon sun. Jem was the first to reply, “Yes, Josiah, the trip was successful. You remember Louise?” “How could I forget? She’s the spitting image of her mother,” Josiah remarked, unshed tears glistening in his eyes. Coming closer to his niece, Josiah placed his hand on her knee as he said, “It sure is good to have you home, Louise.” “It’s good to be here, Uncle Josiah,” Lou said softly to the blonde man before her, grabbing his hand with her own. “Can you unhitch the wagon and tend to the horses while Theresa and I get Louise settled in the house?” Jem asked his brother, dismounting from the wagon. He directed the ranch hand to carry the trunk and carpet bag onto the porch before Josiah climbed onto the wagon to bring it to the barn. Louise slid off the side of Lightning, stating, “I can get him settled myself, if you can show me which stall he can use, Uncle Josiah” Josiah started walking in the direction of the barn, “Right this way, Louise,” prompting Lou to follow, tugging on her horse’s reins to get him to follow. Once inside the barn, Josiah led Lou to a stall towards the back of the barn indicating a stall for Lightning. “This should do for your horse, sweetheart. Tack room is over there for your saddle and anything else you might need. Feed is next to the tack room. One of the stable boys should be around soon to fill all the troughs in here, but if you want to feed him now, go ahead. Are you sure I can't help you?” He looked over at her and took in her deep brown eyes that held an ocean of sadness in them. “No, thanks, I can do it,” was her quiet reply. “It is so good to see you again, Louise. We’ve all missed you around here,” he said, pulling her in for a hug. With that, Josiah left to help unhitch the two horses before leading them into the barn and tending to them. Lou barely remembered her other uncle. He was usually busy working while Jem had stayed around her and Mama all the time. It’ll be nice to be surrounded by family again, she thought as she started relieving Lightning of his burden. By the time Lou finished unsaddling Lightning, brushed him down and left fresh hay and oats for him before leaving the barn, the wagon was gone. Flinging her saddle bags over her shoulder, Lou left the barn. She trudged over to the house, climbing the steps to the porch before Theresa and Jeremiah came bounding out of the house and into her arms. Her brother and sister nearly knocked her over in their exuberance to see their older sister again. “Louise! You’re back! Grandma and Uncle Jem weren’t sure if you would really be there or if you would even come with them,” Jeremiah exclaimed. Little Theresa added, “You’re not mad that I told them where you were living, are you? I know you told me not to tell the nuns since they wouldn’t approve of it, you said, so I didn’t. But I thought it would be alright if I told Grandma. She’s really nice.” Lou smiled at her sister’s comments and squatted down to her eye level, “Yeah, it's alright to tell them. We can trust them. They loved Mama very much and have been waiting to see us again. Did Grandma or Uncle Jem tell you anything else?” Theresa and Jeremiah looked at each other before looking back at their sister, “They told us who they were and told us a little bit about Mama and our father, the one who died after he took us from the orphanage,” Jeremiah informed Lou, his voice betraying the anger he felt over being lied to about their father last year. Lou looked over her siblings heads and noticed a pair of rocking chairs by a porch swing. “Why don’t we go sit down. I have some things to tell you,” Lou suggested. Theresa and Jeremiah trotted over to claim the swing while Lou sank down onto the rocking chair. Looking over at her siblings, whose faces were looking at her expectantly, Lou began to speak, “Grandma and Uncle Jem tried very hard to protect us from our father, John, the man who took you from the orphanage last year. He was not a nice man. You are both too young to remember how he treated Mama, but it was horrible. Uncle Jem and Grandma were always around to help Mama and to take care of me and you, Jeremiah. When Mama was expecting you, Theresa, John found out that we, none of us, were really his children. Mama had fallen in love with someone else before she was forced to marry John. When John found out, he vowed to kill all of us. Grandma, Uncle Jem, and Uncle Josiah helped us escape and helped us hide. Unfortunately, Mama had to take us away to stay hidden from John,which meant that Grandma and our Uncles also couldn’t see us. Once John died last year, they could come find us.” Lou looked at her siblings faces to see if they understood. Theresa was the first to speak, “Then if that man wasn’t our father, who was?” Jeremiah just nodded beside her as the swing moved back and forth. Lou took a deep breath as she started, “Uncle Jem is our real father.” With that statement, Lou became aware of Theresa and Jem’s arrival on the porch from inside the house. Her siblings turned their heads to look at Jem, searching his face for the truth. Jeremiah ran over to him asking, “Is it true? Are you really our Pa?” Little Theresa was quickly at his side. Jem knelt down, so he could be at his younger children’s eye level, “Yes,” was all he could get out before both children plowed into his arms. Lou stood from her rocking chair and walked over to join her family, tears in her eyes. Disentangling himself from Jeremiah and Theresa, Jem stood, pulling Lou into a firm hug, kissing the top of her head. Jeremiah and Theresa joined them. After a few minutes, the foursome pulled apart as Grandma asked, “Louise, can I show you the inside of the house and your room? If you don’t like the one we put your belongings in, you can choose any of the other ones.” Theresa piped up, “Pick the room next to mine! It is the prettiest room with pink walls and pink curtains and a pink quilt.” Louise just smiled forlornly at her little sister before following Grandma into the house. Inside the door was a large foyer with a long hallway leading to the back of the house. Lou could see large windows at the back of the house and a rolling hill beyond them. A long stairway rose along the right of the foyer and disappeared upstairs. Near the bottom of the stair and through the door to the right, there was a large parlour with two offices off the right of the parlor. To the left of the foyer, was the dining room, where Lou saw a large table with chairs to seat at least sixteen people. The room looked large enough that it could fit more if the table was bigger. Behind the dining room, was a large pantry where all manner of kitchenware and food was stored. On the other side of the pantry was the kitchen, where Theresa introduced Lou to the cook, Mrs. Smith, as well as the housekeeper, Mrs. Landry. Mrs. Smith rushed over to greet Lou with a square of freshly baked cornbread. Mrs. Landry greeted Lou with a soft smile, and a comical shake of her head as Jeremiah and Theresa promptly thrust out their hands requesting cornbread too. “Welcome to the ranch, Louise. We’ve heard all about you from little Theresa here,” Mrs. Landry said. “If you need anything, please let either of us know and we would be happy to help you,” Mrs. Smith added. With that, Grandma had whisked the three children from the kitchen and into the back hallway. To the back of the hallway, Lou saw three sets of French doors that were open to the most beautiful vista she had ever seen. Rolling hills swept away from the house, down to another, much smaller lake. Near the lake, stood a small cottage that was barely visible through the brambles that covered it. A shake roof and stone chimney winked out from the brambles and the merest glimpse of a door. Lou made a mental note to investigate that cottage later. Her grandmother quickly led the way through the hall and up the front stairs to the second floor. There were six doors around the second floor hallway as well as more stairs leading to the third floor. Theresa indicated the four doors for each of the already occupied bedrooms. Her bedroom and Jem’s were on the left side of the house, while Jeremiah’s and little Theresa’s bedroom were on the right. “You can also choose any room on the third floor if you would like,” Theresa informed her granddaughter. Lou saw her trunk waiting on the floor between the doors to the two empty bedrooms. She peeked into both rooms before running upstairs to explore the attic rooms. At the third floor landing, she saw there were just two doors, Lou opened the door on the right and walked into a room full of light. The walls were a buttery yellow while the light from the stained glass windows twinkled on the walls. White lace curtains fluttered in the open windows, which were on three sides giving her a view of the large lake out front as well as the smaller lake and intriguing cottage in the back. Against one wall was a large iron bed that had been painted white. Soft white, yellow, and lavender bedding completed the bed and a soft yellow rug was spread across the floor. There was a nightstand on either side of the bed and a large dresser against the opposite wall, between two doors. Behind the first door, Lou found a small bathing chamber, complete with tub and washstand. Lou couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to haul buckets of hot water all the way up here, but the room was so beautiful, she couldn’t imagine sleeping anywhere else. Lou left the small bathing chamber to find her grandmother. As she made her way through the door back into the room, she found Theresa standing there, smiling at her, “You like this room, don’t you? I thought you might. I will have Jem bring your trunk up so you can unpack.” Lou smiled, knowingly at her grandmother. As Theresa turned to leave, she said, “Oh, and if you are wondering, there is a dumb waiter to help bring hot water up here when you want a bath. No sense hauling water up three flights of stairs.” A smile crossed Lou’s face upon hearing her grandmother’s comment. She was feeling more at home here with people who seemed to be more and more like her than she knew. Jem arrived a short time later with Lou’s trunk and carpet bag. He quickly left the room, wanting to give his eldest daughter time to relax and adjust to her new surroundings. Lou immediately dragged her trunk to the foot of the bed and started taking out her few dresses to place in the dresser. Her three books, Persuasion, Pride & Prejudice, and Oliver Twist found a place on the nightstand to the right of the bed. Her mother’s silver brush and mirror were lovingly placed on the dresser. Lou placed her shoes in the small closet as well as her hat. Closing the trunk, she turned to the carpet bag to remove her final feminine garments, which weren’t very many, and placed them with the other clothing in the dresser. She looked briefly at the remaining item in there, deciding to remove it later. Upon stowing her bag onto the closet’s top shelf, Lou wandered over to look out the back windows, barely noticing when Mrs. Landry came bustling into her room with a stack of towels and a bar of lavender soap. “Your grandmother thought you might like a bath after your trip here. Hot water is on its way up here into the bathing chamber. You can leave anything for the laundry in the basket by the tub. Someone will be around later tonight to collect,” she stated to the young woman. She seemed lost in thought as she gazed out the windows. Mrs. Landry thought she saw a tear in her eyes before she left the girl to her thoughts in the room. Once she was alone again, Lou moved to the bathing chamber, poured the buckets of water into the tub, discarded her dirty, dusty boy attire and sank into the hot bath water to scrub the miles and memories away. Lou finished her bath, relishing the smell of the delicate lavender soap, dried off and pulled on her lacy pantaloons, camisole, and her blue dress. It had to be close to dinner time and her stomach grumbled to remind her she hadn’t eaten much today besides some cornbread and hard tack. God, she wouldn’t miss eating that, she thought to herself. Lou quickly left her room and followed the delicious aroma that wafted up the stairs from the kitchen. Gliding down the stairs from her attic room, Lou found the dining room had been set for nine. She wondered who else would be eating with them. Mrs. Smith quickly bustled into the room, her arms laden with a large platter containing what looked like a roast turkey. Mrs. Landry followed her with a bowl of mashed potatoes. Her grandmother was next with a large pitcher of lemonade. Lou saw there was already gravy and carrots on the table along with the remaining cornbread. She waited until Jem showed up with the children, who quickly scrambled into their seats eager for dinner. Theresa sensed her uncertainty and quickly indicated where Lou should sit, “Over here, dear, next to me.” Lou obediently moved to the indicated chair and took her seat. With Grandma on her left and Josiah on her right, Lou felt a mite out of place, but when she saw Jeremiah and little Theresa across from her and their smiling faces, she relaxed a bit. Jem was seated at the head of the table while another ranch hand, as well as Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Landry rounded out the dinner guests. Jem said grace over the food, and before she knew it, everyone was eating the feast that lay before them. Once dinner was over, Lou headed back to her room eager for some time alone but dreading falling asleep that night. She quickly shed her dress and undergarments, trading them for the soft, white nightgown Rachel had given her months ago, before her run to Redfern station. As she slipped the gauzy cotton gown over her head she allowed her mind to drift back to that night she and Kid had spent together. The soft blue of his eyes, the way his hands felt on her skin, the way he kissed her with such longing. She knew if she continued down this path, she would never sleep, but she couldn’t help it. Climbing into bed, a soft knock at her door broke her from her reverie. “Come in,” she called softly. Theresa entered, clearly ready for bed by the light robe and slippers she wore. “I wanted to see if you wanted to go into town tomorrow to visit the dressmaker’s. I had a feeling you probably needed some more feminine attire as you spent the last few years masquerading as a boy. What do you think, Louise,” she asked softly. Lou smiled at her grandmother before answering, “That would be nice. I only have three dresses, and they are all rather fancy. Maybe some skirts and blouses would be nice.” “And maybe some more undergarments. You should also be wearing a corset, my dear. Time to discard the bindings you’ve been wearing,” Theresa suggested gently. “Do you mind if I save them for a little while?” Lou queried. Spying the doubtful look in her grandmother’s eyes, she added, “ I promise I won’t wear them anymore.” Eyeing her a bit suspiciously, Theresa nodded her agreement. “I’ll see you in the morning then, dear. Maybe we can get there before Theresa wakes, as I would like some time alone with you to talk.” “Sure. I can be up early. See you tomorrow, then?” she replied softly, turning her gaze to the back windows. “Louise, you know you can talk to me if you want to. I may be your grandmother, but I am also a woman who has been in love,” she said as she moved over to sit on the edge of the bed. “I know how much it hurts to be parted from someone you love. It’s written all over your face. You miss him, don’t you?” Lou lifted her sullen eyes to lock onto her grandmother’s compassionate gaze as she nodded her head before she burst into tears. Theresa made her way around the bed, taking Lou into her arms. She hugged the girl tightly to her chest as her body was wracked with sobs. Her hand stroked along her granddaughter’s back. “Shhh, dear. It’ll be alright. I am sure he is missing you too. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t show up here sometime soon to take you away from us,” she crooned into the soft brown waves. Her heart went out to the girl whose shoulders shook with the effort of her tears. “Louise, maybe you should write to him. There’s a desk in the room next door we could move into here so you can have some privacy to write. I am sure he would love to hear from you,” she softly suggested. At Lou’s downhearted expression, Theresa added,“At least think about it?” She pulled away from the young woman, her hands moving to hold her tearful face so she could look at her. Lou nodded before pulling away and wrapping her arms around her body. “I’ll have Jem move the desk in tomorrow morning while we are out. Try to sleep, dear. Good night.” And with that, the click of the door latching announced her departure. Lou glanced over at the closed door before dashing from her bed and hurrying over to find the carpetbag she had stashed there earlier that day. From within its depths, Lou pulled a familiar blue shirt into her arms. She put the bag back on the shelf before crawling into bed, the familiar shirt snuggled within her arms. After blowing out the lamp on her night table, Lou deeply inhaled the familiar scent of the one she missed so dearly, and cried herself to sleep. Chapter 5 Three months later…October, 1861 “Rachel, this stew sure is delicious tonight!” Cody exclaimed, his mouth full of food. “Thank you, Cody,” Rachel replied. “Has anyone seen Teaspoon? He should have been back from town by now.” “I stopped to remind him it was dinner time on my way back from the forge,” Jessie volunteered, helping himself to the stew. “It sure is quiet around here without Lou. I wonder how she is, Rachel. Have you heard from her yet?” “No, nothing yet, Jessie. Nothing from either Lou or Theresa,” Rachel replied, despondently. She was getting worried. It had been nearly three months since she and the boys had watched Lou ride away to her new home. Things were definitely quieter around the station without the petite rider around. The boys went about their daily lives, finishing their chores, and going on the few runs that remained as the express wound down. There was some talk about what they each would do once they officially received word from the company that the end had come. Cody was joining the army as a scout. Jimmy was already filling in as a deputy for Teaspoon as the town grew larger with the addition of new settlers to the area. Buck and Noah were planning on staying around the station for a little while to help out at the livery. There was some talk about the two of them starting their own horse ranch, but she was not sure what would come of that. Only Kid had not voiced any plans for the future. Rachel watched him carefully, more closely than the others. She saw the subtle slump of his shoulders and saw the pervasive sadness that clouded over his face when he thought no one was watching. She kept hoping that a letter would arrive from the ranch to alleviate his anxiety. She tried to gently encourage him to write to her, but to no avail. She knew he tried at night when he couldn’t sleep. She saw the evidence of his attempted letters, carelessly swept under the bed probably out of frustration. Rachel knew time was running out for these two. If she didn’t get word from Theresa soon, she was going to have to go there herself to find out what had happened to her female rider. Just then, Teaspoon burst through the door, “Looks like I made it just in time for dinner!” he announced. Everyone turned to see the station master-turned-marshal as he entered the bunkhouse and sat at the table. Rachel promptly filled his plate with stew while Jimmy passed the plate of warm biscuits to him. “Any news from town, Teaspoon?” Rachel asked, concern showing in her eyes. Teaspoon met her gaze before he looked down at his plate shaking his head in dismay, “Nothing yet. I’m sorry.” The boys continued their meal in silence. Everyone missed their female rider. Life around the station just wasn’t the same without her familiar presence. Kid suddenly stood up pushing his plate away, grumbling, “I’m done,” before he stormed out of the bunkhouse. Rachel watched as he headed in the direction of the barn. Within minutes, Katy came flying out with her rider on top. They raced around the corner and disappeared behind the house. “Teaspoon, we have to do something. He’s become unbearable to be around,” Jimmy pleaded. “Yeah, Teaspoon. This is worse than when they broke up before,” added Cody. “Can’t one of us ride out there just to check on her?” Jimmy asked. “Three months with no word is a long time,” Buck reminded everyone present. “You don’t think something happened to her and they’re afraid to tell us, do you?” Noah asked, stating what was on everyone’s mind. Rachel had had enough of all this talk. She locked gazes with Teaspoon before she added, “Teaspoon, someone needs to go visit her before winter comes. Once it starts snowing, we’ll have to wait until spring. And I know at least two of us can’t wait that long.” Teaspoon looked at the remaining riders seated around the table before looking back at Rachel. “I agree, we can’t wait any longer. Frankly, I am surprised Kid hasn’t ridden out of here to go get her yet. But, I am not sure I want him knowing what we’re about to do. I think it might be best for one of us to ascertain how she is before we let him know. God forbid something bad has happened, we’ll need to break the news to him gently,” he stated. “Therefore, I think Rachel needs to go with one of you four as her escort. Are there any volunteers?” All four hands shot up in the air at once. “That’s what I figured. Time to draw straws.” Teaspoon quickly went to the barn, returning with four pieces of straw clutched in the fist. One by one the boys picked their straw, Jimmy coming up with the short straw. “When do we leave, Teaspoon.” Jimmy asked. Rachel looked between Jimmy and Teaspoon before she suggested, “When is Kid’s next run? I think we should leave while he’s away. He can find out once he gets back and we’re already gone.” “Do you think that’s wise, Rachel? Leaving him out of this? You know how badly he misses her. We all do.” Noah queried, his eyes fixed on the woman. Teaspoon answered him, “If we want to see how she is first, we need to keep him out of this. It will be up to the rest of us to keep him occupied until Rachel returns and we know more. I am sure she’s fine, probably just busy, but I know we’re all anxious to hear anything. So, for now, Rachel and Jimmy will go.” “Teaspoon, Kid’s next run is tomorrow morning. He has a special run to Fort Kearney. We all know that’s a long run and he should be gone four days, at least,” Cody chimed in. “That will make it easier on all of us if he is out on a run for a few days.” Teaspoon nodded his agreement. “By the time he gets back, you two will already be there. Maybe, on your way back already. We can tell him...well, we’ll think of something by then.” “Alright,Teaspoon. I guess this is a plan.” Buck replied. Noah looked at Jimmy, “Need any help packing? We should get done before Kid comes back from wherever he went.” “Yeah, let’s go, Noah.” “Anyone wants to write her a letter for me to take, now might be a good time. Just make sure I have them before heading out,” Rachel announced. Quietly, to Teaspoon she advised, “Try to get Kid to write when he gets back tonight. Tell him you’ll mail it on your way into town tomorrow.” She turned to start clearing the supper dishes when she stopped, turning to add,”Oh, and Teaspoon, you’ll have to let the students know there will be no school this week because of a family emergency.” “I think I can do that. Boys, let’s get going. Rachel, I’ll leave you to clean up dinner,” Teaspoon sent everyone on their way. “I have to get back to the office.” With that, Jimmy, Noah, Buck , and Cody headed off to the barn to help Jimmy ready the horses. Jessie cleared the table for Rachel before he grabbed his book, Robinson Crusoe, before sitting at the table to read for school. He remembered when Lou used to help him with his schooling by quizzing him about what happened in each chapter after he read it. She made the book much more interesting and much more fun to learn about. Now he just had to read and it wasn’t as fun without Lou. Rachel proceeded to start washing dishes. As she maneuvered the plates, mugs, and utensils into the sudsy water, her mind wandered to Kid’s behavior over the last three months. Each week seemed to bring more sorrow into his frame. He was slowly becoming more detached from his fellow riders and friends. He barely ate. He frequently left the station for hours only to return after dark, when he could slink into his bunk unnoticed. Little did he know that everyone noticed his actions. Rachel thought he would have written to Lou by now. Maybe he had sent something without anyone's knowledge. Somehow she doubted that. Cody was right, this was worse than when they had broken up before. If Kid was this bad, she wondered if Lou suffered a similar fate. She desperately wanted to hear something, anything from Theresa. Rachel was so deep in thought, before she knew it the dishes were finished and Jessie was finished reading for the night. “Time for bed, Jessie,” she reminded the young boy. It was getting late and the boys would be back from the barn any time now. Rachel left the bunkhouse, walking towards her own small house next door. She found Teaspoon waiting for her on the porch. “Forget something, Teaspoon?” she asked the man leaning against the porch rail. He didn’t answer her until she was less than an arm's length away from him. “This came today while I was in town. I thought it best for you to read it away from prying eyes.” Teaspoon held the missive up so Rachel could barely make out her name scrawled in an unfamiliar handwriting. “Is that…” she asked Teaspoon. “I think it is. Three months without word. Finally, we hear from Theresa.” Rachel looked up at Teaspoon, not trying to hide the worry etched deep in her face. “Do you want me to wait with you while you read it? I’m not sure I could sleep anyway,” he asked, tenderly. Rachel nodded and led him inside the front room of her tiny house. She motioned for him to sit on the small settee, while she settled into the rocking chair. Carefully opening the letter, she began reading it out loud: Dear Rachel, I hope that this letter finds all of you at the station well and happy. We have been adjusting to life here with two active children. Jeremiah and Theresa have settled in here with little issue. They have readily accepted Jem as their father and have even begun calling him Papa, which has made him over the moon with joy! Louise has been settling in here, although she is not doing as well as we had all hoped. She has eliminated all the boyish garb from her wardrobe and has enjoyed dressing like a young woman again. Her hair has grown a bit and little Theresa tries to practice doing her hair daily. Lou does it to keep her occupied, but her heart is not in it. Jem and I have been increasingly concerned over her behavior. She has this haunting sadness that seems to consume her daily. I have tried encouraging her to write to either you or Kid, and I think she has. I don’t think she has sent them though. I was in her room about a month after she arrived and saw a stack of letters ready to go on her desk. When I looked this morning, they were still there. I think she was hoping Kid would write to her by now. I know you have been encouraging him as I have been encouraging her, but I am starting to think we will need to intervene. Lou carries on with her daily activities. She has learned how to cook under the tutelage of our cook, Mrs. Smith, which she seems to genuinely enjoy. She also goes riding with Jem every afternoon which seems to lift her spirits, at least for a while. But once she returns home, she retreats to her room or the small cottage on the edge of our ranch where she has been working to bring it back to life. She spends time reading on occasion. But by nightfall, she cries herself to sleep every night. I found a blue shirt tucked under her pillow one morning and she just about lost it when I tried to wash it. I figured it must belong to him. It brings her some measure of comfort, I guess. Recently, her eating habits have changed. She barely eats anymore. I would worry about her wasting away, but her curves are filling out more and more each day. We usually have oatmeal for breakfast, but in recent weeks, she