The Heart
By Amanda
rainbowx5@aol.com

John Carter walked in the ER; it was still hard for him to face coming in to the ER. But he had already known that it was still a long time before he would feel safe in the ER again.
Carol Hathaway was in the ER watching Carter stand outside of the ER doors before he enters. It had been 20 minutes since he had arrived, she decided to talk to him, so she grabbed her coat and went outside to where Carter was standing.

Carol: John? (Carter didn't see carol come outside) Carter?

Carter: Oh Carol, I didn't see you standing their Sorry.

Carol: (giving Carter her hand) I know it is still hard for you to come in to the ER after your ordeal.

Carter: It's been difficult for me. I know that I haven't stayed around after my shift is because I usually want to get home.

Carol: I understand, do you want to come inside now?

Carter: Yeah I would like to start my shift.

Carol: Ok! (Carol knew that Carter needed the comfort she was giving him.)

Carter: (as they enter the ER) Carol thank your for coming out here and talking to me.

Carol: Your Welcome. (Carol was glad to hear those words coming from John Carter.)

Mark Greene walked in for his shift at 3:00 in the afternoon. He knew that the ER was busy. Ever since Carter left the apartment at seven in the morning for his shift, he was still worrying about the night before. It seemed as though Carter was having nightmares about his attack and wake up and not go back to sleep. So he had heard Carter leave at 6:00 am. As he headed to the admit desk to sign in he had spotted Carol talking to Randi. So he decided to talk to Carol about Carter.

Carol saw Mark approaching the admit desk.

Mark: Hey Carol can I talk to you?

Carol: Sure Mark. (Handing Randi a chart)

Randi: Carol you want me to show Dr. Carter this chart.

Carol: Yes Randi and do it now.

Randi: Ok (Leaves to find Carter.)

Mark: So I see you have seen Carter today.

Carol: Yeah! He is still having a hard time entering the ER; he was standing by the bay doors before entering the ER.

Mark: How long was he standing there this time?

Carol: About 20 minutes. Mark this isn't the Carter we used to know.

Mark: I know Carol, he still has nightmares about his attack. I sometimes hear him scream at night. (Lydia walking by says something to Mark.)

Lydia: Trauma coming ETA about 5 minutes.

Mark: Ok.

They run to for the trauma pulling up and is join by Carter who looks a little paler than usual.

Carter sees that Mark and Carol were also called for the trauma coming in and to wait for the ambulance pull up. The ambulance finally arrived. It was a 45 year old man who had gotten shot with four bullet wounds and they were able to get him stabilized and had Dr. Benton take him up to the OR. Carter all of a sudden felt nauscias and had ran out of the trauma room to get to the bathroom.

Mark and Carol had both noticed that Carter had been a lot more paler in the trauma room, when noticed that Carter was paler in the bay area it was than they both knew something was wrong and now he was much paler than before. After Peter had taken the trauma patient up to the OR, they had noticed that Carter had run out of the trauma room. Mark decided that he needed to find the young resident to see what was wrong.

Mark:  Carol I will be right back.

Carol: Mark go find him. (She was also really worried about Carter)

Mark: Ok (he left Carol knowing that she was also worried). Hey Haleh have you seen Carter.

Haleh: He's been in the bathroom for awhile.

Mark: Thanks. (He was heading to the Bathroom to talk to Carter, when Deb Chen came up to him.)

Deb: Hey Dr. Greene are you ok?

Mark: Yes Im ok (after that he enter the bathroom, as Carter was walking out of a stall, after he had flushed the toilet.)

Carter: Hey Dr. Greene Im ok. It Just I got nausea after being in trauma 2, it just reminds me of regaining consciousness in there.

Mark: I was just seeing if you were doing ok. (Mark understands what Carter meant.)

Carter: (walking out of the Bathroom) Thanks Dr. Greene but Im fine.

Mark: All right see you later Carter. (He knew Carter wasn't fine. He looked paler than before.

