Part 2

Max stared out the window of the subway car as it traveled underneath New York City. He glanced at Charlie standing across from him and saw his friend meet his gaze, trying to give him a reassuring smile. Charlie hadn’t had much information, just saying that he and Beth had been rehearsing when she’d fallen. Probably torn a muscle or tendon, Max thought absently. Beth was the same age as him, twenty-six, which was almost ancient for a ballerina. Max knew how hard she worked, how much she loved to dance. How she’d sacrificed so much to be the world famous dancer that she was. He did wonder how long she would be able to be that famous dancer.

He’d healed her muscle and tendon strains before, knowing that dancing was Beth’s life. Ever since he’d watched her practicing on the rooftop of their apartment building when they were ten years old, he’d known. And he could never deny her help when she asked. He couldn’t deny her anything when she looked at him with her wide green eyes. He shook his head and turned his attention to the wall of the subway car. A poster was stuck to the side and when one of the passengers moved to the side he caught a better glimpse of the photo and caption.

It was a picture of Beth and Charlie from when they’d danced Romeo and Juliet for the New York City Ballet that season. Max studied the way she looked, so tall and slender, and her blonde hair tucked up into a bun. She was balanced on the toes of her right foot and Max tried not to wince at the sight. He never did understand how she could perform the amazing ballet moves that she did. Beth’s arms were extended towards Charlie, who was kneeling down and gazing up at her with rapt attention. Beth and Charlie had met years ago, when she’d arrived at the academy as a student and he’d been in the Corps of the company. They’d become instant friends and perfect dance partners. Charles Sims and Beth Guerin were popularly thought to be the best ballet dance couple in the world.

Charlie caught his friend looking at the poster and grinned.

"Don’t let Beth see you staring at that poster, she’ll make you come to the performance this weekend. Again," Charlie reminded him. Max returned the grin, Beth might be surprised to know how often he came to see her dance. Sometimes he didn’t even tell her he was there. Sometimes he just came and watched her move gracefully across the stage and left quietly after the performance.

"What’s it like? To be half of the best dancing couple in the world?" Max asked, suddenly curious about Charlie’s answer. Charlie smiled and didn’t even pause before answering.

"People only think that because they’ve never seen me and Jody dance professionally," Charlie commented. Max smiled knowingly and fell silent. Jody Sawyer was Charlie’s girlfriend, who he’d attended the academy with, but she now danced with an alternative company in lower Manhattan. Jody was also Beth’s roommate and best friend. It had been through Beth that Max had met Jody and then met Charlie. They’d all become friends and when Max had began looking for a roommate to live with, Charlie had been an easy and obvious choice.

The four of them went out as a group often, but sometimes Max found it hard to be around Charlie and Jody. Charlie adored Jody and anyone could tell by the way he looked at her and by how his arm around her was both protective and possessive. Max sighed and stared out the window into the dark tunnel. There’d been a time when he’d been allowed to look at Beth with the same adoration, and when his touch would elicit the same response from Beth.

Roswell, New Mexico
May 20, 2021

"Max, I’m going to go check my coat. I’ll be right back," Beth said, gently releasing Max’s arm as she started to pull away. He nodded and she leaned forward, giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek. Grinning, he turned his head quickly and captured her mouth with his own, surprising her with a kiss that stole her breath. His lips brushed over hers gently until she reluctantly pulled back and smiled at him before wordlessly walking towards the coat room. It had been a cool night, but inside the ballroom the air was much warmer. Max smiled to himself as he waited for Beth to come back.

He nodded and waved to people he knew as they passed by, heading to the dance floor or to get their pictures taken. It was weird to think that in just a few months he’d be thousands of miles away from the same people he’d grown up with since he was ten years old. He, Beth, Mike and Belle were graduating from high school in two weeks. He had been accepted to Berkley in California months ago. They’d taken one look at his grades and test scores and practically begged him to come. Max still remembered the proud gazes of his parents when he’s shown them the letter. They’d always urged him to follow his dreams.

