Turn On, Tune In, Cop Out
Part Four
By Triggersaurus
catherine@cjtrigg.freeserve.co.uk

Disclaimer: I'm a student: I'm not worth suing



"I hoped I would never have to call this meeting. But unfortunately, the circumstances have arisen that now we have to make a difficult decision. About an hour ago, for whatever reason, approximately thirty people managed to break into the closed set, and consequently roughly fifteen of those people managed to get into the Emergency Room itself.

I wish I could say that they caused no damage and were removed before anything could happen, but it is my duty to inform you that they have probably leaked information to at least ten members of the staff. We know of three incidents that have occurred - in one a man completely ruined a trauma scene and the actor involved nearly let the whole thing slip, in another one of our doctors was set upon by hormonal teenagers, and there has also been a report from Information Services that someone may well have discovered some of our equipment that is used in trauma scenes.

We went off air as soon as we knew that our security lines had been breached, so fortunately very little of this disruption has been transmitted to the viewers. The problem now is that almost all of our doctors and nurses are asking questions. And we have to decide whether this means the end of ER, or whether we can come up with a plausible explanation that they will all buy."

Steven Spielberg looked at the faces sat around the large executive's table. John Wells and Michael Crichton, on his left and right respectively, gazed straight ahead, or looked at the other faces. They both looked set in stone. Dr. Neal Baer, further down the table with Dr. Lance Gentile, looked a mixture of angry and despairing. Dr. Gentile himself looked exhausted - he'd been supervising all night previously and this was a huge blow to a normal person, let alone one who hadn't slept. A team of additional writers and producers sat at the far end of the table, at least three of them held their heads in their hands.

"We don't have long to decide this, because right now we're having to run repeats and the network executives are pushing us for a decision. Before long we're going to be left with dead air and either way we're going to be broadcasting the results of our decision. So we're going to take an hour to talk it over, weigh it all up, discuss the options, and then we're going to take a vote between the truth and the best explanation we can offer."

He leant back in his seat and gestured to John Wells to begin the discussion, only moving forward to press the buzzer on an intercom system. "Sheila, can you bring us some coffee in here please?"

"Hey, Carter?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know that girl who collapsed earlier? About 14, called Mary?"

He shook his head, "Nope. Was she one of the kids that mauled me?"

"Kids mauled you?"

"Yeah.this gang just came in and pounced."

"I don't know. I'll ask her. She wanted to see you, but she's delusional.

I'm waiting on a tox screen."

"Okay Cleo."

"Carter!"

"Dr. Weaver?"

"Staff meeting now, in the lounge."

"Okay.whose covering?"

"No-one, just get in here."

Carter raised an eyebrow, but followed her into the staff lounge. The room was stuffed with doctors and nurses, and Carter stood next to Mark, who was holding a mug of coffee.

"What's going on?" he whispered.

"Some really weird stuff's been happening. I hear you were a victim of a lynch mob yourself."

"Yeah.you mean other stuff's been happening?"

"Yeah. We had this guy in trauma earlier, shot three times in the chest, practically flatlining and then he just sat up and started talking while he was still flatlining."

Carter's eyebrows shot upwards.

There was a sudden banging, and everyone fell quiet. Kerry stopped bashing the lockers with her crutch and gestured to everyone to sit down where they could.

"I have to make this quick because we have no-one covering, but we've had some very unusual happenings this morning and I just wanted to inform you all that I will find the culprit, and whoever it is will be out of a job as soon as they are named. I want to know what's going on and why. We've had some serious disruption to the ER today and it will not be tolerated. I don 't know whose smart idea it was to set up an.audio cable," she looked at Dave who was stood towards the back of the room, whirling the short end of the cable around, "in Trauma One, and I don't know who thought it was fun to set a gang on Dr. Carter, but as soon as I do know you can guarantee that person will not be working in the Chicago region again."

On that note, Kerry left the room, causing a ripple of talk around the small lounge. Several people left to go and see patients. Mark stood next to his locker, and frowned.