goes green at the sight of it and runs to the safety of her room where she is frequently sick. While I haven’t approached her yet about it, I think she knows what is happening. Please use your discretion when sharing this information with anyone at the station. Lou adamantly affirms that she is fine and will be better in no time, but I think we both know what is really going on. I think she is desperately clutching to the hope that Kid will show up one day, soon I hope, and marry her. Although she has not come out and said this outright, I know that is her innermost desire. And now to the real reason for my writing. I fervently hope you will come visit her soon. She misses you terribly and would love to see you at your earliest convenience. Theresa Rachel dropped her hands into her lap along with the letter, a look of astonishment on her face. “Teaspoon, do you know what this means?” she asked the man sitting across from her. “Clearly, our girl is in as much pain as Kid,” he responded quietly. “I am glad we already made plans for you to visit her tomorrow. She sounds like she needs to see a friendly face. She is heartsick that must be why she is becoming physically ill.” Teaspoon added. Rachel looked at him with a frown on her face. “Teaspoon, she may be suffering from a broken heart, but I would bet she brought a little going away present with her,” she insinuated. “Yeah, she did. Looks like Theresa finally solved the mystery of Kid’s missing shirt for us. Lou obviously took it and has been sleeping with it at night,” Teaspoon stated with confidence which caused Rachel to roll her eyes at the man. “Teaspoon, you have been married, what, six times? You are obviously familiar with what happens between a man and a woman, especially when they are in love,” she eyed him with raised eyebrows. “Yes, I am quite familiar with wedded bliss, Rachel. What’s your point? And what has this to do with that shirt?” In frustration, Rachel stood up and walked over to stand directly in front of the obtuse man. Did she really have to spell it out for him? Ugh, men, she thought to herself. “Teaspoon, I think Lou is expecting,” she calmly stated. “Expecting what?” he looked at her with confusion on his face. Rachel tilted her head to the side and raised her eyebrows at him as if to say, “really.” Slowly, a look of realization crept over his face. Teaspoon leapt off of the settee, nearly knocking Rachel over. “NO!” he shouted under his breath, coming face to face with the woman. “Do you think he has any idea?” “Teaspoon, I am not sure if Lou really has any idea, much less Kid. For God’s sake, he hasn’t seen her in three months.” She started pacing around the room. “I am going to have to talk to her when I get there. And…” she stopped directly in front of Teaspoon before continuing, “you are going to have to light a fire under Kid to get him moving back to her. But do NOT give anything away. If I know Lou, the last thing she would want is for Kid to return to her out of obligation. She would rather have this baby without him knowing anything about it than have a husband that is there because he has to be!” Rachel stopped, angry and out of breath. “She wants to know that he’s there because he loves her and only her. I am sure she can tell him about the baby herself, once he is there.” “I agree that he needs to hear this from her. You will get no argument from me on that. We just need to get him out there as soon as possible. You don’t think she knew about this before she left do you?” “I doubt it. If I were to guess, I would say it happened right before she left. Neither of them were quite thinking clearly. And really, have they been themselves since she left? Judging by the contents of this letter and what we have all witnessed around here, I would say not,” Rachel said softly before adding “It looks like we’ll both have our work cut out for us over the next few days. But, I’m confident we’ll be successful.” Teaspoon started walking to the door to let himself out. He turned before leaving, “I have never seen two people more suited for each other. They both just need a little kick in the right direction. Then they can figure it out.” He was nearly out the door when he stopped, asking, “Do you think I should have Kid stop by to see Amanda on his way home? He’ll be travelling right past Benton. It wouldn’t be too far out of the way from the regular route. And…” he added, his eyebrows waggling, “The ranch is right outside the town. I could send a letter with him to give to Amanda, she can suggest he go out to the ranch to see how Rachel is.” “That might be a good idea, Teaspoon. Just get the two of them together so they can sort things out. I am sure you can think of a reason for Amanda to get him out there. Maybe she can ask him to come with her to visit the ranch? That might work if he thinks you want her to run some errand for you, or something,” Rachel responded. “Heck, if you can get him to Benton, he might just decide to go there himself, she muttered under her breath. “Anyway, it’s getting late and I have to be up early tomorrow morning to get ready to leave.. Night, Teaspoon.” “Night, Rachel,” Teaspoon whispered as he left the small house. As he walked across the yard, he saw Kid walking in with Katy in tow. “Hey, Kid. Late night again?” he asked the troubled rider. Kid’s head whipped up as he was pulled from his thoughts, “Huh? Yeah.” “Wanna talk about it?” “I don’t know that it’ll help, Teaspoon.” “Well, it can’t hurt, can it? I always find things can become clearer when I talk things out sometimes,” Teaspoon suggested, putting his arm around the younger man’s shoulders. “Why don’t I come with you while you see to Katy? We can talk while you work.” Sighing, Kid replied, “Alright.” Kid slowly led Katy into the barn and into her stall before he started removing her saddle, blanket, and harness. Once everything was stowed in the tack room, Kid set to brushing her down. Teaspoon saw this as a good place to start. “Kid?” He paused before trying again,”Kid!” Kid grunted in reply. “How come you never wrote to Lou? I can see her being gone is tearing you up inside. Why not tell her?” Kid continued to brush Katy’s coat while Teaspoon leaned against the stall wall. “I can’t. She’s better off without me,” Kid whispered as tears silently rolled down his cheeks. Teaspoon was surprised by his answer. Better off without him? Why would he think such a thing? He better find out. “Why would you think that, son,” he quietly asked. Kid’s hushed reply came as the brush stopped moving. “She’s always wanted her family together. That’s why she worked so hard and saved so much money so she could get a place for her and her brother and sister. When Jem and Theresa showed up, I knew she had to go. I knew she would go. I just had to let her go. I knew I would miss her, but I didn’t think it would be this hard,” Kid finished. He slowly trudged out of the stall to put the brush away and grabbed some oats for Katy on his way back. He brushed the tears off his cheeks after depositing the treat into her trough. Stopping near Teaspoon, he just looked at the man who had become like a father to him, willing the anguish in his heart to stop. “How do you know she isn’t missing you as much as you miss her?” Teaspoon gently queried. “I don’t. I just have to trust that she is happy with her family.” “Don’t you think she would be happy if that family included you too?” Teaspoon knew he was treading on thin ice here. He had to be careful not to betray the contents of Theresa’s letter that was still fresh in his mind. “She’s not a child, Kid. We all know she loves you. Everyone at the station could see it all over her face every time she looked at you. And they saw the same thing from you. You two are meant to be together. Aren’t you the least bit curious to see how she is?” he finished. Kid kicked his foot in the dirt floor of the barn. “Of course, I would give anything to see her again. But, if I did, I don’t think I could ever leave her again.” “Then don’t.” “What are you suggesting, Teaspoon?” “I think you know exactly what I am suggesting here, Kid.” Teaspoon pointedly looked the younger man in the eye, raising his eyebrows as his meaning became clear to Kid. “What do I have to offer her right now, Teaspoon? I have some money saved, sure, but I don’t have a place for us to live, and pretty soon I won’t have a job. She would be stupid to accept me right now!” Teaspoon could tell that Kid had been thinking long and hard about this. He clearly wanted to marry her, not that anyone at the station would have thought otherwise. He thought back to the last time he had proposed with disastrous results. She wasn’t ready for all that; Kid was afraid to let her be herself. It was a mess, then. But things had changed in the last several months. They seemed to have worked through all that. Kid was less agitated when Lou would be out on a run, while Lou was more understanding of his need to protect her by being more open with him. He pushed her less and she in turn opened up more. “If all that,” Teaspoon waved his hands around as he was talking, “the house, the job, weren’t a worry, would you do it?” He watched the young man carefully, a plan forming in his mind. He would have to speak to Rachel before she left tomorrow. Kid’s reply was instantaneous, “Teaspoon, you know I would be out there in a heartbeat. But we both know that it’s impossible.” He turned and started trudging to the bunkhouse. It was late and he had a long run in the morning. “Nothing is impossible, Kid” he thought he heard Teaspoon say softly as he left the barn. Kid was careful to enter the bunkhouse without making too much noise. He knew it was late and the rest of the boys would be asleep already. Talking with Teaspoon a little while ago had really rattled him. He quietly peeled his clothes off, getting down to his long johns before climbing in his bunk. He glanced over at the small sleeping alcove she used to occupy and wondered what she was doing at that moment. Probably sleeping, he mused. She really did like to sleep, he thought as a small smile flitted across his lips. Maybe he should write to her even if it came out as gibberish. He had tried to write before, but he couldn't calm the thoughts racing through his head to be able to put anything of sense on the paper. Maybe Teaspoon was right. Maybe it didn’t matter what he said as long as she knew how he felt. He needed to tell her how much he missed her. How he fell asleep every night dreaming of her in his arms, wishing she were here with him. How he missed her playfulness and the way she would smile just for him. How her face lit up whenever she saw him and how he couldn’t wait to see her again after either of them left on a run. Suddenly, the thoughts didn’t seem so confusing. Kit slid from his bunk and made his way over to the table where the lamp was still lit, grabbing some paper and pen from the shelf. Sitting down, he poured his heart out on the paper, thinking of all the things he would say to her if she were here with him right now. Once he was finished, he folded the paper up, placed it in an envelope, and tucked it under his pillow, sure that he could give it to Teaspoon to mail in the morning after he left on his run. For the first time since she left, Kid fell into a deep sleep, albeit one that was haunted by images of soulful brown eyes, soft brown hair, and creamy soft skin. Kid was up shortly after the sun the next morning despite his late bedtime the night before. He knew his run was to leave this morning, but he had to see Teaspoon or Rachel before he left. Now that he was able to put his feelings onto paper, he wanted them to reach her as soon as possible. If he didn’t have this four day run today, he would take it there himself. Rachel was just stepping onto her porch with a platter of biscuits balanced between her right hand and hip so she could shut the door behind her. She heard Kid before she saw him. “Rachel!” “Good morning, Kid!” she said with surprise. “You’re up early this morning. Getting ready for your run?” “I am, but I have a favor to ask you before I go, seeing as how I won’t have time to do it myself before then.” He shyly pulled the letter from his shirt pocket, extending his hand towards Rachel. “I was wondering if you could mail this letter for me, today if possible?” The post office won’t be open before I have to leave, or I would do it myself.” Rachel detected something different about Kid. The sadness was still clearly visible behind his eyes, but there was a determination in his demeanor, one that she hadn’t seen in months. Wondering what Teaspoon had said to him last night after she said good night to him, she answered the anxious young man in front of her, “Of course, Kid. I would be happy to send it for you.” Clearly, whatever happened between Kid and Teaspoon last night had worked. “Breakfast will be ready in a minute. Are the other boys up yet? Jessie should be ready for work by now.” “Yeah, Rachel. They were all getting up when I left to get Katy saddled.” “Alright. You coming in?” Rachel wanted to make sure the young man had a good breakfast before he headed out. Entering the bunkhouse, Rachel was greeted by the remaining riders in various states of dress, as they pulled their pants and shirts over their long johns. Although it was the middle of October, it was getting pretty chilly in the mornings and they all suspected winter would be here before they knew it. She better bring extra blankets with her for the journey, she thought to herself as she busied herself preparing breakfast for the group of young men before her. Funny, she thought, she knew exactly what could draw a man from his warm bed in the morning as surely as she knew what could get him in the same bed at night. The aroma of fresh bacon and eggs soon filled the room, triggering more than one growl from the empty stomachs around her. Soon, the table was set and the boys were all gathered around the table, ready for breakfast. Teaspoon came sauntering through the door just as Rachel brought the platter of bacon to the table. She poured coffee for those who wanted it, then sat down to join them for their repast. “So, how did everyone sleep last night,” Teaspoon asked the group assembled around the table. There was a chorus of “alrights” and “goods”, but everyone was most surprised to hear Kid’s reply of “pretty good.” Teaspoon was glad to hear his little chat last night may have helped, even if it was only a little bit. “Well,” he said cheerfully, “that’s good to hear. Kid, you ready for your run this morning? Everything packed?” Kid was busy filling himself with the eggs and bacon on his plate, but finally answered, “Yup.” Breakfast continued and the boys were about to depart for their chores before Teaspoon stopped Kid. “Kid, I need you to do something on your way home.” “Sure, Teaspoon. What is it?” “I need you to deliver this letter to Amanda on your way back. I know it’s a bit out of the way, but I figured you would be in that general direction. It would be easier if you could just drop it off with her. You’ll need to wait for her reply.” Teaspoon was taking a gamble here, but he knew Amanda would understand. He only hoped he wasn’t interfering too much. “Sure. But, Teaspoon, I have a few days off after this run. Do you mind if I don’t return right away? There are some things I wanted to do on my way back here,” Kid requested. Teaspoon eyed the young man before him suspiciously. Did he dare hope Kid was planning on going where he thought he might be headed? He hoped he was right, but he figured he better warn Rachel after Kid left. Kid grabbed the missive from Teaspoon, heading over to Katy to stow the letter in his saddlebags. Rachel, appearing from the bunkhouse, handed him a bundle with hardtack, biscuits, and jerky to sustain him until he reached his destination, which he tucked into his other saddlebag. After mounting Katy, he saw the incoming rider and heard the familiar, “Rider Coming!” from Noah who was nearing the barn. Kid kicked his heels into Katy’s sides, telling her it was time to get going. She took off at a gallop as Kid reached out to take the mochilla from the incoming rider. Rachel, Teaspoon, and the rest of the riders watched as Kid sped off in the direction of Fort Kearney. “Want to tell me what happened after you left last night? Did you talk to Kid?” Rachel leaned over to whisper to the station master standing next to her. “I most certainly did, my dear,” Teaspoon said as a smug smile played across his features and his arms crossed over his chest. Rachel just stood there gaping at him. “Don’t you boys have something to do this morning? Jimmy, get that buckboard hitched. Noah, Buck, get Rachel’s things from her house and get them into the buckboard. Jessie, get to the forge!” Teaspoon bellowed across the yard. “You too Cody, don’t you have chores to do?” Rachel added. Rachel turned to head into the bunkhouse to clean up from breakfast with Teaspoon hot on her heels. No sooner than they had entered the bunkhouse, Rachel whirled on Teaspoon. “What happened last night? That was a different Kid I saw this morning. He was almost, dare I say it, almost normal! What did you say to him?” Rachel practically shouted at the man. “Let’s just say I gave him some things to think about,” he grinned back at her. “Spill it!” she glared at Teaspoon in frustration. “Fine!” he said as he leaned against the prep table. He had a lot to say and little time to get it said. “I thought of a way to help everyone out here. Start cleaning up and I’ll tell you what happened and what we can do,” he prodded Rachel to get going since she had a journey to make. As Rachel washed, Teaspoon dried for her and told her everything that had transpired late last night as well as the idea he had to help Kid and Lou out a bit. By the time they exited the bunkhouse , Rachel was ready with Jimmy to depart for the ranch. She had a conspiratorial grin plastered on her face as she climbed aboard the waiting buckboard and waved goodbye to Teaspoon. She patted the letter held snugly in her pocket that Kid had slipped to her while they were still in the bunkhouse. For the first time, she felt confident that things would work out for her two young friends. And, she was eager to get there and get started. Chapter 6 Lou was awakened by the sound of the wind whistling around her attic bedroom. She was cozy and snug under her warm quilts, with Kid’s blue shirt tucked under her chin. Closing her eyes, she ran a hand over her slightly swollen stomach. Her little miracle was nestled in her belly. She thought about what he or she would look like in a few months when she finally got to meet them. She hoped it had Kid’s blue eyes more than anything else. At least she would have that reminder of him, even if she never saw him again. That thought was almost too painful to even think about so she pushed it to the back of her mind and continued to stroke her small belly. Luckily, she had been able to hide it from everyone. She hoped the nausea would go away soon, she couldn’t count the number of times she ran from breakfast every time Mrs. Smith served oatmeal for breakfast. But, a few weeks ago, oatmeal seemed to disappear from the menu and she had been slightly better. Her grandmother had started making her herbal tea to help with the nausea and told her to nibble on food throughout the day. That had definitely helped. As she lay in bed this chilly morning, she wondered how her grandmother knew what would help her. Lou shot up in the bed when she realized her grandmother probably already knew what ailed her. Realizing her mistake at once, Lou leapt from the bed and ran to the bathing chamber to empty what little remained in her stomach from last night’s dinner. She heard a knock on her bedroom door, before she heard her grandmother entering her room, “Louise? Are you alright?” Seeing her granddaughter curled up on the floor clutching the chamber pot, she knew the answer before Lou had a chance to answer herself. “Still not feeling well, huh?” Louise pulled herself up off the chilly floor and walked back to bed, trying to hide her shivering body. Theresa was right behind her as she crawled back into bed. As Lou retreated to the safety of her warm cocoon, Theresa sat on the edge of the bed. It was time to talk to Louise, whether she wanted to or not. “Sweetheart, you know your father and I love you more than anything in the world.” At Lou’s nod, she continued, “ You will always have place here with us should you wish it.” “I know, Grandma.” “There is something I need to talk to you about. Your father has no idea about any of this, which is probably a good thing right now. But, I’m a woman and a mother and I know what is ailing you.” Lou just sat there trying to keep a blank look on her face. She knew her grandmother knew she was with child. This was about to get uncomfortable. Theresa continued as she watched the emotions play across her eldest granddaughter’s face. “How far along are you, Louise?” There was no hiding the truth from her anymore. Lou just hoped her grandmother wouldn’t be too disappointed in her. “About four months,” she said as her eyes suddenly became intently interested in one of the squares on her quilt. “That’s about what I thought. When did you figure it out?” Lou traced her finger over the seams around the quilt square, “a little more than a month ago, when I was late and had been getting queasy all the time,” she replied quietly. “Have you thought about what you want to do? Shouldn’t you tell Kid about this? He should know. This affects him too, you know?” Lou looked back up at her grandmother. “I don’t want him to come back because of this. I know him. He would come. He’ll feel responsible for all this. I can’t be just an obligation he would come to regret someday,” she said as the tears started again. Theresa watched her granddaughter carefully, knowing she had to tread lightly here. “How about writing to him just to see how he is and let him know how much you miss him. Jem and I can see how much you miss him every day. It hurts us to know that you are hurting, sweetheart,” she said snuggling into the bed next to Lou and taking the girl into her arms. She could see a flurry of thoughts were swirling through Lou’s head. “I just want him to come back because he loves me, not because he has to. But, he probably won’t come until he can find another job. We all knew the express was coming to an end back when I agreed to come here. He won’t want a wife if he can’t take care of her the way he wants to. If I told him about the baby, it would only make things worse. We talked a little bit about something like this before I left. He’s afraid that Jem will call him out for what we did, and he won’t want to fight him. He knows how much I love all of you, but I love him too, Grandma. I can’t seem to figure out a way to make it all work,” she finished as she dissolved into a new round of sobs. Theresa calmly stroked her granddaughter's hair as she said, “Is that why you have been so interested in that cottage down by the lake? Jem and I have seen you heading down there frequently and trying to clean it up a bit. It is quite a lovely little place, isn’t it? It was here on the property when we bought it. Jem and Josiah wanted to tear it down, but I made them leave it. I figured one day we could make it a lovely little home for one of our employees.” As the words escaped her lips, Theresa realized she had found a solution to Lou’s heartache. If she could get her young man here as an employee, they could live in the cottage together. Lou would still be near her siblings, father and grandmother, but could have her own family with her as well. She would have to speak to Jem later this morning. He had been talking about hiring a new foreman lately anyway, why couldn’t it be his future son-in-law? “Louise? Does Kid know anything about horses?” Lou looked up at her grandmother, sniffling. “ He knew Katy was a great horse as soon as he saw her. And, he always took great care of her. The boys used to tease me that I had to compete with Katy for his attention, because he loved her so much,” she giggled at that memory before continuing, “I guess that’s pretty funny now, considering…” she stopped as her face flushed bright red as she realized what she just told her grandmother. Theresa watched the color rise in her granddaughter’s face before she chortled out, “Don’t worry, Louise. I was young and in love once. I know what happens. No need to be embarrassed. Don’t forget, your Mama and Papa were in the same situation. I just want to make sure you have a happy ending, not the nightmare we all had to endure after my husband and Ethan forced your Mama to marry John instead of Jem. I know once your father finds out,” Theresa saw the look of alarm that rapidly appeared on Lou’s face, “Shhh, he will want the same thing. We just want you to be happy” “Kid does love working with horses. He and Buck used to talk about starting a horse ranch once the express ended, so maybe he would consider it. Do you think it could work? “Louise, you know him better than anyone, what does your heart tell you?” For the second time that morning, Louise bolted upright in bed as she looked at her dresser. “Grandma, I think this might work!” At that moment, her stomach chose to roil again, her face went a bit green and she bolted from the bed and into the bathing chamber in search of her chamber pot. Theresa lay back in Lou’s bed, listening to her granddaughter’s retching. She did not miss this part of motherhood, at all, she smiled to herself as she withdrew from the bed to return to her room to start her day. She needed to speak to Jem as soon as he was awake and she needed to get some biscuits up to Louise at once so she could make a pleasant appearance at breakfast this morning. She had to keep Jem in the dark for a while longer, but if she was right, her letter should have reached Rock Creek days ago and they should be expecting visitors any day now. She had to warn Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Landry as soon as possible. Lou always loved riding, even more now that she got to accompany her father as he made his daily rounds of the ranch. She had loved riding for the express too, but now she could wear skirts and look like herself as she raced across the valley each afternoon and let her hair feel the wind as it whipped through it. She didn’t know how much longer she would be able to do this, so she was determined to enjoy it for as long as she could. Lou knew Jeremiah and little Theresa showed little interest in the horses on the ranch, much less riding them. Occasionally Jem would take them out for a ride, but when it was just him and Lou, they could ride as fast as they wanted. Her day had started much like any other day, with her getting sick, but after her conversation with her grandmother this morning, she was suddenly feeling much better. She had even asked her grandmother if she could mail the stack of letters that had been sitting on her desk since she got here. She would add letters to Kid and Rachel each week, but couldn’t bring herself to mail them. Today, she finally felt like she could. She had to find a way to bring Kid to her, and maybe, just maybe, her letters could do that. She was sure Rachel was going crazy at the way station since Lou had promised to write, but then sent no letters her way. Well, she mused to herself as Lightning raced towards the last hill, they would both hear from her soon. She and Jem were just coming around the last hill before the house came into sight, when she spied a strange carriage in front of the house. She pulled Lightning into a trot before yelling, “Pa!” Jem pulled on his reins to slow Merriweather down. He waited until Lou pulled Lightning even with him. “Are you expecting company today? Grandma didn’t say anything to me before we left.” There was something familiar about that hat she saw in the distance. It almost looked like Jimmy’s hat, but why would he be out here? He wouldn’t be. He was probably off helping Teaspoon with something in town right now. Jem looked at her squinting at the tiny figures in front of the house before responding, “Grandma didn’t say anything to me either.” He eyed his daughter to see if she was up to the challenge. Noting the new sparkle in her eyes, he shouted, “Race you back to the house!” before kicking his heels into Merriweather’s