~ chapter 9 ~

"How could you, Michael? Huh? Tell me! How the hell could you hurt her like this…"

Michael's eyes flared with anger. "Me? You've got some helluva nerve, buddy!" Michael pushed Max away and pointed a finger at him. "If she's in there crying her eyes out over a broken heart it's because of you, Maxwell. You did this to her…"

Max started to lunge at Michael but Tess pulled him back just before he made any kind of physical contact. "Max! Max, come on! Stop it! Max…listen. He's right, okay? Michael's right…"

Tess' words broke through Max's anger and he heaved a broken sigh that sounded very much like a strangled sob. Max looked down and closed his eyes pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger trying his best to get the image of Liz running away crying out of his mind. Shaking his head he let out another sigh. "I know. I know I did this…"

"No, Max. *We* did this." Tess put her arms around Max's waist and led him to the table. She helped him slide into his seat then sat next to him rubbing his arm in comfort. Smiling faintly at Michael, Tess jerked her head in a 'well-don't-just-stand-there-get-over-here' gesture. Michael rolled his eyes and came to sit across from Max.

Swallowing his anger and pride, Michael's words were softened with understanding when he saw the self-loathing that washed over his friend. "Look, Max. I've been there. I know how much you're hurting. How empty it is to be without her. That's why…that's why we wanted to try this. To see if there was still a chance for the two of you."

"There's not, Michael." Max looked up from the table, his eyes full of pain. "Didn't you see her? She can barely stand to be in the room with me."

"No, Maxwell. She can't stand to be in the room with Tess."

"Gee, thanks, bro." Tess quipped with a toss of her blonde curls as she crossed her arms in front of her. "Make me feel better about my role in this little charade why don't ya."

"You know what I mean." Michael shot Tess a look before turning his attention back to Max. "Max. Listen. When it was the two of you…when you were looking in each others' eyes…it's still there, Maxillian. You felt it. Liz felt it. Hell, all of the East Coast felt it. And you're a fool if you don’t at least take a chance to get it back."

"I'm not sure Liz would see it that way, Michael." Max looked down with a mumble. "And I'm certain Ben won't."

"Forget Ben."

"Michael. He's her fiancée'." Max's head shot up and shook in disbelief at Michael's ease in dismissing an obviously important person in Liz's life.

"Yeah, a fiancée who doesn't seem to know the first thing about her." Michael swept his hand out in a wide gesture. "Look around you, Max. She has *you* all around her. Maria says this is her favorite place to be. That's gotta mean something..."

"Yeah. That she likes Chinese food." Max shot back as he ran his hand wearily over his eyes. Admitting the thought that made his stomach turn, Max's eyes stayed glued to his hands as he struggled to say the words. "Or how about this meaning something? She's getting married, Michael. She's trying on wedding dresses and wearing another guy's ring. She...really loves...him."

"She doesn't." Michael stated confidently.

A flicker of hope flashed in Max's eyes then died just as quickly when he remembered seeing her earlier trying on wedding gowns. Max looked back up at Michael. "Michael. Come on. You know Liz. She believes in love like she believes in..."

"You." Michael finished for Max, leaning forward for emphasis. "Like she believes in you."

Max shook his head sadly. "Maybe once." His eyes shifted to the back room where the pool table stood, memories of the times he and Liz had began rushing through his mind. "A long time ago. But not now. Not ever again."

"You don't know that until you try." Michael replied softly.

"Look, Michael. It's over, okay?" Max's voice raised in frustration as his eyes flicked back to Michael's face. "Liz wouldn't make such a serious commitment if she didn't mean it. I should know. She made one to me once. We'd still be together now if it hadn't been for what I had to do. I'm the one who broke our vows…"

Tired and deflated, Max let out another sigh and looked down again and began to play with the salt shaker on the table. "But now...now she's moved on. She's found someone else to love. To commit to. And why shouldn't she? At least with him she'll have a normal life. She'll be able to raise a family and be happy."

"She can't be really happy without you, Max. She's tried. All of this time. Just like you have. Yeah, maybe she's found someone, but it's not the same. It never will be. Not until she's back in your life..."

