When They Found Out
Kerry Weaver
By Elena Ridgeway
spunkie_2003@yahoo.com
My Valentine's Day pretty much sucked, unless you count watching the Romance Channel worthwhile. Lots of stupid movies about love. I guess that was just me being bitter at not having any, but I have a right to do what I feel like.
I came into work, and knew right away that the music I was hearing must be coming from another one of the ER's famous parties. Cleo said it was slow, so I decided to let to party continue for a little bit. As soon as I put my stuff away, I went and turned off the music. I couldn't let them think I would let them get away with anything. I have to keep my reputation. Luka gave me some patient to take care of, and I was yet again reminded of the fact that I needed to make sure everything was in working order in my ER. After Dr.Chen started telling me about some kind of Booty Oil, I saw a bloody footprint on the floor. I froze. I just had a feeling that something was very, very wrong. I opened the door,and to my dismay, found out I was right.
John Carter lay on the floor in front of me, blood everywhere. I ran and checked for a pulse, which was fairly strong considering how much blood was everywhere. While I was down checking his pulse, I saw Lucy Knight. She looked bad, and I ran to her. Chen had heard my scream and come running in, gasping when she saw John. I told her to yell for everyone and stay with him, that I had Lucy and she was pretty bad. Everything was a blur. People ran in and out, and it seemed like an eternity before we actually got her out of there. I tried to keep a clear head and treat her like any other patient, but it was hard. She was really bad off, and I couldn't believe this had happened. How long were they in there? No one knows. They were bleeding to death, and no one knows. They were having a party.
I looked through the doors at John, and saw how much blood was on his back. I turned away. I could only handle one at a time. Lucy wasn't improving at all, and Dave realized she a trach lac. I told him to get Benton, and tried to calm myself down. It was too much. Somehow we got her trached, but then Chen came and grabbed Benton because Carter was in bad shape and needed to get to surgery ASAP. I wished Lucy was stable enough to go up, but she went downhill from there. She tamponaded, and I had to do the hardest thing I ever did in my life: I cracked her chest open. I thought I would throw up right then and there, but remembered I had to stay professional. A laceration to the proximal aorta. She was done. I knew it. To think about it now, I knew that she was going to die when I heard that. But I pushed it out of my mind. As soon as we restarted her heart, we got her up there.
I had nothing on my mind but to get outside and find a garbage can. I threw up. Lucy and Carter. Surgery. And the blood. In my ER. MY ER. I felt so helpless and responsible. I wanted to blame anything and everybody. When that psych patient came in, who had scarred my life and so many others forever, I couldn't handle it. I swear to god if I had treated him that I would have done something that I regretted. Something unspeakable. Like what he did to Carter and Lucy. I sat by the phone after that, waiting for some form of news. Lucy made it out of surgery, which made me hopeful. They almost removed Carter's kidney but managed to save it. Another hopeful sign. I reminded myself that things could still go downhill after this, but it was still hopeful news.
I guess I wasn't terribly surprised when Romano came down and said that Lucy hadn't made it and Carter was still in surgery. But it was still a shock. I kind, sweet, promising med student, dead after a senseless act of violence. Some guy who thought they were going to take his organ, because he was a nut, took a life just like that. And he doesn't even realize it. Thats what made me really mad. No reason, no goddamn reason for any of it. I just sat there, afraid to move. I wanted to stay by the phone, just in case Carter didn't pull through. I had to know, asap. When I found out he was OK, I went up to recovery. He was sleeping, but a look of anguish was on his face, and I knew he knew. Somehow, I knew where to go after that. I found Romano in there already. He was closing her chest. I cut the thread for him. Then I went for the sheet. It was my duty. I was in charge of her. She worked in my ER. I should help give her closure. Robert said nurses could do it. But Lucy deserved better.
I wish I had gotten to say goodbye.
