PART THIRTY SIX

Golden light leapt and receded along the white stucco of Tess’s bedroom walls, replaced intermittently by looming shadows. She’d found three candles in her dresser drawer, and had manipulated them with her powers, until there were some fifty tiny flames illuminating her bedroom with shimmering light.

She wasn’t sure why she’d been so compelled to fill her room with candles, to mirror what she’d seen in Riley and Anna’s room earlier. But somehow she’d simply known to do it, that it was necessary, urgent even.

And then she’d curled into a tiny ball on the small loveseat beneath her bedroom window and waited. Waited for sleep to seduce her, for her near-mate to hold her…for his love to claim her.

She’d felt his essence penetrate her own as keenly as an arrow earlier on the trail, and his energy had radiated through every part of her body in response, leaving her flushed and soothed all at once. But the warmth of his presence had quickly faded, just as the desert cooled with the setting sun, so that now there was only the faintest heat remaining in her hands and face.

After their brief connection on the trail, she’d been forced to sit through a lengthy group meeting, when all she’d wanted was to sequester herself, to bathe in the glow of Marco’s love. Instead, there’d been planning and strategies, and the insistence that she contact him as immediately and concretely as possible. So many questions, too much to remember in her sleep, so that Liz had finally suggested she make a list and take it to bed with her.

Tess had to laugh at the idea, not because it wasn’t a good one, but because as she’d explained after seeing Liz’s confused expression, it was just such a Liz Parker thing to do. Liz had smiled grudgingly, until Tess had rolled her eyes in playful exasperation, which had elicited a true grin from her friend. What she hadn’t shared was how sensual her dream meetings always were with Marco, how imbued with passion and sensory experience. The idea of simply thrusting a list of practical questions under his nose at such a moment was nearly absurd, no matter how necessary.

So now Tess sat staring out her window into the black mountain sky, watching the full moon track its path slowly upward, all too aware that sleep seemed like a distant acquaintance when she needed it to be the most intimate of friends.

The problem was, her spirit was far too restless, just as it had been all day. She was awash with new sensations and emotions, but more than that, she couldn’t stop the keen anxiety that kept assaulting her about Marco.

And she had no idea if she should warn him at all. Riley had given her no clear answer on that point. It seemed that by joining her powers with Marco’s, she’d traversed into a cloudy realm she couldn’t quite understand. Decisions and knowledge were suddenly based on such shady impressions, dim prescience.

Yet she was certain that the way her inner terrain was continuing to transform, making her like Marco, was a more beautiful place to inhabit. A more powerful one, too. Frighteningly powerful. Which was what unsettled her the most about Marco’s position within the enemy camp. In the past twenty-four hours, as she’d battled sensations and waves of empathy from all those around her, she’d understood Marco more clearly than at any point in the past year. What he’d lived with all his life…and how an enemy might crave his rare and exotic gift.

A man like Khivar might want to twist it, manipulate what resided inside Marco’s pure heart for his own dark purposes. While Tess wasn’t sure exactly how that might be accomplished, she couldn’t shake the sense that Marco’s Empathy might have something to do with her sinister premonitions about him.

So all she could do was try to calm her spirit, to woo sleep a bit closer, in the hope that Marco might come with it. And in some way that she couldn’t fathom, the candles seemed important, a pivotal part of their meeting this night. The idea had first occurred to her on the trail, as images had begun flashing through her mind while she connected with Marco.

Candles, flame…light and dark, midnight and sun…dark hair, blonde. Marco and Tess…power…knowledge…alluring seduction…light to dark, day to night…

Tess felt her eyes grow heavy as she remembered how compelling the candles had been once she’d seen them in Riley’s room—and how much more she’d needed them after feeling Marco touch her hours earlier.

Not just candles, she thought, staring into their dancing majesty. Something more important, unnamable…flickering, twisting…

And then shadow overcame her, followed by sleep.

"How did you know?" She felt the question before she heard it really. His rich voice, deep and soulful, beckoning her closer. Again he asked, "How could you have possibly known?"

And then she felt his warm hands on her bare thighs, large and sure, instantly electrifying her, even in sleep.

"Know what?" She asked sleepily, her eyes fluttering open. And he was there, kneeling on the floor just in front of the sofa, staring up at her with his moody dark eyes.

" Lsasthre nie," he whispered, staring at her meaningfully, as if she’d understand. She touched his face gingerly, not quite certain he wasn’t an apparition from her dreams, yet his jaw line was shadowed by scratchy beard. She drew in a breath at the confirmation that the moment was genuine, even in her sleep.