Max slammed his hand down on the table, his frustration beginning to get the better of him. "Dammit, Michael! Don't you get it? Can't you see?! I can't start believing this...I can't start feeling this...hope...again. If I even try once...I won't be able to walk away again. It'll destroy me this time when I lose her."

"Then don't lose her." Tess chimed in. "What you just said, Max. About not being able to walk away. That's the smartest thing I've heard you say in a while." Tess leaned her arms against the table. "Follow through on that and maybe one of us might have a chance at a bit of happiness from this hell we've created for ourselves."

"Tess..."

"No, Max. Listen to me." Tess touched his arm to get his attention. When his eyes drifted to hers, she spoke with conviction, her words bearing a double meaning that Max read all too well. "There is *nothing* to stop you. Nothing."

Max swallowed hard and covered her hand with his. "I can't do that to you, Tess..."

"Max." Tess' voice softened and her eyes brightened with unshed tears. "For once in your life, would you let yourself off the hook of responsibility? Of guilt? There's nothing you can do to stop what is happening to me. No matter how much you want to. To...stop my fate, you'd have to lie to your heart. And that's something you've never been able to do. I've known that since the beginning. I've resolved myself to it. Now it's time for you to the same...and start living like it."

"But…"

"But nothing." Tess cut Max off curtly. "Please Max. Don't let our sacrifices amount to nothing. Take the chance to turn it all around and fight for her."

Max sat silently for a moment his eyes glued to Tess' face. Could she be right? Could everything they'd done…all the loss that was to come...be for nothing if he didn't take the chance to love Liz again now? They had both led unfulfilled lives with dreams that would never be realized. Maybe now was the chance to change all of that. To make those dreams come true. He just had to move past his fear.

And that was the problem. Max had lived his life in fear for so long. He wasn't even sure when it happened. Take that back. He knew exactly the moment that it happened. The night Nasedo came to him and told him about his destiny…his fate. How one girl he barely knew was meant to be his forever...or she'd die. And how the girl he loved more than life itself would loose her own life if Max continued to defy his fate and love her.

In short, Nasedo told him the blood of two lives would be on his hands if he continued his relationship with Liz. Losing Liz had been hell in and of itself. Losing her to death because of his own selfishness would have driven him insane. So he let her go and pretended to love another.

Now, years later, both women were alive. Breathing. Walking. Talking. Even smiling. But were either of them really living? Was he? He already knew the answer to that one. Max Evans' heart died the day he walked away from Liz. It had been ripped out of his chest and laid at her feet at the same moment he broke hers. He expected nothing in return and he didn't care what she did with it. If she trampled on it, he deserved it. If she held it captive for the rest of his life, so be it. He just knew he didn't want it back. Max could walk away and live his life without her, but he had no other choice but to leave his heart with her...where it had always belonged.

Tess went day to day wondering when her last may come. Oh, she put up a good front and led as normal of a life as she could, but Max was reminded every time her pain would be too much to bear. She'd call on him for his healing touch knowing that it wouldn't completely heal her. It would only serve to prolong the inevitable.

And Liz. What about Liz? He couldn't deny Michael's statements. He had seen the old spark waiting for him there in her eyes. Felt the heat in her touch. Recognized the desire he'd seen burning for him before. It was replaced with care and concern when she looked at Ben. But love? The kind that he and Liz had shared? No. Max couldn't honestly say he saw that kind of love burning in her eyes for Ben. Then again, maybe that's the way she wanted it...

"Fight for her." Max repeated as his eyes began to twinkle suddenly, half in amusement…half in hope.

"Yeah." The beginning of a smile touched Tess' lips when she saw the renewed hope in Max's eyes. "Fight for her. It might do you some good to remember what it's like to really follow your heart."

"And if I decided to do this...who exactly do you think I need to fight?"

Tess shrugged. "Ben...maybe. Maybe not." Tess leaned back in her chair and considered her words for a moment. "Honestly? I think you're biggest battle is going to be Liz. She may love you, Max, but that doesn't erase the last seven years. Or how you broke things off with her..."

"But it was you that..."

