~ chapter 11 ~

It was as if a spell had been cast over the table. Everyone at the table froze. Everyone except Ben, that is. He glanced around in confusion at the ripple of silent fear the man's words had caused and the look of recognition and anxiousness that jumped through Tess' eyes. His gaze moved to Max's pale face then to Liz. Whatever pain or conflict Max was enduring at that particular moment, it was all mirrored in Liz's eyes. It was as if she was living it with him…without knowing the source or the depth.

In was in that moment Ben realized just how truly connected these two people were. In a year and a half of knowing Liz Parker, there had only been one moment when Ben felt he could look into her soul and know what she was feeling. The night they met. The night he found her weeping on a park bench desperately trying to get over another man…over Max. Her emotions were too raw to be hidden. Her heart, broken and bleeding for all of the world to see.

He realized that it had been the last time he had truly seen the real Liz Parker. After that night, there had always been a wall that surrounded her heart. One that he could never completely reach through. And an emptiness in her eyes he'd never quite been able to fill no matter how many smiles she bestowed upon him or laughs they shared.

Not so with Max Evans. He hadn't just reached through her walls, he had demolished them with a look. And the emptiness in her eyes vanished like mist on a sunny day. In it's place were so many emotions Ben couldn't name. Feelings he'd never dreamed she could feel were shining in her eyes as she looked at Max. Maybe because after all this time, she'd finally found what she was looking for…her heart. Bruised, but not broken. Wounded, but still beating. Alive and full of a love that simply refused to die. That she'd found the one thing Ben had never been able to give her made complete sense because after all this time…she'd finally found Max Evans again.

Without thinking, Liz reached out and touched Max's hand across the table, breathing the quiet question "Max? What is it?" when she saw him pale visibly. Michael and Maria remained motionless after Michael wrapped his arm around Maria's shoulder when he felt her shiver against him.

Max swallowed hard. "Destiny."

Liz stiffened and tried to withdraw her hand as her gaze slipped over to Tess' face. She and Tess exchanged a glance and Liz's eyebrows furrowed with confusion when she saw the utter lack of hatred and possessive triumph in Tess' eyes. She looked frightened…and determined. It was as if Tess were trying to communicate something to her. Something she couldn't quite understand…

Tess had seen the exchange between Max and Liz and knew it wouldn't be long now. Their hearts were re-aligning with each other at such a rapid pace it wouldn't even have taken the rest of her plan and they would have been walking out of that restaurant hand-in-hand. If it hadn't been for that damn fortune cookie. And that man.

Another shiver ran through her. Was it really Nasedo? Had he really found them after all this time? And the fortune. Was it just coincidence? Or a warning? Either way, she wasn't going to let it get to her. And she sure as hell wasn't going to let it get to Max. She'd do everything in her power to keep his fear from ruling him this time…

As if coming to life when he felt the absence of Liz's touch when her hand slipped from his, Max instinctively reached out and grabbed her hand for strength before it had barely left his own. Looking around quickly his expression suddenly becoming anxious when he saw no sign of the man who had been there only moments before. "Where did he...? Did anyone see where he went?"

Previously entranced by the man's words and the hidden meaning he felt was waiting just for him, Max's voice wavered when he turned to Tess suddenly realizing the words she'd spoken. "Wait. Did you feel something? I mean, you must have. Just now. I heard you. Tess? You felt him, didn't you? That's why you said what you did…"

Swallowing back her fear, a nervous laugh was his answer before Tess forced a smile. "Feel something? Come on, Max. You almost sound as crazy as that guy did talking about destiny and death." Her eyes slid over to Ben's face then back to Max in a silent message. Once more donning her role as girlfriend, Tess leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I think we'll need to watch what you order from now on, dear. Certain foods seem to affect your sanity…"

Max looked at her in disbelief and started to shake his head in frustration and cast a glance in Michael and Maria's direction seeking silent help. Michael shrugged and Maria sat speechless, her eyes wide with confusion and twinged with fear. Max opened his mouth to say something when Tess turned to Ben suddenly. "So. Speaking of 'destiny'…the two of you." She indicated with a slight nod of her head toward Liz. "Was it love at first sight?"

