SUPER-VANDALS ON PARADISE ISLAND
(or The Case of the Missing Amazons)
A tale of the Legion of Super-Vandals
The characters and representations of Superboy, the Legion of Super-Heroes and its members (however disguised), Master Mxyzptlk, Wonder Girl, Paradise Island and its inhabitants, and the varieties of kryptonite are trademarked and copyrighted by DC Comics. No infringement of those rights is intended.
This story is set in a parallel universe (Earth-whatever), where Superbody did not join the Legion of Super-Heroes. Instead, Lex Luthor founded a club made up of students at Smallville High with powers of their own. These students are:
Clark Kent: the Invisible Kid
Gary Craine: Ultra Boy
Marie Elkins: Duo Damsel
Phyllis Groves: Phantom Girl
Sharon Vaughn: Shrinking Violet
and now, the story:
Chapter 1. The Vandals Reform
Clark Kent hurried to his locker, dodging the crowds of students leaving Smallville High for the week-end. He opened it to stow his books, and found a sheet of paper that had been stuffed through the vents in the door. Opening it, he read:
Clark: meet at the old Vandals Headquarters at 5:00. Marie
He looked at the note, puzzled, then turned his telescopic / x-ray vision toward the old warehouse where, for a short time, he had been a member of the Legion of Super-Vandals, along with four of his high school friends and Lex Luthor. But Luthor's plan to humiliate the town and Superboy had been thwarted by the teen-agers, along with Clark in his other identity of Superboy. The warehouse was empty, as before. Quickly he took the books he would need and hurried home. There he switched to his heroic identity of Superboy and went on patrol. Smallville was quiet, with only a cat in a tree to rescue and a small brush fire that was about to grow out of control until the boy of steel extinguished it. At 4:45 he flew toward home, and saw Gary Crane and Phyllis Grove heading toward the warehouse. Evidently they had received invitations, too. Once inside the Kent house, Superboy changed to Clark, and then to his third secret identity, the Invisible Kid, by putting on the Invisibility Belt Luthor had provided him. The belt was charged by Pink Kryptonite, which also changed his sexual alignment.
When Clark entered the old warehouse and climbed the stairs to the second-floor office, he was in for a surprise. It looked very different than it had when he looked after school. Now the table from a dinette set, with six chairs, graced the central room. Marie Elkins and Sharon Vaughn were there already, along with Gary and Phyllis. "Clark, I'm so glad you could make it," Marie said. "I have some fabulous news!" She motioned for Clark to sit down, and he noticed that there were place cards on the table. He sat down in the chair reserved for the Invisible Kid. Marie took the chair at the head of the table, marked with the placard "Duo Damsel."
"Here's my news," she gasped. "Millionaire R. J. Brande has bought the warehouse to hold his collection of antique cars. But he was so impressed by the work we did when we exposed Luthor's plan to embarrass Smallville, that he has offered to let us continue using this office space as the club-house for the Legion of Super-Vandals!"
"But we can't be Super-Vandals any more," Clark said. "We only pretended to be vandals to trick Lex into revealing his plot!"
"And I'm almost out of Ultra-Pills," Gary said. "I only have four left. And I don't think Lex is going to make any more for me."
"Let's worry about that later," Marie said. "For now, it's just a club. And it has a cool meeting room, plus a trophy room over there," she pointed to the door on the left, "and a lounge or 'ready room' over there," she pointed to the right.
"There's a stove and refrigerator in the lounge," Sharon added, "plus bathroom facilities."
"It sounds great," Gary said. "Unfortunately, we can't commit vandalism, or even fight crime, without super-powers."
"Sure we can," Marie said. "Look at Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys. Anyway, Phyllis still has phantom powers, and Sharon can still shrink, and Clark has his invisibility belt, and I can split into two girls. And we'll think of something for Ultra Boy to do. Trust me, it'll be great!"
Chapter 2: A New Member
While they were talking, Clark looked into the trophy room with his x-ray vision. The only furniture in the room was a long table, and on it were two laminated headlines and a lead-lined box. Clark recognized it as the box which had contained a bomb intended to destroy the power plant; he supposed that Marie had acquired it from her uncle, Police Chief Parker, and hoped that they had removed the bomb before displaying it. Along one wall were six photographs, one of each of the members of the Legion of Super-Vandals, including Lex Luthor. Marie, he knew, was an amateur photographer, and she had taken the photographs and framed them. On another wall was a sign saying "Rogues' Gallery", with the same picture of Lex Luthor. He turned his attention back to the girl.
"Now," she said, "we have to decide what to do about Superboy."
"Destroy him!" Gary shouted, slamming his fist down on the table. The other four Vandals stared at him. "Oh," he said apologetically, "did I say that out loud. I meant, 'honor him.'"
"Thank you," Marie said. "We are all enlightened and refreshed by your unique point of view. What I meant was, do we want to invite him to be a member of the Vandals?"
"Sure, why not?" Sharon asked.
"Because he's too powerful," Gary said. "None of us have a power that can come anywhere matching his. If he's a member, he'll get all the glory, and we'll just be in his shadow. I'd rather fight crime and solve mysteries on my own." Clark was dubious, too. How could both of his identities attend club meetings? He decided it was a bad idea, and that he would refuse it if offered.
"He might not want to join a club that was created to humiliate his home town," Sharon said diffidently.
"That is SO Sharon," Marie said. "Who WOULDN'T be glad to join such an exciting club?"
"Well, if Superboy is in, I'm out," Gary said firmly. "I don't mind competition, but I'd like a CHANCE to win."
"This isn't a competition," Marie said.
"Vote," said Phyllis. "How many want to invite Superboy to join the club? Show of hands."
Marie thrust her hand up, and Sharon hesitantly added her vote. "How many opposed?" Phyllis demanded. She put up her hand, Gary put up his, and Clark added his vote. After a moment, Sharon raised her hand too.
"You don't get two votes, Sharon," Marie said sternly. "Are you in favor, or against."
"Both," the small girl replied. After a moment's hesitation, she added, "Maybe we could make him an HONORARY member."
"Great idea," said Marie. "All in favor?" This time it was unanimous, and Superboy became the first honorary member of the Legion of Super-Vandals. But not the last, as you will soon see.
Chapter 3. A Mysterious Intruder
"Okay," Marie said. "The next order of business really should have been the first. We need some structure and organization. We need a chairman, and a secretary, and a sergeant at arms." Gary made snoring noises. "And a treasurer." Gary sat up, suddenly interested.
"A treasurer? Are we going to get money? Like, rewards?"
"No," Marie said sternly. "Any rewards we receive we'll give to charity." Gary made snoring noises again.