Tess raised her hand to silence Max. "I know that. But Liz doesn't. She still thinks you cheated on her. She needs to know the truth, Max. And she needs to know it before you can ever hope to win her back."

Max looked from Tess to Michael. "What about you? Is that what you think I should do?"

Michael shrugged in his casual, no-care attitude. "The following your heart thing…it, uh…well, it's usually a good thing. A really good thing."

Max cracked a smile. "Never thought I'd see the day Michael Guerin would spout off about following his heart. Since when did you become such a romantic?"

The beginning of a smile turned the side of Michael's lips upward. "When I lost the Czechoslovakian-Pixieland war." A full blown smile made it to Michael's face and his eyes began to dance with love. "Believe me, Maxwell, surrender is so sweet…" He leaned forward and raised an eyebrow. "In fact, I can give you a few tips on the treaty terms. You know…which side of the bed..."

Max leaned forward with sudden interest and Tess rolled her eyes. "Oh, God. If you guys think I'm going to sit here and listen to my two 'brothers' have the birds and the bees conversation…I’m…you're…well that's just gross! I'm going to shoot a round of pool…"

Max and Michael held back their laughter until Tess had slipped from the table. Turning back to one another, Max looked away sheepishly. "So, the uh…birds and bees..."

Michael smiled, wiggled his eyes and whispered. "Forget the birds and the bees. Let's talk horses instead..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maria found Ben pacing outside the ladies' restroom door. His eyes met Maria's in the most heartbreaking way. "She won't come out."

Maria patted his arm lightly. "Let me talk to her." She put her hand on the door to push it open when Ben's hand stopped her.

"How much…did they love each other?"

A half-smile touched Maria's lips. "Something tells me you already know the answer to that one."

Ben looked down at the floor, his handsome expression etched with pain. "Then tell me this...who let go first?"

Maria shrugged. "Honest? I think the jury's still out on that one, Counselor." She touched his arm gently. "Whatever happens, she'll be ok, Ben. She will. I'll make sure of it."

Pushing the door open, Maria stepped into the restroom and paused a moment to take a deep breath. Hearing a quiet sob from somewhere near the back, Maria headed toward the sound and stopped short when she saw Liz on a lounge her feet pulled beneath her and tears rolling down her face. Maria rushed to her side and wrapped an arm around her pulling Liz to her for comfort. "Shhh, hon. It's okay. It's going to be okay."

"No...it's...not..." Liz managed to say through her tears as she shook her head. "God, Maria. I thought...I promised myself..."

"I know." Maria replied softly as she smoothed back a piece of Liz's hair. "I know it's been hard to admit it to yourself, but Liz…it's time, you know? Time to think about the future you really want."

"I know…" Liz straightened and wiped her eyes.

Maria reached over and patted Liz's hand. "If you need me to help you figure out what to say to Ben…"

"Ben?" Liz looked at Maria incredulously. "What would I need to say to Ben?"

"Well…about Max." Maria sat back a moment studying Liz's expression and for the first time in years had the hardest time reading it. "You are going to tell him how you feel, right?"

"My feelings about what? Max and that…" Liz let out a hollow chuckle as she stood and walked over to the mirror, realizing for the first time just how hard it was for her to say Tess' name. She was not going to do this. She wasn't going to wallow in jealousy and self-pity.

Max made a choice a long time ago and their lives had changed because of it. There was no use wishing things were different. Because they weren't. There simply was no way she'd ever get that image of Max and Tess making love out of her mind. It was the reason she'd run for cover only moments before.

Snatching up a tissue before turning to face Maria, Liz force a smile on her face. "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking it's been such a long time since I've seen Max and that it's been easy for me to ignore how I really feel about him. That now that I've seen him again, I won't be able to deny that I still love him. That I've always loved him. That I always will. And that there's no chance of me ever having a life or finding any kind of real happiness with any one else."

Liz took a deep breath and raised her eyes to meet Maria's as she forced out the words her heart didn't feel. "Well, you're wrong. I love Ben and I belong with him. Max Evans is a blip on the screen of my life. When tonight is over he'll walk out the door and out of my life just like he did before. Everything will be back to normal and this night…will have never happened."