Two hours later Carter was in the lounge getting ready to leave. Earlier he didn't feel like telling Mark that he had thrown up. He knew Mark would be checking on him. All of sudden he felt shortness of breath. He looked in his locker mirror and noticed his lips were very blue. He then realized as a doctor he wasn't getting enough oxygen. He was now scared that there was something was seriously wrong with him. He knew that he needed to sit down.

Carol knew that Carter said he was getting ready to leave. But it had been awhile since he had entered the lounge. All of sudden Carol and a few other nurses heard a crash coming from the lounge. Carol got up from where she was sitting at the admit desk, and ran into the lounge and saw Carter on the floor trying to gasp for air. The look John Carter had on his face also told her he was in pain.

Carol: Where does it hurt John?

Carter: Carol my chest. (He knew he wanted to go into unconsciousness, but didn't he wanted Carol to keep talking to him.)

Carol: Carter I will be right back, hold on ok.

Carter: Please hurry (still having trouble breathing).

Carol: (running out of the lounge spotting Mark and Peter.) Hey guys we need to get a gurney into the lounge now.

Mark: Carol what's going on in the lounge, and why are we bringing a gurney in there?

Carol: Because Carter was getting ready to leave work, when I heard a crash in there. I ran in and he was on the floor of the lounge, gasping for air. We need to get him into a trauma room now.

Mark: Lets get moving now. (No sooner they were in the lounge and saw what Carol was talking about. Mark notice that Carter was having difficult time breathing.

Carol: His breathing is getting heavier. (Mark and Peter were getting Carter on to a gurney.)

Peter: Carter look at me where does it hurt? (Carter pointed to his chest, for his age he knew he was to young to be having a heart attack. All of a sudden everything went black. Carol had noticed that Carter had lost consciousness.)

Carol: John! John Can you hear me? (There was no response from him.)

Peter and Mark looked down at the young resident, who had just lost consciousness. They had heard Carol yelling at Carter and when there was no response, they knew they were losing him. They finally got him into the trauma room and learned that he had stopped breathing. They had finally got him intubated, when they got the x-rays back, they noticed that a tumor was forming around Carter's heart. Why would someone so young have to go through this horrible illness?

Mark: Peter wait, it looks like it's more of a hole in his heart.

Peter: That means we need to put him on a bypass machine, until he wakes up.

Mark: It looks like he needs a new heart. I will talk to the Cardiology unit and tell them to put Carter on the waiting list for a new heart.

(Both men had forgotten that Carol was still in the room with them.)

Carol: Hey guys let move him into an exam room before he wakes up.

Mark: Ok lets go. (They put Carter into Exam room one.) Carol will you be the one to keep an eye on Carter?

Carol: Yes Mark I will. (She was off her shift now, so she pulled a chair next to Carter's bed and watched him. This was her friend. Carter had counted the ER staff as his only family. She knew that Carter had never taken a holiday off. She picked up Carter's hand and just held it for a long time. She knew that Mark and Peter had left the room to do chart reviews. She didn't realize that she had dozed off, when she heard a rustling noise come from the bed. She saw John Carter looking up at her with fear. She knew that look too well; it was in his eyes everyday. Carter was awake, she was thankful for that. She then told Carter that she needed to get Mark and Peter in to let them know that he was awake.)

Carol: Carter I will be right back ok.

(Carter nodded telling her ok, she spotted Peter and Mark in the lounge.) Hey guys are patient is awake and alert.

Mark: That's a good sign Carol, let's go extubate him and tell him what's going on. (To Mark that was a relief to know that Carter was awake.)

Peter: I know that this is only a one-person job, but since I assisted on his case I want to know how he is doing. (The three of them went into the exam where Carter was.)

Mark: Do you know where you are John? (At that question Carter nodded knowing where he was.) Ok were going to extubate and you know the drill. Ok take a deep breath. (As Mark got the tube out of Carter he was glad to hear a sigh of relief of having that tube out.)

