The Secret Life of the Ice Queen
Blackadder Hall
Queenie's Cunning Page of Blackadder
Theme to The Black Adder
Drekel's Reign of Terror : Sequel to The Secret Life of the Ice Queen
Medieval Clip Art
Panda and Edmund : Sequel to Drekel's Reign of Terror

(Note to reader: You will have a much better understanding of all this if you've viewed all the The Black Adder first season episodes starring Rowan Atkinson as Prince Edmund.)

You could probably visualize this story better if I give you a list of who I'd cast in the roles. So here it is:

ROWAN ATKINSON as Edmund and Drekel
KATE MOSS as Panda
TIM MCINNERNY as Percy
TONY ROBINSON as Baldrick
RIK MAYALL as Patrick
MIRANDA RICHARDSON as Dr. Le Fay
STEPHEN FRY as Dr. Melchett and Merlin
JASON DONE as Mordred



The story picks up from where Panda and Edmund ends.

Drekel/Edmund and Panda are enjoying their new life as King and Queen in the fictional DVD world created by Merlin. Rowena and Callie are with them now, thanks to Merlin.

It is their first night for the King and Queen in their new royal bed chambers.

DREKEL/EDMUND: Panda, dearest, you seem so quiet this evening. Are you all right?

PANDA: Yes, Edmund. I just need some time to fully absorb that incredible piece of news Patrick revealed to me about my having spent the past year sharing my bed with you and Drekel. I look at you, and all I see is my beloved Edmund. Is it really you and Drekel somehow merged together as one, both body and soul?

DREKEL/EDMUND: It is true, my love. Does that change things between us?

PANDA: I'd like to think not. But part of me feels a bit odd participating in some sort of bizarre menage a trois. Does this mean that all those times when we made love during the past year, Drekel experienced what you felt?

DREKEL/EDMUND: Yes. Every delightful moment.

PANDA: Really? Drekel the demon? Drekel the former Supreme Ruler of the Evil Ones? Drekel whose goal was to rule the entire world? That Drekel?

DREKEL/EDMUND: The very same one, yes.

PANDA: I see. Well, we certainly put the 'fun' in dysfunctional, don't we?

DREKEL/EDMUND: I guess we do.

He puts his arms around her and kisses her. She smiles and gently pulls away.

PANDA: Not tonight, darling. I have a headache.

She rolls over and faces the wall.

Drekel/Edmund is looking very sad. He sighs and resigns himself to a night without the passionate lovemaking he used to enjoy so frequently with his beloved Panda.

The next day mid-afternoon:

Edmund and Drekel are having a private conversation audible only to each other.

EDMUND: You do realize that it was really ME she was making love to over the past year, and that you were simply along for the ride. You realize that, right?

DREKEL: Well, I guess it depends on how you look at it. From my point of view, she was making love to ME, and you were the one along for the ride.

EDMUND [testily]: Oh, really? Well, if you think back carefully you'll remember that it was MY name and not yours that she cried out during her throes of passion!

DREKEL: All right, all right, Edmund. You win. After all, you are the one she loves, not me. To her I'm this terrible evil demon she and the other Wishlings were sworn to hunt, fight and destroy. And for me to end up merged with you, her beloved chosen one, well, it must be difficult for her to accept.

EDMUND: Yes. Well, you just remember that.

DREKEL: I will. Where is our beloved Panda anyway?

EDMUND: MY beloved Panda. I believe she's with Rowena.

Drekel/Edmund sits alone in the dining hall. He is feeling very sad. Panda enters the dining hall, but he doesn’t hear her. She smiles and quietly comes over to him and surprises him with a warm hug and a passionate kiss.

PANDA: I missed you last night, dearest Edmund. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you, the way I know you wanted me to be.

DREKEL/EDMUND: Panda, I understand. I still love you.

PANDA: And I’ll always love you. We’ll figure out a way to get through this. Meanwhile, I’ve decided I’m not going to let this get in the way of my being able to have my way with you. If you’re not busy right now, would you like to join me back in our royal bed chambers?

DREKEL/EDMUND [eagerly]: Why, yes, I believe I’m free at the moment.

They rush out of the dining hall and head back to their royal bed chambers.

