An hour later, Liz lay still awake in her bed. The tears were gone, but the memory of them still marred her thoughts, the backlash still evident on her face through her bloodshot eyes and puffy cheeks.
Numb from the pain in her heart, Liz kept her eyes glued to a single spot on the ceiling, begging silently for exhaustion to hit her and sleep to come, desperate for the day to end. That was how her life had been lately…just a series of motions…moving from school to work, from work to homework, from homework to bed…just trying to get from one place to the next without facing the pain…without feeling any emotion.
Liz wasn't sure how much longer she could go on like that…how she could stay so void of life.
A rustling near the window quickly pulled Liz's attention away from her spot on the ceiling. Clutching the blankets tighter around her for comfort, if not safety, Liz watched as the previously locked window slowly inched upwards, and a figure appeared in the window.
For a moment, Liz's heart pounded with fear, and she almost panicked and screamed…until she recognized the figure crawling into her bedroom. Her fear instantly eased…but Max Evan's form did nothing but worsen the pain in her heart.
"You scared me half to death." Liz grumbled, peering up at Max from the bed.
"I'm sorry." Max replied quickly, taking a step towards her before recognizing the pained, distant look in Liz's eyes, and taking note of the evidence of her emotional breakdown.
"What are you doing here at two in the morning anyway?" Liz mumbled, rolling over so that she was facing away from Max.
"I couldn't sleep." Max admitted softly. "And I wanted to see you. I'm sorry, I didn't expect you to be awake."
"So you were just going to watch me sleep?" Liz asked incredulously.
"Yeah…I guess…I don't know." Max stammered. "I just wanted to see you, Liz. I miss you."
Max's words tore right into Liz's heart. Unable to fight him anymore, she rolled back over to face him, and met his pained eyes for the first time.
"What's happened to us, Liz?" Max whispered so softly, it was almost inaudible. He sounded so broken that it brought tears stinging right back into Liz's eyes.
"We let her beat us." He sighed. "I mean, look at us. We're not even living." Max paused, closing his eyes wistfully before continuing. "It didn't have to be this way. She took so much from us when she left…but she hadn't won yet. We were still here…we were still living. We had a chance then to take our lives back…but we've let that chance slip away, Liz, and now look at us. We're just…empty."
"I know." Liz whispered, blinking back the tears in a desperate attempt to keep her emotions at bay.
Max searched her face, surprised by her agreement. Ever since that day in May, every time Max had tried to connect to Liz in any way or another, her emotions either completely shut down, or she got extremely angry with him, fighting every word he said. In two months she hadn't once agreed with him like this.
Taking a deep breath, Max summoned his courage and pushed a little further.
"Can we ever go back, Liz?" Max asked carefully. "Could we ever get back everything we lost?"
There was a long moment of silence. Max's heart was pounding nervously. He'd already gotten closer to Liz's heart already tonight than he had in months…and he knew that this moment held the possibility of becoming a turning point for them. Whatever Liz answered could determine their entire future together. Sucking in his breath and holding it anxiously, Max waited until Liz began to speak.
"I don't know." Liz finally responded. "I wish we could go back more than anything in the world, Max…but I don't know if it's possible. I don't know if I can get past all that has happened."
Max nodded, accepting her honest answer. "I guess I just wanted to know if there was any chance at all." Pausing, Max's face slipped into a slight half smile, his lips barely curling up at the very ends. "And there is." He murmured, searching Liz's eyes for her reaction.
Liz's eyes widened in surprise. "How can you be so sure?"
"Because you said you wish that we could go back." Max explained. "And that's the first step…admitting that you want to. Thank you, Liz." Max murmured. "Goodnight."
Turning away from her, Max crawled back out the window, softly shutting it behind him.
Liz watched his every movement, until he disappeared over the edge of the balcony, before sighing wistfully and whispering her soft response.
"Goodnight Max."
