Somewhere in the background Max heard the faint sound of knocking. He tried to ignore it, he was much too comfortable with the blankets around him and Liz wrapped up next to his side. The sound grew more and more insistent until it finally halted. Max smiled and turned his head, burying his face in Liz’s hair and returning to a welcome sleep. Only Maria’s loud voice broke through the haze.
“Mrs. Evans!! What a surprise,” Maria practically yelled, her voice putting extra emphasis on each individual word. Max’s eyes popped open and he cursed silently. He racked his brain and could come up with no easy answer as to why Liz Parker, his girlfriend, was sleeping with him in his bed. No easy answer that his own mother would accept anyway. Max sat up quietly and listened to their voices, just down the hall.
“Maria, I told you, please call me Diane. I just wanted to come up and let you kids know that Jeff and Nancy are bringing Isabel and Alex upstairs right now. I also wanted to check on Max and see how he’s doing,” Diane started. Max’s eyes grew wide as he looked at Liz, still oblivious to the world. He leaned over and started to gently shake her shoulder.
“NO!! I mean, um, Max is still sleeping Mrs.--Diane. We probably shouldn’t wake him,” Maria suggested, trying to make her suggestion sound casual. Max finally succeeded in rousing Liz, who looked at him curiously until she heard his mother’s voice in the next room. Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth with surprise. He looked into her eyes and knew that she understood how bad things would look if they were discovered together. She slipped out of bed quietly and followed him to the adjoining bathroom. Liz stepped into the bathroom and switched off the light, pulling the door closed with a soft click. She bit her bottom lip nervously as she pressed her ear up against the wood door. She could just barely make out the muffled sounds of Maria’s and Diane’s voices.
“I think I’ll just poke my head in and--Max! Maria said you were still sleeping,” Diane said as Max came around the corner from the room. He resisted the urge to look behind him and make sure Liz was not noticeable in the bathroom. Maria’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as she looked around Max and her eyes met his, questioning him about Liz’s whereabouts. Max merely nodded at his mother and she came closer, enveloping him in a hug. He stiffened a little; suddenly realizing she might be able to smell Liz’s perfume on his clothes. He didn’t mind her lingering smell on his shirt, but he thought his mother might be curious why he smelled faintly of roses. When she pulled back he looked at her carefully and her soft smile reassured him that she didn’t suspect anything.
“Did you sleep well, honey?” Diane asked brightly. Max nodded, trying to steer his mother further away from the bedroom.
“Yeah, it felt good to rest. Did I hear you say Isabel and Alex are coming back?” he asked. “
Yes, the hospital released Alex with strict instructions to rest. So you kids need to keep it low key. It’s after nine now, but I imagine with all the resting you’ve been doing, the six of you will be up until Christmas morning! “ Diane commented. Maria grinned from where she stood next to Diane.
“We might be,” Max admitted with a smile. Diane patted her son’s arm.
“That’s fine, you all deserve a little fun after the past day. Your parents, on the other hand, are going to retire for the night. Honey, where is Liz?” Diane asked, suddenly realizing that she was no where to be found. Max froze for a second.
“Liz, well, she uh, went downstairs to see if any restaurants would be open to get some food,” Max said, hoping his mother would buy the story. He knew that she probably would, he never lied to his mother and she had no reason to be suspicious or doubt him. And, strangely enough, he didn’t really feel too guilty about lying to her at that moment. He just knew that his and Liz’s parents wouldn’t understand that them sleeping together was merely that. They would jump to conclusions that any normal teenager’s parents would. Max smiled to himself, knowing that he, Liz and their friends were not normal teenagers.
Diane was nodding as the door to the suite swung open and Jeff walked in, holding the door open for Alex and Isabel. Alex came through first, making his way slowly on a pair of crutches. Isabel followed closely behind, watching him carefully with concern etched on her face. Max was pleased with Isabel’s concern over Alex, it was about time she directed her attention to him, he thought. She’d been enough of a mother hen over him and Michael for the past ten years and it was nice not to be the object of her scrutiny. Nancy followed the group, holding a bag of food and prescriptions. When Alex finally got inside the doorway he stopped and held up a hand.