Drekel and Edmund have another private conversation audible only to each other.

EDMUND: Stay out of this now, you hear?

DREKEL: Fine by me. You’re in charge for now. No need to deprive our beloved queen of her needs, is there? Go for it, Edmund. I’ll just close my eyes and take a snooze.

EDMUND: Uh, yes. Take a snooze. A nice long snooze.

An hour later Panda and Edmund are feeling very satisfied. They are cuddling and enjoying their closeness. They are just about to fall asleep after making passionate love.

PANDA [smiling at Drekel/Edmund]: Oh, Edmund. I couldn't be happier. Your sweet face is what I want to see just before I fall asleep at night and the first thing I want to see when I awaken in the morning. I love you so much, my dearest.

DREKEL/EDMUND: And I love you, my darling Panda.

She drifts off to sleep.

Edmund is wondering if there is any way to successfully separate Drekel’s soul and body from his own without any harm coming to either of them.

DREKEL: I’ve wondered about that myself, Edmund.

EDMUND: What?! How long have you been awake?

DREKEL: Not long. Do you think it can be done? Regaining our own individual souls and bodies?

EDMUND: I really don’t know.

Later that evening in the royal bed chambers:

PANDA: Edmund, Rowena has expressed an interest in having her own pet. She enjoys playing with Callie, but feels that since Callie is really my cat, she'd like to have a pet of her very own.

DREKEL/EDMUND: Oh? What kind of a pet?

PANDA: She'd like a puppy. I told her I'd discuss it with you first and explained that a puppy is a great and important responsibility.

DREKEL/EDMUND: If our little girl wants a puppy, that's fine with me.

PANDA: She'll be happy to hear that, darling.

The following day Drekel/Edmund, Percy and Baldrick are fishing at a nearby stream. Suddenly the sky becomes dark. It begins to rain. A freak thunder and lightning storm ensues.

DREKEL/EDMUND: So much for our fishing. Let's hurry back to the castle.

PERCY: We didn't even catch anything.

DREKEL/EDMUND: We'll catch our deaths of cold if we don't get back inside soon. Let's go!

BALDRICK: Right, m'lord. I've got our fishing equipment.

They head back toward the castle. Baldrick gets separated from them by heading down one path, thinking they are following him, but Percy and Drekel/Edmund go down the other path.

A bolt of lightning hits Drekel/Edmund and somehow splits him in two separate beings: Edmund is knocked down to the ground in one direction, and Drekel is knocked down to the ground in the other direction. Drekel, being a demon with a very high threshold for pain, is merely fazed, but Edmund is unconscious.

Percy turns to look at them and is very surprised to see what he thinks are two Edmunds.

PERCY: Wow! M'lord, how did you do that?

DREKEL: Do what? [He doesn't notice Edmund on the ground.]

PERCY: Split yourself in two like that!

DREKEL: What?

Drekel looks around and sees Edmund still unconscious. Thinking very quickly, he knocks Percy unconscious. Drekel uses his demon magic to teleport Percy back to the castle. He then carries Edmund to a nearby cave.

DREKEL: Edmund, can you hear me? Wake up!

EDMUND [groaning]: Ow! What hit me?

DREKEL: Freak bolt of lightning. It split us back into our own individual bodies and souls. And look at you, Edmund. Still alive, not transparent or fading into nothingness even though that videotape you came from is long gone. I guess having spent all this time merged with me somehow gave you back some substance.

EDMUND: How fortunate. Why are we inside this cave?

DREKEL: Percy's back at the castle, and I imagine Baldrick will be there soon. I wanted to speak with you alone.

EDMUND: Yes?

DREKEL: It's time for us to part company. I'm going to take your place as King Edmund and you're going to spend the rest of your life in exile.

EDMUND: You must be joking!

DREKEL: I've never been more serious before in my life. This is the only way I know that I can have Panda now that we're each back in our own bodies. By posing as you, Panda will let me have her. She hates Drekel the demon.

EDMUND: But I thought we were friends!

DREKEL: We are, we are. That's why I'm letting you live. I could just kill you with my own bare hands, like when I killed your father. But I'm going to spare your life. Oh, just one thing: Don't ever show your face around the castle again or I'll break your neck.