"Marco," she cried, propelling forward into his arms. Instantly, he enfolded her, caressed her hair as he kneaded it within his hands.

"Sweet Tess," he murmured. "My love, m’lasthre." And then again, "How did you know?"

"Know what?" She nearly cried, just feeling his strong arms surround her, his muscled chest. Everything about Marco McKinley was like a fortress, always had been from the moment he’d first touched her. Held her. And now more than ever, she felt hidden away within his embrace.

"The candles, did someone tell you? Riley? Anna?"

"I saw them in their room this afternoon," she explained, confused by the intensity of his questions. "For some reason, it seemed important to light some myself."

"I’m sure it did." Marco sighed softly, running his hands down her back, touching her all over. She had the distinct impression that he was trying to absorb her somehow, was taking part of her within himself just by caressing her. In response, she pressed her face against his shoulder, smelling his strong earthy scent, as she closed her eyes.

"Why are they important?" She asked quietly.

He hesitated a moment, shifting his weight slightly, yet he never let go of her. "They’re part of the Antarian…" his voice faded a moment, and Tess pulled back, needed to look into his eyes. He dropped them instantly, his long lashes fanning downward. "the…Antarian…mating…"

Tess couldn’t help smiling at how suddenly shy he seemed, as he stammered quietly about something so innocuous as candles. Or maybe they weren’t? She thought briefly, as she ran her fingers through his short hair. She loved the feel of it now that he’d cut it, the way it prickled her fingers a bit, and how unmanageable the soft curls were, even this closely cropped.

"The Antarian mating… what?" She pressed him, and slowly he raised his eyes again to lock with her own.

"Ritual," he finished, his deep voice edged with emotion. "The candles are ancient, Tess…they signify the power of a bonding… our bonding, in this case," he added, glancing quickly around the room at the lights.

"Wh-what are you saying?" She asked, cocking her head sideways as she tried to follow what he really meant. "That we’re bonding…now?"

"No, no," he rushed to explain, as he continued to stare deeply into her eyes. "But a part of you knew instinctively that we’re getting so close to it…it was primal your need to do it, wasn’t it?"

Tess nodded her head slowly, swallowing hard. Primal. That was the exact word…she’d been compelled, had known some kind of strength and mysticism would reside in their simple flames.

"Yes, power, Tess," he finished her thoughts. "The power of our union…the power that is to come when our souls finally join."

"I-I don’t understand," she whispered, tracing her fingers down the nape of his neck. "We’re not bonded yet, so…"

"You’re summoning the potential of what we will be," he said simply. "You’re invoking a future that belongs to us, claiming it to be so by this act, Tess. And in that, releasing the power of our future union."

Tess chewed on her lip, trying to digest what he was saying. Marco rocked back on his heels, dropping his hands from her thighs as he gazed around the room at the shimmering glow that surrounded them. "In this," he explained in a hushed voice. "You’re commanding what we are meant to be, and that…empowers us just as surely as Riley and Anna recreate their own mating time in order to synchronize their energy."

"Yes!" she cried, clasping her hands together. "That’s exactly what they said they were doing with the candles! I forgot that…"

"And yet you have synchronized our energy in just the same way."

"Without our being…mated." She stumbled on the last word because it always sounded so surprisingly blunt, so honest when things were still so relatively chaste between them.

"But you are my near mate, Tess," he explained, gazing up at her again. "And this is Llasthre nie…what you have done."

Tess nodded silently, noting Marco’s attire for the first time. He wore black jeans and a thick black turtleneck, not the army fatigues from the night before. They made him look like a beat poet, or some other equally romantic figure. That combined with his naturally dark features, and she had to draw in a steadying breath. Maybe it was all the mating talk, or maybe the affect of Marco’s smoldering dark looks, but suddenly she needed him with sharp intensity. The urge was so keen, she shivered softly, feeling quite chilled in just her t-shirt.

"I want you, too," he smiled, leaning forward again. He planted his hands firmly on the sofa around her, so that she was framed within his forearms.

"How do you do that exactly?" She giggled, feeling suddenly carefree and girlish, not like a warrior in the midst of battle. "Read my thoughts so clearly."

"I hear them," he answered with a light shrug. "They pass right through my mind as if you speak them. But I feel them too, like a vibration…"

"You feel the words?"

