Walking After You
Part Four - Do They Have Cable TV in Hell
By Kitty
angelpixiedust@bolt.com

Well it's almost over now, so once again thanks for reading as much as you have. You guys rule. Nope, not the finale to my oh so fabulous story, ahem, well my story. But it soon will be. As with before if I screw up with any of the terms or character history, please feel free to send me a note telling me as such. Or you could just hurl abuse at my story writing skills. As always, it's your call.

And, Mr. hot TV Executive I'm not making any money, and not causing any harm to your characters, so please don't sue me. I think I've done enough babbling, so read on...

* A little song I couldn’t get out of my head, whilst writing this *

Long Day

it's sitting by the overcoat,
the second shelf, the note she wrote
that I can't bring myself to throw away
and also
reach she said for no one else but you,
cuz you won't turn away
when someone else is gone

Matchbox Twenty

Amy studied the ladies chart for a few seconds, before shifting her gaze to the patient and her two kids. The girl was around thirteen, the boy eight, both were sitting to one side of their mother, and both looked on silently.

The mother lay against the pillow, her arm in a sling, and her face drawn out and tired. "You wanna get me a coke sweetie?" She asked the eldest daughter. The daughter nodded, and left.

The patients chart was covered with comments on abrasions, cuts and fractures, occurring within the space of a few months. "So Mrs. Mendez, you seem to have been doing a lot of falling recently."

The mother looked away, and the younger son looked on with wide eyes, "I took up horse riding with my son-you know how it is. Fall off the first few times."

She looked down at the chart, two broken ribs, fractured elbow, cut above the right eye, and the list of contusions was endless. She smiled perplexed. "So you're still trying to get back on after the tenth time?" The lady avoided eye contact. "Mrs. Mendez it says here that you've been admitted into hospital on nine separate occasions."

Mrs. Mendez was silent, "My son loves horses."

Amy smiled and pretended to analyze the ladies chart, fully aware that Mrs. Mendez was holding back on her. "Horses? Yeah, I love riding too, in the summer I always make sure I go riding in Dulwich Park. Is that were you go?"

Mrs. Mendez smiled. "Tommy," She looked over at her son, who was busy studying his shoes, "Tommy-that's where we go isn't it? Dulwich Park?" Tommy gave a vague shake of the head, and her mother was satisfied.

Amy bit her lip. "Hey Tommy you mind if me and your mom have a little chat?" The boy gave no resistance and trotted off into the waiting room. Amy turned to face the woman. "Mrs. Mendez is there something that you aren't telling me?"

Mrs. Mendez smiled, her taught, dry skin cracking, "What do you mean?"

"There is no Dulwich Park in Chicago." Mrs. Mendez began wringing her hands. Amy looked away, OK wrong question. Try, again. "How long have you been married?"

"Four years. He's their step father."

Amy hesitated-now don't mess it up, "You two ever have arguments?"

The lady looked directly into Amy's eyes, knowing that Amy now knew, and looked away. "Everybody fights."

"Not physically."

She paused, tears in her eyes. "The kids need a father...they have no idea."

"Kids understand a lot more than they're given credit for." Amy checked the chart again. "Your children also need a healthy mom, your being abused like this is not going to give you the perfect family."

Amy watched the lady dissolve into tears. "He says he'll stop. He never meant to...I still love him Dr. Whitter."

Amy put her hand to her head. She smiled at the patient, and then left the exam room. Leaning against the door she sighed and closed her eyes. 'Amy you're the best,' Jamie told her. 'I didn't know what I was doing,' she felt her stomach turn... 'It was YOUR fucking fault- if you hadn't fucked everything up.' I begged him; Amy thought, I told him to stop, to just let me go. I asked him to tell me he loved me. I pleaded with him to tell me he loved me. Why didn't he tell me?

"Dr. Whitter?" A voice asked her, breaking into her fragmented thoughts. She dropped her hand, and smiled up at Abby.

"Um, yeah, did you say something?"

Abby frowned at her. "You feeling OK? You're looking a little whitish." Amy nodded. "Cool, anyway, I was just wondering if you had gotten the labs back on Mr. McConnell yet?" Another shake of the head. "Not yet huh? Looks like you could do with a break, I can cover for you for like five minutes. A glass of water perhaps?"

Amy smiled. "No I have to help a patient first. Thanks anyway."

