Xander burst into the Magick Shop in full fury. He carried Ellie, who'd wrapped herself around him like a kitten. Nate and Lys followed along behind, holding hands and looking terrified. Well, Lys looked terrified, Nate looked like he was trying not to be terrified.

The girls looked up from their books and Giles came out from around the counter. Spike reached for Ellie and the little girl was transferred from Xander to Spike without comment. She curled up around Spike just as she had around Xander, actions that didn’t go unnoticed by the others.

Spike reached a hand out to Lys and she hurried forward to bury her head into his shoulder. His eyes met Nate's and issued a welcome to him as well. Nate looked away quickly, uninterestedly. But he sidled over to Spike's other side and nonchalantly took a seat next to the blonde.

"What’s wrong, Xander?" Willow asked.

"My parents." Xander spat. He took a deep breath and rubbed his face. "My parents." He began more calmly. "I went to the lawyer to see if he could help me figure out how to take care of the four of us on my salary. He could have knocked me on my a-butt, with a feather when he told me that Aly had trust funds in place for each of the kids. There is one for each of them when they turn 21 and one for each of them to be turned over to their guardian in the event of Aly and Brent's death."

He began pacing. "Let's just say...it's a lot. No, it's really...a lot. Anyway. Apparently, he had the not so good sense to inform my parents. I went back today to talk to the man and I found his office had been robbed. The whole place was trashed. Fortunately, he'd taken the files on the kids home to work on."

"Xander, how do you know that the robbers were looking for the children's files?" Giles asked, watching the man walk in circles around the table.

"Because, today, I got a call from the kids. Someone was trying to break down the door to the apartment."

His statement was met with gasps. Lys pulled her head off of Spike's shoulder.

"There were three of them. They were really big." She whispered. "They kept beating on the door. I called Uncle Xander at work and hid with Ellie. Nate stayed in the living room to find out what they wanted."

Spike shot a disapproving glance at Nate, who turned red.

"Well, I wanted to know!" He defended himself. "And they told me. Grandma and Grandpa Harris want us back. Now that they know we have money, we apparently aren't such a burden. They hired the three men to break in and take us to them."

Xander flopped in a chair, finally. "By the time I got there, they were gone. Nate told them he called the police and they ran before they could get caught."

"Xander, that's horrible. Kids, I'm so sorry." Buffy said. "What are you going to do?" she asked Xander.

He shrugged. "I'm moving. I'd planned on it anyway. We need more room. I'll look for a house to rent and hope that they can't find me." He looked at Spike. "I also need to ask Spike a favor."

The blonde vampire looked up from the precious bundle in his arms. "Whatcha need, mate?" He rubbed his cheek on Ellie's head.

"I can't live on the kids' money." Xander said. "That's not right. I need to keep my job and only use their money when we are absolutely strapped. That means I have to be gone during the day. I can't leave them alone. What if Mom and Dad send someone else after them? They have to be watched at least until the guardianship paperwork goes through."

He took a breath. "Will you move in with us? Watch the kids when I'm not there?"

Spike smiled wryly. "Everyone else has a life, eh?"

Xander shook his head. "I trust you, Spike. I know, considering your past, that's probably damn stupid of me. But I trust you to do it for their sake." He nodded at the picture the four people he loved most in life made: Ellie held like precious china against an evil vampire's chest, Lys snuggling in the crook of a protective arm, even Nate, who'd inched sideways until he was pressed against the comforting hardness of Spike's side. "I think they do too."

"Yeah," Spike whispered, looking at the kids. "I'll take care of them." Damn Harris Clan.

_________________________

They fell into a routine quickly. Spike became a househusband and Xander was amazed to see that he was damn good at it. He seemed to know just what needed to be done hours before Xander could think to ask him. He had no problem into assigning chores to each of the kids, but he made time during the day for quality time with each child and arranged family activities for the evening so that Xander wouldn’t feel left out of the family loop.

He prepared meals, having breakfast ready when they all rolled out of bed like puppies and having dinner on the table when Xander walked through the door. He had the twins taking turns doing dishes and had taught Ellie how to sort and fold clothes. Xander didn’t know how he’d gotten around the never going out in the day issue, but none of the kids seemed to notice.

During quality time, he drew pictures with Ellie. Xander had taken to making the refrigerator door his first stop after getting home. Spike spent ‘girl time’ with Lys, talking about everything she was afraid to talk to Nate about. He learned what Brent had been like and mourned with Lys for the loss of her mother. He shared his stories of losing Angelus and Dru, abbreviated, of course. They talked about what made relationships and what made family.

 He found out that she was far too intuitive for her own good, especially when it came to reading though his commentary of Xander. She didn’t come out and ask ‘are you gay and do you want to shag my uncle’ but Spike didn’t mistake her thinly veiled hints that she wouldn’t be adverse to the situation if it were true.

For Nate’s time, Spike came out of the closet on his past education. He’d only shown the Cockney, street rat image for so long that Xander was astonished to see William sneak through in his conversations with the boy. Nate was proficient in Spanish, French, and some German and expressed a desire to learn more. Spike spoke Spanish, French, German, Italian, a dozen demonic languages, and Latin. He offered to teach the boy Latin and had a plan to teach him some demonic languages under the guise of tribal languages.

Xander couldn’t remember every seeing Spike smile so much. He was elated to see that Spike was helping them work through the loss of their parents; not letting them forget and move on, but rather recall fondly the memories. The kids didn’t seem to even think about their grandparents or the thought that Xander didn’t have the guardianship papers yet. They just trusted that they were safe and Uncle Xander and Uncle Wil would make it all work.

The scoobies came over every few days to see if they could help. Xander felt a surge of pride when Giles complemented him and Spike on their parental skills and another when he caught Buffy and Willow whispering in the kitchen about how much Spike had changed for the good since being around the kids. When they all sat down to watch movies for their dinner-and-movies-weekend, Xander had a realization.

He watched as his friends took over the chairs and the end of the couch. Willow sat on one end, Tara at her feet. Buffy sat in the puffy armchair with Dawn leaning her head on her sister’s knee. Giles sat in the other chair, the father figure personified. Xander took the other end of the couch, Spike sitting in between Xander and Willow. Ellie curled up in Spike’s lap and Nate and Lys leaned against the couch between their uncle’s legs.

He was happier than he’d ever been in his life. He was in his own home. He didn’t have to answer to his parents anymore. He had a job he loved. He was surrounded by friends who loved him and accepted him. He had his family. He had Lys, the incarnation of Aly, but a spirited beauty in her own right. He had Nate, a bright, sensitive cross of himself and Spike. He had Ellie, a joy he’d never expected. And he had Spike. His love, his friend, his partner. Granted, he doubted that the vamp thought the same of him, but he could tell that Spike felt something.

That realization sparked a flurry of change for him. He went out apartment hunting after work each day, looking for something that would hold them all comfortably. After two weeks, he had found the perfect place. It wasn’t an apartment. It was a two-story house not too far from Buffy’s. It had four bedrooms, two baths, a big fenced in yard and a huge kitchen.

He had a moral dilemma about using the kids’ money to stock the house. He asked Giles for advice and was treated to a 15 minute lecture on how if he was feeling guilty enough to ask if he were doing the right thing, then he was obviously doing the right thing; and was not that what the guardian’s trust fund was for? Making the children comfortable and wanting for nothing?

So, he put the down and the deposit on the house and went shopping. He bought bedroom sets for each child, another double bed for Spike that he planned on putting in his own room, and a new dining room set, big enough to fit eight comfortably. He bought a cd player each for Nate and Lys along with a cd stand in which he placed a $100 gift certificate each from Goody. He bought a computer plus computer desk for each of their rooms and another one for the living room.

He purchased games for Ellie and another couple of gift certificates for Nate and Lys. He bought a Playstation 2 for the living room and a couch and love seat combination so that no one would have to sit on the floor. He’d thought about chairs. They were so much more space smart, but he loved sitting next to his family. You couldn’t do that in chairs. So, they would just have to make do with less room.

He bought a swingset for the back yard, a mailbox for the front yard, an alarm system for the whole house and heavy curtains for every window in every room.

A week later, he told them where he’d been after work every day. Then he took them home. Nate just walked through the house touching things. He never stopped at anything in particular, and lingered in every room for an equal amount of time. The wonder on his face was amazing; and then, he reached his room. He went in, sat on the bed and just stared.

Lys cried. She cried when she saw her room. She cried when she saw the gift certificates. She cried when she saw Ellie’s room, and that it wasn’t in with her. She cried when she saw the huge dining room table and she cried when she saw Nate’s face. She went to sit by him. He stared, she cried.

Ellie hopped around the house like a bunny. She hopped into her room and bounced on her bed, and then her attention was taken up by the swingset in the back yard and she hopped outside to swing.

Xander followed Spike through the house, anxiously waiting for his opinion. Spike poked through the kitchen cabinets, looked at the appliances and ran his hand over the dining room table. He smiled at Xander.

“Plenty of room for everyone to sit and talk about their day.” He said quietly. Xander looked away. How the hell does he do that? Does he read my mind, or does he just know me that well?

Spike walked through the living room, looked at the computer, the game system, the couches. Another smile. “No chairs, I see.”

He glanced in Ellie and Lys’s rooms, smiled at each, and then moved on to Xander’s room. Then he stopped. He looked at the beds, then at Xander.

“There are only four bedrooms.” Xander explained, feeling the heat steal up his neck. “I thought it would be nice to let each of the kids have their own room. Neither one of us spends much time in the bedroom.” He could feel the full on blush. “So I thought that you wouldn’t mind having to share the room.”

Spike stepped forward and looked straight into Xander’s eyes. He seemed to be searching for something. Xander stopped breathing. Finally, Spike seemed to find what he was looking for, because he turned away and stepped back into the hallway.

“Sure, mate. Don’t mind sharing a room.”

Xander let out the breath he’d been holding and followed Spike into Nate’s room. He was a bit concerned when he saw Nate staring vaguely into space and Lys crying, but when he and Spike stepped into the room they launched themselves off of the bed. Lys threw herself into Xander’s arms, still crying, but saying over and over again, “Thank you, Uncle Xander. I love you.”

Nate slammed into Spike’s chest. He didn’t cry. He didn’t say anything. He just clutched desperately at the older man and trembled. Spike wrapped his arms around the boy and met Xander’s eyes over his head. A look of contentment passed between them, and they both hung on to their kids and just loved them.

_________________________

Two days later, Xander had another surprise. Aly’s lawyer finally came through with the paperwork giving guardianship to Xander. He presented the news to them as they sat around their new dinner table and talked about their day. The kids were ecstatic. Spike smiled and congratulated them but remained subdued for the rest of the evening.

Later, in their room, Xander finally braved his question. “Spike?”

Spike rolled over and looked at him across the intervening expanse between their beds.

“What’s wrong? Aren’t happy that the kids are finally ours?”

Spike briefly closed his eyes. When he opened them, he had a look of pain of the like Xander had never seen on his face before.

“They aren’t ours, Xander. They’re yours.” He whispered.

Xander sat up. “Of course they’re ours. Just because the paperwork has my name on it means-“

“Everything.” Spike interrupted. “It means everything, Xander. You are their guardian. You have the right to…to love them, to take care of them.”

Xander couldn’t stand the pain in Spike’s voice. He got out of bed and moved to sit next to Spike.

“You don’t need papers to love them, Spike.” He lay a hand on the blonde’s chest. “You don’t have to have a right to love someone. It just happens.” Isn’t that the truth? “I think loving them when you don’t have to says a lot about you. And a lot about them. They deserve your love. Your love is pure, untainted with anything but to love them for who they are.”

He cupped Spike’s cheek. “I think they are very lucky to have their Uncle Wil. I think they love their Uncle Wil very much. I also think Uncle Wil is as much their guardian as the idiot on the paperwork. And I think the idiot is very lucky to have him as a partner.” Spike smiled a tiny smile.

“You aren’t an idiot, Xan.”

“Don’t let it get around. I have a reputation to protect.” He grinned, and then knelt down by the bedside, taking Spike’s hand into his.

“Would you, William the Bloody…Spike, do me the great honor of becoming my co-guardian? To love and cherish those three kids, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, til they grow up, move out and only want to see us for their college allowance and to get you to do their laundry?”

Spike burst into laughter and spontaneously hugged Xander. “I was wrong. You are an idiot.” He grinned. “Go to sleep, whelp.”

"Oh, my God, that was amazing!" Lys bounced up and down in front of her uncles and her brother. Nate exchanged grins with Xander and Spike. "Have you ever seen a cooler movie, Uncle Wil?"

Spike shook his head, smiling. "Nope, Nibblet. Never in all my years." He looked fondly at her as she bounced down the street regaling them with tales of the glory of the flick they'd just finished seeing. He shifted Ellie on his shoulders as she tried to lean backwards.

So into the moment, it took Spike a second too long to realize that they weren't alone. Lys skipped down the road and bounced into a hard, large body that wrapped arms like steel bands around her, pinning her arms to her sides.

They stopped.

Spike counted eight. Five fledges, three who must have been older, because they weren't in game face. He glanced behind them. Shit. Seven more. He brought his gaze back to those in front of him and gently tugged Ellie down.

He pushed her into Nate's arms. Nate caught her up and looked in wide-eyed terror.

"Uncle Wil?" Ellie piped in. "What's wrong with their faces?"

The vamps laughed. Lys stood trembling, her eyes entreating her uncles to do something.

"Let the girl go." Spike demanded quietly.

More laughter. "Awful bossy for someone as outnumbered as you. Even if you are William the Bloody, Scourge of Europe." Derided the one who held Lys.

"Fine. You know who I am. Obviously you're here for me. Let the kids and the man go, and you can have me."

"No, Spike." Xander refused. "I'm not leaving you with them." He put his back to Spike's and faced the seven behind him. "Stake."

Spike smiled. Course he wouldn't leave. Stupid White Knight complex. Fine. He pulled a stake out of his pocket and passed it to Xander. If his hand lingered on the warm flesh for a second longer than it had to, oh well. They were about to get their asses kicked.

"Nate. Stay there. Keep a hold of Ellie. When Lys is free, I want you three to run like hell. Go to Buffy's." He pulled his own stake out.

"Let's do this."

He and Xander launched themselves at the vamps. Spike’s first target was the vamp holding Lys. He flew by him; turning at the last moment and kidney punched him. Grunting with pain, the other vamp stumbled. Lys did her part by stomping on his instep. A minor irritation, at best, but he'd obviously not been dead long enough to realize that.

He loosened his hold on her and she spun free of his arms. She flung herself towards Nate and Ellie and the three of them frantically looked for a way out to do as Spike had said. None was there. The vamps had them cornered. They huddled in a pile and watched in horror as the monsters attacked their uncles.

Spike grinned at Lys' spunk, and then jammed the stake in the vamps back when he'd ascertained that she'd made it to safety. He threw himself into a cluster of vamps, not realizing that his own game face had made an appearance. Kicking, punching, and whirling...he was like a black blur. Bodies flew and dust filled the air. He was having the time of his life.

Xander approached his opponents more cautiously. He waited until the first one made its move and then flung himself to the side. His flight seemed to confuse the vamps, who were expecting him to meet them head on like Spike. Uh Uh. Sorry. Frail human here. He tackled one of the confused vamps and rolled with him.

He pulled away and let the vamp keep rolling off of him. With a hard jab, he slammed the stake sideways into the prone body. It exploded in a flurry of dust. He looked up just in time to see another vamp taking advantage of his reclining position. As the vamp lunged down on him, he braced his stake on his chest. The vamp had a moment to look startled and shamefaced before it impaled itself.

He scrambled to his feet. He was being circled. As one, they leaped at him. Picturing a corny Saturday morning cartoon, Xander crawled out from under the pile, stabbing random body parts as he went.

Spike looked down at vamp number five as it whooshed into dust. Stupid bastard. He swung his arm backwards and caught the next vamp; the human faced one, right on the chin. It went down, but so did he. A blinding pain shot through his head and stars filled his vision.

He screamed in pain and staggered towards the last place he'd seen Xander.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He growled. "Xander? They're fucking humans!"

Xander kicked the vamp off of him and rolled to his feet. He saw Spike swaying on his feet, rubbing his temples. With a curse, he ran past the blonde. As he went, he pressed his stake against Spike's chest.

"Here, switch sides."

Spike shook the last of the pain away, though everything seemed really bright now, and charged into the four remaining vamps.

Xander took a running jump and his feet connected with the chest of one of the humans. With an oomph of air, the human was knocked down. Xander hit the ground too, but was up and moving in less than a second. He and the second human traded blows for a long minute, and Xander felt worry growing in the pit of his stomach.

He was taking too much time. The others were going to gang up on him any second now and he'd be down for the count. Sure enough, he felt a grip on each arm and he was pulled back away from his foe. The first two humans held him, squirming, as the third began to rain blows to his midsection.

He was beginning to see spots when the grip on his right arm was loosened. Then his left arm. Then his attackers were falling. What the hell? The man in front of him looked around, then turned and ran. Xander turned around wobbling and saw Lys and Nate standing behind him, Lys holding a metal bar and Nate holding a rusted metal car part. He looked down at his feet where the knocked out humans lay, and he grinned.

Spike turned all of his fury onto the last vamps. How dare they attack him when he was with his family? How dare they threaten his family? If he found one scratch on any of them, he'd resurrect them and kill them again. He felt curiously bereft when the last bit of vampire dust floated away on the wind.

He fell to his knees and gasped for air. Not that he needed it, it was just a reflex. And it made him feel more connected. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Xander crouch before him.

They shared a smile, which grew to a grin, which grew to a laugh. Xander plopped down in the street and looked behind Spike's head. "Are you guys okay?"

Footsteps, then a hiss of indrawn air. Spike glanced up. Nate and Lys were staring at him like they'd never seen him before. Ellie crawled into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and looked into her eyes.

She reached out a hand and touched his forehead with a very serious expression on her face. "Why do you look like the monsters?" She asked. Spike shot a horrified look at Xander and quickly shook his head, his features melting back into their human visage.

"Because I am one of the monsters, poppet." He whispered, a sick, cold feeling settling in the pit of his stomach.

Ellie stared at him a moment longer, then nodded and snuggled down into his coat. "Okay." she said. "I'm cold. Can we go home?"

Spike shut his eyes against the tears, fearing to meet Lys and Nate's gaze, and then stood up. "Sure, poppet. I'll take you home." He began walking, not looking back to see if anyone was following. Just holding the little piece of heaven he knew he'd have to give up as soon as he got her home.

_________________________

Nate and Lys watched them go. Xander watched Nate and Lys. They turned as one to him and stared. He smiled.

"Spike is a vampire." He said simply. The gig was up. No use trying to explain it away. They were too smart for any lie he could think of now anyway. "He's 126 years old. He has a chip in his head, implanted by the government, that won't let him hurt humans. He drinks blood, but only from a bag or from someone who offers it to him.

He can't hurt you. It hurts him every time he's violent with a human. He will blow away to dust if he's staked through the heart or if he walks into the sun. It hurts him to be touched with holy water or crosses or garlic."

"Y-you have had a vampire watch us to keep us safe?" Nate asked incredulously.

Xander looked at him disapprovingly. "No, I have had Spike watch you to keep you safe."

Nate continued to stare at him. Xander sighed. “Come on. Let’s take this conversation home. I don’t want to get jumped again by whatever the hellmouth has to offer tonight.”

He herded the flummoxed teens towards home, following the black duster in the distance. Ah, Spike. He winced. What will happen if they don’t understand? Will they be afraid of you? I don’t think you could take that. Will they hate you? I couldn’t stand to see your heart break over it. Will they never want to see you again? You’d still watch over them, I know. You’d be there in the shadows, killing anything that dared threaten your family. But then I wouldn’t have you either. And I think that hurts as much as losing the kids.

When did you sneak into my heart? When did I let you into my life? Was it when you defended three kids you’d never met? Was it the first time you held Ellie in your arms as though she were the most sacred of beings? Was it the first time we shared a parental smile? Doesn’t really matter. You’re here now. Ensconced so firmly in my life and my thought that I don’t know how I’ll ever get you out.

I don’t want you out. I want to be with you. I want to share every second of the day with you, with the kids. I want us to be a family. I need you. I can feel you tugging at my soul sometimes. When you’re sad, or lonely; I can tell. I don’t know how, I just know I need to be there for you. And you can tell when I’m wound tighter than I can handle. When I want to scream and beat my head against a wall. You know. And every time, you put a hand on my shoulder. You sit next to me and have a guy chat. You hand me Ellie to hold and go about the business of taking care of whatever frustrated me.

I’m afraid. I’m afraid to have you in my life. You’re an evil vampire. Right. Okay, being realistic, that’s just stupid. You’re a man. Yes, you are a man. And Nate has already expressed his feelings about a gay uncle. Could he handle his gay uncle’s a gay vampire lover? Probably not. And then there was the idea of your past. How could I hope to compete with 100 years of Drusilla? Or of however many years of Angelus?

They were beautiful. They were powerful. They had a part of you I could never touch. They inspired a devotion in you such as I’ve never seen before. How could I compete with that? What do I have to offer? I’m just the donut boy. No special witchy powers. No Slayeryness. Just Xander Harris. The guy who gets his ass kicked.

He looked up and realized that they had made it to the apartment. With a sigh, he went forward to meet his fate.

They found Ellie at the table, eating a pop tart and drinking a juice. Spike was quietly gathering his belongings together. “Spike?” Xander said. The vamp twitched, but didn’t look up. “I think we need to talk about this.”

Spike shook his head, stuffing a pile of t-shirts into the bag. “No, I don’t think we do Xander.” He replied.

He finished and zipped the bag up. Heading to the door, he found his way blocked by Xander. “Move, whelp.”

“No.”

“Xander, don’t make me move you.”

“Cause you’re such an evil vampire that you’ll do what? Ask me to move again?”

“Don’t start with me, whelp. I was the Big Bad for 100 years before I met your gang of scoobies and got chipped. I may be biteless, but I still have connections.”

“I’m not afraid of you Spike.”

“Yeah, well…seems to be the story of my life lately. Now move.”

“Please, Spike. Don’t walk out until we’ve talked about this.”

“Xander, what is there to talk about? I am a vampire. I am a killer. I am an evil fairy tale come to life. The kids are terrified of me. And if they aren’t, they should be. I’ve overstayed my welcome. Just let me go while I still have some dignity left.”

“I’m not afraid of you, Wil.” Nate said hesitantly. Spike turned his gaze to the boy. “I have to admit, I’m a little freaked out by the idea that vampires are real and you happen to be one of them. But I’ve seen you everyday for months. You’ve watched movies with us, you’ve taken us for ice cream, you’ve made funny shaped pancakes for us, and you’ve read bedtime stories to my little sister. I may be afraid of vampires, but I’m not afraid of you, Uncle Wil.”

Xander’s eyes filled with tears. He saw Spike’s ironclad will weaken. And when Nate stepped up to him and gingerly slid his arms around the vamp’s waist, he saw it shatter. Spike dropped his bag and drew the boy into a tight embrace. His eyes were squeezed shut and he looked as though he was trying desperately to keep his own tears in check.

“I love you, Uncle Wil. Please don’t leave.” Nate said against the blonde’s chest.

Spike drew in a shuddering breath. “I’ll be here as long as you want me, luv.”

Lys threw herself against her brother and each male freed an arm to gather her into his embrace. Xander smiled and put his hands in his pockets. Nate lifted his head and smiled through his tears. “Uncle Xander?” He whispered, and moved so that a space was opened next to him. Xander joined the group hug with a laugh.

A moment later, Spike felt a tug on his duster and looked down to see Ellie standing demandingly with her arms up. He picked her up and put her in the center of their hug. Everyone’s arms wrapped around her. They stood for long moments, just drinking in the feeling of being held by family. Had Willow been there, she would have seen a green glow surrounding them and faint green lines connecting them to one another.

They couldn’t see the glow, but they could feel it.

Spike had the same series of thoughts pounding over and over through his brain: Get home. Warn the others. Protect my family. He couldn’t see. The blood flowed into his swollen eyes and obscured any part of his vision he had left. He hurt in so many places that he couldn’t concentrate on any one in particular. He knew he was practically dragging his right leg, and that it had to be broken, but he didn’t have time to stop and set it.

He kept one hand firmly pressed against his stomach. The only time he had let go, a swarm of intestines had threatened to spill out and trip him. He was operating on instinct now. He followed the tug that said ‘home’ and hoped he wouldn’t meet up with anything else tonight. He knew he’d made it home when he turned the knob on the door and fell through with no resistance.

Blinking rapidly he looked around for Xander. He tried calling, but the only sound he could muster was a croak. He felt the blackness calling him and he fought it tooth and nail. But, in the end, it pulled him under.

“Uncle Xander!” Nate shrieked, racing to Spike’s side. Xander came out of the kitchen carrying a handful of silverware and a dishtowel. Lys and Ellie followed. Xander’s face went stark white as he saw his love collapsed in a bloody heap on the floor. He dove to his side and began running his hands over the vamps body to assess the damage.

“Oh Jesus Fucking Christ,” he breathed when he got to the belly wound. “Lys, take Ellie out of here. Nate, call Giles and the others. Tell them we need blood. Lots of it. A shitload. And tell them to hurry.” Lys tried to pull Ellie away, but the little girl just looked at her with a calm expressionless face and Lys felt something steal over her. She couldn’t identify it, but she stopped trying to take her sister away.

Nate raced to the phone and speed dialed Giles.

“Hello?”

“Giles! You have to come quick! Uncle Wil is messed up bad. Uncle Xander says he needs blood. Please…you have to hurry!”

“Nate? What happened? Never mind. How much blood?”

“I don’t know. Uncle Xander just said ‘a shitload.’”

“A sh-. Ah, yes…well. I’m on my way. I’ll call the girls en route to the blood bank. What is Xander doing?”

“I don’t know. He checked Uncle Wil out and I’d say, now, from the look on his face, the knife in his hand and the big cut in his arm, he’s trying to keep Uncle Wil alive until you get here.”

“Oh, dear Lord. Don’t let him give too much, Nate. If he starts to sway, or get really pasty, pull him off.”

“Okay, I will. Please…hurry.”

Spike. Oh, fuck, Spike. What happened to you, love? Who did this to you? I’ll gut them. I swear. Can you hear me? Can you feel me? Fuck, where is Giles? Please, baby, don’t die on me. You’re so gray. You look like ash. Does that mean you’re close to final death? God, no. Please stay with me, love. What can I do? Ow, what the hell is that? Oh, the silverware. I wonder…yes! A knife! I’ll keep you with me until Giles gets here, baby. I won’t let you go.

Fuck, that hurt. Deeper, deeper…gotta keep it flowing for him. There. Now open your mouth, love. Open and drink from me. Drink and live.

“Uncle Xander, that’s enough.” He vaguely heard his name. He did, however, feel the tugging on his arm. He looked up to see Nate’s worried face and suddenly strong hands jerk his arm out of Spike’s mouth. “That’s enough. If you give too much you’ll pass out and I don’t know what to do.”

He nodded; it seemed to take forever to move his head up and down. “He needs more, though. I’ll just rest a minute and then I have to feed him again.” Nate furrowed his brow and snatched up the knife. He had it dug into his flesh before Xander could wrap his brain around his actions.

“Nate! No! What are you doing! You can’t-“

“I can’t what? You can’t give anymore, Uncle Xan. And I don’t know how long Giles will be. Uncle Wil’s leaking it out as fast as you can put it in him. He needs more.”

“But you’re a boy. You don’t understand what you’re doing.”

Nate snorted. “I’m 15, Uncle Xan. I can make this choice on my own.” He paused for a moment. “Do you love him?”

Xander’s eyes went wide and then they closed, tears leaking out of the corners. “Yes.”