At that moment there was an interruption. A girl appeared at the end of the table, behind Clark. As the other members gasped and stared, he turned in his chair to see the intruder. She was simply dressed in a short red tunic with a yellow eagle embroidered on it, a blue skirt covered with stars, and red sandals. She wore her long black hair in a pony-tail. "Please help me," said the apparition. "I am Princess Diana, of Paradise Island, home of the Amazons. We are disturbed by the mysterious disappearance of three of the Amazons. We have no clues, but when we approached the Oracle, she said that girls from the outer world, with strange powers, would be able to solve the mystery. We scanned the world with our time and space televisor screen, until we found your club. Please, Marie, Sharon and Phyllis, come to Paradise Island and help us."
"Wow," said Phyllis. "I'd love to help, but how would we get to Paradise Island? Where is it?"
"Its location is a secret," Princess Diana replied. "But I can lead you to it."
Clark suddenly swept his hand through the area where the princess stood. It passed through the girl, distorting her image. "You're not really here," he proclaimed.
"No, this is a projected image," she said. "Aphrodite's law forbids us to leave the island. And it also forbids men from landing on the island, which is why only the three girls are invited."
"I've got an idea," said Marie suddenly. "Superboy! He can take us to the island, and we can swim or wade ashore."
"Superboy," Gary scoffed, but the others thought it was a good idea. "I'll go to my uncle's office," Marie said. "He's Police Chief Parker, and he has a way to contact Superboy. I'll explain what we need, and I'm sure he'll be able to help."
"Sounds like a good idea," Clark said. "But I think I'll go home. You won't need me."
Secretly he was excited about taking the girls on an adventure to Paradise Island, even if he couldn't land there himself. And since Clark wasn't going, he wouldn't need to worry about his secret identity.
"Not me," Gary said. "Even if I have to hang around off-shore, I can still keep an eye on things with my penetra-vision, and maybe lend some help by remote control."
"Superboy can, too," Marie said.
"Oh, in that case, never mind," Gary said. "Clark, I'm with you."
"Please, Gary, do come," Sharon pleaded. "You're one of us. We really want your help. You too, Clark."
Gary was mollified, but Clark stuck to his original plan. "Have a great adventure," he said, as he left the club-house. He planned to go home and change to Superboy and wait for Police Chief Parker's summons.
Chapter 4. An Impostor
Events occurred as planned; the signal came in from Chief Parker, and Superboy flew to the police station, where Marie outlined the things the Amazon princess had told her. Superboy agreed to fly them to the island, and had a suggestion of how Gary could monitor the adventure. Then he flew with Marie to a nearby lake, where a friend kept a cabin cruiser. The man was happy to loan the boat to Superboy for the week-end, and with Marie in the cabin Superboy lifted the entire boat and flew it into downtown Smallville. Together he and Marie walked into the headquarters, and Superboy grinned and said, "Your transportation awaits."
The grin froze on his face as he saw who was in the room: Sharon Vaughn, Gary Crane, Phyllis Groves – and Clark Kent! "What are you doing here?" he demanded.
"I changed my mind," said the youth who was a duplicate of Superboy's secret identity. "I decided this was too great an adventure to miss, even if I can't land on the island." With his x-ray vision Superboy examined the young man wearing a duplicate of the Invisibility Belt, but everything indicated that it was Clark Kent – but a 'normal' Clark Kent, not someone of Kryptonian origin with amazing powers.
"Look," Marie exclaimed, missing the by-play between Superboy and his double. "Superboy brought us a boat. We can all ride in it to Paradise Island, and Gary, Clark and Superboy can wait in it while we girls solve the mystery." The other Vandals raced to the window, looked at the pleasure vessel, and cheered.
"This is going to be a great week-end," the faux-Clark said happily.
"I'm glad you think so," Superboy said between gritted teeth. "I'm sure we'll have a chance to really get to know one another."
Clark looked at Superboy and grinned suggestively. "I'd LOVE to get closer to you, Superboy." And Superboy discovered that he was blushing.
Quickly the five Vandals ran downstairs and climbed aboard the boat. Then Superboy lifted it and carried it on his back as the image of the Amazon princess floated ahead of him to lead the way. She did not assume a flying position; instead she appeared to be standing in mid-air and traveling at the same super-speed as Superboy as they raced through the air. They traveled across the eastern United States and over the Atlantic Ocean, bearing slightly south. Superboy found himself strangely disoriented, unsure of exactly where they were in relation to the world. Then they passed through a cloud, and below them he saw a cluster of islands. "The large island in the center is Paradise Island," Princess Diana's image told him. "We use the other islands for other purposes, such as Transformation Island, where we send criminals for rehabilitation. But only Paradise Island is bound by Aphrodite's Law. You can land near that little island, and then I can take the girls to shore. I'll be with you in a minute." And the image disappeared.
Superboy brought the boat down into the water, and then joined his friends on the deck. All were very excited. "Do you know where we are?" Marie asked.
"No, I don't," Superboy said. "Something - probably magic - has me completely lost. I'll never find this place on my own."
Gary was staring toward the island, using his penetra-vision. "Wow," he said, "all the women here are beauties – and stacked!" Phyllis slapped him on the back of the head. "Hey, quit it," he cried. "I'm not invulnerable when I'm using my vision powers!"
I know," Phyllis growled.
Chapter 5: Change is Good
A few minutes later, Superboy said, "I see a female form taking off from the island. It looks like she's riding the wind currents to get to us. Are you girls ready to go?" The girls nodded agreement, and Marie walked up to Superboy and touched his shoulder.
"I wish there was some way you could go with us," she said.
"Granted," replied a squeaky little voice from somewhere overhead, a voice unknown to the others but hideously familiar to Superboy.
"YOU!" he exclaimed as the familiar form of Master Mxyzptlk appeared. (Note: Mxyzptlk is pronounced mix-yez-pit-el-ek, in case you're reading this story aloud.) He glared at the faux-Clark and said to the imp, "I'll bet you're responsible for…"
"Yeppers," interrupted the imp. "I thought it might be amusing, but I've got an even funnier idea now." Superboy growled, but Marie looked puzzled.
"Superboy, would you like to introduce us to your friend."
"He's no friend of mine," sneered the boy of steel. "He's Master Mxyzptlk, an imp from the fifth dimension with amazing magical powers. He enjoys coming to this dimension and using his magical tricks to make my life miserable. Fortunately, when he returns to his home dimension, his magic dissipates and no one but me remembers it."
"How awful," said Marie. "But Mr. Mix-e-pul-tek, how can you help the boys share in the adventure?"
"No!" shouted Superboy, but he was too late.
"Like this," Mxyzptlk replied, waving his hands toward Superboy, Gary, and faux-Clark. Immediately the three boys gasped as they felt their genitals shrinking while their chests grew larger. In seconds three odd-looking girls had replaced the boys. Smiling at Sharon, Marie and Phyllis, he said, "Ladies, may I introduce Superbabe, Ultra Chick, and Miss Invisible."