He was going to California. And Beth was going with him.

Beth had been so excited for him when he’d gotten the letter, but he’d hesitated, wondering what it meant for them. They’d been together as long as anyone could remember. Always as friends, but when they’d grown older they’d always been together, more than friends. Beth was Max’s first in every sense of the word. His first kiss, his first trip to second base, then third base. His first and only love and the first woman he’d ever made love to. They’d been together in every way imaginable and Max didn’t know who he was without her.

So, when she’d announced she was going with him to San Francisco, he’d been both thrilled and instantly worried about what it meant for her dancing. Beth had been quick to reassure him that she planned to audition for the San Francisco Ballet. Max had scoffed, wondering why she needed an audition in the first place. He was perplexed why anyone questioned Beth’s talent as a dancer. She merely crawled into his lap, cradling his chin in her hands as she kissed him gratefully, explaining that major ballet companies didn’t do much recruiting in small towns like Roswell.

Max smiled as Beth slid across the floor gracefully, her eyes half closed as she moved to the music playing in the background. He loved how she couldn’t quite seem to stand still whenever there was music playing, how she was compelled to dance. She wore a pale blue dress that draped to the floor and her blonde hair was free, floating in gentle curls down her back. He’d been itching to bury his hands in her hair since he’d gone to pick her up a few hours before. When she came up and snuggled into his embrace, he indulged the urge, testing the thickness of her hair with his hands. She grinned up at him, still shorter than him slightly. Beth gripped the lapels of his tuxedo jacket loosely, pulling him towards the dance floor with a raised eyebrow.

When she fell against him he closed his eyes in contentment. He was by no means the skilled dancer Beth was, but they fit well together. It was only their first dance of the evening, and Max intended to enjoy the entire night. Once in awhile he thought he caught Beth looking sadly away from him and he frowned, wondering why. When she saw him looking at her face would instantly brighten and he assumed she was just feeling nostalgic about high school ending.

They were coming up from having their pictures taken when Max collided with his cousin and Mike, moving towards the dance floor. Max grinned at Belle, who had her arm firmly hooked through Mike’s. And Mike noticed the way Max was holding his twin sister with a careful glance. There was no one else he would ever even dream could take care of Beth like Max could.

Mike glanced at Belle and she nodded. He moved towards Beth and bowed low, extending his hands towards her. Beth giggled looked up at Max, who shook his head at Mike. Always the joker, he thought, and somehow always knowing how to make his sister magically laugh.

"May I have this dance?" Mike asked, his tone serious. Beth’s face turned calm and she took his hand, curtsying before she followed him to the dance floor.

"Of course you may."

Max watched them go for a minute, then turned to his cousin, extending his elbow to her. She grinned and took it, following him to the other side of the crowd. Max lost sight of Beth and Mike in the throng of people and he turned his attention to Belle.

"You look beautiful tonight Belle," he commented. She blushed and smiled.

"Thanks Max. I don’t know what I’m going to do with you so far away in San Francisco," she suddenly admitted. Max blinked in surprise.

"Where did that come from?" he asked, genuinely concerned. They’d all known of his plans for months.

"I was just thinking about how I’ll be so lonely in Los Angeles, trying to be an actress, you’ll be in San Francisco with Beth and Mike’s going to be somewhere else entirely," Belle said sorrowfully. Max caught her chin in his hands.

"Mike loves you Belle, he’ll be there for you whenever you need him. And so will Beth and I," he replied, hugging her close. He heard her sigh out loud.

"I know. And it’s different for us. We’re not like you and Beth. He can’t make the kind of sacrifice that Beth did," Belle said, her words muffled. Max almost missed her words until his mind latched onto the last part of her statement. He pulled back and examined Belle closely.

