Finding Yourself
Part 3

The first day back at Roswell High was just like every other first day. The group met in front of the school and walked in together, but there was none of the cheerful banter that usually followed them. They all had lockers on the same hall and they broke up to settle down for the day.

Liz turned out to have her first three classes with at least one of the pod squad, but no Max yet. With only one more class to go before lunch, Liz checked her schedule. AP Biology. Great, surely, Max wouldn’t be in there.

As she swung open the door, her eyes locked with Max’s. He gestured wildly toward her, as if he’d been waiting for her appearance. At one time, her heart would have beaten wildly, but now she merely trudged over to the station he had chosen in the back, far right corner. She could only imagine that the solitude appealed to him. There weren’t any lab stations remotely close. It was just them and a plant.

"Good, you’re here. Listen, I’ve been thinking about that crash sighting in Albuquerque, and I think we were too hasty to write it off as a potential site for the Granolith. If we leave now, we could probably make it there by sunset. They’re be less people to see us looking after dark."

So that was it? Not, how has your day been, or what do you think the new teacher will be like? This was her life now. Just Tess. Her heart cracked a little more. But Max was still talking.

"So, I was telling Michael that we should meet under the bleachers at lunch from now on. It’s more private and we can make plans more freely there than the Quad. What do you think?"

Liz was saved from having to answer as the new teacher walked in and introduced herself.

"We’ll talk at lunch."

But Liz said nothing, only pulled out her pen and notebook and began studiously taking notes. Anything to fill her brain with something other than the search for the Granolith.


Liz rode quietly in the front passenger seat of the Jeep as it bounced along the desolate Albuquerque road. The group had in fact agreed with Max’s reasoning and they had left immediately. Isabel and Kyle were in the backseat and Michael and Maria were in the Jetta. The trip had been marked by the same silence they lived with now.

Max was in his own world, no doubt planning out his strategy. Liz had watched him for part of the trip, just wanting to see an emotion flicker across his face. But there had been none. He hadn’t even known she was watching him. She thought back to a time when he would have turned to catch her watching him and she would have blushed. They would have shared a private smile and held hands for the remainder of the journey.

But those days were gone. Even Isabel and Kyle had felt the tension. They had been forced to spend unusual amounts of time together over the summer, both having lost someone they cared about. Truth be told, Isabel had found a good friend in Kyle Valenti, a surprising confidant. They may have been thrown together by horrible circumstances, but they had made the best of it.

Personally, Kyle thought Max was borderline crazy these days. This late night trip marked the fifth time this month Max had dragged them off in the middle of the night to hunt down the Granolith. One night it had been because he had dreamed of a mountain, and they had driven all night to the nearest mountain range to check it out. Another time, he had seen a billboard and another time, something had seemed familiar to him in the picture. So, they had picked up and driven across three state boarders. And each time they failed to find answers, Max dug himself deeper into the world he now lived in. Kyle guessed he understood as well as anyone Max’s single-minded determination. But frankly, none of them really did.

The thing that had surprised them most of all was that not even Liz’s presence seemed to calm Max. They had all expected the couple to forgive and forget and return to their old mushiness. They were Max and Liz, super-couple extraordinaire. Nothing could ever break them apart. Hadn’t they always said that? But if possible, they seemed to have grown even further apart. They all had noticed it, but were afraid to acknowledge what it meant.

Now, Max pulled the Jeep to the side of the road and the Jetta followed. Max climbed out, grabbing a flashlight from under his seat. Without a backward glance, he trudged off alone into the darkness.

Isabel and Kyle exchanged glances. "I guess we follow."

Maria and Michael appeared at their side. "Anybody got a spare flashlight?"

Liz sighed and pulled three flashlights from her backpack. After all the times they’d run off in the middle of the night, you’d think they would be better prepared.

The group searched high and low across the wide expanse of desert, looking for anything that might indicate that the Granolith had indeed crashed there, a piece of otherworldly metal, chemical spills, glowing rocks, a sign with an arrow pointing out the location of the Granolith. Hell, they would take anything they could find. The hours rolled into each other, but no one complained. They had done this too many times before.

Liz stood from her hunched over position and rolled out her shoulders. A quick glance at her watch told her she hadn’t slept in almost 48 hours, yet she wasn’t tired. Idly, she wondered when was the last time she had eaten. But she supposed that didn’t matter much either. She glanced back at the various groups, hoping they were having more luck than she was. Michael and Maria looked to be more talking than searching, but it had been almost six hours since they had arrived. Kyle and Isabel were still waving their flashlight around, hoping to catch a glint in its’ beam.

And then there was Max. Her heart broke just watching him. He was practically crawling on the desert sand, desperately looking for some sliver of hope. How many more times could he do this? Each time they searched only to find nothing, he became a bit more defeated, pushing her a bit further away. How many more times could she let him?

She hated to admit it, but there might have been a grain of truth in what Sean had said the night before. Why was she here really? Nobody needed her. They hadn’t in a long time. Max had stopped looking for her real opinion months ago. He only wanted her to agree with him.

But as she watched him dig around for any trace of a crash, she wondered if what he needed wasn’t freedom. They dragged her around to every meeting and hunt, and each time Max had to bring up that night and it’s consequences, his eyes would meet hers and raw pain was reflected. They were only hurting each other. Maybe it would be best if she did just leave, skip town and get away from all the heartache, the loneliness, the pain. Maybe she needed a clean start, a chance to find out who she was. And so did Max.

She looked up and saw that the group was heading back towards the cars. She picked her way over rocks and briars carefully. They were already engrossed in a conversation by the time she got back.

"-so, I say we find a motel somewhere and crash for the night. I guess I was wrong. Nothing’s here." Max lowered his hooded eyes.

Liz looked away, not able to stand the pain in them any longer.

"Max, I really think we should drive back tonight. We do have school tomorrow, and we could just take shifts driving back." Isabel had managed over the last few months to find a soothing tone of voice that was the only thing Max actually heard.

"Yeah, if you think so." Defeated, Max swung himself back into the Jeep, his eyes staring straight ahead looking one last time for any sort of sign. When the others had climbed back in as well, he slammed the Jeep into gear and accelerated onto the highway. He only looked straight ahead now. Somewhere out there, the Granolith stood waiting, and he would do whatever it took to find it.