"I don't like this," faux-Clark whined. "I LIKE being a guy."
"Shut up," the imp told her. "Oh, and one thing you'd better know, if I say my name backward, I will be banished to the fifth dimension for at least 90 days. And Superbabe here will be trying to trick me. But if I say my name backwards while you're on Paradise Island, my magic will disappear, the new girls will become guys again, and you will be in violation of Aphrodite's Law! So watch him."
"Okay," said faux-Clark. "But how will we know? What does your name backward sound like?"
"Klip-" the imp began, but Marie, Phyllis and Sharon all shouted, "NO!", interrupting him. "Oh, I see," he said. "Apparently Superboy isn't the only tricky one. Well, you girls – you real girls – will just have to be on the alert. And here's your Amazon princess, now." The girls (all six of them), turned to greet Princess Diana, who was drifting on air currents down to the boat. She was amazed to find that the three boys were now female, but she told them that Aphrodite's Law would be satisfied. But Master Mxyzptlk, still being male, would have to stay on the boat.
"No, no, my Amazon sweetheart," he told her. "If you notice, I'm lighter than air. I don't land, I don't stand, I don't walk. I float. So I won't be putting one foot on Paradise Island."
"Okay," she chuckled. "I guess that's okay, too. But don't forget!"
"And don't think it would be funny, either," Superbabe warned him.
Chapter 6. The Mystery of the Missing Amazons
With that, the teen-aged Amazon picked up Miss Invisible and leaped over the side. Clark, being true to character as a timid soul, squealed. Ultra Chick picked up Phyllis and followed. Superbabe took Marie in her arms, and said to Sharon, "If you shrink down, you can ride along."
"Not a problem," Sharon replied. She shrank to only half her normal height, then jumped into the air – where she was caught by Master Mxyzptlk. He sailed off after the others, and Superbabe followed, seething. Landing on the island, they were greeted by a regal, dark-haired woman.
"This is Antiope," Diana introduced her. "She is ruling the island while my mother is missing." (Antiope is pronounced with four syllables: ann-TEE-oh-pee.)
Antiope smiled at them. "And I hope our queen comes back to us soon," she said. "Until then, I am instituting a few changes that I know she will approve when she returns. But our Wonder Girl told me only three girls were coming. I see six, plus a mysterious floating male."
"Wonder Girl?" Ultra Chick asked. Diana blushed.
"They call me that because I'm the first child on the island in 3000 years. And I was blessed by Aphrodite, Athena, Mercury and Hercules with amazing powers. But I prefer being called Diana."
"Okay, let's get down to business," Marie said. "Tell us about the missing Amazons." Antiope motioned to some nearby benches, where she took a seat on the central one.
"Almost a month ago the first disappearance occurred. Helena was - is - a very talented sculptor; you can see some of her work in the temple of Athena. She did not show up at her work station, and missed the midday meal, and then her lover Thora reported that she could not be found. We scoured the island, but found no trace of her."
"A week later Paula, our chief scientist, simply disappeared from her laboratory at the science department. Her chief assistant, Tonia, reported that she had been busy working one minute, but mere seconds later was gone."
"Our queen, the lovely Hippolyta, really threw herself into the search for Paula and Helena. She questioned every woman on the island in great detail. I feel she may have made a discovery, or the culprit thought she had, for she disappeared from her bedchamber a week ago, and we haven't seen her since. Diana convinced us to consult the Oracle, who told us that you would help us. That is all I know." (By the way, Hippolyta can be pronounced HIP-oh-lie-tah or hih-POL-it-ah, your choice. I like the latter.)
The princess agreed. "Mother was baffled. I helped her with some interviews, but never got a clue. They just disappeared. But the night Mother disappeared, she said she had found something funny, and that in the morning she would requestion one of the women. I don't know who, or why."
"Not to worry," said Marie. "That's our job."
"Worrying?" asked Sharon, and got a sharp look.
Chapter 7: Frolicking in the bedroom
"But come," said Antiope. "You are tired from your long trip, and sunset is upon us. I will have bread and fruit sent to the princess' suite, where you can spend the night. Extra pillows, too."
"Terrific," enthused Marie. "We can have a pajama party!"
"Yes!" gasped Gary. "My greatest fantasy coming true! There's only one thing that would make it better."
"What is a pajama?" asked Diana.
And Gary looked upward, stretched her arms to the sky, and shouted, "Thank you!"
But Gary was doomed to disappointment. Although Wonder Girl was not familiar with bifurcated sleepwear, she wore a loose, simple tunic for sleeping. "What will the rest of us wear? We didn't take time to pack," Marie asked.
"I'll take care of that," said Master Mxyzptlk. He waved his hand, and the six girls from Smallville were dressed in very fashionable sleepwear. Superbabe's nightie even had her insignia on the shoulder. But of course Sharon immediate quibbled.
"I can't wear this," she said, displaying her nearly transparent teddy. "It's not decent. Could I please have something longer, and less see-through."
Mxyzptlk sighed, but waved his hand again, and Sharon was wearing a long, peach-colored nightgown in satin. Its shining folds clung to her body, and the neckline was quite low and revealing, but Sharon seemed satisfied. "Oh, I wish I had a mirror," she said, admiring the shimmering gown. And before Diana could pull out her own mirror, Mxyzptlk waved again, and a full-length mirror appeared. Sharon stepped in front of it and held the skirt out to admire it, but Phyllis shoved her out of the way, and was immediately replaced by faux-Clark. Phyllis shoved her, too, but then Gary wanted a turn. Peace was restored when Mxyzptlk created four more mirrors.
All the girls except Superbabe spent several minutes posing in front of the mirrors, and Gary caused great amusement as she admired the large bosom and trim legs revealed by the two-piece baby doll outfit she was wearing. Holding her hands under her breasts to better display them, she enthused, "What a rack!"
The girls talked long into the night, but finally sleep began to take its hold. Sharon was the first to doze off, nestled in a pile of pillows. Miss Invisible went next, and Gary and Phyllis snuggled together. But Phyllis pulled away. "I like it better when your chest is flat," she told the magically-transformed girl. Eventually Marie and Diana fell asleep too, but Superbabe spent the night on watchful guard. Master Mxyzptlk watched her with amusement, but finally fell asleep himself, drifting on an invisible bed in mid-air.
Chapter 8: A Shocking Revelation
The next morning the girls woke refreshed, and followed Princess Diana to the dining hall, where they enjoyed an Amazon breakfast. Discussing the problem facing them, they decided that their next stop should be at Helena's apartment.
As Diana led them across the beautiful campus, they came to a large marble pool in which several of the Amazons were frolicking naked. Superbabe, Miss Invisible and Sharon averted their eyes, but Gary quite frankly ogled, twisting her neck as they passed to take in the full spectacle. Phyllis swatted her on the butt. "Pull your eyes back into your head, pervert," she warned.
