Part 11
Crawl
Faces I remember
I still see
Places in a memory
Hold onto me
And I can’t wait to crawl out of my shell
Promises you tell me
In a thousand ways
Moving on forever
Living life this way
I can’t wait to crawl
I can’t wait at all
I can’t wait to crawl
I can’t wait anymore
Cause if I wait too long
How am I going to reach my destination?
Now I know the time has come
It’s all right here
It’s all so clear to me
I can’t wait anymore
Liz felt her body begin to shake violently, as if she’d been out in a freezing snowstorm and had only just come inside. When she called his name she wasn’t even sure if her voice had come from her. She’d been dreaming of the moment when she would see Max again since she was eighteen years old.
Time almost seemed to stop. It couldn’t have been more than a few seconds, but Liz felt like an eternity passed as she focused on Max and the rest of the world disappeared. He looked exactly as she remembered, his dark hair, soulful eyes and sharp jawline. His broad shoulders were turned towards her and her eyes darted down to his large hands, which looked so gentle.
A sob escaped from her throat as she looked at him. Her vision blurred and her knees began to weaken. Somewhere in the back of her mind she acknowledged that her shoulder bag had slumped to the ground as all her attention was diverted to Max. The tears began to fall down her face as she cried and tried to take a step towards Max.
Her feet didn’t seem to want to move, but Max saw her crumbling and his eyes softened. Crossing the castle terrace, he opened his arms and she fell against him. He closed his eyes as his hands automatically went around her waist and up her back to cradle her head. For the first time in ten years Max felt her hair between his fingers. He felt her shaking and he heard her sobs against his ear. Her small body fit so perfectly against his and the pain of separation seemed to evaporate. Everything felt better when he could feel her warmth and hear her heartbeat against him.
Liz gripped Max as if he were her lifeline. Her fingers dug into his shoulder and her hand around the back of his neck threaded through his short hair. She couldn’t stop crying because she had forgotten what it felt like to be held by Max. She thought she remembered, but her memories paled in comparison to the real thing. The pain started to ease and Liz realized that she was no longer crying from sadness, she was crying because she was the happiest she’d been in years.
"I’m so sorry," Max murmured in her ear. She burrowed her face against his neck, trying to sniffle back her tears. He continued to comfort her, rubbing her back, stroking her hair until she stopped shaking. Finally feeling strong enough, she pulled back, still keeping her hands on his forearms so she could look at his face. With one hand she stroked his face, touching him everywhere. He closed his eyes as she touched him, enjoying the feel of her light fingers over his skin.
He lost himself in her touch so much that it took him a few seconds to register the feeling of her lips on his. He kept his eyes closed as she increased the pressure of her lips against his. Deepening the kiss, he parted her lips and traced her lips with his own. She sighed against him and Max’s knees nearly buckled. Liz’s mouth on his had such a potent effect on him, it was being drunk. When he finally reluctantly pulled back she gazed up at him with such sad eyes.
"Max, I’ve missed you so much," she said, her voice low and trying to rationalize who she was speaking to.
"I know. I had no idea how much I would miss you," Max replied, gently touching her face with his fingertips.
"Why did you and Michael leave without telling any of us? God, Michael! Where is he? Maria will want to see him," Liz exclaimed, as she suddenly realized what Max’s appearance meant.
"Michael’s in Venezuela, but he should be here soon. I left a message for him to come. You know why we left like we did," Max said softly, knowing that even after as long as it had been, Liz would still understand his way of thinking.
"Because you thought you were protecting us all," Liz replied, dropping her eyes to the ground. He nodded mutely and they fell silent for a few seconds. Max could sense Liz’s anger and the sadness she had lived with for years. He wondered if she would be able to forgive him for the pain he’d caused. Suddenly, her shoulders straightened and she looked at him right in the eye. Her gaze was steady and strong as she refused to look away.
"I understand why you left. I even love you for it. But I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering where you are, if you’re alive," Liz glanced behind them at their son, who was standing off to the side with Beth, watching his parents with a wide grin. "And I don’t want our son to wonder who his father is."
Max nodded, knowing that he had a lot to answer to for the actions he and Michael had taken. He knew that the decision that he had agreed to with Michael had done more harm than good and that he was lucky to have a chance to start over.