Tess' question pulled Liz's eyes to Max who was suddenly diverted by Tess' direct question. Seeing a flash of pain waiting for her there in his eyes, she blinked quickly and pulled her hand away from Max uncomfortably. Maybe that had been a bit too strong. Noticing the sudden move, Tess amended her statement and turned to Ben. "I...I mean, how did you two meet?"

Ben shook his head. "I'm not really sure that's all that important right now…"

"Of course it is." Tess snapped. Realizing the harshness of her tone, she tilted her head to the side and smiled sweetly. "Please. We really want to hear it."

Ben leaned back and wrapped his arm around Liz's shoulder, more as a protective move than possessive. He began the story reluctantly. "Well, it was about a year and a half ago. I was taking a walk in the park and stumbled across this beautiful woman sitting on a park bench looking up at the stars in the sky."

He glanced over at Liz and saw her brow furrowed in worry. And was that fear he saw in her eyes? Or could it be that famous pain he'd seen all too often since that night? Feeling a sudden need to shield her from further injury, sensing the rest of the details would only bring additional pain especially here and now, Ben smiled and pulled her toward him then lied. "I asked if I could join her and we've been star gazing together ever since."

Liz breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God he didn't mention what other things she'd been doing when he found her that night in the park. Or the emotional state she was in. They had never spoken of it since that night, but it had been a profound turning point in Liz's life. It was the night she finally gave up all hope that Max Evans and she would ever be together again. In many ways, it was the night she died. She shot Ben a grateful smile that wasn't missed by Max or Tess.

Sensing a prime moment for another jab, Tess put her hand on Max's shoulder and leaned into him. "Must have been a real journal moment, huh, Liz?" Tess felt the muscles in Max's shoulder tense at the mention of Liz's journal. She knew it would hit a nerve…and by the look on Liz's face she'd completed her task. "At least that's the kind of stuff you used to write about wasn't it? Star gazing and rainbow dances..."

Max's mouth dropped open and his gaze shot to Liz's face just as her head snapped up at Tess' comment. Her hand flew to her mouth as she took a shaky breath her eyes moving from Tess to Max. Their eyes connected and for a moment they held each other captive speaking words neither of them had to strength to say. That journal had held so much information. Not just about who Max was but who Liz was when she was with Max. The bond they shared. The love that had blossomed between them. Every detail of their lives together…of that one special night…

Max saw the indescribable pain rip through Liz's eyes then turn to an instant film of tears. Her voice was shaking with accusation. "You...you told her? How could you have..."

Max shook his head emphatically and reached across the table for her hand. She shrunk back from him. Looking away for a moment he pulled his hand back to his lap then looked back into her eyes again willing her to see his sincerity. "No, Liz. I didn't. I swear. Liz, you've got to believe me..."

"Believe you? How else could she know?" Liz's voice was laced with pain. A sudden thought dawned on her and her eyes widened in understanding. "She saw didn't she? In a flash…"

"A flash?" Ben's voice broke through the tenseness of the moment.

Tears washed over each word. "You've…had…flashes with...her, Max?"

"NO!" Max emphatic denial exploded as he earnestly tried to explain. "It's not what you think. Liz, please…please let me explain…"

For the second time that evening, Liz's emotions were too much for her to handle. She shook her head and jumped up from the table. "There's nothing…to explain. What you do with your…" She cast an envious, hurt look in Tess' direction. She spit the next word out as if it were a curse. "…destiny is your choice."

"But…" Max began but Liz brushed past him a quiet sob echoing in his ears.

Max threw his napkin on the table and jumped up from his seat, turning to follow her. He got two steps and was stopped by the weight of a heavy hand on his shoulder. "Max. Let her go…"

Something in Max snapped. His fist balled up and when he swung around to face Ben, so did his fist. Connecting hard with Ben's face, Max let out a growl of frustration. Ben fell back a few steps and steadied himself. He touched his lower lip and looked down at his fingers to see the red liquid he could already taste in his mouth. Glancing back up at Max, he smiled wryly. "Feel better now? You've been aching to do that since the moment you laid eyes on me, haven't you?"

Max remained silent and motionless. His jaw was working fiercely to contain the anger, jealousy and self-loathing that was boiling inside and his fists clenched and unclenched by his side.

Ben shrugged. "I don't blame you. I've had the same urge since the second I heard her say your name." He reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a handkerchief to wipe his lip. "So, what do we do now? Stand here in a face off? Or are you going to let me go to her so I can give her what she needs?"

