Title: Betrayal by the Heart part 8

Author: Jozzy

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters

Spoilers: the 3^rd season

'Shipper: Willow/Angel

Rating: PG13 for language

It was hard at first, the cold silence that accompanied us when we entered the library, the dark stares that ripped at you soul. I don't know  how we are going to end this stupid feud but we are going to end it. I can't stand to see Willow this way; she spends all her time pining after those idiots. They don't know what they lost when they betrayed her this way.

I don't really care about how they treat me. I am quite used to people acting as if I am less than they are. Vampires do it because of my soul and humans because I am...me . But Willow is one of the sweetest people I've ever known. I don't think that I've ever seen her be mean to anyone. She is full of this sensitivity and affection that makes her shine like a beacon in this pit of darkness we like to call Sunnydale.

I want Willow to be happy; it's become my mission in life (besides saving the world that is.) She spends so much of her time putting others ahead of herself, and now all of her so called friends go and dump all of this shit on her. I don't want to see her in all of the pain, which she tries to hide behind her beautiful smile. So I've decided to make her smile as much as possible at whatever expense (including my pride,) which is why I am sitting her, 242 years old, playing Tomb Raider ™ at four o'clock in the morning. I'm getting the crap kicked out of me by the way. This game is a lot harder than it looks. I, who have destroyed some pretty powerful demons and managed to last almost three centuries, am getting my ass kicked by a damn machine. It doesn't help my pride that Willow is rolling on the ground laughing at me so hard tears are forming in her eyes. No, that definitely is not helping me concentrate. But she's laughing and that's what's important. I'd do anything to see that smile.

********

Angel is driving me crazy, but in a good way. It's so sweet that he wants to help me. I think he sees how sad I am and wants me to be happy. Unfortunately he thinks the way to cheer me up is to be with me every minute of the night. And though I do enjoy his company, it is awful tiring never having a moment to myself. I love Angel, but I need my space. I think that he believes that he has to keep me busy all night so that I don't sit at home and brood. He thinks that because that's what he does, that's what I would do. But really all I want to do is go home and check my email and then maybe crawl into my bed and read a good book.

But I don't know how to tell him so I've been sitting here every night watching Angel get his ass kicked at this game. Angel got the Playstation last weekend. I said something about being kind of bored ('there's nothing left to do here Angel, I might as well go home.') and he rushed out and bought a Playstation. I didn't know how to tell him that video games are more of a Xander thing, so I just sit here and watch. Sometimes its funny, in fact I happen to be laughing my ass off most of the time, but after a while I'll start longing for home again.

I'm just wondering when I'm going to go to get some real sleep. I have had major test all week, but every night Angel has managed to keep me up until dawn. I don't think my grades are suffering yet, but he and I really need to have a long talk. I can't keep doing this so I guess I'm just going to have to gather my courage and sit him down. Tomorrow.

*********

"Angel?"

"Yeah Will."

" I need to talk to you."

Angel turned toward Willow a smile on his face, pausing his game so that he could give her his undivided attention.

"Its about us…me…you…this."

"I don't think that I understand what you mean."

" Angel I can't stay here anymore."

"Why not? Aren't you having fun Willow?"

Willow smiled at the vampire, " Its not that Angel. I have a great time here, but I need some time to myself."

"I just don't want you to feel lonely."

"I know that Angel and I really want to thank you for looking after me. You're the only friend I have right now and I'm really glad for that. But I need some time to myself, time to think about what's going on in my life. I've been so much time here, not thinking about all this stuff. But I have to think about it, I can't get over it if I don't. "

"Willow I'm sorry about if I've hindered you in anyway…"

"Oh, Angel that's not what I'm saying. I still want to hang out with you and stuff, just not as much as I am now. I have to start living a normal life again. I won't let them break me. I have to think about reality again. Like school, which I have been sleeping through way too much of."

"Sleeping through…Willow are you falling asleep in class? God, I'm sorry I guess I'm having the opposite affect of what I want. You should probably crash here tonight, but starting tomorrow I'll make sure you get home at a reasonable hour."

"Angel…"

"No, Willow its alright. You told me the truth about this situation, which is what I needed to here. Don't feel bad about speaking your mind. Now I'm just going to save my game and then we'll get you to bed."

"Aren't you going to sleep Angel?"

"No, I think that I'll take another sweep across the town before I turn in. I'll probably get back in enough time to wake you up so you can leave for school."

"Are you sure your not mad Angel?"

"Of course not Will, now go to bed."

"Okay…Well goodnight Angel."

"Goodnight."

*********

I can't believe I was such an idiot. Willow doesn't need me to look after her. This was just some pathetic excuse on my part to get her to comfort me. It was never about her, I kept her there because that big mansion is lonely and I wanted some company.

If I was really looking out for her then she wouldn't be falling asleep in class. Willow, falling asleep in class, what is that? Way to go Dead Boy, cause the only person too ever really care about you to flunk out of high school. Wonderful.

*********

He's mad at me. He said he wasn't but I know the truth. He thinks I'm such an ungrateful brat. Here he is sacrificing his evenings trying to make me feel better. And I tell him he's crowding my space. He could have been doing something else, but he wanted to make sure that I was all right. This is how I repay him. Way to go Willow.