sides, prompting the horse to take off at a gallop. Not about to let her father beat her back, Lou muttered, “You did not just do that,” and implored Lightning to catch up with the horse and rider ahead of him. The two riders raced around the side of the lake before coming to a quick stop in front of the house. Jimmy was helping Rachel out of the buckboard in front of the house while Theresa had just come outside upon hearing the rattle of carriage wheels on the front drive. She and Rachel had barely enough time to exchange a knowing glance before the two riders drew to an abrupt halt in front of the house and the new visitors. “Rachel?” Lou shouted in amazement as she slid down off Lightning’s back and rushed to greet her friend. Rachel was nearly knocked over with the force of Lou’s small body barrelling into her with open arms. She quickly recovered and wrapped her arms around the petite woman. “I’ve missed you too, Lou,” she spoke into the brown waves that were flying everywhere in the breeze. Lou felt tears melt from her eyes as she pulled back from the embrace to look at her friend, the question she desperately wanted an answer to in her eyes. Rachel saw the look in her friend’s eye and knew they would have to talk soon. Lou was talking again before Rachel could reply to the questioning look. “What are you doing here, Rachel?” “Hey, I don’t even get a ‘hello’?” Jimmy said behind the pair. “Jimmy!” Lou sputtered as she turned and ran into Jimmy’s open arms. Why were they here? Had something happened back at the station? To him? She didn’t think she could bear to hear anything bad about Kid. Lou desperately hoped that this was just a social visit. Maybe they were just checking in to see if she was alright since she knew they couldn’t have received her letters yet. She pulled away from Jimmy as she heard her father say, “Mama thought we might have guests sometime soon, but she couldn’t be sure if you would come or not. Rachel, it is very nice to see you again. What brings you out here?” Rachel looked between Theresa and Jem, not sure how much the older woman had told her son about the letter or about Louise. She figured it best to be as vague as possible, “Since I hadn’t received any of those letters Louise here so faithfully promised to write,” she looked pointedly at Lou here as the young woman avoided her gaze and looked sheepishly at the ground, “I thought it best to come out to pay her a little visit. Teaspoon, the boys, and I were getting a bit concerned after we hadn’t heard from her. Jimmy drew the short straw and got to come as my escort. Although, between you and me, they had to draw straws since they all wanted to come.” Lou perked up at hearing this, before Jimmy added, “Everyone but Kid. He had a run to Ft. Kearney the next day, so he couldn’t come.” He saw the look of concern pass over Lou’s face, prompting him to lean over to whisper in her ear, “We didn’t tell him we were going.” She looked quickly up at his face. “You know he would have pushed us all aside if he knew about this little trip. Rachel and Teaspoon thought it best to keep it from him in case something, you know, had happened to you.” With that, Lou relaxed a bit next to her old friend. Jimmy looked down at the girl next to him and thought how different she looked. Sure, she still looked like the same old Lou, but she was somehow different. There was a certain glow about her that she didn’t have when she was one of the boys. Her hair was longer. Her figure was less boyish looking. How anyone ever thought she was a boy for all those months, he couldn’t comprehend. Not with the beautiful woman standing next to him. Lou turned to look at Jimmy, who had been staring at her. “What, Jimmy? Is there something wrong?” She asked. As he looked into her eyes, he could see it: the barest glint of sadness hiding in there. Try as she might, she couldn’t hide her sorrow from him. “Aw, nothing, Lou. I’m just happy to see you, is all,” he said putting an arm around her small shoulders. She put her arm around his waist as she pulled him with her towards the barn, grabbing Lightning’s reins on her way past. “Do you want to unhitch Sundancer and bring him to the barn?” Jimmy nodded, and quickly ran over to release his horse from the buckboard. Grabbing the reins, he led Sundancer behind Lou and into the barn. As Josiah and the other ranch hands came to remove the buckboard from the front drive, Jem led them all in the direction of the barn, using Merriweather to help pull the vehicle towards the back of the barn. Theresa and Rachel carried the bags onto the porch, happy to finally have a chance to talk privately. “Let’s get you settled in your room and I’ll get some tea ready. We can talk then. I have a feeling we have much to discuss,” Theresa said softly to Rachel as she led her into the house and up the stairs to the second floor guest rooms. Rachel was given the room on the left, while the room to the right at the back of the house would be for Jimmy. Once in the room, Rachel shut the door before she asked Theresa, “How has she been, really, Theresa? We had just made plans to come visit when your letter came. We left the next day. If she has been anything like Kid has been, I am sure the last few weeks have been difficult, to say the least.” Theresa walked over to the window, taking a deep breath before speaking, “Louise has been, I don’t really know how to put it, she’s been here, but not here? Physically she has been here, but mentally, she has been somewhere else. Jem and I had thought that Kid would have shown up by now, or at the very least written to her. She has confided in me a bit over the weeks she has been here, but I have been unable to get much out of her. Finally, this morning, I decided she had to talk to me whether she wanted to or not. I came to her room before anyone else was up. As usual, I found her getting sick.” Theresa paused as she looked over at Rachel who had joined her at the window. “Then she is, isn’t she? I thought as much from your letter. Is she aware of her condition?” Rachel asked. “Yes, she has been aware for a few weeks now. She told me this morning. I think she thought she could hide it, but having had three children myself, I knew the signs. She is very adamant that Kid not find out until he shows up here. Something about obligation or some such nonsense,” Theresa added, waving a dismissive hand at the notion. Rachel thought about that for a minute before crossing her arms and exhaling the breath she didn’t know she had been holding. “That sounds like Lou. While I disagree that it should be kept hidden from him, I understand why she doesn’t want him to know yet. If she told him now, he would absolutely come here so he could take care of her and the baby. She knows he would do the right thing. But to her, she would probably feel like she was trapping him. Knowing Lou as I do, she wants him to come here because he wants her and wants to be here, not because he has to be here.” Theresa nodded in agreement with everything Rachel had just said. “That sounds exactly like what Louise said to me this morning. I asked her to please write to him. Maybe her letters will help him come to see her. After our conversation this morning, she relented and asked me to send the stack of letters she had written to him and to you. I just sent them off this morning when I dropped the children off at school in town. Had I known, I would have just given them to you today,” she laughed a bit at the end of her statement. “Oh!” Rachel interjected. “I almost forgot! I have a letter for Louise here in my pocket. Kid gave it to me right before he left on his run, the day Jimmy and I left. Do you think I can leave it in Louise’s room or should I just give it to her?” “She should be joining us for tea after she finishes with Lightning. I would give it to her then. Only, maybe wait until she has eaten something first. I keep telling her to eat often, but she sometimes forgets. Then the nausea returns.” Pausing, Theresa headed to the door, “Why don’t you settle in while I go see to the tea. Come down to the parlor when you are ready. It’s at the bottom of the stairs and to the left.” Theresa glanced at Rachel in the bedroom before leaving the room, closing the door behind her. Rachel heard swift footsteps down the stairs before going to sit on the bed for a moment. How were they going to get these two to move past their stubbornness? She hoped Teaspoon’s plan worked. She would have to talk to Theresa later about how Kid could fit in here. Rachel entered the parlor to find Theresa and Louise waiting for her around a small tea table in the parlor. Louise was already nibbling on some finger sandwiches while Theresa was busy pouring tea into delicate cups. “Cream or sugar, Rachel?” she asked their guest. “Just sugar, please,” Rachel replied. “Where are Jem and Jimmy? Aren’t they going to join us?” Rachel asked. Theresa looked over at the woman now seated across from her as she slid a teacup across the table. “I thought it best if the men ate together out in the workers bunkhouse. That way we could have a little privacy. They will join us for dinner,” Theresa informed Rachel. Satisfied with the answer she received, Rachel turned to Lou who was busy wolfing down her third sandwich, “Tell me about what you’ve been doing around here for the last few months, Louise. It really is a beautiful place. Did I spy a cottage out back, down at the bottom of the hill?” Louise finished her sandwich and sipped some tea before she started enumerating on what she had been doing to fill her days. “Yes, there’s a cottage down there. I saw it from my bedroom window the first day here and have been going down there as often as I can. It is actually larger than it looks, probably because it’s covered in all those vines. I think they’re wisteria, you know. It must be beautiful in late spring and early summer when it’s in bloom. I can't wait to see it. Right now I have been cutting back some of the vines so the windows are clear. I looked around inside, but Pa and Grandma asked that I not go inside too much without one of them there. So, Pa has been coming down with me some afternoons to show me the inside. It needs work, but I think it could be beautiful. Grandma said Pa and Uncle Josiah wanted to tear it down when they bought the property, but she begged them not to. Thankfully, they listened. I could see myself living down there sometime. It is so peaceful down there, with the house right by a small lake. There are more willow trees down there. It reminds me of the pond back in Rock Creek.” Lou’s eye took on a dreamy look when she mentioned the pond she and Kid used to sneak away to. As tears started to fill her eyes, she quickly brushed them away and continued, “The cottage isn’t really a cottage at all. It has a large parlour, dining room, and kitchen, and I even found a library in there. Upstairs there are six bedrooms, most of them have a view of the lake. The rest look out on the hills and woods behind the house. Besides visiting the cottage, I ride almost every day around the ranch with Pa. I read some. Grandma has quite a few books I haven’t read, so there's that. And, I asked Mrs. Smith, she’s our cook, if she could teach me how to cook.” Louise grabbed another sandwich and began nibbling it as Theresa continued for her, “Louise has become quite the accomplished cook. Mrs. Smith loves working with her. Louise practically spends all morning holed up in the kitchen with her. I suspect some of our dinners have been cooked by our Louise here.” Rachel took note of the way Lou’s eyes lit up when she spoke about the cottage and learning to cook. She seems happy here, Rachel thought to herself as she helped herself to another sandwich. Louise was cooking and trying to clean up a house for herself? That sounded like she was trying to prepare herself for married life. She found something useful to occupy herself while she waited for Kid to figure things out. Louise, having finished her sandwich, drained the contents from her teacup before standing up and announcing, “Grandma, Rachel. I think I’m going to go take a nap for a little bit. All the excitement of the afternoon has made me rather sleepy. If you don't mind, I’ll see you at dinner?” And with that, she left the room and started heading up the stairs. “Lou!” Rachel called as she left her seat to follow in the girl’s path. Lou paused on the stairs and turned to look at Rachel, who had arrived at the bottom of the steps. Rachel slowly pulled a slightly crumpled letter from her skirt pocket before offering it to Lou. “Rachel, what is this?” Lou asked nervously. “Kid gave it to me. He had asked me to send it the day he left for Fort Kearney. He didn’t know I was coming here to see you. Since Jimmy and I were leaving the same day, I figured I would hand deliver it to you when I got here,” Rachel indicated the letter with her eyes and raised it a bit closer to Lou. Slowly, Lou extended her hand to grasp the letter before looking Rachel in the eye, relief evident in her eyes that it was from the one she missed so much. Rachel just smiled and returned to Theresa in the parlour. Clutching the letter to her chest, Lou bounded up the remaining stairs to her third floor abode. She burst through the door, quickly closing it behind her. Her fingers trembled in anticipation of what the letter might contain. Quickly dropping her shawl over the foot of the bed, Louise removed her blouse and skirt and unlaced her corset before they joined the shawl on the bed. Now that she could breathe, she crawled into bed, grabbing the familiar blue shirt in her arms before she turned her attention to the letter. Carefully breaking the seal on the envelope, she pulled the letter from within and unfolded the parchment, lovingly stroking the familiar scrawl of his handwriting. Taking a deep breath, she slowly began to read the letter. Rachel knocked quietly on the third floor door again, still waiting for an answer. Not hearing anything from the room’s occupant, she slowly turned the knob and opened the door a crack. She glanced inside the now dusky room. After closing the door behind her, she noticed the glow of the sunset flooding the room. No wonder she chose this room when she got here. It was almost magical in here with the colors from the panes of stained glass spreading their hues across the walls of the room. A soft breeze ran through the room from the slightly open window, fluttering the lace curtain in its wake. Her gaze moved to the prone figure lying snugly within the confines of the bed, a scrap of blue fabric peeking out from under the blankets. Lou was sound asleep, clutching Kid’s shirt in her arms, his letter within her relaxed hand, sprawled across her pillow. Rachel crept over to the side of the bed and noticed the dried tracks of tears on the sleeping girl’s cheeks. She fervently hoped the letter was what Lou had wanted to hear. Lowering herself to the edge of the bed, Rachel leaned over to gently rouse Louise from her slumber. Lou’s lashes fluttered open as she glanced groggily around the room. Her gaze settled on Rachel, perched on the side of her bed. “Rachel,” she said softly, “What are you doing here?” She carefully shoved the shirt under the quilt and gingerly pushed herself to a seated position, hoping the nausea didn't return with her movement. “I came to see if you were ready for dinner. But, I was hoping we could talk alone before we head down to join the others,” Rachel replied. Lou rubbed her eyes in an attempt to wipe the sleep from her eyes. She reached across the bed to grab her shawl that had slid further down a bit as she slept. Rachel, seeing what she was looking for, handed the shawl to her before continuing. “How are you feeling, Lou? Better after your nap? You’ve been up here for over three hours.” “I’m alright, Rachel.” “I see you read your letter. Was it what you were hoping for?” Lou slowly nodded her head before tears started to well in her eyes. She looked down at the letter she was still clutching in her lap before turning her gaze to Rachel’s. “Oh, Rachel! I was so worried he had forgotten about me.” Tears started streaming down her cheeks again. God, she thought to herself, she needed to get control over her emotions. She was a mess lately! “He still loves me and told me how desperately he misses me. He said he was going to come see me as soon as he could. Do you really think he is coming, Rachel?” “I don't think anything will keep him away from you now. You know, he tried to write to you many times since you left. I found the crumpled up sheets of paper swept under his bunk. He has been miserable without you around. The boys, Teaspoon and I could all see it.” “Really? I wonder why he finally decided to write?” “Teaspoon talked to him the night before he had to leave for Ft. Kearney. The next morning he gave me that letter.” Rachel felt it was best to keep the details of Teaspoon’s conversation with Kid to herself for now. Kid could explain himself when he got here. “Well, whatever he said to Kid, it must’ve worked, huh?” Rachel got up to gather Lou’s discarded clothing so she could help her dress for dinner. Louise got out of bed and started lacing her corset back up. Twisting the laces around, she presented her back to Rachel so she could fasten them. “Rachel... Do you think I should tell him? You know, about the…” “Don’t you think he has a right to know?” Rachel commented over Lou’s shoulder. Tying off the laces and tucking them inside, she turned Louise around to face her. “What are you afraid of, Louise?” “I don’t know,” she mumbled as she pulled her blouse back on and began fastening the buttons down the front. Pulling her skirt on and tucking her blouse into the waistband, Rachel stilled her hand from its work asking, “Yes, you do. What are you afraid of? Why wouldn’t you tell him?” “I don’t want him to hate me,” she said looking down where Rachel held her hands in hers. “Why would he hate you? You said his letter told you how much he loves you, didn’t it?” Lou nodded in agreement. “Then why would he hate you? From what I have seen, he thinks the sun, moon, and stars revolve around you. The Kid I have watched these last months since you left was not the same man as before. You’ll find out when he gets here, whenever that is. But, I would think you’ll see him before too long. Now let's get you downstairs for dinner. I’m starving and I’m sure you are too. Do I need to remind you that you need to eat?” Lou nodded in agreement and headed for the bathing chamber to splash some water on her face to hide the evidence of her tears. Coming back into her room, she carefully folded Kid’s letter and placed it within the drawer of her night table. Lou quickly tugged a brush through her disheveled hair before slipping her feet into her shoes. She led Rachel out of her room in search of food. Dinner that night was a festive affair with the two visitors from Rock Creek joining them. Theresa and Jem sat at opposite ends of the table with Jeremiah and little Theresa sitting on either side of their grandmother. Rachel was seated next to little Theresa while Josiah sat across from her, next to Jeremiah. Louise was seated next to her father, with Jimmy next to her. Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Landry sat across from Louise and her express friend. Everyone was happy to hear stories of the express from Jimmy and Louise and occasionally from Rachel. Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Landry couldn’t understand how Louise was able to hide her true identity from everyone at the way station, especially after Rachel announced she had figured it out right away. “Teaspoon was the last to find out,” Jimmy informed the table. “Oh, Jimmy, tell us how you all figured it out,” begged little Theresa, wiggling around in her seat in anticipation. “Well,” he started, “Lou will have to tell you how Kid discovered her secret since he knew before anyone else. He refused to tell us when we asked, and we asked him about it a lot. Maybe your sister can share the details of that with all of us.” He turned to Louise, noticing her face turning a bright shade of crimson. Jimmy just smirked at her and went on with his story, “We, the rest of the riders, found out your Lou was a she and not a he when Boggs announced he had two daughters and one son while he held a gun on me. Kid was there trying to get Lou out of there with Jeremiah and Theresa here.” Theresa perked up at the mention of her name. “I remember that,” she said. “He was a bad man and tried to shoot Louise. Kid saved her,” little Theresa said proudly, her face beaming at being included in adult conversation for once. “That’s right, he did, Theresa,” Jimmy commented, looking over at Louise who now had her head bowed and her hands placed in her lap. Rachel had told him to mention Kid a few times at dinner to try to get Lou talking about him, but right now he wasn’t so sure this was a good idea. “Anyway, by the time we got to the orphanage to drop you two off, the rest of the riders were filled in with the knowledge that their brother was really their sister. I still remember the look on Kid’s face that day. He looked like the cat who ate the canary when I told them the truth about her. That led to everyone trying to figure out how he knew and when he figured it out,” Jimmy finished. Theresa then asked him, “But how come none of you ever told Teaspoon?” Jimmy just looked at the woman before answering, “Lou had proven herself by then and we didn’t see the need to tell him. She needed the job and it was better than the alternatives open to her. Plus, we liked having her around. She was our sister and we could ask her stuff about girls without it getting too awkward. Plus, if Teaspoon found out, he would have had to fire her. The job was for boys only, orphans preferred. He was supposed to fire her when he found out.” “So how did Teaspoon find out then, if none of you told him?” Mrs. Smith asked. She still couldn’t believe this wisp of a girl managed to masquerade as a boy for almost two years. Jimmy and Lou traded glances before she nodded to him, giving him permission to tell everyone. “It was a hot day about a year ago. One of those Indian summer days right before the cold air descended upon us. Anyway, there was a watering hole outside Sweetwater, where we were posted back then. Since it was so hot, we all decided it was a good day for a swim. We obviously couldn't all go together, so me and the other riders let Lou go first while we waited a ways away. We could still hear her in case there was trouble. So there we were, hot and sweating in the field while Lou got to cool off in the water when we heard screaming. We all grabbed our guns and ran to the watering hole in time to see Teaspoon swimming after Lou trying to get her to swim with him. She was having no part of it, trying to swim in the furthest direction from where he was. Next thing we know, Teaspoon is swimming under water towards her before he burst out of the water yelling at her. Before we knew it, we were all sitting in his sweat lodge helping him to understand why he didn’t notice,” Jimmy concluded. “You mean Teaspoon saw her…” little Theresa asked with her eyebrows raised so high they were hidden by her hair. Lou looked at her little sister and just nodded her head in embarrassment. Little Theresa clapped her hands over her mouth in an attempt to hide her laughter. Lou just shook her head before joining the rest of the table in laughter. Looking back, it was pretty funny. The laughter continued until Jem asked, “So, Louise, how did Kid become the first to know?” She looked over at her father, not really sure she wanted to share this information with him. She looked over at Jimmy who looked beyond curious. Shaking her head in consternation, Lou looked at her father again before stating, “Nope. If Kid isn’t gonna share it then neither will I. You will have to wait for him to tell you.” Her fierce determination was back shining brightly in her eyes. Jem looked at his daughter’s determined look and realized something had changed this afternoon, although at that specific moment, he didn’t know what it was. Jem decided he would help his daughter out a bit by changing the subject. “Jimmy, you wouldn’t happen to know anyone that would be interested in a job here at the ranch would you? Josiah and I have been looking to hire a new foreman and some more ranch hands. We’ve been growing so much lately it has been hard to find capable people to work here. Any of the riders from your station might be interested?” Jem asked his guest. Jimmy, sensing where this was coming from, replied, “Buck and Noah have been talking about starting their own ranch, but I am not sure they have enough money to do that yet. Kid had mentioned joining them a few times, at least he did before Lou left us. He hasn’t mentioned much of anything recently.” “What do you mean, Jimmy,” Jem asked. Rachel shot Jimmy a sharp look warning him to end this conversation. Jimmy nodded imperceptibly at her before turning back to Jem in response, “He just hasn’t been himself lately. But if you’re looking for someone to hire, any of them would probably be interested. Teaspoon taught us all to work hard and we all have experience with horses. Plus, they’re all quick learners. Do you want me to mention it to them when we get back?” Jem nodded, hoping that he could get Kid here sooner rather than later. He just wanted his little girl to be happy and that young man seemed to be what she needed. He thought back to the sight of them clinging to each other the day Louise left Rock Creek with them. Neither one of them looked eager to let the other go. But let go they did, and he had been living with Louise’s despair ever since. From what Mama had told him earlier, Rachel had been living with similar despair from Kid back at the way station. He knew Mama and Rachel were trying to help Louise and Kid out, and he figured he could help by offering the young man a job. Maybe that would help them all out. He could lighten the workload here at the ranch, while providing employment to the man that might become his son-in-law. He would have to talk to Mama and Rachel later tonight. Dinner conversation continued onto life on the ranch and the goings on around Benton. “Benton, you said,” Rachel asked with an amused smile on her face. Josiah replied, “Yes. It is the closest town to the ranch. We had some trouble oh, about six, seven months ago, was it, Jem,” He paused while his brother nodded before continuing, “ Some outlaws had robbed the bank and stole all the town’s gold. Luckily, our deputy, Hack was able to track it down with some help. Amanda O’Connell, the saloon owner in town was kidnapped because she had some connection with the marshal that was going to take one of the outlaws for hanging. We never did get to thank the men who helped bring down that gang.” At the mention of Hack, Louise took one look at Jimmy before she burst out laughing. Jimmy just rolled his eyes at her outburst. “I guess now’s your chance to sign his book, Jimmy,” she said as she clutched her stomach with laughter. Josiah and Jem looked between Jimmy and Lou. “Do you know Hack?” Jem asked the pair. “Mmm-hmmm,” said Lou between giggles. “You could say that,” Jimmy said at the same time. Josiah realized something was up and figured there was a story here, so he asked the duo, “How do you know Hack?” Lou looked at Jimmy before telling him, “go ahead, tell them. This is gonna be great.” Crossing his arms, Jimmy sighed, leaned back in his chair, then he proceeded to tell the group how he and Lou had met Hack. “He brought Emory Pike to Sweetwater so Teaspoon could deliver him for hanging. Buck and I left with Hack to bring Pike to his date with the hangman. Meanwhile, Teaspoon received a message that Amanda was kidnapped and was being held for ransom. Frank Pike, Emory’s brother, wanted to exchange Amanda for Emory. Needless to say, nothing went according to plan, Emory Pike cheated death, and Lou ended up in the middle of everything, so we had to get her and Amanda out of there. In the end, Pike’s gang was either dead or rounded up and Amanda and Hack found the missing gold.” Lou looked at her uncle, saying, “There always seemed to be trouble around, Uncle Josiah.” “Once Teaspoon became marshal, he was always deputizing us to take us on missions with him,” Jimmy added, wryly. Jem just looked at the young visitor and at his daughter and wondered how much danger she had really been in over the last few years. She didn’t share too much about her time on her own between the orphanage and when they found her a few months ago. Now, sitting here listening to Jimmy’s tales, he suspected it was much more than he really wanted to know. Theresa noticed that everyone had finished eating a while ago, so she stood to begin clearing the table. Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Landry, and Lou left their seats to help clear everything away to the kitchen. Lou reminded Jeremiah and little Theresa that it was time for bed, at which point they reluctantly dragged themselves upstairs to get ready for bed. Seeing the late hour, Jem and Josiah excused themselves to see to the horses, leaving Rachel and Jimmy alone in the dining room. Lou reappeared in the dining room telling Rachel that her grandmother wished to see her in the kitchen. Jimmy took the opportunity to approach Lou. “You wanna go for a walk for a little bit before we turn in?”he asked her. “Sure, let me just go get my shawl,” Lou said before running upstairs to retrieve her shawl from her bed before quickly returning to the foyer where Jimmy was waiting for her. “Where should we go? You know this place better than I do.” “How about we walk around the lake for a little bit. We don’t have to go far, but it is quiet out there, and no one will disturb us,” Lou suggested. Wrapping her shawl around her shoulders she opened the front door before leading Jimmy onto the porch in the direction of the lake. They had been walking for a few minutes before Jimmy started, “You look different, Lou.” “What do you mean?”she asked, turning her head up to look at him as they walked. “Don’t get me wrong, you still look like you, only different. Like you are more you now then you were when you were still my brother.” “Well, I am sure the change of clothes helps that,” she said drily. “But it's more than that. You seem happier and more peaceful here than you ever did when you were with the express.” “Maybe it's that I don’t have to worry about anyone finding out about me anymore. Plus, and don’t let Kid ever hear this, but I kind of missed wearing dresses and feeling like a girl.” “I think you should tell him yourself when you see him. But, if it makes you feel better, I promise I won’t say anything,” Jimmy said, shaking his head. “Thank you. Will you tell me, honestly, how he’s been, Jimmy?” Lou asked as she slipped her arm beneath his and leaned her head on his shoulder. Things were always easy to talk about with Jimmy, especially when Kid was the topic of conversation. “I ain’t gonna lie to you, Lou. It’s been a rough few months since you been gone. Kid hasn’t been himself. He pretty much keeps to himself most days. He goes on his runs and does his chores, but it’s like this dark storm cloud just hovers over him constantly. He misses you. He won’t say it, but I know he does,” Jimmy stopped walking to look over at Lou. She was gazing out over the surface of the lake. “Jimmy, I miss him, too. I miss him so much, it hurts,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “Why won’t he just come get me? Since I’m a girl now, I can’t just leave here on my own to come get him,” Lou continued, forlornly. “Cheer up,” Jimmy said, lifting her face to look at his, “I have no doubt that he will show up here. Has he ever been able to stay away from you?” At his words, Jimmy could see the blush fill her cheeks. She was thinking about something that he wasn’t sure he wanted to be privy to. When Lou started to shiver from the breeze coming off the lake, he started walking her back towards the house. Once they were on the second floor landing, he pulled her into a hug and whispered, “Sleep well tonight. Tomorrow is a new day, maybe you’ll be surprised and see another familiar face around here. Kid must have reached Ft Kearney by now, and Teaspoon asked him to deliver some message to Amanda in Benton. Josiah said that’s just an hour from here. Do you really think he will stop in Benton and then go straight back to Rock Creek.” At Jimmy’s mention of Teaspoon’s special errand, Lou jumped back to look at Jimmy. He wasn't supposed to mention that errand to Lou, but apparently he just did. “What did you say, Jimmy? What errand?” she asked with her hands planted firmly on her hips. Seeing the stubborn look on her face, Jimmy was glad that he didn’t know any of the details of Teasapoon’s little errand. So he could truthfully answer the woman in front of him when he said, “I have no idea what this errand is about. I just overheard Teaspoon mention it to Kid before handing him a note right before he left.” Lou still stood there, tapping her one toe on the wood floor, raising her eyebrow in disbelief. “I swear, Lou. That’s all I know!” Jimmy exclaimed, holding his hands in the air in a sign of surrender. “If you are lying to me Jimmy Hickock, I will not be happy with you,” Lou said before turning and stomping up to her room. Jimmy stood there watching her retreating figure climb the last flight of stairs to the third floor, hoping he didn’t say too much. And, hoping that Rachel wouldn’t be upset with him. He quickly retired to his room for the night, praying that Kid showed up here in the next day or so. Once the house was settled for the night, Lou, cozily ensconced in her white nightgown and tucked into bed, decided to pull out the letter for one more read before she allowed sleep to overtake her for the night. She whispered the words out loud to herself while she stroked her swollen belly, telling herself that he would be here in just a few days. She hoped. For the first time in weeks, she had renewed hope that Kid would come for her. It was the last thought in her mind as she blew out the lamp, rolled over, his blue shirt held tightly against her chest, and fell into a peaceful slumber. Chapter 7 Lou woke the next morning to bright sunshine streaming in her bedroom windows and a new sense of purpose. Kid might be here soon and she needed to get ready. She hopped out of bed and ran into her bathing chamber, splashing cold water in her face before trying to find the skirt and blouse she wanted to wear today. She was rooting through her dresser when she felt the waves of nausea starting to build in her empty stomach. Scampering back to the bathing chamber, she quickly found the chamber pot waiting to receive her daily offering. After she was spent, Lou rinsed her mouth out with water before returning to the task of dressing for the day. She pulled her pantalettes on and her chemise, which was beginning to show strain at the buttons from her increasing breasts. She might have to go into town soon to see about getting a new one, one with a little more room. Moving onto her corset, she laced it up, skipping the holes below her waist allowing her growing abdomen some relief from the tightness. Her soft, blue blouse was donned, followed by the navy skirt that was her favorite to wear. Kid always liked her in blue. With the knowledge that he may be on his way to her, she had to be ready. She grabbed her stockings and boots and ran to the top of her stairs before sitting down on the top step to get them on. Lou rapidly descended the stairs, rushing to see Mrs. Smith in the kitchen. She wanted to help prepare dinner for tonight. And, she needed to eat something before she became ill again. “Good morning, Mrs. Smith!” she said brightly upon entering the kitchen this morning. “Good morning, Louise! You’re up early this morning. Can I help you with anything? I have your herbal tea and biscuits here for you,” she said lightly. Louise sat at the prep table in the kitchen to sip her tea and nibble on the biscuits, sending the green waves of nausea away. “How are you feeling this morning, dearie,” the kindly cook asked Louise. “I was wondering if I could help prepare dinner this evening. I have reason to believe we may have another guest joining us tonight,” she responded with a new twinkle in her eye and a sheepish grin on her face. Mrs. Smith turned to examine Lou’s face with scrutiny. She is definitely up to something if the look on her face was telling her anything. “What can I help you with, dearie? Who should we expect for dinner, or is that a secret?” Lou sipped her tea and watched the cook over the rim of her tea cup. When Mrs. Smith stopped what she was doing to look at Lou, she saw a huge grin spread across her face. She looked all lit up inside. This was definitely a look she had never seen before. Despair, yes. Vacancy, too. But this ebullient happiness was new. Theresa and Jem would be happy to hear about this. She just hoped the girl wasn’t setting herself up for disappointment. Mrs. Smith wasn’t sure if Lou would recover from any more heartbreak in her life. Mrs. Smith and Louise had their heads pulled tightly together as Theresa and then Mrs. Landry entered the kitchen, eager to start the day. “Louise, darling! You’re up early this morning. Are you feeling alright?” Theresa worriedly hurried over to her granddaughter. The gleaming look on Lou’s face, stopped her in her tracks. What was going on with her today? Had something happened around here that she was unaware of? “Did I miss something?” she asked the other three in the room. Mrs. Landry had come in with her, so she obviously didn’t know anything. “Louise, Mrs. Smith, what is going on here?” Theresa figured direct was the best approach. Mrs. Smith was the first to speak. “Louise asked if she could help prepare dinner this evening. She seems to think we may have a visitor tonight,” she said as she gave a knowing look to Theresa. Theresa looked at her granddaughter, with a frown of confusion on her face before asking, “Louise, darling, what are you talking about? Have you received word that we should be expecting someone today?” She was so afraid Louise would be disappointed again when this mystery guest was a no show. Louise hopped off the stool she was sitting on and came over to her grandmother. “Grandma, I think he may be coming soon and I want to be ready. That’s all. Besides, I thought everyone liked it when I cooked?” Lou asked, the increasing worry showing on her face. “Of course, Louise. If you want to make dinner with Mrs. Smith, I am all for it. I just don’t want you to be disappointed if he doesn’t show up today,” Theresa tried to be gentle in her comments to her granddaughter. She was just starting to show signs of coming out of her despair. That young man had better show up, and soon, or Theresa didn’t think Louise would continue to hold a vigil for him. Disappointment was a hard thing to contend with. “Well, carry on then. We should have some breakfast soon. How are things coming Mrs. Smith?” “I made oatmeal this morning since we had a lot in the pantry and I wanted to use it up before it goes bad,” Mrs. Smith stated as she went over to the stove to stir the enormous pot of the glutinous cereal. Lou, catching the aroma of oatmeal as the cook lifted the lid, sprinted from the kitchen, out into the garden before she lost the tea and biscuits she had just eaten. When she was finished, gentle hands stroked her back and she turned to see her father there to guide her back to the house. “Still sick, I see,” Jem said, raising his eyebrows as he questioned her. Lou could only nod her head. “Louise, you need to start taking better care of yourself. Mooning over that boy is not going to help you. You need to stop worrying about him and move on with your life. All this worry is not good for you. Clearly, you’re making yourself sick over him.” Lou just stopped and stared at her father. Theresa, Mrs. Smith, and Mrs. Landry watched from the kitchen doorway, mouths agape at what Jem just said to his offspring. Theresa stormed out of the kitchen towards her son and granddaughter. She had to stop Louise before she said too much. “Jem, enough of that talk. Go find your brother. Breakfast is almost ready,” she said to her son. Turning her conversation to her irate granddaughter, she said, “Louise, sweetheart, come inside and have some breakfast to settle your stomach,” she wrapped an arm around Lou’s shoulders, practically dragging the girl into the house. “Jem, go!” she commanded her son who seemed rooted to the spot. Jem, finally coming to his senses, strode off angrily to the barn in search of Josiah. Louise allowed herself to be steered into the kitchen again, while Mrs. Smith brought a tray with the tea and biscuits to her. “Why don’t you have breakfast here this morning. The rest of us can have the oatmeal in the dining room so you don’t have to smell it,” Theresa soothed her. The tears had returned in force this time, as Lou looked at her grandmother. “How could he say those things to me, Grandma? Doesn’t he know how I feel? Doesn’t he remember?” she sobbed between her tears. Theresa ran her hand up and down the girl’s back, soothing her while she said, “Jem remembers. He’s just hoping that this is just some passing fancy and not real love. He’s afraid of losing you so soon after finding you again. Try not to dwell on what he said. If you say Kid will show up, then I have faith that he will. You know him better than anyone else, darling. Trust in that and you will be fine.” Theresa continued to sit with Louise until her crying stopped and she was able to again consume the tea and biscuits. She motioned to Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Landry to get everything settled in the dining room for breakfast. They would have to be reminded about the no oatmeal rule again so this didn’t happen again. Breakfast finished, Jem and Josiah offered to take Jeremiah and little Theresa into town for school. They intended to post some notices in town looking for ranch hands. Once the oatmeal was cleaned up, Louise returned to the kitchen to spend the morning baking bread and starting the beef stew she was making for dinner. Mrs. Smith bustled around the kitchen preparing lunch and occasionally helping Louise with her meal preparation. Once the men returned from town, lunch was eaten and cleared. Mrs. Smith offered to keep an eye on the stew if Louise wanted to go do something else. Louise agreed, promising to be back in time to finish dinner. Doffing her apron, she grabbed her shawl from her room before walking down to the cottage. It was a warmer than usual day, especially for so late in October, but Lou was glad to feel the sun on her face as she made the long walk across the field to where the cottage sat guarding the small lake. Upon her arrival at the cottage, she promptly disappeared inside the old abode and headed to the small library, hidden on the left side of the house by all the brambles. She noticed the light coming in through the front window and thought her father must’ve cleared the vines away one morning since she had last been here. She loved the little house and liked to imagine the house restored to its former glory as she read to her six children one of the stories from the library. There was an old, dusty stuffed chair still in the room, and Lou grabbed the lone book from the shelf before settling herself in it. Opening the book, she noticed that it was another one of Jane Austen’s books, Mansfield Park. Deciding she could use a good story, she turned to chapter one and began reading. She wasn’t sure what time it was when she awakened from her impromptu nap, but judging by the color in the sky, it had to be getting late. The sun was going to set soon and she was going to be late for dinner. What if she missed him? No, surely Rachel or Jimmy would have kept him there until she could get back. She hopped off the chair, returned the book to its spot on the shelf, grabbed her shawl and left the house. She ran as fast as she could through the field, barring the fact that her breathing was constricted by this infernal corset. She missed the days when she didn’t have to wear this torture device. But she had to admit, it did accentuate all her new curves. Bursting through the kitchen door, she paused in the doorway to catch her breath. Mrs. Smith was startled by her sudden appearance, she jumped in the spot she was standing in by the stove. “Nice to see you, Louise,” she said, noticing the disheveled appearance of the young girl. She had clearly fallen asleep somewhere and lost track of time. Judging by the direction she was coming from, Lou had probably been in the run-down cottage again. “Well, Louise,” she said, handing her apron back to her before continuing, “We have a dining room full of people waiting for their dinner. Your grandmother and I have been stalling them as long as we could, but they are getting impatient.” Louise rolled her eyes as she rolled up her sleeves to get everything ready to serve. Running into the pantry, she called out to the cook, “Mrs. Smith, have you seen the toureen lately? I can’t find it in here!” “It’s already out here, Louise. I pulled it out this afternoon when you were visiting that cottage. It’s all washed and ready to go,” Mrs. Smith called back. Louise appeared in the doorway of the pantry before rushing over to the stove, grabbing the ladle and began spooning the thick, rich broth into the basin. Once that task was complete, she turned her attention to slicing the bread. Mrs. Smith carried the butter out of the pantry and placed it on the butter dish after unwrapping it from the muslin that held it. Once Louise was satisfied that everything was ready, she grabbed the platter of bread and headed to the dining room door. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she turned around and using her backside, pushed the door open. Upon her entrance to the dining room, everyone gathered around the table stopped their conversation to glance at the newcomer. Lou scanned the room looking for those familiar blue eyes. Her face quickly fell when she didn’t find who she was looking for. Mrs. Smith, coming right behind her with the tureen, tried to gently nudge Lou further into the room. Louise quickly broke her silent reverie and placed the bread on the table before returning to the kitchen to retrieve the butter. She found the butter sitting on the work table. She reached for the plate as silent tears started to run down her cheeks. Leaning her hands on the table, Lou hung her head and let the tears fall. She could hear light conversation coming from the next room, but couldn’t bring herself to go back. All she kept thinking was, he didn’t come. He said he would come, but he didn’t come. She tore off the apron, grabbed her shawl that was still hanging on the peg by the kitchen door, and ran out the door. She ran until she was far away from the house. Ran until she couldn’t see the lights from the barn any more. Ran until she felt her stomach cramping from her effort, before she crumpled onto the ground. She clutched her shawl around her head and buried her face in her hands, helpless to stop the tears anymore. She hardly felt the damp grass under her skirts nor the rain as it started to fall on her quaking form. Back in the house, dinner had been served, almost, and this was worrying all the adults at the table. Even Jeremiah and little Theresa were wondering what had happened to their sister. “Let me go see what’s keeping her,” Theresa volunteered, rising from the table and heading towards the kitchen. She knew something was wrong when she found the kitchen empty. She noticed the butter sitting on the work table and the missing shawl by the door, her heart dropped into her stomach. Louise must have bolted in her grief. She had to alert the others to the situation. “Jem, Josiah, Rachel!” she shouted as she rushed back to the dining room. “She’s gone! Her shawl is missing and the kitchen door is open! It’s starting to rain and she shouldn’t be out there in the dark!” At Theresa’s words, Jimmy jumped from the table to help with the search. “I’ll check the barn,” he shouted, “make sure Lightning is still in his stall.” Jem was up instantly rushing to his mother’s side, “She couldn’t have gone far, she hasn’t been gone that long. Stay here, Mama. Josiah, Jimmy and I will split up and find her. She probably went to the cottage. You know how much she likes it there,” he said in an attempt to calm his mother’s nerves as well as his own. She nodded her head in approval, before turning to at least get the children fed while she and the other women waited. “I just can’t imagine what set her off like this. She seemed so happy earlier today. What could have changed?” Rachel said. She had seen Lou busily working in the kitchen this morning when she went looking for her. She seemed so content she ended up walking around the lake with Jimmy instead. Mrs. Smith interjected, “I think I know what happened.” Rachel looked at the cook waiting to hear what had transpired. Theresa just sat shaking her head while Jeremiah and little Theresa wolfed down their dinner. “She was convinced we were going to have another guest for dinner tonight, that was why she went to all this trouble to make dinner tonight,” Mrs. Smith stated plainly. “I think she was hoping her young man would show up tonight,” she added sadly. Her eyes fell to her lap as she felt sorry for the young woman. Theresa was the first to respond, “Well, it seems a shame to let all her hard work be for nothing. Why don’t we at least eat something. I’ll go check on the remaining stew in the kitchen. The men will be hungry when they get back, and so will Louise, even if she won't admit it.” Just then, Jimmy and Josiah came through the front door. “She wasn’t in the barn or around the lake,” Jimmy announced as Josiah leaned against the door frame trying to catch his breath. “Has Jem returned yet?” Josiah asked. He knew he had headed towards the cottage. Exchanging glances with Jimmy, both men headed towards the kitchen to go find Jem. They were halfway across the field, when they saw Jem trudging towards the two men. It looked like he was carrying something. As they got closer to him, they realized he was carrying Lou. She was shivering from the cold and rain. Jem burst through the kitchen door and immediately headed for the foyer stairs. He took them two at a time until he reached her attic room. Theresa and Rachel, hearing the commotion from the kitchen raced up behind him in time to see him sitting her on her bed. He slowly backed out of the room, leaving Theresa and Rachel to take over. The two women set to work immediately pulling the soggy garments from her petite frame. Theresa left briefly to grab towels from the bathing chamber and a nightgown from the dresser. Pulling her camisole over her head, Rachel quickly dropped the dry nightgown over her head. Lou reluctantly pushed her arms through the sleeves. Theresa used the towel to dry her hair a bit. Together, they helped her into bed and covered her with her blankets. They pulled the extra quilt up from the foot of the bed to ensure she stayed warm overnight. Lou was asleep in no time, her mind and body spent from her tears. Theresa gathered the wet garments and carried them into the bathing chamber, where she spread them over the chair and tub to dry overnight. Turning the lamp down to a soft glow, she ushered Rachel from the room, saying a prayer that Kid showed up soon. When they arrived downstairs again, the men were just finishing up dinner. Mrs. Landry was bustling the children up to bed, while Mrs. Smith was cleaning up what she could from the ruined dinner. Theresa and Rachel joined the men in the dining room to try to figure out what to do next. “Short of finding him and dragging him back here, there’s nothing we can do but wait,” Jem said, resigned. “I have half a mind to do just that. Maybe if he saw what he’s doing to her by staying away, it would knock some sense into him,” Jimmy retorted. Theresa looked at both men. “She wouldn’t want that, and both of you know it. She wants him to come on his own. We have no choice but to wait,” she said softly. Everyone sat in silence, feeling the weight of Theresa's words. Waiting could be agony. Mrs. Smith returned from the kitchen to gather the remaining dishes from the table when Rachel and Theresa decided to join her. After all, being busy was better than just sitting and waiting. With the women assembled in the kitchen to clean up from the meal, the men decided to check on the horses one last time for the night. They slowly went out the front door and headed for the barn, when they heard the sound of a lone rider coming into the valley. “I wonder who that could be at this hour,” Josiah said. Eyeing the rain falling in sheets now, he added, “...and in this weather. Must be mighty important.” The men on either side of him just shrugged their shoulders in dismissal. Whoever it was, they were probably just passing through. Jem and Josiah, not recognizing the horse or the rider from so far a distance, turned and disappeared into the barn. Jimmy, however, kept his eyes trained on the rider coming over the last hill, hoping beyond hope that it was who they all wanted it to be. The rain was starting to pick up, but Jimmy would have recognized that horse anywhere. A smile formed on his features as he shook his head in relief. He had to have ridden hard to get here today, riding all the way from Ft. Kearney this morning. Jimmy moved closer to the house as the rider galloped the last quarter mile up the road. Finally, he was here! “Good to see you, Kid,” Jimmy said as he took Katy’s reins and Kid jumped out of the saddle. “You missed all the excitement, my friend,” he continued. Kid just looked at Jimmy in disbelief. “What are you doing here? I thought you were in Rock Creek with Teaspoon?” Kid asked. “What do you mean, I missed all the excitement? Is something wrong? Is Lou alright?” The longer he stared at Jimmy’s face the more concerned he got. “I’ll explain later. For now, let’s get Katy settled in the barn before I spring you on everyone in the house,” Jimmy said as he led Katy and Kid into the barn. Jem and Josiah were just finishing up when they saw Jimmy enter the barn bringing with him an unfamiliar horse and its wet, bedraggled rider. “Well, men, got room for one more?” Jimmy grinned at Jem and Josiah as he led Katy into the first empty stall he saw. Jem took one look at the man striding in behind Jimmy and rushed over to greet him, “Kid?” he asked, thinly veiled hope in his eyes. He had only seen the man briefly the day he left Rock Creek. “You are Kid, aren’t you?” he asked again. Jimmy piped up from the stall as he removed Katy’s saddle, “Yeah, he is.” “That is one fine horse you get there young man. Any chance you’re looking for a job,” Josiah asked the wet man standing in the middle of his barn. “You seem an excellent judge of horseflesh and we are looking for a ranch foreman.” “Josiah,” Jem hissed at his brother, “would you be quiet for a minute. This is Kid. You know, Louise’s Kid, so stop talking , for the love of God. Let the man get his horse settled.” Turning back to Kid, he asked, “You must be hungry after travelling all the way from Ft Kearney today. We just finished dinner a little while ago. My brother’ll go see if the women can heat something up for you. How about it?” “You should say yes, Kid, dinner was mighty tasty tonight,” Jimmy encouraged as he brought Katy’s bridle back to the tack room and returned with a curry comb and a bag of oats. “Sure, that would be great. Thank you, sir,” Kid said nervously. He wanted these people to like him before he waltzed in and took their daughter away. Because if he was sure of one thing, he knew he was never leaving Lou’s side again. Jem sent his brother up to the house with strict instructions to inform the women that they were going to have a guest for the night. A rider came in, seeking shelter for his horse and a place to sleep tonight before he would be on the road again in the morning. He wanted to be there when he brought Kid into the house tonight. Hopefully, Louise was sleeping, although, knowing his daughter, she would be furious if she wasn’t woken up with this news. He would have to wait and see. One thing at a time. He returned to watching how Kid handled his paint mare as he brushed her down for the night. The young man seemed to have a way with horses and would be an asset to the ranch, if only he could convince him to stay. He knew in that instant that he would do his damnedest to make sure that happened. Walking back to the tack room to return the brush, Kid slung his saddlebag over his shoulder and met Jimmy and Jem