"Um, OK. Anytime Amy."

I'm sorry 'bout the attitude
I need to give when I'm with you
but no one else would take this shit from me
and I'm so
terrified of no one else but me
I'm here all the time
I won't go away
it's me, yeah I can't get myself to go away
it's me, and I can't get myself to go away
oh God I shouldn't feel this way

reach down your hand in your pocket
pull out some hope for me
it's been a long day, always ain't that right
and no Lord your hand won't stop it
just keep you trembling
it's been a long day, always ain't that right

Amy took another drag on her cigarette, looking back down at her watch. Nope, nobody was missing her yet. She smiled. OK, so maybe she was playing the 'run whenever you can smell Carter game,' and maybe it was a little, teensy bit five years old, but at that particular moment, on that particular day, exposing her heart to some dopey guy, who happened to see a lot of real hearts did not seem the most appealing of prospects.

She wanted to laugh. Since when did her life become such a big game of 'hide and go seek,' she ran away from family, friends, lovers, and now that list had gone to include patients. Every time anything happened that involved her having to make some kind of decision, she pushed it as far away from herself as was humanly possible. She guessed she was still that scared five-year-old kid.

Ok, maybe if she went down stairs, and worked her ass off, Carter wouldn't want to interrupt her work ethics. Nope, not going to work. He'd want her to brief him on all her patients, something that she had avoided thus far by briefing Kerry, or Mark, claiming that Carter was busy, or no-where to be seen. Pretty lame she knew, but she'd had to think on her feet. Or, she could just run downstairs and lock herself into a cubicle and cry. She took another deep drag on her cigarette, or she could just stay up there until someone missed her. She looked back down at her watch. Or didn't miss her.

"Hey. I didn't think anyone else was up here," his voice said, startling her.

She took another very cleansing drag of the cigarette, and smiled back at him. "I needed some fresh air."

Carter was wearing a big woolen coat, and it dawned on her that a big woolen coat was the one thing in the world, that would complete her at that moment. He sat down next to her, pointing at her cigarette, "About as fresh as it gets."

She shrugged, "My nerves needed a little calming down. I guess I've been feeling a little, um, scared," Christ, why was she being so honest to this tall guy in a woolen coat, whom she had been avoiding all evening.

He looked at her, "Scared of what?"

She laughed, ashamed of her own childish fear. She looked away, and licked her dry lips. Still tasted of him. "That he'll find me here. Tonight. He'll come here and find me..." She watched his reaction, his eyes watch her intently, "And I guess I'm scared that I'm going to spend the rest of my life running away from something."

He was still watching her every move,* he's probably worried that I'm going to burst into another fit of tears, and he'll have to comfort me again. But I guess he is in luck because I'm all cried out* He asked her whether or not she had been running away from him all evening, and she nodded. "I figured you'd mention something." She smiled. "That's what, two times already when I've relied on you to be my shoulder to cry on. Thought I'd maybe give you a break."

He smiled, studying her face, her expression. She giggled embarrassed, "What?"

He looked away instantly, "Oh it's nothing. It's just not everyday I get beautiful women falling into my arms."

She laughed, "Yeah?" He laughed nodding.

Their eyes met, and his face took on a serious tone, "Amy, you saw him again today didn't you?"

She looked away, her eyes obviously not as dry as she'd thought. "I had to pick up some things, at his place. He was there, still as drunk as last night." She paused to finish off her cigarette, a few tears falling. "Um, he hit me, and we shouted, and if the phone hadn't gone off when it did, I, I really don't know what else might have happened. And the worst part Carter, the worst part is is that I'm still in love with the guy. And he hates me so much. He hates me."

He put his big woolen arms around her, and murmured gently, soothingly into her ears. Carter's soft woolen arms being the safest place that she had experienced in a long, long, time, and she was complete.

Well I'm surprised that you'd believe
in any thing that comes from me
I didn't hear from you or from someone else
and you're so
set in life man, a pisser they're waiting
too damn bad you get so far so fast
so what, so long

it's me, yeah and I can't get myself to go away
it's me, yeah and I can't get myself to go away
oh God I shouldn't feel this way

"You sorted through all those charts yet?" Dave asked Amy as she fumbled through a large, disorganized pile of papers and folders.

She lifted one up triumphantly, "I managed one," she replied grinning.

"One?"