"I feel your heart as you think them," he said, chewing on his full lower lip thoughtfully. "It happens with most people, but never so clearly as with you."

"Did that…change? Lately, I mean?" She asked, feeling her heartbeat quicken at his words. He hesitated a moment, just studying her from where he knelt, then finally shook his head.

"Not really…maybe a bit," he said. "It’s always been more intense with you, Tess. It was part of how I knew."

"Knew?"

"That you were my soulmate," he answered in a hushed voice, reaching to slowly stroke her hair where it fell across her shoulder.

"But…but…" she couldn’t think clearly enough to answer, the thoughts came so quickly. He’d insisted for so long that they couldn’t be together, that he wasn’t allowed to mate because of being a royal protector.

"I was stupid."

"No, no…stubborn maybe."

"I was stupid because I fought what was so obvious, because I almost let it happen again," he continued, his voice rising a bit sharply. "I almost pushed you away in a second lifetime."

"You know?" she cried incredulously. "About Marek and Ayanna?"

"I’ve been dreaming of Ayanna for months, Tess, you know that."

"B-but…"

"My waking self doesn’t remember, but my dream self does. You’ll have to tell me when we meet outside this twilight realm. Explain."

"Does your waking self know that I’m your soulmate?"

"Ah," he smiled softly, his single dimple suddenly appearing. "I knew that for a long time. That’s why I say I was stupid."

"I love you," she whispered quietly, and his eyes snapped to meet her own. "More each day. You must know that."

Slowly, he nodded his head, stroking her hair with his fingertips. "Love is such a powerful, and yet inadequate word for how I feel about you, Tess. At times, I think my feelings for you transcend that word altogether…and I can only imagine what will happen once we bond."

"An explosion," she laughed, yet she didn’t miss the sadness in his black eyes as he stared at her. And that’s when she remembered all her earlier apprehension. "What?" She cried, clasping his hand within her own. "What aren’t you telling me?"

"You already know. I feel it within you," he answered quietly.

"The danger…you sense it, too." She tried to modulate her voice, to mask the panic that instantly escalated within her.

"For the past day, it’s in the wind, it’s in the air around me, thick and heavy," he admitted.

"Then leave," she urged, planting her small hands on his shoulders. "Tonight. Come back to camp now."

"You know I can’t, sweet Tess."

"But you can," she cried, her voice cracking. "Of course you can…you can just leave, and tell me where you’ll be, and we’ll pick you up. You can be with me tonight…with us."

"Tess," he chided softly. "We both knew from the beginning that I took a vow, a vow to protect Max and Liz."

"To hell with that!" She shouted, jumping to her feet so suddenly, she half stumbled over him. "You’ve served them and served them…"

"And shall serve them yet longer," he finished quietly. "As will you. You could have it no other way." He rose slowly to his feet, until he towered over her like a beautiful shadow, a mountain obscuring moonlight.

"We all sense the danger…you, me, Riley…Anna," she stormed, stomping her foot in frustration.

"I must stay," he repeated, and this time his voice was more strong and commanding. "We always knew it could come to this. It’s what I’ve been prepared for all my life. Khivar comes soon…I must be there to fight for the resistance. It’s not just Max and Liz, it’s the Antarians…it’s Earth."

"I know," she answered weakly, dropping her head.

"Remember what you laid claim to tonight," he urged her. "With the candles. You proclaimed our future and said it would be so."

She nodded again, still staring down at the floor, until she felt his fingers graze her chin and lightly tip it upward. "We have such little time, Tess," he said. "Let’s not spend it this way."

She remembered the list, lying on the sofa. "There are questions, things I’m supposed to ask about Khivar."

"First us," he said quietly. "Then we will deal with the others."
She nodded solemnly, gazing up at him a moment. They stood only a few inches apart, and she could feel energy emanating from his body. More than that, though, she felt nearly unsteady from the strength of his emotions, which were washing over her faster than she could identify them. She stumbled a bit, and he caught her by the arm.

"I-I’m not used to…it…yet," she explained as he held her firmly within his hands, concern flickering in his eyes. "The Empathy."

"It was too much this quickly, especially without me to guide you in it," he agreed, nodding thoughtfully. "But you’re handling it fine, Tess."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know you, how strong you are," he explained. "Or I never would have allowed us to join our powers the way we did."

"It scares me," she admitted softly, feeling childish.

"Do I?" He asked, and she couldn’t miss how vulnerable he sounded. "Scare you, I mean?"

