Broken

by Kayla

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four


Part Four

Xander froze, eyes going wide. He took a step back. "Um...Tara." He licked his 
lips, glancing nervously at Oz. 

Oz closed his eyes momentarily, groaning softly. This was just turning out to be 
a fantastic day! Calmly, he hefted the pile, dumping everything into Xander's 
arms. "Why don't you take these up to the register? I'll be with you in a sec." 

Xander's glance darted between Tara and Oz, then he backed away and moved 
quickly to the front of the store. 

Oz watched him go, then turned back to Tara, who was following Xander's 
departure with wide eyes. Once he was out of sight, those eyes were directed to 
Oz again. He lifted an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"That was...Xander." Tara looked very confused, with just the barest hint of 
being upset. 

"It was." 

"I don't...I don't understand. We've all...Willow and everyone, we've been 
looking for him." 

"Have you?" 

"We all thought something...bad...had happened to him." 

"Did you now?" 

Her forehead crinkled. "Willow's been so worried about him." 

"That's Willow for you." 

Tara took a deep breath. "Is he...is he ok?" 

"You could say that." Oz just continued to stare at her, not even attempting to 
be helpful. 

Shaking her head, Tara once more picked up the discarded dress. She made as if 
to step around Oz. "I have to go. I have to tell Willow--" 

"No!" Oz grabbed her arm, eyes narrowing. He jerked her back, hissing, "You 
can't say anything! Not to anyone." 

Tara tried to pull away, but was unable to break his grip. Wincing as fingers 
dug into her arm, she quit struggling. "But she's his friend," she protested. 
"She needs to know!" 

"She needs to know what Xander chooses to tell her! And if he wanted to talk 
with her, he would have. You are going to forget you ever saw him." 

"I...I..." Tears welled up in her eyes, and she slumped. "I can't," she said 
weakly. "You don't understand. I can't lie to her. You don't know how she's 
been; I have to tell her." 

Oz finally released her, and ran a hand through his hair. He sighed heavily. He 
knew that sooner or later, Willow and the rest were bound to find out where 
Xander was. It would probably be best if he could figure out a way to get them 
to meet on Xander's terms. "Look," he told her firmly, "I'll talk to Xander, see 
if I can convince him to call or something. But..." and his eyes took on a hard 
glint. "We do this my way. You say nothing, not until you get the go ahead from 
him. Am I clear?" 

Tara gulped at the menace being directed toward her. "Ok," she whispered, 
nodding her head shakily. 

Oz took a moment to determine the sincerity of her agreement, then nodded back. 
"Fine." Turning his back, he dismissed her and went looking for Xander. 

Xander looked up warily at his approach. 

Oz grinned at him reassuringly. "No prob, Xan. Let's check out, ok?" 




Willow glanced up from her books as the door opened. "Oh, hey Tara. How'd your 
shopping go?" 

'Um, good I guess." Head down, she walked past her girlfriend, heading for the 
closet where she began to put away the clothes she'd bought. 

Willow frowned. "Are you alright? Did something happen?" 

"N-no. Wh-why would you think that?" She tried to hide the shaking of her hands 
as she pulled out some clothes hangers. 

"No reason. You just seem, I dunno, upset." 

Tara forced a smile. "I'm fine, Willow." 

"Oh. Ok then. Because, you know, you could tell me if anything happened. Because 
if someone was mean to you or something, I could put a whammy on them. Of 
course, so could you, because you're just as good a witch as I am, and you know 
I love you, right?" 

Her smile genuine now, Tara walked over to Willow and gave her a quick kiss. "I 
know," she said quietly. "I love you too...babble and all." 

"Well, good then." Willow watched her girlfriend for a moment more before 
returning to her reading. 




Spike looked from the television. Smiling when he saw Xander coming through the 
door, he stood. "Pet! You're back! Have fun on your little trip?" 

Xander nodded, giving the vampire a tiny grin. "Got lots of new clothes," he 
told him. 

"Good. Your other things were wearing a mite thin." He looked at the tin that 
Xander was holding. "What's that?" 

Xander opened it, offering its contents to Spike. "Cookies. Oz took me...um, to 
this shop, and the lady there had made them and let me have some." 

"Oooh, chocolate. Nummy." He took one, groaning in bliss as the taste exploded 
across his tongue. "Bloody hell!" he gasped around the mouthful. "These things 
are fantastic!" 

Xander nodded in agreement. "I know. I ate about a dozen myself." 

Spike polished off the rest of his cookie, eyeing the tin lustfully. With a 
chuckle, Xander handed it to him. As he devoured the cookies, Spike watched 
Xander carry an armful of bags into their bedroom. Oz also had a package, which 
he quickly stashed in his room before reappearing. 

"We need to talk," he informed the vampire. 

"'Bout wha'?" Spike mumbled, mouth still crammed full. 