EDMUND: You said you've turned over a new leaf. No more committing evil deeds, you said. Well, it didn't take long for you to go back to your old ways, did it?

DREKEL: Apparently not. Good-bye, Edmund.

EDMUND: Wait! You're just going to leave me here in this cave? How will I live?

DREKEL: Oh, that's right. Panda's spoiled you these past few years with that Full Service Wish Mode, didn't she? You never had to lift a finger to put a meal on the table or clean the house or anything. Well, Edmund, here's your chance to build some character. You can live off of the land. Hunt your own food, build your own fire to keep warm, and so on. It'll toughen you and do you some good.

EDMUND: B-but I'm no good at any of that! Can't you at least give me some supplies? A blanket and some food?

DREKEL: Naw! Stop whimpering and butch up! I'm out of here.

Drekel uses his demon magic to teleport himself back to the castle.

The storm has stopped. Edmund leaves the cave. He wanders around trying to figure a way out of this situation. Suddenly he hears growling. He slowly turns toward the sound and sees a very large wolf about ten yards away. The wolf bares its fangs and stares at Edmund. It is about to rush over and pounce on him.

EDMUND [thinking to himself]: Oh, great. When Merlin created this fictional DVD world, why couldn't he have left out the freak lightning storms and scary wolves?

The wolf charges toward Edmund. Edmund is petrified with fear, so he closes his eyes tightly and raises his arms up to cover his face. He braces himself for the impact of the large wolf, but instead he feels a small bundle of fur hitting him and hears a high-pitched yelp. He opens his eyes and sees a very small young wolf pup fall to the ground. The large wolf is nowhere to be seen. Rowena appears and picks up the wolf pup.

ROWENA: Daddy! Do you like him? He's so cute! Can I have this puppy? I like him better this way than when he was big, so I changed him. Is that okay, Daddy?

So now Edmund knows Rowena has inherited her mother's Wishling magic. Up until now she has always kept it a secret.

Meanwhile, back at the castle Drekel is tending to Percy's bump on the head.

DREKEL: Percy, that was quite a bump on the head you suffered when you tripped and fell.

PERCY [a bit groggy]: Tripped and fell? You hit me on the head!

DREKEL: What? That's nonsense! I clearly remember when we were rushing back to the castle seeing you trip over your own feet and fall. That's when you hit your head.

PERCY: Strange. That's not at all how I remember it.

DREKEL: Here, Percy. Have some food, then get some rest. You'll feel better in the morning. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to see the Queen.

Drekel sees Panda in the library. He smiles as he approaches her.

DREKEL: There you are, my beauty! [He embraces her and kisses her passionately.]

PANDA: Darling, how was the fishing?

DREKEL: Cut short by some freak lightning storm. Didn't catch anything, but it was good to spend some time with Percy and Baldrick.

PANDA: That's nice. I missed you. If you could meet me in five minutes in our royal bed chambers, I'd like to show you something new I have to wear for you.

DREKEL: Certainly. I'll be counting the seconds.

Panda leaves the library and heads to the royal bed chambers. Drekel is very eager to have Panda all to himself. He grins and rubs his hands together in anticipation of tonight's bedtime frolics.

A couple of minutes later Panda waits in the royal bed chambers. She lies on the bed and is dressed very seductively in an elegant black teddy. Suddenly without warning an anomaly occurs and Panda disappears. A second later in her place appears a woman who looks exactly like Panda, only she is dressed in a long flannel plaid nightgown, has her hair done up in large curlers and is wearing a mask of face cream.

The doors to the royal bed chambers open and Drekel enters.

DREKEL: Here I am, ready or not, my darling!

Scene: The dining hall of the castle. Percy and Baldrick suddenly hear a pair of loud blood-curdling screams coming from the royal bed chambers.

BALDRICK: Good Lord, what was that?!

PERCY: Oh, just the King and Queen having some rumpy-pumpy, I imagine. Leave them be. They certainly wouldn't us barging in on them.

Scene: The royal bed chambers.

DREKEL: Good Lord, Panda! A long flannel plaid nightgown? THAT's the 'something new' you wanted to wear for me? And what's that goop on your face? And your hair?! What have you done to your hair?! And why did you just scream at me like that? I nearly stained my tights!

