Title: Wedding Day

Author: Velvet Crypt

tirel@pcnuthut.com

Rating: R

Summary: On Xander and Anya's wedding day, Buffy's eyes are opened.

Spoilers: Before Hell’s Bells

 

 

“And you should see Spike’s date. What a skanky ho.” Dawn said in disgust.

 

 

“See? I told you she was a skank.” Dawn hissed from near Buffy’s elbow. “I’d better go make sure he doesn’t throw up from her tongue being down his throat.” Dawn stalked of in his direction smirking a bit at  the look of mortification on Buffy’s face as she saw Spike kissing Skanky Ho.

 

Buffy sank into a chair in the back of the church, staring at Spike and his…date. She watched Dawn walk up and, not so politely, drag Spike’s attention, and lips, away from the goth girl. She watched, in pain as Spike twined the girl’s fingers with his own as he smiled at Dawn. She watched as they sat; Dawn and Spike in chairs, ‘the date’ in his lap. She watched as ‘the date’ ran her fingers through Spike’s soft hair, over his accented cheekbones, down his chest.

 

“Buffy? Whatcha doing?” Willow plopped down next to her. Buffy shook herself back to reality and took her eyes off of Spike.

 

“Umm, just resting for a second.” She smiled wanely at her best friend. Willow didn’t look convinced.

 

“Your second has been 20 minutes. I’ve been timing you.” Willow pointed to the clock on the wall above Buffy.

 

~20 minutes? Wha the hell…I’m obsessed. Why am I obsessed? I left him. I. Left. Him. Why did I leave him? Oh, yeah…dead guy. But is that really a reason? Can’t I love whoever I want? Of course not . I’m trhe Slayer. I can’t love anybody. They could get hurt… They could leave me. Angel left me. Riley left me. Of course I drove him away. Like I’m trying to do with Spike. But Riley is happy now. He has Sam. Angel may not be doing cartwheels, but he has something to be happy for…Connor. He has someone to love. Who do I hae to love? My friends. My sister. I do love them. But I’m not in love with them.

 

I don’t want to cry on their shoulders. I don’t want to snuggle up to them when I’ve had a bad day and let htem hold me. I can’t get lost in them and let myself be safe. I hae to be strong for them. But I want to be safe. Safe, not protected. I want someone who’ll let me be the Slayer. Who can understand  my darkness, and who loves me for it as much as he loves the light I create.  I want to be loved. I want to love. I deserve it. I deserve him.~

 

“So go tell him,” Willow said softly. Buffy jumped and stared at Wilow wide eyed.

 

“Those weren’t internal thoughts?” she squeaked. Willow smiled.

 

“Yes, they were internal thoughts, Buffy. But I could hear them anyway. Here…here…there,” The witch ggently touched  Buffy’s eyelids, then her chest above her heart, and finally followed the path of Buffy’s previous gaze, settling on Spike. “Go…tell him how you feel. You deserve each other.” She laughed at Buffy’s offended look. “I love you, Buffy. And in a really bizzaro way, I love Spike. I love him because he loves you and Dawn unconditionally. And because, as hard as he tries not to…he loves us. That’s just how love is. Loving because you are loved…because you can’t help yourself…just because you can, the reason doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that it is. Real love won’t go away. It will linger waiting for you acknowledge it. And every day, it will remind you that it’s there…waiting to be noticed. The more you ignore it…the harder it works to make you see it.

 

I don’t know when you fell in love, Buffy. But I know you are in love. Because It hurts to watch you. Because I want to run to Tara and tell her I’m sorry and I’ll love her forever. Because love recognizes love. You know he loves you. He knows you love him. And it’s killing him that you won’t admit it, acknowledge it. He favced him demon. He stared it in the face and resigned himself to it. Then worked his ass off to make his life fit his love. You need to see that, Buffy. That you have to make lift fit love. Because love will not change to fit life. No matter how painfull it is.”