"Xander and I ran into someone today. You might know her." 

Spike swallowed, a heavy feeling growing in his stomach. "Who?" he asked 
shortly. 

"Oh, blonde, witch, dates Willow. Tara?" 

Spike set the remaining cookies down on the coffee table, flopping onto the 
sofa. "Bloody hell," he muttered darkly. 




"No!" 

Oz glared at Spike. "We've been having this argument for the last two days. It 
doesn't matter what you think; it's Xander's decision." 

"Bloody hell it is!" Spike paced the room angrily. He reached into his pocket, 
pulling out a cigarette. 

Oz leapt up and snatched it away. "Not inside," he told the vampire firmly. 

Spike growled. "Y'know, you ain't human. I can hurt you!" 

"Try it." 

Lunging forward, Spike pulled himself to an abrupt halt at Xander's appearance. 

"What's going on?" Xander asked. 

"Nothing," Spike gritted out. 

Oz rolled his eyes. "Xander, Tara knows about you. I don't think she'll be able 
to stay quiet for long. I just thought it would be best if maybe you called 
Willow or something." 

"No!" Spike rushed over to Xander. "Don't listen to him, pet. You don't have to 
talk to the chit if you don't want to." 

Xander bit his lip, eyes downcast. He flicked a glance at Oz. "T-Tara said Wills 
was worried, huh?" 

Oz nodded. 

"I didn't...I didn't even think about, you know, what they'd do. I 
guess...they're probably wondering about me, huh?" 

"Willow's been your best friend for years, Xander." Oz shrugged, leaving the 
decision up to him. 

Xander gave a tremulous grin. "Yeah. So...I guess I should...call." 

Spike threw his hands up, stalking over to the couch. He sank down, glowering. 
"For the record, not that anyone seems to care, but I think this is a fucking 
insane idea!" 

Oz just sighed and picked up the phone, handing it to Xander. 

Xander stared at it as if would bite. "Um, could...could you call, Oz?" 

With a small grin, Oz dialed the number that Xander gave him. 




Tara paced, nibbling at her nails. She couldn't do this any longer. She 
couldn't! I'm telling her. As soon as she gets out of the shower, I'm telling 
her about Xander. Decision made, she sat down at the counter. 

The phone ringing startled her, and she jumped. Composing herself, she picked it 
up. "Hello?" 

She straightened. "O-Oz? Wh-Why are you calling?" "Oh!" "No, I h-haven't said 
anything." "No!" "Oh. Ok." "Uh-huh" "Are...are you sure?" "What time?" "Sure, 
I'll have her there." "No, I understand." "Ok. Bye." 

She hung up the phone, sitting silently until Willow finished her shower and 
came back out. 

"Hey babe, whatcha doing?" 

Tara looked up. "Willow? I have something to tell you." 




"I'm gone." Oz picked up his keys and walked to the door. 

Xander's fingers tapped nervously on the table. "Just them, right? No one else 
is coming, are they?" 

"Nope. Just the witchy duo. I'll pick 'em up, be back in a few." 

"Right." Xander took a deep breath. "Ok." 

Spike lounged against the wall, glaring at the both of them. "This is a stupid 
idea," he muttered for about the 47th time. 

"Spike. Get over it." Oz shook his head at the vampire's stubbornness, then 
left. 

Spike growled, kicking the wall behind him. 

"Spike?" 

Spike stopped with a sigh, walking over to Xander. "I don't like it, pet. 
They'll try to take you away from me." 

"Spike, Willow's like my bestest friend. I need her to know that I'm ok." 

"Are you?" 

Xander shrugged. "Gettin' there. Besides, oz said he'd make sure they wouldn't 
know how to get here so we don't have to worry about them showing up 
unannounced, or telling anyone else where we are." 

"Yeah. But I still don't like it!" 




Xander was hiding in his room when Oz returned, two witches in tow. The second 
Willow got inside the apartment, she began looking around frantically. 

"Where is he?" she demanded, close to tears. 

Spike sauntered into the room, sneering at her. "Red. Fancy meetin' you here." 

"You." The word was laced with venom. "What did you do to him?" 

"Me? Saved his life most like." 

"Wills?" 

Willow's head snapped around, and she stared at Xander. "Xan," she breathed. She 
stood for a moment, frozen, then flung herself toward him. "Xander! You here! 
And ok! And alive!" She pulled back a bit. "You are alive, aren't you? You look 
alive. And you're breathing and have the whole warm skin thing, so you're not a 
vampire. And why aren't you a vampire? Not that I want you to be one, but we saw 
you with the bitemark and the blood and see, you still have a scar from it. And 
I'm so happy to see you!" She hugged him tight, gulping in air. Then she lightly 
smacked his shoulder. "Don't you ever worry me like that again!" 

Xander endured all this with a smile. "Missed you to, Willow," he said softly. 
"Guess we need to talk, huh?" 

