When They Found Out
Peter Benton
By Elena Ridgeway
spunkie_2003@yahoo.com

Cleo wanted to go get her dry cleaning, and I had follow-ups to do. We shared a brief kiss and I started for the elevators. I had a nice day so far: pretty low key. And I got to attend my first ER party, which was actually more fun than I thought it would be. I was mad that Carter wasn't there, because I wanted to make fun of him for being alone on Valentine's day. I was talking to a appendectomy patient when I got a page and excused myself. It was the ER. I wondered what kind of trauma came in so soon, and took my time getting to the phone. Connie answered, her voice kind of squeaky.

"ER"

"It's Benton. Whatcha got?"

"Weaver just found Carter and Lucy in curtain 3. They were stabbed."

"Nice one, Connie." Never in my wildest nightmares did I think she was serious.

"This in no joke. Get down here now." I hung up the phone, and the words she said set into my brain. Carter. My former med student. My buddy. Stabbed. Bleeding. Dying. I snatched a pair of gloves and dashed down the stairs as quick as I could. People looked at me as if I was on fire. I kept going. It was when I smacked into the police officer I realized just how serious everything was.

I ran in, finding him unconscious and missing a lot of blood. The stab wounds were bad. I went through everything, trying in vain to forget that it was my colleague and friend laying before me. I was angry when they pulled me away to help Lucy, but thankful when I heard Carter scream. He had woken up. That is probably the scariest thing that could ever happen. A doctor, waking up in the middle of a trauma, all of his co-workers giving him nervous glances because they know he is dying. Chen came and told me his BP had dropped and he had a bad renal lac. I prayed it was just a renal lac and not the abdominal aorta, a fact which I knew he was aware of. I told him to stay awake, and found it hard to look in his eyes. It was scary, seeing how vulnerable he was. We got him in there, and I told him straight forward what was going on. They had to put him under after that.

In the surgery, I was frantic. I couldn't believe what had happened and wanted to get everything done asap. I just wanted to stop all the bleeding, stop all the pain, make him whole and perfect, just like he had been hours ago. Anspaugh brought me back to reality and made me see things realistically. I'm glad he did. Things went smooth until he made me go to a lap. I wasn't in the right state of mind, since my mind was on Carter. And Cleo did some really stupid stuff that made me want to flip. I reminded myself to stay restrained and save the patient before me.

As soon as he was done, I ran out and asked about Carter. He was fine. He was OK. But Lucy wasn't. I had almost forgotten about her, I was so focused. Now I had the job of telling him. Luckily, he was perceptive. He always was a great student. But I wish I didn't have to see that look on his face. I know he blamed himself, but it isn't his fault. I wish I knew how to tell him that so he would believe me. I wish I could make it OK.