"I know, and I’m sorry. I won’t ever run off again," Max replied. Liz shook her head and pressed a finger against his lips, stopping him.
"Don’t be sorry. Just remember who your family is and who will stand by you, no matter what," Liz replied, running her hands up Max’s shoulders. He finally nodded and smiled, a gesture, which Liz had forgotten, could elicit a smile from her on sight. She smiled back and found that she couldn’t stop laughing as Max leaned closer, hugging her tight against his chest. She almost couldn’t draw breath, but the feeling was a pleasant reminder of who held her close.
"I love you," Max whispered. Liz felt the tears gathering in her eyes, she’d wondered if she would ever hear those words from the man she loved.
"God, I’ve missed you," she replied before she pulled back and leaned in for another kiss. Against his lips she murmured to him. "I love you."
Across the terrace, Max and Beth watched Max and Liz, both kids grinning. Beth had clutched at Max’s hand when Liz had appeared, she’d been so afraid of what her aunt would say to them. When Liz and Max had embraced, Beth felt as though a huge weight was lifted. She and Max had managed to help bring his parents back together.
"Look at them," Beth whispered to Max. He nodded and squeezed her hand as his parents kissed. They looked at each other and Beth froze, Max’s dark eyes seemed to soften as he looked at her and her eyes drifted down to their hands, fingers interlaced. Beth felt her breath catch as Liz and Max walked over to them. Max let go of her hand to hug his mother.
"Max! Did you do all this?" Liz asked as she pulled back, looking straight into her son’s eyes. He nodded and she looked at Max and back at their son. "How did-how long have you known Max was here?"
"Just since the field trip two days ago," Max said. Liz closed her eyes almost painfully.
"Why didn’t you tell me?" she asked. Max sensed this was a conversation between Max and his mother, so he stepped away, next to Beth.
"I didn’t want to get your hopes up, or disappoint you if he wasn’t going to stay around," Max replied, his voice low. Liz sighed, realizing her son and Max did have quite a bit to catch up on. She knew without a doubt that Max would never leave her and their son once he knew there was no danger, but her son didn’t know his father enough to realize that.
"You are so like your father," Liz said, embracing her son once more. They pulled apart and Liz smiled at Max, them both knowing that things were settled. Max looked at his son and Liz and felt a twinge of envy at their easy non-verbal communication that seemed to flow so easily. Liz caught his gaze and held out her hand for him, which he took without hesitation. Liz sighed at the feeling of her son’s and Max’s hands in hers, something she’d always wondered if she would feel.
"Shouldn’t we tell the others?" Beth asked, not wanting to interrupt the reunion, but she knew the rest of the family would want to know Max was back. Liz looked at Max again, unable to stop glancing at him.
"Yes, we should," she replied, reaching for her cellphone.
"Did Liz say what this was all about?" Alex asked as he and Isabel entered the elevator of Liz and Maria’s apartment building. Isabel shrugged her shoulders.
"No, she just said to come to Maria’s place right away. Maria and Mike and Belle are already there and Liz has Max and Beth, so I don’t know," Isabel replied, trying hard to cover the initial fear she’d felt at Liz’s urgent call. At first she’d been concerned for the children, and her relief at their safety had not been lost on her husband.
"They’re okay, Isabel. You haven’t let Max and Michael down," Alex said, stroking Isabel’s long blond hair, which was swept up in a ponytail. She eased back against him and he kissed her cheek. Sometimes she felt like Alex was the only one who understood how afraid she was that something would happen to Max and Michael’s children and that it would be her fault for not protecting them.
The elevator bell dinged as they reached the top floor and Alex nudged her out into the hallway with a gentle bump of his hips. Alex walked next to her slowly and Isabel smiled at his attempts to slow her down, at his attempts to calm her. They knocked on Maria’s door and Mike answered, letting them in. Maria came from the kitchen with Belle following closely behind. Her eyes were curious as Alex and Isabel entered the living room.
"We don’t know what all this is about," Alex said, sitting down on the couch. Isabel walked over to the window and stared outside at the city lights, just starting to come on in the dim remaining sunlight. Belle sat down next to her father and he put an arm around his daughter. Mike walked over to Isabel and she put an arm around him, instinctively pulling him closer.
