A Very Odd Couple
Part Eight
By Céindreadh
ceindreadh@eircom.net

Once again many thanks to the ERFFCC for all their help

Rating: PG-13
Keywords: Hurt/comfort
Timeline: a few months after 'Mayday'

Disclaimer: "ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No infringement of their copyright is intended. This story was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and may be downloaded for your own pleasure.

Summary: Dave needed a place to stay and moved in with Luka One evening he got mugged at an ATM and was brought to the ER seriously injured. His injuries are healing, but he's having nightmares



John Carter stood looking at the doors to the ER for several minutes. On his earlier visits to County, he had avoided the ER completely, but today he was going to face his colleagues. He finally summoned up the nerve to go in.

Kerry was reviewing charts in the lounge when John walked in. It had taken him half an hour to travel the short distance, because everyone he met wanted to ask how he was, and when he was coming back to work.

Kerry looked up when she heard the door. A smile lit up her face and she said, "John! What are you doing here? I thought you weren't starting for another few days?"

"I decided to come in early, so that I could get all the hello's out of the way before I started work."

"I'm glad you did. I wanted to have a talk to you in private."

"So what's the story around here? I mean how many people know about my 'problem'?" John spoke lightly, but he was concerned about what people were thinking. So far no one had mentioned anything to him, but he was worried about what was being said behind his back. He wasn't going to lie anymore, but the less people that knew about his struggle with addiction, the better.

"Only a few people know that you've been in Rehab. Everyone who was at your 'intervention' was told, as well as the ER attendings. And Romano of course."

"Yeah, I've already spoken to him," said John unenthusiastically.

"How are you planning to handle it, if or should I say when word gets out?"

"Well I'm not going to lie about it. I've done enough of that already. I'm only surprised that the nurses don't know already."

"The nurses may suspect, but as far as I know, nobody has the real story. There have been rumors of course."

"Of course. I bet Malucci alone has started a dozen of them." John noticed Kerry's frown at the mention of Dave. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Dave was attacked and beaten up last week. He's only just out of intensive care."

"Oh my god, that's terrible. How is he?"

At this point Luka walked in. "Here's the person to answer that," said Kerry.

Luka was surprised to see Carter in the lounge. "Dr Carter," he said. "Welcome back."

"Thanks," replied John. "Dr Weaver was just telling me about Dave. How is he?"

"He is doing very well. Dr Corday has moved him out of the ICU, and she says I will be able to bring him home soon."

John raised his eyebrows at this comment. "Dave moved in with Luka a few months ago," explained Kerry.

"I must go and visit him, see how's he doing," said John.

"I think he would appreciate that. He was just complaining, that since he was moved out of the ICU, he doesn't have as many nurses around to pay attention to him."

"Sounds like our Malucci," said Kerry with a smile.



John had gone upstairs to see Dave leaving Kerry and Luka alone in the lounge. Luka limped wearily over to the couch. Sitting down he leaned back and closed his eyes.

"Do you think Carter will be able to help Dave?" asked Kerry.

"He has to," said Luka grimly. "I do not think I can stand to see Dave in pain for much longer. Oh I know his physical pain is easing. His cuts and bruises are healing. But to see him lying there, pretending that everything is fine." He sighed heavily. "I do not want him to become another John Carter."

Kerry left her charts and moved over to the couch. Sitting down beside Luka she put her hand on his shoulder. "Hey," she said. "Dave has both of us looking out for him, and now Carter. We'll get him the help he needs, even if we have to lock him in a room with half the psych department."

Luka had to smile at the image that presented. The smile faded as he remembered how Dave had looked when he had left him.



Dave stood in the bathroom attached to his room and let his gown slip off his shoulders. He winced at the sight of the bruises that were only now starting to fade. He didn't need to turn around to know that the pattern was repeated on his back. The bruising seemed to be more concentrated in and around his ribs, broken only by the white patch of the bandage on his side, which covered the incision made for the chest-tube. Dave could see clearly in his minds eye exactly how the wound had looked the last time the dressings had been changed. A wave of nausea swept over him as he visualized the neat row of stitches that were holding his insides together. Bending over, he clutched at the basin for support. In, out, in out, he told himself, willing himself not to throw up.

Finally the nausea subsided. The sound of someone calling his name startled Dave. He quickly pulled his gown around him. Holding onto the I.V. stand for support, he painfully limped back to his room. His face lit up when he saw Carter standing there.

"Carter, my man. Long time no see," he said as he limped over to the bed.

"It's been a while all right," replied John, trying to hide his shock at Dave's appearance. He had expected the cast and the bandages. What he hadn't expected was the look in Dave's eyes. It was a look that was all too familiar to John for he had seen it reflected in his mirrors many times since Valentines Day.

Dave carefully climbed back into the bed. "So how the hell are you?"

"Better than you by the looks of things," replied John as he sat down beside Dave's bed. It wasn't an exaggeration. John was shocked at how thin and pale Dave was looking.

Dave touched the stitches on his forehead self-consciously. "Yeah well, at least I'll have some cool scars when these come out."