Gary came to a dead stop in the middle of the path. "Oh, my god!" she exclaimed. "I've just realized something incredible!" The others gathered round, thinking Gary might have picked up a clue to the mystery.
"What is it?" Marie demanded.
Gary took a deep breath and said, "I'm a Lesbian!"
Phyllis snickered, Marie winced, and Sharon blushed and hurried off. Phyllis put her hand in the middle of Gary's back and pushed her in the direction of Helena's dormitory. "Move it, dyke," she said, grinning. "We've got a mystery to solve."
Diana looked at them, puzzled. "I know what a Lesbian is," she said. "There are several of them on the island."
"I'll bet there are," Phyllis replied.
"The island of Lesbos was where many of the Amazons originated," the princess went on. Marie grabbed her arm.
"There's no time to explain," she said. "Let's keep moving, okay. It's best not to follow where Gary leads."
The little group hurried on, until they came to one of the beautiful pillared buildings where the Amazons lived. Diana led them inside, and down a long hallway lined with curtained doors. She paused at one door and said, "Thora?"
A voice inside replied, "Enter."
They pushed their way through the curtain to find a beautiful woman combing her hair. "This is Thora, Helena's room-mate," Diana introduced the woman. "These are the detectives from man's world. This is Marie, Sharon, Gary, Clark, Phyllis, and … I'm sorry, what is your name?"
Superbabe grimaced. "Just call me Superbabe for now," she said.
"And I'm Master Mxyzptlk," said the imp, floating along overhead. Thora gaped at the unexpected spectacle of a flying man on Paradise Island.
"I hope you don't mind," Diana said, "but they're here to investigate Helena's disappearance, and wanted to search her room for clues."
"No, no, please do," Thora exclaimed. "Anything to bring Helena back to me!"
Chapter 9. Investigations
The room that Helena and Thora had shared was long and spacious, with two large windows at the far end. The curtain that concealed the door was strung across the near wall, with closets on both sides for their garments. A shelf stretched across each of the long sides of the room, one obviously Thora's and the other Helena's. Thora's side was very neat, with books and papers carefully stacked, a model of a Grecian-style building in a glass box, writing utensils carefully arranged in a desk organizer, and a poster on the wall that seemed to indicate the relationships or reactions of certain elements. "Thora is a scientist, working in our science center," Diana explained.
"Where Paula disappeared?" asked Marie.
"Yes, but in a different section. Of course, she does report to Paula as our head scientist." Helena's side of the room was a strong contrast. Clay statues, broken plaster body parts, unfinished masks, and tools for working in clay lay scattered on the shelf. There was also a vase with peacock feathers, and a hanging pot with a fern flowing out of it.
"You told us Helena was a sculptor," Marie said. "I see she does very fine work."
"Yes," Thora agreed. "Her best piece is the statue of a worshipper in the temple of Athena."
Marie went through the garments hanging in Helena's closet, which were much the same, loose flowing tunics in various colors. Gary got down on the floor and looked under the large bed that took up the center of the room. The others roamed around the room, occasionally touching or picking up some item. Superbabe picked up a statuette of a regal woman. "Is this a model of Queen Hippolyta?" he asked.
"Yes," Diana said. "That's Mother. It's a work in progress; the actual statue will be in marble. It's in Helena's workroom in another building." She stifled a sob. "Oh, I hope Helena can come back and finish it. And Mother!"
Phyllis went to her and hugged her for comfort. And as Thora's eyes began filling with tears, Gary went to her side and embraced her. "Don't worry," she said. "We'll find them. Superbabe and I have amazing vision powers; we'll find them no matter where they're hiding."
Thora threw her arms around Ultra Chick and began weeping. "Oh, please," she murmured. "Please find them." Gary was inexperienced at comforting crying women, but she did the best she could, and it seemed to help. With a sigh Thora pushed away. "Thank you," she said. "I'm better now." Touching Gary's face, the Amazon said, "You look very like her. The strong chin, the deep hazel eyes."
"And we're moving along," Marie said. "We have a lot of ground to cover. I don't think we're going to find anything here. Let's go on to the Science Center."
"I'll go with you," Thora said. "It's almost time for my shift. And we can go by the temple of Athena and see the worshipping statue. It's Helena's masterwork." Under Marie's guidance, the little group formed up and started out across the campus.
Chapter 10. The Adoring One
Only a slight detour took the girls to the temple of Athena. There they were met by the Oracle, Cassandra, who was very happy to meet the ones she had predicted would solve the mystery. The fact that three of the girls were previously boys seemed to confirm her prediction. "Athena's wisdom and power cannot be disputed," she smiled.
"Actually, I did it," boasted Master Mxyzptlk.
"It is not for us to question the tools wise Athena uses," Cassandra replied, to the imp's discomfiture.
"I thought Cassandra could only predict bad things," said Sharon.
Cassandra laughed. "That was true of the Trojan Cassandra, for whom I am named. But my gift comes from Athena, not treacherous Apollo."
"This is Helena's statue, that I was telling you about," said Thora. She was pointing to a statue, larger than life size, of a nude woman, kneeling, with arms raised and outstretched in worship. The look on her face was one of adoration. It was a marvelous statue, and the girls all admired it. But Gary was obviously moved more than the rest.
"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," she whispered. "The look on her face – the curves of her body – it all comes together to show that she's worshipping with every fiber of her being!" The other girls gazed at Gary with wonder.
"And you're not even saying, 'Great Tits'!" said Phyllis.
"Well, they are nice," Gary said, "but that's not what the statue is about. I mean, just look at it! It's wonderful."
It was Sharon who suddenly said, "It's Thora!" When the others looked at her, she said, "Look. Their faces are the same. Thora must have been the model for the statue."
Thora smiled wistfully and said, "Yes. It was carved shortly after we became lovers. It shows me worshipping Athena, but actually I was worshipping Helena."
Gary looked at her admiringly. "You must have been very much in love to look like that, and she must have been very much in love to capture it." Thora blushed.
Phyllis frowned. "If Gary is going to start becoming sensitive and understanding, we'd better get off this island fast. I want my Neanderthal back."
Chapter 11. Experiment 12345
The girls continued on their way to the Science Laboratory, where Thora left them. Princess Diana led them to the office of the Chief Scientist, and introduced them to Tonia, Paula's assistant. Tonia promised them full access, and asked what they wanted to see first. Superbabe expressed an interest in what Paula had been working on before her disappearance, and Tonia pulled out a large loose-leaf notebook and thumbed through it.
"Here it is," she said. "Limb regeneration." The group looked over the page in the book that described Paula's current experiments.
"Does this book contain all the experiments that the Amazons are currently working on?" Superbabe asked.