“Then why is it so hard to believe that we love him too? He’d die for us. We know that. He loves us. We know that too. He’s family, Uncle Xan. Our family. And I won’t let him die either.”

Xander just looked away. Nate finished the cut and shoved his forearm into Spike’s mouth. He could understand why Xander had to be pulled away. The blood loss made him woozy, but there was something else. He felt as though he was becoming a part of Spike. He was drowning in him. He could feel the vamps pain, his fear, and his love. He didn’t want to let go. He was angry when small hands drug him away.

“Nate. Stop. That’s enough.” Lys shook him slightly. She smiled at him, reassuringly. “You were fading out.”

Nate slumped. He looked at the belly wound and saw that the blood flow had slowed, but was still sluggishly flowing. Lys followed his gaze and bit her lip. With a look of fierce determination on her face, she held her hand out for the knife. Nate handed it to her, squeezing her hand. She whimpered a bit as the blade cut into her, and she couldn’t watch as her blood started to flow, but she held her wrist to Spike’s lips and felt him begin to drink.

She too felt the pull. Only she felt it from Spike, from Uncle Xander, and from Nate as well. She felt herself fall against Nate’s side and tried to force her eyes open. When she did, she wished she hadn’t.

“Ellie, no!” She tried to move forward, but tangled in Nate’s legs. They wrestled to unravel each other. Xander snatched the knife out of Ellie’s hands, but not quickly enough. She hadn’t cut herself badly, but there was a drop of blood clinging to her arm. With a serious look, she pressed the drop against Spike’s lips. Xander tried to stop her, but found he couldn’t move at all.

She moved away before Spike could begin sucking and deliberately took a place above Spike’s head. She pointed to Spike’s side and Xander scooted over, bewildered at why he was doing so. She pointed just below her position to the right and Lys crawled to there. She gestured to an opposing spot on the left and Nate took up that position.

The door flew open and Giles, Willow, Tara, Buffy and Dawn jostled for the lead into the room. As they stepped in, they stopped dead in their tracks. The green glow was back. Only this time, everyone could see it. It covered the five figures in the floor and the lines began to draw themselves. They went from person to person, touching each and moving on to the next, until they were all connected. Then, the line shot out and encircled the little group. They all jerked slightly, and then slumped to a prone position as the green dissipated.

Giles, Willow and Tara stared in awe at the sight. Buffy and Dawn stood and looked panicked. “What is it?” Dawn finally whispered.

“It’s a pentacle.” Willow breathed. “An absolutely perfect pentacle created by the life force of five people.”

Dawn looked again, tilting her head. “And what does that mean?”

As they watched, the green grew softer and faded away. Xander woke from his daze first. He took a moment to reassure himself that Nate, Lys and Ellie were opening their eyes as well and then turned his attention to Spike. His brow furrowed and he jerked the vampire’s shirt nearly off of him. He prodded Spike’s belly and ran his hand over his leg.

No, he wasn’t seeing things. The gut wound was no more. The flesh was gloriously unmarred. His leg was no longer broken. His face was pale and bloody, but there were no wounds. He leaned over the blonde’s body and tried to control his tears. He found he was fighting a losing battle and gave up when he felt Lys’s arm snake around his waist.

He began to sob; huge wracking sobs that shook his whole body. He wanted to reach out to the kids, to hold them and reassure them that it was all going to be okay. But he was pretty sure they’d think he was insane, telling them it was all hunky dory while bawling his head off. As he thought about telling them, he felt a strange tingle in his head.

He couldn’t identify it, but just as soon as he thought, /It’ll be okay/, Lys squeezed him.

“Of course it will, Uncle Xan.”

He lifted his head and looked at her in confusion. /But I didn’t say anything./

“What do you mean, you didn’t say anything?” Lys turned to him. “I heard you. You just said It’ll be okay. And it will. Ellie thinks so too.”

Xander looked at Ellie. She returned his gaze with a calm, serene, totally not a five year old look. /Uncle Wil is all better. We fixed him./

“Ellie?”

/We got put together. That fixed him. Now he’ll be okay./

“What does she mean, we got put together?” Nate asked. Xander’s head shot to him.

“You heard her, too?” Nate looked a little nervous, but nodded.

“I heard her too.” Lys volunteered.

“Willow?” Xander turned scared eyes to his friends. “What the hell is going on?”

_________________________________

Nearly 30 minutes later, everyone was curled up on a couch. They had hot chocolate in hands and were waiting for someone to tell them what to do. Nate, Spike, Lys, Ellie and Xander sat on one couch; Ellie in Lys’s lap, Spike sprawled across Xander and Nate. Giles, Buffy and Willow sat on the other, with Dawn and Tara curled at their feet.

Willow took a deep breath. “I really don’t know what happened.” She began. “I know what I saw. I know what I think it means. But why it happened? No idea.”

“So, just tell us what you think it is.” Buffy encouraged.

“They made a pentacle. A five pointed star with an encompassing circle. They made it with their life forces.”

She waved her hand in the air helplessly. Tara cut in.

“A pentacle is a symbol. Each point represents a part of the whole of a person. The circle forms a protective and completing part. It makes the pentacle, or the spirit represented whole.” She leaned forward and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from off of the coffee table. “Here, it looks like this…”

She drew a five-pointed star, surrounded by a circle. “This part,” pointing to the bottom left, “represents the element of Earth. It also stands for stability and endurance.” She looked up. “This is the position Xander took.” Eyes darted to him, but he only had eyes for the symbol Tara was drawing. “This part, the bottom right, represents fire, also, courage and daring. From what I could see, Spike took this position.”

She moved on. “The top right represents water, also emotions and intuition. Lys took this position. The top left is air. Intelligence and wisdom fall here. Nate took this position. The top of the pentacle is the spirit. It stands for the heart, the soul, and the divinity in a person. Ellie had that position.” She looked up from her drawing. “I think that the five of them created a bond. They created a connection to each other with their own life forces and each one of them took on the aspect most suited to them in the whole of the new entity they created.”

Giles wiped his glasses. “Are you suggesting they created a…thing?”

Tara shook her head. “No, not at all. Each person has a spirit. Each spirit can be represented by a pentacle. Some have stronger pieces of the pentacle. Some don’t have the completing circle. Some, practitioners of the dark arts, have perverted the pentacle into it’s opposite. In that instance, the spirit is on the bottom and each corner represents the…well, to be frank, the rape of that which it represents.”

She smiled. “I just think that each of them took their strongest piece of their own pentacle, and merged it with the other four. I think the love and protectiveness that they each feel for each other created the circle. They were five separate, lonely entities. Now they are bound into one content entity.”

Everyone still looked confused. Willow sighed. “You saw how they could hear each others thoughts?” Nods all around. “And how, when they mixed their blood and wanted more than anything to heal Spike, he healed?” More nods. “They took the strongest parts of themselves and threw them into the middle of the table. The parts found each other, bonded to each other, and created a new vessel to reside in. They are each a human…well, human and vamp, vessel like they always were. But together, they have formed a new vessel that is five times as strong as any one of them. And they are all connected to it.”

I was pretty sure that Lys was about to kill me. When the bond was formed, we began to experiment. We realized pretty quickly that whoever had donated the piece of the pentacle to the bond got the brunt of the ‘stuff’ that went along with it. I’m talking mainly about the emotions. Anytime a strong emotion leaked, it leaked the worst into Lys.

I suppose she wouldn’t have minded so very much if the emotions were pleasant. She enjoyed actually feeling how much we loved her and the others. She even developed a new liking for the scoobies once she felt how much I loved them. However, she got the brunt of what I felt for Spike also.

What I felt for Spike. How simple to say, how desperately complicated to feel. He was still angry that we could have died feeding him. The benefits didn’t seem to phase him. He was stuck on the ‘we could have died’ argument. And because I was the adult, like that had any damn thing to do with what Nate or Lys or Ellie decided they wanted to do, I was responsible for everything.

As pissy as he was, it was probably my fault the earth was round, too. So, I kept leaking all this unrequited love through to Lys, along with horrible guilt and overwhelming sadness that I’d lost any chance of being with him for good. It sounds so blasé. But, my God, it hurt. He filled my every thought. I stared at him like a dying man in the desert. He was the unattainable drink of cool water.

I remembered all the times we touched, even for a moment. When we’d slept together, when he’d touched my hand as he handed me the stake that night, how he’d hugged me when I offered him a co-guardianship. I could feel him burned into my skin like a brand. I craved more. It was like a tangible loss, his refusal to speak to me. I didn’t understand. It was like he hated me. I cried myself to sleep every night, knowing he was only a few feet away from me. But those few feet stretched like miles.

He ghosted around the house, doing daily chores, taking care of the kids. I went to work, came home, and spent time with the kids. We didn’t do family things anymore. He always had something to do, somewhere to go. The final straw for me came the night that we invited the scoobies over for dinner and movies. Spike cleaned the house that day while I was at work, and whipped up batches of munchies.

He had dinner started when I got home and soon after the scoobies began piling in the door. Dinner was amazing. Of course when I mentioned it to Spike, I just got an expressionless stare. Two second later, when Dawn echoed my sentiment, she got a smile and a blow by blow of one of the funnier things that had happened while cooking.

I took the hint and slunk off into the living room to start the movies. Buffy followed me and kept giving me worried looks. As soon as she opened her mouth, I placed a finger on her lips. “Please. Let it go.” I whispered. She frowned, but nodded.

Soon we were all piled onto the couches. Giles, Willow and Buffy on the couch, Dawn and Tara at their feet. I had the end of the couch, Lys was next to me. She held Ellie and Nate took the other end. When Spike walked into the room, Nate smiled and scooted to the floor. Surprisingly, Lys scooted down to take over her brother’s spot. That left the only opening next to me.

Spike looked at me for a long second, and then glanced at Lys. “Shove over, luv.” He said.

She shook her head. “I’m comfy, just sit in the middle.”

Spike stared at her. She met his gaze with her own and something passed between the two of them. Finally, Spike turned and headed to the hall closet. Pulling out his duster, he flung it around his shoulders. “Later, all.” And the door shut behind him. I could feel their eyes. Every set of them, trained on me. I couldn’t meet any of them. I could feel the sting of tears begin and knew all it would take was a comforting word or a commiserating glance.

So, I pushed play and stared at the screen, seeing only a pale face full of…nothing; no emotion, no sign that I mattered one way or the other to him. I couldn’t help it. I felt one tear burn its way down my face. Its exit signaled the tidal wave. So I sat; stoically staring at the movie I didn’t want to watch, feeling hot tears cut paths down my face, hoping everyone was watching the movie.

Lys reached over and snatched the remote. She angrily shut the TV off and threw the remote across the room. Settling Ellie on the sofa she turned to glare at me. “Well?” she demanded.

“Well what, Lys?” I replied closing my eyes. So much for hoping no one would notice.

“Well, when the hell are you two going to say something to each other?” She jumped up and began pacing. “You two are in my head constantly. Both of you keep trying to hide from me, so all I get are angsty feelings and despair. It’s beginning to piss me off.”

Xander looked up at her. “I really think this isn’t the time or place for this Lys.”

“No, I think it is, Uncle Xan.” Nate surprised him by butting in and standing up to be at his sister’s side. “Unlike Lys, I can’t feel either of you at all. It’s like you both live in some emotional soup, neither one of you really thinking at all.”

“Kids, we have company.” Xander said carefully. “Can we not do this now, please.”

“No! If we don’t do it now, you’ll find some reason to ignore us later. Now what is going on?”

Xander dropped his head back against the couch. “Nothing is going on Lys. Literally. Spike is still pissed that I let you feed him. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with me because I let you get hurt.”

“Bullshit.” Lys snapped. “I don’t feel anything like that. When he gets all angsty, I don’t feel anything towards us. I know he was pissed for a while. I felt that loud and clear. But he was actually pissed at us for taking advantage of the fact that you were out of it to do what we wanted. I got that little lecture. That has nothing to do with this.”

Xander laughed harshly. “Great. Then he hates me for something I can’t even figure out. Wonderful. That makes this so much easier.”

“Why won’t you just talk to him, Uncle Xan?” Nate asked quietly. Xander reached up to rub his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“Nate, he doesn’t want me to talk to him. He wants me to leave him alone. He wants me to never speak to him again. He wants me to fall off the face of the earth.”

“What do you want?” Buffy asked. Xander’s head shot up and he wiped his tears away. Feeling like a bug on display, he drew his legs up under himself and crossed his arms.

“I just want my family back.” He replied. Buffy looked at him closely.

“No, I don’t think you do.”

Xander narrowed his eyes. “Really? And what do you thing I want, Buffy?”

“How long have you been in love with him, Xander?” She said quietly.

Xander flinched. “I’m not in-“

“Xander. How long?” She interrupted.

“I don’t know.” He whispered, closing his eyes again. “Forever? Since Anya left? Since he moved in? Since I was born? I don’t know. It feels like forever. It hurts like forever.”

He felt the couch sink and a hand take his.

“Xander, why won’t you tell him?” Willow rubbed her thumb across his hand.

He smiled, his eyes still closed. “Tell him what, Wills? Oh, hey, Spike. I know you’re a vamp, and I know you aren’t into guys, not to mention you’re only here cause of the kids, but I’m in love with you and I think if you don’t stop hating at me, my heart is going to break.”

“Yeah. That would work.” Xander’s eyes shot open. He felt the rush of adrenaline and a flutter of fear.

“That would work just fine.” Spike continued. Xander looked up. Spike stood in the doorway, duster still on. He had a strange expression on his face. One Xander couldn’t read, and he just stared at the brunette.

“Fuck.” Xander whispered, and jerked his hand out of Willow’s grasp. In one fluid move, he shot up off the couch and ran for the back door. Spike intercepted him. Damn vampire speed. Xander screeched to a halt before barreling into him.

“Where do you think you’re going, Pet?” Spike purred.

Xander started backing up. Spike followed. He followed Xander around the couch, stalking him like a large cat. Xander maneuvered so that he was mere feet from the doorway. Spike shook his head. Xander suddenly looked behind the blonde and his eyes widened in horror.

“Christ! Ellie!” He made as if to push past Spike to get to her. Spike spun around ready to vanquish anything that dared threaten his baby. He saw her sitting on the couch stuffing popcorn in her mouth. When he turned back, he saw the front door swinging closed.

With a grin he shook his head again. “Sneaky whelp.” And he followed.

______________________________

Xander ran like the hounds of hell were on his heels. He thanked every god he knew, and thanks to Giles, he knew a lot of them, that it was raining. Spike shouldn’t be able to track him as well in the rain. He had no idea where he was going, he just ran. Tears mixed with rain and eventually, he gave up trying to figure out where the hell he was, he couldn’t see anyway.

Finally, he stopped. Looking around, he laughed in disgust. How typical. He’d run to the cemetery. He leaned against a crypt and tried to catch his breath. “Fucking idiot, Xander.” He gasped. “Way to go, moron. Can you think of anything else you’d like to fuck the hell out of today?” He laughed and smacked his head on the cold stone. “Except for Spike?”

“I think that would be a pretty good start.” A smooth purr reached his ears.

Xander looked up. Spike stood in front of him, rain dripping off of his beautiful aquiline features. His blue eyes burned with something Xander couldn’t identify. “I’m sorry, Spike.” He whispered, hardly hearing himself. But he knew the vamp would hear. “I fucked everything up and I’m sorry. I promise I won’t ever say anything about it again. Just…the kids really need you. You aren’t going to leave are you?”

Spike hunched in front of the soaked brunette. “Why would I leave?”

“C-cause of what I said in there.”

“Do you think that bothers me?”

“I don’t know. Does it?”

Spike shrugged. “It bothers me that you told everyone else about it but didn’t tell me.”

Xander blushed. “I didn’t exactly mean to tell anyone at all.”

“Why? Are you ashamed?”

Xander looked affronted. “Ashamed? No! What the hell have I got to be ashamed of?”

“That I’m a man? That I’m a vamp? That I’m William the Bloody?”

Xander stared at him through the rain. He looked so vulnerable, hunched over in his leather duster, staring at his feet.

“I’m not ashamed of you, Spike. Any part of you. I just thought it would be easier if no one knew I…how I felt.”

“Why?”

“So I didn’t make you uncomfortable living with someone who lo-wants you.”

“Why do you think you love me, Xander?” He asked quietly. Xander laughed bitterly.

“What isn’t there to love?” He waved off Spike’s attempt to speak. “Fuck the past, Spike. Yeah, you were a real bastard. But, now…you love the kids, you put up with my friends, even like them sometimes, I think. You take care of us. You help the scoobies. You’re funny, smart, brave. You’re fucking beautiful. You’re so sexy I think I may have to buy bigger pants.” He smiled.

“I can’t help it. I can’t think of anything at all that would make me not love you, not want you. And it’s killing me. So, please. Just let it go. Pretend I said nothing; pretend that you mean nothing to me. I’ll try to curb myself, and we can move on, and hope that I haven’t fucked up our friendship beyond repair.”

Spike went breathless. No one had ever…ever…loved him like that. The thought of it caused a lump in his throat. His voice was hoarse with unspoken pain when he answered. “No. I don’t want to let it go. I don’t want to pretend you said nothing. And I truly don’t fucking want to pretend that I mean nothing to you.”

Xander eyed him warily. “Why not?”

“I have spent the last hundred plus years pretending someone did love me. Angelus, Dru…I wanted to be loved so fucking badly I could taste it.” He dropped onto his ass on the ground. “All I wanted was to have someone want me, need me, love me…for me. Not because they had a fucking Sire’s code, not because they were afraid there would be no one else to take care of them if I left.”

Xander knelt, unconsciously moving closer when he felt Spike’s pain. “I’m tired of lying to myself, Xander. I’m tired of pretending I’m something anyone would want to love. Now you tell me that you love me, and it’s ripping my heart out that you want me to pretend that I mean nothing to you.”

“No,” Xander breathed, reaching out to Spike. “No, please…that’s not what I meant. God, Spike, you mean the world to me. I just thought it would make you uncomfortable, knowing how I feel.” He crawled through the muck on hands and knees to his love. Kneeling between Spike’s legs, he lowered his head and buried it in the crook of Spike’s neck.

“I just thought you’d be angry with me, thinking I was trying to force you into something, that’s all.” He breathed into the blonde’s ear, nuzzling his temple. “Spike, you are everything…everything to me. I’m not required to love you. I don’t need you to do anything but be with me ‘cause you want to be. I want you, Spike, because you are the most sexy, gorgeous, desirable man I’ve ever met. I need you, Spike, to be with me, to share my life with me. I love you, Spike. I love you because I can’t imagine not loving you.”

He wrapped his arms around the vampire when he felt him begin to shake. “I won’t ask anything from you. I only want what you want to give to me. And if that’s just your companionship, I’ll treasure it every second of every day. I’ll live with you, no strings attached. I’ll never tell you I love you again if that’s what you want. But if it’s okay with you, I’d rather tell you every day how much I love you; tell you how happy you make me. Even if all I get out of it is a smile.”

Spike pulled away from him, looked him in the eyes. Oh, god the pain in those beautiful blue eyes. Xander felt tears stinging his eyes again.

“And you would never ask that I love you back?” Spike ventured. What the fuck am I saying? I love the boy…he’s my existence. Why do I need to do this? Is it some way to keep distance between us so I won’t lose so much when he’s gone? Why? I’m already pretty sure that I’ll take a walk into the sun if he ever dies. Still, he couldn’t help it

Xander smiled at him, love in every nuance of his being. “Never, Spike.”  The dark brown pools drew him in, offered safety, comfort…love. Unconditionally. Fuck it all.

“Okay.” He breathed. “I guess a smile once in a while won’t hurt.” He tried one now, and as weak as he knew it was, Xander’s face lit with happiness at the sight of it. Daft git, he thought fondly.

______________________________

When they walked back into the apartment they were stared at.  Xander smiled and shook his head. “What?”

“So what’s up with you two?” Buffy sighed.

Xander grinned at her. “I am in love with Spike.” He turned to the vampire and practically glowed when he was rewarded with a small smile. “And I have his permission to tell him so as often as I like.”

Willow looked expectantly at Spike. When he refused to meet her gaze, she narrowed her eyes. “And what exactly does Spike feel about all of this?”

Xander held up a hand. “Wills, I’m okay with him not loving me. He’s here. He’s with me, with the kids. He won’t leave us. He’ll let me love him without getting all wiggy about it. I’m all right with it. Really.” He smiled again.

Spike sighed at the looks everyone was giving him. Especially Lys. “What? Like it matters to any of you what I think? It never did before.”

“Well, Spike, that was before you captured the heart of our Xander.” Giles pulled his glasses off to give them a quick swipe.

“I’m not going to explain myself to any of you.” He glared. “I didn’t explain it to Xander, and I’m sure as hell not playing show and tell with my thoughts. We are okay with the arrangement. You should be too. Deal with it.”

He flopped down on the couch after removing his duster and reached for the remote. Xander grinned and settled next to him. Spike pushed play and everyone slowly filtered back to their seats. No one was happy about the ‘arrangement’ but they were willing to go along with it as long as Xander looked happy.

By the end of the movie, however, every one of them was back to being concerned. Spike wound up against Xander’s shoulder, Xander’s arm across the back of the couch. Xander absently played with a golden curl and Spike relaxed enough to lay his hand on Xander’s thigh. They looked exactly like a couple in love with each other. Not one in love and one all right with it. What the hell was going on?

Giles kindly agreed to watch Ellie, leaving the rest of the scoobies with an evening to themselves. Xander relented and agreed to let Lys and Nate come to the Bronze with them when Buffy told Dawn she could go. He was actually glad she had. He’d been concerned with the kids’ frames of mind since the bonding.

Nate seemed okay, but Lys seemed to be having a hard time dealing with the emotions that flooded her so often. He was sort of afraid to leave her alone, but didn’t want to tell her that. So, here they were, at the Bronze. They’d managed to get a table big enough for all eight of them, whether by force of numbers or the fact that Spike ‘had a word’ with the group of drunken teenaged boys sitting there.

It was a good band tonight. Xander could feel the bass and drums reverberating through his bones. Even Spike seemed to like the music. Currently, though, he was sitting at the table…alone…while the rest of them hit the dance floor. Willow and Tara were trying to dance as close together as the music would allow. Nate danced with Dawn. Both Buffy and Xander kept an eye on them while they danced with Lys.

Eventually, dehydration drove them back to the table and as they flopped down gasping for air, a new round of drinks was brought to them. Buffy gulped hers and smiled a thanks at Spike for ordering them.

“So, why aren’t you out there shaking your thang, Spike?” She asked after she became able to breath again.

Spike shook his head. “Sorry, pet. I can only dance three ways: ballroom-thank you to me dear departed mum, wrapped around someone and barely swaying, or having sex with my clothes on.”

Xander pictured rubbing all over Spike on the dance floor and blushed bright red. Buffy grinned slyly. “I bet you can’t dance at all, can you?”

Spike returned her grin. “What do I get if I prove I can?”

Buffy looked thoughtful for a moment. “Umm…a kiss?”

Spike looked startled. The girls giggled. Xander began a slow burn. He went from wanting to see Spike getting groiny on the dance floor to hoping he really was lying about knowing how to dance. After a moment, Spike grinned and stood, holding a hand out to Buffy. She took his hand and they went onto the dance floor.

Buffy began to move, but Spike jerked her up against her body. Her eyes went wide but then she grinned and let him continue. In another minute, she looked like she was wondering what the hell she’d gotten herself into. Spike had her pressed up against his body, so that every move he made, she echoed. Their feet were tangled together and Buffy had her head thrown back.

He was right. It really did look like he was having sex on the dance floor with her. Xander grit his teeth and increased his grip on his glass. Lys glanced in surprise at him and gently laid her hand over his. At her touch, a cooling balm swept over him, and the anger fled. In it’s place, a sharp pain took up residence. Lys visibly flinched.

On the dance floor, Spike and Buffy had drawn attention. At the introduction of three more female bodies into the press, Buffy wryly shrugged and pulled away from Spike. He laughed and one of the other girls replaced her. She made her way back to the table and waved the others onto the floor.  No one wanted to take her up on it, so she grabbed Xander’s hand and drug him with her.

She pulled him out to dance next to Spike and his ‘women’. He half-heartedly began moving to the beat. Spike grinned when he saw Xander next to him. He danced over to Xander’s side.

“Hey, mate.”

Xander half smiled, no matter how irritated he was, he could never resist Spike with a real smile on his face. “Hey, Spike. Looks like something else you’re better than me at.”

Spike grinned. “Hell, it’s easy. Here, lemme show you.”

Much to the chagrin of Buffy, who was left partnerless for the second time during the same song, and Spike’s women, who looked irritated, Spike slid into place next to Xander. With a sigh, Buffy left the dance floor again and sat back down. She and the others watched Spike teaching Xander and laughed at the infuriated looks the women kept giving them.

Spike began by showing Xander an easy hip roll. Xander felt like a complete moron, but tried it because Spike looked so honestly sincere and because he loved him enough to look like a total ass if it made the vamp happy. He mastered it quickly and then Spike moved on to a combination of forward and backwards hip rolls. Xander frowned as he tried to imitate the sexy blonde. He couldn’t seem to get the crossover.

Spike stepped in front of him and reached behind for Xander’s hands. He placed them on his own hips and thrust his ass backwards into Xander’s. “Like this, mate.” He demonstrated, letting Xander feel the slid of the blonde’s hips under his hands and the movement of hip against hip.

Xander’s breath caught, but he followed the vamp’s moves. He closed his eyes against the rest of the room. He had no idea if he would ever get to be this close to the other man again, and he wasn’t going to waste it by watching the other dancers eye them. In retrospect, maybe it wasn’t a good idea. His sense of sight supressed, the rest of his body became more in tune.

He could smell the vampire’s spicy sweat, the faint hint of leather and cigarette smoke and beneath it all…the scent of Spike. He felt the burn of Spike’s hands holding his own onto Spike’s slender hips. His fingers dug uncontrollably into Spike’s flesh, seeking a way to drag the vampire inside of him. The feeling of Spike’s ass rubbing up against his crotch was almost more than he could take.

Spike had no idea what the hell he was thinking when he stepped in front of the boy. He only knew that, in that second, he needed to feel Xander against him. He placed Xander’s hands on his hips and nearly shuddered at the picture that brought to mind: a naked Xander grasping his own bare flanks as Xander shoved his cock deep inside of him.

He began moving, his body coaxing Xander’s into the moves. Spike closed his eyes. Oh bloody hell, what was he thinking? He was on fire. Each of Xander’s fingertips burned a brand into his flesh. He was drowning in the boy.

Buffy and Willow stared openmouthed at the dance floor. Tara saw her girlfriend gawking and turned to look herself. “Oh…goodness.” She whispered. The picture that Xander and Spike painted was…erotic to say the least. Both had their eyes closed and were pressed closely enough that no light would have shown between them. Spike had his hands holding Xander’s to Spike’s hips but as they watched, Xander’s hands began a journey all of their own.

Xander slid his hands up and around Spike’s waist without realizing he’d even moved. He found Spike’s shirt untucked, probably from one of those women, but he wasn’t going to think about that now. Not when Spike’s naked flesh was so close to his fingers. He slipped his fingers under the cotton shirt and felt an electric shock zing through his fingers. He felt Spike jerk in his embrace and smiled.

His right hand continued up Spike’s chest, pushing his shirt with it, until he reached the blonde’s nipples. He gently placed a single finger possessively over one of them and pulled Spike into his chest. His left hand explored Spike’s belly. It found the light dusting of hair leading downwards and followed it to Spike’s waistband. With a wicked grin, he slid the tips of his fingers into the waistband, feeling Spike lurch, and forcefully pulled his hips backwards. He ground the blonde’s ass into his hardening cock.