PANDA 2 (That's what we will call the woman who looks like Panda): Your scream was loud enough to wake the dead! Who are you? And how do you know my name? And where the hell am I? What is this place? Explain! I want answers now! [She keeps her distance from him.] Are you deaf? Explain! [She grabs a nearby vase.] Give me some straight answers or I'll bash in your head with this vase!

DREKEL: Oh, dear. You don't recognize me?

The scene now switches to the Alternate Universe from where Panda 2 was somehow taken and sent to our Panda's royal bedchambers to take her place. Our Panda finds herself suddenly in a bed that is unfamiliar to her. She looks around and finds herself in a tastefully decorated master bedroom. She hears the sound of a shower running in the adjacent bathroom. Then she hears the running water being shut off, followed by the sound of a man humming to himself as he gets out of the shower and drys himself off. Panda keeps her eyes on the doorway to see who emerges from the bathroom. She hears footsteps coming. Then she is shocked to see Patrick coming out of the bathroom, his hair still slightly damp from his shower. He smiles at her and tosses the wet towel into a nearby hamper. He is naked and comes over to her.

Panda is petrified and totally bewildered. It can't be Patrick, she thinks to herself, because I saw him die, saw him get eaten by that giant black adder! I must be having a nightmare or hallucinating!

PATRICK: Well, well. Is that a new black teddy you're wearing? Very nice. What's wrong? You look like you've just seen a ghost.

He joins her in bed and quickly gets on top of her. She is too terrified to move or say anything.

PATRICK: So good of you to make yourself presentable to me for a change. That ugly flannel nightgown/hair curlers/face cream get-up was a real turn-off. My, you do look good enough to ravage.

He proceeds to kiss and fondle her. Panda panics and tries to get away from him, but he interprets it as playfulness and chuckles as he pins down her arms and continues to kiss her, then licks her nipples. Panda struggles in vain to break free. She makes a wish to get out of this situation, but nothing happens. She is terrified. She glances over to the side where the nightstand is and sees a framed photograph of the two of them as bride and groom. No, it can't be! I can't be married to Patrick! This is insane!

PATRICK: What is this? Some new kind of game? Trying to see how long it'll take for me to pry apart your knees ?

PANDA: Patrick, no! Please stop! I can't do this!

PATRICK [sounding irritated]: What are you babbling about? And why are you so tense? Just lie back and perform your wifely duties. You might even find yourself enjoying it.

Patrick pushes his knee between her locked knees and forces her legs apart. There is no stopping him now. He pushes himself inside her, causing her to cry out in pain, both physically and emotionally. Panda tells herself it's only a nightmare and she'll wake up any second in her own bed with her beloved Edmund. She stares up at Patrick's face. His eyes are closed as he forcefully thrusts himself back and forth inside of her. He is only concerned with his own pleasure as he takes her. Panda can't wait for it to be over, but Patrick takes his time enjoying the pleasures of her body at the expense of her pain. Panda endures being groped and sexually abused by a man she thought would never be able to hurt her again. It's a horrifying nightmare, she tells herself again, it must be, but it feels so real and it hurts so much!

Finally he finishes, rolls over and falls asleep.

Panda is still in emotional shock and pain over what just happened. She pinches herself, hoping to wake up back at the castle, but finds herself still in the bedroom. Panda breaks down sobbing.

After a few minutes she pulls herself together and glares with complete loathing at the sleeping Patrick.

PANDA [thinking to herself]: No more. You’re not ever going to hurt me again, you bastard!

She looks around for a weapon. She opens the closet door and sees a bag of golf clubs. She pulls out a nine iron and smiles.

PANDA: Perfect.

Panda hits Patrick with the golf club. Once in the chest. Once in the groin area. Once in each leg. Once in the head. She ignores his screams, just as he had ignored her when she had told him no and to stop. Finally he stops screaming and just lies there motionless.

Scene: One week later Panda is wearing a strait jacket and is confined in a mental institution.