"You know, I really don't think this is some practical joke. I don't know what it is, but it's far too elaborate for that."

"You think? An audio cable seems kinda high tech for your average surgi-lube joker."

"Yeah. I think it's bigger than that."

Similar conversations filled the room. Dave sauntered up to the two doctors. "What do you reckon? Conspiracy by those freaks in management? I think they're keeping track of us, giving us patients to test our abilities. What if it's all fake, they just invent all these patients so they make the ultimate teaching hospital? Huh? You saw that cable, and that guy in the trauma, Dr. Greene. What if everyone we treat is just fine but they're actors?" He twirled the cable he was still holding like a lasso. Carter laughed. "Yeah Dave, and no-one dies. It's all Never-never land. Should suit you just fine, you'll never grow up if that's the case." He laughed some more and looked out of the glass panel in the lounge door. The smile soon disappeared when he saw a young girl, who looked mildly familiar, outside. Before he could do anything, she swung around and saw him. "Uh ohhh.uh ohh." He moved swiftly, looking desperately for a place to hide.

"Carter? What's going on?"

"One of those kids from earlier.she's still here and she just locked eyes on her target."

Mark opened his mouth to speak, but was beaten to it by the door crashing open and the predator hurling herself across the room.

"Carter, Carter, Carter!!!" she squealed.

Dave covered his mouth with one hand, trying to suppress the laughter. Carter, stuck in the path of the teenager, shot a despairing glance at him and Mark, before being grabbed and.kissed loudly.

Dave could control himself no more and collapsed on the couch. "John's. John 's got....groupies!" he managed to splutter out. Carter would have thrown him a look of distaste had he been free of being smothered - this girl was now patting his head, fingering his lapel, and talking what sounded a lot like baby language.

"Ooh, look at your hair, it's all messed up, let me fix it! Oh you're so CUTE! Do that look, you know, where your eyes make you look like a puppy."

Sensing that Carter was completely out of his depth and not enjoying the sudden bout of mothering from this strange child, Mark moved to extricate her, but not before she started waving a camera around. In fact, he couldn' t grab her because the camera flash went off in his eyes and left purple dots everywhere for a few moments. But while she was trying to cut off the circulation to the lower half of Carter's body by issuing a vice-like hug around the waist, he reached out and pulled her away. Time for some of those well practised parenting skills, he thought, putting her down on the far side of the room and gesturing for Carter to move out of her line of vision.

"Excuse me, but this isn't a public area - didn't you see the sign on the door?"

"Yes, but I wanted to see John!"

"But I'm afraid John doesn't know you. What's your name?"

"I'm Mary. And I know he doesn't know me, but I know him! I watch him everyday, me and my friends all do, we think he's sooo cute!"

Just as he was beginning to recover, Dave collapsed again. "Way to go John, you got a stalker!!"

Carter, slightly infuriated by Dave's smart-ass comments, felt the need to question this point. "What do you mean, you watch me everyday?!"

"On TV! I've been watching ever since ER started, when you started working here and when you graduated, and when you got stabbed.oh that was so sad!! Poor Lucy!!"

All three doctors jolted as this poured from Mary's mouth. Mark was the first to voice the question on everyone's minds.

"Did you say you watched us on TV?"

"Yes! Everyday! I'm the biggest fan ever!" She jumped up and down and squealed again, "And I can't believe I'm actually here!!"

Dave sat up, "You mean we're on TV??" A slow grin formed across his face. "How can we be on TV? There aren't any cameras!" Carter pointed out. Mark took the girl by the shoulders and started to lead her out of the room. Turning back to the others, he said "I think she's taken something. I'll go and get a tox screen."

"Wait!" Carter called out, and Mark returned. "She's already had one - she collapsed earlier and Cleo treated her. Said she was acting weird then too.asking for me. I swear, I've never seen her before. How can she know so much about me, aside from what she said?"

"Yeah," Dave chimed in, "what if she's telling the truth??"

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