“I’m back! Anyone miss me?” he asked. When no response came right away, his face fell, looking slightly wounded until Maria laughed and came forward, ruffling his hair affectionately.
“Of course we missed you, Alex! We were completely lost without you! The sun stopped shining, the earth halted in its rotation and the moon fell out of the sky!” Maria said, her eyes shining. Alex shot her a tired look.
“Okay, that’s enough DeLuca. At least Isabel came to the hospital with me,” Alex said, turning to look at her. Isabel’s smile shined at him and he reached out for her hand, which she eagerly took. Diane took note of this, her eyebrow raised in surprise.
“Alex, why don’t we get you comfortable on the couch?” Nancy suggested. Isabel moved quickly, gathering up the pillows on the couch to make it more comfortable and Alex hobbled over, carefully sitting down. Nancy gave Maria the bags and instructions for Alex’s medication while Michael finally appeared, bringing some extra pillows and blankets from the room on the other side.
“Will you six be okay tonight?” Nancy asked, still a little concerned after all that had happened. The five of them nodded emphatically, which seemed to reassure Liz’s mom. Finally the parents left and Max let out a sigh of relief. He turned to open the door so Liz could come out and heard Isabel’s voice in the background.
“Where’s Liz?” she asked. Maria gave a short laugh.
“You know Max and Liz, they were sleeping when your mom came in and Max had to hide her,” Maria replied. Isabel laughed out loud as Max returned, Liz standing next to him, a sheepish grin on her face.
“I knew this could get to be a problem,” Isabel warned. Max just shrugged, he really didn’t care that his friends knew and nobody, not even his parents, was going to keep him away from Liz. Everyone fell silent for a minute before Michael spoke up.
“Is anyone actually tired?” he asked. Heads shook all around, they had all been sleeping or resting all afternoon after the lack of sleep from the night before. Liz’s eyes lit up as she thought of an idea.
“It’s Christmas Eve, we should bring all the pillows and blankets from the rooms and have a party in here, a nice quiet party. Don’t get any ideas, Alex, you aren’t moving from that couch. I’m sure there are some great Christmas movies on TV,” she suggested. Maria looked through the bags Nancy had left.
“Liz, your mom sure knew what we would want. Dinner, candy, and lots of chocolate!” Maria exclaimed. For just a few minutes the group scattered until they met back in the large living room. Max and Michael pushed the coffee table off to the side and they piled all the blankets and pillows into a pile on the floor in front of the couch where Alex was situated. For awhile they all talked over the TV, animated and thrilled to be back together in a group. Alex entertained them with stories of his short stay in the hospital and all the fuss he’d gotten over a simple broken leg. When the chocolate ran out, Liz stood and walked to the kitchen, looking through the grocery bag for more food. After a few minutes she returned with a plate of nachos, and a bottle of Tabasco sauce.
“You read my mind,” Isabel murmured, reaching for the bottle. Liz grinned; pleased at the friendship she and Maria had managed to build with Isabel. Liz sat down cross-legged next to Max on some of the makeshift sleeping bags on the floor. He was stretched out behind her and she barely resisted the urge not to lean back into his arms. Although they were a couple in every way, they were both still feeling out the way to act with each other in public. Liz smiled to herself, they had no trouble with one another when they were alone, but Liz didn’t want to make Max uncomfortable. She just knew that every time she saw him she felt like she needed to touch him, needed to have him nearby in at least some little way. Liz moved around and leaned back against the couch, still close enough to Max that they were touching, but farther away than she would have liked. Maria returned from the room next door, holding a few bottles of nail polish in each hand. She held them out for Isabel’s inspection.
“Okay, our choices are Guava Berry, Ruby Red, Apple Green or Cranberry Grape,” Maria listed off. Alex looked slightly confused.
