Rated NC-17
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the rights to Blackadder or Star Trek Voyager. This is simply a work of fan fiction for entertainment dedicated to Kara (a.k.a. Nurse Mary) of the Blackadder Ladies Club. Main Image you see here is courtesy of The Print Shop by Broderbund.
December 1
Dear Diary,
Today I met the godfather of my dear schoolchum Millicent. His name is Ebenezer Blackadder. She let me go with her to see him working in his moustache shoppe. Oh, Diary, he's the nicest, kindest, most generous man in all of London. And so very handsome, too! But I dare not let on about my feelings toward him because I'm sure he thinks of me as only a child, even though I am already fifteen. I haven't told anyone about this, especially Millicent, for if she knew, she might accidentally let it slip out while speaking to him, and I'd be mortified! The thought of never being able to show my face in his moustache shoppe out of total embarrassment terrifies me. I must think of some excuse as to why I would be paying a visit to his shoppe. After all, what would a girl of fifteen need of items sold there?
I can't get him out of my mind, Diary. What to do, what to do? That sweet, kind voice coming from that handsome face atop that beautiful, lean attractive body. Oh, Diary! Dare I tell you of his body? I can see by the way his clothes fit that he is simply divine! I want to marry him and experience the joy of sharing his bed every night! Oh, dear. Mother and Father would be so very shocked and angry if they ever find what I've written here! Good girls don't think of such things, I've been told by them and by the clergy. But I can't deny my feelings to myself, and I won't deny them to you, Diary.
I shall retire for the night now, and dream of a life with Mr. Ebenezer Blackadder. Oh, to be Mrs. Ebenezer Blackadder! I would give anything to have that come true!
Kara
SCENE: A week later at school. We see Kara sitting on a bench in the yard. Millicent approaches.
MILLICENT: Hello, Kara. Looking for this?
She holds out a small leatherbound book.
KARA: My diary! Oh, Millicent! I've been looking everywhere for it!
MILLICENT: You left it at my house the other day after school. Careless of you. You really should be more careful, you know.
KARA: Thank you! I've been worried sick! Uh, could I please have it back now?
MILLICENT (keeping the diary out of Kara's reach): Not just yet. We need to discuss something. Something regarding my dear godfather.
KARA (feeling very sick): Oh, no. Millicent, please tell me you didn't read my diary!
MILLICENT: Kara, how well do you know me?
KARA: I've known you since we both started school in grade one.
MILLICENT: Exactly. So you know me well enough to realize that OF COURSE I read your diary!
Kara buries her head in her lap and trembles with embarrassment.
MILLICENT: I guess you're not used to owning a diary. If you were, you'd have known to keep it locked up somewhere safe instead of carrying it around with you everywhere. It must have fallen out of your bookbag when we were studying at my house.
KARA (about to cry): Millicent, I beg of you. Please don't breathe a word to anyone about what I wrote in it! I'd just die of embarrassment!
MILLICENT: Oh, pull yourself together, Kara! Don't start blubbering on me! I have a proposition for you.
KARA: A proposition?
MILLICENT: Yes. You're one of the best students in our class. And you know I don't do nearly as well as you do when it comes to academics.
KARA: What's your point?
MILLICENT: I want you to do all my homework assignments for me for the rest of the school year. In exchange, I will return your diary to you and I won't tell anyone about what you wrote in it regarding my dear godfather.
KARA: Millicent! How could you?!
MILLICENT: That's the deal. Take it or leave it.
KARA: You'd only be cheating yourself of an education! How could you even think of blackmailing me this way?
MILLICENT: Well, remember Ralphie?
KARA: That tall fish-faced fellow I saw hanging around you the other day?
MILLICENT: Yes! He's rather sweet on me. I love the attention I get from him. Anyway, I'd rather spend my free time with Ralphie instead of working on some stupid homework assignment. So you do my homework, and that will free up time for me to spend with Ralphie!
KARA: Millicent, I don't know.
MILLICENT: It's either that or I show your parents AND my godfather the contents of your diary!
KARA: NO! Oh, all right! I'll do your homework for you.
MILLICENT: Good. I'll keep your diary in a very safe place in the meantime. At the end of the school year you'll get it back and we'll both be happy.
KARA: I would never have believed you capable of doing this to me, Millicent. I thought we were friends!
MILLICENT: We are friends, Kara. And friends do favors for each other. I'll do you the great favor of saving you from a tremendous amount of embarrassment. You'll do me the favor of enabling me to spend lots of time with my boyfriend Ralphie!
KARA: That's the bell. We should go inside now.
SCENE: A few weeks later. It is Christmas Day in the home of Ebenezer Blackadder. He is still trying to recover from the shock of learning from Baldrick that he had insulted the real Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, thus losing the title of Baron Blackadder and the fifty thousand pounds they were going to bestow upon him.
BLACKADDER (thinking to himself): Damn! If they'd just shown up one day earlier I'd be set for life!
He looks out the front window and recognizes someone walking across the street. His eyes light up and he smiles.