"Uh-huh. Just the one. Carter's promised to give me a hand with the rest so don't sweat it." Amy replied, attempting to carry the two piles of folders.

Dave frowned, "When?" Kerry began calling out his name, and he took a few steps in her direction.

Amy looked up at him from her dazed mess, "Um, after my shift."

He shook his head, "Check again, Amy. Haven't you heard about his hot date with that blonde Pedes nurse."

Amy paused, looking at him dryly "Blonde Pedes Nurse?"

"Yeah, Courtney, something or other. He probably just forgot to tell you," he started to turn away, Kerry's voice becoming more shrill. "Catch ya later, OK?"

Amy nodded, more dumbfounded than before. He brushed me off for a date with a blonde Pediatric Nurse. Charming.

"Ok, I need a scan on Mr. Higgins, I want a CAT scan and a suture job out for Ms. Elliot, and tell Amy to speak to the pysch consult she called down. Apparently she forgot that they were paying her patient a visit." Kerry paused as she spoke to Abby.

Abby shrugged. "Ask Carter, he is her supervisor."

Kerry shook her head, "No. Carter is currently stabilizing a road victim."

Abby stopped, and lowered her voice. "To be honest Kerry, I'm a little worried about that girl. Her head seems to be all over the place at the moment." She paused, checking to see if anybody could hear. "I, um, I also noticed a bruise on her left shoulder...and there was also that right eye of hers..."

Kerry stopped her. "Look Abby, I know you probably feel that it is in her best interests that you follow these kind of things up. But she is not a patient. If whatever it is interferes with her work, then we have an obligation to follow it through. Otherwise I don't want to hear about it. Understand?"

Abby nodded obediently. "Ok, No problem Dr. Weaver, you call the shots."

Kerry nodded. "You make sure you keep that in mind, Abby."

"Wow, what I would do for an hours sleep," Amy muttered to Dave whilst signing some patients out.

"Looks like you could do for more than an hours worth," he told her honestly.

She smiled to hide the fact that he was right, "Thanks. But that's not exactly an option I can look into right now."

He grinned, and she could tell that he was going to come on to her. Like he came onto anything that happened to breathe in his direction whilst wearing panties. Nice one Amy, talk about sleep in front of someone who uses beds for only one thing. Or he wishes he did, she thought. "I'm sure that I could help with your sleeping problem. Some jazz music, champagne, and me-all a girl needs for some tiring after hour activities."

She gave him a dirty look, and then smiled at him sarcastically. "That sounds great."

He smiled, looking up at her sharply, obviously a little surprised. "Yeah? What time do you want me to pick you up?"

She giggled, very, very dryly. "Next time hell freezes over, sound good to you?" She scrubbed her name off the board and headed to the lounge.

She thought about her life, and every confusion in it. Well aren't you lucky, Dave, sounds like hell might just be freezing over for me

"Whoa, Carter, slow down," Carter heard Dave calling; he turned around to meet him, as he caught him up.

"Didn't you hear me calling your name back there?" He asked puzzled.

Carter shook his head; "I had some stuff on my mind." Well, I had girl on the brain, he thought silently.

"I just wanted to know if you had those labs on Robert Smith back yet, because his mom is really not too hot at being a patient, patient," He said grinning at him.

He smiled, "Yeah, just about to go give them to him."

He smiled thankfully, and as Carter began walking off, he felt his hand on his shoulder. He looked at him, his playful expression gone. "Carter," He said, and he couldn't help but feel concerned. He was being deadly serious, so Carter stopped smiling and listened intently. Dave taking something seriously was one of those things your friend's friend has experienced. Never you.

"Yeah?"

He glanced around them, "Is Amy doing OK?"

Amy? Hell no. "Amy...Amy's getting her grip on things... Why'd you ask? She screw up on you?"

He shook his, head, lowering his voice, "It's not her work that I'm worried about."

Then carter smiled, realizing what this was all about, "You're still pissed that she brushed you off like that in front of everyone, huh? Well she's..."

He stopped him with a shake of his head, although Carter could also tell that he was still a little disgruntled about that. "She just seems a little tense recently, like she hasn't had a good nights sleep in over a month. And," he became almost inaudible as a bunch of nurses passed them. "I noticed a bruise on her back-left shoulder. And after her eye, I feel we have every right to be worried."