"Wait. What do you mean ‘the kind of sacrifice that Beth did’? What are you talking about?" Max asked, clearly puzzled. Belle paled at his words and covered her mouth with her hand.

"You didn’t know? Beth didn’t tell you?" Belle managed to say, her voice sounding low and choked. He shook his head and he waited for what seemed like an eternity for Belle to tell him what Beth had done. Every muscle was tense in his body as he waited.

"Beth had an audition last month for the New York City Ballet Academy. They called her a few days ago and told her she got in. Max, she turned them down to go with you to Berkley," Belle replied, her words soft.

"I’m sorry, I thought she told you."

Max shook his head, dumbfounded as he sought out Beth and Mike on the dance floor. He finally saw them, laughing as Mike spun his sister around and back to him. Max felt as though he had tunnel vision as he manuvered through the dancing couples to get to Beth. She seemed to sense him coming and she looked up, the laughter fading from her face as she saw the concern and pain in his eyes. She knew without asking that somehow he’d found out what she’d done. Hiding against Mike’s shoulder for a second, she finally sighed and pulled away from her brother, walking towards Max. Mike looked confused until Belle walked up and pulled him away.

Beth reached Max, but she was careful not to touch him. She’d never seen him look so sad, so angry at the same time. And underneath all that she saw him looking at her with such love, she thought her heart would break.

"Max, don’t look at me like that," she whispered, unable to meet his eyes. They were still surrounded with couples dancing, but no one was paying attention to them.

"Why? Why did you say no? The New York City Ballet is your dream. Bethie, it’s been your dream as long as I can remember," Max said, struggling not to let his voice crack. Beth shook her head vehemently, feeling the tears threatening to spill over.

"No! Max, ballet is not my dream! You are my dream! To have the kind of love that we have, that our parents have, that is my dream!" she replied, unable to stop the tears from falling. She wiped at her cheeks, knowing that her tears would only cause Max more pain.

"I know. It’s my dream too. But you can’t give up on what you love, just to follow me. That’s not you, and I couldn’t live with myself if you gave it up for me," Max said hoarsely. Beth finally looked up with him, her green eyes pleading.

"Not just for you Max, for us! I want to be with you," she replied.

"But can you honestly say that you wouldn’t regret it? I mean, isn’t there at least a part of you that would? Maybe not now, but someday?" he asked. When she paused and didn’t answer he trudged on, even though he felt as though his heart was breaking in two.

"God, Bethie, I don’t want you to go, purely because I don’t know how to live without your beautiful smile, the way you make me a whole person. We’ve never been apart, practically since the moment we were born. I don’t want you to go, but I know you have to."

Beth felt the tears streaming down her face as she didn’t say a word, the logical part of her mind acknowledging that he was right. But her heart was screaming at her that he was wrong, that she couldn’t leave him ever. They were both silent as the song that had been playing stopped and a new one began. She finally looked up and caught Max’s dark eyes with hers. She almost gasped out loud, his eyes were so dark and fathomless she felt like he could swallow her whole. And the way he was drinking her in, as if he were trying to memorize how she looked, she felt her eyes brimming with more tears.

Before she had the opportunity to even think about it, she flung herself into Max’s arms. He automatically embraced her, his hands resting behind her neck and low on her back. She circled his neck with her arms, wanting to feel his breath against her face. As he felt Beth’s chest heave with uncried tears he struggled not to fall to his knees and beg her not to go.

Max knew it would be the hardest thing to do, to let her pursue what he knew was her dream. He knew that she loved him, but she also loved to dance. She might never have the same opportunity and sometimes he knew you had to choose what was the right decision for life at the time. And he knew that however stubborn Beth might be, she knew he was right.

He wanted to say something to her, reassure her that things wouldn’t change, that they’d always be together.

But he didn’t know.

All he knew was that he loved her, and that she had to do this. And he knew that she loved him and that she was suddenly as uncertain as he was about their future.

