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Part 15
Fear

Morning smiles
Like the face of a newborn child
Innocent, unknowing
Winter’s end
Promises of a long lost friend
Speaks to me of comfort

But I fear
I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose here in this lonely place
Tangled up in your embrace
There’s nothing I’d like better than to fall

But I fear
I have nothing to give

"It hasn’t changed at all," Maria marveled from the backseat of the van. Liz glanced over her shoulder at her best friend and tried to muster a smile. It was after noon when they’d landed in Roswell and rented the van to drive into town. Max was driving, his hands loosely gripping the steering wheel. Maria sat in the middle seats with Isabel and Alex sharing the back seat.

The closer and closer they got to the center of town, the more apprehensive Liz felt. She knew that they would pass the Crashdown on their way to the Evans house and she knew that Max would turn to look at her, a silent question in his eyes. And she knew that she should nod her head and watch as Max pulled the van over to the side of the road so that she could climb out and see her parents.

When the time came, with front of the Crashdown looming in sight, Liz shook her head, instead of nodding, and they drove past. She realized that the problems she had with her parents would have to wait until after they found Michael. Time was too important right then and Liz wasn’t sure that she could face them yet. As Max turned down his old street, Liz finally felt a smile reaching her face.

It had been too long since they’d seen Diane and Philip, and she was looking forward to their reaction to Max. And the Evans house held such memories for her and Max. Not all good, but the memories were still there. The sleepless nights when she’d climbed in through his bedroom window, the night she’d come to see him when her grandmother was in the hospital, and the countless evenings she and Maria had spent with Isabel on their ritual girl’s nights.

Max cut the engine and climbed out of the van, waiting for the others to join him. He glanced back at Isabel, searching her face for reassurance. He knew that their parents knew their secret, and Isabel had told them they accepted and loved them anyway. He still had doubts. It was hard to shake the belief that even with how much he thought they loved him, knowing the truth might change that. His eyes drifted to Liz and then he smiled. She had proven to him that his fears were not founded.

Taking a deep breath, he walked to the front door and pressed the bell, listening to the echoing ring through the house. It felt strange to be on the opposite side of the door that he’d opened more times than he could remember growing up. Max felt his heart speed up at the sight of his mother’s blond hair through the crack in the side window.

"Coming!" Diane called as she approached the door and unlocked it, swinging it wide open. Her eyes fell on Max and Isabel, flanked by Alex, Maria and Liz and Diane blinked. She felt her body shake as her eyes darted over her son, standing in front of her for the first time in over ten years.

"Max!" her voice managed to cry out before he caught her in his arms and held her close. Diane sobbed his name and stroked the back of his head. Max closed his eyes, content to hold his mother. Diane laughed as she reached one free hand towards Isabel, who clasped her hand and smiled through her own tears. Somehow, Philip heard the commotion from the kitchen and he walked out, a perplexed look on his face until he recognized the young man his wife was hugging.

"Hey Dad," Max grinned, catching sight of his father from the doorway. Philip rushed forward just as Diane pulled back from Max and he gripped Max with a tight hug. Diane wiped her eyes and turned to Liz, who smiled at her. Liz saw the questions in the other woman’s eyes and she nodded, indicating they would share everything in time.

 

"So, that’s when I ran into Max and Beth in Central Park," Max finished, glancing at his parents over the glass of water in his hands. The ice in the liquid had long melted as he’d talked, explaining to his parents the events of his life in the last ten years. Diane sat across from Liz and Max, her hand tightly holding her husband’s. Maria had gone to use the phone awhile back and Alex and Isabel occupied the other seat.

"You have such a wonderful son, Max," Diane said fondly, sharing a look with Liz, who smiled at the compliment.

"I know. He’s had some amazing family to grow up with," Max replied, looking over at his sister and brother-in-law.

"Now that you know about Jim, you and Michael don’t have to hide anymore," Diane said, her eyes hopeful.

"We just have to find Michael first," Isabel said softly. Max nodded and then met his parent’s eyes.

"I always imagined telling you guys the truth about what we really are, but I never thought that you guys would take it so well," Max observed. Philip laughed.

"It was a bit of a shock at first, it’s kind of a surprise to learn that your children are aliens, but that didn’t change who you, Isabel and Michael are to us, Max. We still love you, no matter what," Philip promised.