Lowering his head, he breathed in Spike’s scent again and buried his face into the crook of Spike’s neck. A devilish thought occurred to him as he continued to dance, one with Spike’s every move. He opened his mouth, feeling Spike shudder at his breath ghosting over cool skin. With a chuckle, he sank his teeth into Spike’s neck.

The vamp keened a sub-vocal wail. Bloody fucking hell, what was the whelp trying to do to him? He knew that if he’d had breath, he would have lost it when Xander’s innocent questing hand found his belly. His eyes rolled back in his head when Xander’s finger took possession of his nipple. He lost all thought processes when his hand burned past his waistband. But this? Fuck, the boy was an inch away from being taken on the dance floor.

Lys wasn’t watching. That didn’t mean she wasn’t paying attention. When Xander bit Spike, she wailed as well. All eyes at the table turned to her questioningly. “Lys?” Buffy asked. “What’s wrong.”

Lys couldn’t speak. “It’s too much for her, I think.” Nate answered for her. “I can feel them too, and I know if I can, she’s probably drowning in it.”

The girls looked confused. Nate sighed. “Uncle Xan and Uncle Wil. They’re horny as hell.” The girls blushed and snuck glances back at the two men.

“I-it’s not j-just that.” Lys gasped. “Uncle Xan is…he’s so close to losing himself right now. I-he wants Spike so much right now. Watching those girls and even Buffy touching him made me-Uncle Xan so very frustrated and angry. Now that I-he has Spike in my-his arms, pressed up against me-him, I just want him so fucking bad.” She slammed her fist down onto the table not noticing the looks the girls gave each other.

“And Uncle Wil. Oh god, I never thought I-he had that much willpower. I’m-he’s on fire. He’s never touched me-him like this before. He’s been so determined not to drive me-Spike away. Fuck, the whelp is intoxicating. I could happily drown in him, his scent, the feel of his body pressed against me. Fuck, 126 years old and I have a fucking teenager burning me into a fucking puddle of want and need. Oh, yes, Xan. Jesus, don’t let me go, don’t stop touching me.”

“What the fuck am I doing? I promised not to push! I’ve got to stop. I’ve got to let go.” Lys moaned. “Nonononononono, can’t let him go. I’ll never get him back. Tomorrow I’ll just be stupid fucking Xander. He’ll try to pretend this didn’t happen and I’ll spend the rest of my fucking life aching for him. Okay, letting go now.”

“Noooooo! Fuck, Xander, don’t stop! Stay with me, staystaystay…bloody hell, thank you! I know I told you I didn’t want that, I know I’m a lying bastard, but with you holding me like this, I can forget that tomorrow I have to go back to hiding. Fuck I want to kiss you, taste you, fuck you into a wall. Nonono. Too fast. Stopstopstop. You’ll lead him on. He’ll think you just want him for sex. Fuck Xander, if only that were it.”

Lys’s voice broke. “Forever, Xan. I want forever. I want to feel you just like this, forever. Pressed against me, warm…hot…alive. Fuck, my perfect reason to leave you alone. What happens when you get old, whelp? When you die? I can’t turn you. I’ll lose you. You’ll leave me. You’ll leave me. Fuck this. Sound like my poncy sire. Oh, Angel, I’m so sorry I ever made fun of you if this is what you felt for Buffy. Fucking ache…Stopstopstop! Just be with him now. Just feel him. Try to pretend this will last forever. Fuck, I love you, Xan.”

“I wonder if they can put this song on continual play? I wonder if continuous play could last forever? Or at least til I die. I wonder if I could get him to turn me? He wanted to turn Willow. Maybe…or I could get Angel to turn me. Yeah, and I could spend the rest of eternity looking for a way to make him want me like I want him. What a fucking joke I am. All that shit I gave Buffy and here I am…in love with my own vampire. Fuck.”

Lys began to cry and Nate grasped her hand. A strange look passed between them and she seemed to snap out of whatever thing she’d been in. She blinked slowly and looked around the table at the astonished faces. “What?”

“Lys, do you know what just happened?” Willow asked, a concerned note in her voice.

Lys furrowed her brow. “What are you talking about?”

The girls exchanged looks. “Lys, I think you just channeled Xander and Spike’s thoughts.” Willow continued. Lys looked amused.

“That must have been pretty hot, then.” She laughed, and then stopped when no one joined her. “What?”

“Lys, if that was really what they were thinking…” Tara began.

“We totally have to do something.” Buffy finished.

Dawn grinned. “So, no more Spike is the bad guy?”

Buffy sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe he is still a bad guy. But look at him with the kids. Look at him with Xander. And if half of what he was saying is true…” she winced. “I haven’t heard so much pain since…” her voice died away.  “We have to do something.”

>

The trip from the Bronze to Giles’ was made in silence. Nate and Spike sat in the car while Xander and Lys went inside to get Ellie. Spike stared through the windshield into the night, lost in thought. Nate stared at the vampire’s profile in the front seat.

“Uncle Wil?” he asked softly, and even then, he saw the older man start slightly.

“Yeah, Nate?” came the quiet reply.

“Why won’t you tell Uncle Xander that you love him?” Silence met his question. It was different than the first companionable silence. This was heavy, fraught with unspoken pain and uncertainty.

Just as Nate thought his uncle wasn’t going to answer him, “It’s complicated, boy.”

“Why? Why does it have to be complicated? He loves you, you love him.”

Spike turned in his seat and blue eyes sought brown ones. Nate refused to be cowed by the warning in the cerulean depths. “So, how long have you been in love with him?” He asked defiantly.

The corner of Spike’s mouth turned up in a smirk. Ballsy little git.

“What would you like me to say?”

“The truth would be nice.”

“The truth.”

“Yes.”

“You want the truth. You want to know when I realized that the tight feeling in my chest every evening would only dissipate when I heard his goofy voice or saw for myself that he hadn’t bee hurt on patrol the night before. You want to know when I realized his touch sent shivers down my spine. You want to know when I decided that I was going to kill Anya the next time she demanded what he couldn’t give.”

He took an unneeded breath. “You want to know when I decided to snap the neck of the next person who brought that wounded puppy look to his eyes. Or the pages of horrible poetry I have stashed in a hole in my crypt that rave on about his chocolate eyes, and his musical laugh. How about the first time I had a nightmare about him dying that was so real I curled into a ball and trembled on my bed for an hour.”

Nate reached a hand out to the vampire. With a wry smile, Spike took it. He looked down at their joined hands. “I’ve wanted him since the first time Angel offered him to me. I’ve liked him since the first night I spent in his basement tied up in that awful chair. But you want to know when I realized I loved him. That I can’t tell you, Nate. There was no moment of truth, no lightening bolt.”

He laughed and rested his cheek on the car seat. “He crept under my skin and into my heart bloody stealthily, he did. So slowly that I feel like I’ve always loved him. So, I suppose the edited version of the answer to you question would be: I don’t know.”

Nate smiled, trying not to cry. “He loves you too, Uncle Wil.

“I know, luv.” Spike smoothed an unruly curl down on Nate’s head and then turned back around in his seat to resume staring out the windshield. “I know.”

_________________________________

Xander and Spike diligently avoided each other for the next week. Even the briefest of glances seemed to start a raging fire in each of them; a fire that Lys seemed to pay for. Xander was horrified to hear about the channeling at the Bronze and vowed not to do anything that would wrest control of Lys’s emotions from her again.

Spike was concerned as well, but he went looking for a solution. He asked Willow and Tara to start working with Lys on control and on blocking. He poured himself into house husbanding while Xander worked overtime at the construction site. He had thought he was doing well until Willow showed up at the house one day while the kids were at school and Xander at work.

He opened the door to a frowning Willow and stepped back from the sunlight to let her in. “Wot’s u, Red? Xan and the kids aren’t here.”

Willow fixed him with an unreadable look. “I know. I came to talk to you.”

Spike raised an eyebrow, but gestured towards the kitchen with his chin and then walked in himself. He poured her a cup of coffee and slid a plate of cookies in front of her before taking his own seat across the table from her. She stared at the cup and the cookies for a moment and then giggled.

“Wot’s so funny, Red?” Spike glared. She waved a hand in front of her face and shook her head.

“Still working on the domesticated bliss floating around.” Spike growled but Willow noticed that it seemed half hearted at best. She apologized by biting into a cookie.

“I’m here to talk about the pentacle.” She said around a mouthful of chocolate chip. “I’m a bit concerned with the stability of it.” Spike leaned forward, a frown furrowing his brow.

“Are the kids in danger?” He demanded.

Willow hid another smile. “I don’t really know.” She put the cookie down and took a long measuring look at him. “I’m going to talk about things you probably don’t want to hear, Spike. I’d appreciate if you let me finish and give me some honest answers with out getting all defendy-like.”

Spike sighed. “Did you all get together and decide to badger me one at a time until I broke?” He sighed again at the bewildered look on her face and nodded.  “Normally I’d tell you to piss off. But if it concerns the kids, I’ll try not to get defensive. Best you’re going to get, Red.”

Willow nodded and scooted her coffee out of the way. “We all know you want Xander. And that Xander wants you.” She frowned. “Well, maybe everyone but Xander knows that, but you get my point.” Spike chuckled and received an answering smile from the witch.

“You have a natural bond with him. You have a bond with all the others too. The energy flows through you all, linking you to each other and forming the pentacle. You are connected to each person through it.” Spike nodded and waited for her to continue.

“Normally, the energy would flow smoothly from person to person with no problem. However, it seems to have developed a hiccup.” Spike raised an eyebrow.

“A hiccup?”

Willow nodded and scooted to the edge of her chair. I can see it when you are all together and feel it when I’m helping Lys with her shields. She’s having a hard time adjusting her shields. The idea was to form a thickened cushion around her, not cutting her off from the bond, just softening up the impact a bit.  That works, but there’s a problem.”

“So, wot’s the problem, Red?”

“To be frank, Spike, you and Xander are the problem.” Willow stood and began pacing, waving her hands in front of her. “She can’t regulate with you and he surging all over the place.”

Spike glared. “What the hell does that mean?”

“You want each other. For some reason unknown to anyone else, you won’t admit it.” Willow returned the glare. “That hurts him, Spike. Every time you are together, you surge emotions through the bond. ‘I want him.’ ‘Stay away from me.’ ‘I’m guilty.’ ‘I don’t deserve him.’ ‘I want to fuck him through the floor.’” Spike started at Willow’s language.

“You know, those kinds of emotions.” She stepped closer to him and poked him in the chest. “Lys can deal with a steady stream of emotions. You two are on some emotional roller coaster from hell and she can’t hold the shields against you. Also, you two are the bases of the pentacle. Xander is stability and you are protection. Neither one of you is doing his job. Xander is on the verge of a breakdown and you are so busy protecting yourself that you haven’t even noticed that the kids are shouldering the burden of the bond!”

She wound up in his face, inches away from death if he had wanted to sink fang into her. Instead, he blushed and dropped his gaze.

“Sorry, luv. I didn’t know.” He said huskily.

Willow sighed and then did the unexpected. She threw her arms around Spike’s shoulders and hugged him. He tensed for a moment, then Willow felt arms steal around her waist, and she smiled.

“I know, Spike. I also know you would never hurt the kids or Xander intentionally. But you have to talk this out with him.” She pulled away to look into his eyes. How strange that an evil killer should have such beautiful, worried, contrite eyes, she thought.

“Please?”

Spike nodded. “Give me some time to think about what needs to be said. I’ll do it before the week is up.” Willow nodded and smiled.

“Good. And thank you, Spike. So, how do you get your cookies to stay soft like this?”

In looking at the situation later, neither Xander nor Spike knew which one hit the door first. They only knew that they reached the living room at the same time. Ellie lay on the couch curled into a ball, howling. Lys and Nate knelt by her side. Nate had a hand on Ellie’s back, but was looking with concern at Lys, who was holding her head and rocking.

Xander skidded to a halt and dew Lys into his arms. Spike landed on the couch and did the same with Ellie. He glanced at Nate inquiringly. Nate shook his head and ran his fingers through his little sisters hair worriedly.

Xander rocked Lys in his arms, whispering soothing nothings to her. He felt a tingle begin in the back of his head and traverse through his body as though he had the chills. A feeling of terror crept over his flesh, worse for it not being his own, and just as quickly sloughed off of him, dissipating into nothing. As the feeling swept over him, he felt Lys calm considerably. Just as the last of the hair-raising feelings went away, Lys looked up at him in confusion.

“Uncle Xan?” she asked in a tiny voice.

“I’m here, Lys. It’ll be okay.” He kissed her forehead. “Can you tell us what happened?” Lys looked over at her sister, held in Spike’s arms and crying her eyes out.

“We were watching TV and she just started screaming her head off. She wasn’t asleep, we weren’t watching anything scary. I don’t know, Uncle Xan.” Her voice started to get frantic again and Xander felt the tingle begin. This time the feeling was panic, but it too sloughed off like water and Lys was back to a semblance of calm.

Spike was having a harder time with Ellie. She wouldn’t stop howling and squirming. Finally, Spike pinned her to the couch and shouted her name.

“Ellie, look at me!”

Waterlogged brown eyes met his. The pain in them was immense. He felt a strange twisty feeling in his gut and for a moment, he thought he might fall into them. The moment of vertigo passed and Ellie was silent, staring at him in a vacant way.

“You need to calm down, luv. We’re here. Nothing will hurt you now. You need to tell us what happened.”

Ellie nodded like an automaton. Spike cautiously let her up. As soon as he broke eye contact with her, she tensed up, and began crying again. This time, they were the tears of a scared 5 year old. They were normal.

Spike rocked her until she stopped crying. “What happened, luv?”

Ellie drew in a shuddering sigh. “I saw bad things happening to us.”

Spike and Xander exchanged worried glances. “What kind of bad things, sweetie?” Xander asked.

“I saw Nate. He was in a room with bars on the window. He was yelling bad words and throwing things. I saw Lys. She was standing on the sidewalk. There were lots of different colored lights around her. She was wearing a dress that was really short and lots of paint and she was fat. But only her tummy. I saw me. I was hiding in a box in an alley. I was hungry and scared and lonely.”

Tears came to her eyes again and Spike began rocking her again. “I think we should call the witches.”

Xander nodded.

____________________________________________

“So, you think it was a prophetic dream?” Xander summarized after nearly 10 minutes of Willow babble.  She looked at him with a ‘duh’ look on her face.

“That’s what I just said.” Spike and Xander shared an exasperated smile.

“So what does it mean?” Spike asked. “Why would the bit have a vision about Nate in jail, her living on the street and Lys turning into a loose skirt?”

Willow shrugged, frowning. “I don’t know. I really don’t know much about visions. But I know someone that does.”

Xander groaned. Willow grinned.

“She’s our best shot at figuring out what’s going on, Xan.”

“I know.” He sighed. “I just really don’t want to spend the next week listening to her slam my clothing choices.”

Spike snorted. “How about I start slamming your clothing choices now, and by the time she gets here, you’ll be prepared?” The room erupted into welcome laughter as Xander stuck his tongue out at Spike.

____________________________________________

“So, we are driving to Sunnydale to help Xander’s niece.” Angel repeated.

“Mmm hmm.” Cordelia answered as she changed lanes.

“Because Xander is now the guardian of the girl as well as two others.”

“Mmm hmm.”

“And Spike lives with them, taking care of the kids.”

“Mmm hmm.”

“And the gang thinks that they are in love with each other.”

“Mmm hmm.”

“And they are all tied into this magic circle thing. With each other.”

“Mmm hmm.”

“And Spike and Xander are in love.”

“Mmm hmm.”

“And Spike is taking care of them.”

“Mmm –“

“Yes, Angel!” Wesley cut in. “Yes, yes, yes. To everything you’ve asked for the last 30 miles and everything you plan on repeating in the next 30 miles. Do shut up.”

Angel obediently quieted, but both Wes and Cordy could tell he kept running the thoughts through his head.

____________________________________________

When the door rang, Buffy hopped up to answer it as Xander was playing Sorry! with Lys, Willow and Ellie. Tara stayed on the couch where she’d been talking with Buffy and Giles. Nate and Dawn were playing chess on the floor next to the stairs. She grinned when she saw Cordelia and the two girls threw arms around each other.

“Oh, my God!” Cordy squealed. “You’re hair is adorable!” Buffy preened and then showed the LA gang into the living room.

“Ah, welcome everyone. I trust the directions were adequate?” Giles asked, standing up. Wes stepped forward and shook his hand.

“Yes, very detailed. Thank you, Rupert.”

Angel hung in the doorway looking forlorn. Buffy kicked Xander in the butt and when he looked up, she jerked her head that direction. He nodded and stood.

“Hey, Buffster, take my place?” he asked. Buffy nodded and sat cross-legged on the floor in Xander’s spot.

Xander walked to the doorway, a smile forming on his face. Angel watched him warily, trying to figure out what was different about the boy. “Angel, hi!” He held out his hand. “Please, come in. You’re welcome here.” Angel stared at the proffered hand for a moment. Then his eyes met Xander’s and he searched for subtext.

Xander didn’t move. Even knowing what Angel was doing. He waited patiently for the vampire to take his hand. After long, careful seconds, Angel’s hand slid over the threshold and into Xander’s. They shook hands firmly and Xander stepped aside to let him in.

“Can I take your coat?” He asked. “You made good time. Dinner is almost ready.” Angel shrugged out of his coat and handed it to the boy. He watched as Xander hung it in a hall closet along with a denim jacket, a windbreaker, a leather coat, a child’s pink Powerpuff coat…and a duster. He knew without a doubt to whom it belonged.

Yet, there it was. Sitting next to the Powerpuff coat like it belonged there. He realized Xander was saying something to him and he drug his attention back.

“—in the kitchen. You can go in if you want. Just don’t taste test. He hates that.” Xander grinned and moved away to hug Cordelia. Looking around the room confirmed who it was that was ‘in the kitchen.’ He sniffed and followed his nose.

Pushing the door open, his senses were assailed. The smell of lasagna and cheese bread wafted around the room, as well as chocolate. Under the clanging of dishes, he heard a familiar voice humming “My Way” by the Sex Pistols. He spotted a golden head bobbing under the island and in another second, Spike came up holding a huge salad bowl.

He stopped dead as he saw his sire. Gently placing the bowl on the table, he stepped out from behind the island.

“Peaches.” He said huskily.

“William.” Angel returned, wondering how he could get something caught in his throat when he didn’t eat.

“Welcome to our home.” Spike grinned. “Want a beer? Or some blood?”

“Blood if you have it.” Angel nearly whispered.

“Sure, got plenty. Whelp takes good care of me, he does. Human even.” Spike bustled…bustled?…around the kitchen and set a large glass of gleaming ruby liquid on the counter in front of his sire.

“So, Peaches. How you been? Hand me the lettuce out of the fridge will you?” Angel found the vegetable and gingerly set it in front of his childe.

“Fine. Business is good.”

“Great! Glad to hear it.” Spike began tearing the lettuce up and depositing it into the bowl. Angel shook his head.

“What are you doing, Spike?”

Spike quirked an eyebrow. “Making a salad?”

Angel frowned. “No, not the salad. What are you doing here? In this house? With Xander and three kids, making dinner, acting like you own the kitchen, calling this your home? What are you doing?” Spike met his sire’s gaze steadily. Dark eyes. Beautiful. For years he’d happily have drowned in them. Now, all he could think was ‘Xander’s are prettier.’ And he smiled.

“I live here, Angel.” He said gently. “Xan asked me to move in to take care of the nibblets. I agreed. I keep up the house, the kids, the bills and meals, cause have you ever seen the whelp cook?” He gave a mock shudder.

“And what do you get out of it?” Angel challenged. Spike looked thoughtful for a moment. Then shrugged.

“Other than some blood and a warm bed to sleep in? I get to share my life with someone again. I get to help Nate with his homework, Lys with boy problems. I get to teach Ellie to read. I have someone to watch Manchester United with and share my worries about the kids with. I belong here, Angel. Please don’t try to screw this up for me.” Angel was stunned at the quiet pleading in his childe’s voice.

“Y-you actually want this?” He said incredulously. Spike laughed.

“Hell, yes I want it. Wouldn’t everyone?” Angel smiled.

“No, Spike. Not everyone would. As a matter of fact, 5 years ago, you wouldn’t have wanted it either. What happened? Was it the chip?”

Spike went back to shredding lettuce. “Don’t know, really, mate. Just felt right, I spose. Maybe it will stop feeling right tomorrow and I’ll go back to wreaking havoc. But for now, I’m happy.”

Angel grasped his childe’s face between his hands and searched his eyes. What he found made him smile. He leaned forward and gave Spike a gentle kiss on the forehead, then stepped away.

“So what else goes in this salad of yours?”

____________________________________________

The kids cleaned off the table, including Dawn and Ellie, and the Scoobies and the LA crew flopped on the couches and chairs in the living room.

“Spike, you are a bastard.” Cordelia groaned. “I have no idea how I’m going to fit in the clothes I brought.”

Spike laughed. “I’m sure you’ll manage, princess. If not, Buffy can always let you borrow something.”

He grunted as a pillow slammed into his head. He pulled it away to find the Slayer glaring at him.

“That’s for the fat joke.” She growled and made to throw another at him if he opened his mouth again.

He just looked innocently at her.

“So, where are you all staying?” Willow asked, smiling.

Wesley pulled his attention away from his former Slayer and her bleached bane.

“We haven’t actually looked yet. I suppose we should go find something. It’s getting late.”

“Oh, no!” Xander leaned forward. “You can all stay here. We have plenty of room. Ellie can bunk with Lys and Cordy can have her room. You and Angel can stay in our room, Wes. We’ll sleep on the couch.”

Wesley blinked rapidly. Spike grinned.

“There are two beds, Watcher.” He said.

“Oh. Well…oh! Then, if you’re sure we won’t be a bother?”

“Of course not!” Xander assured him. “No bother at all.”

____________________________________________

No, no bother at all, Xander thought, mentally smacking himself. Just that you now have to spend all night curled up next to the man you’re in love with and try not to do anything even remotely sexual for fear it will leak out to the kids.

He sighed and gently pounded his head against the wall in the bathroom. Spike was already out there and in bed. In bed. Wearing next to nothing. In bed. Where I’m going to be in a minute. With him. In bed. Aarrgghh! He thumped his head one more time for good measure and then, taking a deep breath, walked out of the bathroom.

What the hell were you thinking, Xander, Spike groaned into the pillow. A whole night next to you; feeling your warmth, your breath, hearing your heartbeat right next to me. I nearly jumped you when you were half a room away. What the hell am I going to do with you half a foot away? He listened to the strange thumping coming from the bathroom, and groaned again.

Xander finally came out, and Spike took the coward’s way out. He pretended to be asleep. He felt the bed sink as Xander climbed in and a draft under the covers as the man pulled them up over himself.  They lay in silence for long minutes. Finally, Xander turned over.

“Spike, I know you’re awake.” He whispered.

“Yeah. What you need, Xan?” Came the weary reply.

“This is really hard for me. I just wanted to apologize if I wind up groping you in the middle of the night or end up snuggling with you when you wake up.” Spike smiled into the darkness and turned over himself.

“I know, Xan. I think it’s bloody hard too. And I won’t mind at all if you do any of those things.”

Xander smiled sleepily at him. “I love you, Spike.”

Spike brushed a curl off of Xander’s forehead. “I know, pet.” He smiled back and brushed a whisper of a kiss across Xander’s lips before pulling the boy into his arms. It wasn’t really so difficult to fall asleep after all.

Angel woke to the most bizarre feeling. For the first time since his return from hell, he couldn’t remember where he was. For the first time in over 200 years, his first thoughts weren’t of a vampiric nature. He felt the soft bed beneath him, warmth seeping into him from somewhere. He smelled eggs and bacon. He heard laughter, male and female. He heard singing…Gaelic singing? For the briefest moment, he felt a surge of happiness. It was all a dream. He was home, in his bed. The cook was preparing breakfast. His mother, sister and brothers were in the family room singing.

There was no Darla, no death. No pain or guilt or hopelessness. Then he felt his demon howl in pleasure and he came completely awake, fighting an inner battle to keep it submerged. By the time he had wrested it into submission, a faint sheen of sweat covered his brow and he was panting though he needed no air.

He kept his eyes closed as he acclimated himself back to reality. He could still hear the singing, but it was not quite right. Some of the phrases made no sense. It was also being sung with an American accent, while one with a British accent laughingly interrupted with corrections.

The smells remained the same, but he finally placed the reason for the warmth against his side. He cracked an eye open and saw the littlest Harris watching him from her perch on the side of his bed. He opened both eyes and blinked owlishly at her. She giggled. Then she bounced forward and snuggled up against him, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

“Um…Ellie?” He struggled to remember her name.

“What?” she mumbled against his throat.

“Um, what are you doing in here?” And in the arms of the Scourge of Europe he added silently as he realized his arm had stolen over her tiny waist.

“Uncle Wil told me to stop sneaking bacon. He said to go check on you.”

Angel shifted so he could look at her face. “Spike is awake?”

Ellie gave him a look of irritation. “Uncle Wil” she emphasized, “ is cooking breakfast with Lys. They’re singing some weird song about she’s.” Angel looked befuddled for a moment and then snickered. Ellie looked offended. It was such a strange look to see on a five-year-old’s face that Angel snickered again.

“They are singing about sidhe’s.” He explained. “They’re like…I guess fairies or elves. They live in Ireland.” Ellie sat up.

“How do you know that?” She piped.

He sat up as well and leaned against the headboard. Ellie scrambled back up the bed and sat in his lap.

“Well, I’m from Ireland.” He began. “We have a lot of stories and songs about the sidhe in Ireland.”

“Like we have stories about vampires here?” Ellie asked innocuously. Angel froze momentarily.

“You know about vampires?” He asked carefully.

Ellie looked at him with a smug grin. “Uncle Wil is a vampire. But he doesn’t hurt people. He had a potato chip in his head. And he loves us.” Angel pinched his lips together to keep from laughing in the little girl’s face.

“Um, Ellie, sweetie…I think it’s a computer chip, not a potato chip.” He managed in a strangled voice. Ellie cocked her head, then shrugged.

“Whatever. So you know about vampires too?”

Angel nodded solemnly. “Actually, I am a vampire, too.”

Ellie’s eyes grew big. “Really?” she breathed.

“Really. I’m like Sp-Uncle Wil’s Daddy. I turned him into a vampire.”  Ellie practically bounced.

“You’re Uncle Wil’s Daddy? That makes you my Grampa!” she squealed.

Angel got the feeling he’d just done something really, really bad for his reputation.

“I don’t like my other grampa and gramma.” She made a face. “They’re mean. And they don’t like us. So, you can be my new grampa!” Angel tried to get a word in edgewise. He realized it was hopeless as Ellie began bouncing on the bed shouting ‘Grampa Angel’ at the top of her lungs.

What the hell have you got me into now, Spike? He sighed, and lay back against the pillow.

_____________________________________________

Cordelia raised an eyebrow as Spike pulled Ellie onto his lap and got comfortable. “So, princess, what do you need to know?” He asked, blowing a brown curl out of his face.

Cordy drew her attention back to the reason for their visit. “So, Ellie saw these bad things happening to her and her brother and sister?” Spike nodded. “And it wasn’t like a dream?” This time Ellie shook her head.

“I know what a dream feels like,” she said ultra seriously. Cordy met Spike’s gaze over her head and saw the blonde vamp hiding a smile. “This was more different. It was scary. Lys and Nate didn’t even see me. I didn’t see me either.”

Cordy frowned. “Could you hear anything? Smell anything?” Ellie got wide eyes and sat up straight in Spike’s lap.