Beth clung to Max, not wanting to whisper a word. She could sense his sadness, but also how proud he was of her.

And how much he loved her.

She never doubted it, but it was that love that convinced her that she had to go. If for no other reason, because Max saw how important dancing was to her and he knew she had to go. Because he knew her better than she knew herself.

But the thought of being away from him was almost too hard to bear. She didn’t know if she would be able to survive without him.

Beth knew she was crying, she could feel the wet fabric of Max’s tuxedo under her cheek. She could already feel things changing, things moving apart. She clung to Max tighter, not wanting to let things change yet.

Even if their future together was different, and she had a feeling it would be, they did have this last night together.

Max was stroking her hair when she finally looked up at him, not caring that her makeup was probably streaked and her eyes red from crying. His eyes were gentle and sad as he gazed at her.

As the song slowed down, Max bent his head down and kissed her lips. It was almost a chaste kiss, but she felt his lips trembling under hers and she leaned in, wanting to feel all of him. She felt him choke and shudder, pulling reluctantly away from her mouth.

Then he crushed her against him again. She heard him cry against her ear and how his arms lifted her off the floor, feeling as though she weren’t close enough. She let him hold her and she closed her eyes, embedding the memory of Max Parker Evans’ arms around her. What it felt like, what he smelled like. How his emotions rolled off him in waves.

Because she didn’t know when the next time he would hold her would be.

When he finally pulled back and cradled her face in his hands and looked her in the eyes, she saw the tears on his face and how he ignored that they were there. Somehow he managed to smile at her and kiss her again, lightly this time.

"I love you," Max whispered. Beth returned his smile and stroked his face.

"I know. I love you too, Max."

New York City
December 12, 2029

"Max, it’s our stop," Charlie said, shaking Max’s shoulder gently. Max looked up in surprise and nodded. He’d been lost in thought, remembering about Beth. About the last time they’d been together as a couple. As he followed Charlie up the steps to the New York streets he let his mind wander some more.

He knew that things didn’t have to end the way they had. He’d gone to Berkeley and spent the next four years engrossed in his studies. And Beth launched herself into the demanding career of a professional dancer. School became his life with Beth absent and the distance between them was only bearable if he didn’t think about her.

They stayed friends, catching up during the holiday vacations and whenever they could make it home for visits. And friends was the only way Max could deal with Beth when he saw her three times a year for such a short time. If he let himself love her as much as he did and wanted to, he knew he’d go insane.

Max knew his mother and Beth’s mother thought they were kidding themselves. It was a popular conversation around the café, according to his father. They were certain it would be only a matter of time before he and Beth would come to their senses.

Four years after he left Roswell Max entered medical school and only two years after that he was done. His amazing progress did not go unnoticed and he was quickly offered a resident position at Bellevue Hospital in New York City. He’d hesitated at first, unable to gauge what it would be like to be around Beth again, after six years.

In the end, the position had been perfect and he’d gone. Beth had been thrilled to see him, treating him as though he were a long lost friend. And Max had accepted it, not wanting to lose her as his friend if he couldn’t have her as more. That was two years ago.

Charlie led him through the halls of the Ballet Academy and towards the rehearsal rooms and dressing rooms near the stages. They came to a stop next to a closed door and Charlie knocked lightly twice before entering. Max followed him and felt his heart clench at the sight in front of him.

Beth was lying on the couch in the room, her foot propped up on the edge and surrounded by ice and bandages. She looked pale and her hair had fallen from its bun around her head. The blond ringlets framed her face and when she turned her head anxiously to see who it was, Max felt his blood rush at how her green eyes warmed at the sight of him and she smiled.

He strode over to her, immediately kneeling down next to her. He leaned closer and kissed her forehead gently, giving into an impulse that he was normally able to keep buried. His "no touching Beth" rule was one he tried to keep in check at all times. But not when she was hurt and sad, looking at him as if he were the only one who could help her.

"Max."