DR. LE FAY [who looks exactly like Morgan le Fay who died in Panda’s world]: Now, Panda, the sooner you are able to accept what really happened, the sooner you can get better and get out of here. Of course, you’ll have to face some serious charges. You came very close to killing your husband. He’s in critical condition with only a slim chance of pulling through.

PANDA: He’s NOT my husband! I would never marry that Patrick!

DR. LE FAY: Talk to me, Panda. Who are you and who is that man you attacked with that golf club?

PANDA: I’ve already told you over and over! Why do you keep asking me the same damn questions?!

DR. LE FAY: Panda, I need to know that you understand the difference between what is real and what is this fantastic imaginary world that you created in your head. The imaginary world that you insist you come from where you’re some sort of magical “Wishing” creature and that Patrick is a Wishing creature turned bad, and where there are demons who try to manipulate people into destroying each other so they can take over the world. And most importantly, I need you to understand that it’s impossible to wish someone out of a videotape so he could become your lover. And even if that was possible, of all people, why would you pick that slimy, pathetic Prince Edmund with the deformed haircut? Honestly, Panda. Are you trying to make everyone believe you’re insane to escape punishment for attacking Patrick and almost killing him?

PANDA: No! I’m NOT insane! I just don’t know where I am or how I got here! I just want to go home and be with my beloved Edmund! Oh, gawd, I miss him so much! [She breaks down sobbing.]

Scene: Back at the castle where Drekel and Panda 2 are facing each other.

DREKEL: You really don't recognize me? And none of these surroundings look familiar to you?

PANDA 2: No! Where am I? How did I get here?

DREKEL: Dear lady, if I knew, I'd tell you. Please believe me. I mean you no harm, so please carefully put down the vase. My name is Drekel. You bear a striking resemblance to Panda, sans the face goop, hair curlers and flannel nightgown. Are you Panda?

PANDA 2: Of course I am! But how do you know me?

DREKEL: This is going to take some work to sort out. Allow me to pull up a couple of chairs.

An hour later:

PANDA 2: That's quite an incredible story.

DREKEL: Almost as incredible as yours. So you're married to that prick Patrick?

PANDA 2: Watch who you're calling a prick!

DREKEL: Sorry, but the way you spoke of him led me to believe . . .

PANDA 2: It's one thing for ME to call him a prick, but quite another for someone else to call him one!

DREKEL: Right. Won't happen again.

Suddenly Edmund, Rowena and the wolf pup appear before them.

EDMUND: Drekel! I've come to take back my rightful place here in the castle as well as in my royal bed chambers to share with my beautiful Queen! [He then notices Panda 2.] AAAGGGHHH! Oh, my gawd! Panda! What's happened to you?!

PANDA 2: Oh, gawd, there are TWO of you? It's bad enough to see one short, funny-looking, big-nosed twerp with a dorky haircut, but TWO of you? Patrick may be a prick, but at least he's a handsome prick!

DREKEL and EDMUND [in unison]: HEY!

DREKEL: Well, at least OUR Panda doesn't go around wearing face goop, hair curlers and a ratty flannel night gown! You could take some beauty lessons from her!

EDMUND: Right! Huh? OUR Panda? Who's this?

DREKEL: Long story. I'll bring you up to speed very soon.

Scene: Back at the mental institution of the Alternate Universe. Dr. Le Fay is speaking with Dr. Melchett about Panda.

DR. LE FAY: I can’t make any progress with her. What do you think?

DR. MELCHETT: I fear she’s genuinely retreated into this imaginary world of hers. After all, she is a victim of spousal rape. If this wasn’t the first time her husband abused her, she may have snapped and found a way to escape from him, mentally and emotionally.

Meanwhile, back at the castle Drekel and Edmund are startled when Merlin suddenly appears before them.

MERLIN: Greetings. Yes, I know about the lightning bolt that put you back into your own individual bodies. Saw it in my crystal globe back in my workshop. Listen, there's not a moment to lose. If you both want to get your beloved Panda back here safely, we must move quickly. And by doing so, we'll able to return this other Panda to her own world.

DREKEL: Now there's good news. Who's behind all this? Is this some sorcery experiment of yours gone awry?

MERLIN: No, no. I swear it's not. This is Mordred's doing. He's sworn to get back at us for the death of his mother.

