Emergency Room
Part Two
By Gary Schneeberger
TheSchnays@cs.com

LEGAL STUFF: The "E.R." characters are not owned by me. Neither are the actors who play them, who aren't owned by anybody because America is a free country, darnit. So I'd appreciate not being contacted by any attorneys -- or even by any actors who play attorneys on TV.

Mark wasn't sure what upset him more -- the fact that parts of his life were going to be portrayed on television, or the fact
that the actor who was going to be portraying them had played Gilbert in "Revenge of the Nerds."

"Revenge of the what?" Elizabeth asked, failing to completely stifle the smile Mark's agitation had stirred.

"The Nerds. Revenge of the Nerds. Don't they have nerds in England?"

"Well, I imagine we do. I'm just not sure we call them the same thing."

"Nerds, Elizabeth. Nerds. Goofy guys. Idiots. People who look funny. People everybody makes fun of. Nerds."

"You mean like Prince Charles?"

She couldn't help the teasing tone of the words, or the big grin that punctuated them -- not that she tried much, though.

"So you've never seen the movie?"

"No, I guess it didn't make it to the cinema in London."

His face was getting redder, her grin was getting wider.

"You have no idea who Anthony Edwards is, then?"

"Well, no, Mark, but I'm sure he's --- "

"Fine. I have rounds."

Elizabeth didn't much like the idea of this TV movie, either, but if Mark was going to be all cute and flummoxed like this
through the whole thing, she thought as he hurried away down the hall, it might not be so bad after all.



"Bingo!"

Kerry whipped around as quickly as her physical limitations allowed, knowing Randi's call   meant she'd found what she'd been
asked to find.

"Let me see it," she said, inadvertently spearing Randi in the foot with her crutch in her haste to commandeer the computer.
Her eyes darted voraciously through the synopsis of "Emergency Room" NBC had provided on its Web site, aware from her own refection in the screen that she'd have to try to look a little more enthused when she broke the news to everyone else.

"Staff meeting. Now," she yelled as she pushed the "Print Screen" button on the keyboard. "In the lounge."



“What are you smiling about?”

“Oh, hello, Peter. It’s nothing. It’s just ... Mark ...”

Benton recognized the smile. She must be doing that teasing-the-boyfriend thing again.

“Actually, I’m hoping you’ll smile, too, when I tell you what I have to tell you.”

That didn’t sound promising. He’d only been in the hospital three minutes, hadn’t even put his scrubs on, and there was already bad news?

“Romano on the warpath again?”

“Not exactly. It appears the board has agreed to let a TV network make a movie about the E.R., about some of the things
that have been happening around here lately, like you and Luka saving those kids at the school.”

“What? They’re making a movie about us?”

“Not just you and Luka. All of us. And some of the crew and the actors are going to be visiting today to talk to us, to do some
research. That’s about all I know. I guess they’ll be here in 45 minutes or so.”

Great, Benton thought. I should have stayed in Atlanta with Carter.



Malucci, as always, was the last to arrive.

"Sorry, chief. Hemorrhoids in curtain two."

" ... and that's what happened to my leg."

Malucci looked up, shocked, as he took a seat at the table with Abby, Cleo and Jing-Mei -- right next to Jing-Mei, again as
always. Kerry had always wanted to pull that one on him, and although she didn't feel particularly mirthful at the moment,
she figured a little levity was in order to break the ice.

The laughter in the room, and the OK-you-got-me look on Malucci's face, told her she'd made the right call.

"Actually, the reason I got you all together is to let you know about some visitors we're going to have today. It seems NBC has
decided to make a movie of the week about the E.R., our E.R., and some writers and actors are going to be taking a look around and asking some questions."

"They're making a movie about us?" Cleo had the same perplexed tone in her voice that Kerry, Mark and Elizabeth had had 15
minutes ago. "Why?"

"Apparently they think what we do around here is pretty dramatic. Anyway, I don't know much about it -- Romano just told
Mark and I it was happening a few minutes ago. What I do know is that the board has signed off on it and we all need to
cooperate. So try your best to answer any questions the crew or the actors may have."