Carter:(in a weak voice) I had a heart attack, didn't I?

Mark:Yes you did. But for your age, that would be too young. You have a hole in your heart, and now you need a new heart. We put you on a waiting list Carter.

Carter: Well when I was a child, a doctor told me I had a heart murmer, it should be in my medical file.

Peter: We didn't look at your medical file. But we want to keep you hear for four days for observation. I prescribed some medications to keep your heart stablize until we find a new heart.

Carter: At least it's shorter than my last hospital stay.

Carol: I want you to stay with me, at my house for awhile. (she knew that Marks daughter Rachel was coming to stay with Mark for two months, while Jen and Craig were on business trip for those two months.) It would only be two months.

Carter: Ok but I thought I was living with Dr. Greene

Mark: Rachel is coming to stay with me for two months, while Jen and Craig are on a business trip, and this is giving me a chance to spend time with Rachel. So I arranged with Carol to have you stay at her place.

Carter: Ok I will be with Carol. (Knowing that she lived a little closer to the hospital than Mark.)

Carol: Ok its settle then, and as your nurse right now its time for you to get some rest. (looking at Mark and Peter.)

Carter: Ok out you guys I need my rest.

Four days later Carter was ready to go to Carol's house. It had been awhile since he had been at Carol's house. It was about three in the afternoon, when Carol knocked on his room door.

Carol: Ready to go?

Carter: Definitely. Let's get the hell out of here.

Carol: All right I obey your command Master. (She teased him. For the first time in along time she saw Carter smiled.)  We have to pick up your medication before we go.

Carter: Aye Aye Captain. (It had been a long time since he had teased anyone and felt more comfortable in the ER again.)
As they left the hospital, Carter knew he had a week to recover, then he would return to work. As they enter Carol's house, she told him that Mark had brought his stuff over. As they were walking by the bedrooms, Carol pointed out to him that the one on the left was his bedroom. She also had Tess and Kate to take care of, but remember she has a nanny to take care of the twins.

Carol: Hey Carter are you hungry? (Carter didn't respond and she went to the living room, where Carter had gone to rest after he had unpacked his stuff. She saw that he was asleep. So she left him alone to sleep, since he needed to recover. All of sudden she heard him scream, she ran back to him.) Carter are you all right?

Carter: I had the same nightmares I been having for months.

Carol: What are the nightmares about Carter?

Carter: attacker, Lucy, and me.

Carol: Oh (finally realizing the nightmares were caused by his attack.) Do you want anything to eat? (Thinking that it would be better to get Carter thinking of something else.)

Carter: Yes I would, what do you have? (He was glad carol had decided to switch the topic, to a different conversation.)

Carol: How about Lasagna?

Carter: Sounds good to me. (They both got up from the couch and sat down to eat.) You know what Carol; You Mark and Peter have been very kind to me these past few months. I appreciate that you guys are the ones there to protect me.

Carol: Your welcome Carter.

Carter: Do me a favor Carol, when were not at work, I would like to be called John. I had done this with Kerry and Mark.

Carol: Ok John I will. (For the first time she saw what Kerry and Mark saw in John Carter. He was a true friend.) Im done with dinner, how about you?

Carter: Yeah Im done with dinner, Im going to take my medication and then head for bed. (He knew that his true friends were the ones, that offer him a place to live. He is glad to have friends like Mark, Peter, Kerry and Carol.)

Carol: Ok goodnight John, Im going to check on Tess and Kate. I will see you in the morning then.

Carter: Ok! (Glad to know that Carol had the same shift as him.)

It had been three month's since Carter had his heart attack. He had finally moved back in with Mark. That day Carter was at home, since it was his day off. When an unexpected visitor came over. He got up to answer the door, to his surprise Susan Lewis was standing outside the door.

Susan Lewis had been gone for three years. She wanted to Surprise Mark, so she decided to come over to her old apartment, she rang the doorbell and knocked. She was surprised to see John Carter answer the door to Marks apartment.