at the barn entrance. Jimmy looked over at Kid before saying, “You ready for this?” Kid looked at him with a twinkle in his eye and smiled. He was beyond ready for this. Even though he was tired, cold, wet, and hungry, the only thing that mattered was pulling Lou into his arms again. Jem looked between the two younger men and started running through the steady rain to the house. The women had just decided to head up to bed, when Josiah ran through the front door, ranting about some rider on the road who needed a place to stay for the night. Theresa, who had dismissed Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Landry for the night some time ago, headed back to the kitchen with Rachel to heat up a bowl of stew for the weary traveller. Rachel grabbed some bread and butter. “Who would be out this late on a night like tonight,” she wondered aloud. “Probably someone who’s lost. We get them here every so often. Best to feed them and send them on their way. He can sleep with the other hired hands in the bunkhouse tonight if he needs a bed,” Theresa replied. “Well, after the excitement of tonight, I for one am plumb worn out. Is it bad that I hope they eat and leave so we can all go to bed?” Rachel muttered. “Is that stew ready yet, I hear people in the dining room,” she added. “It is now, let me ladle it into a clean bowl and we can bring it into the man,” Theresa stated with finality. The two women carried the bread, butter and stew through the doorway into the dining room, when Rachel stopped short, her eyes widening in surprise. Jimmy ran over to grab the plate of bread and butter she was about to drop in her surprise. “Kid!” Rachel exclaimed, clapping her hand over her mouth. Theresa, quickly pushed Rachel all the way into the dining room when she saw what had caused her friend such alarm. Rachel was over to Kid in a second, pulling his wet body into a welcoming hug. “You made it! She’ll be so happy to see you,” she whispered into his damp hair. Rachel hurried Kid into a chair, Theresa placed the stew in front of him, while Jimmy added the plate of bread. Picking up the spoon Theresa held out for him, Kid hungrily started devouring the warm beef stew. “This is delicious,” he said to no one in particular. “Wait til you hear who made this dinner,” Jimmy smirked at him. Kid was too hungry to read too much into Jimmy’s comment. He was just happy he was here and there was food, and very good food at that. Theresa and Jem started quietly arguing with each other in the foyer outside the dining room. “Where is he going to sleep tonight, mama? I don’t want to leave him in the barn or with the other hands. And Josiah already left for home. I don’t want to disturb him again tonight,” Jem started. “We have two choices, Jem. He can either room with Jimmy tonight, or…” Theresa paused and placed her hand on her son’s chest before continuing. Jem looked at her hand before settling back on her face. He knew that look. It meant she was going to say something he was not going to like. “Or, Mama. Or what?” “Or, we can send him right up to Louise, shut the door, and go to bed,” Theresa finished, waiting for her son to explode. “What! I know you are not suggesting my unmarried daughter spend the night with him in her room! Mama, that would be highly improper!” Theresa raised her eyebrows at her son as she looked at him with disbelief. “Do I need to remind you about you and Mary? You weren’t married if I recall correctly, but that didn’t stop you. Louise wouldn’t be here if it had,” Theresa looked sternly at her son. Jem rifled his hands through his hair. He couldn’t believe his mother was even suggesting this, but to remind him of his indiscretions with Mary right now. This was his daughter, his little girl. “Mama, what happened between Mary and me is the exact reason why I can not let that young man into my daughter's room tonight. They haven’t seen each other in months, what do you think will happen if we send him in there as you so eloquently stated?” “Jem, are you so naive to think that even if he shares a room with Jimmy tonight, that he will actually stay there? Everyone in this house knows what room is hers, Jimmy will draw him a map if he has to,” Theresa was trying so hard to not just blurt out that it no longer mattered if they shared a room. This was not the way to inform her son or the young man busy eating at her table of her granddaughter’s condition. She had faithfully promised not to reveal any information about it to anyone outside of herself and Rachel. “Anyway, she slept in a room with six other men for over a year and a half, Kid being one of them.” “Yes, but she’s not his sister anymore and there are not five other men in there with them. Mama, I shouldn’t have to spell this out to you. Do you want Louise to end up like Mary?” At Theresa's shake of her head, Jem continued, “I just want them married first, is that too much to ask?” “No, it’s not too much to ask. But do you honestly think you keeping them apart tonight will keep them apart until the wedding? I’m sure they did not spend all of their nights in that bunkhouse. I would venture to guess that they figured out ways to sneak off away from the prying eyes of their brothers so they could be alone.” Theresa was starting to get annoyed with her son right now. “If you don’t relent, I will point the way to her room myself! That young man just rode more miles than I can count today just to get to her side. Are you going to deny him? Are you going to deny your daughter who, if you remember, you had to go out and find tonight because she was so distraught because he…” she pointed to Kid, “hadn’t arrived yet?” At this point, Theresa saw she was getting nowhere with her son, and Kid was sitting at the table, apparently finished his meal. Jimmy and Rachel were sitting on either side of him discussing his ride. “It looks like you’re finished, Kid. Can I get you anything else?” she asked, collecting his dishes and heading into the kitchen. “No, Ma’am. But, thank you,” Kid politely replied. “I really am just tired and would like to go to sleep if you can just point me in the right direction.” Theresa returned from the kitchen, having decided to deal with the few dishes from this impromptu meal in the morning. “Well, Jem and I have been debating on where you should sleep tonight. Rachel, would you, like to weigh in on this discussion.” “That depends on the choices before us, I guess,” Rachel admitted. “I think he should either share with Jimmy, or just go on up to see Louise. We all know he’ll end up there anyway. Jem, on the other hand, thinks he should sleep out in the bunkhouse or in the barn, far away from Louise,” Theresa announced with veiled annoyance. Kid just sat there, feeling the color rising in his face. He wanted nothing more than to pull Lou into his arms and drift off to sleep, but that was probably not the best way to impress your future in-laws. He glanced over at Jimmy, who looked like he was having difficulty keeping a straight face. Rachel chose this moment to voice her opinion. “Well, the men in the bunkhouse probably wouldn’t appreciate being woken up now. And the barn will be too damp and cold tonight, so that just leaves the house. Since, and I agree with you both on everything, Kid will probably end up there anyway, you should just send him right to Lou’s room for the night. She’ll not be happy with anyone if she wakes up and realizes we kept him away from her for a minute longer than was necessary,” Rachel finished. Jem could see he was losing this argument, so he decided to walk over and have a little chat with Kid. “Kid,” he said, taking Rachel’s seat that she had just vacated. “What exactly are your intentions towards my daughter?” Kid shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He really didn’t want to get into this tonight when he was so tired and with such an audience, but if it meant he could go to bed sooner, then tonight it would be. Rachel decided this was a conversation best held between Jem and Kid, so she got Jimmy’s attention and shooed him and Theresa out of the room. She followed and pushed the three of them into the dark parlour, closing the door behind her. Theresa quickly lit a lamp in the room, casting enough light for them to see each other. Meanwhile, Jem decided this was as good a time as any to get some straight answers from the young man his daughter was so enamored with. “Well?” He asked now that they were alone. Kid rested his hand on the table before responding. “Sir, I love Lou more than anything in the world. The last few months have made me see that more clearly, not that I didn’t already know that. I want nothing more than to make her my wife and spend the rest of my life trying to make her happy,” he implored the older man. Jem just sat there looking at Kid trying to decide if he believed him. He knew how Lou had been since she left him and he had heard similar tales from Rachel about Kid. The two of them were clearly miserable when they were separated. “Would you consider working here on the ranch so Louise can stay here with all of us?” Jem finally asked the young man before him. “We would hate to lose her so soon after finding her again,” he added as an afterthought. Kid considered Jem’s statement before he replied, “Sir, you’re the reason I let her go, I knew how much her family means to her and I didn’t want to make her choose between us. I knew she needed you as much as you needed her. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I let her go. It was a decision, that while I don’t regret her coming with you, I still regret that I had to live without her. I would marry her tomorrow and stay here on the ranch forever, if she would have me.” There was nothing more to say to the man. Kid had been as honest as he could. It was up to Lou’s father now. Jem took a deep breath before exhaling it slowly. He couldn’t ask for a better man for his daughter. Jem knew what he was going to do, but he had to find the words. “If you hurt her, you will have to answer to me, understand,” Jem started. Kid nodded his understanding, “I understand. I would probably do the same,” he replied. “Her room is the only one on the third floor. Top of the stairs, door is on the right. Please take care of her. That’s all I can ask of you,” Jem said softly. Kid stood and offered his hand to the man now standing before him. Jem glanced at his hand briefly before taking the hand in his own to shake it. “I guess this means welcome to the family, son,” Jem said to his future son-in-law. “Go on. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you,” he said resignedly. With a smile, Kid left the dining room, grabbed his saddlebag from the floor and made his way up the dark stairs. As he stood outside her door, he thought about all the miles he rode today and how long and miserable the last few months had been before he quietly opened the door and let himself in. Theresa, Rachel, and Jimmy heard footsteps on the stairs outside the closed parlour and took it as their cue to come out of hiding. Theresa and Rachel headed directly to the dining room, where they found Jem slowly pacing the room, rubbing his hand over his face deep in thought. Jimmy looked briefly up the stairs before stopping in the doorway he saw the two women disappear through moments before. Leaning in the doorway, he took in the scene before him. Theresa and Jem stood looking at each other, a look of relief on both of their faces. He was glad his friend had made it here, even if it was almost midnight now. Everyone in the room seemed much more relaxed than they had only hours ago. It had definitely been a crazy night. Theresa was the first one to break the silence. “Jem, what happened? Where did Kid go?” Her eyes darted around the room, not finding the bedraggled young man who had been here only minutes before. Jem turned his weary face to his mother, saying with resignation, “He loves her. I couldn’t be the reason they were apart. I refuse to be my father.” Theresa smiled at her son. “You are a much better man than your father ever was, because you learned from his mistakes,” she said quietly. “All I kept thinking of, the whole time we were talking tonight, was of Mary and how I wished I had the chance to marry her instead of having to watch her spend her life with someone else. I want Louise to have the happy ending I never had,” Jem replied. “For what it’s worth, you did the right thing, Jem. She’ll be fine with him tonight. Kid was so tired, he could barely stay awake. I am sure he will climb into bed and fall asleep as soon as he’s there,” Theresa added. Rachel, being more familiar with Kid, agreed with Theresa, “Kid has barely slept since Lou left. I am sure sleep is the only thing on his mind tonight. And, I really don’t think he will try anything while they are unmarried and in the same house as you two.” “I’d be more worried about her, anyway,” Jimmy smirked from the doorway. What little he did know about Kid and Lou’s relationship was that Kid let Lou lead the way for the most part. His comment drew sharp looks from the other three in the room. “Jimmy, that was unnecessary,” Rachel admonished. “Why don’t you go to bed?” “That’s a good idea. I think we all need to get some sleep. The children will be up early for school anyway,” added Theresa, stifling a yawn. On that note, Jimmy and Rachel headed to the stairs in search of sleep. Theresa was right behind them. Jem paused to turn all the lamps off in the dining room and parlour before he headed up to bed. As he reached the landing outside his room, he glanced up towards where his daughter lay sleeping with the one person she loved more than anything and silently said a prayer to his own lost love that he did the right thing. Chapter 8 As Kid entered the dimly lit room, his eyes scanned the room to understand the lay of things. He took note of the windows on both sides of the rooms and the lace curtain fluttering slightly with the outside breeze. She still liked sleeping with the window open, he thought to himself. Gazing at the bed, he finally saw her sleeping fitfully under the soft quilt. While he wanted nothing more than to rush over to her, take her in his arms, and kiss her senseless, he knew in his current soggy state that was not an option. Tiptoeing around the bed to the open door on the other side of the room, he found a small bathing chamber. From the meager light shining in from the bedroom lamp, he could barely make out a woman’s wet garments laid out around the room. Kid carefully pushed aside the camisole and blouse hanging from the chair, before he sat, dropped his saddlebag quietly on the floor and began pulling his boots and socks off. Standing, he removed his shirt and long john shirt and laid them over the side of the tub. His pants were added to the small towel rack before he grabbed a towel and dried the remaining moisture from his damp skin and hair. He splashed some cold water on his face and dried it before returning to the room. He was stopped in his tracks as he saw Lou’s face softly glowing in the lamplight. Her eyes were still closed and her breath was soft and shallow. She quietly turned over onto her left side, facing the lamp. Kid paused by her side, reaching out a shaky hand to gently caress her warm cheek. He watched a single tear make its way down her face as Lou whimpered his name in her sleep. At that moment, any lingering doubts Kid had about his coming here tonight were gone. Walking over to bring the lamp over to his side of the bed, Kid carefully pulled the bedding back before sliding his cold, tired body in the warm sheets. He turned to extinguish the lamp and rolled over towards Lou, pulling her into his arms. He inhaled the soft scent of lavender in her hair and placed a soft kiss onto her shoulder before whispering, “I love you, Lou.” His last thought before falling asleep was of the woman in his arms and the feeling that he was finally home. Faint wisps of sunlight were just streaming through the lace-bedecked windows as Lou started to rouse from her slumber. She couldn’t remember the last time she had slept this well. It had to be before she left Rock Creek. Probably the last time she and Kid had snuck out to sleep in the hayloft, back before her father and grandmother had shown up. Her dreams during the night were full of intense blue eyes gazing into her, strong arms holding her tight and feelings of warmth that spread clear to her toes. She remembered soft kisses on her shoulder and the feeling of being safe and home. As she cleared the fog from her mind, she began to stretch out her legs and luxuriate in the warmth that seemed to envelope her this morning. She couldn’t remember ever feeling this warm since she got here. As she grew more awake, she realized that all the things she had dreamed were just that, dreams. In the safety of her bedroom, she allowed the tears of longing to fall unimpeded. All her hope that he would come to her felt like it was draining from her with each tear that fell. As she moved her hand down her abdomen to cradle her small belly, she was alarmed to find a large hand pressed to her ribcage. Feeling her way along the hand, she traced her hand along the strong arm resting over her side before she rolled over to see soft, sandy curls belonging to the most wonderful sight she had ever seen sharing her pillow with her. A smile lit her face as her tears of sorrow turned into tears of joy. He had come! She gazed lovingly at his sleeping face before pressing her soft lips to his own. The arm that was still wrapped around her warm body pulled her closer to its owner as she felt herself being pressed against his bare chest. Kid sighed in his sleep and held onto her tighter, as if he was afraid to let her go. “Kid,” Lou whispered, her eyes boring into his closed eyelids. “Hmmm,” was his reply. “Kid, what are you doing here?” she whispered. “I came to find you as soon as I could, Lou,” he said as she melted into his arms, trying to get closer to him. “I know that, but why are you here in my room,” she lowered her already whispering voice before adding, “and in my bed? Are you rooming with Jimmy? Did he tell you where I was?” “Huh-Uh.” “Kid, wake up. I can't have Pa find you in here!” Her sense of panic was rising the longer he slept and it was apparent in her voice. “You have to get back to wherever you are supposed to be sleeping before the rest of the house wakes up!” “Lou, calm down. I’m right where I’m supposed to be.” Lou looked into his face as he opened his eyes to look at her before closing them again. It was too early for all this. Judging by the amount of light in the room, it couldn’t be more than six in the morning. After riding all day for the last three days and not getting to sleep until after midnight last night, he was tired. “Can we just go back to sleep, please?” He pleaded with her. “But…” “No. No, buts. Your father and I had a talk last night before he told me which room was yours. I think you have your grandmother and Rachel to thank for this,” he mumbled sleepily. “You mean he knows you’re here and he’s alright with it?” she asked, raising her eyebrows. He opened one blue eye to look at her before closing it and nodding his head. Lou couldn’t believe this. Her thoughts were running a mile a minute. Not only was Kid here, but he had her father’s permission to sleep in her room with her? Oh, no, what if he knew? Surely her grandmother and Rachel wouldn't have broken her confidence. What had happened last night after she was put to bed? She had too many questions and not enough answers for her comfort right now. Plus, the rumbling in her stomach was telling her that she was getting hungry . She realized she hadn’t eaten dinner last night which meant getting up this morning was going to be tricky. She couldn’t get sick in front of him. He would get worried. Her only chance was to get downstairs as soon as she could to get some biscuits and tea. Mrs. Smith might be down there by now. “Kid? Did you eat last night?” Lou whispered to the sleeping form in front of her. “Mmm-hmm. Stew was delicious. Bread too,” was his muffled reply. This brought new tears to her eyes. He had liked her food! She wondered if he knew she had cooked it. Lou decided she would ask him later. Now, she needed to focus on her own plight. She felt his arm pull her closer to him until she was pressed tightly against his chest “Kid,” she whispered into his chest, “ I need to get up. I missed dinner last night and I’m hungry.” With this revelation, his eyes blinked open as he drew his face back to look into her eyes. “Why did you miss dinner last night?” His eyes held nothing but concern in them. “It’s a long story. And anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore,” Lou whispered, stroking her fingers along his stubbly jaw. Kid eyed her suspiciously but decided that he would rather sleep than argue with her this morning and closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of her fingers on his face. Reaching up, he stilled her hand with his own and brought her palm to his lips and lightly kissed it. “I’ll just run down to the kitchen and bring some biscuits and tea up here. I’ll be right back?” she looked at him as his arm snaked around her waist again and pulled her closer against him. Lou knew he was afraid to let her go now that he had finally found her again. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, Kid released his hold on her before conceding, “Hurry back. I missed you.” Louise knew she had a very limited amount of time once she sat up before she would have to deal with the nausea. Rolling out of Kid’s arms she looked around the room for her robe and figured she could do without her slippers this morning. Quickly leaving the bed, she flung the covers back against the mattress before hurrying to don her paisley robe. She could feel her stomach starting to regret the sudden movement so she bolted from the room and bounded down the two flights of stairs and out the front door before retching into the shrubbery. After she was finished, she calmly entered the house, closing the front door before heading to the kitchen. Once there, she found Mrs. Smith, already preparing her tray of biscuits and herbal tea. Seeing Louise there, Mrs. Smith poured her a steaming mug of tea and handed her a biscuit. Louise sat, nibbled the biscuit and sipped the tea, before asking the kind woman in front of her, “Do you mind if I take this to my room this morning?” Mrs Smith looked her over once before replying, “Of course not, my dear. Will you be wanting a bath this morning?” Taking the tea tray with the biscuits, teapot and mug, Lou added a second mug before heading for the hall door. The move did not go unnoticed by the cook, but she kept her thoughts to herself. “Yes,” Lou responded, “but not for a couple of hours, thanks.” And with that, she left the room. Lou carefully carried the tray up the two flights of stairs to reach her attic abode. She had apparently left the door wide open in her haste to deposit her stomach contents in the front yard. She hoped that Kid missed her little escape out the front door this morning. Having to answer his questions about her illness was not how she wanted to start with him after being away from him for the last three months. Despite her worry about having to tell him about the baby before she was ready, Lou was actually slightly relieved to find her bedroom door open. Her tray was heavy and it would have been much harder to balance the tray and open the door. With the door open she didn’t have to put the tray down until she was in the room. Gently kicking the door closed, Lou carried the tray containing her first breakfast over to the desk that sat under the back windows. The desk had been moved in shortly after her arrival to provide her with some modicum of privacy to write letters to loved ones back in Rock Creek. Lately, it had provided a place for Lou to hold her nausea at bay before she had to eat with everyone else. As long as they didn’t have oatmeal, she should be good. She wanted to tell Kid about his impending fatherhood, but not just yet. Right now, she wanted him all to herself, at least for a little while longer. Grabbing her mug and her half eaten biscuit, she brought them over and placed each on her night table before dropping her robe on the floor and crawling back in bed. She picked up her tea and biscuit and started eating again. Kid, still half asleep, moved over to rest his hand on her cold thigh. “You’re freezing, Lou. Come here, let me warm you up.” He murmured into his pillow. When she didn’t respond, Kid asked, “Did you go outside? I thought I heard the front door open.” She froze at his words. How was she going to explain her sudden flight outside this morning? Kid would know she was lying. In the past, he could always tell when she tried to hide something from him. She figured she needed to be as close to the truth as she could, so hopefully, he wouldn’t suspect anything. “I just wanted to see how cold it was out so I could figure out what to wear today,” she said, hoping that he bought it. Kid looked up at her with a questioning look on his face before he nestled his head back on the pillow. She finished her biscuit and sipped half the tea in her mug before she decided the man lying in her bed was just too appealing to ignore any longer. Sliding back down under the covers, Lou nestled herself back in Kid’s arms and relaxed for the first time in a long time. Kid pulled her closer to him and whispered into her ear, “I love you, Louise McCloud.” “I love you too, Kid” was her sleepy reply. “Promise me one thing, Lou.” “Anything.” “Don’t leave me ever again.” “I promise. As long as you don’t leave me either.” “Never again,” Kid replied before drifting off to sleep, safe with the knowledge that Lou was finally his. He was never going to let go of her for as long as she would have him. He just needed to take care of a few things first. Lou lay there silently for a few minutes, relishing the feel of his skin on her back. Her hand drifted to her swollen belly to rest it protectively on her miracle that lay inside. She felt complete as she succumbed to sleep once again. Four hours later, there was a knock on Lou’s bedroom door. The sound woke both she and Kid immediately as they couldn’t imagine who could be outside their door right now. Allowing his daughter’s sweetheart to sleep in her room and being witness to it were two different things and Lou couldn’t believe her father would come near her door this morning. The knock sounded again, a little louder this time. “Louise?” Lou sagged with relief at the sound of her Grandmother’s voice. “Louise, you missed breakfast this morning, I just wanted to make sure everything was alright with you,” Theresa spoke through the closed door. “I’m fine, grandma,” Lou replied. She reached around the bed looking for the blue shirt she knew had to still be there. Finding it, she pulled it out and shoved it in Kid’s face, hissing, “Here, put this on. I have to answer the door.” She got out of bed, pulled her robe off the floor and put it on before walking over to the door to usher her grandmother into the room. Kid had pulled the familiar shirt over his head before she opened the door. As Theresa entered the room, bearing a tray with sausage, pancakes, scrambled eggs, and coffee, Lou placed a hand on her stomach and took a deep breath. The aroma of the coffee had been bothering her lately and the nausea was fighting to make a reappearance this morning. She needed food and she needed it quickly or her secret would be out sooner than she wanted. “I brought you two a tray to share this morning,” Theresa stated as she bustled into the room towards the desk. “Oh, I see you already had something,” she looked pointedly at Lou, with a question in her eyes. Lou gave a slight shake of her head. She was running out of time. “Oh, well, here is another breakfast as I am sure you are both hungry this morning,” Theresa continued, moving about the room. She was about to leave, when she turned back to stare at her granddaughter, standing stock still by the door and looking greener by the minute. “Mrs. Smith has your bath water ready, shall I send it up in say a half an hour?” Lou just nodded her head in acknowledgement before her grandmother left and she closed the door behind her. She leaned against the door and blew out a breath. “Lou, are you alright?” Kid asked from the bed. Lou grabbed her