Another Year Has Gone By
Part 27
By Cari
cxcarleo@naz.edu

The story starts on November 4th. Susan did decide to stay in Doug and Carol's house although they spend considerably less time together to give each other their space. Why did I do this? Simply because I'm tired of Susan story lines. I was trying to write her off, but it didn't work. So don't look for her to have a main focus, but she will be here and there.

As a warning, this is an almost purely Doug and Carol piece, so you might want to skim it if you're not a Doug and Carol fan. I would recommend you do at least this because there is some important stuff in it. If you don't want to do even that, email me for a summary.

Songs used in this piece: "Another Year Has Gone By" by Celine Dion

As always, thanks go to Rachel and Lori for their help. I do not own any of the characters and make no money from their use.

Doug was in the kitchen helping Rosemarie set the table for dinner when she asked, "Will Carol be home for dinner or is she working?"

"I know she had some errands to run. I'll call her and find out." Doug went into the study and dialed Carol's cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me. How are you?"

"OK, I'm on my way to check out something at the florist."

"OK, I was calling to see if you wanted us to hold dinner for you?"

"You better not because I have a few other errands I need to run and I might not be back until the girls have to go to bed. I know Susan has to work so I don't want to delay her."

"OK, Rosemarie is making her ziti so I'll make sure we save some for you."

"Thanks, I'll see you later. I love you."

"Love you too."

Doug returned to the kitchen and said to Rosemarie, "She doesn't want us to hold dinner because she won't be home until around 7." Dropping his voice so Suzy wouldn't hear, he added, "Today is one year since her mom died so she went to the grave and had to run some other errands."

"I didn't know that. How is she doing?"

"OK. It's hard, but she is managing."

"That's good. If you want to go be with her I can take care of dinner and the girls."

"Thanks. I asked her earlier if she wanted me to go with her but she said she wanted to do it alone."

"Sometimes that's what people need."

A few minutes later, Susan came down to eat quickly before she had to leave for work. She asked Doug, "Is Carol OK? I saw her earlier and she seemed distracted."

"She is, today is one year since her mom died so she is a little out of it."

"I didn't realize that was today, I would have said or done something."

"She doesn't really want to talk about it."

"OK. I won't see her since I have to work, but let her know that I was thinking about her?"

"Sure."

Carol got home around 7:30 carrying a few shopping bags. Doug met her at the front door, gave her a kiss, and asked, "Are there more bags you need me to get?"

"Nope, this is all," Carol said, carrying the bags into the bedroom.

"Do you want me to heat up dinner?"

"That would be great, I'm starving. I'll check on Emma and then be right there."

About 5 minutes later, Carol had changed and checked on Emma and then she headed into the kitchen. She was surprised to see the table set for two. "You didn't eat yet?" she asked.

"No, I didn't want you to have to eat alone so I waited."

"Thank you. Do you want to know something strange?"

"Sure."

"When I went to mom's grave with flowers, there were already two bouquets there. One was from Mark and Elizabeth which I thought was really nice, but the other had no name and the florist couldn't give me any information."

"Were they Chrysanthemums?"

"Yes, beautiful pinkish red ones."

"Those were from me. I did include my name. I guess the florist made an error."

"Thank you," Carol said reaching over to give Doug a hug. "That means a lot to me."

"It was something I wanted to do-for you and your mom. So she knows she isn't forgotten."

"Thank you," Carol said, wiping a tear from her eye. "It's these little things you do that mean so much to me."

Later that night, around 1AM, Carol and Doug were in bed. Doug had fallen asleep a little more than an hour ago, but Carol was having trouble falling asleep. Since she had lay down, everything had started to hit her and she could no longer fight off the tears. After about 10 minutes of letting the tears slide down her cheeks, she rolled over and lay her head on Doug's shoulder. "Doug?" she whispered softly.

Doug opened his eyes and by the moonlight and the tone of Carol's voice, he could tell that she was crying. He put his arms around her and asked, "Do you want to talk or...?"

"In a few minutes, can you just hold me for now?"

"Of course"

Doug kept one arm around Carol's waist and rubbed her back with the other. After about 5 minutes, Carol's tears subsided and she said, "I tried to hold it together, I really did."

"You have done great. No one expected you do get through the day without being upset, it's only natural."

"It's just so hard. There is so much I want to ask her or tell her."

Doug didn't say anything, just rubbed her back as an encouragement for her to let it all go.

"It's so hard, I need her more than ever now that I am a mother. I have so many questions about raising kids and..." Carol started to cry again, and Doug pulled her close.

"You're doing a great job, you are a great mother."

"Thank you," Carol said, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "I know I can ask Haleh, Susan or Rosemarie the questions I have, but it's just not the same."

"No, it's not," Doug assented quietly.