BLACKADDER: Baldrick, I'm giving you the rest of today off. In fact, take the whole week off. Don't come back until after New Year's Day. I don't want to see you until then. Got it?
BALDRICK: Yes. Oh, thank you, Mr. Blackadder! Merry Christmas! (grabs his coat and leaves before Blackadder can change his mind)
BLACKADDER: Merry Christmas to you, Baldrick.
Blackadder quickly dons his own coat and rushes outside after the familiar figure he'd seen walking across the street.
BLACKADDER: Kara! Wait a moment, please!
KARA (very surprised): Mr. Blackadder! Hello! And Merry Christmas to you.
BLACKADDER (smiling warmly): Merry Christmas to you, Kara. Are you going anywhere special? Meeting anyone?
KARA: No. Just getting some fresh air. My family and I have already had our traditional Christmas morning. Mother wants some quiet time to herself now, and Father is napping. So I decided to take a walk.
BLACKADDER: Kara, I would consider it an honour if you'd join me for a cup of tea and some biscuits.
KARA (can't believe her ears): Oh! I'd be delighted, Mr. Blackadder! Yes, of course! Thank you!
BLACKADDER: Good, good. Come along, dear. This way.
He offers his arm and she slips hers around it. They head to his moustache shoppe. He opens the door and she enters. He follows, closes the door and locks it. Then he hides the key in his pocket and closes the window shades, making sure the sign facing the outside reads 'CLOSED'.
KARA: May I help you make the tea?
BLACKADDER: No, that's all right. You're my guest. Please, have a seat, dear.
KARA (thinking to herself): I can't believe this is happening! He's SO adorable!
A few minutes later he appears with the tea and biscuits.
BLACKADDER: You are quite the brave young lady, Kara. I can imagine the courage it must have taken you to come to me a few days ago to explain your quandary. And to tell your parents, too. Very brave indeed.
KARA: Thank you. Mother and Father were wonderful and so understanding. They explained to me that they were young once themselves and remember what it feels like to fall in love the very first time.
BLACKADDER: Well, like I told you, I'm very flattered that you find me so attractive. Oh, before I forget, I have something for you.
He walks over to a small table, opens a drawer and pulls out a small leatherbound book.
BLACKADDER: I believe this belongs to you.
KARA: My diary! Oh. Did you read it?
BLACKADDER: Yes, but only because I didn't know it was your diary. Millicent brought it over earlier all nicely gift-wrapped. Imagine my surprise to receive a Christmas present from her. In all the years of being her godfather, she's never given me a present for any occasion, much less Christmas.
KARA: That must have been her way of getting back at me for what I did.
BLACKADDER: And what was that?
KARA: Well, remember when I told you she made me do her homework in exchange for not revealing to anyone what I wrote about you in my diary?
BLACKADDER: Yes.
KARA: The final big homework assignment that counted for half of our semester grade was due. I did it for her, only I made sure she'd get a bad grade for it. She was furious and must have decided to give you my diary to humiliate me.
BLACKADDER: I see. Well, I'll have a word with Millicent and her parents about her behavior.
Kara sips her tea and nibbles on a biscuit. They both are seated on the couch.
Blackadder smiles and gazes at Kara. He slides over closer to her and casually puts his arm around her shoulder.
Kara is a little nervous and excited, but she is enjoying the moment very much.
BLACKADDER: Kara, when I read what you wrote about me in your diary, I was very touched. No one's ever expressed such feelings toward me before. You're a very sweet and lovely girl.
He moves closer and brings his lips to hers and kisses her ever so gently. His arms slowly embrace her.
Kara shudders with excitement and returns the kiss. Then she relaxes in his arms and rests her head on his shoulder.
BLACKADDER: Have you ever been kissed before? By a boy, I mean.
KARA: No, I haven't. I've imagined what it would be like, though.
BLACKADDER: Did you like it just now when I kissed you?
KARA: Yes, very much.
BLACKADDER: Good. So did I.
He gently strokes her back and kisses her on the lips again. He can sense her excitement.
Blackadder lifts up her skirt and slides his hand along her thigh.
KARA: Oh! Mr. Blackadder!
BLACKADDER: You can call me Ebenezer, my dear.
KARA: What are you doing?
BLACKADDER: Do you want me to stop?
His fingers are lightly caressing her crotch area. He can feel it getting moist.
KARA: Yes. I mean, NO! Don't stop! Oh, we mustn't! What if Mother and Father were to see us?
BLACKADDER: They won't. Not to worry. I've locked the door and the shoppe is closed.
Kara stares into his eyes. He gazes deeply into hers and continues to fondle her in her private area.
KARA: Oh! My god! I've never felt like this before!
Blackadder covers her mouth with his and kisses her, only this time he is not being gentle. He pushes his tongue into her mouth and kisses her passionately. He has one hand under her skirt and the other undoing the top of her dress.
KARA: There's no chance of anyone walking in on us? Like Baldrick?
