A Desert Peach/Blackadder Crossover Slash Fanfic by the Jeanster.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the rights to Desert Peach or Blackadder. This is just a piece of slash fanfiction for entertainment. (Jean Akins)
Blackadder sat in his bunker. He was deep in thought.
"Damn that Melchett!" Blackadder thought. What a crazy idea, ordering Blackadder to hold the young German soldier here in Blackadder's own bunker for questioning. He had no idea of the effect this beautiful blond, blue-eyed seventeen year-old lad would have on Blackadder. "But I like women!" he kept telling himself. And indeed, Blackadder had shagged many a bird when he was back in England.
He played back in his mind and could clearly see every moment, how Pfirsich cooperated fully while being taken into custody, how he handed over his gun when ordered to do so, how he smiled warmly and stared deeply at Blackadder with those beautiful blue eyes of his.
He still hardly believed how aroused he could be by just thinking of Pfirsich, and what it would be like to spend some quality time with that beautiful young German soldier, just the two of them, without anyone else walking in on them. He wanted to stroke that young face and run his fingers through that soft golden blond hair.
Blackadder closed his eyes as he thought about his feelings. He never thought he'd ever have such feelings toward a man, much less a member of the enemy. He's a German! But a gorgeous one at that. Damn! Of all the German soldiers to end up losing his way and falling into this trench, why did it have to be Pfirsich? Why not someone he didn't give a rat's ass about?
Suddenly he felt soft lips connecting with his, kissing him ever so gently. Blackadder opened his eyes. Pfirsich was now sitting next to him, kissing him and putting his arms around him. Part of Blackadder wanted to protest and push him away, but the stronger part of him took over and kissed Pfirsich back with a passion, hugged him close and pushed him down onto the bed.
Cue soft music, sounds of kissing and shagging, soft focus and fade.........
That's when Blackadder awoke. His heart raced and he was sweating profusely. He looked over and saw Pfirsich asleep in the bed across the room.
"It was a dream! Only a dream. Damn that Melchett!" cursed Blackadder. He stared at Pfirsich.
Pfirsich slept. A vision came to him. Or was it only a dream? The face of an angel appeared before him and told him he must leave this bunker and return to his side, for he had a very important destiny to fulfill. What destiny, he asked the angel. But you know how evasive angels can be. She would not reveal it to him. Instead she just told him again it was very important to escape from the bunker and return to his side. Fine, thought Pfirsich. But how to escape? Blackadder had taken Pfirsich's gun and there were men outside the bunker who would see if he tried to leave.
That's so like an angel, thought Pfirsich in his dream. Tells me I have to leave this guarded bunker because I have an important destiny to fulfill, but doesn't give me a clue as to how to escape. And would someone please answer the telephone that has been ringing?!
Then Pfirsich awakened to the sound of that telephone ringing. He opened his eyes and saw Blackadder sitting on a chair across the room. Blackadder stared back at Pfirsich as he picked up the phone and spoke into it.
"Blackadder here. Oh, yes, Darling, what do you want?"
Darling? Pfirsich was puzzled. Was the English Captain's sweetheart on the phone with him?
"No, I haven't finished questioning the prisoner. Well, after we cleaned his uniform of all that dirty mud and let him take a bath, he decided he needed a nap, so I let him sleep. But don't worry, Darling. I have the situation under control. Yes, I'll let you know if I can get any vital information from him." Blackadder hangs up the phone.
Blackadder turned to Pfirsich. "So, you're awake now."
Pfirsich nodded and sat up in the bed, not sure what what to do next.
Blackadder and Pfirsich exchanged pleasantries, then chatted about life back in their respective homes. A hour passed, and they talked about everything under the sun except for things that Melchett and Darling would want Blackadder to question the German soldier about. Answers to questions that would help tip things in their favor.
Pfirsich saw his uniform hanging on a hook. It was now clean and dry. He got up and walked over to it. Somehow he could sense Blackadder watching him, but he pretended not to notice.
"God, he's perfect," thought Blackadder. The young German soldier had a tall, lean, muscular physique and moved gracefully. Definitely easier on the eyes than Baldrick. He wondered how nice it would be to wake up every morning to see this beautiful young blond, blue-eyed lad. "Snap out it!" Blackadder said to himself.
Just then Lt. George entered the bunker. Pfirsich was getting dressed and turned to see who it was.
"Tally-ho, sir! And to you, too, Rommel." George smiled at Pfirsich.
"Please call me Pfirsich," said the German. Pfirsich finished buttoning his shirt and was now putting on his boots.
"Pfirsich it is," said George. "And you must call me George." He turned to Blackadder. "Our guest might be hungry by now. Perhaps Baldrick can scrape up a meal for him?"
Blackadder shuddered at the thought of Pfirsich coming down with food poisoning from ingesting anything prepared by Baldrick. They were used to Baldrick's cooking, but this young lad would have no immunity built up to it.
"Uh, perhaps we can make other arrangments for our guest's meal," said Blackadder.
"Guest? Don't you mean prisoner?" said Captain Darling standing in the doorway. He had a scowl on his face. "General Melchett sent me down here to personally see how the questioning is progressing. Doesn't look to me like you've made any progress whatsoever. Am I right?"
"That all depends," said a voice behind Captain Darling. Darling's face had a look of sudden fear and he was pushed forward into the bunker. Baron von Richthoven held a gun to Darling's back. "Do as I say and no one vill get hurt. And no one here try to be a hero, or your captain here dies."
Darling sweated and trembled, knowing how Blackadder detested him, and wondered if he would try something just to get the Baron to shoot Darling dead and get him out of his hair once and for all.
Lt. George looked to Blackadder for any sign as to what to do. Blackadder shrugged.
"You're in charge at the moment, since you've caught us off guard," said Blackadder. "What do you want?"
"Him," said the Baron, pointing at Pfirsich. "Come, Rommel. Time to escape."
Blackadder felt a surge of powerful emotions rushing through him. Pfirsich leaving? Now? If only they'd met under different circumstances, in a different time and place. He didn't know what to say or do.
Pfirsich looked at Blackadder for a few seconds, then said, "Would you please hand me my gun, Captain Blackadder?"
The Baron said, "Carefully! Don't try anything funny or I vill kill this man!" Darling moaned weakly in terror.
Blackadder nodded and slowly reached over to a shelf, picked up Pfirsich's gun that he had taken earlier and handed it carefully to the young German lad.
Pfirsich took the gun and smiled. He pointed it at Blackadder and said, "Auf Wiedersehen, zuckerarsch. After the war, please do come visit Germany. It's really quite beautiful during peace time."
Then he left the bunker. The Baron struck Captain Darling with butt of the gun and knocked him unconscious. "Don't follow us!" he said and followed Pfirsich.
Lt. George checked on Captain Darling. "I think he'll be all right. Sir, what shall we do? Go after them?"
Blackadder replied, "No, George, let's sit back and have a drink. I need one right now."
"Yes, sir," said George.
[Manfred Pfirsich Marie Rommel eventually does fulfill his destiny to become an honorable officer in the German army during World War One and World War Two. He will lead the Afrika Korps battalion: the 469th halftrack, support and gravedigging battalion. He will serve as a father-figure to his soldiers. For more on that, go read the books by Donna Barr: The Desert Peach.]