"I know that now. I just feel like there’s so much I’ve missed," Max said, shaking his head. Diane reached forward and squeezed his hand.

"You have lots of time now, honey," she replied. Max nodded and then glanced over at the front door as someone knocked briskly. Maria hurried to it from the kitchen and swung the door open. Max practically felt his jaw drop at the sight of Kyle Valenti standing in the doorway, dressed head to toe in the uniform of the sheriff of Roswell.

"Hey there, sis. You sent up the bat signal?" Kyle asked wryly. Maria laughed at her stepbrother and walked into his open arms. Max gaped openly as Liz stood up to face Kyle and Maria. She looked back at Max’s surprise and laughed.

"Maria and Kyle have gotten really close over the years. Don’t look so surprised Max, you knew their parents got married," Liz reminded him. He stood and finally looked at her.

"I think I’m more shocked over the fact that he’s the sheriff," Max admitted. Kyle was greeting the rest of the group and then stopped when he came to Max. Kyle gave him a crooked smile and shook his head.

"Max, glad to see you made it back. Roswell hasn’t been the same since you and Michael left. No more mysterious healings after restaurant shootings," Kyle said, winking at Liz. Max looked at everyone in the group.

"Does anyone NOT know?" he asked, somewhat exasperated. Kyle laughed and clapped Max on the shoulder.

"You mean about the uh . . ." Kyle started, then made a movement with his hand, trying to approximate a UFO. Maria giggled behind him.

"Sweetie, I told you, they don’t fly," Maria teased. Kyle shot her a dirty look and then turned back to Max.

"Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me," Kyle said seriously. Max nodded, actually believing him. He never would have thought that so many people would have known their secret, and kept it quiet, but it seemed that only the trustworthy had been told. Kyle rubbed his hands together.

"So, we’re going off to look for Guerin, right? Don’t worry Maria, I’ll bet he just got a flat tire or something," Kyle said.

"They found the jeep near the Indian Reservation yesterday," Alex chimed in. Kyle couldn’t help the smirk from spreading across his face.

"He probably got sidetracked by some bad peyote," Kyle joked, trying to lighten the situation. The tearful look on Maria’s face told him otherwise and Kyle put his arm around her shoulders, trying to comfort her.

"Look, why don’t we drive out there and see what we can find? We’ve still got most of the daylight ahead of us and we can get a good six hours of searching done today. I’m sure we’ll find him," Kyle replied. The rest of the group nodded and began to get ready for the trip out to the desert. Just as they were heading out the door, Diane caught Max.

"Be careful," she said, her eyes pleading with him. Max leaned over and kissed her gently on the cheek.

"We will."

 

Beth nudged Max in the side as the desert gave way to the small town of Roswell. They’d landed at the airport over an hour ago and had picked up the car before driving into town. Max leaned over her, practically climbing into her lap, to look out the window. His eyes darted over the scenery as they passed by some of the suburbs and neighborhoods and headed towards what Beth assumed must be "downtown". She saw a main street lined with several modest size buildings, but she almost laughed at the differences between Roswell and the place she called home.

"Shouldn’t there be tumbleweeds floating across the street?" Mike asked dryly from his window. Belle laughed and Beth smiled at her brother. It sure was different from New York City.

The car slowed and Jim pulled it off to the side, parking in front of the sheriff’s station. Max watched Amy and Jim as they discussed something quietly between themselves, trying to keep their voices low. Max narrowed his eyes, no amount of whispering could keep him from reading the tension and worry in the adult’s faces. He instantly felt guilty, having lied to get them all to Roswell.

But he could feel it, so close. Max suspected he was sensing Michael, but he knew that something was pulling him out to the desert. He’d noticed that Beth, Belle and Mike had become quieter and they had all traded glances as they’d neared Roswell. Max had felt the pull all the way in New York City, thousands of miles away, but he knew by the looks on their faces that they were beginning to feel it too.

"Come on kids, let’s get out of the car," Amy said, her voice trying to sound cheerful through her worry. Max caught Belle’s pained expression at Amy’s tone and he squeezed her hand. They’d gotten this far and they weren’t backing out now. Jim started to walk towards the front doors of the sheriff’s station and Amy guided them down the street.

"Jim is going to see what he can find out about your parents. In the meantime, we’re going to the UFO Museum," Amy said, walking behind them.

"What? So we can check out our heritage?" Mike asked sarcastically. Beth shot him a glare and Amy glanced at her grandson.