And so they talked. Xander made a few confessions about his former home life. 
Not everything, nowhere near everything, but enough. He explained that Spike had 
saved his life, and the vampire was helping him, and no, he hadn't been turned 
so stop checking for a pulse, thank you. He then attempted to convince Willow 
that none of it was her fault, and she wasn't a horrible, rotten friend for not 
noticing what was happening, because Xander hadn't wanted anyone to know. 

He let her know that he was happy (well, mostly) where he was, and extracted her 
solemn vow not to tell another soul about any of this. Or un-souled person, for 
that matter. He also promised to call, and caved in to her demands that she and 
Tara be allowed to visit again. He managed not to burst out laughing at Spike's 
background commentary on the stupidity of humans in general, and a certain whelp 
in particular. He was used to the vampire's insulting complaints, knowing that 
he didn't mean half of what he said. 

Once Xander found out about the search for him, he also requested that Willow 
see if she could tone things down a bit. He didn't want Buffy to stumble on to 
their hideout, especially after the redhead admitted that the Slayer was 
hell-bent on dusting Spike, dragging her boyfriend along with her on her quest 
for vengeance. And so it went. The Willow-surround sound went a long way toward 
making Xander feel more at home than he had in a while. It was almost as if 
things were back to the way they were when they were kids. But with a vampire 
added. And a werewolf. And some witchiness. 

After hours of talking, though, Spike finally lost patience and practically 
herded the witches out, practically shoving Oz after them. He could see that 
Xander was tiring, a side effect of one of the prescriptions he was still on, 
and didn't want anything to go wrong with the boy. Especially not with his 
follow-up appointment at the clinic the next night. And then...there was 
silence. 

"Damn, that Red can chatter! How does she manage to say so much without 
breathing?" 

Xander shrugged. "It's a Willow talent." 

"Yeah, I guess. Now you -- sleep!" 

"Mmmm." Xander yawned sleepily. "Wow, didn't know we were talking that long." 

"Whatever pet. Bed. Now." He fondly watched the boy shuffle away, then made 
himself comfortable on the sofa. 

He was still there when Oz returned from dropping the girls off. He fixed the 
werewolf with yet another glare. "So help me, if those two spill the beans, you 
are gonna be the one I come after. Got it?" He tried to sound as threatening as 
possible. 

"Yeah, yeah." Oz rolled his eyes, not in the least bit intimidated. With a shake 
of his head, he walked past Spike. "Oh, while I'm remembering. I'm going out of 
town for a few days next week. You handle the place while I'm gone?" 

"Sure. Can do." 

"Cool." With a yawn of his own, he headed for his own room. "Full moon tomorrow 
night," he reminded Spike. "You know what to do if I loose control." 

"Right. Tranq gun in the closet. Just like last time. I'm not stupid, y'know." 

"Right." Oz smirked, then quickly ducked into his bedroom. 




Oz and Xander made it back to the apartment just before sundown, only to be met 
with an anxious vampire. 

"What took so bloody long?!" Spike demanded. "It was only s'posed to be a check 
up, you barely made it back before the moon came up!" 

Oz raised an eyebrow. "Nice to know you're so concerned," he remarked. He 
quirked a grin at the two, then headed for his room. "Don't forget--" 

"Yeah, tranq's in the flamin' closet, I know!" 

"Right. Well, I'll just go meditate then." The door clicked shut behind him. 

Spike snorted, then helped Xander over to the couch. "Well? How'd it go?" 

Xander tried not to laugh as he was fussed over. "Doc said I'm doing great. 
Ev-Everything's healed fine, and I only have to keep taking a couple of the 
medications until they run out. Then I'm free." He yawned. "Good thing, too, I 
hate being so tired!" 

"Yeah, well, a bit of rest ain't gonna kill you, pet. Do you good." He pulled 
Xander close to him, stroking the mostly-healed scars on his neck. "That all he 
say?" 

"Well, he asked if I'd thought about going down there with Oz sometimes, help 
out with the clinic." 

"And?" 

"Told him I'd think about it." He looked up at Spike. "Would you come with me?" 

Spike gave a noncommittal grunt. "Might do, luv." 

"Mmm, 'kay." He yawned again. 

"You wanna rest up some?" 

Xander shook his head. "Not yet. Um, wait here." He got up and hurried to the 
closet to retrieve the package Oz had snuck him earlier. He walked hesitantly 
back to Spike, holding it out awkwardly. 

Spike frowned. "What's this then?" 

"Um, well, O-Oz said it was your birthday coming up, and so I got you a 
p-present." He shoved the package at Spike, then backed off. 

"Oh." So that's how he got 'im to go out. Wondered how he managed. He studied 
the package, then carefully set about unwrapping it. Tossing the paper aside, he 
looked at the leather casings. Nice work. Curiously, he opened them. Pulling out 
their contents, he grinned, looking up at Xander delightedly. 