 

Buffy didn’t even notice the tears rolling down her face. She reached up to cup Willow’s cheek. “I love you, Willow Rosenberg.” She whispered. Willow smiled through her tears.

 

“I love you, too, Buffy Summers. Now, go tell him that same thing…err, but not the Willor Rosenberg part,” she looked confused for a moment, and Buffy’s laughter rang out through the room. “Oh, and get that skanky ho off of him. She gives me the creeps.”

 

Spike felt her laugh ripple down his spine. His eyes closed briefly, drinking the sound in.

 

“Like that, do you, lover?” His date chuckled, thinking that her fingers digging through the buttons on his shirt caused his shudder.

 

“What?” he blinked at her. She scooted down a bit on his lap and ran her fingers down to his crotch. He started briefly and his eyes flew to Dawn, who was giving him the ‘eww’ face.

 

“Excuse, me, but could you please get your hand out of my boyfriend’s pants?” Spike jerked his head up to see Buffy standing with her arms crossed, glaring at his date. ~Cor, she’s gorgeous even in that horrible dress. I’d love to take her in my arms and…boyfriend?~

 

“Who the hell are you?” the girl on his lap returned the Slayer’s glare.

 

“Buffy Summers, nice to meet you…now please leave.” The girl gave her an incredulous look and smirked.

 

“I really don’t care who the hell you are. I saw him first, and he’s my date.”

 

Dawn stood  in a huff, unconsciously mimicking her sister’s stance. “You’d better care who she is, Skanky! She’s gonna kick your ass.”

 

“Language,” Spike and Buffy said in the same breath. Dawn rolled her eyes.

 

“And obviously he’s not your date. You don’t kow the first thing about the words I’ m not supposed to use.”

 

“Uhm, Buffster? Is there a problem?” Spike looked up to see Xander hovering behind the Slayer. “Cause if there’s a problem on Anya’s wedding day, I’m in a lot of trouble.” Spike grinned as Buffy answered, never taking her eyes off his date.

 

“Nope, no problem here. Just telling…I never did catch your name, not that I really give a rat;s ass…that she needed to stop groping my boyfriend and haul herself out of here.” Xander’s jaw dropped.

 

“B-boyfriend?” he mouthed, looking at a grinning Spike.

 

“I think she means me, whelp.” He said smugly.

 

“Oh God, I’m gonna pass out.” Xander put his hand to his head and wandered to a pew to sit down.

 

“I don’t think you have the slightest idea of who you’re messing with, blondie,” the girl settled herself more confortably in Spike’s lap. “I bite.” The girl’s features flew into and out of game face so fast that, if someone weren’t watching her face carefully, they woudn’t have seen it.

 

Buffy grinned. “So, Spike, do you have a long standing friendship going on here?”

 

He shrugged. “Just met the chit. Promised her a bit of the rough and tumble if she came as me date.”

 

“Hmmm, well, that’s good to know.” Lightening quick, she reached out and snatched a handful of the vamps hair. With a quick jerk, she pulled the girl off of Spike’s lap and then drop kicked her into a pew. Snarling, not trying to hide its game face, the vamp lunged at the Slayer. “oh, goody,” Buffy kicked off her shoes. “Just promise to rip the dress really badly, so I don’t have to be photographed in it, ok?”

 

Unfortunately, that wasn’t to be. As the vamp moved in, Buffy became a blur of motion, punching and kicking the girl across the room. The vamp stumbled, and began to look a bit worried. ~You should look worried, Skanky. You nearly got a grip on Little Spikey.~ Buffy’s eye caught on an object in th corner of her vision and she nearly laughed.

 

With a deft series of movements, she lunged at the wall, jerked the wooden cross down and braced as the vamp charged, impaling itrself. The vamp raised astonished eyes to Buffy, who blew it a kiss…just before it exploded into a cloud of dust.

 

Setting the cross down, she brushed her hands and her dress off, and turned back to her love. He was watching her with a strange mix of wry amusement, pproving pride and wary nervousness.

 

“Well, pet, am I next?” He forced himself not to tense as his goddess stalked back towards him.