“Are you talking about fruit punch or something else?” he asked, genuinely perplexed. Maria rolled her eyes and sat next to Isabel, who chose the Cranberry Grape shade. She shook the bottle in her right hand until Alex stopped her and took it from her fingers. Before Isabel could say a word, he took her hand and carefully began to paint her fingernails. Michael literally stopped chewing in mid bite at the sight.
“Alex, man, you, me and Max need to spend some serious quality time together,” he said wryly. Liz and Maria smiled knowingly at each other.
“Alex is the best at nail polish. You should see him with makeup,” Liz said.
“Hopefully not on,” Max replied in a low voice. Alex just pointed the small brush at the guys.
“Don’t knock it until you reap the benefits. This kind of stuff makes you very popular with the ladies,” he said. Isabel started to giggle and soon Liz and Maria joined in, followed by Max and Michael continuing to shake their heads. Liz examined her own nails and decided not to paint them. She drew her knees up under her chin and focused her attention on the TV, where How the Grinch Stole Christmas was playing. The group had grown quiet, with Maria and Michael curled up against one another and Isabel leaning against the couch, her hand loosely intertwined with Alex’s. So involved in the movie was Liz that she didn’t notice Max moving closer until he had settled against her. She relaxed as she felt his warmth against her and caught her breath as he moved to lean back against her, sitting between her legs. She started to breathe normally again as he slouched down, the back of his head resting against her stomach. She stretched her legs out and when his hand came to rest on her knee her skin practically tingled.
Liz couldn’t stop the silly grin from spreading over her face. Max had come to her; he was making the boundaries and the rules. She knew that was what he needed to make things work between him and she had been so careful about trying to give him that. It just turned out that he wanted the exact same things that she did. And he’d moved without a question or a word. It was like he knew her every thought and he knew exactly what she wanted because it was what she did too. One of her hands lay loosely on his shoulder while the other came to rest on his head, playing with his hair absentmindedly. It was so soft, and very short. She couldn’t even wrap a strand around her finger because it was cut so close to his head. Liz was so involved with the feeling of Max’s hair that she didn’t even realize what her hands were doing to him.
Max shifted a little against Liz, not wanting his weight to be uncomfortable. She didn’t seem to mind and he loved the soft feel of her behind him. Like the most perfect pillow he could ever dream of. Her hand in his hair became very distracting as her fingers played against his scalp and stroked gently at his hair. Her hand finally stilled and Max turned his head to look at her. She looked back at him hesitantly.
“What is it Liz?” he asked. She reached next to her and he saw a hardbound book in her hand. He was confused until she opened it and he saw pages and pages of writing, all in her hand. He knew, even though he’d never examined the book closely before, that it was her journal. He couldn’t keep the curiosity off his face. Ever since Liz had admitted to him that she kept a journal containing all the events that had happened to her, he’d wondered what part he played in the book. And ever since she’d revealed that it held her innermost thoughts, including how she saw him, he had wanted to read it. But he also knew that her journal was just for Liz to read and he respected that, hoping that one day she would at least share with him some of the thoughts she’d had while she wrote it. She cleared her throat before concentrating back on him.
“I know we never really decided on any gift giving ideas for Christmas, but I’ve wanted to give you something for the longest time and this seems like a good time. I want you to read my journal,” she said, holding it out to him. He took it carefully, feeling the ridges of the leather on the outside and the curve of the bind. It was with a reverent touch that he examined the cover, which was dark, and without any markings.
I don’t want you to feel like you have to share this with me,” he replied. Liz smiled at him gently.
“Max, I know probably the biggest secret about you. And I know exactly how you see me. I want you to know how I see you and I want you to know my secrets. Granted they aren’t as big as yours was, but they make for pretty good reading,” she joked lightly. Max nodded and opened the cover of her journal, the spine crackling a little as he turned to the first page. He was about to start reading when he stopped.
“Could you read it to me? They’re your words and they should be spoken in your voice,” he said. Liz nodded slowly and leaned a little closer as he held the book open for her. When she started to read he felt his heart speed up, knowing what gift she was giving him.
September 23rd. Journal Entry #1. I’m Liz Parker and five days ago I died. After that, things got really interesting.