The book was quite thick, and Tonia replied, "This is all the experiments for the past three years. Each scientist submits a summary of her intended experiments, which must be approved by the Chief Scientist. In the archive are the books detailing prior experiments, going back 1000 years to when the Science Laboratory was founded. Before that Amazon scientists worked on a more random system, but some unfortunate accidents led to the adoption of this method."
"May I?" asked Superbabe, and took the book from Tonia's hands. She riffled through it at super-speed, so that to the inexperienced eye it would seem she was just fanning the pages. But the babe from Krypton actually read every page. "Hmm," she said. "Nothing in here seems to shed any light on the disappearance." A far-away look came into her eyes, and she said, "Wait a minute." She opened the book and turned a few pages, eventually turning a page and then turning back. "The experiments are all numbered," she said. "And every number seems to be here … except number 12345."
Tonia looked over her shoulder. "That's strange," she said. "Pages are NEVER removed from the book."
"Do you know what experiment 12345 was?" Superbabe asked.
"No," Tonia replied, "but I'm sure Paula would. She has a fantastic memory."
"Okay, group," Marie said. "Spread out and search the lab. We're looking for anything that might refer to experiment 12345." She herself split into two girls, both of whom went out into the lab complex. Superbabe leapt into the air and flew above the complex, looking down with x-ray vision. Phyllis changed to her phantom form, walking through walls and looking into closed rooms and sealed boxes. Sharon dwindled in size, and scuttled under all the work-benches looking for a clue. A gigantic image of the number 12345 appeared, and floated through the laboratory looking for a match. At super-speed Princess Diana hurried through the lab, looking at every piece of paper. As the other girls hunted, Miss Invisible listened unseen to the conversations of the Amazon scientists, who were watching the Vandals' hunt with amazement. And Ultra Chick … sat on a stool in the office, watching her comrades.
"Don't you have a power that would help?" asked Tonia.
"I have these Ultra Pills that give me the same power as Superboy," Gary replied. "But I only have three left, and I'm saving them for an emergency."
"May I see them?" Tonia asked. Gary presented her with the vial, and she shook out the two pills. "Hmm," she said. "Come with me." A moment later the pills were being examined through an ultra-microscope with spectrometer attachment. "Hmm," Tonia said again. "I believe I can duplicate this formula!"
"You could make me some more Ultra Pills?" Gary asked with astonishment. "Oh, man, that would be wonderful!!!" She watched with awe as Tonia carefully wrote down her plans on page 13199 of the big book, and then handed back the pills. Happily Gary popped a pill into her mouth and felt the power flowing into her.
Chapter 12. Solo Flights
A short time later, the Legion of Super-Vandals regrouped. "Not a thing," reported Superbabe, and the others agreed. Master Mxyzptlk explained that his magically-created image of the number should have been attracted to anything having a similarity, but it came up with nothing.
"It's almost noon," Princess Diana said. "Why don't we discuss plans over lunch?" The others agreed, and they left the lab and headed to the dining hall. They were joined by the rest of the Amazons.
"Well, what next?" Phyllis asked.
"I don't know," Marie said. "I feel like we found an important clue, but it doesn't seem to lead anywhere."
"I think we should split up," Superbabe said. "Each of us check a different area, using our powers to help us. I'd like to fly around the outlying islands and see if there are any clues there."
"That sounds like a good idea," said Marie. "Then we can meet here at dinnertime and see if anyone came up with anything."
"GARY!" Phyllis exclaimed. "Stop touching yourself down there!"
Gary grinned at the shocked girls. "Hey, I'm just trying to get in touch with my feminine side."
"Well, stop it!" Phyllis ordered. "You can get in touch with MY feminine side when we get back to Smallville, but for now, keep your hands above your waist!"
"Oh, like there's nothing up there for him to play with," Sharon said, and then blushed.
The meal over, the seven detectives went their separate ways. Marie took her camera to photograph points of interest. Phyllis, in phantom form, went ghosting through the Grecian style buildings. A tiny Sharon hunted in Hippolyta's quarters for clues that might have been too small to notice. Superbabe flew off to the outer islands, while Master Mxyzptlk went back to the temple of Athena. It's hard to say where Miss Invisible went, since no one could see her. And, having finished an extra dessert, Ultra Chick strolled leisurely out of the dining hall and across the campus. She was surprised to hear a woman's voice calling, "Gary," and turned to meet Thora, Helena's room-mate.
"Hello," Thora said shyly. "I hope you've been enjoying your stay. I brought you something as a souvenir of your stay." She held out a small necklace, with a large crystal drop at the end. Inside the drop was a small object, and with his penetra-vision Gary saw that it was a replica of the Worshipper statue, with very intricate detail.
"It's beautiful," she said. "I'll keep it always to remember you." Then she looked into Thora's eyes, and perhaps Gary's female form had something to do with the sensitivity and understanding that she felt. Almost sadly, she said, "You know, Phyllis and I are a couple."
A series of emotions crossed Thora's face in an instant: first surprise, then disappointment, and finally cheerful resignation. "Oh, this is just a little present, a thank you for your efforts in trying to locate Helena. We're all very grateful."
"I understand," Gary said, and dropped the necklace over his head. The next few moments might have been awkward, but at that moment they heard screams coming from the Temple of Athena. "Whoops, gotta go," Gary said, and activated her Ultra speed to head in the direction of the screaming.
Chapter 13. Oh, That Imp!
It didn't take Gary long to discover what the trouble was. A gigantic woman, dressed in a flowing robe and a war helmet, with a huge shield and spear, was menacing two Amazons, while others fled. Gary dropped from the sky to land in front of the giantess and switched to ultra-strength. Jamming the point of the shield into the ground, she then flipped the shaft up until it hit the giantess under the chin. Gary hoped it would knock her out, but was shocked when it actually knocked her head off! She fell to the ground and lay motionless. "Who is this?" Gary demanded of the frightened women.
"It's the statue of Athena from the temple, come to life!"
"Statue come to life?" Gary gasped, and then shouted, "MXYZPTLK! Show yourself!" The only response was a giggle from the air, and then the screams of other Amazons down by the docks. Gary super-sped to the site, where she saw two huge mermaids dragging women toward the sea. As she zoomed in, she saw a figure in the sky above, whirling a shining golden rope which settled around the neck of one of the mermaids. It was Wonder Girl, and she lifted the mermaid into the air and began shaking it. It let go of its prisoner, and Gary darted in to catch the falling woman. Then the Amazon princess began vibrating the rope, until the mermaid shattered.