BLACKADDER (breathlessly): No chance. Gave him the week off. Door's locked and I have the only key.
KARA: Oh, good.
She kisses him and runs her fingers through his beautiful thick long hair.
She then unbuttons his vest, much to his delight.
Moments later they are both unclothed and wrapped in each other's arms. He carries her into his bedroom and places her on the bed. He covers her body with his, pinning her down.
BLACKADDER (smiling): You realize I'm not going to let you leave here until long after I've had you. And had you. And had you. Over and over and over. Again and again and again.
KARA (softly): I know that. I'm not planning on going anywhere very soon.
She kisses him and places her hands on his buttocks, pressing him close to her. She feels him eagerly entering her.
KARA: Oh, yes! Yes! Do it! I want you so much, Ebbie!
BLACKADDER (thinking to himself): 'Ebbie'? No one's ever called me that before. Oh, god, this feels so good! She's so wet and warm. And so tight!
Kara matches his thrusting movements with hers. They are in perfect rhythm.
KARA (thinking to herself): Best Christmas present I've ever gotten.
Twenty minutes later Kara asks him how he feels about something.
BLACKADDER: Fellatio?
KARA: Yes. How do you feel about it?
BLACKADDER: Kara, my dear, I'd like to tell you, but I don't know what it is.
KARA (eagerly): Oh. Well, in that case, I'll show you.
And she shows him what it is with much enthusiasm because it is only one of the many things she had dreamt of doing with him ever since that first day she saw him in his shoppe.
Ten minutes later:
BLACKADDER (happily): I'd have to say that I like it very much. Yes, very much indeed.
KARA (smiling): I thought you would.
An hour and a half later:
Ebenezer is asleep in bed. Kara is lying next to him. She is still awake and looks at him, studying his face and memorizing his features.
Harry Kim had told her that this holodeck program would allow the character of Ebenezer Blackadder to have complete free will, per her request. She didn't want to know ahead of time what Ebenezer would do. It would make her holodeck experience that much more exciting.
She knows that Ebenezer had already been paid a visit the night before by the Spirit of Christmas. So she figures he's already turned 'bad'.
KARA (thinking to herself): No more gullible prat. I let him believe he had succeeded in seducing and corrupting a young, innocent, naive girl. After having read my diary, he knew it would be very easy to get me into bed with him. Little does he know that shagging him is what I wanted all along. But what will he do now? Become a cad and toss me outside and say he never wants to see me again? It's possible, now that he's no longer the sweetest, kindest and loveliest man in London.
Kara prepared herself emotionally in the event he should do that when he awakens.
KARA (thinking to herself): Well, at least I'll always have this memory of having shagged Ebenezer Blackadder, if nothing else.
He awakens and looks up at her. Then he smiles.
BLACKADDER: Kara, we need to talk.
KARA (thinking to herself): Oh, great. Here it comes. Which will it be? The 'we'll always be friends' speech or the 'I think we should see other people' speech?
SCENE: The next day in the school yard. Kara sits on a bench near a tree. She is studying from her geometry book. Suddenly the book is knocked from her hands and falls to the ground. Kara looks up.
KARA: Millicent!
MILLICENT (scowling): I'm still angry at you for what you did! I've failed the class, thanks to you!
KARA: You brought this all on yourself, you know. Even if you won't admit it to me, at least be honest with yourself about it.
MILLICENT: Well, I've already gotten even with you, Kara! Why don't you go pay a visit to my godfather in his moustache shoppe? By now I'm sure he's opened the Christmas present I gave him.
Just then a figure steps out from behind the tree near the bench.
MILLICENT: Mr. Blackadder!
BLACKADDER: Good afternoon, Millicent. Thank you for the Christmas present. And yes, I did open it. It made for very good reading, yes indeed.
He glances down at Kara and they both exchange smiles.
MILLICENT: What's going on here?!
KARA: Millicent, would you like to be my maid-of-honour?
MILLICENT: What?!
BLACKADDER: Her maid-of-honour. I've asked Kara to make me the happiest man in London by becoming my bride, and she said yes.
KARA: And since you brought us together, the least I could do is ask you to be my maid-of-honour at our wedding.
BLACKADDER: I can see Millicent is still in shock over hearing our good news. Millicent, dear, why don't you think it over and get back to us?
MILLICENT: B-but, you're so much older than Kara!
BLACKADDER: Yes, and I love the idea of having a child bride. Especially one so lovely and delightful. Kara is everything I could possibly want in a wife.
He takes hold of Kara's hand and kisses it.
BLACKADDER: Come along, my dear. Let's have lunch. I know this lovely restaurant down the street.
KARA: Oh, but I have my geometry class in a few minutes.
BLACKADDER: I'll write you a note. Let's go.
KARA: All right! (smiles and leaves)
Millicent stares at the two of them walking away.
KARA: I love you, Ebenezer Blackadder.
BLACKADDER: And I love you, Kara.
THE END
Home
Where I got this cute Christmas tree background design