Chapter Thirteen - Trapped Inside My Mind
By Ayoe
ayoe.lang@get2net.dk
"ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No infringement of their copyright is intended. This story was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and may be downloaded for your own pleasure. However this story may not be used, distributed or archived without the permission of the author.
Rated: NC17 - harsh language and sexual contents.
A HUGE thanks to my excellent editor Cathy Roberts...don't know what I should do without you!!!
There was a flash of light. John heard voices, but couldn't make any words out. He felt a sharp pain in his chest, then everything went black once more.
Flash! "It will kick in soon. Get him up there now!"
Flash! "No, he will be okay."
Flash! "Hi John," Gamma smiled.
Flash! "He's constantly drifting in and out, but...."
Flash! " We've been giving him something for the pain, but besides that....."
Flash! "He can hear me, right?"
Flash! "John?"
"Gamma?" he whispered. His throat was sore.
"It's okay. Don't speak too much. I'll just go get a nurse."
John blinked. His eyes hurt. The light was so bright. He tried to raise his hand to rub them, but a sharp pain, just below his rips, stopped him. He set his teeth, looking around, while his eyes got used to the light, which was actually very subdued. John didn't recognize the place at first, but by looking out toward the hallway, he could see he was in the ICU. He cleared
his throat. How did he get there? He searched his mind. He remembered Kerry's smile. It made him smile too, but something about it also made him shiver. What happened to Kerry?
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, thinking. Then he saw Kerry's eyes filled with fear. He quickly opened his eyes with a gasp.
"Jesus! What happened?!"
He repeated the question, when Gamma came back with Benton.
"You don't remember?" Benton's brown eyes were worried. John shook his head. His stomach was turning. Something was very wrong.
"Okay." Benton took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the bed, beside John. "You've been shot, Carter...you don't remember anything?"
"No, but......where's Kerry?"
"Benton's eyes became big. "Why?"
"I ... just....have this bad feeling."
Benton's beeper went off. "I gotta go. Get some rest, okay. You'll remember soon enough." He gave him a quick pat on the leg, then he left the room.
"Gamma?"
"I don't really know what happened, John."
"Oh..." Why couldn't he remember?!
"Well, I'd better be on my way. You want me to bring you something?"
"Yeah, sure. You know....just some clothes, my shaving kit...maybe some books."
"Okay. I'll be back tomorrow." She gave him a quick kiss in the cheek and left him alone. Alone, with a head filled with
questions that he couldn't seem to find any answers to.
He didn't seem able to sleep without the nightmare constantly waking him up - afraid and soaked from sweat. The dream was filled with an ice-cold laughter that made him shiver. Every time he awoke, the laughter would follow him out of the dream and
echo in his head, and the image of Kerry's frightened eyes would make his stomach turn.
John woke up with a startle. This time Kerry's words followed him too.
"Daughter of a devil and a witch." John wasn't sure what it meant, if it even meant anything. Maybe is was the man with the laughter. Maybe it was something his mind just made up.
The nurse gently removed the bandage from the gunshot wound to replace it with a clean one. John winced when she cleaned the wound with the disinfectant napkin. She was a tiny Japanese with a cute smile and long, soft hair.
"So you don't remember anything?" She looked at him shortly with kind, hazel eyes.
"Not really...." John set his teeth when she dressed the wound.
"You were lucky," she smiled. He noticed a tiny accent.
"Hey there." A familiar voice made John look towards the door.
"Lucy?" John was somewhat surprised to see his med student standing in his room.
"Oh. I'm sorry, but you have to wait outside until...."
"It's okay, Yuko. She can come in," John smiled to the nurse.
Lucy slowly entered the room. Yuko finished the bandage, gave John a smile and left the room with a quick nod towards Lucy.
John slowly got his T-shirt, then pulled up the covers.
Lucy pulled a chair beside the bed and sat down.
"How's rotations?"
"Fine...." she answered. She had a puzzled expression on her face.
"What?"
"John..." she started.
John was puzzled himself. She never called him John.
"John....how much do you remember?"