Finding Yourself
Part 8

The ride to the bus station was quick, far too quick. And Max once again cursed the small town they lived in. He parked and Liz got out to purchase her ticket. Max stayed where he was, knowing Liz had been right. If her knew where she was going, the temptation would be too great. He would end up watching her from the shadows just to drink up the sight of her. And that wasn’t what this forced separation was about. They had to find out who they were apart from each other if they stood any chance of ending up together.

It took Liz only a minute, then she was back, sitting in the passenger seat. They both sat looking straight ahead at nothing.

"Did you get one?"

"Yeah."

"When?"

"A half hour."

A half hour, thirty short minutes. It wasn’t enough time. He wanted to turn the Jeep’s ignition and flee with her, run to a place where they didn’t have any problems. But there wasn’t any such place. But maybe there could be someday. "What do you want to do?"

"Can we just sit here?"

"Anything you want."

Silence settled around them. There was nothing left to say. So, they watched the sunrise through the dusty glass windshield of Max’s Jeep. Liz moved to clasp hands with Max and he tightened his grip on the one piece of her flesh he was allowed to touch. How had he ever ignored her? What the hell had been wrong with him that he could be single minded enough to push Liz out of his life?

The minutes flew by and the couple soon found themselves watching the glowing green numbers of the clock on the control panel.

"I have to go."

Max nodded. "I’ll walk you out."

Together, they left the empty parking lot and through the ticket office to the bus. What few passengers there were stepped up to find their seats. Liz turned to Max, tears in her eyes.

"This is me."

Max looked into Liz’s eyes and found his own anguish mirrored there. In that instant, he realized what they were both giving up. There was a very real chance they’d never see each other again, that he could be called home or she might find someone else that would realize that perfection she was. All the dreams and fantasies of his future with her were slipping away. And he was powerless to stop it. He didn’t deserve her. But he would next time they met, if they ever met again.

"Max," Liz felt her own heart breaking as the silent drama unfolded. Would they ever have another chance, or was this it? Could this be the last time she would ever look into his deep eyes, or ever have the chance to be held in his strong arms?

On a sob, she threw herself at him, burying her head in his chest. Max’s arms came around her tight, his fingers winding up through her hair to grip her tighter to him. But it still wasn’t enough. He let her slip from his tight grip and their eyes met again. Slowly, he leaned closer, their lips barely touching.

Liz closed in the distance, wanting to feel his lips on hers one last time. She opened herself to him, pouring every bit of love into the kiss. She desperately needed him to know that she wasn’t trying to hurt him by leaving, but fixing them the only way she knew how.

Max returned the emotions. He understood why she had to go, just as he understood that his chest would be empty the rest of his life without her love, her trust to complete him. The kiss continued, both remembering better times when kisses were stolen in eraser rooms and secret rendezvous’ on her balcony let to heartfelt confessions of love.

Unable to stand anymore, Max broke the kiss. He couldn’t stop the tears if he wanted to. "I’ll always love you, Liz Parker, no matter where we end up. You made me who I am and I know I’ll see you again someday. Fate isn’t through with us yet. And hopefully, I’ll be worthy of you then."

Liz smiled through the tears that threatened to blind her, her last gift to him. She took several steps backward, not wanting to let Max slip from her sight yet. When there was nowhere left to go, she stepped on the bus, scurrying to the back window to watch Max for as long as she could. She could feel the vibration of the bus as the engine started and she knew they were leaving. She placed her palm flat against the glass, wishing there were another way, but knowing there wasn’t.

The bus moved forward and Max began getting smaller. Liz saw him start forward, almost as if to stop her, but he remained. Soon, the bus had pulled away from the station completely and Liz remained where she was, even after Max was only a speck in the distance.