Carol got up to go to the bathroom and when she returned, Doug was in the rocking chair. She walked over; he wrapped her in a blanket and took her in his arms. He knew this was one of those times where she didn't necessarily want to be comforted so he said, "I'm just going to hold you, you let me know if you need anything, ok? I don't want to push you."

"Thank you. Right now I just want you to hold me to see if I can fall asleep."

"What about a backrub? Will that help relax you?"

"I think it might, but I'd have to lay on the bed for that and I'd rather stay in your arms, I just feel a lot better."

"OK," Doug said. "I can give you a form of back rub like this, it just may not be as strong if you want me to try?"

"OK, that would be great, I love you. Thank you for taking care of me."

"You're welcome, I love you too."

Fade out as Doug rocked the chair and rubbed Carol's back. The clock moved fast in the background, and it read about 2 AM when Doug got up from the chair and gently lay Carol in bed and tucked her in. He climbed into bed beside her and put his arms around her.

It is Tuesday November 7 around 4:30 PM, and Carol, Rosemarie, and Emma are in the kitchen. Carol is sitting at the table reading Emma a story while Rosemarie prepares dinner. They had heard Susan's car pull up a few minutes ago, and Suzy had gone upstairs to say hello. A few minutes later, she came down the stairs and asked, "Is mommy ok? She's crying."

Carol and Rosemarie exchanged worried glances and Carol said, "I'll go check on her."

With Emma still in her arms, Carol quickly ascended the stairs. As she neared Susan's bedroom, she could hear the sound of her crying. Because the door was open, she went in, sat on the edge of the bed and asked, "Are you OK?"

Susan turned her head to face Carol and shook her head no. "Today was horrible, but I'd rather not talk about it right now. I'm at breaking point and don't want to blow up at you because my anger has nothing to do with you."

"OK," Carol said, rubbing Susan's back. "I'll be downstairs if you want to talk. Suzy can eat with us so you can take care of what you need to do."

"Thank you," Susan said, burying her face in the pillow again.

About 45 minutes later, Carol, Rosemarie and Suzy were sitting at the dinner table and Emma was in her high chair when the phone rang. Carol rose to answer it and her side of the conversation went, "Hi...Sure...I'll be right there...Of course not." Hanging up, she said to Rosemarie, "Can you finish up down here?"

"Of course."

"Thanks, I'll be back down in a little while."

Carol went up to Susan's bedroom and saw Susan lying on her side, her face was tearstained. "Thanks for coming up," Susan said. "I just didn't want Suzy to see me like this. How did you know that I was upset earlier?"

"Suzy came down and told us, so I thought I should come see if you were ok. I didn't mean to invade your space though."

"You didn't, you showed me you cared, which was what I needed. I was just so angry, and I didn't want to lash out at you when I wasn't angry with you. We've already had enough of those misunderstandings."

"I will always care, you know that. You're one of my best friends and even though we've argued, nothing could make me not care. I just wanted to make sure you knew I was there if you decided that you felt up to talking."

"I want to talk, but..."

"Is everything OK?"

"No, not at all," Susan said, allowing a few more tears to flow down her cheeks.

The tears snowballed, and within moments, Susan was crying nearly to the point of hyperventilation. Carol took her hand and said, "Try to take deep breaths." Sensing that Susan was trying to fight the tears, Carol said, "Don't fight it, let it all go."

"Will you stay with me?"

"Of course," Carol said, wrapping her arms around Susan to comfort her as best as possible.

About 5 minutes later, Susan had calmed down enough to drink a glass of ice water. When she was done, she put the glass on her nightstand and laid back on the pillows. Almost inaudibly, she said, "Robert broke up with me."

"I'm so sorry," Carol said, putting an arm around Susan. "I thought you two were doing so well."

"We were, but it was based on an illusion."

"An illusion?"

"We had told each other some stuff about one another, and generally had a good time when we went out. But I finally trusted him enough to tell him some information about my past and he totally freaked," Susan said, starting to tear up again. "He says I have too much baggage for him to deal with."

"He's a jerk," Carol said, rubbing Susan's back.

"Will any guy ever love me again or am I damaged to all men?"

"Don't ever think of yourself that way," Carol said. "You are a great person with a great heart and one day, you will find the right guy who will love you for exactly who you are. It's normal for you to be hurting right now, break ups are the worst."

"I'm at the point where I don't know if things will get better."

"They will. I promise you that," Carol said. "Remember a few years ago, I didn't think things would ever get better for me. And now I look back on these past six years. No, they haven't been perfect, but the good has definitely outweighed the bad."

"How did you get through that time?"

"I won't lie to you, it was hard. But talking to someone helped. Maybe you should consider going back to see Nina again?"

"She won't think it's stupid for me to get so upset over a break up."

"Not at all. Plus, it seems it's more than just the break up that is upsetting you."

"I know that. I just..."

Susan trailed off into tears and Carol said, "Try to talk it out, it might help."