Xander smiled back somewhat timidly. "D-Do you like them?" 

"Like 'em? Love 'em, pet! Bloody perfect they are." He brandished one of the 
spikes, chuckling to himself. 

"They have your initial and everything," Xander explained, coming closer. 

"They do at that, don't they?" Carefully, Spike set the weapons aside. He pulled 
Xander down to the sofa, hugging him. "Thanks, luv. Best present I ever got." 

"Really?" Xander's eyes were shining with happiness. 

"Really." An' I know just the bloke I can try 'em out on...bloody fucking little 
rapist, like to rip 'is--ow! 

"Spike? What's wrong?" 

Spike gave a rather sickly smile, covering up the pain. "Nothin', pet. Guess I 
got a bit overexcited, had a bit of a chip incident." 

"Oh. Sorry." 

"Not your fault. Don't worry 'bout it." 

Xander nodded, and yawned yet again. 

"All right, that's enough. Sleepy time." Spike stood, dragging Xander with him. 
"Into bed with you. I'll keep watch for the mutt." 

"Sure. Night, Spike." 

"Night, Xander." 




"Spike, where'd you put my spare set of chains?" Oz crept back out from under 
his bed. 

"Hall closet, why? Ain't that time of the month again, that was just last week." 
Spike walked out of the kitchen, observing Oz curiously. 

"Going away for a while, remember?" 

"Uh-huh. And you need chains why?" 

Oz gave him a grin that was positively wolfish, and waggled his eyebrows for 
emphasis. 

"Oh, that kind of vacation, is it? Gotcha." Spike smirked as he watched Oz root 
through the closet. 

"Hey Spike, this yours?" Oz emerged with a rusty lockbox. 

"Oh, yeah. Picked that up when we ditched Xander's old place. Thought it might 
have money inside, but when I finally got it opened, there was nothin' but a 
bunch of legal paper or somethin' like that." 

"Oh. Lock's broken." 

"Yeah, said I opened it, didn't I? Not like I had a spare key." 

Oz shrugged and set the broken lockbox back on a shelf. He shoved a box aside 
and came up with the chains he was looking for. "Right, that's it." He stuffed 
them into his duffel bag. "I'm off them. Say bye to Xander for me when he wakes 
up." 

"Right. Hey Oz!" 

Oz paused in the doorway, looking back 

"Don't do anything I wouldn't." 

Oz gave a snort. "Just let me know when you think of something for that list, 
and I'll make sure I don't." With that retort, he left. 

Spike chuckled. "Have fun mate. At least one of us is gettin' his leg over." 




Four days later, Oz returned, wide grin plastered firmly on his face, 
practically reeking of sex. 

"Damn, man must be an animal!" Spike whistled as he circled Oz, taking in the 
man's ragged appearance. "Didn't he let you sleep none?" 

"Spike, we hardly see each other. Why would we waste time sleeping?" He dropped 
his bag, and it made a clunking sound on the floor. "Where's Xander?" 

"Just got out of the shower." 

"Good. I call it, because man do I need one!" 

"You're tellin' me. You reek, dogboy!" 

Oz shot a bird at the vampire, then disappeared into the bathroom. 

"Lucky dog," Spike muttered. 

Xander came out into the living room, toweling his hair dry. He noticed the bag. 
"Oz is back?" 

"Yeah, he's showerin'." 

"Cool. I'm gonna make a sandwich or something. You want one?" 

"Nah, just ate." 

"Hey, when Oz comes out, ask him he'd mind picking up the girls again tomorrow. 
Willow wants to visit again." 

Spike grimaced, but knew he'd do what Xander asked. Can we say whipped? 

"And Spikie?" he added in a singsong voice. 

"Yes, Xannie?" Spike answered with oozing sweetness. 

Xander laughed. "Be nice to them, ok? Willow's my friend. Besides, I know you 
really like her. Otherwise you wouldn’t deny it so much." 

"I bloody don't like her!" Spike protested weakly. 

"Uh-huh. Sure." 

"Oh, sod off!" 




Spike ignored the ringing of the doorbell, figuring whoever it was would give up 
and go away eventually. However, when the ringing switched to relentless 
knocking, he sat up in annoyance. If it's one of those bloody door-to-door 
salesman, I'll rip 'is lungs out -- sod the flamin' chip! 

He got up and stalked over to the door, wrenching it open. A man stood outside, 
hand raised, a shocked expression on his face. Spike looked him up and down, 
sneering. "Well?" he demanded. "What the bloody hell do you want?" 

The man stepped back with a frown, as if uncertain that he was in the right 
place. He cleared his throat. "Um, I'm looking for Oz?" 

Spike snorted. "Yeah, so?" 

"I'm...sorry. I guess I must have gotten the wrong place." 

