Let It Rain
Part Six
By Kitty
angelpixiedust@bolt.com

DISCLAMER: "ER," the characters and situations depicted within are the property of Warner Brothers Television, Amblin Entertainment, Constant c Productions, NBC, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. The story presented here is written solely for entertainment purposes, and the author is making no profit.

This takes place a few weeks after "May Day". John Carter is in Rehab in Atlanta, GA: Let it Rain

Rated R for consensual heterosexual situations.

John Carter is in bed in his Grandparent’s home trying to get to sleep. After being away in Atlanta for rehab for 12 weeks, he will return to work in the ER at 7:00am the next morning.

‘Almost midnight. Man, I’ve got to get to sleep! How am I ever going to fall asleep?’ John, unable to sleep, rolls over and turns on his radio. ‘Maybe a little music will help me drift off.’ <Click>

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
It's not warm when she's away.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
And she's always gone too long anytime she goes away.

John lay in the solitary dark listening to the music. He was not alone though. It was as if Ash were right there………



Rehab Center in Atlanta

Ash had been away in Paris for almost a week and a half. I continued therapy and was making great strides in my recovery. Although I missed her desperately and was concerned that she had to stay more than a week longer than she had anticipated, I needed the time to work on my own personal issues. She’ll be back Saturday morning. Saturday. Tommorow!

When Ash pulled into the drive in front of the rehab center, I thought I’d jump right through the window to get to her. The way she moved, slow and graceful. Many beautiful women had caught my eye and kept my attention in the past. But there was something different about Ash. Something more. Ash was an exquisite beauty physically and I felt a beauty from within her that was unmatched by any other person I had know my entire life.

Just as if we had never been apart, she stood in front of me with only an inch between us. The only thing separating us was the electricity I felt running from my body to hers and back again. The impulse to grab her and kiss her was unbearably strong. Resisting only for the sake of professional discretion, we only embraced in our minds - consumed each other with our eyes.

“Do you think you could get out of here for part of the day?” she asked in that sweet Southern voice I had dreamed about night after night.

“Yeah. Sure. Well, I think so?” I replied uncertainly while running my hand through my hair.

“Let’s go see.” She said as she let me over to the desk.

As we approached the desk to inquire about our request, I said, “By the way, these are for you.” With a sly grin on my face, I handed her a dozen white roses mixed with sprigs of lavender wrapped in a silver ribbon. This drew exactly the response I had hoped for. She said everything with those green eyes that I found myself lost in every time I looked at her.

After getting approval and signing out, we quickly made our way to her car. Ash drove off with such speed, the tires made a squealing noise as she hit the accelerator.

“Wow, it really helps to have a psychiatrist on staff for a girlfriend. You can get through the red tape a lot easier that way.” I said while letting out a little laugh. She turned briefly and smiled at me.

We were caught at the first traffic light we came to just outside the grounds of the center. I took this opportunity to do what I had longed to since she pulled up in front of the rehab center. Ash leaned her head against the headrest and gazed at me as I reached over to her, pulling her close. I could feel her breath on my face as I kissed her tenderly. As she responded, I responded to her as I began to demand more. Placing my hand behind her neck, I drew her closer and deepened and intensified the kiss. Her mouth was hot and I kissed her hungrily. My God, this woman could kiss! I found myself getting very aroused and she, moaning softly through our kisses, seemed to be having the same response. HONK! HONK! HONK!

Suddenly, we realized the light had turned green and the other Atlanta drivers had grown impatient with this delay. We laughed and continued the drive to her townhouse.

I told her about my therapy and she told me about Jean Paul and the children. It was a very sad story and I could tell how affected she was at the injustice of the whole situation. This made me think of the story she began to tell me the day she was called away. Could today be the day she divulges all her secrets to me? Now is not the time to dredge all those painful memories up to the surface. I was just so glad to be in her company again.

Ash and I walked into her vacant house. Everything was still and the air was uncomfortably stuffy and hot. She ran over to the controls and turned on the air conditioning. Then she looked at the mail that had been neatly stacked on the entrance hall table. She didn’t seem overly impress by anything there. Lovingly, she placed her flowers in a vase and said, “Thank you. White roses. How did you know? To my recollection I’ve never told you that they are my favorite.” she asked as she put water in the vase. “I don’t know. They just seemed so right for you.” I said stunned that I had ordered her favorite.

As she returned to me from the kitchen, she removed the clip from her hair letting it cascade around her shoulders. Slowly, she removed her jacket and draped it across a chair next to me. I felt as if she was shedding not only her clothes for me but letting down the last wall that divided us. I must stay in control. I will not let this get out of hand. We will not go any further until I have gotten some answers from her.

Just as she had the night she left for Paris, she reached up and placed her arms around my neck. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her close to my body. She gave me a kiss that absolutely rocked me to the core as she ran her delicate fingers through my hair. I was weakening. She was wearing down my resolve. Just as I had almost abandoned any hopes of keeping my promise, she moved her mouth from mine and made her way to my neck. Oh God! She began to tease the sensitive skin alternately with her lips and tongue making soft, sweet noises. That’s it! I’m a goner. Then she worked her way up to my earlobe and began to nibble. My will was broken. I stood there helpless and at her mercy. At that moment, I would have done anything for her.