Max swallowed hard and blinked suddenly at the calmness of Ben's words. With Liz's tears playing over and over again in his mind, it only took a moment for him to hang his head and step to the side knowing that of the two of them Ben was what Liz needed right now. Who knows? Maybe he was what she needed for always…

As Ben brushed past him, Tess shook her head in disbelief. "What do you think you're doing, Max? Go after her. Explain everything. You're the one she wants right now…"

Max turned on Tess suddenly as anger flashed in his eyes. Grabbing her arm he gruffly pulled her up from her chair as he rose. "Enough. Come with me."

"But…Max…"

"NOW!" Max growled not letting her finish her protest. Instead he drug her out into the pool area and spun her around to face him. "What the hell did you do that for? After what happened earlier…I told you not to hurt her and that's all you've done tonight. How could you even do that? And what the hell is going on with that guy? I heard you, Tess. I heard you say Nasedo. Was that him? Was it??"

Tess blinked at Max's unexpected outburst. "Max…I…"

"No! You know what? Don't even try to lie to me right now. If Liz...if we're in danger, I need to know." He put his hands on her shoulders and bent to look in her eyes. "Tell me the truth, Tess. Was that Nasedo?"

"What the hell is going on?" Michael's voice sounded behind Max and Max whirled to face he and Maria.

"Nasedo..." Max answered tersely.

Everyone froze. For the second time that night, you could have heard a pin drop…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ironic, don't you think?"

Liz's head shot up at the familiar voice behind her. She quickly wiped her eyes as she felt him move to the side of the bench and face her, catching her in the act. "A year and a half ago, I found you sitting here on this very bench doing exactly what you're doing now. Looking up at the stars. Holding that same ring to your chest. And crying your heart out over another guy."

Liz sniffled and moved over to make room for him as Ben handed her a handkerchief. "Thanks…and I don't just mean for this." She held up the kerchief she'd just used to dab her eyes then turned to face him as she stuffed the ring Max had given her years ago back into its hiding place in her purse. "I mean for not saying anything. You know, back there at the restaurant about how we met…"

Her eyes widened when she saw the cut on his lip and the darkening skin that would be a bruise by tomorrow. Reaching out to touch the spot gingerly, she asked a question she already knew the answer to. "What…what happened?"

Ben chuckled. "Max happened."

"Max?" Liz's voice held a note of surprised awe. "But he's like the least violent person in the world."

"Apparently not when it comes to you." Ben answered quietly. "And about not giving all the details on how we met…well, there's no use adding to the pile of evidence in front of our eyes. It'd only help him win his case that much sooner." Ben shrugged then leaned against the back staring straight ahead of him. "Although, truth be known, it was won before I ever even met you."

Liz slowly turned her gaze from the brilliant sky to the face of the man she had planned to call 'husband'. Meeting his eyes briefly, she swallowed, crossed her arms in front of her and lowered her head reading in his expression the knowledge of what was in her heart. Still, she needed to hear it. Maybe a verbal acknowledgment would give her the courage to do what she should have done so long ago. "What...do you mean? What case?"

"The one that determines who gets the girl in the end." Ben stated evenly before turning to gaze to her. "So. He's the one. The one that's always stood between us...in that space between our hearts. The one you won't talk about but can't get out of your head...or your heart."

Liz nodded once and blinked back the tears that began forming in her eyes again. "He was my first love."

"Who are you kidding, Liz? He's your only love." Ben corrected with the unspoken words in he saw in her eyes then amended his statement when he saw her mouth open to protest. "I know you love me, Liz. I'm not questioning that. It's…just not the same."

A slight shake of his head and a sad smile accompanied his next words. "I'm your reliable comfy blanket. The one you can always count on. We have a good time together and share common interests but…he's your…" Ben looked back into her eyes. "…soul. The part that makes you whole. That fills you up. The part you can't live without and be truly happy. That night that I found you here, you were mourning him. The loss of him in your life. From what it looks like you still are. So is he."

Ben reached for her hand as a wistful look flitted across his face. "It was beautiful to see, you know? That love I've always looked for in your eyes...the instant connection that no one can deny. That radiance of being in love that washed all over you. I saw it today. For the first time ever. And it was when you were looking at Max."

Liz nodded her agreement and took a deep breath before meeting his eyes once more. "Ben, I'm sorry I didn't tell you..."