"Well, maybe you did." Then Spike frowned and leaned forward, sniffing deeply. 
The man stepped away, taken aback by this odd behavior. Spike grinned wolfishly. 
"Hey, you're that bloke Oz was shaggin' last weekend, aren't you?" 

"I don't -- how did you know?" 

"Oh please," Spike scoffed. "The mutt came home with your smell all over him! 
Who the hell else could you be?" 

"So...Oz does live here?" 

"Yeah, sure. Didn't tell us he was expectin' you, though." 

"Us?" 

"Well, yeah. I mean, if we'd have known, we'd have fixed you dinner or 
something." He paused, cocking his head. "Actually, no we wouldn't have." 

"You...live with Oz?" 

Spike rolled his eyes. "At the risk of sounding like a bloody teeny-bopper or 
something...duh! You're not a real quick one, are you?" Then he gave the man a 
look that was frankly appraising. "Then again, with looks like that, why would 
you need to be?" Spike laughed at the man's angered expression. He stepped back, 
gesturing expansively. "What are you waiting for? Come in already." 

The man glared at Spike, but accepted the invitation. Once inside, he looked 
around the apartment curiously. "So, where is Oz?" he asked. 

Spike shrugged. "Out," he replied. "Dunno what he's doin', but chances are, 
he'll bring back a bit of dosh." He waved a hand at the sofa, waiting for the 
man to sit down. "Make yourself at home, mate. I'm gonna go fix m'self somethin' 
to eat." He left the room without a backwards glance. 



Xander woke, stretching with a grunt. He yawned, rubbing the sleep from his 
eyes. Crawling from the bed, he stood and dressed quickly. He stretched again, 
then shot an irritated glare at the rumpled covers. Man, gotta stop taking all 
these naps. I'm not a baby! 

Sighing, he pulled open the door and left the room. Judging from the noises in 
the kitchen, he figured Spike was in there making himself dinner. Or lunch. Or 
whatever meal this is for vampires. He decided to go see if he could help. 

He stopped abruptly, noticing the man on the sofa. "H-Hi," he said, backing up 
slightly. he wasn't used to them having visitors, just Willow and Tara on 
occasion. 

The man looked up at him, a flash of something -- irritation? -- flickering in 
his eyes. Great, another one! Aloud, he asked, "And who might you be?" 

Xander swallowed, his eyes darting around the room. "Um, I'm...Xander." He 
licked his lips nervously. 

The man nodded. "Xander. And...I suppose you live here too?" 

"Yeeeah," Xander replied. Then he straightened. "Well, who are you?" 

The man snorted, coming to his feet and moving to stand in front of Xander. "I'm 
Lindsey," he said, holding out a hand. 

Looking at the hand without taking it, Xander wondered about the thin scar 
running its circumference. 

Lindsey let out a bitter laugh, pulling his hand back. "Ok. Guess not." 

"W-Why are you here?" Xander asked. 

"Thought I'd drop in on Oz," was the reply. 

"Oh. I didn't know Oz was expecting company." 

"He wasn't," Lindsey answered abruptly. 

The tone of his voice made Xander swallow nervously. Warily, he inched around 
the man, heading for the vacated sofa. He flinched imperceptibly when Lindsey 
followed, sitting down next to him. 

"So, you and your...'friend' live here with Oz? He didn't tell me he had 
roommates." 

"Yeah. He's, uh, he's letting us crash here for a while." 

"Huh." Lindsey studied the young man, noticing how nervous he seemed in his 
presence. Hoping to reassure him, he reached a hand out, pulling it back when he 
noticed the flash of panic crossing Xander's face. "Sorry," he offered. "Didn't 
mean to startle you." 

"No, um, that's ok." Xander twitched uncomfortably, wishing Spike would come 
out. His hands fiddled with the hem of his shirt, stretching out the fabric. 
Beads of sweat popped up on his forehead, and he wiped at them with a trembling 
hand. 

A noise from the kitchen captured their attention. After a moment, Spike 
sauntered out, carrying a full glass in his hand. He frowned at the close 
proximity between his human and the newcomer. Noticing Xander's distress, he set 
his glass down on the coffee table and sat between the two, forcing Lindsey to 
scoot down. "You all right, pet?" he asked softly, stroking one of Xander's 
hands. 

"Yeah," he answered quietly, then cleared his throat. "H-How long has 
Lin-Lindsey been here?" 

Spike lifted an eyebrow, turning to the other man on the sofa. "Lindsey? That 
your name? Kind of nancyish, don't y'think?" 

Lindsey was only half-listening to him, eyes locked on the glass of dark, ruby 
liquid in front of him. "Y-Yeah, sure," he answered, distracted. "Um, is 
that--?" 

Spike picked up his glass. "What, blood?" He took a long sip, then flashed 
crimson fangs at Lindsey. "Course it is, mate. What else you expect a vamp t'be 
drinkin'?" 

