Here are some favourite quotes from “Whose Line” or Whose Line related material. This page is *constantly* being updated. If there’s a particular quote you want listed that I missed, as always, just let me know!
“He was as tall as a post & twice as thick”- Colin 
“If I were a man with gills I would be a fish!”- Ryan
“Nice pants”- Colin
“I feel like the meat in an incompetent sandwich”- Brad
“This courtroom is a Mochrie!”- Colin
“You know, for as long as I can remember, I’ve had memories...”- Colin
“It’s also a big *continent* if you’re a geographer!”- Greg
“Look at the different...things....”- Colin
“Some people say rodents aren't flammable. Well...”- Brad
“The sky. The sky beyond the door is blue.”- Ryan
“Cause it seems to me that this country is so often a redneck, d*ckhead, peckerwood, bo-hug, he-haw, gun-totin', psycho-christian, antichoice, homophobic, gimme-cap wearin, militia arm band, sportin a huge belt buckle with your name on it that you wear upside-down so you go 'Oh sh*t that's my name!'... kind of place.”- Greg
“I have two arms. She does not. I love her arms. She loves clothes!”- Wayne, Ryan, and Colin in 3-Headed Broadway Star (from the song “Whistle on Cue.” What a wonderful suggestion!!)
“He wasn’t a handsome man. He had a face like a collapsed lung.”- Colin
“The buzzing sound you hear is the capitalists trying to oppress us”- Greg
“I got a new podium!”- Chip
“Do you know how many eggs go into a really good banana bread recipe?”- Colin
“I think it was Tennessee Williams who said, 'Y'all are crap!”- Tennessee Williams (no, just kidding, it was Colin)
“Would you like to sit on the presidential staff?”- Greg
“Give me liberty or a bran muffin!”- Colin
“I miss the chicken as I miss the hair from my legs”- Ryan
“Well, if it’s locked from the inside, that means we can open it!”- Colin
“Sandpaper!”- Colin
“If I could rap that would be a sensation, but I can’t, you see, I’m just a Caucasian”- Ryan
“Oh, that’s *air* going into my lungs”- Colin
“I broke Ryan!”-Chip
“Keith, I’m gonna need two minutes...”- Ryan
“Detergent detergent... THE CAT!!! No, that's no good”-Colin
“1000 points to Hansel and Gretel, wherever you are.”-Drew
“If I were a man that was like my woman, I would be my wife.”-Ryan
“It all started with a badly timed bald joke!”- Colin
“Have you seen my accent?”- Ryan
“Not hot my friend, not hot....SPIIIICY!”- Greg
“Get off the mailman! Get off the mailman!”- Ryan
“I let him think for a while, 'cause I knew he had the answer. I knew it was a good answer, and he was going to tell it to me. 'Cause when you ask a question, you expect an answer, because that's the way it works...question, answer, answer, question. If he gave the answer, I'd have to come up with the question, that would be Jeopardy! - That's wrong." -Colin
“Anyway, long story short, this is the stone I passed!”- Ryan
“Well, my woman stayed true and I'm sober.” - Greg (unlikely country songs)
“Assault with a battery!”- Colin
“Cause it sound better than the truth....la la la la la la la la la....it *sounds* better and it *tastes* better so we’ll all pretend it really happened...there were no women or minorities....just a bunch of white guys wearing wigs..my feeling is....”- Greg
“Yes Captain, I'd like some booty”- Wayne
“Don't cry...you're not that good an actor!”- Colin
“I got cable”- Ryan
“Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!”- Colin
“I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts”- Ryan
“You seem real easy and willing to put out, so roll in the cream cheese, roll in the cream cheese!”- Colin
“Don't shoot till you see the whites!”- Ryan
“And a thousand points to Ryan, just for giving the censor something to think about”- Drew
“If I were a drink I believe I would be a margarita because I’m tall....and salty....and I always have tequila in me...”- Chip
“I've got worms WHERE?”- Ryan
“It would have been funnier if your head had burst into flames”- Colin
"Thousand points for everybody! Usually a thousand, but for you, nine ninety-nine! Nine ninety-nine! I'm giving the points away, only nine ninety-nine! I'm craaaazy."- Drew
“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it’s not like the sheep was underage!”- Colin
“Now because, now because we couldn't do this on a regular show, we have a prepared wife in the other oven.”-Wayne
“INSTRUMENTAL!”- Colin
“I think bachelor number two wasn’t held enough as a child.”- Brad
“He had the kind of face only a mother could love. If that mother was blind in one eye, and had that sort of milky film over the other one, ya..ya know, ya know what I mean? But still he was my identical twin.” -Colin
“I just noticed off the west...wing....I haven’t been a captain very long!”- Wayne
“Look I know this is only our first date but I LOVE YOU!!! BE WITH ME!!”- Greg
“And if that isn't the truth, it would be a lie.” -Colin
“Old asparagus. It is for this: Ryan?”- Colin
“Here at Wacko’s funeral parlour...”- Colin
“If you shout something, it makes more sense”- Colin (“I’M BLOWING UP YOUR PANTS!”)
“The road’s ringin’!”- Ryan
“I’ve been reading up on squatters rights...”- Ryan
“Great leaping tree shrews!”- Greg
“If that’s fake, then I’m bald!”- Colin
“You were born to sing, I was born to be snide”- Greg (to Wayne)
“When you’re blowing in a chicken, be sure you’re blowing in the right end”- Colin
“It’s a new mandate from the...guys upstairs.”
“I don’t care *how* many men you’ve dated!”- Wayne and Greg
“I HATE THIS F*CKING HAT!”- Ryan
“How a cow gave birth to a kitten I don’t know!”- Ryan (in that damn audience sound effects game...)
“Look at her, she really shakes that asp!”- Chip
“Let’s just say that her boa woulda had a fight with an anaconda.”- Wayne
“You idiot! That hasn’t been invented yet!”- Colin
“It’s me, chocolate Yentl”- Wayne
“Nothin better than grabbin some steaks and a six pack and going to the opera.”- Ryan
“You! Get off McCloud!”- Colin
“I shoulda worn my pork underwear.”- Ryan
“Give your hands a breast. I mean rest.”- Ryan
“BURN VICTIM! BURN VICTIM!”- Dan/Drew
“BACKSTREET BOYS!”- Colin
“I've changed my name to Germane”- Colin
“Let's do it twelve more times!”- Ryan
“Knock Knock”
“Who's there?”
“SATURDAY”
- Ryan/Dan
“This next song is a breakdance number...and guess what...I'm in it!”- Colin
“Oh my G-d, I *am* bald!”- Colin (“Somebody should have told you!”)