“Uh huh! I could smell garbage around me and Lys.” She wrinkled her nose in remembrance. “I couldn’t smell anything near Nate, but I heard other boys yelling through the walls.” Cordy tapped her finger against her chin in thought.

“Well, it sounds like a vision. Visions tend to use more of the senses than just sight. They incorporate smells and sounds that a regular dream doesn’t have. Now about coming out of it…” She turned her dark gaze on Spike. “From everything I’ve researched and experienced, you can’t just stop a vision. You have to ride it out.”

“But you say you broke into the vision and pulled Ellie out?” Spike shrugged.

“Dunno. I made her look at me. I felt dizzy. She was just staring through me one second, and the next…she was back.”

Cordy shook her head thoughtfully. “No, you pulled her out. When you have a vision, you can’t see anything in the here and now. Just what the vision shows you. It sounds like something you did shoved the vision away and then she could see you. Have you ever done anything like that before?”

Spike shook his head and absently twirled one of Ellie’s curls around his finger. “Dru was always the one who did the mind games. She could hypnotize you into her eyes and do pretty much anything she wanted to you. Could make you see things, too. I never knew how she did it. Never really cared. I was always more of the…physical component of the relationship.” He edited his speech glancing down at the little girl.

“Do all vampires have the ability to do it and you just never learned?”

Another shrug. “I never met another one. I always thought it was cause Dru was touched in the head.

Cordy rolled her eyes. “Dru was nutty as a fruitcake.”

Spike shook a finger at her. “Watch it, princess. That was the love of my life for nearly 100 years.”

Cordy grinned.

“So, what can you tell us about this then?” He asked.

Cordelia’s smile slipped from her face to be replaced by a look of concern. “I really can’t tell you. It doesn’t feel like she’s touched by the Powers That Be, but I could be wrong. I always have visions about demons hurting humans, or great evil. So far, she’s only had the one; and it was about her and her family. I’ve never had one about myself.”

“Could be that her visions are tied in to this pentacle bond you all have together. I can’t be certain until she has another one.”

Spike looked decidedly upset at the idea of Ellie having another episode like the last one, and Cordy reached over and patted his leg. “We’ll stay until we get this fixed, Spike. I promise.”

He gave her a worried smile and began tickling Ellie, breaking the seriousness of the moment.

­_____________________________________________

“Spike, I’m going patrolling tonite. Wanna come with?” Buffy asked as she vaulted over the back of the couch to land at his side. Spike quickly lost Ellie’s attention as Buffy handed the little girl a cookie and stuffed another into her own mouth. Ellie scampered off before her uncle could chastise her for eating before lunch.

Spike rolled his eyes at the grin Buffy gave him. “I dunno, Slayer. I kinda think I should be here in case Ellie has another vision.” Cordelia’s brain took a moment to realize that Buffy actually looked disappointed.

“Um, I can watch her.” She heard herself offering. “And Wes and Giles will be here, right?”

Buffy perked up. “Right! They’re discussing some Hellmouthy slash LA thingy and just started on the dusty tomes. And Lys, Nate and Dawn are going to the movies with Will and Tara. Hey! Xander can keep Cordy company. I’m sure they have tons of stuff to talk about”

She gave Spike a pleading look. “Pleeeeaaaase?” She wheedled.

Spike heaved a long-suffering sigh. “Fine. But I know I’m going to regret this.”

Buffy squealed and hopped back over the couch. Cordy looked suspiciously at Spike.

“Excuse me for mentioning this, but doesn’t Buffy hate you?” Spike grinned.

“Mostly.”

“Then why is she so eager to go patrolling with you…alone?”

A snicker came from the blonde vamp. “She’s being stalked by a vampire.”

Cordy gasped. “Oh my God, like Angelus?”

Spike shook his head. “Naw. Not even close. Not really scary at all, actually.”

The girl looked confused. “So why doesn’t she just slay him and get it over with?”

Spike leaned in conspiritally and eyed the empty room before whispering, “He’s in love with her.”

Cordy snorted and covered her mouth quickly.

“He was modern artist before he was turned. He follows her around giving her flowers, candy, and horrible unrecognizable paintings and sculptures of her.” He leaned back. “He’s apparently ‘too sweet’ to stake. SO, she hauls me along for the ride and pretends we’re an item so he won’t pester her for ‘just one kiss’.”

“What is it with Buffy and vampires falling in love with her?” Cordy laughed. “Speaking of vamps who’ve been in love with her, have you seen Angel lately?”

Spike stood and held out a hand. With only a second of hesitation, she took it and let him lead her into his and Xander’s room. Angel sat cross-legged on Spike’s bed, toys scattered all over the floor and over Xander’s bed. He had Ellie in his lap and was reading to her from a fairy tale book.

The little girl alternately looked down at the pictures and up at Angel’s face with a tiny smile on her face. Cordy gave a small sigh at the picture they made. Angel looked up, startled. He got a sheepish grin on his face and he shrugged, going back to the story.

Moments later, he closed the book and kissed Ellie on the top of the head. “Come on, breagha, lunch time.”

“But I’m not hungry, Grampa Angel.” She whined. Angel tut-tutted her.

“You should have thought about that before eating the cookie Buffy gave you.”

“But she was eating one too!”

“And if Buffy ran out to play in traffic would you follow her?”

Ellie just crossed her arms and stuck her lower lip out.

Angel just hoisted Ellie into his arms and pushed past his secretary and his childe, deliberately ignoring their snickers.

____________________________________________

“Slayer, duck!” Buffy briefly wondered, as she dropped flat to the ground, why she was taking orders from a blood-sucking fiend who tried to kill her on several occasions. Then the two-headed demon flew over her head, slamming into the crypt behind her, and she rolled to her feet. Ask a silly question, she thought.

She faced her own opponent again, and saw out of the corner of her eye a whirl of black leather as Spike launched himself off of a headstone and on top of the recently airborne demon. She placed a foot squarely in her own demon’s gut and shoved him backwards into a remarkably pointy headstone.

She watched as if in slow motion, as green goo shot from the hole in the demon’s chest, headed unerringly towards her new $45 on a half-price-sale-blouse. From behind her, she heard a resounding crack. “Bloody two headed git.” Another crack.

Spike sauntered over, lighting a cigarette. “Nice, pet.” He mumbled approvingly from around the fag. “Bit of improv, I see.”

Buffy stared morosely at her shirt. “I hate demon slime.” She sighed.

Spike grinned and pulled a wadded rag from one of his many duster pockets. He tossed it at her and began heading for the cemetery gate. Buffy half-heartedly scrubbed at the gunk and followed. “Only one more cemetery and we can head home.”

“Home to our families.” She continued. Spike nodded, blowing a smoke ring.

 “Cause, they love us.” Spike tapped the ash from the end of the fag.

 “And we love them.” Spike placed it back between his lips.

Spike stopped. Sighed. Looked at the Slayer. She looked innocently back for all of 5 seconds.

“Fine.” She groused. “Do you love Xander?”

Spike’s teeth clenched on the cigarette. “I really don’t think that’s any of your business, Slayer.”

“Have you had sex yet?”

Spike’s eyes widened. “Now I know that’s really none of your business.”

“He loves you.”

Spike jerked the cigarette from his lips and roared his irritation to the night sky. “What the hell is wrong with you people?” He growled. “Why the bloody hell do you keep sticking your noses into business that isn’t yours?”

Buffy stood toe to toe with him. “Because Xander is my friend. I love him very much and I don’t want to see him hurt. For some reason, he loves you. I want to know if you feel the same!”

“I’m not discussing this with you, Summers. Xander and I have an understanding. If it’s not to your liking, well then, you can just bugger off.”  Buffy glared at him ineffectually for a moment, then hmphed, and turned on her heel to walk away.

“Bloody nosy bint.” Spike mumbled, flicking his cigarette butt into an entryway of a nearby crypt. He had just begun to follow her when he heard a muttered curse. Peering into the darkness, he saw a figure in the shadows of the entryway frantically brushing a glowing red ember off of it’s shirt.

As the figure looked up, Spike watched it vamp out.

“Bugger,” Spike sighed. That was all he got the chance to do however, as the vamp leaped out of the shadows and lunged like a feral animal at the blonde. Spike went down in a tangle of arms and legs with a huff of astonishment. He certainly wouldn’t have chosen to fling himself pell mell against a master vamp like that, but whatever rocked the other vamps world.

With a growl, he heaved the slavering creature off of him and flipped to his feet.

Buffy turned at the commotion and cursed under her breath. Then she hit the ground from a well-placed kick to her temple. She blinked rapidly rolled to the side and staggered to her feet. Slayer reflexes were all that kept her alive as she ducked the 2x4 swishing through the space her head had occupied a moment ago.

Spike shrugged his duster into a more comfortable position in which to fight and braced himself as the vamp rushed him again. He stiff-armed him and followed it up with a boot to the chest that sent the vamp flying 15 feet into a tree trunk. Spike frowned in disappointment as the vamp managed by 6 inches to avoid being impaled by a dead branch.

“Missed, Spike.” The Slayer snickered between snatching the board out of her own vamp’s hands and smashing it into his face.

“Piss off, Slayer.”  Spike’s lucky vampire slid down the trunk to sit dazedly at its base.

A movement caught his vision and he vamped out himself to use his improved night vision. Bugger all, three more.  Buffy finished off her vamp in a cloud of dust and moved closer to Spike, preparing to fight back to back. The new vampires circled them, snarling.

Spike felt a tingle at the base of his spine and snarled back. To his amazement, the three stopped. Their snarls fell away and a look of fear crept over their faces. Spike tilted his head and turned to look at Buffy. “Wot’s up with that, Slayer?” Buffy let out a tiny yelp and jumped away from him, her gaze locked on his eyes. Her own eyes grew huge and her face filled with terror. “Slayer?…Buffy, wot’s wrong?” Spike reached a hand out to her. She squeaked again and scrambled back, tripping over her own feet.

He stared at her prone form on the ground for a moment then turned back to the other vamps with a teeth-baring growl. “Wot did you do to my Slayer?”

A chorus of negative assurances followed. “Nothing, Master Spike!” “We’d never touch your Slayer, Master!” “Nothing, I swear!” They huddled into a frightened group.

Spike took a step forward and looked the middle vampire in the eyes. “I don’t know what you did. But I’ll find out.” He hissed softly. “If I were you, I’d start running now and hope like hell I don’t need to find you again to fix it.” The vamp quivered, held in place only by the pressure of his two buddies on either side of him.

The instant Spike blinked, he bolted. Preternatural speed made him a blur as he raced out of sight. Spike turned on the other two. “You must be the stupidest fledges I’ve ever seen.” He curled his lip. “What the bloody hell made you think you could take on the Slayer and a Master Vampire?”

“You both disgust me. You’re not worth the blood your Sires wasted on you.” He was slightly startled as both remaining vampires howled, causing Buffy to whimper behind him. They threw themselves at each other, clawing, ripping, biting, tearing. Spike stepped back to avoid the blood spray.

Desperate wails escaped their throats until those throats being torn out silenced them. Spike stared in horror as they decimated each other into bone with bits of flesh hanging loosely about. Finally, the whole sight proved too much for even William the Bloody and he yanked a stake out of his pocket.

He impaled both quivering masses and watched in horror as the dust floated down onto the pool of blood at his feet. A touch on his shoulder caused him to spin frantically, holding his stake at the ready. A frightened, tearful Slayer held her hands up peaceably.

He dropped the stake in distaste and barely managed to keep to his feet as Buffy threw herself at him. She clung to him, trembling and breathing with a tiny hitch. Long moments later, he gently tugged her loose and turned them in the direction of home.

_________________________________________

“I’ve never been more afraid of anything in my life.” Buffy whispered, arms wrapped around herself. “It was like he was all I could see. Just…him. Looming over me. He filled my entire vision. All I could think was ‘please let him stop looking at me so I can run’. I nearly passed out I was so relieved when he turned away.”

Spike sat on the far end of the couch, head in his hands. Xander could see from the set of his shoulders that he was barely hanging on by a thread. He threw a leg over the back of the couch and slid down behind the blonde. Spike tensed briefly, then scooted forward to allow Xander more room.

Xander slid his arms around Spike and rested his chin on the leather-clad shoulder. He felt Spike relax into his embrace and gently brushed his lips over the upset man’s neck.

“Did you feel he was going to attack you?” Giles asked.

Buffy shook her head. “I couldn’t think at all. I just knew I had to get away from him. Run, run, run. That’s it.”

Spike glanced at Angel. The older vamp slouched with Ellie on his lap and frowned slightly. “It was like Dru, Sire.” Spike said softly. The room became deathly quiet. Angel sat up. That Spike would call him Sire in front of the others revealed how upsetting the evening had been.

“They stared at me like everything I said was the most important thing they’d ever heard.”

Angel passed Ellie to Willow and moved to kneel in front of his Childe. “Dru climbed in people’s heads, Spike. Is that what you did?” He asked calmly. Spike shook his head.

“Not exactly. I couldn’t tell what they were thinking. It was like what they were thinking didn’t matter. Only what I thought. What I said.”

Cordelia looked incredulously at him. “Are you saying you mind controlled them?” Spike’s gaze shot to her and she tried not to flinch.

“I didn’t tell them to do that.” He said forcefully. Cordelia held her hands up defensively and nodded.

“Okay, okay…back off, blondie.”

He closed his eyes and dropped his head into his hands again. “Gods, Angel. It was bloody awful.” He breathed. “It wasn’t a kill. It wasn’t even mutilation. It was pure slaughter. They tore at each other until they had no more muscle or sinew to hold their hands onto their bodies.”

He looked up into his Sire’s brown eyes. “I’ve done a lot of evil and twisted things in my unlife. That? That was…worse.”

“Why would they attack each other when Buffy was laying on the ground, helpless?” Willow asked. “Why not even gang up on Spike? Why each other?”

“Did you say anything to them?” Wesley inquired.

“I told them they disgusted me. That they weren’t worth the blood their Sires wasted on them.”

Tara cleared her throat and forced her hand down onto her lap as she nearly raised it. “Wh-what would you do if you t-truly believed that y-you were a mistake? Th-that Angel wasted his b-blood on you?”

Spike looked uncomfortably at Angel, then fixed his gaze on the shy Wicca. “Not that I care anymore,” he began with bravado, “But I suppose when I was first turned, I would’ve went for a walk in the sun.”

“A-and if you felt y-you couldn’t wait til m-morning?”

“Staked myself?” He continued, determinedly not looking at Angel.

“N-no weapons are av-vailable.”

Spike sighed, “Bloody hell, woman. What are you getting at? I guess I’d throw my self headlong at the first thing I saw that could kill me.”

Giles pulled his glasses off. “But that really should have been Spike, in this instance.”

Tara faced Giles, more confident now that someone saw where she was headed. “B-but if Spike were the o-one making them do it, they wouldn’t attack him. Th-they’d go for the next best thing.”

“Each other.” Wesley inserted, nodding. “It actually makes sense.”

Spike just stared at them. “You all are saying I made them rip each other up?”

“Well, you did want them to be punished for attacking you and terrifying Buffy.” Wesley pointed out. “Perhaps this power of yours takes the intent and thrusts it into the mind of the other person, thereby letting them decide how best to fulfill your whims.”

“Is this a vampy thing, or something like what happened to Lys or Ellie?” Buffy asked. “Cause if this is a normal vampire thing, I’d like to turn my resignation in as Slayer right now, please.” She joked wanly.

“My first impulse is to link it to the pentacle bond.” Giles assured her. “His developing this power on the heels of the girl’s powers is too much of a coincidence.”

“I think we should keep Spike nearby until we can discern the catalyst of this power.” Said Wesley. Giles nodded his agreement.

“Was there a precursor, Spike?”

Spike wrinkled his forehead. “Well, there was this tingle…”

“Was this tingle like the one you got when you calmed Ellie down?” Cordy interrupted.

He pondered a moment. “Actually, yeah. It was.” He suddenly went paler. “Oh, bloody ‘ell. I could ‘ave ‘urt the bit!” Xander locked his wrists to keep Spike from leaping off of the couch.

“Bullshit, Spike.” He gritted. “Wes just said that you have to have intent. There’s no way you would ever intend to hurt any of the kids. Knock it off!” He jerked the squirming vampire back against him. Angel placed a restraining hand on Spike’s chest and held him down as well.

“He’s correct Spike. Intent seems essential.” Wes assured him. “Just…try not to make eye contact with anyone if you happen to become irritated.” He added.

Spike snorted. “Not likely, mate.” He looked at Buffy, deliberately catching her gaze. She met it bravely, though he could see the flicker of fear and knew she was once again seeing in her mind the two bloody forms of his last irritants.

“What I did back there, Slayer,” he said quietly, “I’m sorry. At one point, not too long ago, I would have reveled in terrifying you like that. Fear rolling off of you in waves like…” He closed his eyes briefly. He shook his head and opened them again. “But seeing what I did to you, now…it makes me sick. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She said, the beginnings of a slow smile on her face. When it reached her eyes, Spike smiled back gratefully and ducked his head almost shyly.

“Er, yes…well.” Giles began polishing his glasses again. “So, the general consensus is to inform us if any tingling is felt by anyone.” Nods all around. Xander and Lys exchanged guilty looks. Giles caught them. “Xander? Something to add?”

“Well, I may have felt a tingle or two of my own…recently.” He mumbled. “When I had a hold of Lys, during the Ellie incident, I felt a tingle in my head and then felt this skittery fear rush over me and just…wash away.” Lys nodded.

“I was getting overwhelmed. I couldn’t make Ellie get out of my head. I was trapped in this loop of her fear and my fear. Then Uncle Xan grabbed me and I could feel it start to drain away. As long as he was holding me, I could fight off the panic long enough to build my walls back up.”

Giles blinked. “And you neglected to tell us this why?”

Another exchange of guilty looks. “We forgot?”

“You forgot.”

“Well, it was pretty intense. And Ellie was way freaked out. We just kind focused on her.” Lys protested. “By the time we were all calmed down, it didn’t seem…important…any…more…you’re really mad aren’t you?” she looked very small.

Giles sighed. “Why me?”

For: XanDutch, who wanted a Xander-and-kids scene.  ; )

Things ran smoothly for the next few days. The LA gang and the scoobies got to know one another again. No major roadblocks occurred in the pentacle bond. Spike was becoming more at ease with making eye contact. Mostly after Buffy cornered him in the kitchen and told him that as much as she appreciated his concern, he was wigging her out sneaking around peering out of the corner of his eyes at her.

Ellie became a permanent fixture in Angel’s lap. Xander even caught them coloring together in the room Angel shared with Wesley. Willow, Tara, Buffy and Dawn spent nearly as much time at Xander and Spike’s as they did at their own homes. Xander had to yell at Cordy for taking Dawn and Lys shopping after he heard them plotting how to get him and Buffy to buy them matching leather jackets.

The only thing to not run smoothly was bedtime. Being forced to sleep together on the pullout couch was slowly killing both Xander and Spike. Each night they would crawl into their own side of the bed, bunch up their pillows, and stare into the darkness pretending to sleep.

Both knew the other was awake. Neither wished to broach the subject. When they woke, they would be tangled into a single entity in the center of the bed, using the same pillow and laying nose to nose. Spike normally woke first, and he would lay watching Xander sleep, breathing in his scent to help him through the day.

When he heard Xander’s heart speed up and his breathing quicken, heralding his awakening, Spike would roll out of bed and pad quietly to the kitchen to make his love breakfast. Spike began avoiding Willow after she started giving him dirty looks and staring pointedly at the calendar, indicating his week of procrastination was up. He hadn’t figured out how to tell Xan that he watched when Xander slept. How was he supposed to bring up love?

Saturday dawned bright and clear and Xander decided a family outing was in order. He was planning on going somewhere that Spike could be as well, but the vamp begged off to spend some time with Angel. Xander was happy enough that Spike and Angel weren’t at each other’s throats that he quickly agreed. As such, he had the kids plan the day. Not surprisingly, the beach was the winner of the Harris vote.

They arrived at the beach and it took nearly 10 minutes to gather up everything they’d packed and haul it to a suitable sunbathing site. Xander wrestled the cooler while Nate took the chairs. Lys had the towels and suncream and Ellie had her beach toys. Once they had found the perfect spot and towels were placed Xander handed out the suntan lotion.

“Make sure you get your noses, too.” He warned. Lys and Nate rolled their eyes. Ellie was thrilled because her sunscreen turned her nose purple. Xander made them spin around and endure his dabbing of missed spots. When he was satisfied, he started on himself.

As they opened the chairs, three teenaged boys jogged over to them.

“Hey,” they called. Xander smiled and nodded.

“Hey yourself.”

“We was wondering if you guys wanted to come play volleyball with us. We need more people.” Xander shook his head and settled in his chair.

“I’m planning on being old today and not moving from my lounge chair.” He grinned. “But Lys and Nate would love to.” Lys’s eyes lit up and she fluttered her eyelashes at the boy in the green trunks.

“Oh, yes,” she nodded. “I’d love to. We’re new here and don’t know many people.” The boys’ grinned at that.

“Well, then you absolutely have to come with us.” The green trunked boy grabbed her hand and started hauling her off.

His friends looked at each other and then at Nate. “You coming too?”

Nate shook his head and pulled out a book. “No, thank you.” He said primly. “I’m planning on finishing my book.” They looked at him as though he’d grown another head.

“Whatever, dude.” They ran back to the game. Xander frowned at Nate.

“You came to the beach to read?” he demanded. Nate nodded and sprawled into his chair. “When you could be having fun with friends your own age?” Nate nodded again and opened the book. “Why?”

Nate glanced at him over his sunglasses. “Because I want to read? Because I suck at sports and don’t want to spend the rest of the day shaking sand out of my shorts? Because I can’t stand the thought of spending time with anyone who would say ‘we was wondering’.” Xander grinned.

“I think you’re turning into Willow.” Nate stuck his tongue out at Xander and went back to his book. Xander lay back and scanned the beach for Ellie. He found her sitting in the surf. Her sand bucket and shovel sat next to her and the waves lapped at her ruffled blue bottom. But she just stared out into the ocean.

Concerned, he got up and walked down the beach to her. Crouching next to her, he leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “What’s up, poppet?” He asked, using Spike’s pet name for her.

She sighed,  “Daddy was going to teach me how to swim this summer.” Xander followed her gaze out to where several kids frolicked, diving under again and again.

“Well, I’m not your Dad, pumpkin, but I do know how to swim.” He said softly. “Would you like me to teach you?” Ellie turned her limpid brown eyes on him and smiled waveringly.

“You’d teach me?”

“I would love to teach you, Ellie.” He smiled back.

_________________________________________

“Uncle Xan! I can’t touch out here!” Ellie’s voice trembled. Xan hugged her close to him.

“It’s okay, love.” He soothed. “We’re only up to my chest. I can touch just fine and there’s no way I’ll drop you.” He brushed his lips across her cheek. She still looked warily at the water, but relaxed into Xander’s grasp. Slowly, so as not to frighten her, he eased her into the water.

Keeping his hands beneath her he taught her how to float, then how to kick and move her arms. By the time an hour had passed, Ellie was dog paddling around Xander in circles while he held his hands in the water under her in case she needed catching. Her eyes sparkled and her laughter rang out. It was the most beautiful thing Xander could remember hearing.

Finally, his toes were so waterlogged that they had to get out. As they approached the shore, Nate came down to join them.

“Have fun, Ellie?” He tugged a sodden lock of his sister’s hair. She nodded with a ferocity that shook water droplets all over him. He dodged out of the way, laughing.

“Wanna help me make a sandcastle?”

She nodded again and plopped in the wet sand. Nate followed, as did Xander. They had the moat and the first level of a rather impressive castle made when Nate suddenly frowned and looked up, scanning the beach.

“What’s wrong, Nate?” Xander asked, looking around also.

Nate zoomed in on the volleyball game…and his sister. “That prick in the green trunks…” He hissed.

Xander peered across the distance. “What? What did he do?” He could see the game in progress. Lys and Green Trunks were on the same side. It looked as though the flirting had increased.

“Nothing yet. But he’s planning on it. Pervert.” Nate practically growled. Note to self, Xander thought. Tell Willow that either the bond is wiggy, or Nate is taking growling lessons.

“Why is he a pervert?”

“What’s a pervert?” Ellie asked innocently, dumping another pile of sand on the castle. Xander shot her a look.

“Don’t worry about it, honey. I’ll tell you later.” He continued to watch Lys.

“Uncle Xan,” Nate sounded worried. “You have to make her come away. He’s trying to get her to go for a walk down the beach. But what he really wants to do is…” He glanced at Ellie. “…bad stuff.” He concluded lamely.

“How do you know that?” Xander eyed him carefully.

“Um, twin stuff, I guess.” Xander could tell he wasn’t telling the truth, but saving his niece from the clutches of a raging hormone on legs took precedence.

“I’ll get her.” He stood and made his way through beach blankets over to the game.

“Lys!” he called. “Time for lunch.” Lys looked up at him in irritation and went back to talking to the boy. Xander trotted up to her side. “Hi,” he smiled, looming protectively over her and eyeing Green Trunks. “Guess you didn’t hear me, kiddo. We’re gonna have some lunch. Why don’t you come on back?”

Lys sighed and rolled her eyes, laying a hand on Green Trunks. “Uncle Xan, Ronnie and I were just going to go for a walk. Besides, I’m not really that hungry.”

Xander stared at Green Trunks until the boy actually blushed and lowered his gaze. “Really?” He said, not taking his eyes off the boy. “Why don’t you take a minute to discuss how Ronnie ‘feels’ about going with you for a walk down the beach. And what you might be doing when you get there?”

Come on, Lys, he mentally prodded. She looked confused for a moment, then disgusted with Xander. But he could tell the seed had been planted. He could almost see the wheels turning as she gave in to curiosity and ‘read’ Ronnie. Now the disgusted look was turned on the boy.

“You prick!” she glared. Snatching the volleyball out of the air, she hucked it at Ronnie’s face with all the finesse of a sledgehammer. He caught it in the nose and fell backwards. Lys linked arms with Xander and walked away from the crowd gathering around the downed boy.

“That was gross.” She sounded angry and embarrassed all at once. “He wanted to…well,” she blushed. “I guess you know what he wanted to do. Otherwise you wouldn’t have come over, huh?” Xander hid a smile.

“Actually, your brother sent me over. He was worried about you.” Lys looked at her brother as she walked up. He avoided her gaze.

“Hey, Nate,” she said quietly. He froze, then met her gaze. “Thanks, big brother.” She smiled at him softly and he returned it with an embarrassed look.

“Yeah, no prob. Wanna help us build a castle?”

___________________________________________

“That’s a really cute castle!” Xander looked up to see two brunettes in string bikinis standing over them.

“Thanks!” He smiled at the girl in the pink bikini.

“It’s so sweet to see an older brother taking his little brother and sisters out to the beach.”

“And helping them make sandcastles, too!” Added the one in the red bikini.

“Well, I’m normally a carpenter, but decided to work with a different medium today.” He laughed.

“A medium what?” asked Pink Bikini. Xander’s smile faltered for a moment, then he laughed again.

“Oh, never mind. Not important.”

“You’d think as much paint as they’re wearing, they’d get it.” Nate mumbled under his breath to Lys. She snorted, and then blinked angelically up at the women.

“Hi, I’m Lys. This is Ellie and this is N-“

“So, what’s your name, gorgeous?” Red bikini simpered at Xander.

Lys and Nate traded looks again.

“Um, Xander. Xander Harris.”

“Ooo, Xander! That’s a cool name.” Pink cooed.

“So, Xander. Want to take a swim with us?” Red posed, her hip thrown out to the side.

“He can’t swim.” Nate said brusquely.