"Hah, call those scars. You want to see the ones in my back."

"Oh yeah, well feast your eyes on these." Dave pulled open his gown to reveal the bandages on his side. "I had a chest tube in there for a week."

"That's nothing. I had a colostomy for a month."

"I have to wear this cast on my arm for six weeks." Dave waved his arm in John's direction.

John burst out laughing. "Dave, you do know that you've got red polish on your nails."

"That was my sister's doing. I was asleep one day when she turned up to visit. She said she had to do something to keep herself entertained. I'm just lucky that polish was all she was carrying."

"So how are you doing? Seriously, I mean."

"I'm fine," replied Dave quickly. A little too quickly for John's liking. He took a long hard look at Dave. Dave had dark shadows under his eyes, and his smile wasn't as full as it had been a few months ago. But it was the haunted look in his eyes that worried John the most. He chose his next words carefully. He was well aware that if he asked Dave straight out, what was bothering him, that Dave would deny that there was any problem. Just like John himself had pretended that everything was fine until the day of the intervention. In the last few months in Rehab, John had learned more about the Psychological side effects of a serious injury that he had in his entire Psych rotation. He hoped that he could put it to some use in helping Dave. Maybe, just maybe he could steer Dave off the path of self-destruction that he himself had narrowly escaped from.

"You don't look as if you've been getting much rest," commented John. "Have the nurses been making too many demands on your body at night?"

Dave smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. "I wish," he said. "No, I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately. I mean it's not easy to get comfortable when you're wired up to a whole bunch of machines. Still at least I've only got this I.V. left now. Man, when I was in ICU their beeping was driving me crazy."

"The time to worry is when they stop beeping. Some nights I used to lie awake hoping that their rhythm wouldn't change." John paused before continuing. "Of course other nights I'd lie awake because I was afraid to close my eyes."

Dave looked at John curiously. "How come?" he asked finally.

"Because every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was Sobriki's face as he stabbed me over and over again."

"You had nightmares too? Why didn't you say anything?" Dave was surprised that Carter had never mentioned it on any of the occasions Dave had visited him. But then Dave had usually been more interested in trying to score with the nurses than getting into deep meaningful conversations.

John noticed Dave's use of the word 'too'. He wasn't really surprised. "I suppose I felt that it would be wrong of me to complain, when I should have been grateful just to be alive. I thought they'd probably just fade away in time. I didn't want people thinking that I couldn't handle something as simple as a few nightmares."

Dave was silent while he contemplated what Carter had said. John watched his reaction. "So what do you see in your nightmares?" he asked softly.

"I see two men, the guys who attacked me. I see the baseball bat crashing down again and again...." Dave's voice trailed off and he looked away.

"And?" prompted John.

"I can hear myself screaming at them, begging them to stop." Dave looked back at John, who was shocked to see his eyes fill with tears. "I.... I tried to fight back...to grab the bat...but they.... they broke my arm.... I tried to fight.... I did try to fight.... but they were too strong.... I did try..." Dave's voice cracked as he tried to continue. "All I could do was beg them to stop, but they wouldn't. They wouldn't stop. They just wouldn't stop." The tears were rolling freely down Dave's face now.

"It's okay Dave," said John helplessly. He had wanted Dave to open up a little, enough that he could persuade him to seek help. He hadn't expected this.

"I was so scared. I thought they were going to kill me. And every time I close my eyes I see them."

John was at a loss for words. Instinctively he sat on the bed beside Dave and put his arms around him. Wordlessly he held him close until Dave's sobs died away.

"It's all right," he said reassuringly. "It's all right."

"It's not all right. It'll never be all right again."

"Yes it will Dave," said John firmly. "You're tough, you're strong. You can get through this."

Dave sighed. "I don't know am I strong enough to do this," he said in a small voice.

"You don't have to do it alone" replied John. "I'll help you and so will Kerry and Luka. You're not alone."

Dave shook his head. "I can't tell them about this. I can't tell anyone. Carter, you won't tell anyone about this. I can't let them know."

"It's okay Dave, I won't tell anyone what's happened here."

Dave relaxed a bit at John's words. The thought of Luka or the chief knowing what a pathetic wreck of a man he had become, was more than he could bear.

John continued, "But I think you should. Not Kerry or Luka if you don't want to. But you should definitely talk to someone in psych about it." Letting go of Dave, John returned to his chair.

Dave sighed. "I dunno. I mean the chief suggested it, but it's hard trying to explain to other people how I'm feeling when half the time I don't know myself. I don't think I could do it."

John shook his head. "Dave, you have to talk to someone about this. If you don't tell someone, if you bottle it all up inside you, it'll start eating away at you inside. The nightmares and the pain will get worse and worse until it all erupts and then it'll be too late. I've been there. I know what it's like. If I'd spoken to someone sooner, then maybe things would have turned out differently."

"You mean you might not have taken the fentanyl?"

The words hung in the air.



To be continued...

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céindreadh
"i have never understood why it is necessary to become irrational in order to prove that you care, or why it should be necessary to prove it at all"
Kerr Avon

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