I've got it, Dave, he thought to himself. Still, it was nice to know that he cared. About anything. He was about to tell him that he had no reason to be worried, and that it was nice that he did care when he realized something. "Hey, Dave, you mind if we go somewhere a little more private?"

He seemed to be happy to do this, and followed him into an empty exam room. Carter paused, still unsure as to whether this was the best thing in the world to do. "So...?" He said expectantly, already finding a comfortable spot on an empty shelf to prop himself up on.

"So, you're right. Amy is having a few problems."

Dave wasn't surprised, and didn't take two seconds to say, "It's a guy isn't it? Some guys fucking with her, aren't they?"

Carter nodded gravely. "She still loves him."

This seemed to aggravate him, and he began to start pacing across the room. "Asshole. What a lame asshole." He mutters. He looked up at Carter inspired. "You want to help me kill the dude?"

Carter smiled, "I doubt Amy would appreciate that."

"I doubt Amy appreciates being treated like a pile of shit..." He paused realizing his actions had been a little out of order, and seemed to want to explain himself. "My father beat on my mom a few times. I never forgave him for that. Guys who hit girls are the lowest, lowest-," he repeated passionately, "-form of scum alive."

Carter nodded sharing the guy's passion in this field. He was almost surprised that he felt that way about women. "She needs to get out of there," He muttered, still uncertain about whether or not he was handling it right. Or more to the point, whether telling Dave was handling it at all. They were friends, and work mates, and there was no turning back now, anyway.

"What do you want do then? Give him a little friendly advice?"

He shook his head, rather enjoying Dave's angry plea, as it helped him to think more rationally. "I was thinking more along the lines of, helping, Dave."

Dave looked up at him expectantly, "So what were you planning on doing?"

"Jesus Christ, does everything I touch have to turn to shit?" Amy muttered, aiming another empty biro at the trashcan. It hit against the side with a clang just as Carter walked in.

Amy was too consumed with charts and psychology papers to even notice the door slam shut behind him. She dropped her head into her hands groaning; as yet another chart seemed to materialize from nowhere. "Why don't I just scratch my eyeballs out with my nails. It'd be a lot less painful."

Carter laughed, "Bad day?"

Amy looked up, distracted from the tragic-comedy that was her attempting charts. "Remind me why it is I even bother?"

He opened his locker, dropping his coat inside. "Because someday people will call you Doctor Whitter, instead of 'excuse me.'"

Amy smiled despite feeling resentful. "So whose Courtney?" She managed to drop in casually.

Carter smiled playfully, "Ah yeah. About helping you with those charts-"

"You have a really hot date, and want to know if I can take a rain check, right?"

He nodded, "You don't mind? I hate leaving you in the lurch like this-"

"-But you really like her, and she only asked this morning." He looked at her questioningly, "Good news travels fast."

"So you don't mind?"

"Mind? Why should I mind?" Amy grinned through gritted teeth. Mind? Hell no; being dropped at the last minute for some blonde chick who is probably very busy at this moment making popping noises with her gum, no way. That's what friends are for right? <pop> blonde chick taking priority <pop> over my studies <pop>, doesn't phase me in the slightest.

She aimed another empty biro at the bin, this time it ricocheted off the edge and onto the floor.

"Carter," a female voice whined, Amy turned to face the petite blonde lady who was at the door, smiling through big painted lips. See, now if you had time to apply that much lipstick maybe you'd be smiling too, Amy thought sarcastically. The girl peered over at where Carter was flicking through some of Amy's work. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Hey Courtney," He said approaching her, jacket rapidly being put on. "No, just giving my med student-"

"-Amy."

"-My med student Amy some help with her charts." His eyes trailed across her body, "You look great."

She giggled, and Amy rolled her eyes back. "Thanks. So do you."

Amy drummed at the desk with the edge of her fresh biro, watching as Courtney began describing the 'horrific' day she'd had, Carter listening intently. He turned to face Amy as he left, a stupid smile plastered across his face, "So I'll see you tomorrow, right, and maybe then I can-"

"Give me some help with my charts. Yeah, whatever, have fun," Amy muttered moodily at Carter closed the door behind him, "Wouldn't want for you to miss watching her gum pop now would I?"

it's me, yeah and I can't get myself to go away
it's me, yeah and I can't get myself to go away
oh God I shouldn't feel this way

To be concluded in "Being Carter." See ya there.