Xander’s eyes widened and he looked in confusion at Nate. Ellie started to open her mouth, but Lys pointed out a seashell near her feet and distracted her.

“OH, that’s too bad.” Pink looked disappointed.

“Aww, now I don’t get to show the big hunky guy what I look like when I’m wet.” Nate pouted in a whisper, his back turned away from the girls.

“Um, well, anyway,” Xander recovered, “I would really like to finish the castle with the kid, first.”

The girls looked at each other and Nate and Lys could nearly hear the awwwwww, in their heads.

“Wow. What devotion.” Red nodded her head wisely.

“I think I’m gonna hurl.” Lys whispered back to Nate. He nodded.

“Well, then how about you meet us at the Bronze for drinks later tonight?” Pink leaned over to give Xander the best view of her cleavage possible.

Lys rolled her eyes. Nate turned around. “He has to watch us tonight.” Xander blinked, staring at Nate, who pointedly ignored him.

“We could come over to your place,” Red ran a finger down Xander’s muscular shoulder. “Maybe watch a movie, or…something, when the kids go to bed.” She bit her lower lip. Lys didn’t even try to hide her indignant look. That was her uncle, dammit!

“Well, I really don’t think Uncle Xan’s boyfriend would be too hip on Uncle Xan watching a movie or doing…something whether we go to bed or not.” Nate said nonchalantly as he flicked sand at their feet.

Their shock was so great that, for a moment, they didn’t notice the grains of sand sticking to the sun tanning lotion slathered on their legs. After their mouths shut, they glared at Nate and walked away without a goodbye.

Xander watched them go with a shell-shocked look on his face. He turned to Nate.

Nate shrugged. “Just trying to keep you on this side of fidelity, Uncle Xan. Not to mention that any children from that side of the gene pool would be truly scary.”

Xander tried to be angry, but Nate and Lys’s smug looks only made him grin. “Yeah, yeah…so they weren’t the brightest berries on the bush. But as for fidelity, you know that Spike and I are not a couple, Nate. You should really not push him. It upsets him.” He stared sternly at Nate, then Lys. “And I promised him not to bring it up.”

They nodded and looked back to their sand castle. Sneaked peeks proved that the wistful tone in his voice matched the one on his face. Glancing at each other, another nod came from each as an unspoken agreement passed between them.

Xander noticed the twins acting strangely. He kept walking into rooms and finding one or the other of them in a huddle with one of the scoobies or Cordy. As soon as they saw him, they would begin talking loudly about clothes or demons. Not normally a problem, except that it was Nate talking about the clothes and Lys talking about the demons. After the fourth time finding them whispering, he went to Spike.

“Do you know what’s going on?” he asked as he shoveled cookies off of the baking sheet for the vampire.

“I have no idea, pet.” Spike replied, hissing slightly as his hand brushed the oven rack. “Bloody hell! They’ve been avoiding the kitchen. I think it’s cause they know I can hear them if they get too close.” He shook his hand and glared at the oven. Xander put the spatula down and reached behind the curtain in the kitchen window.

When he drew his hand back he had a tiny piece of plant. Snatching Spike’s hand out of the air, he held it still while squeezing the aloe vera on the burn. “So, you can hear them, huh?” He grinned. “Wanna do some recon?”  Spike returned his grin.

“Sounds like fun, luv.”

Xander finished swabbing the burn and tossed the spent bit of plant in the garbage. “There, all better.” He patted the vampire’s hand. As he tried to release it, Spike gripped tighter. Xander looked up into mischievous blue eyes.

“I haven’t gotten my make-it-better-uncle-Xan kiss.” He pouted. Xander’s breath sped up. His gaze was drawn immediately to Spike’s lips, moist and slightly open.

“Well, I guess I have to do something about that, huh?” Xander breathed absently, still staring.

He closed his eyes to break the spell Spike’s lips seemed to have put on him and raised the vampire’s hand to his own. Feeling suddenly wicked, he turned the other man’s hand palm up. Softly, he dropped a tiny kiss there, feeling Spike’s fingers close around his chin.

Leaving his lips against the cool flesh, he parted his lips slightly and let his tongue dart out to taste. Spike’s entire body tensed. The vamp felt the warm tip of that tongue send shivers through his body and his cock twitched in response. Xander lifted his head and let go of the vamps hand.

Dazedly, Spike let him. “So, all better yet?” Xander asked.

Spike shuddered at the husky tone in Xander’s voice. “What would you say if I told you I have other owies?” He forced a snarky grin, which faded as he watched a fire light in Xander’s chocolaty brown eyes.

“I’d have to say you should let me check for them.”

“I-“

“Uncle Xan? Uncle Wil? Oh, there you are!” Nate could have kicked himself as he watched Xander and Spike jump apart. He had obviously interrupted something.

“N-Nate.” Xander smiled, turning so that the kitchen island covered his crotch. Spike turned back to the sink and began filling it with water. “Something we can do for you?”

“Er, yeah. Cordy wants to talk to you in the living room.” He took a final look at the two men and sighed. “I’ll tell her you’ll be out in a minute.”

“Yes. Yes, that’s good. In a minute.” Xander babbled. As the door shut behind Nate, Xander and Spike shared a glance. Spike’s lips twitched. Xander shook his head. Spike snickered. Xander grinned. In a moment, they were both leaning onto the counters as the laughter rolled through the room.

“Come on, pet.” Spike wiped his eyes, still chuckling. “Let’s see what the prom queen wants.”

­­­­­­­­­­­­­________________________________________________

Xander rolled his eyes at the picture of innocence that the girls made. “So, you girls want to have a slumber party.”

“Yes! It’ll be great!” Lys bounced on her toes. “Please Uncle Xan? Uncle Spike?” She looked pleadingly at her uncles. Xander grinned.

“I don’t know…” he began, but couldn’t continue as the smile started to fade on Lys’s face. “Of course you can have a slumber party, sweetheart.” He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. “But if you take Ellie and all the girls, that means the guys get to have a guys night, right?”

He knew he’d stumbled onto something when the girls exchanged nervous looks. Cordy smiled hugely and nodded.

“That’d be great!” Xander watched her shoot a look of death across the room. Angel cleared his throat and stood up from his spot on the couch.

“Hey, Xander. Actually, Giles, Wes and I were kinda hoping that Nate help us out with some research we need to do on a demon problem we’re having in LA.” Spike shook his head and flopped into a chair, disgusted at his Sire’s pathetic cover.

Xander raised an eyebrow. “Really? And I guess that this research would be too boring for me and Spike, huh?” Spike grinned up at him. “So we shouldn’t even bother to offer to help, should we?”

Angel dropped his gaze guiltily. Shuffling his feet he glanced at Cordy. “I told you someone else should suggest it.” Cordy glared at him, then squared her shoulders.

“Fine.” She announced. “The girls are going to have a slumber party…at Buffy’s house. Angel, Wes, Giles and Nate are going to spend the night at Giles’ house. You two are going to have the whole house to yourself.” She looked pointedly between them.

“The kids should be far enough away not to be…affected…by anything you do.” Xander blushed and opened his mouth to speak. Cordy overrode him. “I suggest you two take this opportunity to have a serious discussion.”

Willow stepped forward and put her arm sportingly around Cordy. “Definitely.” She narrowed her gaze at Spike. “I think there are some things ‘long overdue’ that need to be said.” She turned and smiled at Lys. “Get your stuff sweetie. I’ll help Ellie. We’ll pick up dinner on the way to the house.”

Spike and Xander sat on the couch, baffled, as the twin whirlwinds of Cordy and Willow took control of their household, shepherding everyone out. With a final stern look from them both, the door shut and the men were left alone. Long moments passed before they even took their eyes off of the doorway.

“So,” Spike finally ventured.

“So.”

“I think we’ve been pretty well manipulated tonight.”

“I’d say so.”

“I’m thinking they just aren’t listening to us. What do you think?”

“Pretty much.”

“So.”

“So.”

They glanced at each other and as one, burst into laughter. Gasping for air, Xander stood up. “I’m going to make some popcorn. Might as well watch a movie if we’re going to be alone the whole evening.”

Spike grinned back. “I’ll get us some beers.”

________________________________________________

“Angel?” Nate asked, swinging his leg in the overstuffed chair as he read yet another book on vampires.

“Mmm hmm?” Angel looked up from polishing one of Giles’ ancient daggers.

“What’s it like to be with another man?”

Angel froze. For long moments, he couldn’t even blink. Then, that seemed to be all he could do. “Er…why do you want to know?”

Nate sighed and closed his book, putting a finger in-between the pages to hold his place. “Well, it’s just taking so long for Uncle Xan and Uncle Wil to get together. I was just wondering if it was because they were scared of what it will be like being…together.”

He tried to keep from blushing, and when that failed, he raised his chin defiantly. Angle smothered a smile. Not even related, yet so like his Uncle Wil.

“I think what’s keeping them apart is something far more frightening. Spike is terrified to admit that he needs Xander. Xander can admit it, but he promised Spike not to push.”

Nate frowned. “Oh. Well, how do you tell if you’re gay?”

More blinking. “Um, well…I suppose you are attracted to men before women.”

Nate cocked his head. “Are you gay?”

Blink. “Um, no. But vampires tend to er, play both sides of the fence anyway.”

Nate nodded. “Have you ever been with another guy?”

Blink. “Yes.”

“Did you love him?”

Angel stepped back in his mind for a moment, remembering Spike when he was William. When he peered from behind brown curls, the same piercing blue eyes holding Angelus’ gaze as he bucked against his Sire. He heard the soft gasps of pleasure and saw the naked need etched on every line of his boy’s face. Need for him. For his touch. Oh, yes.

“Yes. I loved him very much.” He replied softly, with a smile.

Nate returned the smile, and it held a touch of knowing that disturbed Angel.

“Did it bother you that you were in love with a man? Especially at a time when that was frowned upon?”

Could he? No, he was guessing. He hoped. “No. I didn’t really care what others thought. He was mine.”

Nate nodded. “Sometimes I think people are so stupid. They’d pass up their true soul mate, their greatest chance of love and happiness, just because the other person has the same parts as they do.”

Angel quirked a lip. Sometimes, this boy was so mature, it was scary. “Very true, Nate.”

“When I get older, I’m going to look for someone to love first, and worry about if they are male or female later.”

Angel smiled. “And when you find that person, Nate, he or she will be very lucky indeed.”

Nate ducked his head, smiling shyly, and went back to reading his book.

________________________________________________

“Buffy, I’m going to put Ellie to bed in Dawnie’s room. She’s conked out already.” Tara smiled at the sweetly sleeping princess in her arms. Buffy nodded and hopped up to kiss Ellie on the cheek.

“Let’s play truth.” Dawn said, wiggling down into her sleeping bag. Lys looked quizzically at her.

“Isn’t it supposed to be truth or dare?”

Dawn grinned. “This way everyone has to answer. No wussing out on cheesy dares.”

“I’ll go first!” Willow grabbed the popcorn before settling into her sleeping bag as well. “Cordy…” Cordy looked warily at her. “Have you kissed Angel?” Ears perked up and Cordy blushed.

“I liked the wussy dares,” she muttered. Willow threw a pillow at her. “Fine, fine! Yes. I have kissed Angel.”

Buffy blinked. “Really? Well, dammit. I don’t know whether to feel all ‘way to go Cordy’ or ‘you bitch, you stole my boyfriend’.” Cordy smiled at Buffy.

“Well, thank you for the kind though, Buffy, but he was asleep when I did it.”

“What?”

“I found him asleep on the couch one night and…he just looked so cute, all snuggled down in his blanket.” She blushed. “I just wanted to see what it would be like.”

“And?” Willow threatened her with another pillow as she appeared ready to stop talking.

“It was…nice.” Cordy murmured with a smile. “He has very soft lips.” She looked mortified about two seconds after the words came out of her mouth. “I’m sorry, Buffy.”

Buffy grinned. “Hey, he’s not mine anymore, Cordelia. It was a gut reaction. More power to you.”

The two girls smiled across the room at each other.

“That makes it my turn.” Cordy grinned evilly at Willow. Willow paled.

“I want to know…” she paused for effect, “how long Dawnie has had a major crush on Nate.” Willow’s look of relief was surpassed by Dawn’s look of horror.

“I-I don’t know wh-what you’re talking about!” She stuttered.

Buffy smacked her with a pillow.

“What?” She tried to look offended, but no one seemed to be buying it. Even Tara, who’d come back in from putting Ellie in bed, didn’t look convinced. “Fine. So I think he’s hot. So what?” She crossed her arms and glared at the room in general.

“He is pretty cute,” Tara ventured. “If I weren’t a lesbian and he weren’t jailbait, I’d go for him.” The whole room fell silent as the girls stared at the normally quiet girl in shock.

Tara grinned. “What? You think just cause I never say anything, I never think it?”

________________________________________________

The movie in, Spike and Xander sat on the couch sharing popcorn. “Hey, come over here.” Xander smiled, patting the couch next to him. Spike hesitated only a moment before sliding the distance between them and nestling against Xander’s side.

“I saw Anya yesterday.” He offered suddenly. He waited, every nerve in his body attuned to Xander’s reaction.

“Really? I thought she’d left town.” Nothing. Not even a tensed muscle. Spike crowed inwardly.

“Yeah, she was hanging off of a chaos demon.”

Xander snorted. “What is it with women and chaos demons?”

Spike grinned. “Can’t say as I know, mate. Dru seemed awfully fond of them, though.”

Xander rested his cheek on Spike’s head. “I bet when you were draining the world with Dru you never thought you’d see the day you’d be cooking dinner for the Slayer and her friends, huh?”

He felt Spike shrug. “Never really thought about what I’d be doing in the future, luv. At the time I was with my dark princess, I never considered there would be a time we weren’t without each other. We were immortal and we were in love.”

Now he felt the reaction he’d been expecting when he mentioned Anya. Xander tensed up and tightened his grip around Spike’s shoulder.

“There’s not really any point in thinking about tomorrow when you’ll live forever.”

“So, you never think about tomorrow, then?” Xander asked quietly.

Spike chuckled humorously. “Actually, Pet, I think about tomorrow nearly every second these days.”

“Why?”

Spike shifted in Xander’s arms until they were looking at each other. “Because the people I’ve grown to care about the most aren’t immortal.” He answered softly.

Xander stared into the blue depths, trying to decipher what he saw there. “So what are you going to do when we’re gone?”

He saw the pain shoot through Spike’s eyes; the hopelessness.

“I don’t rightly know, pet.”

“But you’ve thought about it.”

Spike nodded. “Yeah. I’ve thought about it.”

“Will you turn us?”

“No!” came the vehement response. “I told you before, Xan. I want you all the way you are. Not some monster with your faces.”

Xander tilted his head as a light came on in his brain. “Is that why you won’t tell me how you feel about me?” He knew he’d touched on it when Spike jumped as though tazered. “You won’t tell me because, when I die, it will hurt less if you can say that you never loved me? If you can tell yourself that, since you never said the words, it wasn’t true? Is that how you plan on getting through eternity, Spike?”

His quiet accusation hurt more than his screams would have. Spike felt the words stick in his throat. He wanted to take the boy in his arms and kiss him senseless. He wanted to brand every inch of glorious skin with his breath, his mouth, and his tongue. He wanted to yell from the rooftops how much he loved this man-boy. His Xander. What came out was different.

“Wot the hell makes you think I’ll dwell on the likes of you for eternity, whelp?” he bit out sarcastically. Instantly, he wished he could take it back. He watched the doubt creep into Xander’s eyes. He saw the bleakness settle into place again and Xander nodded, loosening his hold on Spike.

“Of course not, Spike. How stupid of me.” He pulled his arm totally away. “I should have realized you’re in this for you. I’m not really surprised.” He forced a weak, self-deprecating smile. “What is there really to love about me? I couldn’t even get my parents to love me. Why the fuck should someone like you love me?”

He made to stand. Spike grabbed his arm and jerked him back down into the vampire’s lap. “Don’t you ever say that, Xander Harris.” He hissed. “There isn’t a bloody thing wrong with you. You’re a good person. You are smart, beautiful, funny, gentle and caring. If anything, I don’t deserve you.”

Xander looked up at him, tears filling his eyes. “Then why?” He whispered, searching those blue eyes again. “Why won’t you love me? What can I do to make you love me? I know I promised you’d never have to say it. I meant it. You don’t have to say it.” He choked back a sob. “But can you feel it? Is there anything I can do, anything I can change to make you feel it?”

Spike took the brunette’s face gently between his hands. “Love, there’s nothing you can do that will make me stop loving you.” He leaned forward and captured Xander’s lips. They ghosted softly over the boy’s mouth, nibbling on the corners. Xander gasped at the feeling and Spike took advantage of that to slip his tongue into Xander’s sweet mouth.

Xander moaned as Spike twined his tongue around his, tickling the roof of his mouth and tracing the line of his teeth. His hands came up to tangle in Spike’s shirt. He leaned backwards, tugging the vampire on top of him. Spike willingly went, covering his love with his body. Shifting slightly, Spike rubbed his denim-clad cock against Xander’s, causing them both to moan appreciatively.

Spike pulled away. Xander whimpered in disappointment. Dropping a tiny kiss on the boy’s nose, Spike propped himself up on his elbow.  “It’s killing me, Xander.” He whispered. “Being in love with you is killing me. I know I should leave you alone. I should leave those beautiful kids alone.”

When it looked as though Xander may protest, he placed a single finger on Xander’s lips.

“I know someday, I’m going to lose you. To a demon, to disease, to old age. Doesn’t really matter. I am going to lose you. I will never turn you. I love you far too much to watch you slip away as a demon takes your place. One day, I’m going to lose the kids. I can’t turn them either.”

His voice broke. “I can’t keep you with me, Xan. Any of you. I have eternity in front of me, luv. Whereas before, it was exhilarating, knowing I’d be around forever, now it looms over my head like a poisonous cloud. What happens when you’re gone? If it were just you and I, I’d bury you. I’d plant roses at your grave and put up a huge headstone that told of how brave you were and how much you were loved. Then I’d lay down on your grave and wait for the sun to find me.”

Xander clutched Spike closer as tears spilled down his cheeks to soak the cushion below. “But it’s not just you and me, luv. It’s the kids, too. I can’t leave them alone. If you go, I have to stay and take care of them. All of them. Their children, their grandchildren. I feel like I’d owe it to you to keep our kids safe.”

He closed his eyes briefly. “I’d be trapped here, luv. Trapped for all of my eternity. Watching our kids grow old and die. Watching the years between now and when I lost my only reason for wanting to live. I’d die a little every day forever, Xan.”

Xander reached up and cupped his love’s face in his hand. “Do you love me, Wil?” he whispered.

Spike opened his eyes and let everything he felt come into them. “Yes, Alexander LaVelle Harris. I love you.”

Xander smiled through his tears. “Then it’s already too late, Spike. You can only go forward. The best we can do now is cherish the time we have together.”

He closed the distance between them and just held his shaking vampire. “I love you, Spike. I love you, so much.”

________________________________________________

Clink.

Buffy lifted her head from the pillow. No one else seemed to have heard the sound.

Clank.

She sat up and shushed everyone. The girls looked at her questioningly. She closed her eyes and concentrated on listening for all she was worth.

Crash!

Screams came from around the room as the bedroom window shattered. Willow and Tara tugged Lys and Dawn away from the shards of glass covering the floor. Cordy jumped up and threw her sleeping bag over the shards. Buffy flashed a quick thank-you smile and darted to the window on top of the protective bag.

She narrowed her eyes and scanned the street below for signs of movement. What caught her eye, however, made her groan and gently pound her head against the window frame.

“What is it, Buffy?” Cordy asked grasping the lamp she’d picked up for protection.

From below the window came, “Uh, sorry!…Didn’t mean to do that…don’t know my own strength sometimes. Really, sorry! Did I hurt you, my love?”

Another groan from Buffy and twin giggles from Willow and Tara. Cordy looked confused, but set down the lamp when it appeared no danger was imminent.

“Uh, what is going on?” she asked impatiently.

Through muffled snickers, Willow waved at the window. “Buffy’s new beau: the vampire.”

“Shut up, Willow.” Buffy growled. Willow didn’t looked affected; she just stood and helped Lys to her feet.

Cordy felt a smile twitching at the corner of her mouth. “This is the lovesick vamp you were having Spike protect you from?”

Buffy nodded and sighed. “What the hell are you doing, Anton?” She called out wearily. The girls crowded around the windows, peering down at the figure below.

Anton, seeing other faces in Buffy’s window, looked sheepish. He brushed his waist length black hair out of his face and adjusted his black sweater. Black slacks and shoes completed the picture. He stood up taller.

“My most heartfelt apologies, ladies all.” He swept a bow at the window. “I was but passing by and noticed my fairest lady’s light on. I was not aware that she had company.”

Buffy glared down at him. “You noticed my light on? What are you doing? Watching my room?”

“Of course not, lovely Buffy.” He protested.

“How often do you watch my room, Anton?” she demanded. “All the time? All night? Are you stalking me in my own room?”

Her voice continued to rise and Cordy elbowed her. “Wigging much?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Buffy took a deep breath and gripped the windowsill. “Well, Anton? Are you out there every night?”

“Of course not, my dearest.” He smiled. “Sometimes you patrol, or go to the Bronze. Sometimes you go to the Magic Shop, or even-“

“Okay, Anton!” Buffy interrupted. “I get the idea!” The girls giggled.

“Oh, most beautiful lady!” He held a hand up in a supplicating manner and dropped to one knee. “What light through yonder window breaks? Tis the east, and Buffy is the sun! I burn in your brightness, my love. You bring back to me the glory of a summer day. You light up my dreary night with your hair of golden flames and your porcelain skin.”

“Oh, dear lord,” Buffy squeezed her eyes shut against the sight. Unfortunately, she couldn’t close her ears.

“Oh, how romantic!” Willow cooed, and took Tara’s hand.

“I-It’s really beautiful.” Added Tara.

“My truest love! I cannot take living on the fringe of your glorious existence any longer. Pleas! Come live with me, and be my love.”

Buffy snorted. “Are you crazy? You live in a cemetery!”

“Um, Buffy. It’s a poem.” Willow whispered with a grin.

“Oh. Well, I’m still not going to be your love!”

“Ah, but my angel of the night, you already are my love. Please, let me be yours! Let us take hands and venture into the cold night together and warm it with the fires of our passions!”

“Ewww! I think not! Anton go away, stop following me, stop stalking me. I am the Slayer. You are a vampire. It’s just wrong.”

He dropped his head and for long moments, the girls watched, wondering. Soon, it became apparent from the shaking of his shoulders that he was crying. He looked up at the window, red tears streaking down his face. “I understand.” He sobbed. “I lack the greatness of Angelus. I shall have to prove myself to you. I shall defeat a great evil in your name and make you proud of my love!”

“Ok, whatever.” Buffy cringed. “Now go home, Anton. It’s late and there are meaner things than you walking the streets of Sunnydale.”

Anton smiled happily through his tears. “My heart trembles that you concern yourself with my safety, great lady. I bid thee adieu, mon amor. And to you as well Mademoiselles.” He stood, bowed again and, had he a cloak; he would have twirled it with a flourish as he swept away. Of course, tripping over the brick-lined flowerbed next door spoiled his exit.

He caught himself before falling on his face and waved as if to say he was all right. Buffy groaned again and pulled her head back inside. Ignoring the snickers following her, she flung herself onto her bed again and covered her head with a pillow.”

Xander shifted until Spike was laying full length underneath him. Spike let himself be manipulated; concentrating instead on the slow burn he could see building in those dark eyes. Xander gently tugged Spike’s black t-shirt out of his tight pants and slid his hands up the cool flesh.

Spike shuddered at Xander’s warmth branding his skin. Xander continued to push the material up until Spike raised his arms and allowed the brunette to pull it off over his head. Xan flung the shirt over his shoulder and gazed in hunger at the man beneath him. Even under the harsh electrical lights, Spike seemed ethereal. Pale, pale skin. So fragile. So unmarred.

Xander leaned forward and indulged himself. He ran his tongue from the waistband of Spike’s jeans up to his chin. Gently, so gently, he nipped that chin and followed the line of Spike’s jaw with his tongue. He nipped again as he reached the blonde’s ear. Spike whimpered quietly under his ministrations.

“I love you, Wil.” Xander whispered warmly into his love’s ear. Spike lost the little control he started with. He bucked against Xander and began tearing at the boy’s clothes, desperate to press flesh to flesh. Xander dove for Spike’s lips, locking his own against them. Spike wouldn’t settle for that.

He thrust his tongue between Xander’s lips and met the boy’s tongue in a frantic duel. He managed to pull off Xander’s outer shirt, but rather than break their kiss, chose to rip the undershirt open from the neck. Only then did he tear his lips from Xander’s to place small love bites down the boy’s neck and across his collarbone.

Two sets of hands fumbled at each other’s belt buckles. Two pairs of pants were frantically pushed down. The pants rested on two sets of boots that the two men hadn’t the patience to take off. Spike slid his hands around Xander’s waist and cupped the brunette’s ass in his hands. He tugged Xander closer, forcing their erections against each other.

Low moans came from both throats. Xander was sure he was going blind from the pleasure Spike’s touch. He saw flashes through his closed eyelids. Spike knelt breathed in Xander’s scent. He could feel the warmth of the boy’s cock even from a distance. Xander threaded his fingers through Spike’s hair and nearly wept in anticipation.

“Oh, shit!”

Xander’s eyes shot open and he looked down at Spike. But Spike was looking up at him with an equally quizzical expression.

Crash. Snap. Thud.

They turned their heads as one towards the window. Spike rose to his feet, pulling his jeans up with him. Xander copied his actions and they made their way across the room. Peering out the window, they saw a figure thrashing in the rose bushes. It stood up and flashed a frightened look before turning tail and racing around the house to the street.

________________________________________________

Just as Buffy finally glared the girls into silence, Ellie shuffled into the room. She was nearly lost in her ‘gown’, one of Xander’s t-shirts. She rubbed her eyes sleepily and yawned widely. Willow reached out and tugged the little girl into her lap.

“Hey, Ellie-bear,” she smiled as Ellie wrapped her arms around Willow’s neck. “Whatcha doing up?” Ellie yawned again.

“Couldn’t sleep. Someone was yelling,” she mumbled. Buffy blushed.

“Sorry, sweetheart. We had an unwanted visitor. I was telling him to go away.”

Ellie nodded and smiled. “S’ok.”

But then the smile slid off of her face. She stiffened and Willow leaned back in concern to look at her. Ellie jerked, her head rocked sideways and she began to cry. Willow looked in horror from the little girl to Buffy. Buffy had no answers.

“Please…ow! You’re hurting me! Stop…please…Uncle Xan! Uncle Spike!…Help!…Leave me alone!”

Ellie’s thrashing worsened. The girls crowded around her and Willow, confused and scared. A low moan from the corner pulled everyone’s attention away from Ellie. Tara was the first to reach Lys. The teen sat in the floor, grasping her knees, rocking and crying.

“Lys?” Tara said quietly, touching the girl’s shoulder. “What is it? What do you feel?”

“Hurts…” Lys moaned. “Hurts so bad…”

“What hurts, sweetie?”

“Pain…hitting me…they’re hitting me.” Lys’s voice broke. “Cold…so cold…scared, dirty…dirty, dirty, dirty…” She curled into a ball, whimpering, mimicking Ellie who burrowed further into Willow’s arms. “No! nononono…don’t touch me! Don’t hurt me!”

Lys gave a keening wail and threw herself into the wall, beating her head against it repeatedly. Ellie screamed, shrill, terrified…and then passed out. Tara interposed herself between Lys and the wall. She tugged the girl into her embrace and rocked her as she cried herself out.

______________________________________________

Nate rolled his eyes at the description of the Taug demon’s mating habits. “Whatever!”