stomach before running to the bathing chamber, slamming the door closed behind her. Kid looked at the closed door with alarm. He had never really seen Lou sick before. He walked over to the closed door to hear Lou emptying her stomach contents into the chamber pot. How long had she been sick? And why wasn’t she answering him? “Lou?” Louise could hear Kid on the other side of the door whispering her name. How was she going to tell him what was really going on with her? “Go away, Kid,” she said dejectedly. Silence filled the room as she finished vomiting. She could hear him standing outside the door, touching the doorknob. Fresh tears started falling as she turned to watch the door knob turn and the door slowly open. “I’m not going anywhere, Lou. Didn’t we just promise that a few hours ago?” He looked at her with love and concern. She turned her tear streaked face to his as he knelt on the floor next to her to pull her into his arms. This time, she let the tears come. He folded his arms around her and stroked her back and hair, speaking softly. “I’m sure this is not the last time one of us will be sick,”he said, pulling away from her slightly to take her face in his hands, “You’ll be better in no time, right?” She just looked at him and he could tell she wasn’t telling him everything. Doubt was clouding her eyes as she pulled away from him and walked back to the bedroom, leaning against the window frame, her arms crossed defensively across her chest to look out the back windows towards the little cottage. Kid followed her and stood a breadth behind her as he looked over her shoulder to see what she suddenly found so interesting outside. Treading carefully, Kid wrapped his arms around her petite frame and drew her into his chest. He rested his head on her shoulder before asking, “Do you really want me to go?” he asked her, “Because if that’s really what you want me to do, I will.” Lou swiped a hand across her face to brush the tears away. She shook her head. “I’m so happy you’re here, but I am afraid you’ll go away again and I don’t think I can handle that now,” she said quietly. “I’m not going anywhere, Lou. I learned my lesson when you left me. My heart couldn’t survive losing you again. In fact, I thought of a way to make sure we can be together forever.” She turned to look at him, a question in her eyes. Where was he going with this? Could this be what Kid had talked with her father about last night? Kid just gazed intently into her eyes before he said, “Marry me?” Lou sucked in her breath with his question. She studied the look in his eyes before her face lit up and a goofy grin appeared on her face. Her head started nodding before she could get the word out. “Yes!”and she threw herself into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her again and spun her around the room in jubilation. Stopping, he pulled his face away from hers before he pressed his lips against hers. “I love you, Lou. In sickness and in health,” he whispered against her lips. With the room still, slightly spinning, Lou could feel the nausea trying to make a comeback for the third time this morning. “Kid,” she admonished, “Kid, you have to put me down and I have to eat something too or I’m going to get sick again.” Hearing the warning in her voice, Kid quickly put her down. “I would think if you’re sick, the last thing you would want is to eat. Isn’t that going to make it worse?” he asked her as she walked over to the tray. Lou immediately started devouring half the pancakes sausage and eggs. He watched as she wrinkled up her nose and pushed the coffee away. That was strange, he thought, she used to like coffee at the way station. Now she couldn’t seem to stand the stuff. He walked over to pick up the lone mug of coffee on the tray to alleviate her discomfort and replaced it with the cold tea from her nightstand. Sipping the hot coffee, he continued to watch her. She was awfully hungry for someone who was sick not ten minutes ago. Oh, well, she’ll talk about it when she’s ready, he thought before asking, “Lou?” Her mouth full of pancakes, she replied, “Hmmf?” “Are you gonna eat all that yourself, or do I get some?” She stopped eating at his question and looked over at him, leaning against the window next to the desk sipping the coffee. She pushed the tray over to him and handed him the other fork that rested next to the plate of pancakes. Standing so he could sit while he ate, she resumed his place at the window. She sipped her cold herbal tea while he finished the rest of the pancakes before moving onto the eggs. “So when do you want to get married,” he asked her between forkfuls of egg. “I don’t know, when were you thinking?” “Well, originally, I thought a spring wedding might be nice, but after sleeping next to you last night, I don’t think I can wait that long to join you again. I’m sure your father will not let me stay here again tonight.” Kid said as he finished the eggs. He was about to stab a sausage with his fork before Lou mused aloud, “I don’t know. Maybe, he would allow it if the wedding was sooner rather than later.” Kid eyed her curiously with her last statement. He chewed the bite of sausage thoughtfully as he watched her sip her tea. “As much as I would like to marry you today, Lou, don’t you think I need to get a job and find us a place to live before we can get married? The express is pretty much done and while I have some money saved up, I need a job if I am going to support a family.” Lou almost choked on her tea when Kid mentioned the word family causing him to look sharply up at her. “Well, when do you suggest, then, sir?” Lou asked. Kid looked at her and sensed she was asking a loaded question, but he had no idea where she was going with this. What did it matter when they got married as long as it was soon. He didn’t want to spend a single night away from her ever again. She walked over to the desk, placed her mug on the tray before settling herself on his lap so she could have his undivided attention. “What if the job and house problem could be solved today? How soon could we get married?” she asked him with all seriousness on her face as she fixed her stare on her hands folded in her lap. He put the fork down and placed his hand against the small of her back, using his other hand to gently turn her gaze towards him. Staring intensely into her soft brown eyes, he moved his mouth closer to hers and asked, “How soon could you get a preacher here?” before claiming her lips with his own. Lou snaked her arms around Kid’s neck as she slowly melted into his embrace. She knew she couldn’t let this go anywhere with her father and grandmother somewhere nearby, but oh how she missed this. Lou felt his tongue brush across her lips, demanding access to her mouth and she was more than happy to oblige. As she twisted on his lap to get closer to him, she soon sat straddling his hips and could feel his arousal building at the apex of her legs. Without thinking, she ground her hips against his as she felt his mouth travel down her neck to find that spot behind her ear that made her pulse race. “Kid,” She whispered huskily, “Kid, we can’t do this now. They’re bringing my bath water up soon.” Kid continued to kiss and nibble his way down her neck to her shoulder as he pulled the edge of her robe and nightgown aside to gain better access to the soft creamy skin hidden beneath. His kisses continued, until he heard a knock at the door. It was like being doused with cold water when he heard Theresa’s voice at the door. “Louise? Kid?” Trying to regain some sense of composure, Kid fixed Lou’s errant nightgown and robe and pushed her from his lap until she was standing in front of him. “Yes, Grandma?” Lou asked, her voice strained with aggravation. “Come in.” Theresa pushed the door open and ushered two of the stable boys in, each bearing two large buckets of steaming water. Lou eyed her grandmother curiously, wondering why she didn’t just send the water up through the lift in the wall of her bathing chamber like she did every other morning since she arrived here. Theresa led the two boys into the bathing chamber before removing two buckets of cold water from the lift. She quickly gathered all the clothing from the bath area, placing them on the chair in the room, placing a stack of new towels on top. Her grandmother was acting strangely this morning, Lou thought to herself as the two boys were quickly swept from the room ahead of Theresa. “I will return for your tray in a little while,” she said, giving both Kid and Louise a pointed glare. Kid moved from his spot behind Louise, feeling that his body was back under control. That was too close. He didn’t know how long he would be allowed to stay here and he wasn’t sure he trusted himself to keep his hands off of her. As far as he was concerned, they needed to find that preacher to marry them as soon as possible. “So, Lou. Does Benton have its own preacher, or do you have to wait for a travelling one to get here?” he asked, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. Lou moved past him and went into the bathing chamber where she seemed to be getting ready for a bath. He was sure his wire thin control could not survive watching her bathe this morning. Maybe if he stayed in her room and thought about something innocuous, like shoveling manure, he might have a chance. “Kid, there’s enough water for both of us,” Lou called from the chamber. “Do you want to go first, or should I?”She called again. Hearing no reply, she appeared in the doorway to gain his attention. He was back sitting in the chair by the window, staring blindly out the window in the direction of the cottage sipping the rest of his coffee. A wicked smile slowly spread across her face. “Or, we could share it if you like,” she asked suggestively. His head whipped around from the window to see her eyes glinting at him, her desire for him evident on her face. Lord help him, he thought to himself. He could not be caught in a compromising position with her while under the same roof as her family. Once they were married, he was going to find the key so he could lock her bedroom door to ensure they had some privacy, at least until they could move out of here. Rising from the chair, Kid stalked towards Lou’s waiting form, like a predator watching its prey, although in this case, he wasn’t sure which one of them was the predator and which was the prey. As he stepped within inches of her lithe form, he looked deeply into her eyes before he smoothly said, “Lou, I would like nothing more than to share your bath with you. But until you have my ring on your finger, we can’t do this.” She looked up at him with sultry eyes, wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered, “Why not? What are you afraid of? Don’t you want me?” Her lips were dangerously close to his and he wanted nothing more than to delve into their depths and let the rest of the world be damned. “Louise, you know your father and grandmother would kill me if they knew I compromised you in any way. We should wait until we’re married before we do that again.” Lou didn’t like where this was heading. Compromised. Him and his damned honor again. Well, she could tell him all about how he compromised her, then it wouldn’t matter anymore. She moved away from him entering the bathing chamber and dropping her robe. He stood in the doorway, eyes riveted on her movements. “We could use the chair to bar the door so we won’t be interrupted,” she suggested as she started unbuttoning the front of her nightgown. His eyes followed the movement of her hands as they slowly moved lower down her body. “Besides, you can’t compromise me if I am already compromised. It's a little late to worry about my honor, don’t ya think?” She raised one eyebrow as she locked her gaze with his. His eyes narrowed at her suggestion that he had already compromised her as he stalked closer to her. “Lou, what are you saying? We don’t need to advertise that we have already, you know,” he stammered. She loved when he got all flustered and nervous. Leaving her nightgown alone for now, even though the front was gaping open, she looked at him and said, “Why do you think Pa and Grandma allowed you to stay here last night? Do you really believe, for even a second, that they don’t think we have already done what you are suggesting? My father may be trying to delude himself into thinking I am still his good little girl, but Grandma knows full well what we have been doing, Kid.” With that, Lou pushed Kid back into her bedroom and shut the door to commence her bath. Let him sit and think about that for a while, she thought, as she let her nightgown fall to the floor and stepped into the bath. Sitting in the hot water, Lou stroked her hands over her rounded stomach, laid her head back against the rim of the tub, and smiled contentedly. Kid paced restlessly around Lou’s large bedroom, wondering how he was going to last until the wedding. Finding his now dry clothes on the foot of the bed. He pulled his pants on over his long johns, removed the blue shirt to don his long john top before replacing the long lost blue shirt. He sat on the bed, pulling his socks and boots back onto his feet. He needed to figure some things out, and staying holed up in this room, while immensely tempting, was not going to get them any closer to a wedding. Remembering that Josiah said something about a job, he left the room and headed downstairs to find either Jem or Josiah. He needed to talk to one of them preferably Jem, about possibly working here on the ranch. Not seeing anyone in the parlour or dining room, Kid walked into the kitchen where he found Theresa talking with two other older women he hadn’t seen before. Theresa was the first to notice Kid, standing uncomfortably in the doorway. “Kid! So nice to see you this morning!” she said cheerily. “Did you sleep well?” she asked with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Yes, Ma’am. Very well, thank you. Do you know where I might find Jem or Josiah right now?”he asked, nervously shoving his hands in his pockets. Theresa watched the young man standing in her kitchen and thought, ‘He’s a good one. Lou chose well. He seems so uncomfortable around us, probably because he knows that we know he slept in her room last night. He’s still worried about her and what we will think of her.’ Theresa shook her head before informing Kid, “Lunch should be ready soon, Jem and Josiah should be back up to the house then if you just want to wait. Or, why don’t you go take a walk around the ranch for a few minutes. I think Jimmy went into town with Rachel to visit with Amanda for the morning. They left early and took the children to school, so they should be back in time for lunch.” “Thanks, I think I’ll go for a walk until lunch.” And with that, Kid headed back through the hallway and out the front door. He watched the sun sparkle on the lake out in front of the house and followed the drive as it wound around the lake. It really was a beautiful place here. He wouldn’t mind staying here if they would let him. Kid watched the ranch hands leading horses around the lake and down to where he assumed there was pasture land for them to run and graze. He thought back to that cottage he saw from Lou’s windows a while ago and figured he would head in that direction. Walking around the side of the house, he saw the women still working in the kitchen to the right and passed the remains of a large kitchen garden on the left. Kid knew the cottage lay to the back of the house and across a large field so he headed past the house and walked until he spied the cottage before he heard the sound of a horse and buckboard coming into the yard. Figuring it must be time for lunch, Kid turned and headed back to the house. By the time he arrived at the house, almost everyone was assembled in the dining room for lunch. Kid took a seat near Jem, leaving the seat between them open for Lou whenever she got here. How long could it take for a bath, he wondered? Apparently, not long at all, he thought as she waltzed into the dining room bearing a platter of sandwiches. Theresa was right behind her with a bowl of potato salad, and then Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Landry brought up the rear, carrying pitchers of lemonade. Lou quickly took the seat between him and Jem, while Theresa took her place at the other end of the table. Mrs. Landry and Mrs. Smith sat on either side of her, and Jimmy, Rachel and Josiah sat opposite him and Lou. Lou held the platter of sandwiches out to him, coyly asking him, “Sandwich, Kid?” Kid’s jaw dropped. Was she actually flirting with him in front of her family? “Uh, thanks, Lou,” he replied before she grabbed a sandwich and passed the platter to her father. Soon, Jimmy was holding the potato salad, waiting for Kid to take it from him. Mrs. Landry finished filling everyone’s glasses with lemonade before resuming her seat next to Theresa. “Hey, Kid,” Jimmy started the conversation, drawing Kid’s glance. “Where’d you get that shirt? Isn’t that the one you were missing back in Rock Creek?” he asked innocently. Kid almost choked. Jimmy knew exactly where his shirt had gone since Kid had confided that information to his friend in the days following Lou’s departure. Lou watched curiously as the color rose in Kid’s face. She wisely chose to remain silent through all this. Rachel, not realizing his discomfort, added, “ I thought you said you lost it, Kid? How did it end up all the way out here?” she added before realizing her mistake. Kid and Lou suddenly found their laps very interesting. Jem looked sideways at his daughter with a knowing glance, figuring out that she must have taken it before she left. Trying to help the two people out a bit, Jem decided to change the subject. “So, Kid,” he started, “Josiah and I have been looking for a foreman to take some of the workload off of us. Since Jimmy tells us the express is just about done, we were wondering if you would be interested.” Kid looked at his future father-in-law incredulously. He wanted to give him a job? “You know,” Josiah added, “Louise, Jeremiah, and Theresa will inherit this place one day, if they’re interested. But so far, only Louise here has taken any interest in horses. Jeremiah has been talking about going into law while Theresa wants to be a teacher. So it might just be Louise that gets to run this place one day. I reckon she might want some help, don’t ya think?” Kid just kept looking at the two men as he felt Lou reach for his hand under the table. She looked at him with encouragement in her eyes. Gathering up his courage, he addressed the two men, “Well, seeing as how Lou agreed to marry me this morning, I think that would be a great opportunity. Thank you!” Lou squeezed his hand in hers and beamed up at him from her chair. “What?” Theresa asked, incredulously from her end of the table. “You didn’t waste any time, did you,”J immy said under his breath to Kid. Louise decided to speak up now to answer all the surprised looks around the table. “Grandma, Kid asked me to marry him this morning and I accepted him.” Theresa looked at her granddaughter and noticed that she seemed to be glowing this morning. Kid just looked over at his intended and shared a similar look on his face. They looked like they were about to burst with happiness. “Have you decided on when you would like to get married, darling?” Theresa asked Lou. Finishing his sandwich, Jem suggested, “Spring is always a nice time to get married.” Lou looked at her father and glanced at her grandmother with a panicked look on her face. “Pa, we were hoping to get married before that. Like as soon as possible.” as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized what she was implying. Jem dropped his fork on his plate as he stared at his daughter in disbelief before he turned an angry glare in Kid’s direction. “What do you mean by ‘as soon as possible’?” he ground out. “Papa, we just mean that we have been apart for the last few months. To have a long engagement now would mean an even longer separation. Neither of us wants that,” Lou explained. She turned a pleading glance at her grandmother for some help here. Picking up on Lou’s anxiety, Theresa gently suggested, “Jem, wouldn’t it be better to have them settled before winter sets in? Things are usually fairly calm around here now anyway. Why not just plan the wedding for a few days or weeks from now and let them start living their lives together.” Jem just glared at her uneasily, so she added, “Do you really want to go back to the way things were a few days ago?” Thinking back over the last few months, and especially the last twenty-four hours, Jem shook his head. “No, Mama. Definitely not.” Redirecting his look to Kid, he asked, “Why don’t you come with Louise and I this afternoon and we can show you the entire ranch? Then we can talk about your working here as soon as the express ends.” switching between Lou and Kid, who were sharing an intense look, he added, “Unless you two have other plans?” Louise looked at her father and informed him, “I was going to take Kid to see that cottage down by the lower lake after our ride this afternoon, but I guess I could wait a bit so you can talk. I’ll just help out in the kitchen until he’s ready.” “So it’s settled then. We’ll go for our ride as soon as lunch is over,” Jem said matter-of-factly. The women at the other end of the table were bursting with happiness over the excitement of planning a wedding and soon. “Louise, we should talk about the wedding while we clean up from lunch. We’ll have to start planning a menu for dinner after the ceremony and figure out what day will work for the whole thing. And you will have to have a wedding cake,” Mrs. Smith squealed with delight over the whole prospect. Mrs. Landry added, “And Theresa, you will have to draw up a guest list. What do you think, maybe sixty or so guests?” Lou just looked at them with disbelief. She didn’t want this whole production. She didn’t even know that many people. Couldn’t they just get married and then be left alone? “Grandma, I was hoping we could just have a small ceremony in the garden or parlour and then have lunch or dinner for the family and a few friends. I don’t want a big wedding.” At their looks of disappointment that the bride didn’t want a big wedding, Lou, trying to placate them, added, “Although, cake does sound good right now. Mrs. Smith, we can definitely have cake.” Theresa and Rachel just burst out laughing at her admission. “Alright, a small wedding it will be. Kid you will have to let us know who you want to invite. Do you have any family around?” Theresa asked. “No, ma’am. My parents died when I was young and my brother died last year. My express brothers are all I have, along with Teaspoon.” Kid replied. “So, maybe seven or so from the way station?” Theresa asked. “Kid, I’d like to invite Sam and Emma, too,” Lou added. “You should probably invite Amanda as well, Louise,” Theresa added. She knew that Lou had gone into town a few times to see the woman after she moved here. “Teaspoon would like that, Grandma,” Lou paused before adding, “ Maybe I’ll write to Emma tonight. We’ll have to pick a date before I can do that so I can tell her when to come. Do you think we could have this whole thing pulled together by the thirtieth?” “Louise, today is October seventeenth, that gives us thirteen days. That’s not much time, but I think we can have everything ready by then. Kid, I’m sure you can be back here by then, yes?” Theresa asked. Lou, looking alarmed at the prospect of being separated from Kid again after just reuniting with him, asked, “What do you mean, ‘can he be back here by then?’ Where do you think he’s going, Grandma?” “Louise, you must realize he has to return to Rock Creek to get his stuff before the wedding and turn in his notice with Teaspoon, if the express is still going by then,” Theresa reminded the girl. Lou just crossed her arms on her chest and blew out a breath in frustration. Then a thought crossed her mind, which brought a smile to her face. “Fine. I’ll just go with him then,” she said brightly. “Lou, won’t you have wedding things to do around here? Anyway, it will take three days just to get there and back. You’ll be so busy with the wedding, you won’t even miss me,” Kid said taking her hand in his. She lifted an eyebrow at him as he patted the back of her hand. She would have to discuss this with him later. In private. Signalling that lunch was over, Jem and Josiah stood up and departed for the barn. Theresa, Rachel, Lou and the other women cleared the dishes from the dining room and disappeared into the kitchen. As they busied themselves cleaning the dishes and discussing dinner, Kid and Jimmy went to the barn to get their horses saddled for the afternoon ride. After readying Katy and Sundancer, they decided to get Lightning ready for Lou as well since she hadn’t appeared yet. “That was quick, Kid,” Jimmy teased his friend about his prompt proposal. “Just couldn’t wait, could you?” he added. Kid just laughed at his friend’s comments. “Jimmy, you know how miserable I been since she left. I’ve had three months to figure things out. I don’t want to wait any longer,” Kid explained. Jimmy just gave him the side eye before leaning closer to his friend and asking, “You can’t stay away from her, can you? What did she do to you this morning, Kid? Ply you with her feminine wiles?” Jimmy joked. But, judging from the blush creeping up Kid’s face, Jimmy realized he was closer to the truth than he intended. “Oh, my God! She did, didn’t she! And in her father’s house, too. Nice one, Kid,” Jimmy said, giving Kid a pat on the back. Kid shrugged him off before he hissed, “Nothing happened, Jimmy,” as he glared at his friend. This was definitely not what they should be talking about when her father could be nearby. At that moment, Lou appeared between the two riders, tossing a glance between the two of them. “What?” she asked them both, “Did I miss something?” “Nothing,” Kid said while Jimmy gave her a leering grin as he led Sundancer out of the barn. “What’s with him?” she asked Kid, sidling up to him and putting her arm around his waist. Kid wrapped his arm around her and brought her closer to him before placing a light kiss on her lips. “Is he giving you a hard time, Kid,”she asked again. Kid shook his head and went back to tightening the straps on Lightning. “No, he’s just being Jimmy,” he said rolling his eyes. “I thought your father was going to kill me at lunch today when you told him we wanted to get married as soon as possible,” Kid stated as Lou climbed onto Lightning’s back. “Now why would he want to do a thing like that, Kid,” she replied coyly before exiting the barn. Kid jumped on his horse and followed her out. Jem was already waiting in front of the barn for their ride this afternoon. Kid was anxious to see the whole place and to get a better idea of how much work running a large horse ranch would entail. Since Lou had run this route countless times since her arrival here, she sped out in front of the group. She loved the feeling of flying across the landscape on Lightning’s back. As she fairly flew across the prairie, her skirts ruffled at her sides and her hair flew out behind her like a banner, the sun bringing out the auburn highlights in her hair. Kid admired the view in front of him as he raced to catch up with her. Jem watched the two as they jockeyed for position, enjoying the playfulness the two shared with each other. ‘Kid seems to understand her better than anyone’, he thought as he and Jimmy set off after the two. Galloping around the ranch, Jem and Lou pointed out the different fields they had for the stock as well as the outer barn and bunkhouses for the ranch hands. As they finished the final loop that brought them back around the main lake on the property, Jem pointed out Josiah’s small house on the far side, opposite the main house and told Kid what was stored in the different sheds. By the time they made it back to the barn, Kid had a pretty good idea of how the ranch operated. The four riders headed back to the barn to relieve their mounts of their accoutrements before Lou went back to the house to work in the kitchen and Kid went off with Jem to discuss the foreman job. Jimmy decided to tag along with Kid and Jem to find out if Buck or Noah might find employment here once the express ended. Once they were finished, Kid left Jimmy with Jem, since they still had a few