"Shit!" Lindsey jumped up off the sofa. What is it with me and vampires!? 

"Oh, relax!" Spike scoffed. "I'll only bite you if you ask me real nicely." 

Shaking his head in confusion, Lindsey stammered, "But-but Oz--" 

"What, you're worried 'bout the mutt?" Spike grimaced. "Please. Can't bloody 
stand the taste of werewolves." 

Lindsey backed up slowly. "This is...this is just too weird." He'd almost made 
it to the door when it suddenly opened. 

Oz walked in, kicking it shut behind him. "Hey Lindsey," he said absently as he 
walked across the living room toward his bedroom. "Hey Spike, Xander." 

He came to a sudden halt. Turning back slowly, he stared at the man by the door. 
"Lindsey? What are you doing here?" 

"Long story. Quit my job, had to leave L.A." 

Spike snickered. "Sounded short enough to me!" 

Oz quirked an eyebrow at the vampire. "Shut up, Spike." He heard a pained groan, 
and again turned his attention to Lindsey. The man seemed to be extremely shaken 
up. "You ok, Linds?" he asked. 

Lindsey just dropped into a chair, gazing at Spike with a sort of pathetic 
horror. "Spike?" he repeated dazedly. "Spike!?" 

Smirking, Spike preened just a bit. "Heard of me, eh?" 

Lindsey covered his face with his hands, whimpering softly. "Someone...hates 
me," he muttered. "Someone really, really hates me!" 

Oz frowned. "Ah, Linds? You have a hand. How'd you get a hand?" 

"Most blokes are born with 'em, you know," Spike interjected. 

"Shut...Up...Spike," Oz said. "Linds?" 

Lindsey laughed somewhat hysterically. "Yeah, a hand. I've got a hand. It's an 
evil hand, but it's a hand." 

Spike perked up at that bit of news, and opened his mouth to inquire further. 
However, he wisely decided to refrain from commenting when Oz shot one of his 
'annoyed glares' his way. 

"Part of that long story?" Oz asked. 

"Oh yeah." 

Oz nodded. "You want a drink or something?" 

"Sure, whatever." 

Oz moved toward the kitchen, pausing briefly. "Spike, you wanna come with me?" 

Spike thought about protesting, but gave in when the werewolf just continued to 
stare at him implacably. He grudgingly followed the smaller man, and again 
Xander was left alone with Lindsey. He wasn't quite as nervous this time, 
though, as he realized that the other man seemed even more jittery than he. 

Lindsey practically quivered with nervous energy and, unable to remain seated, 
he soon got up and began pacing across the room. Without really noticing, he 
snagged the pencil and pad of paper that were kept by the phone, tapping the 
pencil against his thigh as he walked. 

Xander watched. After a few minutes, he let out a brief chuckle. "Um, gettin 
dizzy here," he offered in an attempt at humor. 

Lindsey stilled. "Sorry." He let out a sigh and sat down again. His right hand, 
still holding the pencil, lifted and began absently doodling on the pad of 
paper. 

Oz walked back into the room, trailed by Spike, who appeared to be suitably 
chastised. The werewolf came to stand beside Lindsey, and his brow wrinkled. He 
cleared his throat. "Ah, Lindsey?" 

The lawyer looked up at him. "Yes?" 

Leaning over, Oz took away the pad of paper, staring at the scrawlings 
curiously. Spike peered over his shoulder at the shaky handwriting. One word, 
'KILL', littered the surface, occasionally underlined as if for emphasis. 

Spike snorted. "Frustrated much?" he muttered softly. "Ouch!" He rubbed the ribs 
Oz had just elbowed. 

Oz didn't even bother turning to look at the vampire. "What's all this, man?" he 
asked Lindsey calmly. 

"Shit. I'd hoped that had stopped." 

"I'm assuming this is part of that evil hand thing you were talking about?" 

Lindsey closed his eyes exhaustedly. "You could say that, yes." 

"You look like shit, Linds," Oz commented. 

That got him a bark of laughter from the lawyer. "God, I just love it when you 
whisper sweet nothings to me." 

Oz's lips stretched into a grin. "At this point, you'll just have to settle for 
the offer of a bath and a bed." 

"Does that offer of a bed include you?" 

"It could happen." 

The lines on Lindsey's face softened, and he reached out to take hold of Oz's 
arm. "Missed you, baby," he murmured softly. 

"Ditto." Oz leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips. "C'mon, let's get 
you settled." 

Xander watched, wide-eyed, as the two disappeared into Oz's room. "Spike? Oz 
kissed him. Why'd he do that?" 

Spike blinked. "Well, that's his boyfriend and all, you know." 

"But he-- I didn't know-- Oz isn't...is he?" 

Shrugging, Spike replied, "Nothin' wrong with it, y'know." 