Angel glanced over at the boy and raised the corner of his mouth in an indulgent smile. “Whatever what?”

Nate put a finger in the book to hold his place. “It says that the Taug demon has to-“

He stopped dead and frowned at Angel. “What?”

Angel raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t say anything, Nate.”

Nate stood up, anger flashing in his eyes. “No, you did. I heard you.” He began moving toward Angel. The vampire placed his hands on the arms of the chair, non-threateningly.

“No, Nate. I didn’t say anything.” The boy looked confused, frightened, furious.

“Then why-“ He jerked to a halt and his eyes grew wide. “Lys?” He whispered. His body twitched and he screamed. “Lys! Lys, I’m coming!”

Angel vaulted out of the chair and caught the boy as he tried to run toward the door. “Giles! Wesley!” He bellowed, trying to keep a hold of the thrashing boy. The Watchers burst through the kitchen door.

“What is it?” Giles demanded. Angel finally pinned the boy to the floor.

“I don’t know, but it has to do with Lys. We need to get over there.”

“I’ll get the car.” Wesley darted out the door.

______________________________________________

“What the hell was that all about?” Xander grinned as the man tripped over the hose on his way around the house.

When no answer was forthcoming, Xander glanced over at Spike. The vamp was in game face. A low growl steadily gained in volume until it became a full-blown roar. Xander reached a hand out to his vampire and was startled to find Spike trembling so hard that he was practically vibrating.

“Spike?”

“Mine!” Spike hissed. He turned and bolted for the door. Xander, wide-eyed with confusion, watched him go. He then shook the cobwebs out of his head and raced after him.

“Spike! Stop!” He caught the vamp at the door, fighting with the lock. Seconds before Spike lost it and just ripped through the wood, Xander reached him. “Spike, stop!” He wrapped his arms around the vamp and tried to tug him backwards.

“No! Mine!” Spike growled, snapping his teeth at the boy. Xander had a moment of fear as those needle sharp fangs gnashed so close to his face.  “Protect…mine!”

Xander mentally braced himself and took a better hold on the vamp. With a move Spike would have been proud of had he been in his right mind, he swept the older man’s legs out from under him. Spike hit the ground with a roar and Xander had his hands full of squirming, thrashing, biting, kicking vampire.

The only thing that saved him from being ripped in two was the blessed/cursed chip. Spike elbowed him in the nose sending pain shooting through the entire right side of his face. He saw stars, or at least colored lights and felt his grip loosen. Not that it mattered. Spike curled into a fetal ball, howling and holding his head.

Oblivious to the blood pouring from his nose, Xander crawled back to the blonde. “Please, Spike…” he took the other man into his arms. “Tell me what’s wrong?”

Spike looked up at him with a terrible pain in his eyes that Xander somehow knew had nothing to do with the chip. “Mine,” he whispered. Then he shoved Xander off of him and rolled to his feet. He was gone before Xander had even gotten up.

Frustrated, the boy followed him out the door and stood on the sidewalk.

“Goddamn vampire,” Xander bitched, vainly searching for a sign of the blonde menace. He couldn’t decide if he were more pissed or scared. Either way didn’t bode well for the vamp when Xander got a hold of him. “Spike!” He yelled into the empty street.

Just as he had given up and was turning back to phone Giles or Willow, he heard a scream. Calling himself seven kinds of idiot, he none-the-less charged toward the sound. He wasn’t surprised to find Spike kicking the crap out of someone. He just wasn’t expecting it to be an 8-foot spine covered demon. He didn’t expect it to be leaking what he assumed was blood all over the road; burning little pock marks wherever it touched.

He certainly didn’t expect it to be screeching like a girl and cowering into a light pole to get away from the vicious vampire currently trying to disembowel it. Sighing to himself, he ran forward.

“Spike!” He hollered over the howling and growling. He interposed his body between the frothing vampire and the bleeding demon. Spike tried reaching around him and when that didn’t work, he tried going through him. He got another shock to the head for his troubles.

As he dropped to his knees again, Xander shoved him over onto his back and pinned him. He looked up at the huge demon above them. “Run, dammit!”  The demon stared at him with purple eyes, not seeming to comprehend. Xander waved him away, taking his hands from Spike’s prone form for a precious second. “Go, go, go! Get out of here! I can’t hold him for long!”

The creature either understood his hand gestures or decided on it’s own to make a break for it, because it turned tail and ran back down the street. Xander turned his attention back to Spike. The vamp shook off the pain and glared up at the boy.

“Let. Me. Go.” He enunciated between growls.

“Ummm…no way in hell?” Xander twined his legs around Spike’s. “I want to know what the hell is going on. And I want to know now.”

Spike seemed about to speak, and then narrowed his gaze. Xander felt a tingle at the base of his neck. He thought this was probably the stupidest thing he’d ever decided to do. He had one pissed off vampire glaring daggers at him. His nose hurt like hell. He was pretty certain that he was rolling in some of that demon blood.

All in all? Dumb, dumb Xander. What was he thinking? He was a mortal. With mortal strength. Spike was an all-powerful vampire. With vampire strength. Spike could crush him with one hand. It was hopeless. He might as well just let go and let the vampire—What the hell?

Xander shook his head slightly and tentatively ‘pushed’ at the feelings of hopelessness. He was alternately gratified and pissed off to sense the feeling slide off of him like water. With the last vestiges of hopelessness gone, he headbutted Spike.

“Ow! Bloody hell, Xander!”

“You sonofabitch!” Xander screamed in Spike’s face. “You tried to mojo me!”

To his credit, Spike looked shamefaced for a moment, then determination set back in. “Yeah, so what if I did? Let me up. I have to get to the Slayer’s.”

Xander’s eyes grew wide. “The kids?” he whispered. Spike nodded and Xander practically leaped off of him. He held out his hand and the vamp grabbed it. Tugging Spike to his feet, Xander drug him back to the garage and moments later, they were peeling out of the drive.

Xander came out of the room the girls were sharing with a smile. The smile dropped off of his face the second the door closed. Spike appeared at his side and snaked strong arms around his human. Xander dropped his head onto Spike’s shoulder and drew in a deep shuddering breath.

It was bad, Spike thought. Whatever it was that Lys needed to tell him about the shared vision that inspired the chaos of the evening was bad. He’d never seen Xan so shaken. The man looked about ready to cry. Firmly shoving his curiosity to the background, he led Xander to the couch. Dropping down onto it, he tugged Xander into his lap.

He held him, rubbing his hand over the tense muscles in Xander’s back. Every now and then, he would drop a kiss on sable locks or silky skin. He breathed in the scent of his mate and accepted. He was lost. Lost in the man in his arms. And he was happy to be there.

Xander finally snuffled his nose against his arm and looked up into Spike’s face. “Ellie saw Lys being raped.” He stated roughly. Spike froze, his mind refusing to wrap around the concept. Xander nodded. “Ellie saw it. Lys felt it. Nate apparently heard it. That’s why Angel had him there by the time we got there.”

He sucked in an unsteady breath. “I don’t understand why I felt nothing. All the kids did. You did. But I felt…nothing.” Spike clucked at him.

“Xander, I’m glad you didn’t feel anything. I can understand now why I felt the rage that I did. I was mindless. I just needed to kill something and I didn’t care what. I didn’t, and I know the kids wouldn’t, want you to feel that.” Xander sat up suddenly, looking irritated.

“That’s not my point, Spike.” He groused. “I’m supposed to be connected to this thing. But I wasn’t. I want to know why.”

Spike gnawed on his lip and stared at the unhappy man in front of him. “You calmed me down, luv.” He said softly. “You took away my rage.” Xander glanced up. “From what we could piece together, about the time you drug me back to myself, Ellie passed out. When she did, Lys was freed. So was Nate.” Spike shrugged. “I think you didn’t feel anything because you were our anchor.”

Xander blinked rapidly, trying to control the tears that threatened. “But…”

Spike held his arms out and Xander flew back into them. “Ssshhh, luv. You don’t have to feel guilty because you didn’t take your part of the bloody pentacle of pain. You didn’t desert us. You saved us. You pulled us out.” He held the brunette tightly against him, loving him with all he was worth until the man/boy finally cried himself to sleep.

__________________________________________________________

The next morning, the house seemed back to normal. Although no one spoke of any of the events of the previous night, it was evident in the small touches and tiny smiles the group gave to each other. Halfway though breakfast, the doorbell rang. Xander pushed his chair back and brushed his hand across the back of Spike’s neck as he walked past. The vamp briefly closed his eyes and bent his head forward with a smile.

Xander opened the front door to a familiar face. “Donna! What a pleasant surprise. Is everything okay at the site?” Donna was his boss’s wife. His smile fell as he caught sight of the two police officers and the unhappy look on Donna’s face. “Donna? Has something happened to Bob? The kids?” She visibly flinched.

“Donna? What’s wrong? Can I help?” He was starting to worry. Donna squared her chin and looked directly at Xander’s chin.

“X-Xander. This isn’t a social call. I’m here on business.” Xander frowned for a moment as he tried to remember what it was that Donna did. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. Oh please nonononono. Donna worked for CPS.

“Well, then I suppose you’d better come in, then.” Xander was amazed that he’d gotten anything out of his throat, it was so tight. “And you also, officers.” He stepped back and waved the small group inside.

He gestured to the couch. “Have a seat. Can I get you anything to drink?” The officers shook their heads and Donna looked at the floor.

“Xander, I have an order here remanding guardianship of Nate, Ellie and Lys back to your parents until a hearing can be held to determine your competency as a guardian.” It all came out in one rushed breath, as though she’d rehearsed it a dozen times and was desperate to get it out while she remembered it.

Xander’s legs dropped out from under him. Luckily he was near a chair, and he sank into it, staring vaguely at Donna. “Pardon me?” He asked stupidly.

Donna squinched her face up, “I’m so sorry, Xander. Th-they submitted it this morning as soon as the courthouse opened. They brought…documentation, and some rather ugly charges. The judge…she signed it immediately. They forwarded the paperwork to my office and sent me out here to…to get the children.”

Xander blinked, looking from Donna to the police and back again. Donna looked miserable. The officers looked carved in stone. Expressionless. “What documentation? What charges?” He asked woodenly.

Donna shuffled in her bag and pulled out a manila folder. “They claim that you provide a morally unsafe environment by allowing them to spend inordinate amounts of time in an occult bookstore. That you have not provided adequate care for them during the times that you are at work…”

She stopped and shot a nervous look at Xander. “They state that you and the…babysitter…have engaged in sexual activities in the presence of the children.” Xander shot to his feet. The policemen’s hands went for their holsters, but Xander paid no attention.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He yelled. “I can understand the moral endangerment…sort of. I can even understand them not approving of my choice of people to watch the kids. But this? This is ridiculous!”

Donna lifted a shaky hand full of several pieces of paper. “They have documentation, Xander.” She whispered. Xander snatched the pictures out of her hand and stared. At himself. And Spike. Naked. On the very couch Donna and the police now sat on. He flipped through the pictures showing them in various stages of undress, of them pressed against each other, of Spike hovering over his erection.

He closed his eyes. Those fucking flashes. The man hiding in the goddamn roses. Fuck. “I agree. This looks really bad, Donna.” He opened them again to stare at the pictures. “But the kids weren’t here. They were spending the night with friends. Having a slumber party.” He looked up, pleading in his eyes. “I would never do…this…in front of them, Donna. Surely you believe that?”

Donna gently took the pictures back. “What I believe doesn’t really matter, Xander.” She said apologetically. “I have a court order to take them. I have to take them. I’m sorry.”

‘C-can you wait outside while I get them ready?” He choked out. The police looked ready to object, but Donna shook her head shortly.

“Yes, of course.” She and the officers shut the door quietly behind them, leaving Xander in shock and wondering what the hell he was going to tell the kids.

__________________________________________________________

Concerned looks met him as he pushed the kitchen door open.

“What’s wrong, Xander?” Cordy asked, setting her toast down. Xander tried to smile, but couldn’t seem to focus on her. She kept blurring. He was totally unaware of the tears slipping down his face. Lys turned white and grabbed Ellie’s hand. Nate stood up so fast that he threw his chair backwards. It clattered ominously in the silence of the room.

“Who’s taking us away?” He demanded.

Xander supported himself on the back of his chair. “That was CPS.” He began. “It seems that my parents have a court order to take the kids back while they try to prove that I’m an unfit guardian.” Silence. Then Spike erupted from his chair. Xander caught him as he was headed for the kitchen door.

“Spike,” he said softly. “This is beyond killing it to make it go away. We aren’t in your world right now. We’re in theirs.” He jerked his head towards the kids. “Remember that guy last night? The one from the rosebushes?” Spike nodded, still not looking convinced.

“He took pictures, Spike.” He stressed. “Pictures of…incriminating acts that support my parents claim.” He faced the kids. “There’s a lady outside. Her name is Donna Bartlett. She is waiting to take you to your grandparent’s house. I need you all to be strong. Be patient. I’ll figure out how to make this all go away and you’ll be back here in no time.”

He forced a smile, knowing it was a pathetic attempt. “Go get packed up. Take anything you want. music, Playstation, whatever. It’s all yours. You should have it with you. Go.” The kids stood in a daze. Nate moved away from his tipped over chair without righting it. Lys pulled Ellie down and herded her out of the kitchen.

Cordy stood too. “I’ll help the girls get packed.” She said quietly. Xander nodded a thank you and collapsed into his chair.

__________________________________________________________

“I’ll kill them.” Spike growled, game face in place. He had actually restrained himself to that point, Xander admitted wryly. He had hugged Lys and given her a kiss, tickling under her chin to make her smile through her tears. He’d roughly pulled Nate against him and whispered for the boy to be strong for his sisters. That he’d take care of Xander for them until they got back.

He swept Ellie up and clutched her desperately to his chest. He breathed in her scent and briefly vamped out in the vee of her neck to stop the tears from falling. “I love you, Ellie,” he’d whispered. And then he’d released her to her sister, his arms having never felt so empty.

But they were gone now. Spike and Angel had stood in the doorway, hating every ray of sunshine that stood between them and the kids. Xander, Cordy and Wesley had stood on the sidewalk waving goodbye to the kids. And they were gone. Now someone was going to pay for this, Spike swore.

“Spike, we can’t. We have to jump through legal hoops to get them back.” Xander said tiredly. He flinched as a plate crashed into the wall.

“Legal hoops?” Spike yelled. “I’m a Master Vampire, Xander. I’m above the law! I take what I want, when I want it. No one stands in my way!” Angel sat quietly, staring at the table. He understood the helplessness that Spike felt. And he too wanted to rip someone open for this. But he let Xander calm his mate down, knowing anything he had to say would only inflame the blonde vamp further.

“No, Spike. In this case you aren’t a Master Vampire.” Xander glared up at the infuriated man. “You aren’t invincible. You aren’t all-powerful. What you are is my illegal, gay, alien lover living in sin with me and helping me corrupt three innocent children.” He slammed his fist down on the table.

“Legally, you are nobody. You don’t even have a fucking driver’s license. As far as the state is concerned, you don’t even exist! That alone is enough to get the kids taken away. If I’m willing to let an illegal live with me, what else am I capable of?” He shoved away from the table.

“Oh, wait…I know. I’m capable of fucking said illegal alien on my fucking couch when the kids may or may not be home. And. My parents. Have. The fucking. Pictures. To. Prove. It!” Xander was, by now, screaming in his mate’s face, frustration, anger, and helplessness, all evident in his expression.

Spike’s own anger crumbled in light of his love’s pain. All that was left was the hopelessness he saw reflected in Xander’s eyes. “They took my kids, Xander.” He whispered painfully.

Xander held his arms open in an imitation of Spike’s comfort last night, and the vamp threw himself into Xander’s embrace. He buried his face in Xander’s shirt and Xander began gently rocking him. “I know, baby.” He whispered. “I know.”

Xander’s heart twisted. He held his arms out in a parody of last night. Spike buried his face in Xander’s chest. “I know, sweetheart.” He whispered back. “I know.”

The rest of the day passed in a haze. The Scooby gang appeared like magic. Spike would have been wary of the witches and their spells had he not heard Wesley on the phone whispering the circumstances to Giles. So, Xander’s original surrogate family sat in the living room, clustered around him. They comforted him and tried to cheer him up.

What bollocks. Though Spike knew that they meant well, it was bloody stupid to think a funny story remembered could dull the pain of having your children taken away. The Watchers both huddled in the kitchen nattering on about lawyers and codes and regulations. He knew they were trying to help too, but he really just wanted everyone to fuck off so he could mourn alone with Xander.

Finally, losing his patience, he headed up the stairs to Nate’s room, knowing no one would follow him. He lay on the bed and curled around Nate’s pillow, breathing in the scent of his boy. He squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in the material, letting it soak up the tears that he refused to shed in front of the others.

He felt a hand on his back and tensed. Then, he recognized the strength in the hand and the coolness of the flesh. Bloody hell, he sighed inwardly, trying to wipe away the tear on the pillowcase before he looked up. Not that it mattered. Angel could smell the misery on him.

“What, Peaches?” He rasped.

“Everyone is trying to make Xander feel better.” The older vamp said softly. “They think can guess how he feels and know what to give him in order to comfort him.” Spike snorted. He glanced up at the dark haired man standing patiently at his side and flushed at the shared sadness in the deep eyes.

“They don’t understand…can’t understand how it feels, Childe. But they are trying the only way they know how. And it makes the pain lessen if they feel they are doing something useful.”

Spike clenched his fists in the sheet. “Useful. I’ll show them useful. I should kill the bloody bastards.” Angel sat, willing to let the conversation drift over to the real reason Spike chose to be up here alone, suffering in silence.

“You should, yes.” He agreed. “But you can’t.” Spike’s eyes flashed.

“Don’t you think I know that? Do you have any idea-“ He stopped abruptly and slashed at the air with an angry hand. Angel met his furious gaze.

“Yes, Childe, I know.” He whispered. I know how it feels to have laid claim to your kin and then have them taken from you. I know how it feels to know nothing you can do can help. To know that the only thing you have to offer isn’t enough, isn’t what’s needed.” His own eyes flashed yellow and Spike stared into them, transfixed.

“I know, Wil.” I know the helplessness, the hurt…”

“Sire, I…”

“Shhhh.” Angel placed a finger on Spike’s lips. Sweet, sweet lips that belonged to another. His boy was no longer his. He’d lost him, lost his claim on him long ago. Wil ceased to be his when Angelus was caged, when he had to leave his boy and Dru because he lost that which made him a proper sire. When he gained that which allowed him to feel the agony his Childe was feeling now. What a trade.

Even though Angel hated the circumstances that brought them to this point in time, a small part of him reveled in the feeling of his boy in his arms, needing him again. He drew Spike’s head into his lap, giving the younger man a tiny bit of privacy to grieve, and carded his fingers through soft blonde hair.

He set up a sub-vocal purr that resonated through both of their bodies and let his boy cry himself to sleep.

____________________________________________________

“Well, we’re ready,” Cordy said quietly. Quiet was the word of the day. The whole house would have resembled a mortuary, everyone whispering, somber words, dark clothing. She sighed as Xander just nodded in reply as he sat on the couch staring vacantly at the coffee table in front of him.

Shaking her head, she moved to hug Willow and Buffy goodbye. She took the shyly offered hand Tara held out and pulled the blonde into a hug as well. Kissing Dawn on the forehead, she tapped the perky nose that was still red from crying, and then kissed Giles on the cheek.

Wesley shook hands with everyone and Angel hugged everyone but Giles, to whom he gave a warm smile. As Angel stepped back, he glanced across the room and raised an eyebrow. “Spike?” Xander sat up, confused as Spike nodded and hoisted a bag over his shoulder. The vamp walked to the side of the couch and looked down at Xander.

“Spike? What’s going on?” Xander asked, fear turning his voice into a whisper.

“I’m leaving with Angel.” Spike replied quietly. Xander stood up.

“What are you talking about? Why?” A hint of desperation began to color his speech. Spike ran a hand through his hair.

“Look, Xan. This is my fault.” Xander tried to protest, but Spike overrode him. “No. Listen to me, luv. If I were a woman, this would be bad enough. But, I’m not.” He smiled wanly. “I’m your illegal alien, male, gay lover.” Xander visibly flinched. “I can’t do anything here, Xander. My normal methods of solving problems won’t work. My presence is damnation enough for your parents. If I stay, I’ll just give them more ammunition. Xander, if I stay, you’ll never get your kids back.”

Xander shook his head violently. “No. No, Spike. You can go back to the crypt, or move in with someone else. You can get your own place! You don’t have to leave. LA is so far away.” He concluded forlornly. Spike dropped his bag and took Xander by the shoulders.

“Xander, I’m weak. I can’t stay here. I can’t stay near you. Anywhere in this town is too close.” He squeezed Xander’s shoulders until the warning twinge from his chip began to buzz. “I can’t be near you and not be with you.” His eyes pleaded for understanding. “I want you, Xander. I want you in my bed, in my life. I want to wake up next to you every morning. I want to kiss you and soothe you to sleep at night. I want it all.”

Xander blinked rapidly, but it didn’t stop the tear from slipping silently down his cheek. Spike winced when he saw it and gently raised a hand to brush it away. “I want to be with you, Xander. And if you want those kids back, I can’t be. I’m not strong enough to stay away from you. So I have to go.”

Spike wanted to crush the boy to him and swear he’d never leave him, promise he’d never make him feel this way again. But he forced himself to let go of Xander’s arms and take a step back. A sob broke from Xander’s lips. “You said you couldn’t live without me.” He nearly whimpered.

“I said I didn’t want to live without you, Xander.” He corrected. “I never said I couldn’t.” With that final sentence, he watched something die in his love’s eyes. Felt something wither inside of his own chest. “I will live without you, as long as I know that you and those kids are safe and together.” He finished.

Calling himself seven kinds of bloody stupid, he none-the-less leaned forward and tasted Xander’s lips one last time. He felt the boy sob against him and parted his lips to take in the sorrow. Caressing that velvet tongue with his own, he nearly threw himself at Xander and begged to be forgiven.

Steeling himself, he pulled away and lifted his bag again. “I love you.” He whispered, and walked out the door.

____________________________________________________

Xander stared at the closed door, tears streaming down his cheeks, but no comprehension in his eyes. Willow tentatively moved forward and touched his arm. He looked at her, and the bewilderment in his eyes crushed her heart. “He left, Willow.” He said, childlike. “Why does everyone always leave me?” Willow flung herself into his arms and fiercely embraced him, trying to show him all the love she felt in her heart.

“They forced my sister to run away; they hit me, they hated me, they told me everyday that I was a worthless mistake; they took my kids away, now they’ve driven away the only person I’ve ever really loved.” He looked across the room and caught Tara’s eye.

“Am I a bad person?” He asked confusedly. “Is that why they hate me so much? Is that why they can’t let me be happy?” Tara shook her head soundlessly, drowning in the pain she saw in his eyes. Aren’t your parents supposed to love you? But, mine don’t. They never did. Why am I so unlovable my parents don’t even want me?”

Tara rushed to embrace him too, followed by Buffy and Dawn. Giles hesitantly placed his arms around his ‘children’ and prayed to the Powers That Be to show some mercy this time.

____________________________________________________

If Cordy had thought the mood was morbid before, she was sadly mistaken. Angel handed the car keys to Wesley and motioned for Cordy to sit in the front seat. She shot a glance at Spike and saw an emotionless, barren face just before he climbed in the backseat with Angel.

They had been driving for maybe 10 minutes when she heard the first choked whimper. She glanced at Wesley out of the corner of her eye and saw his slight headshake. She kept her eyes on the road in front of her, pretending she didn’t hear the heart-wrenching agony being cried out in the lap of the older vampire.

The Scoobies sat at the tables in the Magic Shoppe, under the pretense of research, but actually watching Xander stare at nothing as he reclined on the couch. Giles gently placed onto the table the book he had been pretending to read. “Ladies, I’m open for suggestions.” He murmured.

Buffy shook her head. “I don’t have any, Giles. I don’t know what to do.”

Willow shut her book as well. “How did the meeting with his boss go?” Giles nodded shortly.

“Quite well. I think it helped a great deal that the woman who took the children away is married to his supervisor. He was very understanding and put Xander on an extended leave. His job will be waiting for him when he wants it.”

Tara looked sadly over at the brunette on the couch. “I think that may be a while.” Giles sighed.

“I took the liberty of retaining a lawyer for him. I hope he won’t mind.”

Willow smiled slightly, “I’m sure he won’t mind, Giles. Let me know if your lawyer needs any background stuff about Xander or Aly or his parents. I have a ton of stories. You should also have him check the hospital records for the number of times Xander was admitted with ‘unexplained injuries’ as a child.”

Giles returned her smile. “Excellent idea, Willow. I certainly will take advantage of your suggestion and your offer. Has anyone heard from Spike, lately?” He continued. Willow nodded.

“Cordy got him hooked up online and he and I talk every day. He’s having rage attacks that he can’t explain and can’t control. He usually emails me right after one, or talks to me on ICQ. We’re working on…something.” She flushed under Giles’ scrutiny. “What? It’s not magical.”

“I see. Is it illegal?” He looked at her over the top of his glasses. She raised her chin.

“Do you really want me to answer that?” Giles grinned.

“No, not really.” The girls giggled, the oppressing weight of the last few weeks forgotten for a moment.

“How about the kids?” Tara asked. “Has anyone heard about them?” Dawn raised her hand to get their attention.

“I can help you out there,” she lowered her voice even further. “Lys looks horrible. She’s lost a lot of weight and she looks weak and sad all the time. She almost always has this pinched look on her face like something is hurting her. She says hi in the hallway, but avoids me if it looks like I might want to talk.”

Concerned murmurs rumbled around the table. “I don’t know about Ellie, but Nate…” she shuddered, “Nate is messing up big time. He’s in the principal’s office nearly every day. He picks fights, refuses to do work, and he’s gotten suspended 3 times that I know of in the last month. I heard the rumor that the police are waiting for another mess up and they’ll be putting him in juvenile detention for a long while.”

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­________________________________________________________

Lys felt her body tremble as another shared panic/pain vision ripped through her. Ellie moaned into her pillow in the corner, having learned early on that the elder Harris’s became physically violent if disturbed by terrified howling from the tiny room Ellie and Lys shared upstairs.

Ellie’s visions were getting worse. They’d driven her into nearly a catatonic state. Lys could barely make it through a single day without getting lost in the emotions generated from her sister’s visions. Ellie was developing the skill of blocking the actual pain she felt, for which Lys was alternately concerned and pathetically grateful. However, she couldn’t do anything about the feelings that pain evoked. The only time Lys was free was at school.

She felt terribly guilty about that. She was desperate to get to school everyday, to get away from her baby sister. What kind of loving sister can I be if I can’t stand to be around her much less taking care of her when she’s like that? Not that Ellie wanted to be taken care of. She refused to be touched by anyone, including her brother and sister. She hadn’t talked in nearly two weeks.

And Nate. Oh, God, Nate. All she could pick up off of him anymore was rage/hatred/despair.  It hurt to be in the same room with him almost as much as to be with Ellie. Luckily…or not…he was seldom around. She knew he was getting himself into a great deal of trouble, with the Harris’s, the school authorities, and the police, but she was afraid she’d lose her mind if she had to take on his pain too.

The Harris’s were the worst. Sure, they gave them a room to sleep in and food to eat. But everything Xander and Spike had gotten for them was either thrown out or sold immediately, with the brusque explanation that ‘things were different around here.’ Neither Harris spoke with them. She couldn’t remember the last time they talked this week to the kids that didn’t include a gripe about something done wrong.