Meanwhile Gary dropped off her passenger, and flew towards the other mermaid. She grabbed it by the tail and began pulling it back toward the land. Wonder Girl landed and grabbed the arm that held the captive Amazon. With a mighty tug she jerked the arm off altogether, freeing the captive. Then an Amazon punch shattered the mermaid. More screams were heard, from the temple itself. Together the two girls flew to the ornate building, where inside they found a statue of Diana the huntress shooting an arrow at the Oracle, Cassandra. Gary used Ultra-Speed to throw herself in front of the arrow, then switched to Invulnerability just before the arrow pierced her chest. Meanwhile Princess Diana whipped the lasso around the legs of her namesake's statue and pulled mightily, pulling the giant woman off her feet. When it hit the ground, it shattered too.
"MXYZPTLK!" Gary roared. "This isn't funny. These statues are going berserk! Someone's going to get hurt unless you cancel your spell!"
"Spoilsport," cried the red-haired imp, appearing in mid-air. "All right, you've talked me into it." With a wave of his hand he reformed the statue of Diana, and caused it to walk back to its niche.
"Your friend is more trouble than he's worth," Diana stated.
"True," said Gary, "but he's awfully useful, too. Mxyzptlk, what was the big idea?"
"I thought it would be funny to watch the Amazons being chased by these giant statues. And it was, too. And you and Wonder Girl were terrific in action together. You should team up!"
"Thanks," Gary said, "but I'm already part of a couple. What is it today? Am I irresistible to the opposite sex when I'm not a member of the opposite sex myself."
"No," said Princess Diana. "You're not irresistible. I'm resisting you just fine, thank you. It's your little friend who's trying to play matchmaker."
"He probably thinks it's funny," Gary decided.
Chapter 14. Speculations
And so, as the shadows grew long across Paradise Island, the group reassembled at the dining hall. Marie looked at their tired faces and sighed. "Okay," she said. "Did anyone learn anything of interest?"
"I did," said the faux-Clark proudly.
"Look what Thora gave me," said Gary, showing the pendant. The girls gathered round and made oohing noises at the lovely gift.
"What was that furor around the temple this afternoon," Phyllis asked.
"That blasted carrot-top made a bunch of statues come to life," Gary explained, throwing a peach at the floating imp, who was idly eating a bunch of grapes. The peach did not hit him, though; it burst into a shower of flower petals that rained down on Sharon, Marie and Princess Diana.
"I learned something," added faux-Clark.
Sharon was looking at the pendant carefully. "It's beautiful, and so very detailed," she said. "Was the Worshipper one of the statues that came to life?"
"I didn't see it," Gary said, and looked at Wonder Girl, who agreed. Superbabe used her telescopic and x-ray vision powers to look into the temple.
"Hmm," she said. "It's not there now. Could it be hiding?"
"Damn it, I heard something important," faux-Clark yelled. The others jerked back, looking at him.
"Okay, okay," Marie said. "You don't have to shout."
"Listen," the girl wearing glasses said. "I was wandering around the island invisible, listening in on conversations…"
"Snoop," said Phyllis, but she was shushed by the others.
"And I heard an Amazon named Gigi bullying an Amazon named Euphrosyne." (Euphrosyne is pronounced you-FRO-sin-nee.) "It seems that Gigi and Euphrosyne are room-mates, but Euphrosyne was going to move out and move in with Helena. So that means Helena was leaving Thora!"
"Wow," said Marie. "That makes Thora our most likely suspect!"
"What about Gigi?" faux-Clark asked. "I thought she seemed a probability."
"I suspect Tonia," said Phyllis sternly. "She's become chief scientist now that Paula's out of the way."
"But why would she destroy Helena?" Marie asked.
"As a test! A dry run of experiment 12345!"
"Well, I suspect Antiope," said Gary. "She's become queen of the island now that Hippolyta's vanished."
"But where are the missing Amazons?" cried Princess Diana. "Where's my mother? What could have happened to them?
Chapter 15. The End in Sight
"That's a good question," Superbabe said. "I can't find them anywhere on any of the islands. Were they disintegrated?"
Diana moaned, and Marie said, "Poor choice of words, Superbabe."
"Or wait! I've got an idea!" the girl of steel went on. "There is a place, a 'phantom zone', where criminals of Krypton were exiled. Maybe experiment 12345 was a Phantom Zone projector."
"Is the Phantom Zone where Jax-Ur and Dr. Vakox are imprisoned?" Phyllis asked.
"Why, yes," said Superbabe. "How do you know about it?"
"I've been there," Phyllis answered. "In my phantom form I can actually project myself into and out of the Phantom Zone. They're not very pleasant characters, are they? Anyway, I looked into the Phantom Zone from here on the island, and there's nobody there at all. Some kind of force, I think, shields the island from the Phantom Zone."
"Probably a work of Aphrodite, to protect the Amazons," said Diana.
"That was my second guess," said Phyllis.
"So are we any closer?" demanded Marie. "We have some clues, we think, and some suspects, but we don't seem to have any solid ideas."
"We need to know what experiment 12345 was," Superbabe said firmly.
"Maybe," said Marie. "It's peculiar, but we don't really know if it's related."
"Experiment 12345," Sharon said dreamily, holding Gary's necklace by the chain and letting the pendant swing. Then she suddenly said "Oh!" very loudly. Then she stood up, dropped the necklace, slapped her cheeks and cried "OH!" She turned, shoving her seat aside, and stumbled toward the door.
"Sharon," Marie cried. "Where are you going?"
Sharon looked over her shoulder and called, "I'm going to find the missing Amazons. I'll be right back!" The detectives looked at each other in amazement, and then jumped from their seats, knocking some over, and hurried after Sharon. The super-speedsters had the advantage: Ultra Chick, Superbabe and Wonder Girl led the way, with Master Mxyzptlk flying after them, and Marie, Phyllis and faux-Clark trailing. The other Amazons in the dining hall had heard Sharon's final remark, and they sprang to their feet and followed. But Antiope stepped in front of them and held out her arms.
"Stop," she ordered. "This is their task, and they don't need 100 Amazons looking over their shoulders. Let us pray to Aphrodite that the little one is correct, and our sisters will soon be restored to us!"
Chapter 16. The Missing Amazons
Outside the building, the girls found Sharon running across the campus toward Helena's dormitory. They followed at a somewhat slower pace, letting her take the lead. She ran into the building, and by the time the others were inside she was darting through the curtain that covered the door to Helena's room. Parting the curtain, they found Sharon on Thora's side of the room, removing the lid of the glass box that held the model of an Amazon building. She clambered onto the shelf and began shrinking, and when she was small enough climbed into the box and continued growing tinier.
"I knew it!" Marie gasped. "It was Thora all the time!"
"Darn," said Superbabe. "The building is shielded with lead. I can't see in!"
"I can," said Ultra Chick, pushing her aside.
"What do you see, what do you see?" squealed Master Mxyzptlk. But Superbabe brushed him aside. "Well, forget you!" Mxyzptlk shouted (or something like that) and waved his hands. Instantly a helmet appeared on Superbabe's head, and an image of the scene she was seeing appeared on the wall. Sharon was running up the steps of the tiny building, and pounding on the door. At first nothing happened, and she was shouting, but she was too tiny for the others to hear what she said. Then the door of the building opened, and a regal figure in a long white gown and a golden crown stepped outside to address Sharon.
