DISCLAIMER: I don't own the rights to Blackadder. This is a piece of slash fan fiction for entertainment purposes. --- Jean Akins
Bob has just learned of the tragic news from Flash. Flash comforts Bob as they both grieve upon learning of the deaths of Edmund and the others found dead in the queen's court.
FLASH: Do you need some time alone?
BOB: Perhaps later, but for now please just hold me. I need to be with you. You knew Edmund. You were friends back in school. No one else here aboard this galleon knew him. Being with you in a way makes it seem like I'm with Edmund. Does that make any sense?
FLASH: Yes, it does. I'll be here for you for as long as you need me. Let's get you a drink of water before you get dehydrated. You've been crying pretty hard there.
BOB: All right.
They go down below to the galley.
Flash and Bob both drink some water.
FLASH: Feel a little better? Would you like to sit down?
BOB: Actually, I'd like to go lie down for a bit. Strange. Just a few minutes ago I was looking out at the ocean and thinking of what'd I'd like to do when we next dock, but now all I want to do is sleep for a very, very long time.
FLASH: I understand. When Cook has dinner ready I'll let you know.
BOB: Flash, would you please keep me company until I fall asleep?
FLASH: Yes, of course. Like I said, I'll be here for as long as you need me.
BOB: Thank you. I don't feel like being alone right now.
Bob's sleeping accomodations aboard Flash's galleon is a hammock in a large room below deck with all the other hammocks belonging to the other crew members. Flash offers the use of his own cabin so that Bob can rest in peace and quiet. It has a large comfortable bed, as Flash uses it quite often to entertain his female companions.
BOB: Are you sure it's all right? I could lie down in my own hammock.
FLASH: I insist. You won't be able to get any sleep with the crew down below talking loudly and playing cards. You need some quiet time.
BOB: Thank you, Flash.
Bob makes himself comfortable on the bed. Flash pulls up a chair and sits down.
FLASH: I'll stay here until you fall asleep, just as you asked.
Bob nods and smiles, his eyes halfway closed. He is very tired.
BOB: Tell me a story?
Flash smiles, strokes Bob's hair and gently kisses his forehead.
FLASH: All right. Once upon a time there was a young boy who was caught in a love triangle that involved an English lord and a lady. The poor lad was filled with angst and turmoil due to his strong emotions. Along came a tall, handsome, adventuring ship's captain who saw great potential in this boy. So the captain invited the boy to join him to start a new life where he would learn to sail, defend himself, fight with a sword and have many, many great adventures. Sure enough, the boy became a most able-bodied sailor who mastered the art of swordsmanship and could defend himself in most dangerous situations. The captain was proud of the boy, for he did indeed fulfill his potential and became a hero as he saved many a damsel in distress. The end.
BOB: Hmmm. Good story. But there's more to it.
FLASH: Oh?
BOB: Yes. When the boy embarked on his new life with the ship's captain, he decided he'd never allow himself to be hurt by love again. So he threw himself completely in learning the ways of sailing and self-defense and swordplay. As the years passed, it was all he knew. He never allowed himself to have a new love companion. Then one day when he learned that the English lord he loved years ago had recently been murdered, his heart felt like it was being torn right out of his chest. The boy wanted to sleep and never wake up ever again. The end.
Flash stares at Bob for a moment, then speaks.
FLASH: Bob, I know it sounds cliche, but time does heal all wounds. Promise me you won't do anything drastic. You're still young and there's so much that life has in store for you.
BOB: All right. I'm going to sleep now. Stay a while longer, please?
FLASH: Of course. Anything you like.
Flash watches Bob drift off to sleep. He thinks about what the boy had revealed to him about not having taken any lovers since breaking up with Edmund.
FLASH (thinking to himself): I had no idea! How could Bob go for several years without any physical companionship? All this time while I've been bedding one woman after another, poor Bob has been denying himself any intimate relationships. I know I couldn't do it. How on earth did he manage all these years? I just assumed he met someone during those times we'd dock and he'd put on that blue dress and head into town. He always returned to the ship all touseled and sweaty, as if he'd had a rousing session of rumpy-pumpy. So he was rescuing damsels in distress, but nothing more. Poor Bob.
Flash looks at Bob sleeping. He thinks back of the time when he mistakenly thought Bob was a girl. He still remembers how it felt when he forced himself on Bob in the hotel suite and kissed him passionately, probing his tongue inside the boy's mouth. It felt good back then, even after he realized Bob was really a boy. But he never told Bob later that he had enjoyed kissing him. After all, he was Flashheart and had a reputation as a womanizer.