"A movie, huh? Too cool."  It was Malucci, whose reaction Kerry could have predicted if she'd bothered to think about it. "I bet Brad Pitt's going to play me."

"Only if Donald and Daffy Duck are busy with other projects."

Touché, Jing-Mei, rang through the collective minds of the room.

"Who's playing who is about all I can tell you right now," Kerry continued. "Romano's apparently got a draft of the script, but we haven't seen it. So all I know is what NBC has posted on its Web site. They aren't using our real names -- apparently that's not legal - - but in looking this over it's pretty clear who's supposed to be who."

She pulled on her glasses to read from the printout in her hand, as the collective minds of the room enjoyed their last few
moments of not knowing whether they'd be pleased or disappointed by their impending brushes with fame.

"In 'Emergency Room,' the overworked and underpaid residents are the heroes of Chicago General Hospital as they make life-and-death decisions every day."

Sounds good so far, the collective minds of the room thought.

"The staff includes Dr. Mike Black -- that would be you, Mark -- a senior attending physician with a promising future whose job cost him his marriage, played by Anthony Edwards ... "

Mark winced, and primed his ears to pick up on any errant laughter from his colleagues.

" Dr. Phillip Barton --- that has to be Peter -- an intense, self-assured surgeon ...”

Self-assured. Nice euphemism, Luka thought.

.. played by Eriq La Salle .... Dr. Kathy Siever  -- I guess that's me -- a tough and determined physician who often  ...
umm ... rubs her colleagues the wrong way ... "

"Wow, you sure this isn't a documentary, chief ?"

Where were another set of hemorrhoids when you needed them?

“Dr. Siever is played by Laura ... Laura ... Inns? ...”

Sounds like the name of a bed and breakfast, she thought.

“Dr. Elaine Cornette, a dedicated surgeon from Great Britain -- that must be Elizabeth, Mark -- played by Alex Kingston ...”

Mark had no idea who Alex Kingston was, but he was pretty sure she wasn’t in “Revenge of the Nerds” -- and if she was she was probably one of the sexy coeds Gilbert and his geeky buddies lusted after.

“ ... Dr. Vlade Kucoc -- that’s you, Luka -- an emergency room attending physician who recently joined the staff at Chicago
General, played by Goran I’m-not-even-going to try-to-pronounce-the-last-name ...”

Vlade Kucoc? Wasn’t that a basketball player, Luka thought.

“ ... Dr. Cassie Robin  -- Cleo, that's you, I guess -- an assertive second-year   resident in emergency medicine and
pediatrics played by Michael Michele ...”

I’m being played by a guy?  Cleo wasn’t sure she’d heard right.

Dr. Dan Fanucci, a gregarious -- there’s a charitable word, Malucci -- second-year resident played by Erik Palladino ...”

Erik who? Malucci wondered.

Dr. Young  Chang -- that’d be you, Dr. Chen -- a competitive third-year resident; played by Ming-Na ...”

At least her name isn’t Deb, Jing-Mei thought.

“ ... and Addie Lincoln -- Abby -- a third-year medical student and former OB nurse played by Maura Tierney ...”

Oh, I loved her on “NewsRadio,” Abby thought. But I’m a lot prettier than she is.

“And finally, Dr. Richard Rosetti -- Paul McCrane -- the arrogant new chief of staff ... and there’s no points for guessing who he’s supposed to be.”

“Oh, let me try anyway, Dr. Weaver.”

It was Romano, grinning that condescending grin only he could grin, standing at the door of the lounge with an entourage of at
least eight milling about behind him.

“It seems our guests caught an earlier flight from Los Angeles. So if you’re finished -- and, well, even if you’re not -- let me
make some introductions ... ”

Mark searched the group for the face of Anthony Edwards, spotting it on a guy who’s head was way too bald for it to
really be him.

“ ... cast of  ‘Emergency Room,’ meet the cast of the E.R.”

To be continued.....