 

 

He grinned cockily. “So, luv, what’s with the boyfriend bit? I thought we were avoiding that word like the plague; along with love, sex, need, future, chip,…” he continued to add to his list, ticking off the words one by one on his fingers.

 

He found his mouth covered with a tiny but strong hand. “Shut up, Spike.” She smiled softly. “I have some different words for you. Ten of them in fact.” Kneeling in front of him, she took her hand away from his mouth and batted his hands out of her way.

 

 “I’m…” she held up one finger.

“Sorry…” two fingers.

“Can…” three.

“We…” four.

“Please…” five.

“Try…” six.

“Again…”seven.

“I…” eight.

“Love…"nine.

“You…”ten.

 

He knew looked shellshocked. He felt shellshocked. He could have sworn his heart began beating again for a moment. ~This is a dream. Another bloody dream. Wake up, mate. Wake up…~ He didn’t wake up. So very slowly, he reached for her still outstreatched fingers and grazed them with his own. ~I;m shaking. Oh, yeah…great place to become a ig poofter…the middle of a wedding ceremony with half the poputlation of hell in attendance.~ As soon as their finders touched, Buffy entwined them and stood, pulling him up with her.

 

“Nothing to say, Big Bad?” she smirked at him. “This has got to be a first.”

 

“A-are, “ He actually had to clear his throat. “Are you yanking my chain, Slayer. Cause if you are, it’s not funny. Not funny at all.” His eyes were filled with longing and hope…and fear. “Love me or don’t love me, Buffy, but don’t step on my heart anymore.”

 

“I’ sorry I was…am…a complete ass, Spike.” She spoke only to him, but her voice was strong and sure, reahing to the corners of the room. Willow felt a dmall hand sneak into hers and looked down to see Tara’s hand twined with hers. With a squeeze and a silent thank you to the Goddess, she turned back to watch. 

 

“You were right. I was afraid. Of me, of what everyone else thought, of being hurt. But I was never afraid of you. Never!” She gripped his hands fiercely. “I’m never afraid of you. Of being who I am with you. You let me be who I am even when she’s a bitch, because you love her. You love the bitch, the scared girl, the Slayer, Buffy. All of us. And we love you. The Big Bad, the demon, the big brother, the friend…William.”  She took a deep breath and poured all of her love into her eyes.

 

“Spike, William…love. Please forgive me for doubting your love for me. Please let me make it up to you. Let me love you.”

 

As he stood gazing down at her, she watched the tears fill his eyes. Slowly he nodded. “Y-yes…please,” his voice broke and he gulped back a sob. With a growl to cover the whimper, he jerked her body to him and crushed her lips to his. Drowning in her taste, her smell, her love, he became aware of a sound of thunder penetrating his fogged mind. Pulling away from his love for a moment, he was astonished to view a sea of faces, human and demon alike, clapping, stomping their feet and whistling.

 

As he watched in confusion, Xander stepped up to him, trying to wipe his eyes inconspiculously. “Well, if you two are done with the show, can I get married now?” He joked.

 

“Sure, mate…go on and get hitched with that lovely demon lass of yours,” Spike knew he was grinning stupidly , but he couldn’t help himself. Then he was subject to the second life altering event of the day.

 

“Umm, Spike,” Xander flushed and looked at his shoes for a moment. “Anya has Buffy, Tara, and Dawn over there on her side. Wills is the only one I have standing with me. You, umm…you want to come up and keep her company?” As the silence stretched on, Xnader looked up to see Spike’s expression.

 

The vampire’s jaw clenched as he swallowed. “Yeah, sure, mate,” he forced a grin though his voice was barely above a whisper. “After all, you need someone to counter all the radioactive green you got goin on up there.”  Xander tossed caution to the winds, after all, this was his wedding day…he could blame it on nerves later. With a step forward, he enveloped the smaller man in a brief hug, feeling the vampires arms tremble slightly as they crept around him.

 

“Come on, people! We have a marriage to perform.”

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