Carter: Dr. Lewis? I guess you were looking for Mark.

Susan: Yes I am. (Carter looked paler than she had ever seen.) What are you doing here Carter?

Carter: (realizing that she didn't know that Carter had been living with Mark.) I live here. I have been living here since February. (He hated February since his attack.)

Susan: Wow! (She noticed the forlorn expression on Carter's face. When she heard Carter's watch alarm go off.)

Carter: Guess it's time for me to take my medication.

Susan: Carter are you ok?

Carter: Im fine. Come on in while I take my medication.

Susan: What do you have to take medication for?

Carter: For my heart to keep it stabilize, until I get a new one. That's why I keep my pager on me all the time.

Susan: What happened to your heart?

Carter: I had a heart attack three months ago. For about two months I was living with Carol and her twin Girls.

Susan: Wow that must have been horrible being a patient.

Carter: The second time around being a patient was easy, the first time was harder.

Susan: You have been a patient twice this year. What was the first one for?

Carter: I think I will let Dr. Greene explain that one. (Carter just saw Mark enter the room, and the expression on his face told Carter that he just realized that he had saw him talking to Susan Lewis.) Susan I think you better turn around. It was nice talking with you again, but I have to go start my shift. (Carter watched Susan turned around and then he left for work.)

Mark had entered his apartment to find Carter talking to Susan.  He was glad Carter had someone to talk to right now. Then realized Carter's shift started soon. So Carter said his good-byes.

Mark: Susan what are you doing here?

Susan: I came to surprise, and instead found out Carter has been living with you since February.

Mark: Yeah he has, well it was more of March when he was discharge from the hospital.

Susan: Carter said he was a patient in the hospital twice. He explained to me why he was in the hospital the second time. He said you would explain the first time.

Mark: The first time Carter was a patient, that was really a difficult time for him to recover. It's a long story, are you sure you want to listen to this.

Susan: Im here, and as you know I am a good listener.

Mark: Ok it happened on Valentines Day, at the time I was out with my dad and Elizabeth Corday and Her mom. We were singing Karoke when Elizabeth and My Pager went off. So we drove back to the hospital and there were police everywhere.

Even Elizabeth and I had to show are I.D. and we realize something seriously happened. When we got inside we saw Carter on a gurney hooked up to several machines. Peter told us that he had several stab wounds to his lower back and that he had really low blood pressure and were getting up to the OR. Elizabeth and I ran to help attend Kerry with the other stab victim, which happened to be Lucy Knight. She was Carter's fourth year Med. Student. We got her stabilize and Elizabeth got her up to the OR, but there was some complications and she didn't make it. But Carter survived and had some physical therapy. But he still feels guilty for Lucy Death. Kerry was the one who had found him and Lucy in Exam rooms three. They got his attacker and he went up to the Pshye ward, under police supervision. That's it for now.  That's the whole story of what happened to Carter.

Susan: Wow that is a long story. Im glad he's ok.

Mark: Well he is still waiting for his new heart.

Susan: That's right he told me what happened.

Two Days later Carol and Carter were having lunch at Doc Magoo's when his pager went off. He looked at his pager and it wasn't the ER paging him. It was the Cardiology Unit. Carol saw the glimmer shine in his eyes. Carter and Carol ran out of Doc's after paying for their lunch. Then saw the ER was looking at Carter, while he pressed the Elevator button. They knew then that Carter's new heart had just arrived. Carol went with Carter.

They were in the Elevator when Carol asked Carter a question.

Carol: John how are you feeling?

Carter: A little bit nervous and excited about this new heart.

Carol: You don't mind me tagging along with you.

Carter: I don't mind at all Carol. Im glad your coming with me. I didn't feel like going alone. (All of a sudden the Elevator stopped on the Cardiology Unit. Carol and Carter got out and went to the admit desk.) Mrs. Im Dr. John Carter, you paged me.