EDMUND: Who's Mordred?

MERLIN: The son of Morgan le Fay.

DREKEL and EDMUND [in unison]: Ooohhh.

MERLIN: He just paid me a visit at my workshop, and I barely escaped with my life. But he'll be on my trail and will show up here soon, I imagine. That's why we must move quickly. I'll need Percy and Baldrick. Where are they?

EDMUND: I'll get them. [He runs out of the room to get his friends.]

DREKEL: Are you going to let Percy and Baldrick meet you? Do you think it's wise?

MERLIN: We're going to have to if we want to stop Mordred. Trust me.

In a few minutes Edmund returns with Percy and Baldrick. Merlin uses a spell on Percy and Baldrick so they will accept Merlin's existence and "two Edmunds" without question.

MERLIN: Percy, Baldrick. When I created this new world for you all to live in, I made it exactly like your old one, down to the last detail. There's something very important I need you to retrieve so I can make this spell work. Here's the map and instructions. Take your fastest horses and return with the item I need. Hurry!

Percy and Baldrick read the map and instructions. They stare back at Merlin with a look of amazement.

BALDRICK: You mean it really exists?

MERLIN: Yes.

PERCY: Of course it exists! Come on, Baldrick. Hurry!

Percy and Baldrick rush out of the castle.

Edmund looks at Drekel.

EDMUND: Are you really going to break my neck for showing up back here at the castle?

DREKEL: Of course not. So you called my bluff. You've got balls, Edmund. Good for you.

Rowena and the other Panda enter the room. Rowena is carrying the wolf pup.

ROWENA: Daddy, when is my real mommy coming home?

DREKEL: We're working on that, sweethheart. We hope to fix things very soon, so that this lady and your mommy can switch places back to where they belong.

PANDA 2: Hey, take your time. I'm enjoying this vacation away from that husband who'd rather play golf all day than spend time with me.

MERLIN: I'll need a room to work on my potions.

DREKEL: The kitchen?

MERLIN: That'll do.

Meanwhile in the dimension between the two worlds, Mordred is observing Panda being held in the mental institution. She is unaware that Mordred is responsible for her predicament. He created the anomaly that caused the two Pandas to switch places. Panda's Wishling magic will not work in that Alternate Universe, and Mordred knew that.

MORDRED [thinking aloud]: Of course he violated you, you Wishling whore! That other Patrick would have done so, too, if he hadn't been killed and eaten by Drekel's giant black adder! So I thought it only fitting that the Patrick of this world be able to finish what the other one started. I've punished you, and by taking you away from those who love you, I've punished them. But it's not over yet. I'll be back after I've killed those others I hold responsible, then I'll kill you, too.

Scene: The mental institution. The two doctors are having a conversation.

DR. LE FAY: Did you hear about our patient's husband? He didn't make it. He died half an hour ago. So now she'll be charged with murder.

DR. MELCHETT: Should we tell her?

DR. LE FAY: I already did. She took it very calmly. Said it didn't matter because none of this is real. She said she's really back at home asleep and any minute now she'll wake up and find her beloved Edmund in bed with her.

DR. MELCHETT: That poor child.

DR. LE FAY: I think she's just pulling a big act to escape the murder charge. I think she meant to kill her husband.

DR. MELCHETT: I'll go look in on her.

DR. LE FAY: Go on. I have other patients to check.

Scene: Back at the castle. Outside the castle are the dead bodies of the two giant black adders. On the floor of the main hall are the dead bodies of Drekel and Edmund. Standing over the bodies of Drekel and Edmund is Mordred looking satisfied. He turns and sees Merlin at the doorway of the main hall.

MORDRED: You’re next, Merlin. After I kill you, then I'll kill Panda, and I will have avenged the death of my mother.

Merlin uses his sorcery to transport himself elsewhere. He vanishes.

MORDRED: You can run, but you can’t hide, Merlin! I’ll just go kill Panda now and come back for you later!

Mordred vanishes as he leaves the castle to go to the Alternate Universe where Panda is held against her will in the mental institution.

Dr. Melchett is looking in on Panda, as he is genuinely concerned about her. He is startled when Mordred suddenly appears out of nowhere in Panda’s room. Mordred kills Dr. Melchett. Panda screams. Mordred kills Panda.