things Jimmy wanted to ask about, and headed back to the house to collect Lou so she could show him the cottage. When he reached the kitchen door, he entered,not finding Lou anywhere. He found Mrs. Smith in the pantry who informed him that Theresa had gone into town to fetch the children from school and that Louise had returned to her room to freshen up after their ride. Kid bounded up the stairs until he reached her attic room. Opening the door, he found her curled up under a quilt, asleep on the bed, her hair fanned out around her face. The afternoon sun filled the room with a glorious glow and he watched the colored squares dance around the room from the stained glass. No wonder she chose this room, he thought, it was beautiful in this light. He moved closer to her to rouse her from her slumber and he noticed her hand holding onto the letter he had written to her. Rachel must have hand delivered it to her when she arrived a few days ago, he figured as he walked around to her side of the bed. Kneeling down next to her, he leaned in and peppered her face with kisses until she woke up. “Kid,” she said sleepily. “How long have I been up here? I didn’t mean to fall asleep, but riding seems to tire me out so much these days. I thought I would just lay here for a few minutes until you were ready.” Kid just smiled at her as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed where he could pull her into his arms and kiss her properly. “Are you ready to go now?” he asked her. “Yeah. Let me just get my shoes back on. I’ll grab my shawl and we can go,”Lou said, rising from the bed and moving to where she had left her shoes and shawl. Once she was ready to go, she grabbed Kid’s hand and pulled him from the room. They halfway across the field between the house and cottage before he knew it. Lou kept a hold of his hand as they neared the cottage by the small lake. “This reminds me of the pond in Rock Creek,” he said as he pulled her into his arms, resting his head on her shoulder so they could look out over the water. “I thought maybe we could live here after we’re married, you know, once we fix it up,” Louise suggested. “I used to come here when I missed you after I left Rock Creek. It reminded me of our special place, so it helped me feel closer to you.” Kid hugged her tighter as she shared her feelings with him. “I used to go to the pond whenever I missed you, which was pretty much every day,” Kid confessed. Lou twisted around in his arms and pulled his face to hers, kissing him to show him how much she missed him. “Do you want to see inside? I know it looks small on the outside, but the vines hide a lot. You’ll see, the inside is much bigger. Pa was already down here with me and said the fireplaces and chimneys are still in good condition. He said the house is basically sound, it’s just messy. I’ve been trying to clean it up a bit when I came down here. And, as you can see, it’s covered in vines. I think they’re wisteria. Can you imagine what it would look like in spring and summer when they’re in bloom? I bet it will be beautiful to see,” Lou gushed as she led him to the front door. “Lead the way, Lou,” Kid said as he encouraged her to continue. After she gave him the grand tour, he looked at her in amazement. “This place needs a lot of work, Lou. I’m not sure we can have it ready for us to live in right away. Maybe in a few months after we work on it, but it does have potential. Do you really think we will need all those bedrooms? I think I counted six.” At his words, Lou debated on if she should tell him about the baby yet, but decided she wanted to wait until they were alone and he would have enough time to adjust to her news. Thirty minutes before dinner was just not enough time. Kissing him one more time before they had to return to the house, she looked over at him suggestively and said, “You never know what the future might bring, Kid. Better to be prepared, huh?” and with that she pulled him out of the cottage so they would make it in time for dinner. Dinner was a festive affair that night. Jem and Josiah talked about life on the ranch, sharing their own entertaining stories with Kid and Jimmy. Lou enjoyed hearing her father and uncle talking like brothers. It reminded her of dinners at the way station, when all the boys would be gathered around the table to hear Teaspoon’s stories or share their own adventures on their routes. Jem seemed more relaxed tonight. Kid did too, she thought as she watched everyone around the table. He seems to be fitting in with the rest of her family. Looking at everyone, Lou felt an overwhelming sense of contentment. This was what she had been longing for the last few years. As dinner wound down, the women cleared the table, bringing everything to the kitchen. Lou, the last to arrive with the remaining plates, found Rachel quickly unburdening her of her load and shooing her back to the dining room. Resuming her seat next to Kid, she shot him a warning glance. At his raised eyebrows, she leaned over to whisper, “I think they are in there plotting something. They threw me out of the kitchen before I could even get in there.” Kid just smiled and shrugged his shoulders. It didn’t matter to him what they were planning, he was just so happy to be here, sitting next to Lou. The four women burst through the door carrying a small cake, a bottle of sparkling wine, and a tray of wine glasses. “We had to do something to celebrate your engagement, Kid and Louise,” Theresa exclaimed. Rachel brought dessert plates from the pantry and cake was served to everyone in attendance. Jeremiah and little Theresa were so excited to hear that their older sister was getting married. “Can I be a bridesmaid, Louise?” little Theresa asked, excitedly. “We’ll see, Theresa,” Lou replied. “Are you gonna have a new dress and a veil and flowers? Is there gonna be cake?” Theresa squealed from her seat. “Is Pa gonna give you away? Are you gonna leave us?” she finished, a frown coming over her face in worry over this last thought. Laughing, Lou replied to her little sister’s rapid fire questions, “Yes to the dress and cake. I assume Pa will give me away, right, Pa,” she directed her question to Jem seated next to her. “As for leaving, Kid and I aren’t going anywhere, right Kid?” she asked the man sitting to her other side. “Nope, Theresa, your sister and I will stay right here. Although, we will probably move out of this house eventually,” Kid warned. “Where will you go?” Theresa asked. “You aren’t going to take Louise away from us. Will you?” “Of course not,” Kid said tenderly. “Lou and I are planning on moving to the cottage out back, so you can visit any time you want, alright?” “Alright,” she said happily, knowing that she would be able to still see her sister whenever she wanted. Turning to Jem, Kid asked, “Do you think we could get that house fixed up before the wedding? Since you’ve had a better chance to look around it, I thought you might have a better idea.” “Well, if we get some of the ranch hands down there to help out, I don’t see why not. We are well prepared for winter and some of the men would probably enjoy a change of scenery for a few days. How about we head down there tomorrow and really look around. Last time I was there, it seemed structurally sound and the chimneys and fireplaces were all in good working order. It is really just in need of clearing and repair in places.” Jem replied. Then turning to Louise, he added, “There is a ton of old furniture in the room opposite yours up in the attic. Maybe you can look through there and see if there is anything you want. We can move it down there as soon as the cottage is ready. Anything else, and you’ll have to order it in town. And you can always take the furniture from your room, sweetheart.” Lou looked between her father and Kid, a smile lighting up her face. “I’ll go look tomorrow while you are at the cottage,” she said. Theresa had passed a glass of sparkling wine to all the adults at the table before she and Jem stood, raising their glasses, as Theresa said, “ To Louise and Kid!” And everyone repeated in unison, “Louise and Kid!” before clinking their glasses together and drinking to their upcoming marriage. “May your joys outweigh your sorrows, Theresa started, “and your blessings be many.” “May you share each other’s burdens and always find comfort in each other,” Jem added. “And may your love never falter,”Rachel finished. Kid and Lou gazed into each other’s eyes, falling further and further away from everyone else in the room. They toasted their glasses together, and sipped the fizzy beverage. “I forgot how much I like this stuff,” she blurted out. Kid crinkled his brow as he looked over at her. When had she tried this before? It certainly wasn’t with him. “Louise, where did you have this before? This is expensive stuff,” Jem asked. Theresa shot him a warning glance indicating he may not like her answer. Lou spied the unhappy look on Jem’s face as she decided how much she wanted to share about her dinner with Tyler Dewitt. Glancing at Kid, who just looked curious and slightly puzzled, she decided to throw caution to the wind and tell her story. “I had been on a run a few months after the express started. It was hard, always having to dress like a boy and act like a boy all the time. Since it was an overnight run and the bunkhouse in Blue Creek was really not an option, I got a room at the hotel for the night. On my way there I saw a dress in the window and bought it. I know I shouldn’t have. It was too risky bringing it back to Sweetwater, but I bought it anyway. After washing up in the hotel, I ditched the boy clothes and decided to try being myself while I was there. A man met me on the street and asked me out to dinner. He seemed nice and I was hungry, so I accepted. During dinner, he ordered a bottle of champagne. I just remember really liking it, although I didn’t like the tipsy feeling I got after we finished the bottle. After dinner, he walked me back to my hotel. By then, I realized that he was a little too nice and then he wasn’t very nice at all. I slapped him and ran back to the hotel. I hid the dress away and only wore it one other time, when Emma found it. I am not really sure why I trusted him, because I really shouldn’t have. He kidnapped me later and I ended up shooting him after he attacked me. Trust me it didn't end well.” The look of shock on all the faces around the table should have been her first clue that she shared a bit too much. Kid was the only one who had a fair idea of what had happened with Tyler, since he was there to pick up the pieces afterwards. Jem was the first to speak, “You were attacked by a man you had dinner with?” he roared, leaning forward in his seat. “What else happened to you before we found you? You haven’t been very forthcoming with information since you got here, Louise,” Jem continued, an angry edge to his voice. Lou stood up, threw her napkin down on the table and stormed from the room. Her angry footsteps were heard ascending the stairs to her room, followed by the slamming of her door. “Jem, you need to calm down. We both knew Louise had a life before she came here. The past is the past. It doesn’t matter going forward. You should just be happy she told you about this,” Theresa admonished her son. She knew his reaction might cause Louise to shut down and not share anything else with them. “Besides, I’m sure not everything was terrible. She did meet a group of very nice young men, and had Teaspoon and Rachel to look after them all.” Tension filled the room after Jem’s harsh comments and Lou’s hasty retreat to her room. Theresa stood and moved towards the stairs before Kid stopped her. “Theresa, let me go,” he said as he passed her and ran up the stairs in search of Lou. Kid slowly opened the bedroom door, not sure which Lou he was about to encounter. Would she be fuming mad or crying? What he found upon opening the door, was the last thing he expected. Lou had pulled her carpet bag out of the closet and was moving quickly around the room, pulling things from dressers and stuffing them into the bag flung on the bed. “Goin’ somewhere, Lou?” Kid questioned. Lou barely stopped to look at him before continuing into the bathing chamber, returning with soap and her mother’s brush. “I can't stay here,” she spat, angry tears running down her face. “He doesn’t really want me here. He wants the girl who left him ten years ago. She doesn’t exist anymore,” she fumed. Kid stood in front of the bag she was about to dump more things into, forcing her to stop and look at him. “Lou, he has no idea what you went through before you came here and it scares him. I can understand where he’s coming from. Don’t you remember how I was the first time we were together? How I used to worry all the time that something bad might happen to you? And how I might not be there to protect you? I think that’s how he feels right now. He has this overwhelming urge to protect you now that you’re here, probably coupled with a healthy dose of regret for not being there for you since you were taken from him all those years ago,” Kid said to her gently. “Maybe you should sit down with him and your grandmother and tell them everything,” he continued. At her panicked frown, he quickly added, “You know I’ll come with you if you want me to be there.” Lou walked around him and slumped on the bed in defeat. “I don’t want to see the pity in their eyes when I tell them about Wicks. They would never forgive themselves and I can’t do that to them,” she said sadly. Kid sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her small shoulders. “I didn’t do that, did I? When you told me about him?” he asked softly. “No,” she said, “but I think you already suspected what he did before I told you. I don’t think they have any idea.” “They might not, but maybe it’s time to let them share the burden with you. Besides, I think parts of their Louise are still there. You still love riding and horses, don’t you?”Kid said, stroking her arm as he spoke. “Yeah, but for how much longer?” Lou said blandly. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should tell them.” “It might make you feel better, you know, cause there won’t be any more secrets. And, they may just surprise you,” Kid said softly, resting his hand on her thigh and giving it a light squeeze in support. Lou turned her face to look at him, swiping the errant tears from her cheeks and thinking carefully about all that he had said to her. Feeling a new sense of determination to be done with this whole thing, Lou put down the soap and brush she was still holding, turned, and left the room. Running down the stairs, lest she lose her nerve, Lou burst into the dining room where only the adults remained, the children having gone to bed after Lou’s departure from the room. Looking directly at her father, Lou barked, “Alright. What do you want to know, Pa?” Kid appeared behind her. Judging by Lou’s stance, he didn’t think this was going to go well but decided to let her handle this the way she wanted. Jem just stared at his clearly irate daughter. “Well,” he said, “Why don’t you tell us what you did after you left the orphanage and before you signed on with the express, Louise? That might be a good place to start.” ‘Yeah,’ Lou thought, ‘that was an excellent place to start. Let’s just start right where all the trouble started.’ “I was fine for a few months after leaving the orphanage. I was able to find odd jobs here and there, enough for food and a place to sleep. But it was getting colder, and jobs for a thirteen-year-old girl became scarce. I was freezing and starving when a well-dressed man offered me a job doing laundry. He took me to a big house with lots of ladies living in it. It took me a while before I realized what kind of place it was. After I had been there for about a year, he came to my room one night and told me I was getting a promotion. Some of his customers had a preference for young girls, but his policy was that he had to teach them the ropes first to make them more pliable for his customers. The next morning, one of the other ladies found me and helped get me out of there. As soon as I was away from there, I cut off all my hair and started dressing as a boy. While I worked at the express, I have been beat up, kidnapped, held hostage, and shot. Anything else you would like to know? I think that about covers it,” she shouted through angry tears before darting past the door. Realizing she forgot something, Lou stormed back to the doorway, taking in the shocked look of her father before she blurted out, “Oh, and I forgot to add, I am with child!” with that last statement she turned on her heel and left the house. Chapter 9 There was a collective gasp from the male occupants of the dining room. Jem stood up to follow his daughter before he realized the other half of the table had not moved, nor seemed particularly shocked by Lou’s last statement. “Mama, did you know about this?” he asked Theresa at the other end of the table. “About the...?” she asked. Seeing the firm set of her son’s jaw, she just nodded. “But, not about the other. Although, I suspected something like that must’ve happened or she wouldn’t have gone to such efforts to disguise herself.” Jimmy, and Josiah just sat there in stunned silence while Rachel wisely chose to remain quiet about her knowledge of everything. Jem and Theresa were so caught up in their own confusing thoughts that they could barely acknowledge anyone else’s presence. Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Landry quietly excused themselves from the table and cleared the dessert dishes from the table, deciding this was most definitely a family manner and they would best serve the family by retreating to the kitchen. As Rachel and Jimmy made their excuses and left the room, they stopped suddenly when they spied Kid still standing in the foyer, just outside the doorway. “Rachel, how long have you known?” he asked quietly. Rachel looked contritely at the young man who had grown to be like a son to her. “Only a few days, Kid. Theresa hinted at it in her letter,” she said gently. “You should go to her, Kid. I’m sure this is not the way she planned on telling you,” she added before turning to climb the steps to her room. Jimmy just offered his friend a sympathetic pat on the shoulder before following in Rachel’s path. Kid, having witnessed Lou’s irate outburst, decided he had better go find her and figure out how mad she was with him. As he headed to the back door, he stopped to think about where she would have likely gone. Figuring the cottage was a good place to start, he started walking in that direction. His mind was swirling with the news she had just dropped on him. She was having a baby, his baby. Why didn’t she tell him when she figured it out? She had to know that he would have come immediately. Oh, how she must hate him for his part in all this. Try as he might, though, he couldn’t be angry or unhappy about hearing he was going to be a father. Having children with Lou was always something he had dreamed about. Maybe not this quickly, but considering how difficult it was for them to keep their hands to themselves, he figured it wouldn’t take too long once they were married. As he reached the door to the cottage, he wondered how Lou felt about all this. Was she angry? Scared? Happy? They really hadn’t talked about children before, only that she had said at one time that she wanted several someday. Opening the door, he entered the cottage, trying to hear if she was around. There was moonlight pouring in several windows in the back of the house, and not seeing her in the parlour, he turned to seek her out in the library. He found her standing, her back turned towards him, looking out the back window. “Lou,” he said softly. “Are you alright? You caused quite a scene up at the house.” “I know. I didn’t mean to just dump it on them all at once, but I was just so angry at him. The words were out of my mouth before I realized what I had said. At least he knows everything now. He can decide if he wants me to stay or not. Right now I really don’t care what he decides.” “You know you don’t mean that. I know you. And, I know this is what you have wanted for as long as I’ve known you.” “Yeah, it is. I’m just so tired of running and hiding all the time. It wears on you, you know?” Kid just nodded his agreement. “I thought I could finally be myself here and forget about all the stuff that came before.” Looking over at Kid, she corrected with a wry smile, “Well almost everything.” Walking over to join her, he stood on the other side of the window, but kept his eyes trained on her moonlit face. She turned her face from the window to look over at him. “I hope you know I didn’t mean you. You were the brightest part of all that,” she said softly, reaching out to touch his hand. Taking her hand, he pulled her over closer to him so they stood facing each other in the bright moonlight. “Do you want to get out of here for a little while?” Kid asked. “Where do you want to go?” Lou replied. “I don’t know about you, but how about a little trip to town?” Kid asked, with a devious smile on his face. “What do you have in mind, Kid?” “I thought we might stop in to see Amanda while we are there. I bet you haven’t seen her in awhile. We could tell her about our wedding. And maybe stay there for the night.” “Won’t they be looking for us?” “We’ll leave a note,” he said, dropping a soft kiss on her lips. “Any other plans for the evening, Kid?” “I thought,” he stopped to kiss her again, before continuing, “if we hurry, we might reach the preacher before he goes to bed.” He placed a longer kiss on her waiting lips. “And why would we want to see a preacher tonight, Kid?” she said breathily. “I thought about it on my way here. I want to move the wedding date up,” Kid said huskily, dropping kisses at the corner of her mouth and her cheek before pulling her ear lobe into his mouth. Barely able to think clearly anymore, Lou asked, “To when…oh, Kid.” The sensations his mouth on her neck and lobe were creating made it difficult to maintain any coherent thought. “Tonight.” Returning his attention to her mouth, Kid pressed his lips to hers, blending his mouth with hers as she opened her mouth allowing him entrance. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he pulled her closer to him, enclosing her petite frame within his embrace. Kid stroked his hand up her back to feel the softness of her hair as he plundered her mouth with his own. Moving his lips to taste the delicate column of her neck, Lou breathlessly queried, “Why so soon, Kid?” Pulling away from her, he stared into her hooded eyes as he said, “Because I want to take my wife to bed without having to worry about her father, grandmother, or anyone else having a problem with it. And, I really don’t want to wait for you to be mine, Lou. I love you. “ “I love you, too, Kid. But, if we’re gonna to find the preacher tonight, we better get going,” she paused before adding with a lift of her brow, “One horse or two?” “Two would be faster, but only slightly. I think Katy is up to the task.” Kid and Lou exited the cottage, closing the door behind them. They silently made their way up the field, being careful to stay in the shadows whenever possible so they could avoid detection by everyone in the house. Once in the barn, they quickly worked together to get Katy saddled before Kid mounted his favorite horse and Lou climbed up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. Katy took off out of the barn, raced past the house, and over the hill in the direction of town. From a second floor window, brown eyes watched as the horse and riders fairly flew stealthily into the night. When the horse and riders returned to the ranch three hours later, the house was dark. The occupants of the house, who had each found solace in the privacy of their own rooms, were all asleep. Carefully creeping up on the front porch, Louise tried to open the door, but found it locked from within. Looking at Kid, she whispered, “We should try the kitchen door. Grandma usually leaves it open for Mrs. Smith in the morning.” Following her suggestion, the pair crept around to the side door, and finding it open, snuck into the dark kitchen. “If we’re quiet, hopefully they won’t wake up, Kid,” Lou whispered as Kid walked into the corner of the work table upsetting the dishes that had been left there from earlier that night. “Shhhh!” she whispered. “Sorry! Just get us out of here! I can’t see a thing!” Kid whispered back. “Here, take my hand and stay close to me,” she hissed. Practically barrelling into her, Kid found himself pressed up against soft curves and could catch the light scent of lavender in her hair. He could feel his desire building as his pants became tight across his groin. God, she smelled good and felt even better as she was crushed against his chest. “Kid, come on,” Lou whispered as she opened the kitchen door and peered into the dark hallway. Did no one leave a light on for them? Looking both ways, she saw the coast was clear and felt her way down the hall to the stairs, running her hand along the chair rail for guidance. They quickly made it up the first flight, only one to go. Tiptoeing around the landing and keeping an eye on the bedroom doors for the slightest hint of sound or any sign of light, they made their way to the final flight of stairs. They were about half way up when Kid, unable to resist the feeling of the woman next to him, pushed her against the wall. Crushing her against the wall with his body, he captured her startled mouth with his own, kissing her deeply. Lou threaded one arm around his neck while the other searched out the button of his pants as she raised her knee against his hip, pressing her hips against his own. Kid’s hand dipped beneath the neckline of her blouse to caress the soft swells hidden below. “Kid,” Lou moaned into his mouth. “Not here.” Reluctantly, he released her from her place against the wall, allowing her to climb the last steps before they reached her closed door. Lou pressed her back against her door before reaching out to grab the waistband of Kid’s pants, pulling him close to her. Kissing him deeply, swirling her tongue in his mouth to find his own, she turned the knob, opening the door. Not breaking their kiss, Kid leaned down to pick Lou up in his arms and carried her across the threshold. As they entered the room, Lou was aware of the soft glow of lamp light filtering throughout the room. Someone had come up here after they left and had left the low light burning for them. Kid placed Lou's feet back on the floor as he pulled her close to him, winding his arms around her body, pressing her against his chest. Locking her sultry gaze with his, Lou placed her hands between them on his chest. She gently pushed herself a step away from him before she slowly started to unbutton her blouse. Kid, replacing her nimble fingers with his own larger ones, continued where she left off. As he fumbled with the delicate buttons of her blouse, Lou reached tentatively towards the man in front of her. Finding the buttons to his shirt, she started to unbutton them. As she reached the last button, she took a step towards him and pulled the bottom of his shirt from his waistband, pressing her open bodice closer to him. Kid pulled the front of her blouse open and pulled it over her shoulders, leaning down to lightly kiss her bare skin underneath. He quickly shrugged out of his own shirt and, reaching behind his neck, pulled his long john shirt over his head, discarding it on the floor. Lou turned, presenting her back to him, having already released the waistband of her skirt, allowing the voluminous garment to pool at her feet. Looking at her soft shoulders, Kid started removing the laces from her corset. Allowing the form fitting garment to join the other garments on the floor, he noticed the straining buttons of her chemise and the soft mounds urging him to release them. In one fluid motion, they were in each other’s arms, Kid’s lips crushing hers with desperate need. The feeling of her soft, pliant lips responding to his own caused his heart to speed up. His hands moved on their own accord, finding her firm breasts and gently started caressing them. He felt her nipples pebble under his touch as he started trailing hungry kisses along her delicate neck. Lou was overcome with sensation as she felt his wet mouth find her breasts. She arched