"Michael James DeLuca, don’t get flippant with me. You heard me, now pick up your feet, I want to get there sometime today," Amy said, her voice steady. Mike quieted quickly and stopped dragging behind the group. As they walked down the street, Max looked around, soaking it all in.

He remembered everything. Not because he’s personally seen it before, but every time he touched his mother, his aunts or his uncle, he got flashes of memories. And Roswell was always a part of those memories. The ballroom where their senior ball had been. The park nearby where his father, slightly intoxicated, had made fireworks sprout come from parking meters. The club where Maria had first sung with "The Whits", Alex’s first band. Max searched with his eyes, straining to see ahead of them for the place where everything had started, the place that was always what he thought of first when he heard someone mention Roswell.

Not some goofy monument or the UFO Museum. Not City Hall or the school their parents had gone to. Max’s eyes lit up and he smiled over at Beth as the Crashdown Café came into sight. He’d seen pictures and he knew what their parents saw when they thought of the Crashdown, and he wasn’t disappointed. The UFO imbedded above the doorway was still crooked, like it had been the object to crash in 1947. The neon lights lining the edges and spelling the name of the café weren’t lit because it was the middle of the day, but the sun glinted off the metal of the UFO. The brick building looked like any other restaurant or business, aside from the aircraft above the door.

Metal chairs and tables with umbrellas sat outside, with school kids lingering at the tables and eating food. The windows bore the name of the café stenciled above the handle and Max stared at the café, longing to go inside. That’s where it had all begun, where his father had saved his mother’s life and she’d found out about his secret. He even thought he saw the fire escape off to the side of the building. The ladder would lead up to Liz’s balcony and her room where she’d lived the first eighteen years of her life.

Max caught Beth’s arm and pulled her back from the group as Amy shepherded Mike and Beth towards the entrance to the museum. Max caught his cousin’s eye and she nodded at him, suddenly keeping Amy occupied while Max pulled Beth across the street towards the café. Amy would realize they were gone in only a few minutes, but it would give them enough time to get inside. Max knew Amy didn’t want them to go to the Crashdown because his grandparents were there. He knew she was trying to shield him from any pain, but he didn’t care. He had to be inside the café, and he had to see the place that had brought everyone he loved together. And he had to meet the people who refused him even before he was born.

"Max, wait! Do you really want to do this?" Beth asked, holding him back just outside the door of the Crashdown. Her eyes flickered with concern as Max refused to hesitate and he gripped the metal door handle, pulling it open and entering in without another word. Beth followed him closely behind, holding his hand tightly in her own two hands.

Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she looked around. Suddenly, she relaxed. It wasn’t as though they were entering the lion’s den. Her fingers loosened around Max’s and she almost laughed out loud. The decorations on the wall of big headed aliens and dented UFOs were bright and loud with color. The café was modern, but also had a vintage feel to the counters and the jukebox off to the side. Everywhere she looked there was alien memorabilia. Max led her over to a booth and they sat down. He took the side facing the kitchen and the back of the restaurant and Beth sat facing the door. She smiled at Max, the dimple in her left cheek showing.

Her smile faded and she was suddenly struck by the sense of déjà vu and she looked back at the kitchen, in the general direction where Max’s eyes were trained. Beth sucked in her breath as he eyes landed on the person Max was looking at. For the first time in her life, she looked at Max and couldn’t read the expression on his face. At the sound of the front door opening she looked up and saw her grandmother, looking furious and Mike and Beth standing just inside the doorway.

Beth ignored them for a minute and looked back at Max, who hadn’t blinked or averted his eyes from the direction of the kitchen. She followed his gaze and watched as Jeff Parker finally looked up from the books he was calculating on the front counter. It was almost as if he sensed them staring at him and he was compelled to glance up. His eyes were curious as he immediately, without hesitation, looked at the booth where Max and Beth sat. Beth watched as he stared at them, though he didn’t really see her, and he concentrated on Max. She wanted to reach under the table, and squeeze Max’s hand. She knew that the lack of expression on his face was a cover. He had thought about the day he would see his grandparents with equal parts fear and excitement. And fear tended to override excitement.

Jeff stood up from the stool he was sitting on and dropped his pencil on the table. He met Max’s and his mouth fell open. After a few seconds, he managed to move his lips and he formed one word, not one Beth could hear, but she knew what he was saying.

"Max?"

Part 16