A haunted expression stole across Xander's face. "It's bad," he whispered, 
sniffling quietly. 

Spike frowned, sitting next to Xander and pulling him close, holding him against 
his chest. "Doesn't have to be, luv. Not when both blokes are willin'." 

Xander looked unconvinced. "He...he doesn't hurt him?" 

Sighing, he squeezed Xander tight. "Luv...there's so much you don't know about 
this sort of thing. What...happened to you -- that's not the way it always is." 
Spike struggled for the words to express himself. "With the right person, at the 
right time, it's...intense. And...sexy." He let out a wry chuckle. "It can be 
the greatest thing ever. It's not always about...pain, or power. 
Sometimes...sometimes it's about--" Spike took a breath and swallowed hard. 
"Sometimes it's about love," he admitted. 

Xander laid his head on Spike's shoulder, tilting it to look the vampire in his 
eyes. "Have you--" he started to ask, then stopped. 

Spike gave him a sad smile. "Both ways, luv." 

"Oh." Xander's hands tightened around Spike's waist. "I'm sorry." 

"S'ok, Xan." 

They sat in silence for a few minutes, then Xander yawned. Spike grinned. "Come 
on, to bed with you." 

"Mmmm, not sleepy," Xander said through another yawn. Spike just raised an 
eyebrow. "I just got up!" came the protest. 

"Uh-huh." Rolling his eyes, Spike stood, pulling Xander to his feet. "Well then, 
best get you fed I suppose." 

The boy's stomach growled in approval of this suggestion, and Xander followed 
Spike into the kitchen, smiling. 



A freshly showered Lindsey walked out into the living room wearing a clean pair 
of pants and nothing else. He noticed that Xander was absent again. 

Spike whistled. "Well Oz, certainly can't fault your taste." 

Oz sighed, shaking his head bemusedly. He handed Lindsey a glass of soda. "Don't 
have anything stronger," he explained when Lindsey stared at the beverage 
curiously. "Xander--" he flicked a glance over at Spike, then continued, "Xander 
feels more secure if we don't keep any alcohol in the house." 

"Huh." Lindsey nodded, then sipped cautiously at the drink. 

Oz took a seat on the sofa, motioning for his boyfriend to join him. 
"So...wasn't expecting you." 

Lindsey laughed briefly. "Yeah, I think we've covered that." 

"You've looked better, Linds," the werewolf remarked bluntly. 

"I imagine so," came the tired response. Then Lindsey lifted his right hand, 
twisting it back and forth as he stared at it with a mixture of revulsion and 
gratefulness. "But hey, at least I can play my guitar again!" 

Oz reached out and captured the newly attached limb, fingers massaging gently. 
"Wanna talk about it?" 

A sigh. "Sure, why not?" But he stared somewhat nervously at Spike. 

Nodding, Oz stood, pulling Lindsey up with him. "C'mon." He pulled the other man 
to his bedroom, and the door closed gently behind them. 

Spike sniffed. "Well, a bloke knows when he ain't wanted." With a roll of his 
eyes, he got up and went to join Xander in their room. He paused in the doorway, 
smiling at the sight of the boy, long limbs sprawling across the bed. With a 
fondly exasperated sigh, he walked over and pushed an arm aside, making room for 
himself. Stripping, he pulled on a pair of clean sweats, then climbed in beside 
Xander. He smiled as the boy automatically snuggled in close to him. 




Giles sighed as he hung up the phone. He supposed he should be thankful that no 
one matching Xander's description had as of yet turned up at the morgue, but it 
would be nice to get some sort of lead on the boy's whereabouts. Of course, 
Buffy was still firmly convinced that Xander had been turned, and was dead set 
on staking Spike...and Xander if need be. 

Giles wasn't so sure, though. Something told him that Xander was alive. And that 
Spike's involvement in Xander's disappearance wasn't some part of a plot to get 
at Buffy like the Slayer thought. God knows, he loved Buffy like she was his own 
child, but sometimes the girl could be so...obtuse! 

At least Willow appeared to be coping better. He'd thought for a while there 
that she was going to fall apart at the seams. Then suddenly, a few weeks ago, 
she'd simply...calmed. Of course, the two girls had taken to disappearing for 
odd intervals, becoming remarkably 'unavailable'. He was reluctant to chalk it 
up to hormones. 

Giles frowned as he stared across the room at the two witches, who were chatting 
softly as they leafed through one of his many books. Actually, now that he 
stopped to think about it, those two had become remarkably reticent to speak 
about Xander lately. It was if...they knew something. Something that they 
weren't sharing. About Xander perhaps? But then, what reason would they have to 
keep it a secret? Although, if Willow had heard something about Xander, it would 
tend to explain the way she'd tried to tone down their ongoing search for the 
boy. 

Perhaps those two were now involved in keeping him hidden? 