"Mother!" screamed Princess Diana. "It's Mother! She found them!" Excitedly they watched as Sharon talked and pointed up at the others. Hippolyta saw them, and waved vigorously at Diana. Two more tiny women came out of the building and waved.
"I see it all now!" Marie cried. "Thora's a scientist! Experiment 12345 must have been an experiment in miniaturization. And when Helena told Thora she was leaving her, Thora jealously shrank her to tiny size so she couldn't leave. And Paula probably knew what experiment 12345 was, so she had to go, too. And Hippolyta must have found some clue that pointed at Thora!"
"Very smart," said a woman's voice behind them. "But too late, I'm afraid."
The heroes whirled and found themselves facing Thora, who held a small device in her hand. "Yes, I shrank my beloved Helena so she wouldn't leave me. And Paula and Hippolyta figured it out, just like you. So I shrank them, too – just like you." She raised her hand and pointed the device at the girls, but before she could trigger it a pair of hands came out of the curtain and snatched the device. Thora whirled and hit her attacker, sending her sprawling into the room. It was Marie's second body.
"I suspected this might happen," the Marie with the others said, "so I duplicated and one of me hid behind the curtain."
"Give me that, you witch," Thora screamed, lunging at the Marie on the floor. But Superbabe and Wonder Girl were too quick for her, leaping forward to grab her arms before she could do their friend any harm.
Marie got up from the floor shakily. "All right," she said, as her double came over and they became one girl again. "How do you reverse this thing?"
"There's no way to reverse it," Thora screamed, frothing at the mouth. "The effect is permanent! You'll never get your queen back."
"That's too bad," Marie said. "I hope you're lying." And she fired the device at Thora.
Chapter 17. Your Basic Happy Ending
Superbabe released Thora as she grew tinier and tinier, but Wonder Girl kept a tight grip on her arm, and when she was small enough lifted her and carried her to the glass box and lowered her in with the others. For a moment it looked like the tiny Helena and Paula were going to assault her, but the queen held them back. And then the queen began to speak to Thora, and though the heroes could not hear what was said, they had the feeling that Hippolyta was giving Thora the worst scold of her life. Thora slumped, covered her face with her hands, and threw herself on her knees before the queen. More unheard dialogue ensued. Then Sharon ran down the stairs and hurried toward the side of the box. As she did so she began increasing in size, until she could see over the top of the box, and the others could hear her.
"Who's got the device?" she demanded in a squeaky little voice. Marie held it up. "Great," squeaked Sharon. "Twist the triggering mechanism 180 degrees. Thora says that will reverse the effect."
Sharon then returned, still in her larger size which was like a giant to the tiny Amazons, and picked them up and carried them to the edge of the box. The four of them balanced on the rim, and Marie followed Thora's instructions while Sharon dodged out of the way. To the delight of the heroes, the four tiny women began to grow. When they were too large to stand on the box rim any more, they jumped out into the room, and landed like doll-sized cats on the floor. They continued growing, while Sharon scrambled out of the box and joined them. Very soon four normal-sized Amazons stood before the Legion of Super-Vandals. Diana, crying, leaped forward and hugged her mother tightly.
"We did it," Marie whispered. "We solved the mystery and rescued the missing Amazons!"
"Well, Sharon did," Superbabe remarked.
"No, I couldn't have done it without all of you," Sharon said modestly. "Superbabe discovered experiment 12345, and Gary got the pendant with the woman praying -- I'll bet that's the real statue. And Master Mxyzptlk made it possible for you to come to the island, and Clark heard Gigi and Euphrosyne. And Marie really figured it out, I just guessed the rest. It took all of us."
The group walked out of the room, with Superbabe holding the subdued Thora. When they walked out onto the campus, they found the other Amazons assembled, waiting for them. When they saw the queen, the crowd went wild. The next thing the heroines knew, they were being carried on the shoulders of a dozen women, while others threw flowers. The parade went back into the dining hall, and the Amazon cooks began bringing out a Thanksgiving feast. Sharon was so embarrassed at being in the spotlight that she kept losing control of her power and shrinking. Amazons were hugging and kissing the Super-Vandals, and some even jumped into the air to plant a kiss on Master Mxyzptlk. Flower leis were also distributed, and everyone celebrated the return of the missing women. Helena sprang forward to embrace a woman whom they assumed was Euphrosyne, although only Clark knew for sure.
"What's going to happen to Thora?" Marie asked Princess Diana.
"She will be taken to Transformation Island, where the Amazon virtues of Discipline and Love will be reinstilled in her."
The party went on all night, but after a while the queen saw that the heroes were growing weary, and sent them off to Diana's suite. They were too tired to stay up talking, so they all tumbled into the cushions. "I'll take you home tomorrow," Superbabe promised.
Chapter 18. Hail and Farewell
The next morning, at Queen Hippolyta's request, the heroines assembled on the shore before going back to the cabin cruiser. "We have some gifts for you, in gratitude for your rescuing us," she said.
Tonia stepped forward. "Gary, here is a bottle containing 365 of your Ultra Pills. You will be able to continue being a super-heroine when you return to Man's World." Gary was speechless, both at the renewed supply of pills and the idea of being a super-heroine.
Helena stepped forward, and said, "We would like you to keep the pendant with the statue in it. It seems inappropriate to have a statue in the temple of Athena that was modeled after someone who turned out to be a villain."
Wonder Girl came next, holding the glass box containing the model of the temple. "This is for you, too. A souvenir of your adventure."
The queen stepped forward with a small medallion on a chain. She held it up to Master Mxyzptlk. "This medal is for you," she said. "It commemorates the fact that you were the first male to visit Paradise Island in its 3000 year history." The fifth dimensional imp blushed as red as his carrot hair.
"Photos," cried Marie. "I must get photographs of everybody!" She whipped out her camera and began snapping. "Okay, group picture," she said, and gathered the Legion, Master Mxyzptlk and Wonder Girl into a bunch. One of the Amazons took the camera so that Marie could be in the picture too.
"And now, farewell," said the queen. "A flotilla of Amazons will carry you to your ship and see you on your way back to Man's World." The heroines stepped into several boats that sped them over the ocean to the cabin cruiser, where they climbed back on board. Wonder Girl came with them, and tearful hugs were exchanged.
"I would like to move that we make Wonder Girl the second honorary member of the Legion of Super-Vandals," Marie said. Gary seconded the motion, and the vote was unanimous.
Then Sharon tentatively held up her hand. "I'd like to nominate Master Mxyzptlk as an honorary member, too," she said.