I was seconds from sweeping her up in my arms as she whispered in my ear, “I’ve missed you so much. You feel so good. Hmmmmmm...You taste even better.” She leaned backwards, stared deeply into my eyes. “I have something I want to share with you. Why don’t you look at it while I have a shower?”

I sat down on her couch trying to get my body under control. She came back into the room and handed me what appeared to be some sort of scrapbook. She kissed me on the cheek and disappeared into the bathroom. I began looking at it as I listened to the water running in the shower.

The first thing I came to was a hand written note on a piece of paper that Ash had placed there for me. I began to read:

Dear John,
I don’t know if I’ll ever find the words to tell you about what
happened to my family, happened to me. So I thought I’d open the book
and let you inside. Maybe, you can help me get closure on this very
painful chapter in my life. Please forgive me for being a coward and
not being able to tell you myself.

Love,
~Ash~

I felt excited and apprehensive at the same time as I turned the page……………

The first few pages were pictures of two beautiful blonde children. A little girl, I assumed was Ash as she had the same green eyes and a little boy, a few years older that looked very much like Ash. That must be Bobby, her brother. These children looked so happy and fulfilled. Happy to be together. As I went further, I could see them growing up right before my eyes. Then there were pictures of who I guessed were her parents. What a beautiful family. Everyday life, vacations, holidays, special events. Bobby’s graduation. Ash’s graduation. Then a picture of the whole family next to Ash’s medical school graduation announcement. I smiled remembering the day I had missed my own graduation. It was worth it to stay with that little girl.

My heart fell into my stomach as I turned to the next page. Something hit me like a swift kick in the gut. I felt as if I was going to get sick. It was a newspaper article and one white rose:

Sole Survivor of Car Accident Clings to Life
Jeanne Ashley, 25 years old and recent medical school graduate, is in critical but stable condition at Mercy Hospital following an accident that took the lives both her parents and only brother. The Ashley family was on their way to a celebratory dinner after her graduation ceremony when hit head on by a drunk driver.

I couldn’t read anymore. Closing the book I laid it down and rest my head in my hands. How could this happen? It was so unfair. Life often is I reminded myself. Taking a deep breath, I stood up and walked over to the window and stared out into the city. No wonder she could not find the words to tell me. I’m having a difficult time thinking of what to say to her.

Just then she walked out of the bathroom and walked slowly but deliberately into her bedroom. I took it as my cue to follow her as she left the door to her bedroom open.

Ash lay on the bed with a blank stare on her sweet face. Not knowing what to say or do, I laid down on the bed facing her. There were no words but we were speaking just the same. I placed my hand on her cheek and began stroking it with my thumb. She replied by closing her eyes and moving closer to me. Neither of us dared to break the delicate silence for fear of shattering the control we felt we had to maintain. It was all too much and we knew it. We held each other tightly as we sought to process this new understanding between us.

Ash drifted off to sleep in my arms as I tried to fathom the grief she must feel and understand the guilt she harbored. Why should she feel any responsibility for the death of her family? Doesn’t she know that the drunk driver bares the responsibility for what happened to them? But grief does funny things to your mind. I certainly should understand that after what I’ve been through this year. I felt her stir and comforted her as she made her way back to the conscious world again.

“Hey, you should really get some more rest.” I said as I kissed her forehead and tried to get up to leave.

“No. Please don’t leave. I need you to stay. I want to talk about it. Them.” She pleaded with me with her tone of voice and her eyes.

“Why do you feel guilty? For living? I felt that way too when Lucy was killed. It’s not the same situation but I felt guilty just the same. It was hard for me to let go of the guilt but I had to do it. It was not my fault. I did not kill Lucy. You did not kill your family. That drunk driver did!”

“Yes. I know. I didn’t...............” her words drifted off as she changed directions.

“When I came to in the car, I knew that Mom and Daddy were dead. There was no doubt about it. Their br .......oh God....there was gray matter all over me. I looked over next to me to check on Bobby. I couldn’t reach him. There I was, my first day as a doctor and I could not help the person I loved most in the world. I couldn’t reach him. He was going into shock and I knew he was going to die very soon if he didn’t get some help. I begged him to stay awake. Then he said in a weak voice, ‘I love you Ash. I always have and always will. You’ll never be alone.’ Then he closed his eyes and was gone. The last thing I remember before losing consciousness was knowing that I was watching my brother’s soul depart from his body and I felt alone.”

“Ash, I know this is sudden, but I know how I feel. I don’t want you to be alone ever again. I want you come to Chicago with me. You can finish you residency at County and I want you to m...” she silenced me by putting her finger to my lips.

“You shouldn’t be saying these thing right now. You’ll only regret them later.” she said.

“Why, are you saying you don’t l....” she silenced me again.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’d like for you to do something for me, with me first. After I’ve made up the time I’ve missed from work, I’d like for you to come with me to my family’s home in about two weeks. I have not been back since the funerals. They are buried there and I need to go back and get some closure to this hurt I’ve carried so long. Maybe we can help each other. It’s time to say goodbye. Will you come with me?”

“Yes of course but what about...” once again she silenced me.

“We can talk about all of that then O.K.?” she asked me.

I nodded in agreement as I kissed her softly and reassuringly. We lay there in complete silence except the unspoken words of our newfound love.

You’re here
There’s nothing I fear
And I know that my heart will go on....................

To be continued.......