Susan took a deep breath and said, "Deep down, I'm happy. I'm happy to be here in Chicago back with my friends, and I know that all of you really do care about me. But part of me won't stop thinking that you guys are doing this because you have to. And I feel like I have been such a burden to everyone."

"That's something you need to address with Nina. You know we all want to help you. And you have not been a burden at all," Carol said, locking Susan's gaze. "You have been such a help to all of us. We love having you around."

"Thank you."

"You'll get through this because you are a very strong person, but it won't be easy. I have faith that you can do it though. And I will be here for you each step of the way."

"Thank you for always being there for me."

It is now the early evening of November 13th, Doug and Carol's one year wedding anniversary. Doug and Carol are sitting, asleep, on a couch in front of the fireplace in a small cabin. Doug is sitting in the corner of the couch, and Carol is leaning against him with her head on his chest. Doug yawns, opens his eyes, and looks at his watch. He kisses Carol three times, once on each cheek and once on her lips.

"Mmmm," Carol said sleepily. "It's too early."

"It's 545 PM," Doug said. "The walk wore us both out. I fell asleep too."

"I needed that nap," Carol said stretching her legs out to uncramp them. She then leaned up to kiss Doug and said, "You make a very good pillow."

"Thanks. Dinner should be arriving at 6 PM which is good timing because I'm starting to get hungry."

"Me too."

After they ate the dinner of grilled chicken, Doug asked, "Do you want to do presents?"

"Sure," Carol said.

Doug started a fire in the fireplace and then they sat back on the couch and Doug asked, "Can I give you yours first? I can't wait any longer."

"OK," Carol said.

Doug handed her a card which had two little kids kissing on the outside, and inside he wrote:

Dear Carol:

I cannot believe it is our one year anniversary. I remember like yesterday the first time I laid eyes on you, yet it was nearly ten years ago. We've both grown and changed tremendously in these years, and I'm glad we've stayed on the same path. I love you more than anything. Here's to many many years more.

Love,
Doug

Carol had tears in her eyes and she opened the other envelope. In it, she found a gift certificate for a full day of treatment at a spa, complete with massages, body wraps, and a facial. "Thank you," Carol said, giving Doug a kiss. "That's a great gift. I love you too."

Carol took three envelopes plus a card and said, "Your present comes in three parts, but you have to read the card first."

"OK," Doug said. He opened the card, which was exactly the same card as he had given to Carol and began to read:

Dear Doug:

Well we might not have known each other when we were quite this young, but it's been a long time. And over those years, my love for you has grown. In this year that we've been "official," you have helped me through the worst times of my life, and I couldn't have done it without you. I love you so much.

Love,
Carol

Doug smiled, and said, "I can't believe we got each other the exact same cards."

"We think a little too much alike at times." Carol handed Doug one envelope and from it he removed a piece of paper that he saw was the lab write up of some blood work. He scanned it quickly and asked, "This is the latest one?"

"Yes, it's from my 6 month check up which was on Friday."

"I'm so happy. You're officially in remission. This is a great present," Doug said, kissing Carol's head.

"I am too. It was so hard to keep this a secret since Friday, but I really wanted to surprise you. Here is Part 2," Carol said, handing Doug a second envelope. From the envelope, Doug removed a ticket for the Knicks-Bulls game on March 17 at Madison Square Garden where the Knicks played. Doug had a bewildered look on his face and Carol explained, "Mark is getting a ticket from Elizabeth for Christmas. She and I have planned a trip to New York City for the four of us around that date."

"Thank you so much. That is a great idea."

"We thought it would be a lot of fun. Remember, you can't mention it to Mark yet."

"OK."

Carol then handed Doug the final envelope, which also contained a write up of blood work. As Doug studied it, he broke out into a huge smile and reached over to give Carol a hug.

"I'm so happy, I love all of the presents, but this is the best you could have given me. How far along are you?"

"5 weeks."

"So it was that night?"

"Yes, which makes it even more special."

"When did you find out?"

"Just this morning for certain, but I did a home test on Saturday. I wanted to know for sure first. I want to thank you for a great anniversary," Carol said, leaning over and kissing Doug.

"Thank you too," Doug said. "I have one more thing though." He reached over and pressed play on a small stereo. He took Carol's hands, pulled her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her as the music started to play. She put her arms around him, lay her head on his shoulder and they started to dance.

So many 25th's of December
Just as many 4th of July's
And we're still holding it together
It only comes down to you and I

I know you can still remember
Things we said right from the start
When we said that this could be special
I'm keeping those words deep down in my heart

Another year has gone by
And I'm still the one by you're side
After everything that's gone by
There's still no one saying goodbye
Though another year has gone by
I've never been much for occasions
You never let a birthday go by
With announcing how much you love me
But the truth was always there
Right there in your eyes

And we're still holding hands when we're walking
Acting like we've only just met
But how could that be
When there's so much history
Guess that's how true lovers can get

Another year has gone by

-September 30, 2000