"Of course not!" She cried, shaking her head in brisk denial. "How can you even wonder that?"

"Because what scares you is the greatest part of me, Tess," he explained. "It pulses in my blood, is what I am."

"It doesn’t frighten me inside of you, Marco," she whispered. "It never could."

Marco drew her close against his chest, and she felt the soft wool of his sweater brush against her cheek. Beneath it, she could feel his tautly muscled chest, and the soft hammering of his heart.

"I have changed you Tess, you’re right," Marco said, kissing her lightly on the top of the head. "And the transformation is only going to continue in the coming days and weeks. But what I’ve given you isn’t some wild, untamed thing. You’ll control your gift, just as I do."

"That’s what Riley told me this afternoon."

"Well you should listen to my brother," Marco laughed softly. "If you wont listen to me."

"Oh, yeah, right," Tess complained archly. "You have such a hard time getting me to listen to you, McKinley."

"I suppose you really should be the one raising that complaint, not me."

"Well, listen to this, then," she breathed seductively, staring up at him. "I’ve waited all day for you to come to me, to kiss me…" Her voice trailed off, and she licked her lips, feeling suddenly daring—and she tried to ignore the fear that kept edging in on her about Marco’s safety.

He reached large hands to cup her face, and bent low to kiss her. His lips brushed against hers, soft and full and slowly he urged her mouth open. Every time he touched her was a slow caress, an act of obvious worship. She closed her eyes tightly shut, as their tongues began to twine rhythmically together, and his salty taste instantly filled her mouth.

His hands tangled through her hair, and she rose onto her toes to deepen the kiss. She always forgot that he was more than a foot taller than she was, and when they stood like this, she craved more of him than she could nearly reach. Her own hands threaded through his bristling black hair, drawing his dark head closer down to her. He moved quickly, guiding her backwards toward the sofa, until he eased her onto her back. She was so lost in the swirling impressions that were sweeping over her, that she hardly noticed when he lowered himself on top of her until suddenly she realized they were lying flush against one another. She felt his strong arousal through his jeans, pushing hard against her own bare thigh.

"Ahh," she murmured in his ear, nipping at his throat. In reply, he buried his dark head against her breasts, pulling her t-shirt upward. Only this time, she felt warm hands against her ribs, then her very bare breasts. He gasped softly in surprise when he realized she wasn’t wearing a bra, his fingers stilling a bit for a moment.

"It’s okay," she urged with a smile as he looked up at her in question. Only, Marco, she thought. Only my gentle Marco would even wonder if I minded something so innocent.

He answered by kissing her again, a slow, searing thing that felt like a brand right down to her soul. She literally sensed something shift inside of her, as he began stroking her nipples, as if he were doing something to her in the unseen realm.

"Wh-what…are you…doing?" She managed to gasp.

"Going deeper…inside."

And that’s what it was, she realized as she felt his kisses move from her skin to her soul. To her Empath’s soul. This was something unique to them now, a particular way they would open to one another, different than a bond, though that would come for them soon, too.

She gasped as she felt him penetrate her more deeply, sensed him stroking her from the inside out, felt his kisses graze her heart. "Oh," she cried out softly, arching back onto the pillow as he raised her t-shirt, revealing her breasts. "More…please," she nearly begged. "Go deeper…even more…"

She felt him answer when a cascade of colors and sounds showered across her skin that could only be described as exotic and utterly alien. He’d never shown her this side of himself before, never taken her to this realm. "This is what I am," he whispered again. "Different…than others, like I’ve always told you."

"I…see…now," she acknowledged, barely able to speak as the sensations and sounds began moving inside of her. "Beautiful…just beautiful."

In response, he slipped the t-shirt over her head, until she lay nearly naked in his arms, nothing but quiet moonlight outlining her every curve and line. He sat up and stared down at her, his eyes roaming over her in unmasked appreciation. But she was surprised when she saw his eyes water a bit at the sight of her.

"What?" she asked, feeling suddenly exposed.

"I have always known you were beautiful, Ayanna…but nothing prepared me for this moment. Would you…sit up for me? That I might see even better?" he murmured the words tentatively, dropping his eyes downward.

She drew herself up, so that she knelt before him on the sofa. She wore only her silken panties, and was otherwise completely nude before her near-mate. She gave her head a quick toss, so that her long hair cascaded across her shoulders like a waterfall.