her back, allowing him easier access. Feeling a shiver run down her back as he pulled the camisole from her body, she felt his hands everywhere at once and eagerly searched for his mouth with her own. Finally free, with no barrier between them, Kid lifted the lithe form in his arms and carried her over to the bed. Laying her down, he quickly covered her quaking body with his own. Her skin felt like liquid silk as he ran his hands down her soft sides. She moaned in his ear as his fingers stroked the sensitive flesh at the apex of her thighs. The motion of his probing fingers made the butterflies in her stomach turn into a torrent of desire, pooling in the pit of her stomach. In that instant, she wanted him to claim her again as his own. Between rasping breaths, “Kid,” Lou begged, “please.” Feeling her body trembling beneath him, Kid settled himself between her trembling thighs and pressed himself home. Lou was immediately filled with the scent of Kid’s skin as her face pressed against his shoulder. She pressed frantic kisses to the moist skin she found there. Her senses were being assaulted with every movement of his hands, his mouth and she felt that she might burst into flames with his every touch. The tension she felt growing in her core started to build as she felt him slowly move inside her. Kid could feel the tightness of her walls surrounding his shaft. She was quivering around him and he wanted more. He started moving inside her, slowly at first, then increasing his speed as he felt her writhing beneath him. The pressure in his groin was building with every thrust and every movement from this glorious woman beneath him. He felt her walls contract around him as he pushed into her again and again, feeling her drawing his release from him. As he plunged inside her one last time, Lou felt her insides turn to liquid as she fell apart around him. She clasped him tightly to her, feeling the shimmer of sweat forming between their sated bodies. “I love you, wife,” he whispered raggedly in her ear. Coming down from the heights of ecstasy, she murmured back, “I love you, too husband.” As they lay curled in each other’s arms, basking in the glow of their lovemaking, Lou rolled over so she could gaze into those blue eyes that filled her with love and happiness. Kid’s hands started roaming up and down her ribs with a feather light touch. “I wish we could stay here forever,” she whispered as his eyes took in her soft brown eyes and slightly flushed cheeks. “Me too,” he softly replied, letting his forehead dip to meet hers. “I’m glad the preacher decided to stay up late tonight,”she added before continuing, “I can think of nothing better than becoming your wife tonight.” She started moving her hands over his chest, playing with the slight furring she found there. Stilling her hand on his chest with his own, he gazed in her eyes as he tentatively asked,” Why did you say that to your family tonight before you left?” “Say what?” she asked, clearly avoiding the subject. “Why did you tell your family that you were with child?” he pressed, his breath stilling in his chest. “Kid,” she started, “Remember our time at the pond, right before I left?” With his brief nod of acknowledgement, she continued, “You apparently gave me quite a goodbye present,” smiling shyly up at his questioning face. “You mean...You really are?” he asked, incredulously, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Lou smiled up at her handsome husband and nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Yes, Kid. I am,” she said. Staying nestled up against her husband, Lou rolled to her back and drew his hand to cradle the small swell in her abdomen. “Our child is growing in there,” she informed him. “That’s why I’ve been sick every morning for the last few weeks. The smell of coffee or oatmeal sends me running for the chamber pot. My grandmother figured it out about a month ago and has banned oatmeal from the breakfast menu. She’s also been sending biscuits and herbal tea up to me each morning as soon as she is up, although sometimes I’m up before they get here. I have to eat here before I can join the rest of the family for breakfast,” Lou finished, enjoying feeling Kid’s strong hand caressing the result of their union. “It’s also why I have been so tired lately. I’ll sleep all night only to wake up and want to go back to sleep right after breakfast.” Kissing her cheek, Kid softly said, “I’m sorry if it has been hard on you, Lou. Are you mad at me?” Turning her head to look at him, she demanded, “What? About this?” She indicated where his hand currently lay on her belly. “Yeah. I didn’t mean for this to happen, Lou. You have to know that,” he mumbled sadly. Feeling her annoyance rising within her, she turned and grabbed his face in her hands. “Let me just say this one time. We did this. You did not do this to me. When I found out I was carrying our child, I felt such a sense of happiness. Even if I couldn’t have you, I would still have a part of you with me forever,” she implored, kissing his lips. “I am so happy about this and about us,” Lou added before continuing, “Why? Are you not happy with my news?” Pulling her into his strong arms, Kid just smiled as he confessed, “Lou, I am so happy to hear that I’ll be a father, I was just afraid that I messed things up between us, that’s all.” “Well, if you messed things up, as you put it, then I guess you’re stuck with me now. Didn’t you just promise to love, honor, and cherish me for all the days of your life?” “Till death do us part,” he said before claiming her lips with his own as their passion flamed anew. Daylight was flooding the room when the newlyweds finally woke up from their first night of wedded bliss. Lou could feel the slow, even breaths of her husband as he lay behind her, his chest pressed to her back. Her head lay on his arm, while his other one lay curled protectively over her side, his hand covering hers at the site of their growing child safe in her abdomen. Gaining consciousness, she rolled over to gaze on the sleeping face of her husband. Husband. She still couldn’t believe they had actually gotten that preacher to marry them last night. Thankfully, his wife and daughter had a romantic streak and persuaded him to perform the ceremony for the young couple standing in front of them. Louise stroked his relaxed face and pressed soft kisses to his brow and lips in an attempt to rouse him from sleep. “Mmmmm,” Kid moaned, enjoying his wife’s attention. “I could get used to this.” “Kid, we need to get up. I think we may have missed breakfast. And we were supposed to meet Pa down at the cottage this morning,” Lou reminded him. Darn. He had forgotten about that. He had been so eager to get his new wife home and get her into bed, he had completely forgotten that her father was somewhere around the ranch. And he was probably loading his shotgun, readying it for the next time he saw the man who had compromised his daughter. Holding the quilt against her bare chest, Lou sat up in bed, instantly regretting her decision. Kid watched as she grabbed the spare quilt from the foot of the bed, wrapped it around her naked form before sprinting to the bathing chamber. Spying his discarded long johns on the floor, he surmised he had to get his new wife some breakfast to ease her nausea. Donning his long johns and pants and throwing his favorite blue shirt over his head, he headed to the door with the intention of going to the kitchen in search of sustenance. Kid almost missed the large tray of breakfast foods waiting outside their bedroom door. Stooping to pick it up, he returned to the room to find Lou had joined him. “Where do you want to eat this morning, wife?”he asked jauntily. “Breakfast in bed sounds good to me,” she said, dropping the quilt, allowing him to see all of her. His hungry gazed roved over her nakedness, taking in the subtle changes her childbearing state had wrought on her body. He noted the added fullness of her breasts and the slight rounding of her abdomen. God she was beautiful! He had to cool his ardor, lest he decide to devour her for breakfast. Her well-being came first, he reminded himself. Lou snuggled herself back in their inviting bed as Kid placed the tray in the center of the mattress. He stripped back down and joined her for their repast. Taking the fork in his hand, he fed her bites of waffle and bacon, kissing her between each bite. “Kid, you need to eat too,” she admonished him. He was always taking care of her. Now that she was officially his, she didn’t see that changing anytime soon. But, someone had to look out for him. Thankfully, she thought, that’s now my job. Breakfast finished, Lou eyed Kid with a hunger in her eyes he had rarely seen. Removing the tray from their bed, he pulled her into his arms, allowing her to devour him with a passion equal to hers. Their hunger sated, they lay wrapped in each other's arms once again. Lou suddenly jumped up, saying, “ Kid! I almost forgot…” She scampered from their bed, and began rifling through her dresser drawer, obviously searching for something. “Lou, what are you doing? Come back to bed,” he urged her. “I will, just give me a minute. I know it’s here somewhere,” she said, pushing more things around in the drawer. “Ah!” she exclaimed. “I found it!” Clutching the wadded fabric in her hands, she returned to the bed. “Grandma, tried to get me to get rid of this when I got here, but I thought you might like to have the pleasure,”she divulged, handing the small bundle over to him. Her eyes implored him to take it. Looking at the mess of muslin in his hands, a look of confusion came over Kid’s face. “Lou, what is this mess?” he asked, trying to figure out what exactly she had just given him. She smiled slyly at him as she wiggled over beside him, placing her chin on his shoulder to watch him figure it out. “It’s just a long strip of muslin. What would I need this for?” he added, his face looking more perplexed as he handled the long strip. Kid turned his quizzical face to look at his wife as she raised her brow to indicate he should recognize it. He kept looking from the muslin strip in his hands to Lou and back again. Finally, a look of realization came over his face before he smiled, confident that he had figured it out. “I guess you won’t be needing this anymore, now will you,” he answered her triumphant gaze. “Not unless you think I should resume my boyish garb, Kid,” was her saucy reply. Kid shook his head before throwing the rag over his shoulder and pulled his wife beneath him. “No. I think I much prefer you like this,” was his suggestive pronouncement. Lou just giggled as Kid trapped her mouth with a kiss. A knock at the door pulled them from their blissful morning escapade. “Louise, dear,” Theresa called,”Are you up yet? Your father has been waiting to go to the cottage with you this morning.” Kid resumed kissing her neck and Lou was forced to stifle a giggle. “Louise, are you still in bed? It’s after ten, you really need to get a move on it. Jem doesn’t have all day,” Theresa persisted at the door. “If you don’t open this door right now, young lady, I’m coming in,” she announced firmly. Realizing she wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing, and neither was her husband, Lou began squirming under Kid’s body in an attempt to get up. “Kid,” she hissed in his ear, “you have to get off me. I don’t think either one of us wants her to walk in here and find us like this.” Kid silenced her protests with his lips. “Kid, I’m serious. She will come in here. None of the doors have locks!” “Alright, Louise. I am coming in.” And with that, the door flew open. Louise buried her face in Kid’s shoulder as her face burned a deep shade of crimson. Kid quickly rearranged them under the quilts, pulling them up to his wife’s chin to hide her unclothed form from the critical eye of her grandmother. Perusing the scattered clothing around the room, Theresa could only draw one conclusion. “Louise!” she shouted. “I realize that you are already in a child-bearing state, but that doesn’t mean you can bed down with your intended under this roof!” she admonished loudly. Theresa’s furious voice reverberated through the house, drawing the attention of her father who took the stairs by twos to make his way to her room in no time. “What is going on here, Louise!” Jem bellowed through the house. His glare made Lou shrink back into the bed, trying to hide behind Kid’s shoulder. “You got no call speaking to Lou like that,” Kid asserted. Jem turned his furious gaze to Kid. Jem responded with angry incredulity, “I got no right? You have no room for any opinion! Not when I come up here only to find you in bed with my daughter. My daughter, may I remind you, that you have already compromised!” Kid was not going to sit here and let the man insult his wife like this. “I do when you’re talking to my wife like this,” Kid retorted. “She’s not your wife yet, Kid!” Jem shouted. “Oh, yes she is. The preacher in town married us last night,” Kid yelled back. Jem stood stock still, the shock apparent on his face. Theresa stepped forward to inquire, “Do you have any proof of this marriage, Kid?” “If you’ll give us a few minutes, I’ll get it out for you,” he said, indicating the door. Theresa ushered her still fuming son out the bedroom door, saying as she left, “You have five minutes, you two. We’ll be waiting in the parlour.” Five minutes later, Kid and Lou entered the parlour, hand in hand. Theresa and Jem were already there. Jem stood pacing by the fireplace while Theresa sat primly on the settee. As the young couple entered, Jem walked over to stand nose to nose with Kid. He felt the hand holding his tighten in fear. “How dare you show up here unannounced and then accost my daughter under my roof. I can’t believe I allowed you to stay,”Jem said with disgust. Lou dropped Kid’s hand and pushed herself between the two much larger men. “Pa, stop it. Listen to me. Everything is fine. We are married now, you don’t need to do this,” Lou pleaded with her father. Kid just stood behind her, fuming at the gall of the man facing him. “Lou, honey, please go sit with your grandmother. Jem and I will settle this,” Kid coaxed. He did not want her to get hurt should Jem decide to throw a punch. Louise felt her grandmother gently take her by the arm and tugged her over beside her on the settee. “Let them handle this, dear. This has been brewing for a while. Neither one of them would ever forgive themselves if you were to get hurt,” Theresa warned her. Listening to the woman sitting beside her, Lou decided to stay where she was as her father and husband stood toe to toe glaring at each other. “Tell me why I shouldn’t throw you out right now,” Jem seethed. How dare this man stand in front of him and even speak about his daughter. As far as he was concerned, he never needed to see Kid again. “Because I am her husband. If you throw me out, she’ll come with me,” Kid answered honestly. “She’s my wife, you can’t keep her here if she doesn’t want to stay and you know it. Is that what you want, Jem?” “I want her safe, and right now, you seem like the most dangerous thing in her life.” “Pa,” Lou interjected from the couch. “Kid would never hurt me, you know that.” “Louise, stay out of this,”Jem replied, not taking his eyes off Kid. Theresa could no longer sit idly by. “Jem,” she said, rising from her seat. “Remember how you felt about Mary Louise all those years ago? Imagine if you had run off with her and married her before her father found out about the two of you. Things might have turned out very differently.” She tried getting her son to see reason. “Louise and Kid love each other, they are married, and they’re having a baby. What is the problem? If you would calm down, I’m sure Kid could show you their marriage certificate.” Jem glanced at his mother before taking a step back from Kid. “Alright, Kid. Let’s see it.” Kid produced the paper from his shirt pocket. Taking the paper from him, Jem looked it over and admitted, “It seems real.” “Jem, it’s real. If you have to, go into town and ask the preacher. He’ll tell you we showed up on his door around nine o’clock last night asking him to marry us. He didn’t want to, but his wife and daughter persuaded him to go ahead with it. I can assure you, it is legal,” Kid informed him. Theresa, returning to her seat next to Louise, professed, “Jem, I saw them leave last night, heading in the direction of town. I figured they would be back late, so I left a lamp in Louise’s room after I saw them leave.” Louise turned her face to examine her grandmother’s. “That was you?” she asked with disbelief. “We tried to be discreet when we left, especially after the mess I made of dessert.” “Why didn’t you wait until we could have a wedding here, darling?” Theresa asked. “I thought you wanted a wedding here.” “We didn’t want a big wedding and we figured, well, that...It just seemed like a good idea. Neither of us wanted to wait until then,” Louise declared. Jem returned to his original spot by the fireplace, watching as Kid moved to stand next to a seated Louise. He felt bad about his angry outburst, but after finding them together in her room in a rather compromising position, he thought he was more than justified. Kid was the first to speak after their angry exchange of words. “Jem, I realize we may not have gone about things in quite the right way, but, sir, I love Lou more than anything in the world and couldn’t wait to make her my wife. I understand if you would like me to leave.” Louise looked up sharply at his words, a frown crossing her face. She tried to rise, but Kid just motioned to her to stay where she was. “I’m sorry if you cannot accept me into your family, but like it or not, Louise is my wife and I have no intention of staying away from her ever again.” Kid’s words were like a soothing balm to Jem’s heart. He knew what it was like to love someone that much. After all, he had spent years watching over the woman he loved even though she was married to another. He had missed most of his children’s lives because of his mistakes. Leaning over the fireplace to stare into the fire, Jem was at a crossroads. He could either accept his daughter’s husband or he could lose his daughter forever. Kid may not have made the best choices when it came to Louise, but the more he got to know him, the more he realized he and Kid were more similar than he would ever admit out loud. “No, Kid. That won’t be necessary,” Jem quietly admitted. “You and Louise are welcome to stay for as long as you want to. I hope this rough start this morning will be forgotten in time.” “Maybe, you’ll look back one day and laugh about it,” Louise piped up. Jem just looked wryly over at his eldest child. “Maybe,” he said with a wry half laugh. Theresa rose to stand next to her son. “Jem, why don’t you congratulate Louise and Kid on their marriage.” Offering his hand to Kid in welcome, Jem said, “Welcome to the family, Kid.” Pulling Louise into his arms, he whispered, “Congratulations, sweetheart.” Louise hugged her father before retreating to her husband’s side. As she gazed up adoringly at Kid, Jem turned to Kid and asked,“Weren’t we going to start on that cottage today, Kid?” “That was the plan. Did you still want to, given our late start?”Kid replied. “No time like the present,” Jem stated. Glancing down at the bare feet of his daughter and son-in-law, he added, “You’re gonna need shoes. I’ll meet you down there,” he said as he left the room. Twenty minutes later, Kid arrived at the cottage with Jimmy, informing Jem that Louise and Rachel were packing lunch and would join them shortly. The three men started their assessment of the dilapidated house, making their way around the outside and noting what needed to be done to the exterior of the house. Jem advised that they cut back all the wisteria growing rampant over the front. From their short conversation the night before, Kid knew Lou was not going to be happy to lose the flowering vines. “Maybe we could leave some around the door,” Kid suggested. Catching Jem’s look of bemusement, he added, “I think Lou was wanting to see them once they bloomed come spring.” Jem just nodded and kept moving. “We should probably repair the siding up on the second floor,” Jimmy said, pointing out the obvious hole in the wall just above their heads. “I don’t know many women who want to have a cold winter wind blowing in their bedroom every night,” he added. Nodding in agreement, the men moved onto the inside. “Last time I was here, the stairs needed some work. I am afraid they might need to be rebuilt. Louise refused to listen to me when I told her not to go up there, and looked around up there anyway,” Jem mused. “She definitely does not like to be told what to do, does she?” he added, turning a wry smile on his son-in-law. Kid nodded his head, snorting his agreement. “No, she definitely has a mind of her own,” he said. “ I gave up trying to tell her what to do a long time ago,” Kid added before continuing, “When we were first together, she used to get so mad at me anytime I would try to tell her not to do something. I just wanted her to be safe and she was always hell bent on proving herself.” Jem smirked at the young man beside him, “I would bet that didn’t go over too well with her, did it?” “Nope. We ended up going our separate ways for a while after that.” “But we certainly appreciated all that wood you chopped when you was fretting over her,” Jimmy professed to Kid’s chagrin. Jem sighed, taking in the information Kid and Jimmy had just divulged. He recalled Theresa telling him something about the two of them being together, then apart, and then back together again. And about all the worrying Kid had done, at least in the beginning. “The floor looks pretty good, Kid. If we just repair some of the spots in the kitchen and add a fresh coat of whitewash, the downstairs should be ready to move into,” Jimmy called from the kitchen. Kid and Jem appeared, surveying the kitchen floor before agreeing and moving on. Once upstairs, the three men inspected each of the six bedrooms. Jimmy met Kid in the hall and Jem could overhear him ribbing his friend a bit, “What will you do with all these bedrooms here, Kid? Planning on having lots of guests?” He caught the crimson flood Kid’s face as he joined them at the top of the stairs. “Looks like just minor stuff up here and maybe shoring up the roof in spots,” Jem informed them. “I thought about just putting a new roof on, Jem, that way I know it won’t leak the first time it rains,” Kid responded, eyeing the roof suspiciously. “Jimmy, how you feel about building a roof tomorrow?” he announced, slapping his friend on the shoulder. “When do we start?” was the reply. Once they were finished with their inspection, the men returned to the front yard of the cottage so they could plan out the necessary repairs for the house. Looking over by the lake, Kid saw that Lou and Rachel had recently arrived and were setting lunch out for the five of them on a large blanket. The men joined the women for lunch and sandwiches were passed around. As they ate, Kid stated, “Lou, I think we could have this house ready for us to move into in maybe a week or two.” Jem watched his son-in-law as he explained what needed to be done before they could officially live there. “I think if you and Jimmy can get the roof done , I can get Josiah to help me with the stairs. If we can get some of the other hands to help out with the other more minor stuff, I think that’s a definite possibility, son,” Jem suggested. “Then, Rachel and I could get it cleaned up and we can move in,” Lou said, relieved to see her father and husband getting along so well, considering they almost came to blows this morning. “Why are you in such an all-fired hurry to move out of the big house there, Kid,” Jimmy asked innocently. He had a pretty good idea what had transpired this morning judging by all the shouting he and Rachel had heard shortly after breakfast. Kid only confirmed his suspicions when he shot Jimmy a warning glare, causing Jimmy to erupt with laughter. “Couldn’t make it more than one night, huh?” he said between hoots of laughter. “You know,” Jimmy continued, directing his comments to Jem now, “I’m surprised you haven’t fetched the preacher out here today. Back when we were at the bunkhouse, these two,” he paused indicating Kid and Lou with his hand, “used to sneak out and spend the night in the barn. They would usually appear back around dawn, before falling asleep in their bunks again.” Despite the blush appearing on Lou’s face and the glower on Kid’s face, Jimmy continued to laugh. Jem stared at his daughter and son-in-law before turning to Jimmy, saying, “Well I guess it’s a good thing they got married last night, Jimmy.” With that announcement, both Jimmy and Rachel turned their heads to look at their friends. “You got married last night?” Rachel asked in disbelief. Louise and Kid nodded. “Yup,” Louise said as she started to pack the picnic back into the basket. “Rachel, you ready to head back up to the house? I promised Mrs. Smith I would bake some bread this afternoon for dinner tonight and I need to get started if it’s going to be done in time.” At Rachel’s nod, Lou handed her the folded blanket, picked up the basket and started walking across the field towards the house. Jimmy and Jem stood watching as Kid trotted off after his new bride. “Lou!” he called. Hearing her name, Lou paused, turning to see her husband jogging to catch up with her. “I have to go with Jem to see about some issue with horses disappearing in the north pasture. Are you gonna come riding with us today?” he asked gently. “I don’t know. I’m kind of tired. I was thinking about finishing in the kitchen and maybe going to lay down while the dough rises. Come find me when you get back?” she asked, raising her brow in question. Dropping a kiss on her waiting lips, he answered, “See you soon.” Lou and Rachel again set off for the house while Jem, Kid, and Jimmy headed to the barn to see how the hands were doing. Kid and Jimmy allowed Jem to walk ahead of them, giving the two friends a chance to talk. “Things have been pretty crazy around here since Rachel and I got here, Kid. What happened this morning? We heard lots of yelling right after breakfast,” JImmy inquired. “Let’s just say, if we weren’t already married, we would have gotten married today. Lou’s grandmother walked in on us…” Kid stopped, hoping Jimmy caught his meaning. Seeing that his friend understood, Kid continued, “She started yelling, and then Jem showed up.” Rubbing a hand over his face, Kid added, “Needless to say, it was a good thing we had proof of our marriage. I don’t think I would still be here if we didn’t. To be honest, I am surprised he didn’t just shoot me right there,” “You certainly have an interesting way of doing things sometimes, Kid, especially for someone who can be so hung up on doing things proper,” Jimmy teased. “Anyway, after this morning, I want to move into that cottage as soon as possible so we don’t have a repeat of this morning. Did you know none of the doors in the house have locks? Lou neglected to tell me that until this morning.” “You should be glad it was Theresa and Jem that found you this morning, Could you imagine if it had been Jeremiah or Theresa? I don’t think either of them would ever be able to look at you again.” “Luckily, they were already at school,” Kid agreed. “So, what about Lou’s big bombshell last night? Did you know about that?” Jimmy asked tentatively. “Well, I think we both knew about most of that. You might not have known about what happened to her before joining the express, but you knew everything that happened when she was riding.” “That ain’t what I’m talking about, Kid” “You mean the last part?” Kid asked. “No, that was a surprise. Actually, I wasn’t sure if she was serious about that last night.” “And now?” “Now…” Kid paused, smiling, “She told me everything this morning.” “So it’s true, then? I’m gonna be an uncle?” Jimmy asked proudly. “I would say this baby will have four pretty great uncles, five when you add Jeremiah,” Kid admitted proudly. “Congratulations, Kid!” Jimmy declared as the two men arrived at the barn, finding Jem frantically saddling his horse. “Kid, get Katy saddled. We need to get out to the north pasture. One of the horses was found. It’s dead,” Jem announced, mounting Merriweather and galloping out of the barn. Drop me a note and let me know what you thought!