Maria sat in stunned silence for a moment. Blinking suddenly she rose from her seat. "Since when do you think I’m an idiot, Liz Parker? I mean, do you honestly believe that marriage to a Czechoslovakian has like sucked my brain cells into outer space? How can you stand there and lie to me like that?"

"I'm not lying to you, Maria…"

"You're right, Liz. You're not. You're lying to yourself." Maria stated with emphasis as she put her hands on Liz's shoulders. "Tell me something. If you don't love Max Evans, why the tears? Why run from the table like your heart was breaking?"

"It had nothing to do with Max." Liz stated weakly. Seeing the disbelief in Maria's eyes, her resolve strengthened. "It didn't! It was...Tess! She should have..." Liz paused frantically searching for a plausible reason why she'd catapulted herself out of her seat. "...she should have placed her own order!"

Maria's eyes widened in disblief. "So...let me get this straight." Maria crossed her arms in front of her and began to tap her foot impatiently. "You jumped up from the table and ran in here crying because Tess had Max order her dinner for her?"

Liz nodded lamely as she bit on her lower lip. Despite the seriousness of the moment, Maria's chuckle echoed through the room. "God, Liz. You are such a bad liar."

Liz rolled her eyes and groaned as she sank down on the sofa. When she spoke, her voice was small and vulnerable matching the haunted look in her eyes. "I didn't know...it would be...this hard, Maria. Just seeing her draping herself all over Max. I mean, I know they're together. It's just...she always knew how to push my buttons, you know?"

Leaning into Maria as Maria sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, Liz let out a sigh. "I can't let her win, Maria. I can't let her see how much Max being with her...hurts. God, it still hurts so much."

"Have you thought about why, Liz?" Maria asked softly.

Liz shook her head emphatically and straightened herself. "No. And you know what? I'm not going to, Maria." She turned to Maria and blinked back a few remaining tears as calmness and determination washed over her. "You know what I am going to do?"

"No, what?"

Liz's eyes shifted to the door. "I'm going to go out there and prove to everyone just how little power Max Evans still has on me. I'm going to show Tess Harding that nothing she says or does can hurt me any more. And I'm going to erase any doubts or questions that I'm sure Ben must be having right now. Max Evans almost ruined my life once. I will not let him do it again..."

With that, Liz squared her shoulders, pasted on a smile and headed for the door. Maria rolled her eyes and let out a breath. "Oh, boy. Here we go again..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tess took a shot then straightened and smiled to herself. She moved to the other side of the table and took another shot. Blowing on her fingers as if they were on fire, Tess let out a satisfied sigh. "Damn, I'm good."

"Yes, you are." A deep voice behind her spoke causing Tess to turn around quickly. Ben walked up to the table and picked a ball of the green surface. "And I'm not just talking about taking shots at a pool table..."

He placed the ball down again and moved to the other side of the table grabbing a stick as he went, Tess' eyes following his every move. He looked like he wanted to talk. Needed to talk, actually. Unsure of why he'd want to talk to her of all people, Tess tilted her hair to the side and regarded him through narrowing eyes. "I don't supposed you'd like to tell me what else you think I'm good at."

Ben shrugged then flashed a smile after he took a shot and made it. "I don't see why not. It's quite obvious to everyone involved in this little reunion we have going that you are very good at taking cheap shots at my fiance'. Why is that? Hummm? Is it simply out of habit? Because you really don't like her? Or...is it something more. Some other agenda that you might have."

A half smile tilted Tess' lips upward as she shrugged nonchalantly and watched him bend for his next shot. "There's never been any love loss between Liz and I. Ask anyone that knows us. Women vying for the attention of one man rarely become best friends."

"True." Ben agreed with a nod. His cue hit the ball and he watched it roll to its destination before his eyes flicked back to her face.
"Which is precisely why I'm confused."

Tess chuckled. "Confused? By what? Max's taste in women...or Liz's former taste in men?"