I could feel everything he was feeling. I could feel his loneliness. For the first time I was really seeing Max Evans. I saw me as he saw me. And the amazing thing was, in his eyes I was beautiful.
It’s September 24th. I’m Liz Parker and five days ago I died. But then a really amazing thing happened: I came to life.
Max listened as Liz read, he listened to the inflections of her voice, and how it rose and fell and what words she emphasized. He listened as her voice grew soft and then loud again as she traced the path that had brought them to where they were now.
It’s October 19th. I’m Liz Parker and this is what I’ve been thinking: Can life ever go back to normal?
Part of me wants safety, wants to go back to how things were, to a life that I could predict where I know how life is going to be. And the other part of me wants to go somewhere else, into the unknown.
Max realized what time period Liz was reading about and he looked at her carefully. He knew that Liz had been writing about when her grandmother had died. Since that day in the hospital he knew that Liz thought of her grandmother often and tried to remember the advice she had given her. And he knew how hard it had been for her.
The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention. That sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn’t be, places that are as scary as they are exciting, and as dangerous as they are alluring. And sometimes your heart takes you to places that can never lead to a happy ending.
And that’s not even the difficult part. The difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave normal, you go into the unknown. And once you do, you can never go back.
Max squeezed her hand gently and when she returned the pressure he caught her eyes with his. He saw the pain there, but he also saw her strength, the same strength she’d used to get through her grandmother’s death and the same strength she used to help him through everything that had happened. As she continued to read, Max heard her words and each one was like a secret. A part of Liz that he had not known, though he suspected what was behind her big brown eyes.
Have you ever had a moment when you’re with the one person in the world you want to be with and the wind is blowing through your hair and the song that just describes your entire soul happens to come on, and the person that you happen to want to be with happens to love the same song? And suddenly you realize you’re listening to it together? And that no matter how crazy your life has gotten, there’s this one moment, this perfect moment where you could say that no matter what happens, nothing can take this moment away from me.
Liz stopped as Max looked up at her expectantly.
“Is that how you see the time we spend together?” he asked.
“Always, Max. Every moment is perfect,” she replied before turning back to her journal for the last entry she’d made since the trip had started.
There are days when everything seems wrong, when little things just irk you for no good reasons. And then there are days like today. When the whole world just sings to you from the minute you open your eyes in the morning till the minute you shut them again at night. Days when I actually enjoy cleaning the milk shake machine.
Max could hear the smile in her voice as she read her own words. As she kept going, he was suddenly sobered by her last sentences on the page.
I’ve always been the one who comes through in the time of crisis. I do what’s necessary and I don’t panic. But seeing Michael so sick and having no way of knowing what was wrong or how to help made me scared. Scared that one day something could happen to Max and I wouldn’t know how to help this person who means so much to me. Who means everything.
Liz stopped at the last word and closed the journal shut. He looked up at her, searching her face for any regret she might have felt about what she’d revealed. When he saw none, he relaxed.
“It’s the whole truth,” Liz said softly.
“I know, thank you” he replied, realizing he knew now for certain what Liz thought about and for him. Liz couldn’t take her eyes off of his face as he stared at her. She felt as though she’d done the most important thing she’d ever done before. Max deserved to be told every day how much he meant to her. Max’s eyes darted to the clock on the wall and back to her, his smile mischievous.
“It’s officially Christmas now,” he said, which Liz confirmed when she saw it was just after midnight. Max was moving closer to her lips and she smiled, knowing by the look on his face what he wanted.
“But I don’t see any mistletoe,” she pointed out.
“Then we’ll just have to do without,” he said as he slid his mouth over hers. His hands came up to cradle her face in his hands and Liz smiled against his lips. The world faded around them until all she could feel was his lips, firmly parting hers, and his breathing, quickening to meet her own. Her hand on his neck felt the steady pulse of his blood pumping faster as they sank to the floor. Liz stroked his face as he pulled back a little and watched her eyes in the dim light.
At that moment Max knew exactly what Liz had written about perfect moments. And he knew that all of his would be shared with Liz.