While Mordred is in the Alternate Universe, Percy and Baldrick return to the castle with the item that Merlin had them retrieve.

MERLIN: Good work, men! Now we must move quickly if we are to make things right again.

Percy and Baldrick are shocked to see the dead bodies of Drekel and Edmund.

MERLIN: If all goes as planned, you’ll need not grieve for them.

Merlin takes the item that Percy and Baldrick brought back with them. They stare at it.

BALDRICK: Percy, it’s everything you said it was.

PERCY: Yes. It’s very blue indeed!

MERLIN: Well, the Stone of Galveston by itself is a very blue and beautiful stone, but used with my potions and this piece of equipment I built, it becomes the core of a very powerful tool. It’ll save us all by reversing time. I’ll set it so it’ll turn the clock back to before Mordred started setting things into motion to avenge his mother.

BALDRICK: But won’t history simply repeat itself?

MERLIN: No, because the three of us will remember what happened and can take steps to stop him. We’ll each drink this potion. Hurry, now.

They each drink the potion. Merlin activates the machine and turns back time.

Scene: The royal bed chambers where Panda and Drekel/Edmund have finished making love.

PANDA [smiling at Drekel/Edmund]: Oh, Edmund. I couldn't be happier. Your sweet face is what I want to see just before I fall asleep at night and the first thing I want to see when I awaken in the morning. I love you so much, my dearest.

DREKEL/EDMUND: And I love you, my darling Panda.

They drift off to sleep.

Later:

DREKEL/EDMUND: You want to call off our fishing trip? But you both seemed to be looking forward to it. You know, just us guys spending some quality time together.

PERCY: We were, we were, my lord. But we can do that sometime next week. The weather outside seems very threatening.

BALDRICK: Yes. Looks like a lightning storm could be coming very soon. Why don't you and the Queen spend some quality time together instead?

DREKEL/EDMUND: You sure you both don't mind?

PERCY and BALDRICK [in unison]: We don't mind.

DREKEL/EDMUND: Very well. We'll do this next week, then.

Drekel/Edmund leaves to go be with Panda. Percy and Baldrick breathe a sigh of relief and smile at each other.

Scene: The Alternate Universe where the Panda of that world is lying in bed. She is wearing her long plaid flannel nightgown, face cream and hair curlers while reading a paperback romance novel. Her husband Patrick comes out of the bathroom, fresh from his shower.

PATRICK [voice dripping with sarcasm]: Ah, there she is. A vision of beauty.

PANDA 2: Get stuffed, you prick.

Patrick sighs and puts on his pajamas to get ready for bed.

Scene: Back at the castle.

Merlin uses the power of the Stone of Galveston to create a powerful large shield between the Alternate Universe and their own world so that Mordred cannot cause the two Pandas to switch places. Then he warns Drekel's pair of giant black adders about Mordred, so they keep a careful watch for him. Sure enough, Mordred magically appears, but instead of catching the adders off guard and killing them like he did last time, the adders kill him. One quickly bites Mordred and injects him with poison. The other adder eats him.

Scene: The royal bed chambers. Panda is modeling the elegant black teddy for Drekel/Edmund. He embraces her and they make passionate love, each unaware of how Merlin, Percy and Baldrick saved them all with the famous Stone of Galveston, which is very blue indeed.

And they all lived happily ever after (except for Mordred). For real this time.

THE END

FINISHED MARCH 25, 2002



* * * * * Castle Photograph provided by the Angelfire Image Gallery. * * * * *

Based on characters created by Richard Curtis and Rowan Atkinson. Characters are used here without permission of their creators. This is strictly a personal work of fan fiction written for pleasure, not profit.

This page has no intention to infringe on the rights of the BBC, who are the intellectual property holders of 'Black Adder', & hold copyright over the episodes, characters, merchandise & storyline.

The characters of Panda the magical Wishling and Drekel the demon are the creations of Jean Akins.



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Animated Graphics provided by Animation Factory.

Image of the multicolored shield bar is provided by Medieval Clip Art.


All other images provided by The Print Shop.

Copyright 2002 Jean Heather Akins