Spacemergency
Part Two
By Jade14
mara_ditullio@hotmail.com

Summary: Just another anecdote from my perverse mind. Enjoy. Feedback to mara_ditullio@hotmail.com

Visit my website: www.geocities.com/brenda_d165082000/index.html

(Dave looks into camera)

[Dave] Were back, filming part 2.

(Camera veers off and we see John Carter, skipping around the bathroom with sand on the floor, wearing a white dress with a belt around the waist over baggy grey sweat pants tucked into a pair of Luka's heavy winter boots. His hair has been dyed with Dave's left over bleach)

[Doug] John Skycarter!

[Carter] Comming Uncle Doug!

[Luka] What's he doing here?

[Dave] Malik wanted the stormnurses to kill him off.

[Luka] Good Idea! Can I be a storm nurse? PLEASE??!!!

[Dave] No. Stick to the script. Your R2-D2, I mean, L-U-K-A.

[Doug] I thought I had to pick up one last paycheak?

[Dave] Yeah...

[Carol] I don't know where you get these ideas Malucci, but I DON"T look ANYTHING like Aunt Beru.

[Luka] PLEASE can I kill off Uncle Doug? Please?

[Dave] OK, lets just skip this part. Thr Rosses can go back to Seattle now.

[Malik] But the storm nurses were supposed to kill off Uncle Doug! I want to kill Doug!

[Luka] Me to!!

[Doug] Where's my paycheak?

( Camera goes fuzzy and comes back to the sandy bathroom John is walking/skipping with Gabe Lawrence looking very confused in a brown labcoat with a hood, Luka with the bowl on his head wheeling behind them on his skateboard, and Chen picking the wedgie the gold catsuit is giving her.)

[John] So I'm a jedi, Old-Gabe Kenobi?

[Gabe] You tell me.

[Dave] That's not your line Dr. Lawrence.

[Gabe] I forgot my line.

[Dave] Oh.

[Jing-Mei] I am fluent in over six million forms of communication...

[Luka] We know Chen-3PO. I mean....beep.

[Jing-Mei] Why does my charachter say that so much?

[Luka] Didn't you see Star Wars? I mean...beep beep?

[Jing-Mei] No...

[Gabe] (looking at a script) Let's go in that cantina and get some!

[Dave] (laughing) Uh..Dr. Lawrence..

[Gabe] I mean...get some transportation to Mercy...where we will give this floppy disk to the doctors there!

[John] Okay, let's go!!

( They skip across the street to Doc Magoos)

[Gabe] John Skycarter, this is Greenebacca, and he will show us to a captain of a bycicle we might get transportation on!

( we see Dr. Greene, wearing a homeless mans fuzzy brown coat that Dave pulled out of the lost and found)

[Mark] This is unsanitary.

[John] Lead the way, Greenebacca! The droids will have to stay outside.

[Jing-Mei] Damn...

[Luka] Bring me back a burger?

[John] Droids don't eat Luka.

[Luka] (pissed) Oh, just because Im sitting on this stupid skatebored and I'm wearing this damn bowl on my head makes me a droid?

[Romano] Yeah dumbass.

[Dave] Dr. Romano, you are not in this scene.

[Luka] I'm hungry!

[Mark] Why do I have to be Greenebacca?

[Jing-Mei] Because your last name is Greene.

[John] Duh.

[Gabe] Double duh. ( lookes around) Where am I?

[Dave] You guys are so not reading the script.

[Gabe] Kerry?

[Dave] I really need a good grade on this you guys.

[Mark] Why does this coat smell like burnt pigions?

[Dave] CUT!

( Camera goes fuzzy)

( Gabe, John, and Mark are now in Doc Magoos)

[John] Where is this bycicle captain, Greenebacca?

[Mark] Behind the Camera.

( Everyone looks at Dave)

[Dave] What?

[John] Your in this scene, Dave Solucci.

[Dave] Oh, yeah.

( Dave puts down the camera, we see linolium flooring.)

[Dave] Oh, yeah, someone has to hold the camera.

(The camera is picked up by Romano)

[Romano] I'll hold the camera!

[Dave] OK. Just don't break it.

[Romano] Why do you think I would break it?

[Dave] My granfather is your age and he's afraid of his answering machine.

[Gabe] I'm afraid of my microwave.

[John] That's nice.

[Gabe] I hear voices.

( John rubbes his back and moves away from Gabe)

[Romano] ( looking through the camera) The power...THE POWER!!!!!

[Dave] Uhh...Dr. Romano?

[Romano] Sorry. Go on with the scene.

[Dave] So you need transportation on my bycicle?

[Gabe] Only if its a fast bycicle.

[Dave] Its only as fast as you push the pedals.

[Gabe] I'll use the TPTB to push the bike!

[John] TPTB controls your destiny.

[Dave] Whatever.

( Camera goes fuzzy, and we see our heroes in the trash compactor. Princess Lizzia is making out with Greenebacca, and everyone else is trying to find a way out.)

[Dave] Hey Chen-3PO.

[Jing-Mei] Hey.

[Dave] Later, do you want to.. (Dave whisperes something in her ear)

[Jing-Mei] I'm sorry Captain Solucci. That's not in my programing.

[Dave] Damn.

[Romano] Hey Malatucchi?

[Dave] Yeah?

[Romano] What does this flashing battary mean?

[Dave] That just means that the battary's running low, you have to-

(camera goes fuzzy)

TO BE CONTINUED... When the cast members recharge the battery.