"No!" cried Superbabe. "He's one of my worst enemies."
"Well," Gary pointed out, "this club was formed by your worst enemy, with the intention of embarrassing you. Why shouldn't one of your other enemies be a member, too?"
And as Superbabe fumed, faux-Clark piped up, "I second the nomination."
"Vote," cried Marie, and every one of the Vandals held up her hand. "It's unanimous," she declared.
"Hey, I didn't vote for him," said Superbabe.
"You're an honorary member," Marie pointed out. "You don't get a vote."
Superbabe's eyes widened with anger, and she almost flew off without them. But Master Mxyzptlk, wearing his medallion and with tears leaking from his eyes, landed on the deck of the boat." "This is the nicest thing that's ever happened to me," he said. "I can't tell you enough how happy I am. But I'll show you. Superbabe, for the first time ever, you won't have to trick me into saying my name backward. I'll say it myself. KLPTXYZM!" And the imp disappeared with a flash. At the same time, Superbabe, Ultra Chick and Miss Invisible felt a change go over them.
"We're guys again!" Gary exulted. He immediately grabbed his crotch. "Yes, big daddy is HOME!"
Chapter 19. Home Again
Superboy, fearful for his secret identity, turned to look at where faux-Clark had been standing. And found him still standing there. Clark gave the boy of steel a big wink and a grin. Thinking back, Superboy realized that the imp had deliberately mispronounced his name. That meant he hadn't returned to the fifth dimension. Furious, Superboy jumped overboard, dived into the sea under the cabin cruiser, and lifted it into the sky. He heard the others talking above, and knew that they had not forgotten any of the magic used by Master Mxyzptlk. "He's still around here somewhere," the boy of steel grumbled. "What other tricks is he up to?"
But the trip back to Smallville was uneventful, and they arrived about noon on Sunday. Disembarking, Gary said, "That was an ADVENTURE!" The others agreed, and then hurried off to their homes. Superboy watched faux-Clark headed for the Kent residence. He picked up the boat and flew it back to its owner, and then raced home. He used his x-ray vision to locate his double, and then flew into the house openly as Superboy to confront him in the kitchen.
Clark was eating a piece of Martha Kent's cherry pie with great enjoyment. Martha gasped when she saw Superboy and Clark in the same place. "All right, you – thing!" Superboy said. "What's the idea? Where's your master?"
"Have some pie," Clark offered. "It's really good. Ma makes the best cherry pie in the world."
"Never mind the pie," Superboy growled. "Where's Mxyzptlk, and what's he up to?"
"He'll be along soon enough," Clark replied. Then he added, "Someone's at the door."
Martha Kent opened the door, to reveal Lana Lang. "Did I just see Superboy," she gasped, and then saw the two boys. The look of disappointment on her face was evident.
"Hey, Lana," Clark beamed. "Come on in and have some pie!"
"I'd like to," Lana said, "but I can't stay. I'm late for an appointment. Maybe later."
"Great," said Clark with a mouthful of pie. "See you then." And the girl left. "There," said Clark proudly. "I've helped protect your secret identity. Aren't you pleased with me?" He pushed away from the table. "Thanks, Ma," he said. "Great pie." Martha was flabbergasted.
Superboy followed Clark into the living room, where the bespectacled boy threw himself on the sofa. "Have a seat," he said hospitably. At that moment there was a pop, and Master Mxyzptlk appeared.
"Where have you been?" Superboy demanded. "What have you been up to?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" the imp replied. "I had an errand to run, and needed to see a couple of things finished. But now everything's taken care of, and I'll be bopping along. Do you like my medal?" Superboy didn't answer, just glowered, so Master Mxyzptlk shrugged. "YOU are no fun at all," he said. "It's no wonder I play so many pranks on you. You need to lighten up." Then he said, very carefully, "KLTPZYXM," and vanished. This time, faux-Clark vanished too, as the remaining effects of Mxyzptlk's magic disappeared.
"Thank Krypton he's gone," Superboy said. "And he'll stay gone for 90 days. Now all I have to do is think of how to explain to the Super-Vandals what happened." But he was wrong.
Chapter 20. The Final Curtain
The next day Clark found another note from Marie in his locker, summoning him to a Super-Vandals meeting. Immediately after school he hurried to the warehouse, and climbed the stairs to find the others there before him. There were six loose-leaf notebooks on the table, one by each chair. Phyllis, Gary and Sharon were busy reading, and occasionally giggling, snorting, or laughing out loud. "Have a seat," Marie said. "And start reading."
Clark obeyed, and his eyes widened with shock as he read the first page, entitled: "The Super-Vandals on Paradise Island." The document was a typed account of their adventure, including the fact that Gary, Clark and Superboy had been temporarily turned into females. Every detail was carefully recorded. While they were reading, Marie busied herself in the next room. When they were finished reading, Marie took a pack of photographs and handed them around the table. Clark was shocked to find that they were the pictures Marie took, definitely showing Superbabe, Ultra Chick and Miss Invisible.
"I don't understand," he said.
"I'm a little confused, too," said Marie. "I've forgotten a lot of things about the adventure, although I remember most of it. You see, when Master Mxyzptlk returns to the fifth dimension, we humans forget what we learned as a result of his magic. And all his magical effects disappear, too. But yesterday when I got back I went straight to the police station, where I borrowed two typewriters. One of me typed the first half of the story while the other was typing the second. Then we used the police photocopier to make six copies, which you see now. Plus I developed the pictures. And since the typewriting and the camera weren't magical effects, they didn't disappear when he did."
"I don't understand either," Gary said. "This said he went back to the fifth dimension while we were on the boat, but we remembered until last night."
"Apparently he didn't go back to the fifth dimension right away," Marie said. "That was just a ruse to fool Superboy. But he hung around until I could get this typed. Now go look in the trophy room." The five teen-agers went into the next room, where Marie had arranged their souvenirs – the model house and the pendant, plus a picture of the six girls, Princess Diana and Master Mxyzptlk. They saw that a photo of Thora had been added beside Lex Luthor's picture in the Rogues' Gallery, while pictures of Wonder Girl and Master Mxyzptlk hung beside a picture of Superboy in a section labeled "Honorary Members."
"That's wonderful," enthused Sharon. "I'm so glad you did this, so we'll never forget our adventure on Paradise Island, and the new friends we made."
"And I've hidden the original and the negatives, so that Superboy can't find them," Marie said. "You know he'd like to destroy them. He won't be too happy that we remember now about Master Mxyzptlk."
"This is great," Gary said. "The club is living up to its original goal … to embarrass Superboy."
THE END
In the next episode of the Legion of Super-Vandals:
Clark Kent's 18th Birthday Party
Pete Ross has a sleep-over with Clark!!!
The Strange Secret of Sharon Vaughn
and… An Alien Invasion!
It doesn't get any better than this!