"Is everything okay?" Mike asked Isabel. She looked down at him and tried to muster a smile.
"Something’s different," she paused, then her eyes shifted as she thought she heard footsteps in the hallway outside the apartment. Her voice sounded strained even to herself.
"Max . . ."
"Max is fine, Aunt Isabel, he’s with Beth and Aunt Liz," Mike said, trying to reassure her. Isabel pulled away from him gently and quickly walked to the door. Alex looked up as she passed him and he knew her look of determination meant something had happened. He stood to follow Isabel, but stopped when she yanked open the front door and came face to face with her brother.
"Max . . ." Isabel’s voice trailed off and she smiled at Max, who stood next to Liz, Beth and his son. She knew she was crying when Max reached up and brushed the tears from her cheek.
"Hey Iz," Max whispered. Isabel sobbed and reached for Max, his arms automatically going around her waist as she held on tight. For the longest time they just stood and held each other. Slowly, she felt him coming back to her until she could feel his presence filling a space in her mind that had been achingly hollow.
Somehow, Maria got everyone inside the apartment and she shut the door. The kids were talking excitedly with Max and Beth as they told the story of how they’d found Max in the Park. Maria and Alex naturally gravitated towards Liz until they stood facing each other. Maria and Alex saw Liz’s smile and the happy light in her eyes and they hugged her, the three of them embracing for a long time.
After a few minutes, Isabel finally pulled back from Max and she kissed him on the cheek. She felt the loss of his arms around her as Maria edged over and pulled Max into a hug. Isabel reached behind her without looking, sensing Liz standing right there. Liz gripped her hand with hers and they both looked at Max, standing in Maria’s apartment and looking as if not a day had passed. Maria finally stepped back and she shoved Max slightly.
"That was for whatever compelled you guys to leave in the first place. Where is Michael?" she asked, her voice dropping quickly to a hint of desperation. Max touched the side of her face, trying to comfort her like he had her daughter.
"He’s on his way. He’s been in Venezuela and he should have gotten my message by now. He’ll come straight here and right to me," Max promised. Maria’s eyes mirrored her disappointment, but she managed to smile and hug Max once more, happy her friend was back. She moved back and Alex stepped forward, giving Max a hug before he stepped back and gripped his shoulder. Max caught his eyes and held the other man’s gaze.
"Thank you for taking care of them, all of them," Max replied. Alex smiled and nodded, leaning forward.
"It’s been a pleasure Max. It’s good to have you back," Alex replied. Max shook his hand, then gestured to the wedding ring on Alex’s finger.
"So, you married my sister?" he asked. Alex grinned and glanced over at Isabel, who stood off to the side, holding Liz’s hand.
"Well, you weren’t around to ask for a blessing," Alex joked, putting an arm around Max. He laughed as Alex pulled him over to the kids, knowing their curiosity was the only thing keeping them as quiet as they had been.
"I’m guessing you know Max and Beth, this is Beth’s twin, Michael," Alex said, gesturing to the boy standing next to Beth. Max held out his hand and Mike shook it, his grip tight.
"Mike," he corrected. Max nodded, making a mental note. He blinked as he looked at the boy, who gave him a slightly crooked smile.
"Maria, he looks just like . . ."
"Michael, yes, I know," Maria answered ruefully. She ruffled the spiky hair of her son.
"And this is Belle, our daughter," Alex said, pulling the girl next to Mike over. Max kneeled down on his knees and looked straight into her eyes. She had light red hair with a touch of blonde to it, like her father, but her smile was vintage Isabel. Max smiled at her and when he saw her smile back, he suddenly felt as though he were ten years old again, looking at his sister.
"I knew you’d come back," she said confidently. Max cocked his head to the side.
"You did? How?" Max asked. He hadn’t even known that he would come back.
"Because of everything that they’ve said. There was no way that could all be true and you would not come back," Belle stated. Max’s face softened into a smile and he nodded, not really trusting himself to speak after being so quickly accepted into these children’s lives. He felt like he’d always been apart of their lives.
They looked at him not as a stranger, but like they knew him. As Max stood and turned to Liz, walking into her arms again, he realized that they did know him. Maria, Liz, Isabel and Alex had made sure that their children knew who he and Michael were.