FLASH (thinking to himself): He looks so cute when he's asleep.
Flash imagines what it would feel like to lie naked with Bob, their bodies nestled together, stroking the boy and comforting him during his time of need. Flash could feel himself getting very excited and erect.
FLASH (thinking to himself): I want to, but he's so vulnerable right now in his emotional state. What if I do it and he despises me for it afterward, saying I took advantage of his emotional weakness? I don't want to risk him leaving the ship and never being able to see him again.
Flash thinks back to the last time he had knowledge of how strongly the break-up with Edmund affected Bob. It was about a year ago the when his galleon had docked. Bob had returned from town in his usual touseled and sweaty form after having spent a night in town rescuing damsels in distress. Flash remembers the conversation they had upon Bob's return:
FLASH: Bob, is there something you'd like to tell me about what happened tonight?
BOB: No. Why do you ask?
FLASH: Are you sure? Nothing out of the ordinary happened?
BOB: What if it did? I can take care of myself. I'm back, aren't I? No stab wounds, no broken bones. I'm fine.
FLASH: My sources told me that a pair of hoodlums were beaten nearly to death earlier tonight. These men were about to attack a woman when suddenly they were stopped and given an unusually powerful beating by a mysterious person wearing a blue dress. Bob, you and I both know it was you in that blue dress.
BOB: What's your point?
FLASH: You don't usually beat thugs within an inch of their lives. You teach them a lesson and give them a good ass-kicking, but that's all. What happened tonight that caused you to nearly kill this pair of hoodlums? It must have been something special to cause you to open the super extra mega-large can of whoop-ass.
BOB: You had to be there.
FLASH: Well, seeing as how I wasn't there, please do enlighten me. I insist.
BOB: It was her. Lady Jane. The woman who Edmund chose over me. Because of her I gave up Edmund and left him forever to live my new life here with you. She was about to be attacked by those men.
FLASH: So you gave them an extra hard beating? I'm a bit confused.
BOB: I could feel the pain of the memory of my having to give up Edmund about to overwhelm me, and I became angry and frustrated. So I channeled my emotions into the pummeling I gave to those hoodlums.
FLASH: They picked the wrong night to cross your path, I see.
BOB: Lady Jane didn't see my face, so I doubt she recognized me. But I could see her because she was under the street lamp. I stayed in the shadows so she couldn't see me. She was about to come closer and thank me, and that's when I turned and fled. I didn't want her to know it was me. She might tell Edmund, and I don't want him knowing I'm back in town.
FLASH: Why not? Would it be too painful for you to say hello to him?
BOB: Maybe. I just want to keep that part of my life in the past and not bring it up again. I don't want to ever see him again or hear his voice.
FLASH: Or feel him put his hand on your shoulder in friendship? Or feel his body close to yours like that one time years ago when you made love to him for the very first and last time?
BOB: Stop! Don't say anymore! (covers his ears)
FLASH: I'm sorry, Bob. I won't talk about him anymore. I should have been more sensitive about your feelings.
Flash remembers that it was at that point when Bob cried. It was then Flash realized how much Edmund meant to Bob for it to still affect him even after years had passed since the break-up.
Flash now looks at Bob sleeping. His tear-streaked face twitched slightly. Was the boy having a disturbing dream? Flash can hear Bob mumbling something.
BOB (mumbling softly): Edmund, how could you? You said you loved me.
FLASH (thinking to himself): He's talking in his sleep. Poor lad.
An hour goes by as Flash stays in the room to keep watch over Bob. He gets up to pace now and then. He steps out once to instruct Cook to bring dinner for two to his cabin when it's time to eat.
SCENE: Flash's cabin. Bob awakens shortly after Cook delivers two trays of dinner.
FLASH: Thought you might like to eat. Are you hungry?
BOB: Yes, I am. Thank you.
Bob gets out of bed. They sit at the small table to have dinner.
FLASH: Have I ever told you how much you mean to me, Bob? That day when I invited you to come join me for a new life at sea aboard my galleon, I had no idea how much I'd grow to love you. If Edmund could see how well you've turned out, he'd be very proud of you, as I am.
Bob is quiet for a few minutes, then he speaks.
BOB: You love me?