Ben shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't want to know, Liz. I mean, I knew there was someone else...someone I could never replace, but I didn't want to know his name or what he looked like. How you whispered his name like a prayer. And I certainly didn't want to know how your eyes light up when you look at him...how you're whole body comes alive somehow. You, Liz. You...come alive around him."

Liz's secret smile spread over her lips. "That's the way it always was with us…"

"Then what happened?" Ben asked quietly.

Liz shook her head her eyes began to brim with tears. "It's…really very…complicated."

"Not from what I've seen…"

Liz swallowed and wiped away a tear that had fallen. "Trust me, it is."

"If you're adding Tess to the mix of complications, I wouldn't. She and Max are no more together than Michael and Maria are separated."

Liz looked up in surprise. "What makes you think…"

"She as much as admitted it to me, Liz." Ben answered quietly. "I've spent years studying people. Observing them, reading reactions. I could tell something wasn't right with them."

"But that doesn't mean they aren't together. Maybe they're just having problems." Liz was trying desperately not to allow hope to flare up in her heart. What if what Ben was saying was true? What if they weren't together? What did it all mean? Did she and Max really still have a chance after all this time?

"You're right. But you know there's a difference in having problems and simply not being in love with each other. They play the part, Liz, but they aren't. In fact, she seemed rather eager to prove to me just how much you and Max still love each other."

"But that makes no sense." Liz said more to herself than to Ben before she let out a shaky sigh. Shaking her head clear of confusing thoughts, Liz fought back sudden tears. "It doesn't matter anyway. He has a destiny, Ben. And it's with her."

"Then who is yours with?"

His question caused Liz's gaze to move upward toward the night sky. "I thought I used to know…"

"You still do." Ben responded softly. "You just have to listen to your heart then follow it…wherever it leads."

Liz's head snapped to the side and her eyes blinked suddenly. "That's…what my grandmother told me to do." A smile touched her lips as she began to remember out loud. "She also said he wasn't a soulmate if it wasn’t complicated…"

"Sounds about right." Ben smiled wryly. "Come on, Liz. You know me. I don't believe in soulmates or destiny and fate the way some others do. I think destiny is a two-way street. On one hand, there is a destiny that chooses you. But on the other…well, you also have to be willing to choose that destiny back."

"What do you mean?"

"Take love, for instance. You can't choose it. Who you love. Why you love them. Or even when. But doing something about it…well, that's a choice. You can either reach out and embrace it…" Ben ran his thumb over the ring on her third finger. "…or you can let it go."

Liz nodded. "Is that what you're here to do? Let me go?"

Ben's eyes remained fixed on the ring. His ring of promise. Promises that meant nothing if given to someone whose heart belongs somewhere else. He rubbed it once more and smiled sadly. "I want what he has, Liz. I want to know what it's like to love someone with every part of me…and know they love me back the same way. I want to know that no one can ever take my place in someone's heart. To find my soulmate."

"But I thought you didn't believe in soulmates."

Ben shrugged and looked away. "What can I say? You and Max made me a believer tonight. Besides, I think I deserve to feel the most amazing feeling in the world too." Looking back at her, Ben winked with a smile. "Only I think I need to find my own 'Liz' to feel it with."

Liz sniffed back the tears that she couldn't stop from falling as she reached up and touched Ben's face. "You do deserve it. And you'll find her. I know you will…"

Ben smiled through his own film of tears and swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat as he watched her slip his ring off her finger. She held it for a moment lost in thought before she handed it to him. "We were good together."

"Yeah." Ben breathed quietly as he took the ring from her and looked up into her eyes. "But we weren't the best." He slipped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him for one last hug. "That's still to come." Liz nodded against his shoulder as she hugged him back. He patted her back and pulled away forcing a smile onto his face. "Now. What are you still doing here?"

Liz smiled back at him, a new sense of peace having washed over her. She wiped a tear away as her gaze drifted across the street to the restaurant she's run from only a short while ago. The feel of Ben's hand on hers brought her eyes back to his. He inclined his head toward the restaurant. "Go. Find your heart. Fight for it if you have to, but whatever you do, don't let go. It only comes around once in a life…"

Liz stood with a nod. Leaning down she quickly kissed Ben on the cheek and whispered a quiet "Thank you" then turned and walked toward the direction of her destiny…whatever that may be.