And finally, as she held him tight and whispered his name near his ear, Max began to cry. He was finally home.
"What happens now?" Isabel asked the group. They sat sprawled around the living room. Maria was perched in the window seat nearby, Isabel sat with Alex on the couch, his head in her lap as she stroked his hair. Liz was curled against Max on the loveseat next to the couch. Max took a deep breath, they’d been talking about the last ten years, what had happened to them all, for hours. The kids had gone to bed an hour before, but the adults had stayed up.
"I wish I knew when Michael would get here. He doesn’t know about the whole situation, I just told him to get here right away. He’ll come as soon as he gets the message," Max replied, feeling helpless as Maria returned her gaze to outside the window. He felt powerless in his inability to give Maria a better answer. Liz stirred against him slightly, he’d felt her body loosen and ease when she’d fallen asleep against him half and hour ago.
"What do you want to do now?" Alex asked pointedly. He couldn’t stop protecting all the women he loved in an instant, and Max realized that as he met Alex’s fierce gaze. And he was grateful for Alex’s slightly defensive tone, even though leaving had been a mistake, he and Michael had known that Alex would take care of Isabel, Maria and Liz.
"There’s so much I want to do. Most of all, I want to try and make up for all the time I’ve wasted without Liz and my son. But I also want to fix some of the problems we left behind in Roswell," Max said, knowing his sister would object. She didn’t disappoint him as she looked up, startled.
"Problems? What problems Max? Mom and Dad already know everything. If you want to see them, they can be here by tomorrow night," Isabel replied. Max shook his head, stroking Liz’s hair.
"I do want to see them, but that’s not it. There are things to straighten out with Liz’s parents and with the sheriff. It’s been over ten years, and it’s been long enough. I can tell Liz and Max have suffered and I want to make things better for them," Max replied.
"You want to leave right away?" Isabel replied, her voice hurt. Max met her eyes and was startled by the vulnerability he saw there.
"Not right away. I just want to go back soon. Maybe it’s time for us all to go back and get some closure," Max replied. Maria stood up from her seat and faced the group.
"Max is right. We’ve avoided Roswell like the plague and it’s time that we stop running. Once Michael gets here, I think we should all go back. We can leave the kids here, I’ll call my mom," Maria said, walking to the kitchen. Max watched her go, knowing that Maria needed to do something while she waited for Michael to return.
"Why is she calling her mom?" Max asked.
"Amy can come and watch the kids while we’re gone," Alex replied. Max nodded and then leaned back in his chair, listening to Liz breath softly against his chest. He looked at the clock on the wall and then at Liz.
"It’s getting late. I think I’ll get Liz into bed," Max said. He carefully shifted and put his arms underneath Liz, lifting her and trying not to shift her too much. She automatically put her arms around his neck and snuggled against him as he carried her towards the door. He was amazed that even after ten years she still responded to him so naturally, as if her body hadn’t forgotten what it was like to he held by his. Maria held open the front door and handed him a key.
"Straight down the hall, last door on the left," Maria said softly, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek gently. Max walked with Liz down the hall, wondering at how she barely weighed heavier than a feather. He unlocked the door to the apartment and carried Liz in the direction of the bedroom, declining to turn on any lights so he wouldn’t wake Liz. Their son was staying at Maria’s and Max was determined not to leave Liz that night.
He settled her onto the bed and she instinctively moved under the blankets when he pulled them down for her. At the loss of his arms around her, Liz reached for him and he sat down next to her. She slept quietly, her mind drifting between being awake and asleep. He unlaced her shoes and after pulling his own sneakers off, joined her under the covers. She fit against him perfectly, melding every space and curve of his body as she relaxed with a sigh. Max closed his eyes and traced the edge of her spine with his fingers. He ached to touch every inch of Liz, he’d missed how in tune with her body he was.
When he feet tangled with his for warmth he smiled, remembering back to the winter when they’d first gone to Snowmass. Her feet were always cold and his were always warm, so she naturally moved towards him. He never minded, it merely reminded him how close she was, and after as long as it had been, it was a welcome feeling. Max breathed deep, smelling her everywhere around him, on the sheets, pillows and right in his arms and he fell asleep easily for the first time in ten years.
Part 12