FLASH: Yes. Very much. I can't imagine my life here without you. Don't want to, actually. I'm hoping you'll stay indefinitely. You're such a joy and a delight to have on board. I've never told you all this before, but I want you to know.
BOB: You're not saying that just to cheer me up?
FLASH: I'm not just saying that. Sorry it took a piece of tragic news to get me to tell you how I feel. But I don't want another day to go by without you knowing how much I care about you.
BOB: Thank you, Flash. I care about you, too. Over the years I've grown to love you.
Flash smiles upon hearing Bob say this.
BOB: But just so there's no confusion and to save us any embarrassment, let me say this. I'm not going to bed with you, Flash. I know how you are with the ladies. I don't begrudge you for it. It's just the way you are. I don't expect you to change. After breaking up with Edmund I promised myself I'd never let myself get hurt like that again by anyone. I won't make love to you only to watch you turn around later and shag your current woman of the hour. It's just the way I am. I'm willing to share a lot of things, like my books, my food and drink, the clothes off my back. Well, except for my blue dress. But when it comes to a lover, I draw the line at sharing. I'd want an exclusive relationship. Edmund couldn't give me that. And I doubt you can, either. So we can be friends who love and care about each other, but nothing more. I can't allow myself to get hurt again.
Flash smiles and nods.
FLASH: I understand. After all you've been through, how could I not? I'll respect your wishes. Well, let's not let this delicious dinner go to waste. Cook went to a lot of trouble to prepare it for us and bring it down to my cabin.
BOB (raising his goblet of wine): A toast to our friendship.
FLASH (raising his goblet of wine): Yes. May it last forever.
Four months later:
FLASH: Bob, something was just delivered to me which you need to see. Let's go into my cabin.
Bob follows Flash.
SCENE: Flash's cabin. Flash shows him a document.
FLASH: You'd better sit down before you start reading it.
Bob sits on the chair. Flash watches Bob read the document. A few minutes later Bob looks up at Flash. His eyes moisten with tears.
BOB: He knew? I thought I was being so careful to not let him know.
FLASH: I was just as surprised as you were when I read this.
Camera pans to the document. Scene fades and we hear the voice of Edmund Blackadder reading aloud the document:
BLACKADDER: My dear Flash. By the time you read this, I'll be dead. Bugger! Anyway, I have a great favour to ask of you. You are my only connection with Bob. If you still have means of contact with the dear boy, please give him this message. I'd be most grateful to you. -- My dear Bob. You certainly are full of surprises. When you walked out the door with Flash I thought I'd never see you again. But I did see you one night a few years later. I was having a slice of pie and a cup of tea in Mrs. Miggins's Pie Shop. Lady Jane was going to meet me there. Suddenly I heard this very loud commotion in the alley outside. I thought it was just Mrs. Miggins taking out the trash. But Mrs. Miggins was in the kitchen, and she ran over to the window that faces the alley. She told everyone in the shop there was a fight taking place outside. We ran over to the windows to see. I could see Lady Jane under the street lamp. She was apparently fine, but two men were getting the beating of their lives. Although I could barely make out the dark silhouette of the person who was thrashing them, somehow I knew it was you. It had to be. I ran to the door that leads to the alley. But by the time I opened it and stepped out, you had turned and fled. I could see the back of you running away. But I know I saw a blue dress. I remember hearing Flash say he'd teach you how to defend yourself. Knowing what a mighty adventurer Flash is, I figured it must have been you in that alley. Am I right? I asked Lady Jane, and she said she never got a good look at her rescuer. I never told her I believed it was you. If I'm right, then just know that I am so very proud of you. Much as I would have liked you to stay with me, I think you made the right choice in going with Flash. I'll never forget you, Bob. And I never stopped loving you. Sincerely, Edmund.
Bob sets the document on the table and leans back in the chair. He closes his eyes and sobs. Flash gets up and goes over to Bob.
FLASH: Can I get you anything? Anything at all?
BOB: Flash, I'm in great need of solace. And I'd like that solace to come from you. Do you understand what I'm saying?
FLASH: I think I do.
Bob gets up and locks the door. He turns to Flash.
BOB: This doesn't change how I feel about what I told you a few months ago. For now I just need to feel your love for me. Is that all right with you?
FLASH: Yes, of course.
Flash holds Bob close to him, strokes his hair and gently kisses away the tears from the boy's face.
BOB: I love you, Flash.
FLASH: And I love you, Bob.
Scene fades.
THE END
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