Nurse: Yes I did. They found a match for you. They want to get the surgery done right away.

Carter: Ok Im ready. (He knew everyone in the ER was prepared for this day.)

Nurse: Im actually a nurse up here, we need to get you ready for post op.

Carter: Ok (Carter followed the nurse to Post-Op) Oh by the way this is my is my friend Carol Hathaway, She's a nurse in the ER.

Carol: (she had already had met the younger nurse before.) Hi Natalie.

Natalie: Hi Carol

Carter: You guys already know each other?

Carol: Yeah (they were in the post-op and had Carter in the bed. Natalie had given him the anthesia. She then noticed that he had finally gone under the anthesia.)

Natalie: It looks like he's ready.

It had been about four hours since Carter went in for his heart transplant. Mark, Peter, and Kerry had joined Carol. All of a sudden the OR doors that Carter was in, opened and came Carter on a gurney going to recovery. After the Doctor got him into recovery he went to talk to the ER staff. He had learned that the ER staff cared about their colleague.

Doctor Keagon: Hi Im Doctor Keagon, I did the operation on Dr. Carter. He is in recovery and responding to the new heart.

Peter: Thank you Doctor Keagon, can we see him?

Doctor Keagon: Yes you can. (Peter, Mark, Kerry and Carol, and they all saw the machines on Carter. They pulled up four chairs and sat next to Carter. All of sudden Carter's eyes open, even though he couldn't talk, he knew the new heart was working. He turned his head slightly and saw Peter, Mark, Kerry, and Carol looking at him.

Peter: Carter they said you did fine in Surgery, and will be in the hospital for two weeks. This is Dr. Keagon who did your surgery.

Dr. Keagon: Hi Dr. Carter for now that you're my patient you will be moved to ICU for about two days. To see how you're doing. And now that you're awake, we can extubate and you know the drill. Take a deep breath. Good, your throat will be sore for awhile. So for now I will let your friends visit with you for a few minutes, then I want you to get some rest.

Carter: (in a weak voice) thank you Dr. and please call me John.

Dr. Keagon: Ok John see you later. (Dr. Keagon left while Carol, Mark, Peter, and Kerry stayed to visit.

Carol: Well it looks like we might just get the old Carter Back.

Carter: Yes the new me is gone, be lucky you're getting the clumsy Carter back.

Kerry: Were proud of you Carter, you been through a lot more this year.

Carter: Thank you Kerry.

Peter: Well I wanted to say Hi, but I have to get back to work.

Mark: Actually all of us do. So will come and stopped by later.

Carter: ok. (As they left the recovery nurses moved him to the ICU ward. Carter was sleeping then.)

Five days later Carter was up and moving around, he was no longer in the ICU ward. Dr. Keagon notices that this young man was a fast person to recover and a fighter to live. He decided that Carter was ready to be discharged.  He entered Carter's room to tell him the good news.

Dr. Keagon: Hey John, guess what I decided. I decided since your making progress that you can be discharged this afternoon, how about that.

Carter: I would like that. Thank you for all you done for me.

Dr. Keagon: Well remember to keep taking your medication for your heart.

Carter: I will. (He started packing the clothes Mark had brought him, from home into his suitcase.)

Dr. Keagon: I want to see you in about a month. But since you're a doctor in the ER. I might as well see you with your patients down there.

Later that afternoon Mark walked into Carter's hospital room, to take him home.

Mark: Are ready to go home?

Carter: As always.

Mark: Lets get going then. (As they enter their apartment, Mark decided it was better for him to unpack Carters suitcase, since Carter looked tired.) Hey I will unpack your things for you.

Carter: (He knew he was tired and needed to rest to recover.) Ok thank you Mark.

Mark: Your welcome John.

Two months Later Carter was back at work and everything was back to normal. He liked that. Carter was feeling good and no one could change his mood. He was glad to be back in the ER.