Giles shook his head, clearing it of all that idle speculation. He had no proof 
of anything of the sort. Still... 

He studied the girls once more, making a mental note to keep a close eye on 
them. 




"Wow." Oz blinked in a manner that conveyed his deep awe. "Heavy." 

"Tell me about it." 

They sat on Oz's bed in silence, Lindsey staring at his hand as he prodded the 
skin. 

Oz watched for a bit, then chuckled. "So," he said suggestively, lying back on 
the bed. "Why don't you show me what your new hand can do?" 

Lindsey's head shot up, taking in Oz's pose. He grinned, crawling up the smaller 
man's body. Straddling his slim waist, he leaned forward and pressed their lips 
together. Pulling away, he whispered, "Well, I can do this..." Both hands 
grasped the fabric of Oz's shirt, ripping it apart violently. 

Eyes dilating with extreme arousal, Oz arched his back, grinding his body up 
into Lindsey's. He reached for his shoulders. 

"And then there's this." Lindsey grabbed his hands, pushing them up over Oz's 
head and pressing them down. He kissed Oz again, smiling as the man began to 
writhe under him, trying halfheartedly to break free. 

When his lips were finally released, Oz murmured, "Both of which are good 
things, I agree." 

"Oh, you ain't seen nothin' yet, sugar." He almost snickered as he said that in 
a lilting tone, managing to catch himself and instead apply his new hand to the 
task of stripping them both out of the clothes they still had on. 

Once he had Oz naked under him, he simply stared. There was something about the 
other man's body; so smooth and lean, hiding his deceptive strength. He licked 
his lips; and it was all his... 

Scooting down, he lowered his head to Oz's lap, engulfing the erection he found 
there. Oz let out a strangled shout, clawing frantically at the bedsheets. 



Xander woke, frowning at the strange noises coming form the other end of the 
apartment. There was a steady 'thump, thump' beating its rhythm on the wall, and 
it took him a moment to place the sound. When he did, he stiffened. 

"Luv, you 'kay?" came the groggy question from his bedmate. 

Xander didn't answer, instead listening wide-eyed to the moans and muffled 
shouts drifting into their room. 

Spike came fully awake. "Xan?" A rather loud yell caught his attention, and he 
suddenly figured out what it was Xander was listening to. Bugger it. Couldn't 
they bloody keep it down? He sat up carefully, pulling Xander to his chest. 
"Wanna talk about it?" he asked, unconsciously mimicking Oz's earlier words to 
Lindsey. 

Xander took a deep breath. "They're...um..." 

"Shagging, yes. An' bein' bloody loud about it, too. Damned rude of 'em if you 
ask me." 

"You...you're sure he's not hurting him?" 

"Positive, luv. They're just havin' a bit of fun." 

Xander continued listening until the sounds drifted off. He shifted. "Spike?" 

"Yeah, pet?" 

"That look Lindsey gave Oz before he kissed him..." his voice trailed off. 

"Yeah?" Spike coaxed. 

Ducking his head, Xander traced random lines across the vampire's chest. 
"You...you look at me like that sometimes," he whispered. 

Hell. Spike cleared his throat nervously. "I do?" He cursed at the slight squeak 
in his voice. He felt Xander nod. "Oh. I can...stop if you like." Yeah, like 
maybe if someone rips my eyeballs out. 

Xander shrugged. "It's ok." He seemed to struggle for more words. "Spike?" 

"Uh-huh?" 

"Do you...do you wanna...kiss me? Like that?" 

Spike sighed. "Doesn't matter what I want, Xan. I won't do anything to you 
unless you want me to. Ok?" 

"Ok." Silence, then, "But Spike?" 

The vampire stifled a groan. "Yes?" 

"You want to, don't you?" 

Just tell him, y'coward! 

Sod off! You and your bossy ideas. Liable to get a vamp in trouble. 

Tell him. Please? 

Spike squeezed Xander gently. "Wouldn't mind," he admitted softly. 

"Oh." 

Spike was somewhat surprised the Xander didn't pull away from him then, but he 
wasn't going to argue. Instead, he scooted them back down until they were once 
more lying in bed. 

"Night, Spike." 

"Night, Xan." He stroked the boy's hair for a moment, then grew still. He had 
almost fallen asleep again when he felt Xander pull out of his arms. He forced 
himself to let go. 

His eyes flew open with shock, however, when he felt a warm pair of lips brush 
softly across his own. It lasted the barest instant, then Xander resettled his 
head on Spike's chest. 

Knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep again for a while, Spike was content to 
hold Xander as the boy drifted off. He stared up through the darkness at the 
ceiling. God...or whoever's listenin' up there...don't you fuckin' let this be a 
dream! He glared. Amen. 

Listening to Xander's even breathing, he smiled. Love you, Xan. Maybe...just 
maybe, we got a chance.



The End