And the feelings they put off…hate/irritation/greedy glee/selfish possessiveness. It was awful. Lys didn’t even pick up a single friendly emotion towards each other.  Not that she felt she could handle a friendly emotion from them. The idea that there were people who were happy somewhere else made her want to cry. Every time she saw Dawn at school, she ran the other way. She knew the sad/pity/hope she could feel from a hallway away would send her over the edge if Dawn got too near her. And if not that, then the happy-my-life-is-nothing-like-yours emotions would.

Ellie started thrashing and Lys doubled over, trying not to throw up. She couldn’t take it anymore.

________________________________________________________

Nate glared insolently at the juvenile officer in front of him who was writing on a notepad. Scritch. Scritch. The pen made it’s way through one line and started on another.

[Poor kid. You hate to lose them to fate. Maybe if his parents hadn’t died. Maybe if his sicko uncle hadn’t had sex in front of him. Maybe he could have been saved.]

Nate narrowed his gaze. “Fuck you.” He snarled. The officer looked up in surprise.

“Excuse me?”

Nate curled a lip. “You heard me. And I heard you.” The officer looked confused, but shook his head and went back to writing. Scritch. Scritch.

[Well, this one is going to have a head start on prison. Snotty little bastard. Maybe I should bunk him with Mark. Maybe that’ll teach him some humility. Or get the living shit kicked out of him. Snicker. Either way works for me.]

Nate rolled his eyes. If he knew where exactly the spot in his head was that allowed him to hear other’s thoughts, he would have dug it out with his bare hands. He knew he was a fucked up kid. He knew most everyone felt sorry for him. Hell, that was why he started with the badass routine in the first place. He got tired of ‘hearing’ their platitudes.

Now, he didn’t know, though. He felt bad enough about himself as it was, it was a living hell to ‘hear’ everyone around you, even those who were supposed to be ‘there for him’ think what a worthless piece of shit you were.

[Nate?]

He started in surprise. He knew his sister’s mind voice when he heard it. After all, he’d been avoiding the house as much for not wanting to hear how close to the edge of a breakdown she was as he had been for hearing how much the Harris’s hated them all.

[Nate? Can you hear me? Never mind. I know you can. I also know you can’t answer me. Which is good. You’d just talk me out of it. I can’t let you do that.] Nate sat up straighter. What the hell kind of stupid thing was she about to do?

[I’m leaving, Nate. I can’t stay here anymore. I just can’t. I’m sorry I let you down. Let Ellie down. But I’m losing my mind. I have to get away. Don’t come looking for me. Don’t tell anyone you heard me say anything. I love you. I love Ellie, too. Please take care of her. Bye big brother.]

And she was gone.

________________________________________________________

Angel winced as another plate hit the wall. He was going to have to remind Cordy to buy another set. Crash. Of course at the rate Spike was hurling them against the wall, maybe he’d better ask her to pick up some paper plates. He settled down with his paper and tried tuning his Childe out. He’d learned early on to avoid Spike at all costs during one of his rage attacks.

They were unexplained. He would be chatting nicely with one of them and the next second he was flying off the handle and trashing everything not nailed down in the room. He couldn’t be reasoned with, hell, he couldn’t be spoken to. He spoke in incomprehensible growls and snarls and seemed determined to eradicate anything that stood in the way of exorcizing his fury.

The worst part was when he looked at you and you felt the most intense desire to run. Then, having left the room, realized that your Childe, a vampire 100 years your junior, just frightened you away with his mind.

Just as quickly as it would begin, the attack would end. Spike was wrung out and as easily manipulated as a child after that. He apologized for everything he broke, everyone he frightened, everything he did. He would get a broom and silently clean up the evidence of his loss of control, then barricade himself in his room and type on the computer for hours.

Angel lay back on the headrest of the chair and sighed. My poor, poor Childe.

________________________________________________________

“Spike! Spike, I’m coming in.” Angel announced firmly as he threw open the door. His superior eyesight picked out the other vamp lying on the bed, arm thrown over his eyes.

“What, Peaches. I’m brooding here. You of all people should respect that.”

“Willow just called me. Lys was admitted to an LA hospital a few hours ago.”

Spike shot up off of the bed. “What the fuck is she doing in LA?” He demanded.

Angel shrugged. “Apparently, she ran away. No one missed her for several days until the school called looking for her. They still had Xander’s name down as guardian, so they called the house.”

Spike began a low growl. “Those fucking pricks didn’t even notice she was missing?” Angel shook his head, pretty sure which ‘fucking pricks’ Spike referred to.

“They said she was home every night and must have been just skipping school. Willow called Nate and found out that she told him goodbye via the link about 4 days ago.” Angel paused. “Nate is in juvenile detention.” Spike stared at him in disbelief.

“And these are the people CPS thinks can take better care of the kids than Xander?” he asked incredulously.

Angel sighed. “It’s worse than that. Come on, we can make it through the tunnels into the underground parking lot of the hospital. I’ll tell you everything the Sunnydale gang has found out.”

________________________________________________________

Spike nearly broke his hand punching the concrete wall when he found out that the police were bringing Nate and Ellie to LA since the Harris’s were ‘unable to make the trip.’ He raged for 10 blocks when Angel informed him that Lys was in the hospital for a drug overdose. Eventually, Angel threw him up against the wall and ordered him to calm down or he wouldn’t take him to see Lys.

A docile Spike followed his Sire into the hospital and to the nurse’s station. Angel was wishing for infuriated Spike nearly 30 minutes later as the nurse on duty informed them that she couldn’t allow anyone who was not family into the room. She high-handedly referred to a list on her counter, which she stated held all the names of the family members allowed to see the teenager.

Mid lecture, she stopped and stared at Spike. She began trembling and Angel quickly glanced at the other vampire to see if he’d gone into game face in his irritation. He saw nothing but blue eyes fixed firmly on the nurse’s green ones. In a moment, she nodded and picked up the paper in question. Without hesitation, she scrawled ‘William Harris, Angel, Dawn and Buffy Summers, Willow Rosenberg, Tara McClay, and Rupert Giles’ underneath Anthony and Jessica Harris, Alexander Harris, Nate and Ellie Harris.

Spike released her gaze and she swayed. Angel caught her and helped her to her chair. She thanked him for being such a considerate young man and ushered them right in when they told her their names again. Angel kept taking sidelong glances at Spike down the hall.

“What the hell are you staring at me for, Peaches?” Spike growled as they walked. Angel grinned. Spike tried to ignore him, but after a moment, grinned back and shrugged modestly. They stopped in front of the closed door to Lys’s room and Spike took a deep breath. Pasting a smile on his face, he pushed the door open.

Spike winced as he saw the maze of tubes and wires surrounding his little girl. He moved silently forward and gazed into her face. She slept. The lines of worry were not as evident, but Spike could still see the faint remnants of them even as her face relaxed in sleep. He leaned on the bed and gently kissed her clammy forehead.

Settling into a comfortable position, he began stroking her hair as he stared, still and silent, into her young face. Angel didn’t know what he was looking for; answers? Affirmation? But he sincerely hoped his Spike would find it. He pulled up a chair and sat next to the doorway, protecting his Childe and his grandchild from interruptions.

________________________________________________

Buffy tried to ignore the constant presence of the police as they walked from the parking lot to the nurse’s station. She was continually reminded of being on the run from the police after Kendra’s death and then after the Faith debacle. Buffy kept darting nervous glances at them until Willow pushed her to the rear of the line where they couldn’t make eye contact.

Willow had been mother-henning everyone for the last few hours. Tara and Dawn could only smile indulgently at her as she told Giles how to drive and manipulated Buffy around the police. Willow had been the one to force Xander to shower and shave before leaving; telling him the hospital wouldn’t let him in looking and smelling like he did. She had been the one to remind him to bring his insurance papers and Lys’s medical history.

Willow was the one who drove them to the police station to meet the officers that were transporting Nate and Ellie. She was the one that convinced the police to allow them to follow them to LA and to allow Xander to have supervised contact with the kids when they were at the hospital. Tara knew it was all to keep her mind off of how terrified she was of losing Lys.

Tara didn’t blame her. She loved the teenaged girl also. Not to mention that if Lys died, they lost Xander too. Tara saw the pain in Xander’s eyes as the police ushered Nate and Ellie to the patrol car. The police had obviously not told the kids that the scoobies were going to be in the car behind them. They kids walked out of the station dragging their feet. Ellie shied away from the officer’s helping hands, even avoiding Nate. Nate just shuffled to the car, head down, and flung himself into the seat, slumping dejectedly as soon as the seatbelt was fastened.

By the time they parked in the hospital lot, Xander was practically vibrating with the need to hold his kids. He fell out of the car and hovered around the patrol car. The officers stepped out of their vehicle with wary looks on their faces. One stood at the ready, watching Xander’s every move as the other opened the back of the squad car.

Nate pushed himself out of the car first and leaned against it, waiting for the officer’s iron grip to take hold of his arm. Ellie crawled out next and she jerked violently away from the officer’s outstretched hand. She stood huddled against the car, staring at the ground. Officer Mark Grey of the Sunnydale Police Department clenched his jaw as he cursed, for the 100^th time since they left SunnyD, the people who’d done this to these kids.

He stepped back, holding his hands up in a non-threatening way. He glanced at his partner, Officer John Thompson, and signaled that the kids were out. Thompson nodded and motioned for Xander to move forward. Grey stood ready to defend the kids from this ‘monster’ as the grandparents had called him. He was looking forward to slamming him into the pavement and putting him into a chokehold if he so much as looked cross-eyed at the kids.

He was surprised to see the ‘monster’ approach the kids with cautious care. Xander stopped a good 10 feet away and forced his face into a smile. “Hey, guys,” He called softly. Nate’s head jerked up and he looked around, wide-eyed until his eyes lit on Xan. His eyes filled with tears and he just stared for long moments. Ellie had no such trepidations.

She let out a squeal and darted across the interspersing distance, faster than the police who tried to stop her. Xander dropped to his knees and held out his arms. Ellie hit them with the speed of a freight train. As Xander closed them around her, the tears came. She sobbed in his arms, weakly hanging from his neck. He raised his eyes and met Nate’s gaze over Ellie’s head.

Nate sucked in a ragged breath. “I-is it really you, Uncle Xan?” He whispered, the agony in his voice causing tears to sting the bystander’s eyes. Xan nodded.

“Yes, Nate. It’s me.” Xander smiled.

//I swear, Nate. It’s me.// He added, casting his thoughts out toward the boy. The words hit Nate like a physical blow. The boy screwed his face up and took a tiny step in Xander’s direction. He stopped and looked at Grey. The older man just smiled and nodded his head toward the boy’s sister and uncle. Nate didn’t ask twice. He ran.

Xander pulled one arm away from Ellie to tug Nate into their embrace. Nate threw one arm around Xander and one around Ellie. They knelt there in a tangled pile for long minutes. The scoobies were expecting it, but Grey and Thompson blinked repeatedly as a pale green glow emanated from the little group. They waited silently until Xander gently dislodged them both with a smile.

“C’mon guys. Let’s go see your sister.” He picked Ellie up, cradling her in one arm as he put his other arm around Nate’s shoulders. Nate slipped his around Xan’s waist in response and they led the way to the elevator.

___________________________________________________________

Spike refused to move even for the nurse. After a pointed glare from his icy blue eyes, the woman wisely chose to work from the other side of the bed. Angel was ushered out of the room as the poking and prodding began, but no power in heaven or hell was going to move Spike, so Angel lurked alone in the hallway. He looked up as the elevator dinged and a smile broke over his face as Xander exited, carrying Ellie and holding Nate.

He closed the distance between them in a few strides and held out his arms. Ellie’s tiny face radiated joy as she launched herself from Xander’s arms into Angel’s. He rocked her, briefly withdrawing a hand to tousle Nate’s hair. Nate responded with a grin, but didn’t let go of his Uncle. Angel furrowed his brow as the officers exited the elevator behind Xander.

They looked rather shell-shocked, Angel thought, and then went back to hugging Ellie. “Spike is in with Lys.” He murmured through a mouthful of dark curls. Xander paled. 

“ Is she-?”

Angel shook his head. “She’s fine. He just hasn’t left her side the whole time he’s been here.” Xander visibly relaxed.

He turned to the hospital room’s door and took a deep breath. Then he pushed it open. Through the door, he saw Spike sitting next to the bed, eyes closed, head next to Lys’s side. Lys had her eyes open and she was gently petting her Uncle Wil’s hair. When she saw Xander, her eyes lit up and she beckoned him closer.

“Shhhh…he hasn’t slept in forever.” She whispered. Xander nodded and moved to her other side. He pulled her close, mindful of the IV tubes and monitoring wires.

“I missed you so much, baby.” He choked.

“I missed you too, Uncle Xan.”

“I’m so sorry, Lys. I-“

“Shhhhh.” She repeated. “It’s okay. You’re here now. It’s going to be all okay now.” Xander shuddered and didn’t have the heart to tell her how wrong she was.

“Xander?”

Xander looked up at the confused voice and saw bleary blue eyes blinking owlishly at him. He smiled. “Hi, Spike. You look like shit.” Spike snorted and sat up.

“Well, luv, you don’t look much better.” Lys lay quietly, smiling, listening to her uncles’ banter with each other and feeling more contented than she had in weeks.

“The kids are outside.” Xander nodded his head towards the hallway. Spike perked up immediately, but looked to Lys first. She grinned.

“Get out of here. Go see them. You’ve lived by my bedside for the last 24 hours. I think I won’t fade away into nothing if you’re gone for 10 minutes.” Spike kissed her forehead and, with a tiny smile for Xander, headed to the hall.

He nearly growled when he saw Nate sitting in-between two cops. But he caught himself just as Nate looked up at him. The boy didn’t even look to the officers this time. He flung himself from his seat and raced across the hall. Spike took his weight full on and lifted the boy from his feet. He knew he must have been hurting him as hard as he was holding him, but Nate didn’t make a peep. Spike clutched the teenager and rocked him. He felt warm wetness seeping into his dusterless shoulder and lay a kiss on the side of Nate’s neck.

“I missed you, boy.” He whispered roughly. Nate just nodded fiercely against Spike’s shoulder. Finally, his grip loosened and Spike let him slide to the floor. He shielded him from the other’s vision as the boy wiped his eyes. Not that it mattered. Nate’s eyes were red and wet and his nose was stuffed and swollen. It was obvious he’d been crying, but Spike tried to give him a bit of dignity.

Ellie squirmed in Angel’s arms and the older vamp set the little girl on the ground. She bounced over to Spike, who knelt with a grin and swooped her up in his arms. “Hey there, Ellie luv. My lap’s been awful empty without you around.” He chucked her under the chin. She frowned up at him.

“Aren’t there any other little girls to sit in your lap?” she questioned. Spike shook his head.

“Nope, honey. I’ve been living with Grampa Angel. There aren’t any little girls there. And even if there were…” He looked her in the eye; “You have first call on my lap at all times.” She smiled happily.

“Why are you living with Grampa Angel? Why aren’t you living with Uncle Xander?”

An uncomfortable silence filled the room. Spike cleared his throat and tried not to look at the police officers. “Well, sweetness, your gramma and grampa Harris said Uncle Xan and I weren’t very good parents. They said it had to do with us being two boys who lived together.”

Ellie scrunched up her nose. “Cause you and Uncle Xander are gay?”

Silence again. Then Spike laughed wryly. “Yes, honey, that’s it exactly. How do you know that word?”

She looked at him with the disgust only a five-year-old could generate. “I know lots of words.”

Spike nodded seriously. “I’m sure you do, poppet. I’m sure you do. Uncle Xander is trying to get you back from your grandparents. But if I stay with him, it will be that much harder for him to do. So…I left.”

Ellie looked confused. “But…why? I want to live with you both. I love you.”

Spike winced. “I love you too, poppet. And I love Nate and Lys…And I love Uncle Xan.” He finished quietly. “But you three kids are what’s most important right now. Getting you back is first above all else. I can always visit sometimes.”

Tears welled up in Ellie’s eyes. “But if you love us why would you leave us?”

Spike pulled Ellie close to his and buried his face in her curls. “Ellie-luv, I love you kids more than anything in my world. But my being with Uncle Xan is keeping you with your grandparents. I can’t stand that. I need to know you’re safe. I need to know you’re with someone who loves you. And I’m sorry…but if I have to go away to make that happen, then that’s what I have to do.”

Ellie’s little body shook with tears and Spike sank to the floor, rocking her on his lap. Nate crept up beside Spike and the vampire freed an arm to pull him into their huddle. They sat silently, clutching each other, for a long time.

_____________________________________________________

Xander leaned against Lys’s bed. “Baby, I don’t know what to say.” He whispered. “Why would you do this? Drugs? You never even tried a drug before…now you’re in the hospital for an overdose?” Lys looked ashamed.

“Uncle Xander, it’s not the drugs. I’m not an addict. I swear.” Her eyes pleaded for understanding. Xander nodded and sat on the side of her bed.

“Okay. I believe you. So, tell me what it is.”

Lys took a deep breath. “It’s Ellie. And Grandma and Grandpa Harris. And Nate. And everyone on the street. It’s the misery, the pain, the hopelessness.” She clenched her fists in the sheet. “I couldn’t block anyone out anymore, Uncle Xan. Ellie kept having horrible visions. Nate was full of anger and hate all the time. Grandma and Grandpa Harris hated us. They hated everything about us. I never felt even one happy emotion around either of them.”

She locked eyes on Xander. “I couldn’t take it anymore. So I ran away from it. Nate knew. He knew why I went. He feels it too. I think that’s why he’s so angry all the time. He can hear them say the things I can only feel. So I went to LA. But I didn’t have any money. I stayed in a homeless shelter for a few days, but…” she shuddered. “Everyone is so full of hopelessness. It’s like they’ve totally given up. It made me want to give up too. So I left.”

She started picking at the blanket fuzz. “I met up with some girls in an alley I…was staying in. They were on something. They felt so happy, so at ease with everything. I wanted to know how to feel that again. They offered some to me. I still don’t have a clue what I took. But I took it. They were so high, they didn’t even realize how much they were giving me, I think. But I took too much.”

Her eyes took on a dreamy cast. “It was good though. Not the drug, or even the feeling the drug gave me…but the lack of feeling I had. I could only feel myself for the first time in…well, in a long time. I wanted to stay there forever. Just forget about mom and dad dying, about the Harris grandparents from hell, about my little sister slowly losing her mind to visions she didn’t understand, about my brother raging and hating and lashing out at everyone because no one had a kind thought for him.”

She lay back against her pillow, exhausted, and closed her eyes. “I thought that was the closest I would ever get to peace again.” She whispered, and then smiled. “It may have been the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, Uncle Xan…but it brought us back together. I can feel us, all of us. We’re together again. The pain is gone. It’s gone, Uncle Xan…It’s…gone.”

Xander began to panic, then looked at the heart monitor, beeping steadily, and realized that she just finally felt safe and comfortable enough to fall asleep. “My beautiful Lys.” He whispered, bringing her hand up to his lips. “I promise you, Alyssa, I will get you back. You and Nate and Ellie…and goddammit, Spike too. We’ll be a family again. I swear.”

_____________________________________________________

Two days later, the doctors pronounced Lys well enough to be released. Spike and Xander had taken turns at her side for the past 48 hours, not just so she would always have someone with her, but also because it allowed them to avoid each other. They didn’t spend more than 30 seconds at a time in each other’s company. The pain was blatantly real. Even to those not close to the boys.

Officers Grey and Thompson had taken to lounging at the other end of the waiting room. Their job was to make sure that Nate didn’t run and Ellie was properly cared for while in LA. It was obvious after the first hour that nothing on heaven or earth was going to move Nate from his ‘Uncles’ sides, and Ellie was being spoiled rotten. Her feet hadn’t touched the ground once in the last day and a half.

So, they sat and watched the dynamic of the group in front of them. Their conclusion? Jessica and Tony Harris were full of shit. They hadn’t liked the elder Harris couple. You didn’t spend as many years on the force as Grey and Thompson had without developing a sixth sense for dishonesty. And the Harris’s were about as dishonest as they came. But they had to follow orders, and so they herded two horribly unhappy children into a car and drove hours away to let them visit their sister. A sister who would rather run away with no money and overdose herself on drugs than stay home one more minute.

They were prepared to dislike Alexander Harris and his boyfriend. They were prepared to be disgusted at the sexual antics of two gay men performing in front of three juveniles. They were prepared for nearly anything. Anything but what happened. This Xander Harris wasn’t a pervert. He honestly seemed to love and care for the kids as though they were his own. The officers could see the guilt and fear in his every move, but he tried to paste on a cheery face for the kids. He never lied to them, but he tried to be as positive about the whole situation as possible.

Grey and Thompson appreciated that. Too often the adult treated the kids like they were pets; too stupid to realize something was wrong. Things were sugar coated, bribes were made to stop the crying. But those things never happened. Even the other one, Spike…what the hell kind of name was Spike anyway?…he treated them like little people, not ‘kids.’

He was an enigma, that one. He looked like the last person on earth to be gay, but the love he felt for he Harris boy was not questionable. Every time they looked at each other, sparks flared. They didn’t hang on each other or suck face like the officers had expected. The men barely even touched each other. They had shaken hands in the hallway after Xander came out of Lys’s room. Grey watched their hands tremble as they touched, but they smiled for the rest of the group and then moved apart.

They hadn’t touched since. Grey was pretty sure they wanted to. Not to kiss, or grope…no, they just looked like they needed to glean comfort from each other, like they were from the kids. But neither acted on it. He knew it was because of him and Thompson. He knew that the two men wanted to show them that the kids weren’t in danger from any illicit sex shows, but Grey almost wished they would hold each other. The waves of need emanating from both of them were intense.

Thompson was amazed at the kids’ recuperative powers. He watched a teenaged hooligan on the road to prison do a complete 180-degree turn. They boy was now curled up next to the blonde boyfriend animatedly reading a motorcycle magazine with him. He had smiled more in the last 10 minutes than the entire week he’d been in custody. That Spike guy…Spike?…Had given the boy a right good ass-chewing, too. He lectured him for nearly 15 minutes straight, not allowing the boy to speak, on how stupid the boy’s actions of the last few weeks were. Then he hugged him and they sat down together to talk about the boy’s reasons and how he was planning to put this behind him.

And the little girl. She refused to be touched, by anyone. She wouldn’t speak. She just sat, still and silent, like a vegetable. Now, she was lying on the floor, coloring with a large man in a leather jacket who looked all of 25 yet responded to Grampa. She laughed, she smiled, she talked. She even manipulated Grampa into buying her an ice cream before lunch. Angel had looked guilty, but not apologetic when Xander had walked out to find Ellie with vanilla ice cream smeared on her face.

Xander had sternly lectured Angel about snacks before lunch and how, as an adult, Angel should know better. Xander then turned to Ellie and frowned. The little girl had looked innocently up at him and blinked her big brown eyes. Xander sighed and knelt down to wipe her face off with a napkin. He kissed her sticky nose and stood back up. Glaring at a grinning Angel he pointed a warning finger and went to get a wet cloth.

The girl in the hospital, Lys, had not originally been given a very promising outlook. The police were told to let Nate and Ellie know that their sister was in a really bad way and were told to keep the other kids away from her if she got too tired. Yet, as soon as she saw everyone together, she’d begun improving immediately. Thompson could hear laughter ringing through the closed door at nearly anytime of the day, no matter which family member was in there.

The officers talked it over between each other. How was it that these people were so bad for the kids? How was it that these people were the ‘bad guys’ when they brought back the spark of light that those grandparents had nearly extinguished. Coming to a decision, they placed a call to their captain.

­_________________________________________________

Xander had mixed feelings. He was thrilled that Lys was better, that her healing had skyrocketed as soon as the pentacle had been together. But…what now? What happened when she went ‘home’? They’d be back to square one. Granted, Spike had managed to talk some sense into Nate. Xander was pretty sure the boy was going the straight and narrow from now on. Spike was capable of painting very scary pictures when the need arose. Buffy said that even the police turned white at some of the things Spike alluded to.

Ellie and Lys had promised to talk about the visions and to call Willow and Tara whenever it became too much. But the problem still remained…was it enough? Would that be enough contact to keep them sane? To keep them all sane?

Finally, the hour of Lys’s release arrived. Xander wheeled her out of the hospital room and out to the parking lot. Angel carried Ellie and Spike walked with his arm around Nate. The other scoobies trailed along behind, trying not to cry. Just before getting in the squad car, Grey and Thompson pulled Giles aside. They talked for a bit, handed Giles a sheaf of papers and got into the squad car with grins.

Giles hurried back to the group with a slightly bewildered, yet thrilled look on his face. “What is it, Giles?” Buffy asked for them all. Giles waved the papers in the air and then picked up Buffy in a huge bone-crushing hug. Buffy blinked owlishly in astonishment at her normally staid Watcher. As soon as he set Buffy down, he repeated his gesture with Willow. Before he set her down, he planted a smacking kiss on her forehead.

Willow’s expression cause giggles to escape from nearly everyone. Even Spike looked as though he were fighting a grin. “Umm…Giles? Are you feeling okay?” Willow asked, touching her forehead warily, as though whatever it was could be catching.

“You did it, Willow!’ Giles nearly shouted. “You and Spike did it!”

“What? What did we do?”

Giles thrust the papers at her and turned to look at the others. “Willow has been working with Spike everyday compiling a Harris history of abuse and unsafe parenting from the police, the hospital, witnesses, etc. They looked up case after case on the Internet, documenting and cross referencing everything and then turned it all in to CPS and the Sunnydale police.”

Willow began grinning as she continued to read. Buffy growled, causing Spike to give her a grateful look. “And?”

“And, based on the information in that report and the report those two officers,” he pointed behind him to the squad car, “just gave their superiors…CPS has revised their decision to place the children with Xander’s parents.”

The kids looked at each other, practically glowing. Xander and Spike looked as though it all might fall apart in the next moment. “Granted, the charges against Xander still need to be addressed,” Giles continued, “so going home is not an option. Instead, they have appointed a neutral third party, with some knowledge of the children, as a foster guardian until the case is settled.”

“So? Who is the guardian?” Buffy demanded.

Willow threw herself at Giles and wrapped her arms around him. “It’s Giles!” She laughed into his jacket. “They appointed Giles!”

Tara looked confused. “Um, didn’t they say that spending time at the Magick Shop was bad for the kids? How is it that Giles, the owner, can be appointed their guardian?”

Giles peeked out over the top of Willow’s head. “The police pointed out to CPS that my ‘Wicca religion’ was my constitutional right. The Harris’s were forced to withdraw the morality complaint. The only thing left is the…errr…the um, picture…thing.” He faltered to a halt, turning red.

Dawn snorted. “That’s dealt with easily enough. There are plenty of witnesses that can claim they hadn’t screwed before then, and that Nate, Lys and Ellie were out of the house at the time.” 

“Dawnie!” Buffy said shocked. Dawn rolled her eyes.

“Whatever.”

_____________________________________________

Three weeks later found Giles and Xander ushering Nate, Ellie and Lys into a Family Court courtroom. The girls came in a few minutes later with a still smoking Spike under an umbrella of the girls’ trench coats. He had actually worn a suit. Buffy took the liberty of closing the blinds in the courtroom. Giles looked thoroughly humiliated when the bailiff stepped up and asked her what she was doing, and she glared at him.

She announced that her friend was very photosensitive and it was possible to get burns from direct sunlight. She demanded to know if this weren’t a public building and shouldn’t they accommodate the public? Tara maneuvered her away from the rapidly disintegrating situation. She apologized for her friend and after 2 minutes of smiling and chatting with Tara, the bailiff shut all of the blinds and went to get Tara a cup of water.