"Neither. I think anyone could tell I admire Max's taste given my soon-to-be marital status. As for Liz...well, I see for the first time... Let's just say that a lot of things are starting to make sense to me." Ben stood and moved to another position, took aim then sent the ball flying across the table. He walked toward her, his eyes leveled on her face gauging her reaction to his next words. "I guess I'm confused as to why you'd try so hard to make Liz jealous over a non-existent relationship."

Tess blinked. Recovering quickly, a slow smile spread over her lips. "Non-existent? And just what makes you think Max and I aren't together?"

"I've seen the way he looks at Liz."

Tess shrugged her shoulders trying to act as if Ben's words weren't ringing true. "So? They had a thing way back when. That doesn't mean..."

"And I've seen the way he looks at you." Ben interrupted as he leaned back against the table. "There's no contest."

Tess laughed nervously and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she focused on the table in front of her. "I guess there isn't between a high school crush and a lifetime love."

"You're right." Ben continued in a detached voice as if he didn't hear her, his logical lawyer's mind taking full reign as he began to build his case. "There's also no contest in the way he touches you. Or doesn't touch you, as the case may be. With Liz...it's instinctive, lingering, almost necessary for him to breathe. With you...he allows it. He doesn't initiate. Big difference there." Ben paused and reached out to tilt Tess' chin upward. "So, tell me, Tess Harding...why are you pretending to be his lifetime love?"

Tess turned her blue eyes up at him and smiled a disarming smile before admitting guilt by skirting the direct issue. "Very good, Counselor. So. How do you want to play this? Do you want me to go announce your discovery to Liz? I really don't see how that will help you win your case. You know, don't you, that Liz will choose him if she knows the truth."

As Ben looked away, Tess saw a flash of pain enter his blue-green eyes. She regretted her comment instantly. She'd never seen eyes that showed so much emotion with just a look before. For the second time tonight, Tess silently applauded Liz Parker on her choice. Ben was a good man. One that could make a girl happy...if not for Max.

Ben's lips turned upward into a half-smile as his eyes met hers. "Maybe you're right. And to tell you the truth...as long as Liz is happy, I believe I can let her go. But not if I can't be sure she'll be happy or that he really deserves her. So, I guess my real question is...does Max feel the same? If being happy means being with me, will *he* be willing to let Liz go...to walk away."

Tess' chuckle filled the room. She shook her head and smiled as she walked around the table, stick in hand. "You have no idea how far that man will go for Liz. The sacrifices he'll make. The pain he'll endure..."

"Then tell me."

Tess considered Ben's words a moment before she laid the stick down and crossed back over to him. "No. You tell me something, Ben. Why do you want a woman who loves another man?"

"It hasn't been established she still does." Ben answered evenly knowing deep in his heart he was wrong.

Tess' lips curled into a mischievous smile as her eyes began to twinkle. "Let's do something to change that."

"What are you suggesting?" A slender eyebrow raised.

"An exchange of sorts." Tess responded as she tossed her blonde hair behind her shoulders. "I show you Liz following her heart..."

"And?"

"And you follow your heart after that." Tess stated simply.

Ben smirked. "That's all?"

"That's it."

Considering her suggestion a moment, Ben's eyebrows furrowed in concentration. It sounded like some kind of trap. Like Tess knew something he didn't...which was most definitely the case since he hadn't even known Max's name till earlier that day. Fear of losing Liz rose then ebbed. Tess was right. Did he really want Liz if her heart belonged to someone else? The instant he asked the question he knew the answer. Ben returned his gaze to Tess and held out his hand. "What have I got to lose?"

Tess took his hand in hers and marvelled at the warmth that flowed through her. A slow smile lit her eyes as she looked back up at Ben and shook hands. "I guess we'll see, won't we...?"

"I guess we will." Ben agreed. "So. What's your plan?"

Tess grinned up at him, her blue eyes beginning to dance with schemes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking back to the table to rejoin the group, Tess' eyes fell on a booth situated across from their table. Her eyes locked with the hollow blue eyes of the man sitting there.

A thought instantly sprang into her mind. "Please, God. Don't let it be tonight. I have too much unfinished business..."

A shiver ran down her spine and she looked away quickly hoping that pain that suddenly shot through her stomach wasn't the beginning of her end...