His mouth fell slightly open as his gaze traveled down the length of her, resting momentarily on her breasts then moving down to her hips. Every place his eyes traversed burned with his energy, seared just by his simplest glance, until finally his gaze fell upon her hair.

"I grew it for you," she admitted. "All the months when I wondered if you were alive, if you’d ever come back to me, it was a promise I made to never give up on you."

"I could spend all day just stroking your hair, feeling it in my hands. That there is more of it, only means there’s more of you for me to touch."

"I knew…you liked it…long," she gulped, feeling her throat tighten at his words.

He reached admiring fingers to stroke the ends of her hair. "Exquisite," he murmured quietly. Almost as if in response, thick curls spilled over her shoulder, covering her breasts, and he slowly eased them away. "As are these," he added, stroking her nipples beneath his thumbs. They instantly sprang to life, answering his soft touch.

"Oh, Marco," she sighed, throwing her head back. "Why do we have to wait? Mate with me tonight, please." And she wanted all of him so badly, that she ached with her need for him. Waiting seemed impossible, unreasonable in light of the danger she sensed all around him. She might never have the chance for him to make love to her again after tonight, and even if only in their dreams, at least they’d be bonded.

"Whatever happens, Tess," he said, cupping her hips in his palms. "You will always have part of me now, don’t you understand?"

"No," she whimpered at his implied refusal to her plea. "Not at all."

"I’m inside of you, a part of me is now entwined with you, it’s what it means that we’re near-mates. We’re partially joined…the lovemaking will only complete that."

"And if you die?" Her voice broke on the question, as tears burned in her eyes.

"If I die, a part of me lives on within you." His dark eyes grew hooded, unreadable, and she pushed close to him, determined to read his expression. But she didn’t even need to because she felt his melancholy roil through her spirit.

"Do not die, Marco McKinley. Promise me." Her jaw was clinched and her voice tight. "Promise me that you will live, no matter what."

"No man has ever had more inspiration to live, than to return to you, Tess. To make love to you, to make you my wife, my lifemate…what more could I want to live for than that?"

"Live for me, then," she said, her voice breaking painfully on the words. "And come back to me when the battle is done."

The battle,a quiet voice prompted. You must show him the list now.

"The list," she cried, feeling around for it on the sofa with sudden urgency. "There are things we need to know about what’s happening in Khivar’s camp."

He nodded, as she found the crumpled paper poking out from beneath his jean-clad thigh. She pulled on it, prying it free and handed him the small piece of paper.

"Ah…Liz," he smiled appreciatively, as he read over the list, which was printed in her neat handwriting. "I should have known the list was her idea."

And Tess couldn’t help laughing giddily at his assessment, at the way their minds tracked so naturally in the same direction. He glanced up at her quizzically and she shook her head. "Just that I thought the list was such a Liz thing to do, too."

"You’re more like a warrior, interested in action and resolution."

"And Liz is more of a strategist," Tess finished, feeling suddenly inadequate to her role as Max’s chief advisor.

"You balance our king and queen well," he assessed softly, continuing to read the list, and Tess’s insecurities vanished instantly at his gentle praise.

He was silent a long moment while he read, until he folded the paper closed. "Alright then," he pronounced. "We have much to discuss, and not long to do it. Let’s give you the information that will turn the tide of this coming battle."

Tess reached for her t-shirt, feeling suddenly ridiculous sitting in front of Marco nearly naked. They were warriors now, ready to fight beside one another, not lovers. His role as a protector had to come first, of that she’d always been certain from the beginning. And what Serena had said was true, too—that when they mated, she’d take her place beside him as a warrior and a protector in her own right.

"I’m sorry," he said, his voice more throaty than usual, as he watched her dress. "As a man, you know what I want."

"But as a protector, R’thasme siet falne." She recited his vow philosophically, obviously startling him. "I haven’t forgotten, Marco. ‘Dying to self, in order to protect those most worthy.’"

"My vow’s a part of you now, too, just as my gift is."

"I know that, I feel it," she admitted quietly. "I may fight it sometimes, but I do know your vow must come first…even above me. That part’s never changed."

He nodded slowly, drawing her hand to his lips. He pressed soft kisses against her knuckles, with lips that were warm and soothing.

"I love you, Tess," he whispered, his dark eyes flashing with a nearly supernatural light. "I love you and I am coming back to you."

Tess smiled, because she felt his determination shiver right down her spine, it was that definite.

And at least that kind of strength made a powerful enemy to the whisper of danger that she sensed shifting all around him.