Tara blushed at the smirk Spike gave her as she sat down, but held her head high. She was grateful, however, when officers Grey and Thompson entered the courtroom. Xander stood to shake hands with them and offer his thanks for getting his kids out of the Harris house. Not too long afterwards, Jessica and Tony Harris entered. The chill was obvious. The kids shut down immediately. They stopped laughing and poking each other and hunkered in their seats, purposefully not making eye contact.

Jessica headed straight for Xander, seeming to ignore the fact that there were two policemen in uniform. “You little bastard.” She hissed. “You’d do anything to get your hands on that money, wouldn’t you?”

Xander put his hands in his pockets deliberately, trying to look as non-threatening as possible. “Mom.” He said calmly. “How are you?” Jessica bared her teeth and slapped him. The sound of her hand cracking against his cheek was startlingly loud in the hush of the courtroom. Spike growled and surged to his feet. Xander managed to get a hand out of his pocket before the vampire lunged at the woman and place it on Spike’s chest.

Grey and Thompson each grabbed one of Jessica’s arms and jerked her away from Xander.

“Congratulations, Mrs. Harris.” Grey said with a slight smile. “You’re under arrest for assault.”

Tony Harris charged like a bull. He aimed for his son, but with his head ducked down, he didn’t notice Thompson intervene. He took Thompson in the stomach. He and the officer went down in a heap with Tony screaming threats the whole way. “I’ll kill you! You little faggot! You’ll never get those kids! I’ll make sure you never get them if I have to get rid of them!”

With the help of the bailiff, Thompson managed to throw Harris off and flip him over onto his face. He roughly cuffed him and hauled him to his feet. He then dragged Tony Harris out of the courtroom with a chuckling Grey right behind him. As soon as the door shut behind them, Xander was heading for the kids, Spike right behind him.

They pulled their kids into an embrace and sank to the ground to include Ellie. As they huddled there, a faint green glow rose from their bodies. The bailiff cleared his throat self-consciously and asked for all to rise for the Honorable Maggie Brannik. Xander and Spike forced themselves to let go and helped the kids back to their seats. As Judge Brannik settled herself into her chair, the two men moved back to their chairs.

Xander felt a cool hand brush his cheek, across the handprint that throbbed, and turned his gaze to meet Spike’s. The bright blue eyes radiated concern and love. Xander briefly leaned into the touch and then it was gone, and they faced forward again. Judge Brannik asked where the elder Harris’s were and the bailiff approached her bench to whisper briefly into her ear. She raised her eyebrows and nodded.

“Very well. I think it’s pretty obvious that Jessica and Anthony Harris have forfeited their rights to custody with their rather frightening threats of bodily harm.” She began, looking over her glasses. “Now I suppose the only thing we are here to settle today, is if Mr. Alexander Harris is any better of a choice.”

“I would like to address four issues here today. First, if your home, Mr. Harris, is of adequate stature and the environment is a nurturing one. Second, what kind of daily schedule the children have, including school, your work, and weekends. Third, the relationship you have with Mr.-“ She looked down at the paperwork on her desk. “Harris?” She raised another eyebrow. Xander looked confused, but Spike stood up and straightened his jacket.

“Yes, Your Honor, my name is William Harris.” Judge Brannik held his gaze for a long moment and then nodded. Spike sat back down. Xander shot a look at him, but Spike refused to make eye contact.

“And finally, the children’s’ thoughts on their living arrangements. Are you prepared to address these issues, Mr. Harris? Mr. Alexander Harris, that is?” Xander stood himself and nodded.

“Yes, Your Honor.”

“Then let us proceed.”

The next hour was the most nerve-wracking Xander had ever spent. He gave the judge pictures of the house and yard, of each child’s bedroom, and of his and Spike’s bedroom with the two beds. He gave her a detailed list of each child’s daily schedule including times at school, home, in transit. He gave her examples of how the children spent their weekends. He showed her pictures that Ellie and Spike had drawn, transcripts from school—including those with failing grades from the time they had spent at their grandparents’ home.

The scoobies stood up for them stating that no children were in the home the night of the ‘illicit engagement.’ They also swore that to the best of their knowledge that Xander and Spike had not been intimate before that night. Then it was the children’s turn to speak.

“I asked a psychologist to perform an evaluation on the children before court today.” Judge Brannik stated. “I have her findings in front of me now. I would like to ask the children some questions of my own.” Nate, Lys, and Ellie stood and stepped forward to the Judge’s bench. She looked down on them with a smile creasing her face.

“Do you want to have your Uncle Alexander Harris as your guardian?” She asked bluntly. All three heads nodded vigorously. “Why?” Nate cleared his throat.

“We love him. He loves us. We love Uncle Wil, too. And he loves us also. We’re happy with them. They take care of us. They treat us like adults. We feel safe there. We know they’ll take care of us.” Judge Brannik nodded then turned her eyes on Lys.

“And you?”

Lys shook slightly, but raised her chin. “Uncle Xan and Uncle Wil are the only people we’ll be happy living with. They were the only ones to care about us when our parents died. They took us in and showed us someone still loved us. They provide everything we need. They may spoil us on some things, but when it comes to important things like school, or drugs…” her voice trailed off and she lowered her head. “I swear that wouldn’t have happened if we were with them.” She finished in a whisper.

Again, the Judge nodded. “And you, little one?”

Ellie smiled hugely. “Uncle Wil colors with me. Uncle Xan reads me stories and tucks me into bed. They don’t make me cry like gramma and grampa Harris. And I have grampa Angel when I’m home.” She beamed at the Judge, who couldn’t help but smile back at her.

“What do you think about your ‘Uncle Xan’ and ‘Uncle Wil’ being together?”

Nate snorted. “I wish they were. They spend so much time pretending they don’t love each other so they don’t offend us, that it’s ridiculous.”

“Why would they think it would offend you?”

Nate blushed. “When we first came to stay with Uncle Xan, Uncle Wil wasn’t living there yet. He came to help Uncle Xan take us away from our grandparents’ house, though. I…I said some really mean things about them… being gay. I was scared; angry…I wanted to hurt them. I regretted it ever since.”

“Why?”

“I think they were afraid I would think less of them if they were a couple.”

“And do you?”

He snorted again. “Hell, no! Umm…sorry. I mean no, I don’t think any less of them. I’m happy they’re together. They love each other as much as they love us.” He turned to smile affectionately at his uncles.

“Alyssa? What so you think of them together?”

Lys smiled shyly. “I think it’s beautiful. That they are willing to admit they love each other, no matter what society has to say proves how strong they are; how capable of love they are. I’m happy for them. As a matter of fact, Nate and I were the ones responsible for the slumber parties that night. We wanted to give them a chance to be together. We were hoping they’d…well, you know.” She blushed again. The corner of Judge Brannik’s mouth twitched.

“I understand that they are not together anymore though.”

Lys’s expression darkened. “Uncle Wil went away because he thought Uncle Xan would never get us back if they were in a homosexual relationship. He gave up Uncle Xander so we could get away from the Harris’s.”

The judge nodded. “What about Ellie? How do you think this is affecting her?”

Lys and Nate turned to look thoughtfully at their little sister. Ellie smiled again.

“I’m gonna to be the flower girl when they get married. It won’t be l-la…le…for reals, cause Uncle Wil isn’t a lady, but I get to write my name on the cer-cert…paper Auntie Willow makes for them.”

Judge Brannik finally broke into a laugh. “I see. Well, I hope I get an invitation.”

Everyone’s breath caught. Judge Brannik turned her gaze on Xander. “Mr. Harris. I can see no feasible reason why you should not be reinstated as these children’s guardian.”  Xander felt a cool hand slip into his and he held on for dear life. “You seem to have created the perfect home life. You have an equal balance of love and authority. You have a strong support group in your friends. You also have a very strong supporter in Mr. William Harris.”

She cocked her head toward him. “It’s very rare for anyone to give up their life to move into a friend’s home and take care of their children, housekeep, and run the household. It’s even more rare when that person isn’t being paid other than in room and board. It’s almost unheard of when that person is willing to give up their own happiness for that of three children on whom he doesn’t even have a claim. I must say, William Harris. I am impressed.”

Spike inclined his head in thanks.

“This court hereby grants custody of Nathan Hunt, Alyssa Hunt, and Eleanor Hunt to Alexander LaVelle Harris. All trust funds shall be signed back over to you, Mr. Harris, and final custody papers will be signed forthwith. As for your…relationship-“ She looked at both of them seriously.

“Legally, I cannot tell you with whom to spend your life, Alexander. I cannot, as a judicial official, call any relationship moral or immoral. Unless a relationship seriously threatens a child’s well being, legally, I must keep my nose out of it. However…” Xander forced himself to meet her eyes.

“As a human being, as a mother, as a wife of a man I love more than anything else on this earth, you would be completely out of your mind, Alexander, if you didn’t make him come home. Court adjourned.” She rapped her gavel sharply and left the room. Xander sat clutching Spike’s hand, staring ahead in shock.

Willow, Buffy, Tara and Dawn were jumping up and down with Nate, Lys and Ellie; hugging, crying whooping. Giles even vocalized a few whoops, dignified whoops, but definitely whoops. Xander finally turned to look at the vampire next to him.

“We got them back.” He whispered.

Spike nodded. “Sure did, luv.”

“No conditions.”

“Nope. Not a one.”

“Spike?”

“Yes, luv?”

“Will you come home with us?”

“Luv, I wouldn’t go anywhere else.”

Xander leaned against the arm of the couch, Spike curled up in the crook of his arm. The brunette sighed in utter happiness and dropped a kiss on his love’s blonde locks. At the dining room table, Giles and Nate were having a good-natured argument over the pronunciation of some demon language. Personally, Xander thought that it was impossible to mispronounce a language that had ‘gurgles’ and ‘gargles’ and ‘guttural grunts’ but the two of them were very adamant in their discussion.

Lys and Dawn had plopped down on the other couch, supposedly to do homework. Xander was pretty sure, though, that geometry didn’t inspire the giggles that erupted from the girls. He heard whispers of ‘oh, my God!’ ‘he said what?’, and ‘he’s such a hottie’, further lending credence to the idea that math was simply the excuse to have a bit of boy talk.

Willow and Tara were ensconced at the other end of the dining room table, watching Giles and Nate with smiles on their faces. Every now and then, one would interject a comment, but it seemed as though they were rooting for Nate. A fact that clearly annoyed Giles and thrilled Nate.

Buffy, of all people, was in the floor playing with Ellie. Ellie was kicking her ass at ‘Trouble’ and howling with glee whenever she sent one of the Slayer’s pieces back to start. Buffy engaged in a quick bit of theatrics each time, rolling on the floor and clutching her chest.

“Penny for your thoughts, luv.” Spike whispered into Xander’s neck, the words ghosting across Xander’s skin. Xander shivered in appreciation and clutched the vampire closer.

“I was just thinking how much I love my life.” He replied with a smile. “I love my life. I love my kids. I love my friends. I love you.” Spike twisted until he was facing Xander. He saw the most content expression he’d ever witnessed on a human’s face. And he knew he was mirroring it.

“I love you, too.” He murmured, closing the distance between his mouth and Xander’s. It was a gentle kiss; a mere brushing of mouths. But it lit a fire in Spike’s being. He could kiss Xander. He had the permission…nay, the order…to kiss his love, live with his love, be in love with him, from the bloody Californian courts. Granted, it meant nothing to him personally, he needed permission from nobody. But, it meant something to Xander, he could tell. And it meant something to the kids. It was like getting the scoobies blessing.

Really, they had nothing to say about it, but Spike knew that their opinions mattered to Xander in ways he couldn’t even begin to imagine. No, that was a lie. He could imagine. He imagined it was similar to the blessing he’d begged from his Sire. So, between the blessing from the scoobies, and the okay from the court system, there was no one left who could lodge a protest about them being together and make it matter.

Xander’s lips became more insistent. He nibbled at the corners of Spike’s mouth and gave a tiny lick across his bottom lip. Spike moaned softly and ran his hand up Xander’s face to tangle in his hair. Xander felt the heat begin to grow, as well as other things and regretfully pulled away. Spike blinked dazedly at him. Xander loved that he was able to steal Spike’s senses away with just a kiss. Then Spike shook his head and looked embarrassed.

“Sorry, I lost track of where we were.” He murmured, tucking his head under Xander’s chin once again. Xander closed his eyes and drank in the feel, the smell, of this wonderful creature that loved him. Spike. William the Bloody. William…Harris?

“Spike?”

“Mmm-hmm?”

“William Harris?” He felt a chuckle run through the vampire.

“Yeah, Red decided I needed to be a real person so’s I could stand by you at the hearing.” Xander furrowed his brow.

“So she faked some papers?” Spike snorted.

“Our girl doesn’t do anything halfway, pet. You should know that. She got into the California Bureau of Vital Statistics and gave online birth to one William James Harris, born 1969 in Greenville, California. The pampered son of James Wesley Harris of England and Natalie Ann Harris of California.” He nuzzled Xander’s neck again. “I have a copy of my ‘birth certificate’ and my ‘social security’ card on it’s way in the mail as we speak. She set me up with a license too.”

Xander was too stunned to even react to the warm nuzzling occurring under his chin. “You have a real identity?” He whispered. Spike nodded against Xander’s chest. He felt the human’s labored breathing and sat up in concern. Xander’s eyes were wide and fragile and he looked as though he were trying not to cry.

“What’s wrong, luv?”

“Y-you gave away your freedom for me. They have records of you, now. You can’t hide in the shadows anymore. And you traded it away to sit next to me in a courtroom?” His voice was thick with unspoken emotion. Spike raised his hand and ran it down the brunette’s face.

“No, luv. I gave away my ‘freedom’ because I chose to. And why would I need it anyway? I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here, with you, until our kids are grown…until Peaches becomes a bloody great-grandpa…until the ends of the earth, luv.” He smiled tenderly into warm chocolate eyes. “And there was no power in existence strong enough to keep me from your side in that courtroom. I wouldn’t have given up watching those sweet bits returned to their Uncle Xan for anything.”

Xander smiled back, his thoughts swimming in circles. “So you really want to be here for the long run?” He asked. Spike sighed theatrically.

“Do I need to rent one of those banner planes, luv? Fly it across the bloody town?” Xander laughed, shaking his head.

“No. But if you’re certain, then I have a present for you.”

Spike’s eyes lit up. “Pressies? Oooo, I like pressies!” Xander pushed the vamp off of his lap and snagged his hand.

“Willow?” He called, pulling Spike behind him as he moved toward the table. The witch looked up, saw Xander’s face, and smiled hugely.

“Is it time?” She began bouncing as Xander nodded. Squealing, she turned and dug in her purse, pulling out a sheaf of papers. Spike glanced warily from Xander to Willow and back again. Xander pushed Spike into a chair and began bouncing himself, lightly on his toes.

“Nate, Lys, Ellie? Could you all come here please? I have an announcement.” Nate scooted his chair next to his Uncle Wil. Willow offered Lys the one she had just vacated, and Ellie climbed up into Spike’s lap. Xander took another look at the faces of those he loved more than anything else and shivered in anticipation.

“What’s up, luv?” Spike demanded.

“Well, you aren’t the only one who hit Willow up for a bit of sleuthing. Of course, my request had nothing to do with hacking into the United States Government,” He smirked at Willow, who looked mildly embarrassed. “I just had her look up a few laws, a couple of court cases…you know, stuff.”

Spike’s lips twisted into a wry grin. “Stuff. Stuff for what, Xan?”

Xander took a deep breath and reached out for the papers Willow proffered. “These are adoption papers.” He said quietly. Everyone’s breath caught. The twins sat very still, confusion warring with hope in their eyes. “Kids, I know I can never take the place of your mom or dad. I would never want to. They were very special. Are very special. But, I do want to be an important part of your lives. I never knew how much of a hole I had in my heart until you three came along and filled it. And so, I was hoping you might say yes to becoming my kids…for real.”

He waited, nervously wiping his sweating hands on his pants. Lys began to cry. But she was smiling. Nate’s face broke out in a huge grin. Ellie, seeming totally unsurprised, just nodded. “Okay.” She said, snuggling back into her Uncle Wil’s embrace. Her calm acceptance caused a chain reaction. Lys launched herself at Xander, followed quickly by Nate. The rest of the room began laughing and crying all at once. The only one not making a sound…was Spike. Xander could see the forced smile on his face. He whispered into Lys and Nate’s ears and gently pushed past them to stand at the vampire’s side.

He held his arms out for Ellie, and he saw the barely covered flinch Spike made as he handed the little girl over. He looked confused when Xander passed her along to her sister, and then knelt next to Spike’s chair. “Spike. Wil.” He said quietly. “I took the liberty of filling out the papers already. They’re only waiting for signatures.” He pushed the papers into the vamps hands and waited, not breathing while Spike read the first page.

The blonde head shot up and Spike had such a look of amazement on his face that Xander had to laugh. “So, Wil, my love. Would you do me the great honor of signing that paper with me as a couple? To help me love and cherish these three kids, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, til they grow up, move out and only want to see their adopted parents for college allowance and to get you to do their laundry?” His voice grew hoarse as he recalled saying almost the same words to the vampire a million tears ago.

“You want me to adopt them with you?” Spike breathed.

“Yes, William James Harris. I want you to adopt our kids with me.” Xander replied, his eyes unnaturally shiny.

Spike looked at the kids. “And you three? Do you want me to?” His answer was not verbal. He was rushed and tackled by three flying bodies. Somehow, they pulled Xander into the mix and the dog pile was complete. The scoobies weren’t even surprised when the green glow began.

_____________________________________________________________________

Ellie had been asleep for hours when the scoobies finally took their leave. Xander put her to bed while Spike and the twins cleaned up the living room and kitchen.  When he came back out Spike was heating up a mug of blood for his real dinner and Nate and Lys were out in the living room whispering frantically. They jumped apart as soon as he walked in and looked guiltily at him. He crossed his arms and set his lips firmly.

“What are you two up to now?”

They exchanged a furtive look and Nate stepped back, pushing Lys slightly to the forefront. She glared back at him and he spread his hands, the picture of innocence. With a sigh, she approached Xander. “W-we’ve been discussing s-something, Uncle Xan.” She began hesitantly. “And we’ve decided that you and Uncle Wil worry too much.”

Nate snorted and Lys shot him an angry glare.

“What?” He said, rolling his eyes. “Can you come up with any more lame broaching statements?”

“Screw you, Nate! If you’re such a goddamn expert, you tell him!”

“Lys, language.” Xander reprimanded with a frown. “I don’t care who tells me, but someone better start talking in about three seconds or two of the three of us are going to be losing some privileges.”

Lys turned back to Xander, a flush on her face. “Sorry, Uncle Xan. It’s just…we know that you and Uncle Wil are together. As a couple. And couples generally er…express their feelings in a…physical manner and we thought…” She trailed off helplessly and looked back to Nate, pleading.

He snorted again, but came forward and took his sister’s hand, creating a united front. “What she’s trying to say, Uncle Xan, is that we know you and Uncle Wil want to have sex.” Xander felt his face go up in flames. “And we know that you probably won’t as long as you think you’ll leak over through the bond.” Damn observant twerp. “So, we wanted to tell you that you won’t. Leak through, that is.”

Lys finally found words. “We’ve been discussing it and practicing also. We’ve found out that we’re stable. You and Uncle Wil are truly our foundations now. You aren’t hiding anything from each other. You aren’t trying to block any one thing, leaving the other emotions open. So, unless we deliberately punch through the shields, which we would never do, or you project on purpose, which we know you would never do, there’s no way that you’ll send anything over into our heads.”

They stood, waiting impatiently for Xander’s reply. He blinked slowly. “Are you sure about this?” He asked quietly. They nodded so hard he thought one of their heads may fall off.

“Absolutely.” Lys said adamantly. “We’ve been working with Willow and Tara on it and they agree.”

Xander blushed again. “Great. Now my best friend and her girlfriend have an inside track on my love life.”

Nate grinned. “They only wanted to help.” Xander sighed and nodded.

“I know. And it’s okay. Thank you guys for…researching this. Spike and I will…discuss it and see if we’re willing to risk it. And can I stop discussing me, sex and my boyfriend with my kids, please?” He begged. The twins giggled and Lys gave him a kiss goodnight. Nate hugged him and they raced off to their bedrooms as though the lack of their presence would result in immediate action on their uncle’s parts.

Xander slowly made his way into the kitchen. He expected to see Spike sitting at the table drinking his dinner. What he found was Spike, collapsed into a chair, his body shaking in silent laughter. Xander glared. “I suppose you heard all of that with your bat ears?”

Spike nodded, clutching his stomach.

“Well, what do you think of what they’re talking about?”

The laughter died down. Spike sat up and stared seriously into Xander’s eyes.

“Well, luv, I’d say if there’s a chance in hell that I can have you I’m going to take it.” He said huskily. Xander felt an answering pull in his gut. He held out a hand to his love and led him to the bedroom. Closing the door behind them, he turned to stare into those endless blue pools.

“I love you, Wil.” He whispered. Spike smiled and brushed an errant curl from Xander’s forehead.

“I love you too, Xan.”

Slowly, they came together, lips brushing tenderly against each other. Xander licked the vampire’s lower lip…just a tiny flick…then sucked the full, pink treat into his mouth. The gentle pressure caused Spike to moan appreciatively. As Xander released his prize, Spike took the opportunity to slide his own tongue into the sweet, warm cavern of Xander’s mouth.

Xander began breathing through his nose so he would never, ever have to give up the feeling of Spike’s cool tongue claiming his mouth. The vampire explored every crevice, every tooth, even the roof of Xander’s mouth before drawing the human’s tongue into a sweet duel. Breaking away, Spike began raining kisses down Xander’s jawline. The brunette gave a tiny whine of displeasure at the sudden loss of his lover’s mouth, but it turned into a tiny whine of something completely different as Spike left a wet trail of passion behind his amazing mouth.

Xander slid his hands up Spike’s body and encountered resistance from the tucked in shirt. Carefully, he eased it out of the vampire’s waistband and ran his hands up naked, cool flesh. Spike’s breath hitched a bit then his attack on Xander’s jaw and ear was renewed with a vengeance. Xander had just begun to anticipate Spike’s flittering tongue when the vampire added a new horizon. He raked blunt teeth across Xander’s throat. The human let out a soft keening wail and shuddered.

That seemed to set a match to the kindled passion lurking in both of them. Xander shoved his hands up Spike’s shirt, pushing the fabric up until Spike lifted his arms to allow Xander to remove it entirely. Not to be outdone, Spike grasped either side of Xander’s shirt and ripped. Buttons flew everywhere, landing with tiny ‘tinks’ throughout the room. He wrenched the shirt down over Xander’s arms and pinned him there with the sleeves.

He gazed at Xander’s chest; strong, silky, muscled flesh. Xander thrust his chest towards the vamp and groaned in pleasure when Spike took the invitation and sucked a puckered nipple into his cold mouth. Xander was sure his nipples must have a direct connection to his dick, because every nibble, every suck, every lap Spike endowed on it increased his erection. Soon his pants were so constricting that he nudged Spike’s hip in request to do something. The friction of his denim encased cock rubbing against Spike’s leg caused his eyes to roll up in his head.

Spike laved his way down Xander’s chest, nibbling and licking a fiery trail from one side to the other. When he reached Xander’s jeans he dropped to his knees. He reached around and clutched Xander’s ass in his hands, squeezing reflexively, as he brought his mouth forward to the bulge in Xander’s pants. He dragged his teeth over the strained denim and was rewarded with a series of minute thrustings from the human’s hips.

He continued to worry at that same spot as he undid Xander’s belt until there was a wet spot over the protruding area. Finally, he pulled the constricting jeans away and allowed his lover’s cock to spring out in relief. He moved back in and rubbed his smooth cheek against the engorged flesh, thrilling to the sound of Xander’s moans.

Xander had his eyes tightly shut, focusing on Spike’s cool hands and wicked mouth as the vampire tasted and touched him. When he felt air touch his straining erection, he let out a relieved moan. It melded into Spike’s name as the vamp took his into his mouth. Spike opened his throat and took Xander straight to the root, rubbing his nose into the soft hair at the base of Xander’s cock.

Spike set up a rhythm of taking Xander deep into his throat on the down stroke and swallowing, then kneading the human’s sac and tickling his perineum on the upstroke. Xander felt sanity slipping away from him and a tight tingling sensation begin to build. “Spike…please,” he begged hoarsely. “Stop…please, I want to be in you when I come.” The vampire froze for a fraction of a second, and then released his treasure with a pop.

He crawled back up the brunette’s body and looked into his glazed brown eyes. What he saw made him smile. He made quick work of shucking the rest of his clothing and tugged Xander to the bed. When he felt it touch the back of his knees, he fell backwards, pulling Xander on top of him. Xander straddled his lover’s thighs and watched as the moonlight fell onto his pale skin.

“You are so beautiful, Wil.” He whispered. “I love you so much.”

He peppered the vampire’s chest with tiny love bites, reveling in the ability to make the Big Bad whimper and arch into his touch. Stroking satiny skin, he laid claim to every bit of Spike’s flesh with hands and lips and tongue.

“Xan, luv…I need you…please, fuck me already.” Spike groaned, writhing under his lover’s deft touch. Xander stretched his arm out and tugged open the drawer on the bedside table. He pulled out a little white tube and opened it one handed. Squeezing some out onto his finger, he gently pushed up on Spike’s legs. The vamp lifted them eagerly, placing his hands behind his knees to hold them there.

He hissed as the cool gel and Xander’s warm finger pressed into his tight ring of muscle. Then the finger made it past and was sheathed inside him. Xander gave Spike a moment to accustom himself to the feeling and then began to move. It only took three or four thrusts before Spike was trying to impale himself. Grinning, Xander pulled the finger back out, hearing Spike growl as he did so. He coated two fingers this time and eased them into the vampire, silencing the growls.

He crooked his fingers, searching for…

“Fuck! Oh fuck, Xan…yes! More…please,”

That.

He flicked his fingers over the small nub of flesh inside his lover, beginning to rub himself on the bedcover when Spike’s pleadings turned into incoherent growls. Pulling free once again, he added more lube and worked three fingers into the vamp, stretching him, preparing him.

“Xan, luv…please. Fuck me.” Spike begged. Xander took pity, both on himself and the vamp, and coated his shaft this time. Kneeling in front of his love, he nudged the opening gently, but Spike was having none of that. With a gasp, he rammed his body down onto Xander’s cock, moaning in delight.

Xander adjusted himself so that he hit Spike’s prostate with each thrust and began picking up speed. Soon, Spike was raising his hips to mirror Xander in a violent rhythm. Both men panted for air as they clutched each other closer. Blue eyes met brown and the lover’s watched their desire rise to new pinnacles. Xander snaked his had between their bodies and began jerking Spike off in counterpoint to his own thrusts.

Spike’s eyes melted into yellow and his fangs dropped. Xander smiled evilly. He leaned down to kiss the vamp, slipping his tongue between panting lips. Wrapping his tongue around a fang, he began sucking. Spike yowled and vamped out, his cool semen spilling over Xander’s hand and his own stomach.

Xander’s eyes rolled back into his head as Spike’s ass muscles clenched around his dick. Moments later, he followed the blonde over into his own orgasm. He collapsed onto Spike’s chest, gasping for air. He felt the vamp’s arms move around him and they lay in each other’s embrace until calmed.

Spike rolled Xander to the side and kissed him softly. Xander raised a hand to Spike’s cheek and tenderly ghosted the back of his hand over the sharp cheekbone.

“I love you, Wil.” He murmured sleepily. The blonde vampire smiled indulgently at him.

“And I love you, Xan. Go to sleep. We need our strength to fend off questions from the kids and the gang tomorrow.”

Xander chuckled and snuggled into his love’s embrace. And they slept.

FIN—continued in More Than Family (sequel set a couple of years later)